


Burning Barriers

by LJANderson



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Angst, Biotics (Mass Effect), Break Up, Colonist (Mass Effect), Complete, Destroy Ending, F/M, FemShep - Freeform, Fraternization, Hurt/Comfort, Jump Zero, Minor Character Death, Mystery, Normandy mission, Paragon Shepard (Mass Effect), Plot, Post-Canon, Post-Mass Effect 3, Post-War, Sexual Tension, Shenko - Freeform, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Spectres working together, Terrorism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 18:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 124
Words: 298,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17452457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJANderson/pseuds/LJANderson
Summary: Commander Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy, has escaped death twice. After cutting ties with Kaidan Alenko and battered by Alliance politics, Commander Shepard hopes a new adventure aboard the Normandy will help her find her place again.  Meanwhile, another threat is brewing on Earth, which Kaidan knows only too well. Anti-alien terrorist group, Terra Firma, and its leader, the Scorpion, see opportunity. The galaxy’s most influential leaders are within grasp and the Sol system is already cut-off, if they can keep it that way.  For Commander Shepard and Kaidan Alenko, Terra Firma would destroy everything they sacrificed to save.Despite broken hearts and going their separate ways, they’ll need to work together and call on friends. Overcoming impossible odds has always been daunting.  Needing to overcome them together, may be even harder.





	1. Part 1: Aimless Victory

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 Aimless Victory (minor/moderate Shenko)  
> Part 2 Shattering Point (heavy Shenko)  
> Part 3 Burning Barriers (heavy Shenko)

**Burning Barriers**

**Part 1: Aimless Victory**

 

_Human Systems Alliance_

_The Uniform Code of Military Justice_

_UCMJ Articles 77-134: Punitive articles of military law for offenses that, if violated, can result in punishment by court martial._

_Article 134-23:  Fraternization – Personal relationships between officers that are unduly familiar and prejudicial to good order and discipline or that are service discrediting are prohibited.  Dating, shared living accommodations, intimate or sexual relationships, commercial solicitation, and private business partnerships are considered unduly familiar and violate the long-standing tradition of the armed services. A relationship is considered fraternization even when parties are in different organizational and chain of command lines.  Conduct, which constitutes fraternization, is not excused or mitigated by subsequent marriage of offending parties._

  * _That the accused was a Humans System Alliance commissioned or warrant officer_
  * _That the accused fraternized with one or more Human System Alliance commissioned or warrant officer(s) and/or enlisted member(s)_
  * _That the accused then knew the person to be a Human System Alliance commissioned or warrant officer(s) and/or enlisted member(s)_
  * _That such fraternization violated the custom of Human System Alliance regulations that members shall not fraternize_
  * _That under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed services_



_Violations of such regulations, directives, or orders are punishable, with or without verbal reprimand, by an order to cease, reassignment, denial of a promotion, demotion, and court martial. Maximum punishment will not be greater than dismissal barring reenlistment, forfeiture of pay and allowances, and confinement for two years._

 

Such punishments generally signal the end of a Human Systems Alliance military career.

 

* * *

 

**Prologue**

 

              Rain poured outside the hospital window.  Shepard stared through the running glass at the charred husks of Vancouver skyscrapers.  Silhouettes of lifting cranes moved in the gray skyline.  Down below, umbrellas hurried on pedestrian walkways as a single ground vehicle idled waiting for the intersection’s light to change.  Her view was momentarily eclipsed by a passing shuttle.  It rumbled by so slowly it had to be looking for one of the hospital landing pads.  Behind Shepard, the hospital room’s door opened with a vacuumed hiss.  Heels clicked across the tile to her bed.

              “Not getting out of bed again today?” Miranda said.

              Shepard stared at the streams of rain on the window.

              “Well?” Miranda said rounding the foot of the bed.

              Shepard folded the pillow under her head and tucked her hands beneath. 

              She sighed.  “I’ve gotten up.”

              “More than just the bathroom?”

              “Yes.”  Shepard flicked her eyes down to Miranda.  “Filled my own sippy cup, even went down the hall for ice.”

              “Oh, well, then.” 

Miranda slid her hand along the hospital bed’s railing until she loomed over Shepard.  She snatched the sippy cup off the rolling table at the head of the bed.  She sloshed it around, frowned down at Shepard, and taped it back onto the metal table top.

“What?” Shepard said.  “You think I’m lying?  Ice melts you know.”

“Must have been a while ago.  Only got ice once?  And, it’s full.  You haven’t been drinking it?”

Shepard nodded up at the IV dripping above.  “Got it coming by vein.  By mouth’s a lot more work.”

“And, you’re not going to work for anything?” Miranda put both hands on the railing and stared down at her.  “You want me to bring in your medals and a fish bowl?  Maybe hang a few pictures up on the wall?  No reason to ever leave.”

“My medals were on the Normandy.”

Miranda tapped her fingernails on the railing and nodded with pressed lips. 

“Okay.”  Miranda shoved away from the rail.

She grabbed the back of a chair sitting against the wall.  The metal legs skipped across the tiled flooring until she reached the head of Shepard’s bed.  Shepard lifted her head off the pillow.  Her eyes widened watching Miranda settle into the seat.

“What?  No,” Shepard said.

“Here.”  Miranda leaned over and clicked a button on the side of the bed.

The bed hummed.  Shepard leaned forward and twisted to watch the pillow rise with the head of her bed.

“I can get more ice,” Shepard said suddenly snapping her head back to Miranda.

Miranda pulled her fingers off the button after a moment and sat back.  She gave Shepard a dull, level look.

“Just sit back,” she said.

“You want ice too?” Shepard scooted upright and threw the blanket off her feet.  “What are you drinking, Miranda?  Got tap or filtered.”

Miranda folded her arms and cocked her head.  “You brought it up.”

“Because that’s where my medals are.  Just correcting your sarcastic dig.”

“Let’s talk about the Normandy.  It’s why you’re still in here, isn’t it?  Staring forlornly out the window.”

“Forlornly?”  Shepard sputtered.  “Please.”

“You’ve been like this for months, ever since you woke up.  We don’t know anything yet.  The Normandy could be out there, maybe stranded on the other side of some distant relay.”

Shepard folded her hands in her lap and matched Miranda’s level stare.  She didn’t say anything. 

“You know, you’re lucky to be alive.”

“I know that.”

“Then stop mopping and work on getting out of here.”

Shepard rested her head back on the pillow and sighed.  “Fine.  I’ll get ice more often.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what?” Shepard sat forward.  “You want me running laps by next week?  Tossing boulders around, climbing cliffs, jumping rooftops, doing jumping jacks?”

Miranda sat silent and stared at Shepard with an unchanged expression.

“Done?” Miranda asked.

“Two hundred chin ups?”

“Shepard.”  Miranda scooted her chair closer getting growly sigh from Shepard.  “Shepard, you’re a strong person.  This isn’t you.”

“It’s the new me.”  Shepard’s forehead pinched.  She picked at a cuticle.  She didn’t say anything more but neither did Miranda.  Finally, Shepard sighed.  “I don’t know, Miranda.  This has … I feel weak and left open.  Didn’t know I was giving myself a damned kill switch.  Mindoir, Akuze, I came out stronger.  But now with Kaid—the Normandy, I don’t know.”

“You’ll get back up.  You’re expecting too much.”

“I’ve become this irrational weakling, emotional and feeble.  There’s weakness in me.”

“We all have weaknesses.  Losing people we care about is a weakness everyone carries.”

“No.”  Shepard pressed fingers to her pinched lips and shook her head.  “No, that’s not true.  I’ve lost people before – my parents, best friends, comrades, mentors -- nothing …”  She gasped against her fingertips and squeezed her eyes shut.  “Nothing like this.  It’s not the losing part.”

Miranda sighed.  Her chair scrapped back.  A touch hesitated on Shepard’s shoulder then moved to her back.  A stiff palm rested between her shoulder blades.  Miranda cleared her throat.

“It will be … It’s okay.  Time.  That sort of thing.”

“And the geth too,” Shepard mumbled.

“Geth?” Miranda’s palm tapped her back.  “Now you’re just letting this upset spread into everything.”  Shepard shook her head inhaling a sharp breath.  Miranda’s hand tapped faster and her boots creaked as she shifted on her feet. 

The hospital room door clicked.  Shepard’s spine straightened.  The doors hissed open, and she scrubbed roughly at her face with both hands and slowed her breathing.   She turned to the door with a smoothed expression.

Admiral Hackett shifted in the open doorway.  Shepard’s stomach went up her throat.  He glanced back at the hallway before taking a single step in.

“Is this a bad time?”  His eyes went to Miranda.

Miranda didn’t answer though and gave Shepard a sharp pop on the back with her palm.  Shepard pulled her shoulders back and nodded at him with a pulled-up smile.

“Perfect time.  It’s fine,” Shepard said.

“Good, good.”  A smile grew across his face, and he stepped further in.  “I have some good news for you, Commander.”

Shepard kept her smile fixed as he stopped by the side of her bed.  He was practically beaming.  Shepard’s pulse beat in her ears, and she gripped the rail of the hospital bed.

“We got word,” Hackett said.  “Ship to ship.  She’s light years out, but she’s safe.  The Normandy’s on her way home.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Chapter 1**

 

“What happens now?” Shepard leaned back in her chair.

              Sunlight spilled over the patio’s cafeteria tables.  Alliance Headquarters bustled in the background beyond the patio’s open door.  Alliance officers and Council diplomats rushed between appointments and endless conferences.  A salarian argued into a short-range comm in his ear as he dodged around a group of elcor.  The elcor gazed through the hallway’s glass walls and beyond the patio.  They’d been there for a while drinking in the Vancouver skyline.  Seemed like a boring drink. They couldn’t even see the ocean from that angle.   A shuttle passed in the distance adding to the clamor of feet and voices.  It wasn’t the comforting roar and hum of a ship’s engine, but at least it was sound.  Anything was better than silence.

              “What happens now?” Kaidan repeated sitting across the table.  He shrugged. “We rebuild.  Everyone gets home.  Eventually.” 

             The coffee at his elbow sat untouched.  It wasn’t steaming anymore, even with the cool air coming off the bay.

              Shepard nodded idly and gazed out over the horizon.  “Ten months, Kaidan.  Long time not dropping anchor.  You all right?”

              “Yeah,” he said.  “Long time to ration though.  Never cared about a can of peaches so much.”

              “I heard what you did -- pulling the crew together, taking command.”

              He shrugged.  “Everyone did their part.  Tali and that flotilla workaround for the fuel.  Joker measuring, charting the discharge stops.  Dr. Chakwas.  Any one of us not pulling out weight, we wouldn’t have made it back.”

              “Still,” Shepard glanced at him, “a good leader knows how to use the team, make the calls.  You kept everyone from killing each other.  Talking to Garrus, it sounds like that wasn’t far off.”

              “Well,” Kaidan paused.  “Thanks.”

              Shepard drummed her fingers on the chair’s narrow metal armrest and concentrated on the cleaning streaks on the tabletop.  Kaidan’s eyes weighed on her.  She could see him in the top edge of her vision. She shouldn’t have put him off all week.  She should’ve just met with him straight off after he’d gotten back.

              “Tali’s discharged,” Shepard said.

              “Yeah?”

              “Dextran food that’s not rotted, fresh filters, antibiotics -- recipe for quarian health.”

               “For a while, Dr. Chakwas was saying if …” He stopped, and his eyes drifting off for a moment.  He looked back at her quickly.  “Well, I’m glad she’s all right.”

              He watched her quietly as she drummed her fingers again.  She should probably just say it.  That’s why he was here after all -- his email to meet, grab coffee, or whatever.  He’d probably been trying to talk to her since his migraine broke, and he was back on his feet.             

              “I never expected this.” She said it as she thought it.

              Sometimes things came out like that.  It was as if some subordinate submitted a document for distribution before it had come across the editor’s desk to get stamped for publishing.  Kaidan though, she was pretty sure what he said went through a rigorous editing process.  He probably had a whole panel of editors sitting around discarding first drafts, sending manuscripts back to the writer with sticking notes on every page, the document dripping in red ink.  Sometimes, he didn’t answer things right away.  She imagined the panel blowing up into a debate, talking over each other, shoving their chairs back as they pointed and waved fingers in each other’s faces.  Just a delay, then a decision was made, and he said something just-right and political.  No wonder the brass loved him.  Not everything was so deliberate though.  He had a few rogue subordinates running around distributing raw copies.  She’s seen it -- Horizon and other times.  That was the past though.

              “None of us expected this,” Kaidan said.  “We all thought it was ‘good bye’ that day in London, for some of us, for all of us.  No time to think about tomorrow when you still haven’t made it through today.”

              “That’s very lyrical, Kaidan.  Would go well in one of my speech.  How about I borrow it?”

              “My royalty fees are pretty steep.”

               “Then I’ll just steal it.”

              Kaidan shrugged. “You’ve stolen larger things.”

              “True.”  Shepard smiled.  “Then, so have you.  Watching over my shoulder the whole time makes you an accomplice.”

              “I knew what I was doing.  Already had my outfit picked out for the firing squad.”

              Shepard smirked.  “Really?  Something other than your uniform?”

              “No, it was my uniform, but I had a matching blindfold for it.”

              “Uh huh,” Shepard said.  “I’d be more focused on picking out the last meal.”

              “Has to be steak.  Don’t even show me the menu.”

              “Figures,” Shepard said folding her arms.  “Well, I’m glad you didn’t need your matching blindfold.  A little sad you didn’t get your steak.  But, getting all the promotions made up for that, right?”

              “Hey, speaking of which.” He straightened.

              “The steak?”

“The promotions.  Congrats.  Staff commander.”

              Shepard gave a lopsided smile.  “Yeah?  Thanks, Major.”

              “Hey, everyone knows it’s overdue.  They can’t launch you straight to the top.  Still a step up from lieutenant commander.”

              “You met this new Alliance brass yet, Kaidan?  They’re not launching me to the top.  Maybe launching me somewhere, but sure as hell not up.”

              He frowned. “What do you mean?”

              Shepard put a hand on her coffee cup and twisted it around in the table.  “Don’t take my word for it, but go to a few more meetings and shake a few more hands, you’ll see.  With everyone stranded here and the Council living at HQ, the Alliance is positioning to be king of the mountain.  And trust me, they’re trying.  Worried I’ll usurp their control, undermine it, or something.”

              Kaidan’s frown deepened.  “But Hackett—"

              “He’s just an admiral, Kaidan.  It’s the flight admirals in the Alliance Parliament.”

              “I thought we lost most of the flight admirals.  Then I saw Dumas, Linahan, and Sheng at the meeting this week.”

              “They evacuated from Arcturus.  Holed up on some planet.  Got back to Earth maybe six months ago.  Parliament’s one big melting pot though – all the greedy hands helping each other to the top.  Earth-based military leaders and government heads filling the power vacuum.  And now, the flight admirals that survived Arcturus are back.  Alliance is essentially head of humanity, and there’s a lot of power to consolidate while everything’s new and in flux.”

              Kaidan sat silent.

              “Trust me,” Shepard added. “If I hadn’t been in the hospital for seven months, I would have done something before they planted flags.  They know that.  It’s probably why they hate me.  But they’re dug in now and been in power nearly a year.  We’ll just have to do our part to make sure they don’t get carried away.  And, we still have Hackett.  He’s not underhanded and quid pro quo enough to have gotten a hand up, but he has sway.  He’s political enough to be on their good side, I think.”

              “You really think they hate you?”

              “Sure.  Doesn’t mean they’ll hate you.  I hope.”

              Kaidan rubbed the table edge with his thumb.

              “You’ve met with them, right?” Shepard asked.

               “Uh, yeah, but I didn’t …” Kaidan focused back on her.  “You think they plan to undermine the Council?”

              “Not precisely,” Shepard said.  “Not officially anyway.  How could they?”

              Kaidan’s brow wrinkled.  He stared at the table, quiet.

              “Hey,” Shepard booted his foot under the table.  “It’ll work out.  It’s a nice summer day.  It’s Earth, and you’re home, right?”

              “Yeah, I guess.” He gave a small smile.

              His eyes scanned her face studying her.  The coffee cup crumpled slightly in her hand, and she loosened her grip before drawing her lips into a smile.  Kaidan opened his mouth as if to speak.

“So, uh … Kaidan,” Shepard said quickly.

              She needed to get back on track.  She’d always gone off the cuff in her speeches, and she'd accomplished a lot not knowing a word she was going to say.  She brought together the krogan, turiens, quarians, … the geth.  Shepard swallowed and refocused. Yes, she’d accomplished a lot just telling it how it was, blunt and unscripted.  But Kaidan, he was so careful with what he said, he deserved better.  Better from her.  She’d thought about how to say it, how to lead into it.  She’d gone over it again and again in her head.  She just needed to get it done. 

               “I saw Garrus and Tali at the Dungeon last night.”  The opening line in her script.

              “The Dungeon?” Kaidan let out a breath and leaned back in his chair.  He crossed his arms and then quickly, as if realizing he was giving closed off body language or something, uncrossed them.  He pulled his coffee cup closer but didn’t drink it.

              “The Dungeon,” Shepard repeated, then paused.  “What?  I don’t look like a Dungeon regular to you?”

              A weak smile.

              “Do you want to?  I mean ... I guess, where else will you find a good fight near Alliance Headquarters?”

              “The council chamber for one.”

              He nodded.  His smile stretched more genuinely, and he gave a light laugh.  Not a real laugh but one conceding the humor in what you said.

              “Yeah?” He actually picked up his coffee and took a drink.  “The council chamber?  Bet you can’t find the same discount on red sand.”

              “Find red sand on someone in the council chamber?  I’m betting you can work out a discount on whatever you want.”

              “I think, I’d rather have a Dungeon drug lord as my enemy.”

              “What?  Come on.  What’s a politician next to brutes and banshees?” Shepard said.  “I’m not in the little leagues anymore.”

              “The Citadel’s arena reader board was destroyed.  Is there really any proof what league you’re in, Shepard?”

              “Damnit.  Knew I should’ve taken more pictures.”

              “Should have upgraded your Omni-Tool camera instead of adding that extra melee blade.”

              “Hindsight.” Shepard sighed holding her coffee at chest level and took a sip.

              Kaidan lounged back, his arms on the armrest, and watched her.  Her hands tightened around the cup again.  She still wasn’t ready. 

              “Think the stores on the citadel would’ve accepted my Spectre discount on an upgrade for my Omni-Tool camera?”

              Kaidan shrugged.  “You’d know.  You’re Commander Shepard, and all your favorite stores were on the citadel.”

              Shepard tapped her coffee cup onto the table and leaned forward. “Don’t be sore you missed all the endorsement opportunity by being the _second_ human Spectre.”

              “Probably for the best.” He leaned forward also.  “I couldn’t have matched your zeal in capitalizing on all those opportunities.”

              “Hey, hey.  Can’t help if advertisers love me.”

              “Your good looks get you everything.”

              “Get me everything, huh?  Probably why my warnings were taken so much to heart then.  The Alliance, the Council, the media -- their elaborate over preparation for the reapers.”

              “Overpreparation?  Good thing too.  You might have hijacked a ship or blown something up otherwise.”

              “Well, that sounds more fun anyway.”

              Their hands nearly touched on the table.  His smile broadened as he gazed back at her.  He was close enough she could touch his face if she wanted.  Her fingertips could brush down the smooth graininess of his jawline, his brown eyes searching deep into hers.  And, if she drew his face in closer, she’d feel his jaw tensing under her fingertip and his breathing tightening.  She’d smell the soap from his morning shower.

A crash exploded behind her.  She jumped and swung around reaching for that feel of biotic energy.  A cafeteria tray clattered to a stop on the patio floor behind her.

              “Uh, sorry,” an asari said picking up the tray.

              Shepard released her breath.  Kaidan touched her hand.  It jolted her.  It shocked her more than the cafeteria tray hitting the cement.  She twisted back to the table.

              “You all right?” His eyebrows furrowed.

              “Of course.”  She drew her hand off the table.

              Kaidan’s eyes flickered down where her hand had been.  He looked up quickly, but his mouth tightened.

              “Jumpy,” he said.

              “Sometimes.”

              “Yeah.  Me too.”

              With the shock passing, the queasiness in her stomach returned.  She needed to stop sidetracking and just say it.

              “I almost used my biotics,” she blurted out instead.

              “You’re can’t use them?”

              “Not until Miranda clears me.  The implant might be damaged, my cybernetic implants are still settling, and everything needs to heal before it can handle the metabolic load.”

              “I didn’t know.” He sighed and scanned her face. “How’re you feeling?”

              “Me?  Fine,” Shepard said. 

He held her eyes but didn’t say anything.  She rolled her lips then shrugged.

“Weird sometimes,” she admitted.

              “Weird?”

              “Off maybe?” Shepard leaned her elbows on the table.  “I don’t know.  Miranda says everything’s fine.”

              “But you feel ‘weird’?’”

              Shepard put her chin in her hands.  “How’s anyone supposed to feel being rebuilt twice?  It would probably be more wrong if I felt right.  I don’t know how to describe it.  It’s weird.  Like I shouldn’t be here, and my body knows it.”

              Kaidan frowned down at the table.  The breeze rustled his hair as seagulls called in the distance.  A shuttle passed low overhead.

              He looked up. “Did you feel like this before?  After Cerberus rebuilt you?”

              “No, but I didn’t have all these implants to jar up.  How much is messed up from actual physical trauma?  How much from that energy burst on the crucible?  I’m part synthetic and all the synthetics are gone.”  Shepard sat up taller and took a deep breath.  “Everything’s fine though.  Miranda says that what she put in for Cerberus is functioning.  Everything just needs time to settle down, heal.  Then we can introduce my biotics back.”

              “Shepard.”  He glanced around them before turning back to her.  “What happened up there?  Anderson, the Illusive Man …”

              Shepard focused on her hands.  She folded them in front of her on the table.

“Kaidan, you know what happened.”

              “Do I?  I know what I read.”  He searched her face.  “But from you … what happened?”

              Shepard’s throat tightened.  If she said it, told anyone about the choices, then it became true.  The Crucible’s decision was made, and there was no going back.  People knowing, so they could doubt and debate possible outcomes, wouldn’t change anything.  She’d debated all the options inside herself a million times over a hundred sleepless nights in the dark.  Whether she made the right choice on the Crucible was moot.  Nothing good came from people micro analyzing it.  In the end, the best choice was to never mention there being a choice.

 It was a weight around her neck though -- the geth extinction. Everyone suspected, but with the comm buoys and relays down, no one knew for sure whether all the geth were gone.  The other choices could have saved every lifeform.  The relays probably wouldn’t be in pieces.  Millions across the galaxy wouldn’t be stranded, starving, and reverting to savagery.  Shepard would live with her choice until her dying day.  It didn’t mean everyone else needed to. 

“Something happened up there, didn’t it, Shepard?” Kaidan asked.

He moved a hand toward hers then stopped.  He drew back and rested his hands in front of him on the table instead. 

“Shepard?”

“A lot happened,” Shepard said staring at her hands and listening to her heart beat.  She couldn’t doubt herself on this or every choice she’d ever made, that she was making, all of it, would crumble around her.

“It’s okay,” Kaidan said.  “I shouldn’t push you.  I wasn’t planning on asking about it.”

“Kaidan,” Shepard looked squarely at him.  “I want to tell you, but I can’t.  There was a decision to make.  I made it.  I’m … I’m still coming to terms with it.”

Kaidan gave a small smile.  “I’m sure you made the right decision, Shepard.”

“You don’t know that,” Shepard said sharply.

“Shepard …” He leaned over the table.

“Kaidan, stop,” Shepard said.  “You don’t know.”

Kaidan’s face tightened, but he didn’t lean back.

“Shepard, you got further than anyone else.”

“Don’t you think I know that?”

 “Just listen,” Kaidan said.  “Whatever the choice was, you’re the only one that made it far enough to find one.  The only option the rest of us had was destruction, the Reapers harvesting planet after planet, and everything we fought for these last years, all the people – Jenkins, Ash, Anderson – dying for nothing.  You brought everyone together, and that’s never happened.  And it all would’ve been for nothing, except that you made a decision.”  He swallowed and shook his head.  “Shepard, it doesn’t matter what the decision was, you made the right choice just by making one at all.”

Shepard stared at him.  He smiled.

“Maybe,” she said.  “I don’t know, but thanks.”

She smiled back, but at the same time, a heaviness settled in her chest, a bitterness in realizing where they were -- here on the Alliance patio, facing the future, and the return of reality.  She leaned back in her chair and snatched her cold coffee off the table.  She just needed something to focus on and hold.

“Anyway,” she exhaled.

Kaidan didn’t move and searched her face.  She had to stop procrastinating.  Make it light.  Make it natural.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I saw Garrus and Tali at the Dungeon.”

Kaidan’s eyes dropped, and he glanced away.

“Full circle, then?”  He pushed back in his chair.  “Continue.” He made a waving motion with his hand. 

Full circle?  ‘Ah, back to the uncomfortable tension as before’ is what he meant.

Shepard pushed on.  “Garrus talked to the primarch. He's stranded here, you know?  Anyway, he heard from a ship that heard from a ship that Palavan’s comm buoy is nearly up.  Palavan’s mass relay is likely on schedule with Sol’s if their buoy’s almost repaired.”

There was a dullness in Kaidan’s eyes now, as if she was talking about the weather to fill up time traveling with a stranger on an elevator.

“And?” he prompted.

“Garrus will return to Palavan. Probably still a year off.  Tali has plans on Rannoch.”

Kaidan nodded.  “Returning to your homeworld after so many generations has to be unbelievable.”

His words sounded sincere, but there was hesitation.  He seemed to be waiting for the punchline.

“Liara,” Shepard said.  “I’m sure she’s finding her contacts again.  Haven’t seen her much yet, but I imagine, she’ll probably go back to Illium or Thessia when the Relays are up.”

“Liara’s a good friend.  I think she worried about you as much as I did.  You should track her down.  It was a rough several months.  Hard on everyone, but some more than others.”

“She’s busy with Javik and his celebrity, but I’ll see her.  I’ll make it a priority.  And Joker too.”

“Joker …” Kaidan said.  “You know he’s not a big fan of mine.  I think the time on board just cemented that, but he’ll listen to you.  His dad and sister, EDI.  He needs someone.  I think he left Headquarters for a while though.”

“He’ll be back.  He just needs some time to clear his head.”

Kaidan gave a slow nod.

“So,” Shepard took a breath, “everyone is moving on.  All these futures we didn’t think we had or, at least, didn’t really consider.”

Kaidan sighed.  “This is a very long lead in.  Just say it.  I don’t need coddled.”

“Kaidan …”

“Just say what you mean, Shepard.  You always have before.”  He straightened in his chair.  “I love it about you.  I’m a big boy.  I can take it.”

Her eyes drifted to the birds soared over the ocean behind him.  Seagulls.

              Kaidan glanced behind at the birds then squared his gaze back on Shepard and prompted.  “Everyone is moving on.  Futures we didn’t think we had …”

              “Kaidan.  All right.”  No more distractions, procrastinations.  “When everything’s falling apart broken regs can be overlooked, forgiven.  But now?  Our relationship is common knowledge.  Neither of us knew we would both we standing at the end of the war.  The odds … The Alliance won’t turn a blind eye on it anymore.”

              “We’re Spectres.”

              “And Alliance officers.  The way things sit now, the council may be boss in name, but the Alliance calls the shots and has all the power.  The citadel orbits Earth now.  Play their cards right, the Alliance may stay on top.  Besides, Kaidan, the Council doesn’t give resources to Spectres.  You know that.  Without Alliance resources, all we have are name badges.”

              “The other races won’t let the Alliance dictate everything.”

              “It’s politics.  Closed doors.  Right now everyone’s on our court.  Set the foundation, it might stay that way, at least through our lifetime.  Besides, we’re both career soldiers.  It’s who I am.  It’s who you are, isn’t it?”

              “Yes.”

              “Yes,” Shepard repeated.  “You’re one of the best soldiers I know, Kaidan.  You’re an asset to the whole Alliance.  You’ve already risen up the ranks.  The higher, the more say you’ll have.  We need someone with integrity like you influencing the Alliance’s future.  And the brass like you.  With your background, skill in bioitics--”

              “You’re one of the most powerful bioitics I’ve seen, Shepard.  What you do with barriers, their impermeability, it’s astounding.”

              “Regardless of that.”  She wasn’t going to be diverted off topic.  “The Alliance, the Council, everything counts more than ever.  How we rebuild, how we lay the foundation for the future.  We’re both needed in different ways, and we can’t achieve anything without the Alliance.  As long as we’re Alliance soldiers, if we carry on, everything will all be taken away.”

              “Have you been reprimanded?”  Kaidan frowned.  “Did Admiral Hackett—”

              “No, not yet, but we’re high profile, Kaidan.  It’s not going to be swept under the rug.  It would be a reprimand conditional on a change of behavior, and if not heeded, court martial.  And that’s if court martial wasn’t to start with.  At best, being discovered would be a terrible blow to our career.  At worst, dishonorable discharges.  If they wanted to follow our relationship back to the days on Normandy SR-1, when we were in the same line of command and Virmire …”

              “We weren’t together before Virmire.”

              “We know that, but you think they’ll take our word on it?  They’ll subpoena our friends in the Alliance.  Joker’d be hauled in under oath.  He knows everything.”

              “Everything?”

              “A lot.  Adams, Cortez, Donnelly, Daniels, Dr. Chakwas, Vega, all the soldiers surviving the Normandy SR-1’s explosion who’re still alive, maybe even your biotic students.  They saw you kiss me in London.  Our hearing would have quite the roll call, and it would be big news.  Think of the situation we’d be putting our friends in, the media storm and slander, losing our jobs, disgraced.  What would your family think?”

              “They don’t know about us.”

              “They would after our disciplinary hearing gets front page,” Shepard said.  “What other option is there?  Just sneak around hoping we don’t get caught?”

              Kaidan stared down at the table.  “I don’t know.  Maybe …”

              “We’ll get caught.  Matter of time.  Guaranteed.  And what if we didn’t get caught?  Or the brass did decide to turn a blind eye, which they won’t, what then?  Sneak around forever?”

              “No, that’s not … I don’t want it to be that way, Shepard.”  He looked up at her.  “I just know I want to be with you.”

              “Sneaking around has no end game, Kaidan.  Best case, we put off the decision we should be making right now.  Ending things later won’t be any easier, it’ll probably be worse.  We can’t just sneak into each other’s rooms forever.  You’d start feeling guilty.  I’d be paranoid, hyperalert.”

              Kaidan sighed and rubbed a temple.  “That’s not what I want anyway.  We’re alive.  There’s a future.  I want something real.” 

              “Then sneaking around …”

              “Fine.  No, okay?”  He folded his arms and looked down again.

              “Okay.  Then, if we’re not sneaking around, and we’re not leaving the Alliance, those are the options.  And don’t leave the Alliance, Kaidan.”

              “I didn’t say I would.”

              “Good.” Shepard leaned forward to catch his eye.  He looked up with a frown.  Shepard forced a smile. “Hey.  I don’t want to see you hurt.  I don’t want to see everything you’ve earned taken away or given up.  Besides, there’s a need greater than either of us.  You on your path, me on mine.  We’re stronger that way.  Together, we’re an easy target and out of the game.  We accomplish nothing.”

              The breeze off the ocean picked up.  A salty mist hung in the air.  Kaidan’s eyes dropped to the table, and he tightened his arms across his chest.  They sat in silence except for the bird cries over the waves and the waxing and waning of passing shuttles. 

              Kaidan passed a hand over his face still staring at the table.  “I love you, Shepard.  I have for a long time.  I’ve only ever wanted to get to this moment – the Reapers defeated, both of us alive, the Normandy and everyone safe, the galaxy saved.  You saved it, Shepard.”  He let out a long breath and looked her in the eye.  “When the Normandy crashed, all I could think about was you.  Whether you were alive, in pain, alone.  Was anyone looking for you?  I knew I should be focusing on the crew, the problems, the solutions.  And I did.  We did all those things -- repair the ship, orient ourselves, plan our way back, fuel, food, survival -- but a part of me only wanted those things, so I could find you.  When I heard you were alive, I can’t even describe how I felt.  Being here with you now, it’s beyond the luckiest break anyone deserves.  Just to spend one more day with you after that day in London … I don’t need anything else.”

              Shepard tightened her fingers around the metal arms of her chair.  Later.  It was what she always told herself in these moments.  Think about it later or never.

              “Kaidan …”  She wasn’t sure what to say.

              “Don’t worry about it, Shepard.”  He stood up sliding his chair back and gave her a small smile.  “Just stay safe.  If you need anything …”

              Shepard returned a tight smile. “If you need anything too.  You know that.”

              He touched her shoulder as he passed.  “Take care, Shepard.”

              Then, he was gone.  Shepard scrambled to her feet.  She fumbled with her Omni-Tool and checked her calendar.  She always had a full schedule.  She needed a full schedule now more than ever.  She grabbed their cups off the table and dashed them into the garbage can as she rushed into the busy hall.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

**Chapter 2**

 

              Shepard waited for the door to open.  A dark sky filled the windows at the end of the hallway.  Dark windows always made her feel more awake.  On the ship, it was always dark.  Dark was normal.  It was the sunshine that burned away confidence and security.  The sliding doors opened, and Miranda stood in the doorway.

              “Shepard.  Come in.”

              Shepard strolled past her.  “Hey.”

              Miranda’s apartment looked more like a work area.  The tablets and blinking machine monitors illuminated the dark apartment.  A desk cluttered with papers and paused vids sat in the back of the room near the kitchen.

              “What’re you doing?”

              “The usual, Shepard.  Waiting for you.”

              “What?” Shepard spun around.  “Looks like you’ve been doing more than that.  Look at all this – all of that, those monitors, whatever that is.”

              “Neural tissue scanner.”

              “They let you bring that home?”

              “I’m repairing it.  Most of them don’t work anymore.  This one still has enough eezo to make it worth salvaging.”

              “Well,” Shepard said.  “If the Alliance would buckle down and stop those raids on the eezo facilities, there might be more leftover for medical use.  Sitting there in storage, just in case, is a damn waste.  It’s just a flashing sign to come take it.”

              “Classified eezo warehouses are hardly flashing signs, Shepard.” Miranda passed around her into the living room.

              “Granted.  Makes you wonder how they know about it then, right?”

              Miranda shrugged.  “How are your new quarters working out?”

              “Can’t complain.  Used to be a General Gies’s. A step up from my barracks on Arcturus, no question.  Probably one of the nicer rooms.”

              “Step up from a hospital bed or my couch too, I imagine.”

              “Miranda, your halfway house’s looking more and more like the hospital.  If I was on the couch now, I’d wake in a panic thinking I was still there.”

              Shepard wandered over to the desk.  She squinted at the monitor.  A map of neural connections blinked over the right hemisphere of a brain.

              “I like your art.”

              “Running scenarios.”  Miranda came up beside her.  “Lots of patients still suffering from what Cerberus did to them.  A lot still injured from the war.  Head injuries don’t just bounce back.  Not for most people anyway.”

              “Just need your Cerberus resources again.  You could rebuild everyone.”

              “The resources bringing even one dead person back is astronomical.  It’ll never happen again.  That knowledge’s lost.  Cerberus’s gone, and the crucible took care of the rest.  You only got off this time, because you weren’t brain dead.  Even I couldn’t have brought you back then.”

              “Once was enough.”

              Rains tapped on the window.  Streaks of water streamed down the outside of the glass.  Even with darkness, it still wasn’t like space.  Earth’s weather, seasons, wildlife is what home was to most humans, if they weren’t born on a colony like her.  Mindoir had solar storms, not rainclouds.  There was something a little tragic in thinking of someone finding rain a comforting, nostalgic sound.  If you joined the Alliance, you’d never hear it again except for trips home, once or twice a year. Better to be soothed by the soft bubbles of a fish tank.  At least, that could be with you in space.

              “You said you needed to see me?” Shepard asked.

              Miranda leaned over her desk rotating a 3D brain hologram. 

              “Oh, right,” she said and stood away from the desk.  “Just a quick scan.”

              She turned her Omni-Tool on.  Shepard held still.

              Miranda scanned a beam up her body.   “You’re so busy now.  It’s hard to even get a moment to—” Miranda stopped.  Her Omni-Tool glowed in Shepard’s face.  “This can’t be right.  Hold still, Shepard.”

              Miranda punched keys into her Omni-Tool.  The scan changed colors and brightened.  Shepard squinted into it.

              “Don’t move,” Miranda repeated.

              “I’m—”

              “Don’t talk.  Just hold still.”  Miranda lowered her Omni-Tool with a frown.  “Just hold on.”

              Miranda rushed to an end table by her couch.  She dug around in a plastic box and pulled out a data chip.  She snapped it into her Omni-Tool.  A screen popped by.  Her fingers scrolling through it as she wandered back.

              “Close your eyes this time, and hold your breath.  Don’t move.”

              “What’s this about, Miranda?”

              “Just do what I said, Shepard.”

              Shepard sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes.  She actually felt the scan this time, a tingling across her scalp.  A vague headache started to pulse.

              “There.  Done.  You can move.”

              Miranda pulled out the chip and walked to her desk’s computer.  The chip slid into the side slot on the monitor.  The brain image from before winked out, and lines and numbers slid across the screen.

              Miranda’s breath caught.  “No, no, no.”

              Shepard rushed over to her.  “What is it?  You’re worrying me.”

              Miranda spun around.  “Did you use your biotics?”

              Shepard hesitated.  “No, but …”

              “But?”

              “I almost did, but I stopped in time.  It wasn’t even enough to make a visible field appear over my skin.  That was this morning.  I haven’t felt any different.”

              “You feel perfectly fine?”

              “No changes.”

              Miranda hunched over the monitor.  “Your implant, not the Cerberus ones, your L3 implant, the readings are off.  Energy pulses, but slow ones.  Maybe not enough wave potential to disrupt any processes, too weak.” She looked over her shoulder at Shepard.  “I want to see you tomorrow.  First thing.”

              “How significant is this, Miranda?  What are we talking about here?”

              “I don’t know, Shepard,” Miranda said.  “I just know it’s abnormal.  I haven’t worked with L3 implants, but if it’s not acting normally it’s a risk.  Something’s wrong.”

              “You didn’t see this before on my scans?”

              “No, this is new.”

              Shepard shifted on her feet and frowned at the monitor.  “Okay.  I’ll come back in the morning then.  You think it’s because I reached out for it?”

              “Couldn’t say.  Seems likely though.  Just be careful.  Rest for the evening.  Go straight home.”

              “Oh.  Hmm …”

              “No ‘hmm,’ Shepard.”  Miranda pointed a finger at her.  “I mean it.  Don’t make all my work for nothing.”

              Shepard grinned at her.  “You should’ve removed that ‘free will’ design flaw you missed the last time.”

              “Don’t make me follow you home.  Just tell me you’ll go straight to your new pad, sleep, and come right back in the morning.  No diversions.”

              “Okay, I will.  I had plans, but I’ll cancel them.”

              Miranda sighed.  “I don’t actually need to see you canceling your plans in front of me, do I?”

              “I mean it,” Shepard said.

              The front door chirped.  It slid open.  A version of Miranda came in, younger and smiley with a less assured gait.

              “Ori.  Hi,” Shepard said.

              “Shepard,” Oriana stopped short with a widening grin.  “Not sleeping in the extra room again, are you?”

              “Not tonight.”

              “Good.  I mean  -- you can stay anytime.  It’s just, I’d have to clean it up, so you could get to the couch.”

              “Oriana is working on a sculpture.  A memorial.”

              “Really?  That’s great,” Shepard said.

              Oriana stood at the mouth of the hallway.  “It’s for the Summit next year.  One of the council staff saw my work in the memorial gardens, the fallen soldier statue.  Told the councilor, and he commissioned it.”

              “Councilor Mason?”

              “Heard he’s friendly to biotics.  You met him?” Miranda said.

              “A few times.  Wife died on the Tin Star, has two kids, both in the Alliance.  Biotics, I hear.”

              “Both of them?”

“Twins, I think.  Overall though, he’s focused on cooperation.  His priorities seem right.  Guess we’ll see when decisions start counting.”

              Oriana smiled and gave a little wave before turning down the hall. 

              “It’s a mess around here,” Oriana called back before disappearing into her room.

              Miranda’s lips curled up.  She glanced at Shepard.  “Things turned out much better than I thought.”

              “Looked pretty grim there,” Shepard said.  “What’s the sculpture actually of?”

              Miranda gave a sideways smile.  “You’ll see.”

              “Miranda.” Shepard stepped in closer.  “If you really want me to rest well tonight, you’ll assure me I’m not part of that sculpture.”

              “Of course not.”

              “Okay.  Good.”

              “Your clone though …”

              Shepard stared at Miranda’s blank face.  Unreadable. 

“I honestly don’t know if you’re yanking my chain,” Shepard said.

              “A joke,” Miranda said.  “I honestly don’t know what it is.  Oriana’s still dreaming up the possibilities.”

              “If you can, try to direct those possibilities away from my direction.”

              “We’ll see how well you follow orders to go straight home and rest.”

              “Deal,” Shepard agreed.

 

* * *

 

              Shepard called Liara on her Omni-Tool.  She strode down the Alliance HQ hallway to her room.

              “Shepard, I’m sorry.”  Liara’s voice came through the earpiece.  “I’m behind schedule, but I’m almost ready.”

              “Hey, don’t worry about it.  I’m actually glad to hear that.  Miranda grounded me.  Mandated flat on bunk time.”

              Liara’s voice heightened.  “Is something the matter, Shepard?”

              “Just something off on a scan, one of my implants.  I feel fine though.  Too much time and money invested to let a malfunctioning implant stop me.”

              Liara didn’t say anything for a moment.  “I’m not sure, Shepard.  I could be important.  Check with me tomorrow.  I want to know how you’re feeling.”

              “Don’t worry.”

              An exasperated sigh.

              “I’ll call you tomorrow,” Shepard agreed.

              “Very well.  Don’t forget, Shepard.”

              Liara’s voice blipped out in her ear.  Shepard removed the earpiece and stopped in front of her apartment door.  She’d managed to be busy all day, but now she had to fall asleep.  She’d listen to music then.  She popped the earpiece back into her ear and stepped inside.  Anything but silence.

* * *

 

 

              Shepard opened her eyes.  Pale light streamed through the wall-sized window in in the sunken sitting area across from her.  She’d fallen asleep after all.  She sat up in bed and gazed around the studio apartment.  Her clock read 0450.  The sun came up early this time of year.  In the middle of the bed, her Omni-Tool’s earpiece pulsed with faint music.   She’d listened late into the night, thrashing in bed, kicking off blankets, thinking and trying not to think.  She had slept better before some of her worst missions.  A weight settled over her.  She hadn’t been alone those nights. 

              She climbed out of bed and put the earpiece away in her Omni-Tool.  She was already losing the burst of readiness she’d had a waking.  The implant could be acting up, giving her this sapped feeling.  She felt fine, otherwise, physically.  No, this wasn’t anatomical.  It was a familiar feeling.  It always felt a little different.  She’d lost her parents on Mindoir, comrades on Akuz, lost so many -- Ashley, Mordin, Thane.  Those should hurt deeper than whatever this was.  There wasn’t death here.  Everyone was alive.  Everyone was happy, or would be happy with time.

              She splashed water on her face.  The scars were almost imperceptible now.  No one would guess the state she’d be in, pulled from the charred remains of the citadel.  Miranda did good work.

              A blinking light on her terminal reflected in the bathroom mirror.  She walked through the doorway to her desk and brought up her messages.  It was an appointment request with Admiral Hackett, her first official meeting in weeks.  He wanted something.  She might actually have a direction again, something worth getting done.  The appointment was a week out.  She accepted it.  Let it be a good sign. 

             

* * *

 

              Miranda was dressed and waiting for her when Shepard arrived at her apartment.  Shepard buzzed the door.   Miranda stepped out into the hallway, even as the door was still sliding open.

              “Let’s go.  I want to use the hospital scanner,” Miranda said and started off down the hall.  “How’re you feeling?”

              “Normal.”

              It was early enough that the hospital had a hollow and quiet feeling, like a ghost town.  Their footsteps echoed down the hallway ahead of them.  Lights flicked on as they entered the scan room.

              “Lie down, Shepard, and stay still.”

              “Is there a scan where I’m not still?”  Shepard hopped onto the metal table and lay down.

              “The machine is going to cover the upper part of your body.  This will take a little while.”

              “Have any reading material?” Shepard peeked down at Miranda. 

Miranda stood in the doorway, hand on her hip, and frowned. 

“Eh,” Shepard revised.  “Probably wouldn’t like the reading material you had anyway.”  She settled her head back on the metal tray.  “Pillows?”

              “If you’re done,” Miranda sighed.  “We’ll start the scan.”

              Shepard stuck a thumb with a thumbs-up.  Miranda sighed and the door closed.  The machine moved over her and flashed on the other side of her eyelids.  Body aching and stiff, it finally stopped humming and retracted.  Shepard opened her eyes.  The door to the scan room slid open.

              “We have different definitions of ‘a little while,’ Miranda.”  Shepard sat up, back cracking.

              “Of course, we do, Shepard.” Miranda strolled through the doorway reading a datapad.  “You’re impatient.  That’s why you’re a soldier, not a scientist.”

              “Uh huh,” Shepard stretched.  “That’s the only thing holding me back from the Nobel in science.”

              “There isn’t a Nobel for ‘science,’ Shepard.  You seem to accomplish whatever you set your mind to, though, if you can be patient enough.”

              “I get a lot of complaints on my shuttle driving.”

              “That, I believe.”

              “There are too many navigation steering systems.”

              “If you’re patient, you could learn the common ones.”

              “If you’d brought me right reading material when I asked, I would’ve had time to learn them all.”

              Miranda gave her a flat look.  She turned her attention back to the datapad.

              “Really though,” Shepard said.  “I couldn’t do what you do.  A soldier and scientist.”

              “It’s almost like I’d been engineered to be perfect.” Miranda looked up under her eyelashes at Shepard.

              “Job well done, I say.”

              Shepard hopped off the tray.  Her legs wobbled under her.  She clutched the edge of the tray. 

              “You could feel a little dizzy,” Miranda said.

              Shepard steadied herself.  “Aren’t you supposed to say that before I stand up?  You want all your patients flat on their asses?”

              “I’m a scientist, not a doctor.”

              Miranda walked over and handed her the datapad.  Shepard squinted at the lines of text on the screen. 

              “This means nothing to me.”

              “Right there.” Miranda pointed at the bottom line. “No abnormalities.  It’s clean.  Whatever was there last night resolved.”

              Shepard shoved the datapad back at Miranda.  “It’s because I rested myself so well.”

              “Because _I_ made you rest yourself so well.”

              “Same thing.” Shepard tested her legs then crossed to the door.  “Hey, Miranda.  You’re very thorough, and I appreciate it.”

              “Thank you, Shepard.  Just say that instead next time.”

              “I’ll try to remember.”

              Shepard walked out the door.  She didn’t need to consult her schedule to know she had Council meetings all day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The council discussed the mass relays extensively. Too extensively. Shepard leaned sideways on her chair's armrest. She was just one face in an audience, but someone would probably still catch her if she closed her eyes. The councilors sat at a long table in the center of the stage. Amphitheater-like seats rose up in a half circle around the floor. They could cram a lot of people in here – diplomats, ambassadors, Alliance, her. Always her.

Daily council meetings were open session. Come one and all. And usually it was one or all. Most days, only the first three or four rows were full. Then a hot topic would get headlined, and the room bulged beyond capacity. It probably violated some fire code. Pretty much, attendees were either fighting sleep or suffocation. She knew it too well. She'd been here practically every day for months. She should have her own parking spot. This chair was good enough though. Fourth row. She could graffiti her name on the armrest. It'd give her something to do.

"The commercial ships have never been charged," a volus said from the lectern on one side of the council stage.

"We never had to repair the relays before," said an asari opposite him.

"How would these licenses be policed?" Tevos, the asari councilor, asked from the table.

Sparatus, the turian councilor, leaned forward in his chair and folded his hands on the desk. The salarian councilor stared over the heads in the crowd with a pinched expression. He always looked that way though. He might be more bored than she was during these meetings. Councilor Mason though, bobbed his head giving the asari on stage an encouraging smile. He was nicer than Shepard could be. But then, a politician had to be to balance friendship with the Alliance, other races, and the other councilors. He probably wasn't pro-Alliance enough to satisfy the Alliance brass though.

Shepard gazed down at a row of heads in the front row. Some of them were flight admirals. Apparently, the Alliance's upper crust had nothing better to do than listen to talk on mass relay tariffs. The galaxy lay in rubble, and the Alliance and council spent their days in details and gridlock. The real stuff, the important stuff, didn't seem to make the agenda when there were such pressing matters like commercial trade laws or credit security planning. This wasn't worth her time. Flight Admiral Dumas must have felt her eyes on his profile. He twisted and met her gaze with narrowing eyes. Shepard looked away.

The asari gripped the lectern and raised her voice. "The relays are costing an exorbitant sum of resources, manpower, and spacecrafts. We're making up half of it as we go. Without the keepers who survived the citadel, we'd be totally lost. And, the problems in its reconstruction? It's costing the council and the alliance more every day. If the merchants benefit from restoring the relays, the costs needs to be shared."

"It's our commercial sector that's hurting the most," the volus said. "Intergalactic commerce is dead on its feet. Eezo, Medigel, basic things are running out. If the Council wants resources shared between systems, you need commerce. You'll drive it into the ground this way. This whole war has been an economic nightmare."

It seemed like a pretty tame nightmare. Apparently, he wasn't waking up panting from a banshee stabbing him through his chest or watching as a crewmate stood frozen with a brute hurtling toward him. It was always too late. She was always too far away, her biotics just out of range. She'd arrive firing her gun as the brute swung around with a crumbled body sliding down the wall behind him in a blood streak. She'd take economic nightmares instead any night of the week. _Oh no! Last quarter's discretionary budget didn't balance. Code red, everyone, code red._ The terror.

The volus turned to the councilors. "The traffic jam alone, councilors. Stopping every ship—"

"They could submit a license number to a control ship," the asari said. "Fast, electronic, reflexive after a time."

The volus leaned forward on the lectern. "And what do we charge? Based on occupancy, merchandises, ship size? Who's policing it? C-Sec? Who issues the licenses?"

Shepard's elbow slipped off the armrest. She jolted upright. She glanced around, but everyone watched the asari councilor as she stood up from the table.

"This creates a whole new infrastructure to oversee at a time we are barely starting to rebuild," Tevos said. "We need resources shared. The economy to rise again. The smaller star clusters—"

A chair creaked behind Shepard.

"Commander Shepard, right?" someone whispered.

Shepard glanced behind her. The man hadn't been there earlier. He sat on the edge of the seat directly behind her and flashed a canine smile. Dark hair slicked back from his forehead like the feathers on head of a falcon. A scar crossing his eyebrow left a bald patch that looked barely healed. He wore an Alliance uniform.

"Yes?"

"Lieutenant Commander Bram Anchor."

He offered his hand over her shoulder. Shepard twisted and gave it a quick pump. A sigh came from the Alliance Operations Chief sitting on her left. He frowned at them. Anchor narrowed his eyes at the back of the chief's head then turned back to Shepard with a smile.

He leaned in closer. "Glad we're meeting, Commander. Heard good things about you."

Shepard wrinkled her brow. He didn't look familiar. The name meant nothing to her.

"I'll be on leave for a few weeks," Anchor continued. "Wanted to make sure we met though. Admiral Hackett said you'd be here."

Anchor glanced back at the exit and gave her a quick nod before standing up. Shepard peered up at him.

"What's this about?" she asked.

He bent down to her ear. "See you on the Normandy, Commander."

He ducked into the aisle and disappeared into the recessed shadows at the back. A door opened and closed. The Operations Chief glanced over again. Shepard gave a weak smile and turned back to the council stage, back to the relays, commerce, credits. There was no way she was keeping her mind on that now. The Normandy …

* * *

 

Shepard stopped in her tracks. A turien collided into her. His datapad rattled to the hallway floor as people streaming around them.

"Look what you're doing," he snapped then paused as he looked into her face. His eyes widened. "Wait. You're Commander Shepard. Sorry about that. Wasn't looking where I was going."

He snatched his datapad off the floor and rushed around her. Shepard drew her eyes away from him and stared down the hall. It was Joker. He sat on the other side of a glass wall in a pub. Shepard shot forward with a grin. She darted to the glass wall's open doorway and rounded the corner into the pub. Joker hunched over a table next to the plane of glass. Alliance's HQ hallway swarmed on the other side with people heading home or setting out for dinner.

"Joker."

He snapped his head up.

"You didn't tell me you got back to headquarters." She dragged a chair out from under the table and flopped down. The table wobbled, and Joker clutched his drink with a frown. Shepard darted a look under the table with a grunt. "Damn table. Last time I was here—"

"Yeah, sure, take a seat, Commander. Thanks for asking."

Shepard cocked her head with a lopsided frown. She sat back in her chair and waved at him.

"When did you get back?"

Joker adjusted his ratty baseball cap with one hand. He clutched the mug of beer against the stains on a frayed-collared band T-shirt. His bearded needed trimmed.

"You okay?" Shepard asked.

Joker shrugged and kept his eyes down. "Why wouldn't I be? I'm alive. All that matters, right?" He took a deep drink from his mug.

"Uh huh. Might be just me, but you don't look like you're doing too hot, Joker."

"What? Cause I didn't report into you the moment I hopped off the shuttle?"

Shepard scooted her chair in and steadied the table. She folded her hands on top.

"Do you want to get something to eat? You drinking that on an empty stomach?"

"No." He took a drink again. "The first one was on an empty stomach. This one? This one's definitely not on an empty stomach."

"Yeah. Cute."

Joker thudded the cup down in front of him. He fixed his eyes on the table and ran a finger around the mug's handle. Shepard didn't say anything. Something upbeat played overhead. A human woman passed in the hall and gawked at Shepard. Ah, the life of celebrity. The faster she was away on the Normandy the better, if that's what was happening.

"So …" Joker gestured expansively slouching back in his chair. "You have something you wanted to say? You tracked me down."

"I was just walking down the hall and saw you."

"Walking down the hall to where?"

"To my apartment. You know how late it is? You don't have somewhere you need to be in the morning?"

"What apartment? Admiral Anderson have an apartment here too? You get his bank codes and shuttle keys, too, this time?"

"Not Admiral Anderson. Apartment in the barracks. A lot of open quarters now."

"Nice quarters?"

"A general's quarters. So, yeah."

"General, huh? Taking it then, he's either dead or … or, if he's not, then he's pretty damn happy. Probably goes against regs cohabitating and such. But then, we know how much of a stickler you are for those anyway."

Shepard stood up knocking against the table. "That's enough."

"Now, Kaidan wasn't promoted to general while I was gone, right? Cause that would explain a lot."

"Enough. I'm a commanding officer. I like you, Joker, but you're out of line."

People at the bar turned around on their stools and frowned at them.

Shepard grabbed the back of her chair and leaned down with a quieter voice. "I know you're grieving over EDI. Maybe you think no one else cares, I don't know, but this isn't the way to go about it. Pull yourself together. EDI's memory deserves better than this."

Shepard pushed off against the back of the chair and left. The group at the bar stared as she passed. Maybe they recognized her. Maybe it was just the outburst. Shepard frowned over her shoulder at the bar and continued down the hallway.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Shepard sat with a heavy thud on the edge of her bed. Blackness blinded her window. She looked at her clock. She should feel tired. She should have recorded that argument over commerce and the relay. It would work better than any lullaby. The door buzzed. Shepard frowned and glanced at the clock again. She got up and crossed around the sunken sitting area. She opened the front door. Liara smiled.

"Shepard, you're all right?"

Shepard's eyes widened. "Liara, hey."

"I know it's late. You didn't check in with me. I got worried."

"Oh." Shepard remembered. "Right. Sorry. Come in."

Liara passed by her. She strolled into room just above the first step down to the couches. She glanced around at the kitchenette and bed before turning to the living room. Three couches horseshoed a coffee table facing a wall sized window dark with the night sky. Admittingly, it had a pretty posh sized view for being military barracks. Her window on Arturus had been little more than a porthole, and she's had a bunkmates to share the common area.

"This is nice, Shepard. I didn't realize they would give you such nice quarters."

"Lucky vacancy. Staff commanders don't usually get quarters like this."

"Being the first human Spectre and savior of the galaxy must fill some of the qualifications."

"I did put them on the application." Shepard grinned and strolled over to her.

Liara turned to her. "I was worried. How are you feeling?

"I'm sorry I forgot. I did mean to get back to you." Shepard ushered her down the steps to the couches. "Everything's clear. Whatever Miranda saw is gone. I'm perfectly normal."

"You're hardly normal, Shepard."

Shepard rounded the couch directly facing the window and flopped back. She patted the seat next to her.

"Things going well with Javik?"

Liara lowered herself stiffly onto the couch. "I think I'm no longer the only one getting a new view on protheans. If not for the war, he'd be the biggest story of the millennia."

"He probably both hates and expects to be the biggest story of the millennia."

"And, how are _you_ liking it, Shepard?"

"Being the biggest story of the millennia?" Shepard studied her hands. Her calluses were fading. "I'd rather be a footnote on page eight, I think, than the headliner."

"What you did, Shepard, was astounding. If people are in awe, it's because they see that in you."

"I appreciate that, Liara." Shepard smiled. She leaned back deep into the couch cushions. "What about your other 'stuff?'"

"Being the shadow broker, you mean? It's challenging with the comm buoys down. Even most of my local contacts have gone dark."

"I imagine. We're in a hell of a state. Rebuilding from the war's going to be more work than fighting it."

"You don't believe that." Liara scooted back hesitantly then relaxed back into the cushions next to Shepard.

"Comm buoy's almost up," Shepard said. "The relay hit some snag. It'll be a year, at least. You heard about the Summit, right? For next year?" Liara shrugged. Shepard put her hands behind her head. "Supposed to make all these important decisions, get everyone together, decide things before the relay's up and everyone breaks. Gets me why the hell they think they need to wait. If there are important decisions, just get on making them."

"Shepard, there's a lot more information and voices to add. Once we start communicating with Thessia, Palavan, Sur Kesh, others again, the important decisions may change."

"You're not wrong," Shepard agreed, "but there are still decisions we could make right now."

"You've been going to the council meetings, correct? You aren't pushing for those decisions to be made?"

Shepard exhaled a long, hissing breath. "No."

"Why not? If you—"

"It's their arena, not mine. I'm a ship captain, not a politician."

"Why would the Alliance have you attending all the meetings then? They don't request your input during the discussions?"

"Sometimes. I've said things here and there. If they call on me, I pop up, say my piece. But, I've made enough decisions for everyone. Who even knows if the decisions I made were the right ones? Or the best ones? All that matters is that they're made. Now it's everyone else's turn. I'm sitting out on the rest."

Shepard stared out the window. Liara put a hand on Shepard's knee.

"You've made good decisions, Shepard. Curing the krogans, reconciling the quarians and the geth."

"Geth?" Shepard swallowed. "After the crucible fired, they all died. You know that, right?"

"We're not sure yet, and you couldn't have known. We needed to defeat the reapers. Whatever it cost, it had to be done, Shepard. It isn't your fault."

Shepard sat in silence for a moment. She took a deep breath.

"It doesn't need to be rehashed. The Alliance has thrown me at the council, and if they want, I have stuff to say. Always do, but I just want to be in space. On the Normandy. Meetings and backroom politics be damned."

Liara folded her hands in her lap. "Have they said how they're going to use you?"

"I meet with Admiral Hackett next week. We'll see. I can't just go from meeting to meeting shaking hands, Liara. Hell, it's killing me. I'm useless."

"You're not useless, Shepard. Far from. They just don't know how to use you yet."

"Hope they figure it out then."

The moon hung in the corner of the window. The stars spanned out around it. A light in the east shinned brightest. The citadel, once the center of intergalactic rule, now broken wreckage, just a bright light orbiting Earth's night sky.

"Makes you ponder things, doesn't it? The sky?" Liara turned her head on the cushion to look at Shepard. "In Thessia, we have two moons, one bigger than the other. It takes up almost the whole night sky. At least, it felt like it when I was a child. Mother would tell me about space travel. I couldn't imagine it then. I'd never been off planet. Now she's gone, and I've been off planet more than I've been on it and Thessia's a different place than I remember. Last time we were there - the destruction. You must feel the same way about Earth and the colonies. Horrifying knowing you'll never see it look like home again."

"You'll live a long time, Liara. You'll rebuild. See it flourish again."

"It won't be the same. It's changed, but so have I."

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, we've all changed."

"Yes. I know it isn't just me."

Silence hung around them. For once, silence wasn't bothering her. The quiet, the moon, the stillness – it wouldn't always be her enemy. Maybe she just needed more of this, time with the people she cared about. Soon enough, they'd all be shattered like stars, gone different ways. She'd lost so many already. Even Anderson was gone. It was starting over again - unfettered, no ties, like each beginning, the people that mattered to her reduced to transparent vid sessions, crossing paths only deliberately, or never.

"We'll keep in touch, Shepard."

Liara's eyes glimmered in the lamp light, and she smiled. Liara couldn't read minds but that felt damn close. They had mind melded more than once. Though, it wasn't really a mind meld in any true sense, more a controlled exchange of data and memory. The shared memory before the final battle had been brief and shallow but meaningful. Liara had only crested the surface of her mind. She couldn't know Shepard's thoughts. She certainly couldn't know things Shepard didn't even consciously know herself. Yet, Liara's eyes searched Shepard's with a sad smile spreading beneath.

"I know we'll keep in touch," Shepard turned her eyes back to the window, "but things will never be like they were. Just the cost of moving forward."

The image of them stretched back against the couch reflected back at her in the dark window.

Liara shifted next to her. "Asari live longer than most races. Losing others? It's something you grow up accepting. For a human though, time must mean much more."

"I don't know. Loss is loss. Can you really get used to it? Hurts each time, and that's normal. You think it feels worse than before, but you probably don't remember how bad it really hurt all the other times because memories fade. In the end, it heals and fades away too, and in the future, you won't even be able to recall how bad it hurt in this moment."

Shepard's hands dropped from cradling her head. She wished she had a drink in her hand. She intertwined her fingers in her lap instead. Liara reached over and covered Shepard's hand with hers.

"Shepard. Have you seen Kaidan?"

"Kaidan?" Shepard frowned. "Of course. You were there."

"You know I don't mean that. I mean, have you talked to him?"

"It's funny. He told me to talk to you."

"Yes, I …" Liara paused. "We had a lot of time on the Normandy. To talk. I realized things about him. Saw him in ways I hadn't before."

Shepard shifted on the couch. "Are you trying to tell me something, Liara? You and Kaidan—"

"No! No, Shepard." Liara bolted upright and turned wide eyes to her. "Nothing like that, I assure you. I know humans can be very jealous. If I inadvertently implied—"

"Jealous?"

"No, I'm not—That is, I don't mean to offend you, Shepard. By the Goddess, I'm saying the wrong thing, I know. Even after so long with humans, I still say the wrong thing."

"It's fine, Liara."

"I know, but if I—"

"I'm not offended," Shepard assured.

"Good," Liara paused. "I think you mean it."

"Of course, I do."

Liara's nodded slowly and relaxed her back. "I only meant to say that I think we, Kaidan and I, understood each other. I think he's a good person, and I think we found we had something in common."

Shepard tucked her hands under her arms and shrugged. She looked over at Liara.

"I'm glad you got on so well. Heard there were a lot of raw nerves, people grating on each other."

"Yes, of course. An intense time. So much unknown."

"Sure," Shepard said. "A long time, small ship, anxiety high. Bound to ignite tempers. Had to be rough."

"Yes, but you aren't answering my question. If it's inappropriate, you can tell me. It's only because I care that I ask, but I don't want to pry where I shouldn't."

Shepard sighed, tipped her head back against the cushions, and looked up at the ceiling. In the corner of Shepard's vision, Liara looked away.

"Forget I said anything, Shepard."

"Yes, we talked," Shepard said.

"Then you and Kaidan …"

"There is no 'me and Kaidan.'" Shepard pushed up off the couch. "There's me. Period. Kaidan. Period."

"I see."

"I know you care, but I can't talk about it." Shepard walked to the window, leaned a hand against the wall, and looked out.

"I understand. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It is what it is. I just … there's nothing to say."

"That's all right." Liara smoothed down the front of her jacket and stood. "I should leave. I'm glad everything was clear on Miranda's scan. Let me know if things change. We should still try Angelo's sometime."

"That's right. Yes."

Shepard walked Liara to the front door.

"I'll see you later, Shepard."

"Bye, Liara."

Once she was alone again, Shepard strolled over to her bed and sat. She sighed and hunched forward digging her fingers into her hair. It shouldn't be possible to be so tired and not be sleepy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 

“Admiral.”  Shepard saluted.

“Take a seat, Commander.” Admiral Hackett gestured to the leather chair in front of his desk.  “How are things?”

“They ... there’s a lot of meetings.”  Shepard came around the chair and sat.

Hackett lowered himself into his chair with a sigh.  “I know.  We’ve made you a regular at every meeting big or small.  I can imagine how it feels being a soldier and attending months of back to back meetings.”

Shepard shrugged but kept a smile on.  Hackett leaned forward across his desk.

“I haven’t talked to you much about the next step, where you go from here.”

“I knew there was probably an angle, sir.”

“The Relays are a year out.  Sol, Arcturus.  You heard about the cracked Mass Effect shard?  Attempts to synthesize a new one, they’re not going well.  We’re fielding other options. Until the Sol relay’s functional again and travel resumes, resouces’ll stay short.  The focus is on rebuilding and preparing for the infrastructure of the future.  Earth has never hosted the people we have today.  I imagine it never will again.  The Alliance and council sharing one roof, it’s historic, and the meetings you’ve gone to?  There’ll never be an opportunity like this again.”

“I understand, sir,” Shepard said but wrinkled her brow.

“The Summit next year is going to decide a lot of things.  We need to be prepared and think long term.  There are pieces we haven’t figured out yet.  We’ll need help aligning them.  Nothing decided, but we do know you’ll be part of bringing those pieces together, not just in the board room either.”

“Sir?”

“The Normandy.  It’s what you’ve wanted.  I know it.”

Shepard straightened in her seat and tried to keep her voice cool.  “I’ve been through a lot with her, sir.”

The Normandy.  The Normandy was exactly what she needed.  It’s what she’d been missing and why she felt so adrift and lost.  The loss of the Normandy hollowed her, but now … She just needed her feet planted firmly on the deck again to find that barring again.

“She was crippled,” Hackett said.  “Losing the Cerberus’s VI software gutted her.  The damaged she sustained from the crash and traveling that long was considerable.  She’s under repair.  The makeshift fuel recycling from flotilla technology was brilliant.  We have quarians drawing up more serious schematics.  It will be properly retrofitted.  A lot of resources sinking into this one and time too, but worth it.  The flotilla technology has its drawbacks, but it will be necessary for deep space travel.  Get beyond the edge of the sol system, there’s not much to help you along.”

“What’s in deep space, sir?”

“No solid plans.  That can be a conversation for later.  The Alliance Parliament has ideas.  The Council too, but that will come later.  For now, you can start thinking about a crew.  The VI system is gone, but you’ll have a skilled pilot.  I think you know him.”

Shepard grinned.  Even if Joker was distempered, it was just one more piece to the whole.  With the Normandy, things would be back in order again.

“Thank you, sir.”

“I know you work well together.  And I think it’s important to have a familiar face, even more so when you’ve been through what you’ve been through.”

“I appreciate that, sir.”

“You’ve met Lieutenant Commander Anchor, too.  I believe he talked to you in the council chamber.  Unfortunately, there was some prearranged leave so he couldn’t meet you more formerly.  He’ll be your XO.  He’ll be back in a month or so and you can meet him again then.”

“Are you familiar with him?”

“Uh, no.  He has a good track record with the Alliance.  He served groundside on Earth during the war.  He has connections.  I think Parliament would like to give him his own command, but we’re limited with ships and resources, so that won’t happen.  Not until the Relays come back up anyway.  For now, he’ll be working under you.  I’ll give you access to his records.  I’m sure you’re curious.  Other than that, I will let you fill the crew as you wish.  Alliance crew.  It’s not like war time.  Back to the rules and ways we did them before.”

“Understood, sir.”

“That’s all.”

Shepard gave one solid nod and stood up.  “Thank you, Admiral.”

“Commander … just one thing.”

Shepard paused.  Hackett looked away for a moment.  He tapped a pen against the desk before sighing and shifting his gaze back to her.  His tone softened.

“Shepard.  You do know what I mean when I say that things here on out, across the board, they go back to how they were before this mess?  We’ve had years of chaos.  No one blames someone for mistakes made under that pressure.  The pressure you were under, your crew was under, it was enough to break most soldiers.  But now, the war is over.  Everything is being set right again.  Order, chain of command, conduct.”  He gave her a level look.  “It matters now.  Be careful.  Know the repercussions of your actions.  You’re a good soldier, maybe the best we have, but you’re still an Alliance soldier.  You’re held to the same standards as the rest, maybe more so for the model you would be.  I trust you will make good decisions for yourself, your career.  I just want to be clear on the expectations.  You understand what I’m saying, Commander?”

Shepard released a tight breath.  “Of course, sir.  I expect no less.”

“Dismissed then, soldier.”  Hackett stood up and saluted her.  “I will send you information on the ship, possible crewmen.  The ship is under construction.  When it’s ready to be boarded, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Thank you, sir.”  Her hand snapped an unsteady salute.  She dropped it fast and turned on her heels.

When the door slid shut behind her, she gave his assistant a tight smile and rushed across the reception room to the hall.  She had the Normandy back.  That’s what she needed to remember.

 

* * *

 

Shepard spent weeks walking the decks of the Normandy.  True, the Normandy was grounded in a docking bay.  It wasn’t shooting through space, but that was still hell of a lot closer to where she needed to be than she had been in a year.  When she’d stood on the crucible staring the end in the face, she’d never imagined being here again, on this deck, this ship.  Now, here she was.  Everything was almost back to right.  Shepard just had to get her in the sky again.

A stuffy dustiness hit her as she came into her cabin.  The cleaning crew would be coming through later, and she needed to face it.  Nothing had moved.  Her datapads scattered across her desk in the same arrangement as the day she left them.  A sharpie and highlighters lay against the stack of paperwork on the desk’s back corner.  Her coffee mug, the coffee long since evaporated, sat on top.  It left a brown ring on the top folder when she moved it. 

Her fish must be dead.  The water stagnated with an empty murkiness.  At least the dead fish had been cleaned out.  That would have been unpleasant.  Her hamster was gone too.  Dead presumably.  She’d get another though and more fish.  It would be the same again.

She ran her hands across her desk, shifted some datapads, and dragged her fingers along the cool glass of the fish tank as she stepped down by her bed.  The bed was unmade.  She twisted away to face the clear display case of model ships looming above the couch.  A bottle of wine stood half empty on the table next to an empty glass.  The other wine glass lay on its side under the table.  Shepard picked it up.  Something caught her eye.  Light bounced off a small piece of metal in the couch.  Shepard tapped the wine glass down on the table and reached into the cushions.  Her fingers touched a cool piece of metal, and she held it up in the light. 

A silver button.  It gleamed with a glossy silver finish.  Light blinked through the four holes in the center as she turned it over in her fingertips.  It was from an older issue Alliance uniform.  A year before the war, the buttons had changed to a frosted, gold-rimmed silver along with adding shoulder clips and adjusted stitch color.  Shepard squeezed her hand around the button and let it dig into her palm.  It wasn’t from one of her uniforms.  Her uniforms were all new from when she was reinstated during the war.  It wasn’t hers.  She opened her fingers. A wisp of broken thread stuck to the pink indent in her palm.  Miranda was right.  She was always too rough, too impatient.  She let out a tight breath.  She held it in her fist as she gazed around the room.

It was amazing the room had been left untouched.  All those months trapped on a ship growing smaller by the minute, but it was as if no one had come here.  No one had stayed here. The bed had the same sheet, same pillow cases, and the covers were still folded back on both sides.  Everyone must have continued to bunk together in the crew rooms.  Kaidan had taken command of the ship for months.  Hell, he’s probably commanded it longer than she had since being reinstated with the Alliance, but he clearly hadn’t stayed here.   Maybe it had too many memories.  Maybe it had too many memories for her.  But this was her ship again, she wouldn’t be haunted by fading memories.

She rolled the silver button in her palm and walked to the disposal bin.  She opened the lid and held out it over the bin.  The cleaning crew was serving the ship tonight.  It would be taken out before she came back.  If she turned her palm over, just one quick motion, it would be gone.  She wouldn’t even need to upend her palm, a slight tilt would be enough.  She looked at the trash bin and curled her fingers around the button.  She slipped it into her pocket.

She straightened her shoulders and looked around the room.  There were things needing to be done.  She was wasting time lingering here.  She had a new crew to recruit and train.  It was time to focus ahead not behind.  It was okay to remember though, just once in a while.

 

* * *

 

Joker hunched over his knees on a bench outside the docking bay.  He didn’t look up as Shepard came off the loading bridge and neared.  He had to have heard the door open into the terminal.  He certainly would hear her footsteps across the vinyl hallway.  Maybe he was hoping that she’d continue on before needing to exchange words.  She could walk right past, play along too, and pretend she hadn’t seen him.  She stood in front of him.

“Jeff.”

He looked up with pinched features.  A ruddy roughness mottled his skin, but he’d trimmed his beard and his Alliance uniform was pressed.  The buttons on his collar caught the light.  The gold rims flashed.  His uniforms probably weren’t much older than hers since they’d both been reinstated after their stint in Cerberus.  Most soldiers probably had the older uniforms though.  Really, the silver button could be anyone’s.

She slipped down next to him on the bench.  She hunched down beside him and folded her hands in front of her.  Beyond the terminal’s glass windows, the Normandy’s hull gleamed in the overhead lights of the enclosed docking bay.

“Need to just go on,” Joker murmured.  “Awkward first day if I put it off.  Probably do something to get myself hugged.”

“The horror.  They might even squeeze.”

“Uh, you try getting a pity hug from the copilot and sitting next to him every day.  It makes things weird.”

“Right.  Since hogging the piloting duties and redoing his flight plans doesn’t make things weird.”

He shrugged.  Shepard sat for a moment longer then got to her feet.

“No one’s aboard.  Cleaning crew isn’t due for a few hours.  You’re cleared as a crew member.  Get on whenever you want.”

He didn’t say anything as he stared at the floor at his feet.  Shepard backed up with a sigh and started down the hall.

“Hey, Commander.”

Shepard turned.  Joker didn’t look up but his head tilted in her direction.

“See you on board,” he said.

“Later, Joker.”

She walked down the hall slipping a hand into her pocket.  Her fingertips found the silver button.  It had to be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 

Shepard’s eyes blurred as she recapped a sharpie and tossed it across the desk.  She’d gotten back from a meeting and sat down to review only a couple of the potential crewmen’s files.  She’d gone over Anchor’s file.  Everything looked in order.  If he kept in line with his history, he’d be a good shipman.  There was something about it though, she couldn’t quite put her finger on.  Some of the records seemed a little too glowing, and there had been a lot of administrative positions over the years.  Admiral Hackett said Anchor had connection.

She tucked a paper list of names into a desk drawer and stood.  She’d gone through so many personnel files they were melding together.  The ones the Alliance recommended weren’t impressing her.  She needed to stretch outside the files coming across her desk.  Maybe she needed to do some of her own digging.  Admiral Hackett had said she could assemble her own crew. 

She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand then turned the desk’s terminal off.  She flicked off the desk light and the room fell into darkness except for the dim lamp on her nightstand.  She moved to her bed.  The door buzzed. 

Shepard looked back at the front door.  It could be Liara again.  It had been weeks since Shepard had seen her and Tali at that dextran fusion place.  They still needed to try Angelo’s sometime.  It was pretty late though and Liara was so busy.  Still, she had dropped by before unexpectedly.  Shepard opened the door.

“Kaidan?”

He brushed past her into her room.  “Sorry, Shepard.  Just need to get out of the hallway.”

Shepard frowned and turned to face him.  “You shouldn’t be here, Kaidan.”

“I know.”

She hit the door’s close button.  It slid shut behind her.

“I wanted to see you,” he said.

“All right, you see me,” Shepard put her arms out, “but you shouldn’t be here.  If you know that—”

“I leave in the morning,” he said.  “I know you’re leaving too.  Soon.  I’m not sure when we’ll see each other again.  Maybe a long time, maybe years.”  He concentrated on his boots then looked up.  “I can go though.  I don’t want to put you in a bad spot.”

“No.” Shepard sighed.  “I didn’t know you were shipping out.”

“Only to Prague for now, my students are there, but when the relays are back there’s a longer assignment.  I don’t know what, but we might miss each other before I go.  It could be a long time.”

Shepard nodded absently.  The door behind her was closed.  She knew that.  Still, it felt wide open and exposing.

“No one knows I’m here.  I didn’t see anyone in the hall.”

“You’re aware that Admiral Hackett stays in the hall one section over?”

Kaidan’s face blanched, but it passed.  “No.  I didn’t know.”

“Maybe you should have messaged me.  I could have met you in public somewhere.”

“That would be better?”

Shepard put her hands on her hips and drummed her fingers in thought.  A public sighting would probably only flame the rumor’s cinders.

“Well, maybe not,” Shepard conceded, “but being seen here has a hell of a lot more implications, Kaidan.”

He shifted on his feet then sighed.  He took a step forward.  “I’ll go.”

“Wait.” Shepard put a palm against his chest. 

He stopped.  She snatched her hand back.  It had been reflexive like grabbing at a falling pot of boiling water, a good way to get burned.

“You’re already here,” she said.  “The chance of someone seeing you leave now is probably the same as leaving later.  So, stay.”

“I won’t stay long.  I didn’t want to go without seeing you.  You’re still my friend.  We went through a lot together.  You don’t just let people like that go without saying goodbye.”

“All right.  You’ve convinced me.  I won't call security.”

“Gee, thanks.  You’re such a generous hostess.”

“Ha, ha.” Shepard brushed past him but not too close.  She stepped down into the living room and turned on an end table’s lamp.  She gestured to the couch.

“Take a seat, Major.”

“See, that generous hostess again.”

He came down the steps and sat on the far couch.

“Hell, yeah, I’m generous,” Shepard said.  “It’s the middle of the night.  You’re not aware of conventional visiting hours?  You’re way passed the cut off.”

“Didn’t see it posted anywhere.  Your own fault if there’s confusion.”

“You need visiting etiquette posted, huh?  Want some signs up as a reminder to keep your boots off the table and use coasters for cold drinks?”

He looked down at his boots.  “They’re clean.  Besides, I don’t have anything cold to forget to put on a coaster.”

“Are you asking me for a beer?”

“A generous hostess would already have asked.  You need more practice.”

“I’ll have to get my visiting hours posted first.”

She walked up the steps to the fridge.

 “You don’t really have to get me one.”  He twisted back to look at her.

“Did you bring your ID?” Shepard pulled two bottles out.  She strolled down and handed him one.  “Here you go.  On the house.”  She clanked her bottle against his.

“On the house, eh?” He twisted off the cap and took a drink.  “Even after I missed happy hour?  I take back what I said about your hostess skills.”

“Phew.” She came around him and sat in the same corner on the other couch. “Could have lost ten minutes of REM worrying about that.”

“Ten minutes?  That shouldn’t be worth more than five.  You’re more sensitive about your hostess skills than I thought.  Good thing I apologized.”

“Did you apologize?  I don’t think that counts as an apology.”

“I said I took it back.  Redacted it.”

“Well, good enough, I guess.”

They perched on the edge of the couches.  Kaidan gave a wide look around the room and took another drink.

“Swanky, Shepard.”

“See what celebrity buys.”

“Didn’t buy a large flat screen TV with it though.  Guess celebrity can’t buy everything.”

“I have a large flat screen window.”  Shepard motioned in front of her.  “Why do I need a TV?”

“That you do.”  He stood up staring at it.  “Pretty amazing actually.  Not a lot of windows like this in barracks.”

“Celebrity, like I said.”

“Probably doesn’t get bioticball though.”

He bent and paused.  His bottle hovered over the coffee table.  He looked at the end table and then back to the coffee table. 

“Shepard!  You don’t even have any coasters.”

“Oh.”  She took a swig.  It was good.  Everything felt right -- the beer, everything.  “I may have put the cart before the horse on that one.”

“Cart before the horse?”  He smirked.  “Think how many generations of humans have said that.  How many more generations will?”

“Still works.”

“Well, yeah, it makes sense if you know what a horse is.  Have you even seen a horse?”

“I was born on a colony.  It’s not like I never spent any time on Earth.  Alliance’s Historic Headquarters are here, you ass.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“Fine.” She put her beer on the table.  “I’ve seen pictures.”

“Pictures? Oh.” Kaidan set his beer down next to hers.  “Sitting with a horse expert the whole time.”

“Damn right.  Over my lifetime, I’ve probably seen five different pictures of horses and, after you leave, I’m gonna look up five more.  Then I can say I’ve seen ten.”

“Wow.  Slow down.” Kaidan put his palms up.  “I see I’ve touched on something there.”

“So, I take it you’ve seen horses?”

“Sure, lots of time, even ridden.  But I grew up on Earth, lived on property, so really not that impressive coming from me.”

Shepard stood up.  “I think I’ll stick to fish.”

She rounded the opposite side of the coffee table and walked to the window.  Kaidan came beside her.

“Kaidan, I’m impressed.”  She glanced over at him.  “You actually looked for a coaster.”

“Well, you may be an excellent hostess, but I’m an excellent guest.”

“An excellent guest would have brought a house warming gift.”

“Coasters,” they said in unison. 

Kaidan smiled holding her gaze, then turned to the window.  In the dim room, the night sky stretched out before of them.  There wasn’t a moon tonight or not one in the part of the sky they could see. 

Kaidan sighed and folded his arms.  “Reminds me of the observation deck on the Normandy.  Stars are just further away.”

“A lot of things are further away than on the Normandy," Shepard said.

Kaidan glanced sideways at her, but Shepard looked away.

“What’s this mission in Prague?” she asked.

“Special ops, securing the reaper tech being scavenged by roving interest groups.  I’m more concerned about the Terra Firma activity though.  The attacks are up.  It’s becoming more organized.  They’ve been targeting the dextran factories, alien refuge shelters, assassinated or tried to assassinate who know how many.  You heard about the turien delegation in Prague?”

Shepard nodded.  “Poisoned, right?’

“Yeah, some new poison, works on every species we’ve seen.  Seen it used orally and injected.  The ones that lived had horrible amnesic hangovers, probably got less of a dose.  Haven’t been able to identify it yet.”

“They didn’t find the assassins?”

“For the Prague delegates?  No.  It was only one person.  Some assassin Terra Firma’s been contracting with.  Damn good with biotics too.  Killed an asari matriarch a couple months back.  Caught her in the embassy garden.”

“So, you’re going to find this assassin in Prague?”

“Who knows where the assassin is now?  Probably already left Europe.  No, I’m more interested in the rumors coming out of Prague.  Terra Firma’s got some end game up their sleeve, an attack of some sort.  With the relay’s coming back up, their isolationist agenda’s on a time table -- smother the aliens and keep the relays offline.”

“If that’s true, why’d they stop targeting spacecrafts?”

“There’s a leader now, someone organizing them, someone with a bigger vision.  That’s who I care about.  There’s not much intelligence on it.  Worth digging into anyway.”

“Sounds like you might get to use a gun.”

“Maybe, but they keep pretty low profile.  Probably think no one’s paying much attention.”

“I love giving wake up calls.”

“Exactly.”  He looked sideways at her.  “What about you though?  They’re sending you back out on the Normandy?”

“Word’s already on the street, huh?”

“You think my source of information is the street?”

“Alliance News Network then?  I hope it hasn’t gotten that far,” Shepard said.  “I’ve been looking at personnel files.  Except for my XO, Anchor, the admiral has me assembling my own crew.”

“He knows you have instinct for putting together a good team.”

“Yeah, well, I never went off files and words before.  I met people, ran into so many by happenstance.”

“Fate?”

“Fate.  Hmm, think there is such a thing?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know that there isn’t.”

“You come and joke with me then philosophize.  You are a good guest or at least an interesting one.”

“See.”

They almost touched standing side by side facing the window.  Who had been the one to drift closer, Shepard wasn’t sure.  She should probably step away, but he was looking out the window.  He didn’t seem to be paying attention to their proximity.  It was fine, and there was still space between them.

“What’s your assignment?” he asked.  “If you can say.”

“Something deep space.  The Normandy’s being retrofitted for it.  Read something about Elliom in Hackett’s back and forth with Parliament, and he mentioned some Mass Effect Shard in the Sol relay that’s cracked.  But I don’t know, haven’t gotten the rundown.  Could do with the rogue mercs taking out our ships.   Probably something to keep lawlessness from taking advantage of the solar system while the powers out.”

“Elliom?” he asked frowning into the window then shrugged.  He looked back at her.  “You don’t have to retire the armor then?”

“Never.  I mean, hell, I hope not.  Something tells me though, I’ll be using more words than bullets to solve problems.”

“I don’t know which you’re faster on the draw with.”

“You should see me draw both at the same time.”

“I have.”

“Just checking.  Seeing if you remember.”

“I remember.”  He caught her eye.

The quiet stretched between them.  The pale lamp light lit one side of his face.  He searched her eyes. 

She turned away.  “They’ll be a lot of problems to resolve.  I won’t run out anytime soon."

“I suppose there will be a lot to smooth out,” he said.

“I suppose so.”  Shepard swallowed.  “You know, before winning the war, a lot of things were said -- agreements, promises, understandings.  They offered things that maybe they shouldn’t have.  Now, it’s reality.”  Kaidan watched her, hadn’t looked away. The words hung in the air between them.  Shepard brightened her tone.  “So, anyway, that’s what I’ll do.  I don’t want to be too involved, that’s for the politicians, but I’ll straighten things out where I can.  Without the war, none of these pacts would have happened, even with me saying the exact same thing.  We came together for the war, but now we’ve won, and it’s a different place.”

Kaidan seemed to consider it and looked back out the window.  “It’s a lofty task.  I don’t know if anyone can do it, but if anyone can, it’s you, Shepard.”

“We’ll see.”

Kaidan looked away from the window.  “I should go, Shepard.  I don’t want to keep you up.”

Shepard nodded with a tight smile.  He moved past her, and she followed him up the living room steps.  They neared the door, and his steps slowed.

He spun around.  “Look, Shepard.  I—I don’t know what to say.  All I know is that we won this war, but for me, it feels like we lost.  We’re alive, standing, but that’s not enough anymore.  I don’t want to just be alive to breathe and go through the motions.  I want you, Shepard.  I’ve always wanted you.”

“Kaidan …”

“I know, I know, but I wanted you to know that.  That’s how I feel.”

“That may change.”

“I don’t think so, Shepard.”

“Kaidan, there’s too much invested in the Alliance, what we do, who we are.”

“What about what’s invested in us?”

“Kaidan.  I know you mean what you’re saying, but trust me, you’ll regret it.  You’ve done too much to get where you are.  I’ve heard you talk about the biotics program, your students.  A few more years, there’ll probably be another promotion.  Maybe sooner.  Don’t do anything stupid.  I don’t want to live with that, and I won’t accept it.  Give it time.  After a while you’ll be relieved you stayed the course.  This path was always your future, your dream.” He didn’t say anything, just held her eyes.  She sighed.  “When you were a kid on Jump Zero, imagine how you’d see yourself now -- all the good you’ve done, all the good you will do, everything you’ve worked so hard for and to become.  Don’t give that up.  You’d regret it.  I’d regret it.”

Kaidan stepped closer.  “I don’t know, Shepard.  I understand what you’re staying, and it makes sense.  But at the same time … I don’t know.  But, I’ll step aside.  I don’t want to cause any problems.”  He reached out and touched her face.  Then he leaned in and kissed her.

The kiss was light and soft, a breath of oxygen to air-starved lips.  She could smell him, hear each breath across her cheek, feel the warm off his skin.  So near after all this time away, it ignited a flash fire, combusted out of her chest.  Flames raced through her veins.  All those months in the hospital thinking he was gone, and he was here now holding her face.  The pulse under his skin, flush of warmth from his fingertips, taste of his breath – it sent her spinning.  All her senses and scattered thoughts boiled with the relief of his thumb caressing her cheek.  He was here.

He pulled away, and their lips broke.  Gravity lurched up her throat, tore through her chest, as he drew back.  All the time missing him left an emptiness.  It fell over her again like a shadow. 

Her hands flashed up and caught his face.  Their eyes locked, and she drew him back with her fingertips.  The hollowness in his eyes kindled.  He searched her eyes almost frantically as she pulled him to her. 

She kissed him.  It was strong and fierce.  Her fingertips dug into the curve of his jaw.  His mouth opened to her, and she surged against him.  Breathless and dizzy, she smelled him, tasted him, felt the grain of his jaw under her chin.  His fingers slid into her hair and tightened in the strands at the nape of her neck.  A drumming in her ears drowned away the feverish hitch in each breath.  Her fingers trailed down his neck, and he shivered.  A smile split her lips.  She pressed tighter against him.  Each breath burned faster and stronger.  His chest labored against her.  She traced the button at his collar with her fingertips then released it.  She fumbled with the next, kissing him harder and deeper. 

He grabbed the back of her hands, broke the kiss. “No.  I – I should leave.”

Heat flashed in her chest.  She pulled back to look at him.  “ _You_ kissed _me_.”

“I know,” he said.  He lowered her hands and stepped back.  “I probably shouldn’t have.  I’m sorry.”

“You’re already here.”

“I can’t.  It wouldn’t change anything, and I don’t think my heart could take it.  Bye, Shepard.”

He reached forward and touched her face lightly.  He smiled weakly then backed up and turned to the door.  Shepard couldn’t move.  The door slid open.  He leaned out, looked both directions, before turning back to her.

“Kaidan ...”

“Be careful out there, Shepard.” 

He left. The doors slid shut.  She stared at it.  And maybe for the first time, she hated him.  Her bones chilled deep.  She’d been fine an hour ago, getting better.  Well, maybe not better, but better than this.  Anything was better than this.

She shuffled down to the coffee table and snatched up his partial bottle of beer.  She threw her head back taking two prolonged gulps to finish it and stared down at it in her hand.  Her fist clenched around it, and she hurled it across the room at the recycler.  It boomed against the wall, ricocheting, and skipped across the linoleum.  She sank to the floor by the sofa as a heaviness fell over her.  She looked up at the stars.  For the first time, she even hated them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 

Shepard straightened her uniform in the mirror.  She had her Omni-Tool.  She had her datapad.  She smoothed her hair.  Everything in order.

She walked out of the bathroom.  The vid comm flashed on her desk.  Someone was calling.  She had a few minutes.  She started forward but stumbled.  An empty beer bottle rolled against her foot.  She picked it up.  She opened the recycle and placed it inside before continued to her desk.  A small image appeared on her terminal’s feed.

“Wrex.”

 “Shepard!”

“Haven’t seen you around.  Where you been?”

“London.  Still here.  Not as much fun without reapers to kill.”

Shepard chuckled with lifted eyebrows.  “Never thought I’d hear anyone wishing the Reapers back.”

“Just to fight.  They were a challenge.  Appreciate that.  And we’d win.  Again.  Krogan always win a fight.”

“Well, I think there were more than just Krogan in this one, Wrex.”

“True.  Needed the turnout for our biggest fight yet.  My people will talk about it for years to come.  Tell their children about it, now we have some.  Probably already have some born by now on Tuchanka.”

“I’m sure you’re right.”

“You will visit Tuchanka when the relays come back.  You will be amazed by the krogan young.  Born warriors.  Youth sparing makes them strong.  Always had to stop the young fighting before.  Too precious to risk harm until adulthood.  Now, tradition can be restored.  A new age of krogan.  United clans once more.  And expansion.  There will be glory again.”

“Don’t worry me, Wrex.”  Shepard leaned over the desk on one hand.  “I don’t know what you mean by expansion yet.”

“It was agreed.  New planets.  Space to grow.  Expand.  You promised me, Shepard.”

“I can’t make promises for any race delivering planets over to the krogan.  But, I did promise to help.  And I will.  I’m sure there are a lot of places your people’ll make into colonies.”

Wrex rolled his shoulders and paced on the screen.  “That’s why I call, Shepard.  The Council won’t schedule a hearing to address these things.  No one’s works on our relay.”

“All the races are working on their own relays, Wrex.”

“Not Earth’s!” He raised his hand as he paced.

“Don’t act like you don’t know why that’s the exception.  But, I will help you.  The krogan can be important contributors to the galaxy as a united people, and you did help win the war.  There’s a way to start the future off on the right foot, but you’ll have to be patient, Wrex.  This won’t happen overnight.”

“This, I know.  But I must be heard.  I, Urdnot Wrex, must be recognized as voice of the krogan.  There is much to discuss.  Before the relay is fixed, and they leave, they must listen first.”

“I’ll see what I can do about getting an audience with the Council.”

“Tuchanka has a true friend in you, Shepard.  More than any alien before.”

“I can’t promise anything.  Anything more than promising I’ll push my hardest.”

“Then that’s enough.  I know how hard you push.” 

Wrex grinned.  His image was so much clearer than the last vid communication she’d received from that far. 

“Wrex, I wish I could talk longer.  I have an appointment with Alliance leadership.”

“Ha.  Onto the next battle, huh, Shepard?  You get the Normandy back?”

“Yes.  Yes, I did.”

“Good.  Talk to the Council for me.  I’ll wait.”

“Thanks, Wrex.”

The image blipped out.  Shepard checked the time.  None to waste.  She couldn’t start a meeting being the late subordinate.

 

* * *

 

“Commander Shepard.” 

“Admiral Wilson.  Pleased to meet you.”

Admiral Hackett’s office felt too small with all the stern faces.  She clasped Wilson’s hand.  He gave a firm pump staring at her with hard eyes.  Shepard smiled tightly.  Lieutenant Commander Anchor stood between Wilson and Hackett and saluted her.  The man in corner though, watched her coolly and didn’t speak.

“Flight Admiral Dumas,” Hackett introduced.

Shepard knew him.  He was in parliament on her first day of active duty out of the hospital.  They’d made such a show putting her in her place.  Then they’d assigned her to all those damned meetings refusing to discuss anything that actually mattered.  They’d made it quite clear she was an Alliance subordinate first, not hero of the people.  Spectre was her side job, good for her, but that didn’t matter to them.  She was a staff commander with no more input or authority than her rank signified.  Period. 

Dumas didn’t offer a handshake.  Maybe he was waiting for her.  She saluted him, and he sighed giving a weak return.

“I have things to do, admirals.  We can talk later.”

He walked out of the room.  Hackett’s office door closed behind him.

“Please, sit, sit.”  Admiral Hackett indicated the couch and chairs in the corner.

Lieutenant Commander Anchor lead the way.  The four of them took a seat.

“Commander,” Hackett continued looking at Shepard, “as you may have gathered from the messages back and forth, Admiral Wilson will be your direct superior.  You will report to him.  He’s been tasked with overseeing your missions.”

Shepard eyed Wilson opposite the table from Hackett.  His bald head reflected light from the window like a polished floor.  His eyes narrowed at her from shadowed purple hollows.  She’d never seen anyone with such sunken, deep set eyes.  She gave a nod in his direction.

“I understand, sir.”

“Lieutenant Commander Anchor has already been serving under Admiral Wilson.  In fact, the admiral recommended him to this position.  I’m confident you’ll make a strong team.”

Anchor bared his teeth at her in a smile.  She flashed a quick smile back.  There was something about him, but maybe she was just biased since she hadn’t handpicked him. 

“The Normandy is nearing completion,” Hackett said.  “You’ve chosen your crew.  Still waiting to hear on some of them.  They’ll need oriented and trained, but it’s coming together.  A while more, you’ll start on the mission.”

“Which is, sir?” she asked Hackett.

Admiral Wilson cleared his throat.  Shepard rotated her head to him.

“You will address me for those questions, Commander.”  Wilson lifted his eyebrows.  “Are we clear, soldier?”

Shepard suppressed a frown.  “Aye, aye, sir.”

He gazed back at her steadily.  It was too intense of a normal look.  He was waiting.  Maybe he wanted her to readdress the question to him or maybe just be the first to look away.  She intertwined her fingers on her crossed knee and waited.  She gave him a wide smile.  The leather creaked as Admiral Hackett shifted in his chair.

“Perhaps, Admiral, we should continue,” Hackett said.

Anchor sat forward cutting off Shepard’s eye contact with Wilson.  “What is our first mission, if you don’t mind me asking, sir?”

Shepard frowned at the back of Anchor’s head.

“Well, Lieutenant Commander, Staff Commander,” Admiral Wilson said.  “Your first mission is one of a sensitive nature.  Meaning, it’s classified.”  He paused.  “You understand what that means, correct?”

“Of course, sir,” Anchor said.

“Commander?”

Anchor scooted back enough for Shepard to see Wilson again.

“Yes, sir,” she said.

“Good.  That means that besides this room, the flight admirals, of course, and the Council, no one will know the details of the mission.  This includes your crew.  It includes everyone.  They’ll know what they need to get the job done, and that’s it.”

Shepard glanced at Anchor.  It was unusual include her XO in the briefing of something apparently so highly classified would.  Wilson seemed to notice the look.

“Your XO is an important backup, Commander.  That’s why he’s here.  I expect you to work as a team.  He will be included in all briefings.  If something were to happen to you—”

“Happen to me?” Shepard frowned.

“As it could on any mission,” Wilson said.  “Your XO would need to recover the mission.  Assuming the main objective has been complete, the mission could still be successful.”

Shepard turned back to Hackett who was also frowning now.

“Do I have your attention?” Wilson snapped.

Shepard whipped her head back to Wilson.

“It’s important someone else on the ship knows the full mission and its importance.”

“Understood, sir,” Shepard said pinching her fingers together so tightly across her knee they hurt.

“Good.  Now, you’ve heard about our progress on the relays.  We hope to have an end date next summer, hopefully to shortly follow the Summit.  We’ve made great progress, but there’s been a problem.”

“The cracked shard?”  Shepard asked.  At Wilson’s raised eyebrows and set mouth, she shrugged.  “Is that meant to be classified?  The Alliance is trying to replicate it, right?”

“Right,” Wilson said stiffly and glanced at Hackett with a frown.  He turned his eyes back to Shepard.  “It hasn’t worked, even with the Council onboard the project.  We can’t replicate it.  We’ve tried for months.  Even with the help of that prothean, we’re at a standstill.”

“Do we need it?  Is there a workaround?” Shepard asked.

“No,” Wilson said flatly.  “You even know what we’re talking about?  There’s no workaround.”

“I … maybe not,” Shepard said.

“The Sol relay’s probably the most damaged of all the relays.  It took that initial burst.  The Meridian Orb, your ‘Mass Effect Shard,’ uses the eezo core to amplify the effect field over the relay. We are continuing the rebuilding of the relay, but without the orb, it will never function.  There isn’t a piece of technology available to substitute that.  We need another one.”

“What size of a component are we talking about?” Shepard asked.

“Small.  Compared to the rest of the relay, infinitesimal.  Smaller than the palm of your hand.”

“So, we’re stealing it from another relay?” Shepard said looking between the admirals.

Anchor’s eye widened.

“In a way, yes,” Wilson said.  “It’s not so simple though.  The thing is, we don’t know how to remove it and keep it intact.  We’ve been calling it cracked, but last week, we tried to remove it for repair.  It’s powder now.  Our engineers warned that removing the shard, even if it wasn’t cracked, was impossible.”

“Sounds like a problem then.”

“But one with a solution.  There may be a way.  We just need to know how to do it properly.”

“If Javik doesn’t know, then who would?”

“There’s a research station off Elliom—”

“Elliom?  That’s deep space.”

Wilson glared.  “Don’t interrupt me again, Commander.”

Shepard took a deep breath digging her nails into the back of her hand.

“Sorry, admiral.”

“I’m not familiar with it, Admiral,” Anchor said.

 Wilson’s eyes flitted to Anchor.  “Elliom’s a small planet, livable but never colonized.  Wildlife, you understand, makes it uninhabitable.  That, and there’s a dormant relay on the surface.  Were you aware of that, Commander Shepard?”

Shepard gave a stiff shrug and kept her smile fixed.

  “Per an Alliance agreement with the turiens, the location has been kept confidential.  There’s a research station at the dig site, also classified.  Extensive research on the protheans and the relay has, or had, been going on for years.  The relay is almost fully excavated.”

“So, we’re taking the orb from this dormant relay.  How, if we don’t know how to extract it?”

“The protheans on Elliom were involved in building the relay.  In fact, we’re not even sure, if we were to activate it, if it would work or if it’s even finished.  We know from schematics that there is a Meridian Orb.  The crucible’s blast only touched active relays, not dormant ones.  It will still be in good condition.”

“Extracting it, though?  You said the mission fails without me.  Why?”

“Very good.  You see, Commander,“ Wilson sat up higher in his chair, “we need your prothean cipher.  I read that you understood prothean communication signals on Eden Prime when no one else could.  Dr. Liara T’Soni couldn’t even tell there was a message in that static.”

“So, you think I’ll be able to understand information harvested from the prothean ruins.  There’s no other way to get the information to me?”

“The research station is on Elliom.  There isn’t a functional comm buoy around for light years.  You cross out of Sol, and you’re on your own out there.  A Council’s quantum communicators are about the only method of communication, and it has to be linked to its matching platform.  There are only a handful, and only one pair that is operation.  Or will be operational soon.  The Normandy’s.”

“The council is involved in this, then?”

“Naturally.  This concerns the relay.  You’re a Spectre and Alliance soldier.  It’s a collaboration.  However, that doesn’t mean they’re calling the shots.  It’s an Alliance vessel, Alliance crew, and you’re Alliance.  Don’t forget that.  You have fidelity to the Council, but you’re accountable and obedient to the Alliance.”

Shepard frowned and leaned back in the couch.  Anchor shifted back further in his seat to not block Wilson’s view of her.  Admiral Hackett’s chair squeaked as he shifted.  A hardness pinched his face as he watched Wilson.

“Okay.” Shepard turned her attention back to Wilson.  “So, I fly out to Elliom, decipher the directions for extracting the orb, take it from the dormant relay, and come back bearing the last piece needed to finish the Sol relay?”

“Essentially.  Bring back the Elliom researchers as well.”

“We know they’re alive?”

“We don’t know anything,” Wilson grumbled.  “The nearest comm buoy’s been out for over a year, but if they’re alive, turien and human, bring them back.”

Anchor sat forward suddenly.  “How many humans?”

“The station was home to a range of scientists, military officers, and political liaisons.  Twenty-seven.”

“Twenty-seven!” Shepard’s shot to the edge of the couch and peered around Anchor.  “Twenty-seven?”

“You didn’t hear me?”  Wilson said.  “Let me repeat myself, Commander.  Twenty-seven.  Two, seven.  Understand that now?  In addition to the researchers, a turien general had his ship in the area, the Medurrus.  They diverted to Elliom after a reaper encounter took out their main thrusters.  The general’s a war hero.  It will help turien-human relations by recovering the survivors.  Anyone you find, you bring back.  I don’t care how many.”

Shepard glanced at Hackett and Anchor before turning back to Wilson.  “Yes, sir.  The Normandy wasn’t built to bunk over fifty members of crew and survivors.  And, how long is this mission?  It’s a remote system.  We’re talking light years.  This must be—”

“Months, yes,” Wilson said.  “You don’t think this has all been thought out beforehand, Commander?  You think you’re the only one considering the ramifications of what we’re asking you to do?  Be assured, Alliance Parliament has discussed this at length.”

“And the Council?”

“To some length, of course.  They know about the situation with the relay.  Believe me, it has a far bigger impact on them than us.”

“Really?” Shepard settled on the very edge of the couch with tightening muscles.  “Earth doesn’t exactly have unlimited resources, Admiral.  I think reopening the relay and seeing the aliens home would be an Alliance priority, too.”

Wilson’s eyes widened.  He sat forward.  “Careful, Commander.  I don’t take insubordination.  I don’t need explicit infractions to censure you.  We need your cipher, but don’t think you’re indispensable.  We’re not at your mercy.  We can find other options if we need it.  Go rogue or be insubordinate, you’ll never fly the Normandy again, Commander.  Clear?”

Shepard twisted to look at Hackett again.  He seemed to purposefully not look at her.  She looked back quickly to Wilson’s expectant gaze.

“Of course, sir.”

“Understand I don’t care about your Spectre status.  I don’t care about your … ‘commendations.’ Your service is, of course, appreciated, but it doesn’t make you anything other than an Alliance soldier who did her duty.  I think we’re done here.  I have an advisory board meeting in an hour.”  He got to his feet.  “We will speak again tomorrow and go over further details then.”

 “Shouldn’t we …” Shepard stood slowly, then trailed off under Wilson’s glare.  “Thanks for taking the time to discuss this with me, sir.”

“My assistant will send you a meeting time,” Wilson said.  He nodded at Hackett.  “Admiral.”

They filed to the door.  Admiral Hackett followed last.

“Commander Shepard, one moment, please.”

Wilson paused halfway through the door.  The sharp glance and set jaw made Shepard want to keep moving forward.

“Admiral Hackett, anything I should know?” he asked.

“No, Admiral.  Just a quick word with the commander.”

Admiral Wilson twisted back to the reception area and marched out.  His heavy steps echoing back.  Anchor gave Shepard a nod before following after him.

“Come in, Commander.  Close the door.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hackett stood quietly until they heard the door click shut.

“Okay, Shepard.  I have no say over this.  He’s a hard man, but a good one in his way.  You’ll learn to work with him.”

“But, why do I need to, sir?” Shepard said.

“It was the Alliance Parliament’s choice.  Flight Admiral Dumas thought it best.  The others sided with him.  I didn’t have a say.”

“A strong arm to manage the unruly Commander Shepard, then?  Keep her in her place.”

“You’re strong personality, you’ll make it work.”

Shepherd crossed her arms but gave a quick nod.  “Of course.”

She looked back at the door.  Hackett rubbed his jaw watching her then finally cleared his throat.

“Something off the record, Shepard, before you go.  There are a lot of rumors and activity.  I wouldn’t be surprised if you were on their radar.  Repairing the relay, certainly is, and this mission is an important part of that.  Be careful.”

“Who’s radar?”

“Terra Firma.”

“The terrorist group?”  Shepard frowned.

“They’re more powerful than you may think.  Just, be careful.  That’s all I had to say, Commander.”

 

* * *

 

Shepard walked out of Hackett’s office with a deep frown.  Lieutenant Commander Anchor was sitting on one of the hallway’s couches by the window.  He rose when he saw her approach.

“Commander,” he said.

“You didn’t need to wait for me,” she said slowing but continuing down the hall.

“I just want to be involved.  What was all that about?”  He stepped in line with her.

“You always so nosey, Lieutenant Commander?” she asked.

“No, just curious.”

“If Admiral Wilson wanted you to know, he would’ve held you back too.  He didn’t.”

“Fine.”

“Fine?” Shepard stopped short turning to him.

He regarded her for a cold moment, and she raised her eyebrows at him.

“Fine, ma’am,” he corrected.

“Better.  Don’t make me act like Admiral Wilson.”

Shepard started ahead and Anchor fell in beside her again.  She turned the corner to the council wing, and he kept pace. 

“Are you following me?” she asked.

“You’re headed to see the Council, right?”  Shepard narrowed her eyes, and he added, “We’re going that direction.  How about I tag along?  Learn something.”

 “You’re hardly an ensign, Commander Anchor.  You’ve probably only served a few years less than I have.”

He gave that canine smile again.  “You’re the great Commander Shepard, right?”

“Just be yourself.  You don’t need to be like me.  You have an excellent record.  I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Good advice, Commander.  I will just hang in the background.  Won’t be a bother.”

Shepard glanced sideways at him.  “Go check on the ship, run diagnostics, recheck everything.  It’s a work-in-progress.  Bring me an update.”

“There are engineers working on that.  They’d write up a better report on it than I would, ma’am.  If you’re against me accompanying you, perhaps there’s something I’m better suited for that I can do for you, Commander?”

Shepard stopped again and faced him.  “I told you what you could do, Lieutenant Commander, and I mean it.  The XO oversees the crew, oversees the daily operation of the ship.  I won’t explain myself again.  When I give an order, Commander, I expect you to follow it.”

His face hardened.  “Aye, aye, Commander.”

“Report on my desk tonight.  You can go.”

He rushed past her.  Shepard followed him with her eyes as he hurried around the slower traffic.  When he turned down another hallway out of sight, Shepard’s spine loosened.  He’d taken the left hallway past the second vid conference room.  It was the right direction to the Normandy’s dock.  Shepard started back down the hall.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 

Shepard stormed into the auxiliary council chamber.  Compared to the main council chamber, the room seemed shrunken and claustrophobic.  The councilors sat at a long table cluttered with datapads and going through the day’s notes.  Ilk smirked at a news vids flashing on his Omni-Tools.  A lamp on each end of the table provided the only light.

“Councilors.” She marched up to the table.

Tevos’s two assistants looked up from their datapads in the corner then recognizing her looked backed down. 

“Councilors did you—”

“Let me finish this.”  Ilk glared touching his ear piece.

A stack of articles, actual paper, fanned out in front of him.  Uncapped highlights and smeared ink shorthand covered the pages.  He leaned back over them with a pen and made some more scribbles.  Shepard sighed.  Tevos covered a yawn with the back of her hand, shifted in her chair, and glanced over at Ilk.  Sparatus stared out the window at the end of the table. The bare branches of trees on the lawn cut black silhouettes against the purpling sunset.

“Spectre Shepard.”  Mason propped an elbow on his chair’s armrest and rested his face on his fist.  “We agreed to meet with you.  We’re here, but let’s make this quick.  It’s been a long day in hearings.  Early day tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m trying to finish this!” Ilk snapped.

“Then go off and do it,” Sparatus grumbled shoving some of Ilk’s papers out of his space on the desk.  “The rest of us want to go home.  Some of us have lives outside of paperwork and numbers.”

Ilk plucked out his earpiece.  “I cannot help that your baser—”

“Let’s just get on with it,” Tevos said.  “Go on, Shepard.  What did you need to talk to us about?  But like Mason said, let’s make it quick, shall we?”

“Doable.” Shepard stood in front of them.  “This mission for the relay?  You know about it?”

Tevos’s eyes widened.  She glanced over at her assistants.

“They should go,” Mason lowered his voice turning to Tevos.

Tevos nodded and flickered her hand to dismiss them.  Shepard waited for the door to close behind them leaving her alone with the councilors.

“Then, you do know about it?”

“Of course, we do.” Tevos sighed.  “It’s been a major source of … contention.”

“Contention?”

“The Alliance is using it as a power game.  What else?  Vying for primach of the galaxy,” Sparatus said.

“As a Spectre with Council authority, I should be under your direction on this.  I don’t need their oversight.”

“We don’t have the upper hand right now,” Tevos said.

“They’re squelching us,” Sparatus spat.  “The upper hand may not be ours again for a long time.”

“They can’t grind us down that far,” Tevos said.

“Can’t they?” Sparatus leaned forward on the desk looking past Ilk to Tevos.  “They’ve already taken over the relay construction.  The Council is currently located in Alliance Headquarters.  We’re using their resources.  After we leave here, we still have the Citadel floating above Earth.  And, reconstructing it? Who’s going to take charge of that, you think?  Who’s going to be flooding the Citadel in a ratio of five to one with this new location?  Humans, Alliance.  They’re not pushing us around for the fun of it right now.  No, they’re laying groundwork.  I’m a turien.  I’d know.”

“I’ve lived over eight hundred years,” Tevos smiled indulgently.  “It will come back around.”

“For you,” Ilk said bitingly.

“What if I just did this mission for the Council?” Shepard said taking a step forward.

Tevos frowned.  “What do you mean?  Without your sponsor?”

“Without the Alliance.  Without their oversight.”

“Ha,” Ilk grabbed a datapad off the table.  He shook his head as he looked down at it.

“That’s ridiculous,” Sparatus muttered.

“Why? Spectres can be autonomous,” Shepard said.

“Sure,” Sparatus said.  “How are you getting there?  Who’s going with you?”

“I have friends.”

“Friends with their own weapons, gear, ships, money, resources?”

Shepard shrugged and crossed her arms.  “Maybe plus or minus.”

“There’s no way,” Sparatus said again.

Tevos sat forward.  “Shepard, I understand your frustration.  We’re frustrated, too.  No one likes being pushed around, but our hands are tied.  We can’t undermine them, even if it were possible.  We won’t give you authority to go over the Alliance’s head.  You’ll burn your bridges.  We all need those bridges.  Maybe in the next twenty, twenty-five years—”

“Twenty-five years?” Shepard walked up to the table and put her hands on it.  “You think your hands are going to be tied for twenty-five years?  Are you joking?”

 “I’m sorry.  You need to realize -- yes, you’re a Spectre, you’re our agent, but you’re also Alliance.  We’re not going to supersede them.  We need to stay on their good side.  Throw away the Alliance, and there’s even less we can do for you.  In time, we may have more resources and influence again, but that time is far off, I warn you. You need your human sponsors.  The Council doesn’t give Spectres anything but a blind eye to do what is needed for the galaxy.  Right now, we can’t even give you that.”

“Very well,” Shepard said sharply.

“You called us together to talk about this?” Sparatus said.  “Don’t bother next time.”

“Actually no,” Shepard said.  “I wanted to talk to you about something else, Councilors.  The krogan—”

“No!”  Sparatus said.  “We won’t discuss that.”

“Urdnot Wrex—”

“Spectre,” Tevos said.  “We are aware of his attempts to contact us.  The Council, at this time, must focus on matters of priority.”

“This is a matter of priority, Councilors.”

“You’ll leave now, Spectre.”  Sparatus’s face twisted as he stood up.  “You’ve wasted enough of our time today.”

“A moment …”

“No!” Sparatus boomed.

“Wait, Sparatus.”  Ilk looked alert for the first time.  “I will hear what she has to say.”

Sparatus grumbled, shaking his head, and stacked datapads together on the desk.  He didn’t sit down.

“When we started this war, we needed help,” Shepard said.  “No one did it alone.  Coming together was a factor, the factor, in why we’re here instead of the reapers.  The krogans were part of that.”

Sparatus straightened his back and squared off to her.  He opened his mouth, but Ilk touched his sleeve with a frown.  Ilk turned back to Shepard.

“We needed them then, and they came,” Shepard said.  “Just like all of us.  They sacrificed like all of us.  Bled, died, lay wounded like all of us.  Lost ships, were stranded.”

Ilk shifted in his seat.  “Some would say curing the genophage was payment enough.”

Tevos regarded Shepard with thinning eyes.  “The future holds who knows what crises now because of that cure.”

Shepard lifted her shoulders and let them drop in a shrug.  “The future holds a lot of things, good and bad, but you can have some agency in its direction.  What do you think happens if you refuse to talk with the first krogan in centuries who’s united the clans?”

Ilk shrugged.  “With a nonfunctional mass relay, they will be contained.”

“For a time,” Shepard said.  “The krogan were great once though.  They figured out how to activate the relay once before.  Without our help, yes, the relay may take generations, but they’ll fix it.”

Sparatus sputtered.  “That’s assuming they could be cohesive enough to work together despite all their bickering and chaotic warfare.”

“If that’s true then why do you even fear them?  You fear them being cohesive enough for an invasion but don’t think they’ll be cohesive enough to fix the relay?  Probably be step one in an invasion.  Besides, I’ve found nothing brings people together quite like a common enemy.”

Sparatus crossed his arms but didn’t speak.  Ilk, Tevos, and Mason sat silent.

“By the time they’re advanced and collected enough to reactivate the relay, they’ll have expanded in size, and they’ll be angry and bitter.  Our unfulfilled bargain will fester through generations.  But, if you reach out to them now, you can shape how the krogan’s civilization grows.  Progress it into something different.  Please, Councilors, just listen to him.”

Tevos leaned forward and put her chin on steepled fingers.  “We did fulfill our bargain, they have nothing to complain about.  The genophage, quite against the Council’s wishes, is cured.”

“Sure, the genophage is cured.  Whether you think it’s true or not, they see that as what they were due.  It’s not a gift on our side, but repaying an old debt.  It doesn’t win us anything, only sets us square.  Cooperate with them, Councilors.  Reinstate them as recognized contributors for the galaxy.  Help them find room to grow, expand, and direct it in the way you want instead of it bursting at the seams into an invasion.  If you help them, you help yourselves.  You’ll be seen as magnanimous.  That breeds loyalty, which can also pass through generations.  You don’t easily forget, and certainly don’t turn again the people who sacrificed to help you when you needed it most.”

They regarded her silently.  Councilor Mason smiled at her.

“Spectre, you’ve been at our meetings for months.  You have a lot to say for never saying anything.”

The other councilors sat quietly.  Sparatus picked up his stack of datapads and held them to his chest.

“Thank you, Spectre.  We will think on this,” Tevos said.

Shepard nodded and left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 

 Shepard leaned over the bar staring down into the shallow remains in her glass.  The bartender reached for it.  She slapped a hand on top of it.

“I’m still drinking that.”

“Another?”

“Better not.”

The man shrugged.  He moved down the bar at a turien waving an empty cup. 

“Commander Shepard, right?”

A gorilla of a man sat next to her on a stool.  She frowned clutching her glass and turned on her barstool.  She hopped off.

“Where you going?  I wanted to buy …”

She was already halfway across the bar.  Really a seedy kind of place.  Too techno and low-lifed even for Garrus.  The whole time, he’d looked around them wondering who they’d see knifed first.  He’d wondered if they’d still make the morning news if drug authorities burst through the door right then.  Either way, it was a perfect place for right now.  Except, she wished she didn’t look like Commander Shepard.  A group of men in the corner leered at her as she passed.  She flopped down in a corner booth and glared at a quarrian crossing the room toward her.  He stopped.  She glared harder, and he backed up and turned back to the bar.

She rested back into the bench cushions and pushed her glass around in front of her on the table.  Her Omni-Tool flickered on, and she squinted into the orange glow.  She’d missed a call from Miranda.  Shepard deleted the prompt.  She was tired of playing the sick patient.  Pages of news footage flipped across on the screen under her fingertips.  Her fingers paused.  She rested her head back on the bench and smiled staring at the screen.

“Who’s that?” a voice said over her shoulder.

Shepard bolted upright and snapped the Omni-Tool screen down.  Aria T’Loak slid her fingers along the top of the bench as she circled around and sat beside her.

“Aria.”

“Commander Shepard.”

“What’re you doing here?”

“On Earth or in the Dungeon?  Surely, you knew I was on Earth?”

“I’d heard something about it.”

Aria reclined into the seat.  Shepard edged over as Aria folded her legs out under the table.

“No bodyguards?” Shepard glanced around.

“I can take care of myself.”

“I thought it was more for status.”

“What status?” Aria hissed.  “You heard what happened to Omega?  You helped me retake it.  Shouldn’t have bothered.”

“Yeah,” Shepard murmured.  “Reapers don’t really seem to care about the effort I put into things.  If there was something worth destroying, they helped themselves.”

“So they did,” Aria said looking over at Shepard.  “You’re the first face I’ve cared to see in who knows how long.”

“Haven’t made any friends?”

“I have my hired connections.  Mercs here and there.  Hoped to still be useful to the Council but apparently not.  Alliance seems to agree.”

“Your Blue Suns shot down two Alliance cruisers.”

“ _My_ Blue Suns?” Aria rolled her eyes lazily.  “Everyone knows they aren’t my Blue Suns.  They threw me off, took off on their own.  I didn’t direct them to steal that warship.  Wouldn’t have bothered.  Now what good are they?  They’re fugitives dashing around the Sol system hitting cargo vessels to find their next meal.”

“Yeah, well, you conveniently lost control of them right before they killed a hundred Alliance personnel.”

“Lost control?” Aria said softly.  “You have no control without fear.  Hard to inspire fear while I’m stranded here.  Power over no one.  Power over no thing.  Laughing stock of the Council.   And the Alliance.”

“They’re giving you some award, aren’t they?” Shepard asked with a sigh.

“A medal and a plaque?  Think that makes up for not backing me on Omega?  On the Citadel, my mercs killed themselves supporting my agreement with the Council.  Omega gets targeted?  Nothing.  Apparently, a Council aid agreement works one way.”

“Everyone’s aid agreement worked that way.  It was war on a galaxy wide level, Aria.”

“Wouldn’t even let me recall my mercs.  Now Omega’s a floating cloud of dust in the Terminus system.”

“Like Arcturus, like Betariuva, like Taurten.” Shepard sighed again.

“And, will a plaque make up for what you’ve lost, Shepard?  We can get our picture together at the award ceremony I hear.”

“Sure.  Let’s plan on it.” Shepard gazed droopily around the room.

Aria eyed her with a sly smile.   “What are you doing here?  All alone.  The great Commander Shepard.”

Shepard tapped the glass in front of her as an answer.  A thin veil of amber sloshing around the bottom.

“Looks almost empty,” Aria said.

“Eh, just not full.” Shepard put an elbow on the table and moved the glass around with her other hand.  “Not full at all.”

Aria stared at her.  “Commander Shepard has rough nights, too, then.”

“You’re having a rough night?” Shepard asked.

“Every night is a rough night.” Aria spread her arms across the back of the bench.  “I’m a nobody now living on a planet of ingrates.”

“Planet of ingrates?” Shepard frowned.  “Losing Omega’s made you pretty sour.  Everyone’s in the same boat.  We all lost something.”

“Right,” Aria muttered looking around the room, then turned her attention back to Shepard. 

Shepard picked up her glass and swallowed the last mouthful.

“That, what you lost?” Aria asked.  “Your little picture there?  News vid, was it?”

“What?” Shepard frowned.

“On your Omni-Tool.  Don’t bother to be coy. I saw it.  Mooning over some man?”

“No.” Shepard shoved her glass away and sat back in her seat.

“I recognized him.  One of your crew.  I looked into them before deciding I couldn’t trust them to recover Omega.  I was right to trust you though, for a time.  Still, wouldn’t have trusted them.  And him?  I saw the same news footage -- Europe, some bust outside of Prague.  Poor skittering little terrorist didn’t have a chance.”

Shepard shrugged a shoulder.  “Keeping current.”

“Don’t patronize me, Shepard.  Please.  You think I care?  You screwing some crewmate?”

Shepard’s back snapped straight.  “This conversation’s done.”

Shepard scooted on the bench to get out on the other side.  Aria snagged her arm in a vice.  Shepard’s nostrils flared as she whipped around.  Aria let go with a smile.

“Touchy, I see.”

“See what?” Shepard snapped.

“Hey, let me give you some advice.  You gave me some help once.”

“Once?  More than once, Aria.  I don’t need advice.”

“Yes, you do.” 

Aria grabbed Shepard’s arm again.  Shepard wrenched her arm away, but Aria kept hold.

“Aria!”

“Heard you may be walking around with a target on your back.  Got a lot of criminal underworld sorts and uniformed ones as enemies, Shepard.”

“Not news.” Shepard sighed.

 “My advice is this.  Make yourself strong, protect yourself, don’t let them use your weak spots.”

“Weak spots?”

“Ah, you know your weak spots.” Aria grinned.

“Well, I twisted my right ankle once.  Never been the same.”

Aria watched her coolly.  She drummed her fingers on the back of the bench.

“Ankle or heel, Shepard?  There’s a story here about a mighty soldier whose only weak point was the back of his foot.  It brought him down.”

“And what’s my weakness then, Aria?”  Shepard asked.

“You were looking at it earlier, Shepard.  Those sorts of attachments don’t turn out well.  Your Achilles heel.  People like us need to be strong the whole way through.”

“You’re just saying this because of Nyreen.” Shepard rolled her eyes.

“Nyreen wasn’t my weakness.  I said goodbye to her long before we met again on Omega.  She killed herself so stupidly, but it didn’t derail me.  It didn’t make me weaker, because I didn’t let it.  I retook Omega.”

“And, see what that got you -- stranded on Earth with a few rag tag merc bands for company and accepting a plaque at the Summit, instead of sitting your throne on Omega.”

“Oh, no one screws with me, Shepard.  I always rise to the top.  If I let myself have weak spots, I wouldn’t have lasted even this long.  Just remember -- an enemy worth fighting will know where to look when it matters.”

“Well.” Shepard pushed off the table with her palms and stood.  “This has been great.  Worth the catch up.  Run into you next time I’m miserable.  We can complain over our plaques when we get them, and … get that picture.”

Shepard turned to the door.

“Careful your heel, Shepard.  Injure your foot, and even a strong soldier’s crippled.  And if you’re crippled on the battlefield, I think you know what happens.”

Shepard waved her off and moved through the crowd.  Everyone around the bar stood unmoving and transfixed.  Shepard sighed shoving through a group of leather clad humans.  Shepard followed their eyes to the bar.  Overhead the monitors flashed the same news story on multiple channels.  A glass shattered behind her, and one of the turiens in the corner stood up.

“The primarch’s dead?” he said, voice barely raised, but it could be heard through the bar.  Only a slow jukebox tune played in the background.

 Even Aria looked over the back of the bench.  Shepard frowned watching the footage.  Found dead in the Vancouver turien embassy.  Terra Firma was getting bolder.   


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 

Shepard strode down the hall to the exit.  The HQ lawn peeked through the windows as she neared  She’d check again.  The Alliance hallways bustled with officers off to meetings and planning assignments.  The comm buoys were starting to come online. 

Palavan had finally learned of the Primarch Victus’s death.  Shepard had read the Spectre report.  Another poisoning, though there was no doubt biotics were involved.  Apparently, you needed a wheel house of tricks if your job was killing people without advertising the fact it was hit.  The news channels hadn’t announced it as an assassination, but Alliance intel and the Council knew.

The exit doors slid open to gray skies and a puddled lawn.  Shepard stopped short in the doorway with a smile.  She’d finally caught him.  He stood with a man and woman down the walkway in the gardens.  Admiral Hackett turned to her as she neared.

He sighed.  “Commander Shepard.”

The wind whipped her hair back as she splashed across the leaf-strewn walkway.  She stopped in front of Hackett.  Two Alliance officers stood next to him.

“Commander Shepard?” said a blonde-haired officer.

He looked like a celebrity vid star, though his hair was thinning a little on the crown.  There was something familiar about him as he snapped her a salute.  The dimpled, dark haired woman next to him followed the motion.  Shepard gave a quick return salute, but she wasn’t here to meet random officers.  She turned to Hackett.

“Maybe we should meet in my office, Commander,” Hackett said.

“Out here’s fine.”

She knew he walked in the Memorial Gardens during lunchtime.  Rows of granite slabs emblazoned with plaques of names spread out towards a beach cliffside in the distance.  All those times checking the garden in between meetings, and she’d finally caught him.

“I’m Lieutenant Phil Mason.” The man put his hand out.

Shepard absently pumped his hand then paused.  She turned to look at him, then to the woman.

“The Councilor’s son and his daughter, Science Officer Alicia Mason.” Hackett nodded.

“Here visiting my mother’s plaque,” Alicia said.

Shepard nodded solemnly.  “The Tin Star, I remember.  She was a damn fine captain.  Sorry to hear about that.”

“The Blue Suns will pay,” Hackett said lightly.  “Eventually.”

Lieutenant Mason gave a tight smile.  “I don’t dwell on that.  But, Commander Shepard, the things you’ve done.  It really is an honor.”

“You’re a hero yourself, “Shepard remembered.  “The Battle of Bulgle.  Excellent work, Lieutenant.  Heard you’ll be recognized at the Summit.”

“Alicia, too,” Phil nodded at her.  “Helped in the Fischer evacuations.  Evacuated hundreds of researchers and clerical staff.  Almost single handedly.”

Shepard gave Alicia smile.  “Science officer with a gun then?  Met a few of those.  Impress me every time.  Couldn’t have cured the genophage without that recovered data and the researchers from Fischer.”

Alicia’s face hardened.  Her smile seemed forced as she tipped her head in acknowledgement.

“Didn’t realize that data was used for the genophage.”

Shepard tried to smooth her frown at the comment.  The genophage cure did have its opponents, though maybe it was just aliens in general this woman didn’t like.  They exchanged a few more pleasantries before the officers took their leave.  Admiral Hackett turned to Shepard with a sigh.  He pulled his overcoat tighter.  The gray skies drizzled over them. 

“Do anything for the holidays, Shepard?”

“Would’ve liked to take my ship out for a spin.”

“Maybe that’s something you should discuss with Admiral Wilson.” Hackett started back to the Alliance building.  “You seen the new formal Alliance gardens to the west?  Plan to hold functions there next summer, I believe.”

Shepard stepped in beside Hackett.  “Come on.  You’ve avoided me for months.”

“Holiday recesses, Shepard.”

“And Barcelona …”

“A lot going down in Europe, Shepard.  If you catch the vids.”

“I know.  Terra Firma.”

“They’re planning something.  Something big.”

“Sir,” Shepard growled.  Hackett frowned, and she softened her tone.  “Please.  Admiral Wilson will hardly talk to me.  He’s let my crew roster hang in limbo.  I’m going to lose the people I’ve trained.  What’s the hold up?  I’m going to Council meeting after council meeting, going over resource budgeting in Alliance conference rooms.  I’m asked for strategic input on projects I’m not allowed to actually be involved in.  I’m twiddling my fingers here.  If the Alliance can’t use me …”

Hackett stopped.  “Okay, Shepard.  You know the Council and Alliance have been at a stalemate on things.  They’re coming to the point where they either need the Mass Shard or the relay sits there half finished.  Trust me.  Admiral Wilson will be sitting down with you in the next few weeks.  That’s what I know.  I really shouldn’t be telling you anything.  You report to Admiral Wilson, not me.  But, I imagine that’s why you caught me out here.”

“If someone saw me in your office, I didn’t want Admiral Wilson storming down to collect me.”

Hackett sighed.

“What about this XO I’ve been assigned?  Man’s been trailing Wilson and the Flight Admirals around to all their meetings.  I’ve hardly spoken to him.”

“Wait another week or two.  You’ll get your marching date, Commander.”  His tone seemed final.  He gave her a pat on the arm and walked away to headquarters.

The message light flashed on Shepard’s Omni-Tool.  She pulled her eyes away from Wilson’s retreating back and punched it up with a frown. Just Miranda again.  Shepard punched out a quick message putting her off again and sent it.  Shepard was tired of being poking and prodding.  She could just catch Miranda later. The Council hearings were starting soon.  The one on Rachni activity might actually be worth sitting through. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 

Lights pulsed in the darkness outside the nightclub as Shepard hopped out of the sky car.  A year ago, the club had been a warehouse in downtown Vancouver.  Now, it was a place to forget about the last year.  Or years.  Though it was only the last one and a half she really wanted to forget.  The ones before that had been the best years of her life.  She still felt a ping thinking of the relay being finished.  She’d barely seen anyone, but at least for now, they were here.

Garrus sat facing the bar.  Shepard moved through the crowd with a grin.  Her eyes fell on the man leaning next to him at the bar.  Her eyes widened.  James raised his glass to her.

“Shepard,” Garrus said spinning around on his stool.

“Lola.”  James took a drink from his glass.

“Hey, Garrus.  James, didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Same here.” He grinned motioning to the bartender to bring Shepard a drink.  “Make plans too far in advance, fun’s gone.  Aburrido.”

“I guess.”

“Shepard,” Garrus said.  “You didn’t say anything about Vega joining your crew.  No one likes being out of the loop, makes a friend feel like you don’t care.”

“Only found out myself last week.  Didn’t know I’d be waiting over a month for a reply.  Thought my message went straight to your spam folder, James.”

“Nah, Lola.  You know how I feel about plans.”

He passed her a pint of beer from the bartender. The foam sloshed on her hand.

“Hey, steady there.” James laughed.

Garrus set an empty glass on the counter behind him.  “We’ve been waiting a while if you can’t tell.  I know on Earth, they say it’s fashionable to be late, Shepard, but for a woman I’ve only seen wear three outfits, I didn’t realize you cared about that stuff.”

“Hey. It’s not like you’re sporting a new look each time you hit the town.”

“Please.” He leaned back against the bar.  “I changed my visor color to yellow.  Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.”

“I was at a Council meeting.  Ran late.”

“Sure, Lola.  I always use that one too.”

“Right.”  She clinked glasses with James then looked at Garrus’s empty hands.  “Better get another, Garrus.”

“Shepard.”  He shook his head with a sigh.  “You just want me singing the turien battle song again.  It’ll take more than just one more.”

“I’m buying.”

“Well, then.  Okay.”

Shepard waved to the bartender.

“How’s the acting ambassador of the quarians?” Shepard asked.

“Sick.  Again.”

James chuckled.  “Wow, Garrus.  Again?”

“She’s a brave kid.”  Garrus accepted a full glass from the bartender.  “Gotta be hard being in love with a Petri dish.”

“Love, huh?” Shepard said.

“Oh, don’t raise your eyebrows at me, Shepard.  Eight months on Earth, I know what raised eyebrows mean.”

James bobbed to the beat.  It pulsed deep in the bones from the overhead speakers.

“Yeah!  This is a good one.”

“Love though?” Shepard leaned forward against the bar and looked over at Garrus.  “I’m happy for you, Garrus.  I really am.”

“I know you are, Shepard.”  Garrus raised his glass in her direction and took a gulp.

“Hey.”  James stretched between them and plopped his glass on the bar.  “I’ll be back.  See something I gotta see some more of.”

He wound his way through the dance floor.  Shepard watched over her shoulder.

“I’d call that swaggering.  Wouldn’t you, Shepard?”

Shepard twisted around and settled her back against the bar.  “You have become quite the observer of human body language.”

“Well, I need something to do.  Been too long since I shot something.”

“I hear ya.”

James danced up to an asari.  She faced him raising her arms and moving with the beat.  They danced trading moves back and forth before he leaned into her ear.  She glanced away with a smile.  He stretched his neck to look through the dancers until he found Shepard and Garrus at the bar.  He winked and made a firing motion with both hands, then he turned and followed her deeper into the crowd.

Garrus looked over at Shepard.  “That will take some more study.  No idea what he just said.”

“I think he found himself a date.”  Shepard sipped her drink.

“Wow.  Quick.  If I wasn’t all settled down …” Garrus gave an exaggerated sigh.  “I need to spend more time with Vega.”

“I don’t know if he operates well with a wingman.”

“If I was only a younger turien.  Right, Shepard?”

“Right?” Shepard sputtered into her cup.  “I have no idea about being a younger turien.”

“Yeah.  I don’t really know what I’m saying anymore.  Someone says ‘I’m paying for drink,’ and that’s the last thing I usually remember.”

“Didn’t realize turiens and humans had so much in common.”

“Well, we both like our alcohol.”  He raised his glass.  “Now, some people I know, last thing remembered is how the first sip tasted.”

“Couldn’t imagine who you mean, Garrus.”

“Yeah.” 

Pink lights streamed across his face as he watched the dance floor, tapping a talon on the bar to the beat. 

“He’s really not coming back, is he?” Garrus said.

“No.  I don’t think so.”

Garrus twisted to face her.  “So, the Normandy, huh, Shepard?  Anyone else I know on board?”

“Joker, of course.”

“You ever flown the Normandy with another pilot?  I think you’ve been together longer than most human marriages.”

Shepard made a show of rolling her eyes.  “This means I’m scoffing you.”

“Noted.  But really.  Who else?  James, Joker …”

“Adams.”

“Adams?  Excellent.  Good work there.”

“And Cortez, too, with the shuttle.”

“More friendly faces than I thought, then.  Surprised so many wanted back.  We were all drawing lots to be the first person off the ship.”

“It’s been long enough.  I guess they’re missing space.”

“Hmm, maybe just missing you, Shepard.  It was quite the ride.”

“That, it was.”

Only a shallow swish of beer filled the bottom of the cup.  She sloshed it around watching it foam.

Garrus sighed.  “Not too long now the relay will be fixed.  Comm buoy’s already connecting to Palavan.  They’re devastated about the primarch, of course.”

“Shocking.  I’m sorry.”  Garrus inclined his head but didn’t say anything.  Shepard sighed.  “Pretty bold assassin to get into the embassy.”

“Bold?  Skilled, I’d say.  Damned good biotic, but let’s not talk shop.”  He leaned back on the bar.  “This time next year, granted progress continues on the relay, I’ll be back in Palavan.  Home.  Been a long time, Shepard.”

“And Tali?”

“Well, we’ve talked about it, of course.  There are things needing me back on Palavan, a lot that’s fallen apart.  They’re rebuilding even now though.  Once we get the fleet back, check on things … I imagine some time abroad would be nice.  Maybe stay groundside for a while.”

“On a certain quarian home world?”

“The brochures really sell it.”

Shepard leaned back on her elbows.  “Must really be love then, Garrus.”

“Well, I didn’t say otherwise, Shepard.  Maybe you can book your next vacation for a time you’ll be passing by.”

Shepard smiled into the pulsing lights.  Her Omni-Tool buzzed.  She brought up the messages, and her face brightened.  She looked over at Garrus with a grin.

“Hope Vega’s packed.  Just got a message from Admiral Wilson.  Looks like I finally have a departure date.”


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 

Miranda put her hands on her hips with lips pursed.  Her apartment was as cluttered as last time Shepard had been here.  Granted, that hadn’t been anytime recent.  Maybe she had put off Miranda too long.

“Tomorrow?” Miranda said.  “You tell me this tonight.  How long have you known?”

“Your tone really makes me want to hedge that question.”

“You’ve probably known for weeks.  You tell me now like a second thought.  You’ve been feeling well, doesn’t mean you’re ready.  And, no medical officer either.  Shepard!”

“You know we’re short on medical personnel.  It doesn’t make sense taking one person for twenty to fifty people when she could be here treating hundreds.  Some of the marines have medic training.”

“She?  Dr. Chakwas then.”

“She’s needed here.”

“Well, nothing to do for it now.”  Miranda put her hands out.  “I’m going to scan you at least.”

Miranda crossed the room to her desk.  She found a chip from a drawer and put into her Omni-Tool.  She fiddled with the screen as she wandered back.

“All right.  Hold—”

“I know,” Shepard said.  She closed her eyes and stood straight.

“If I find anything off, you’ll postpone the departure.”

Shepard resisted saying anything as Miranda brought the scan reader up her body.  Light glowed through her eyelids as it passed her face.

“You can move,” Miranda said.

“No way, it’s being postponed, Miranda.  You know how long this took?  It’s been ridiculous.”

Shepard sat the arm of the couch as Miranda looked over the results on her Omni-Tool.

“Clear.  You’re lucky I didn’t find anything, Shepard.”  The screen flickered off.

“I’ll be fine.”

“So sure?” Miranda said standing across from her.  She folded her arms.  “You haven’t tried your biotics.  How long has it been?  Well over a year and half now.”

“Don’t count the months I was in a medical coma,” Shepard said.  “Are you forbidding me then?”

“I can’t forbid you from anything, Shepard.  You’re strong enough to try biotics.  Your cranial swelling is resolved.  Your system probably could’ve handled the metabolic load months ago.  We should have been trying a long time ago.  Introducing it back, taking little steps, scans, intervening if something went wrong.  That’s if you’d ever agreed to meet with me or answer a call.”

“I won’t use them, Miranda.  I’ve gone over a year.  I haven’t needed my biotics.”

“Shepard, you’ve been in board meetings not on the battlefield.”

“I’m not going to a battlefield.  Probably won’t even get to unholster a gun.”

Miranda shook her head and sighed.

“Miranda, I know how to use weapons.  If there’s any action, I’m more than just a biotic.  And, this mission isn’t about looking for a fight.”

“How long is it?”

“Might take a while.”

“A while?  Shepard!  You need to come back.  Soon.  Take a good two to three weeks so we can work this out.  Don’t go straight on another mission.  At least, promise me that.  There was something wrong with your L3 implant nine months ago, remember?”

“But, it went away, remember?  I never even felt anything.”

Miranda paced.  “That would be the problem.  How wrong would it need to be before you knew?  Without a doctor onboard, you won’t know.”

“Give me the Omni-Tool program.  Someone can scan me.  Communication hubs are back.  At least in while in Sol, I can send you the data.”

“And do what, Shepard?  What could I do from here if I found something?”

Shepard stared at her feet with a frown.  It was true.  She’d had weeks, months to deal with this.  She was just sick of being sick, she’d bolted at the first sign of freedom.  She didn’t want to know if something was wrong and slide backward. 

“I got tunnel vision,” Shepard looked up.  “You’re right.  I should have returned your messages and come to see you.”

“It would have taken minutes, Shepard.”

“I know.”

Miranda walked over to the desk and leaned an arm on it thinking.  She looked over at Shepard.

“You’ll have to be focused, Shepard.  If things heat up, stay on the sidelines.  You can lead from afar.”

“I can control myself, Miranda.”

“In the heat of battle, Shepard?  Reaching for your biotics won’t be reflexive?  In a fight, you give yourself over to it.  We all do.  Instinct and tactic, catching the windows, and opportunities.  All too easy to forget, Shepard.”

Shepard stared at her.  “Miranda, I don’t what to say.  I can’t go backward and fix it now.”

“Just listen, Shepard.  Stay out of the fighting.  Then come back soon as you can.  Plan some medical leave.  Your XO can handle it for a while.”

Shepard clicked her tongue.  “Not so sure about that part.”

Miranda frowned.  “Make arrangements.  When you get back, we’ll work this out.  And find a medical officer, Shepard.  The Alliance isn’t going to allow me on the mission.”

Shepard stood up.  “Thanks, Miranda.”

Shepard had been longing to draw her gun and stretching her battle legs, but now, maybe it was a good thing the trip just a retrieval assignment.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 

Shepard came up behind Joker’s pilot chair.  Four and a half years, nearly five since she’d stood on the first Normandy, Captain Anderson’s XO.  That was the first time she knew she had found her place: Commander of the Normandy.  Things were finally becoming right again. 

“All right, Joker.  Let’s move out.”

Lieutenant Commander Anchor waited a step behind in her peripheral vision.  He stood tall, feet apart, hands behind his back.  He probably pictured himself as the hero of a real-life space adventure vid.  He’d never served on a ship before, at least, not for any real length.  Earth’s atmosphere blued the cockpit windows before darkening into an expanse of space.  Joker’s wide grin reflected in the glass.

“We’re out,” he said.

“Good,” Shepherd said. 

She turned on her heel to the CIC.  Anchor followed. Servicemen glanced up as she passed.  There were so many new faces.  It would take a while.  But here they were: on their way.  Shepard leaned against the railing stared down over the galaxy map.  Elliom.  It was a long way off for FTL.

 

* * *

 

Shepard blinked awake and sat upright.  She stared around in the dim light and fumbled for the clock by her bed.  It was still early, probably too early, and too little sleep.  With so many days of sunrises and sunsets, it was going to take a while settling back to normal again.  She craned her neck up and smiled at the window.  Comforting to see the stars again, though.  They did look closer from here.  The empty fish tank cast a glow over the room as Shepard dressed.  She scooped cold water up in her face, and she was felt ready and invigorated.  Everything could be right again.

Shepard stopped by the medbay to see how Dr. Chakwas was settling in.  Miranda's grim words had convinced Shepard that a medical provider might not be such a selfish thing.  Depending on whether they found survivors, one might be needed.  Dr. Chakwas had only been too eager to run back for her bag and meet Shepard at the docking gate.  Shepard had always admired that about Dr. Chakwas, always up for a new adventure, even short notice.  

Everything getting settled in the med bay, Shepard took the elevator to the shuttle bay.   Cortez and James stood with their backs to the elevator going over something on a console.  Cortez seemed to catch her in the edge of his vision.  He turned.

“Commander Shepard.”

“Cortez.  Glad to see you aboard.”

“Couldn’t say no, Commander.”

The bay bulged with rows of towering crates packed tightly with supplies.  A couple of service men squeezed between the rows to reach something in the back of the bay.

“They loaded more stuff than I thought,” Shepard said.

“Glad you’re saying it first, Lola.  You know, I used to work on stuff down here.”

“Guess you’ll be cramped or find another nook.”

“This?” James waved at the crates.  “Cramped?  That ain’t nothin’ compared to the crew quarters.  What are we carrying, like fifteen extra engineers for the relay?”

“Seventeen.   I know, close quarters.  We’ll drop them off on the way.  We’re unload some of these supplies too.  It’s just a few days.”

“Sure, Lola.  Hope you’re thinking about us from your penthouse.”

“Hey,” Cortez said.  “This quarian technology.  It really stretches our fuel reserves, but all this piping, that coolant accelerator over by the shuttle.  Flammable stuff.”

“Right.” Shepard twisted her head around following the pipework.  It was an extensive system.  “I know about it.  Just be safe down here.”

“And this shuttle?” Cortez waved at it.  Shepard peered at it with a frown.  “You know our other shuttle crashed in London before the Normandy evac’ed me?  This replacement?  Old, old, old.  Had to dust off a paperback to figure it out.”

“Yeah.” Shepard eyed the shuttle.  “Guess resources are short.  Still, should have caught that before we left.  You can make it work?”

“Oh, it works.  Works fine.  It’s just between the quarian fuel recirculatory down here and that antique shuttle, it’s a lot of volatile stuff.”

“Tell her about the warm up,” James said.

“Yeah, and the warm up on these types.  Pretty damn easy to overload.  Then it’ll just take off.”

“Take off?”

“Take off.  Straight ahead right into the bulkhead at the end.  Boom.”

“Let’s be conscientious then,” Shepard said.

The elevator doors slid open behind her.  James bumped Cortez’s shoulder and pointed off with his chin. 

“Later, Commander.”  James stalked off.  “I’m gonna find something to fix.”

Shepard turned around.  Anchor stood at a parade rest waiting for her.

“A moment, Commander?” he asked.

“Lieutenant Commander.  What is it?”

Anchor glanced at Cortez, who picked up a tool kit.  Anchor’s eyes followed him on his way to the shuttle.

“Did you have something to say?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Shepard waited.

“About that day in headquarters a while back.  I think we got off on the wrong foot.  I know the chain of command.  I only want to collaborate here.”

Shepard frowned.  “We don’t collaborate here, Lieutenant Commander.  I’m in charge. You’re my XO.  What I say goes.  Long as you understand that, I’m open to input, but there’s no collaboration per se.  I’m the final word.”

Anchor’s mouth twisted up in one corner with a smile.  “Understood. Of course.  That’s what I meant, ma’am.”

“I hope you did.” 

She moved past him to the elevator.  He was still smiling with that crooked look as the elevator doors closed between them.

 

* * *

 

“You had a break yet?”  Shepard came up behind Joker.

Joker twisted his head enough to see her.  “I’ve seen sardines less crowded than this, Commander.  Where’m I to go?”

“You still have a bunk, right?”

“Yeah, every twelve hours.  Have to get my own sheets out each time.  Thank you.”

Shepard let out a slow breath and walked over to the copilot’s chair.  She sank down. Joker’s face hardened.  He busily flipped through screens on the dashboard.  He moved them back and forth so fast there was no way he was actually looking at any of it.

“I don’t want it like this, Joker.”

“’Like this’?”  Joker asked.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means.  I’ve hardly seen you the last few months, and when I do, it’s like this.”

He scrolled over to another screen.  He punched a button then unpunched it then flipped to a new screen.

“Fine.”  She stood up and started out the cockpit.

“You want to talk?  Share feelings and braid each other’s hair?” Joker twisted around in his seat.

Shepard turned back.  “Doesn’t have to be feelings.  I just want you to shoot straight with me, Joker.”

“Off the record?”

“You’re seriously asking me to go off the record?  Say you want something on the record, I’ll pay more attention.”

“Funny,” Joker said flatly.

“Go ahead.”  Shepard nodded.

“Whatever you did on the crucible something about it killed EDI.  I know it doesn’t make sense to blame you or whatever.  That’s why I didn’t say anything.  It just sucks knowing you’re here and she’s not.  She wasn’t a machine to me.”

Shepard swallowed.  “She wasn’t a machine to me either, Joker.  I’m not saying she didn’t mean more to you, but I lost a friend too.”

“Yeah, but you got all your other friends back.  You’ll probably want to haul my ass to some Alliance shrink or something to work my feelings out, but you want the truth?”

Shepard took a step closer.  “Yeah.  I do.”

“When we found out you were alive, I hated it.  For months, we’re all feeling bad.  Together.  Then you’re alive and everyone’s all happy.  Everyone’s like, ‘It’s okay after all.  Smiles all around, folks.’”

“It was a hard time on everyone, Joker.  They needed good news.  Something to celebrate.”

“Us beating the hell out of the Reapers wasn’t enough?”

“It was a long time under a lot of strain.  Every piece of good news probably gave a little more hope in reaching the finish line.”

“They didn’t seem to be trying to find this ‘hope’ while I was searching through the circuit boards and pulling hard drives apart.  No one was crawling inside the ship with me to find EDI.  If EDI had been the one that came back instead of you, it would have been a completely different reaction.  All I’m saying.”  He swiveled back to the pilot controls.  “Commander.”

Shepard’s stared at the back of Joker’s head with a dry throat.

“Later, Joker,” she said finally and left.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 

Shepard stood over the galaxy map in the command center.  Footsteps tapped across the metal grates as Ensign Jane Alexander moved to the terminal behind her.  Memories of Kelly and Samantha made Shepard look to the side.  A week out and she was still surprised to see Jane’s owl-like face.

“Need anything, Commander?” she asked.

“No.  Thanks.”

Shepard turned and walked to the elevator.  The crew deck was a lot less crowded having dropped off the engineers.  The crew had better enjoy it.  It was going to be another cramped ride on the way back if they found the survivors.  She’d have to think of something better than sharing bunks.  It may work for a few days but not over a month.  They’d need to set up cots, maybe use the lounge and observation deck, any nook and crannies.  Dr. Chakwas said she'd make room in the med bay.  Thinking of the state survivors may be in, Shepard was again glad she'd listened to Miranda about bringing a medical officer.  One less detail to be worried about if they brought more people aboard.

Anchor came around the corner from the mess hall.  Shepard grimaced as she heard his footsteps pass by the elevator and continue up behind her. She walked to the observation deck, and he came in on her heels.

“I think we’re passing Gagarin Station,” he said. 

He strolled past her to the observation deck’s window.

“What are you up to, Lieutenant Commander?”

He gazed out the glass.  “That station’s seen a lot of uses.  I wonder how they’re doing on supplies.  Hard enough getting by on Earth.  Must be a hard life on a station.”

Shepard folded her arms and glanced back at the door.  He’s been on good enough behavior so far, but she couldn’t help trusting her gut.  Maybe it wasn’t Anchor affecting her gut though.  It was what he represented – a new act in her life, a new chapter opened.  It should be exciting, and it had been exciting the first few days in space again.  But reality was starting to return.  Compared to what she before, maybe everything here on out would be small and muted. She’d reached her high point.  All that remained was mediocracy.

She sat on the bench facing the window.  Anchor put a palm on the window and leaned forward.  Shadows deepened, and it was Kaidan leaning against the window with his hand spread on the glass.  His head turned slightly as if hearing her there, and a chill ran up her neck.  Her hair started to rise as his hand dropped away from the window.  He statred to turn.  Shepard’s heart beat in her throat.  Anchor tapped on the glass.  Shepard shivered, and the image faded away like fog.

“Commander, there it is.  Jump Zero.”

Shepard’s hand slipped into her uniform pocket, and her fingers dug around in the lining.  She touched the cool metal of the silver button she’d found in her cabin.  Anchor twisted against the window, probably to see it better as it entered the window. 

It was distant.  She wondered what she had expected to see.  It was too small to see any detail or appreciate its size, just a tiny shining spot among the stars.  Anchor stood back with his hands on his hips.

“Hard to see.   A few other stations out here we’re sure to pass, but nothing like that one for all the history and human investment.  Right, Commander?”

“Hmm.” Shepard leaned back in her seat.

Anchor strolled across the window.  He took a seat beside her, leaned back, and crossed his leg over his knee.

“They trained biotics there once.  Not me.  I have amazing dexterity, but I’m too weak,” he said.

Shepard didn’t say anything.  Biotic dexterity, true dexterity, was a difficult skill to master.  Aside from asari matriarchs, Shepard had only seen one biotic who’s biotic dexterity she’d call amazing.  Anchor probably couldn’t biotically tie his shoelace even with his hands touching the laces.  She could barely do that though, and she wasn’t weak.

 The spot drifted by.  Even at thruster speed it shot by quickly.  They still had an hour or so until FTL.  Joker’s ten month return tour made him pretty damn good at charting FTL jumps.  Fifty hours nonstop and you needed an offload.  No one wanted to be here when it saturated, and without relays there was a lot of dead space. 

“Did you go there, Commander?” Anchor asked.

“No.”

He knew that.  He seemed to know quite a lot about her records.  Maybe he was just trying to promote conversation though.

“Major Alenko was in that program I heard.”

Shepard’s spine stiffened.  He gave her a fanged smile.  

“You were his CO, right?”

“How do you know about that?  Those files are sealed.”

Anchor shrugged.  “It’s common knowledge.  It’s not as though it’s a secret.  I’m sure he’d have talked about it if you asked.”

Shepard stared at him a cold moment then stood.  Anchor put his foot back on the floor and twisted in his seat as she passed.

“Something bother you, Commander?”

“I’ve taken enough of a break.  No doubt there are things requiring your attention as well.”

“Did I say something wrong?” Anchor stood.  “Something about the major maybe?  About the sealed files?”

His doe-eyes clashed with the half smirk playing on his lips.

“Get up to the commander center.  We’ll be out of non-quantum comm range at the end of next week.  Check with the Alliance for the latest fuel exchange system update.  Our engineers can’t have any questions left before we’re on their own.”

Anchor gave a lazy nod and moved to pass her.  Shepard caught his arm.

“Lieutenant Commander?”

Anchor looked her in the eye and his mouth stiffened.

“Lieutenant Commander?” Shepard repeated.

“Aye, aye, ma’am.”

Shepard nodded and released his arm.  “I thought we weren’t going to have any problems, Anchor.”

“Apologies, Commander.  Permission to leave?”

“Yes.”

He brushed past her out the door with arms fixed rigidly at his side.  Shepard touched her face.  Hot skin radiated against her fingertips.  He clearly knew what he was bringing up.  They hadn’t shared enough casual conversation for it to be offhanded.  That slippery smile made her teeth grind.  He couldn’t actually think she’d confide in him.  He must be trying to get under her skin.  It had worked.

She glanced back at the window.  A spectral shadow blotted out the stars.  It turned toward her.

“Shepard …”

Shepard rushed out from the observation deck.  She slammed her fist on the close button and rushed to the elevator.  She kept her back to the observation deck until the elevator doors finally opened, then she bolted inside.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 

Shepard lay in her cabin in the darkness.  She should be sleeping.  The less time she left in her XO’s hands the better.  He’d slunk around avoiding her all week.  They hadn’t said much since the observation deck.

The message screen glowed on her desk, and she pulled out the chair.  They would be out of range to receive messages from Earth soon.  Tali had messaged her.  Without quarian included in the crew, she was concerned about the fuel recycling system.  She’d sent all the extra information she could think.  She ended the message with chit chat on her ambassadorial duties and how she’d run into Samantha Traynor at Headquarters. 

Confidential reports on colony terror attacks drew her eye.  Most of the colonies were well beyond the range to directly communicate with Earth.  Terra Firma must have quite the network to coordinate all their hits, and the attacks did seem coordinated.  Trials for Cerberus war criminals were underway.  Her message bulged with status updates, resource reports, and projections on everything from rebuilding the citadel to resupplying medigel.  The intercom flashed.  Shepard hit it and slouched back in her chair with a yawn.

“Shepard.”

“Commander?”

“James?”  Shepard sat upright frowning at the title.  “What’s going on?”

“Oh.  Nothin’, nothin’.  Need to talk is all.”

“Shoot.  Talk then.”

“Uh, in person.”

“Come on up then.”

Silence filled the other side.  Shepard sighed.  This was either irritating or concerning.  She wasn’t sure.  Maybe he thought she wasn’t ready for visitors, sleeping in her underwear or something.

“Nah, Lola,” he said finally.  “Just see ya in the shuttle bay sometime.”

“James.”  Shepard rolled her head back and rubbed her eyes.  “Just come up here.”

“I’ll, uh, see you down here.  Sometime.  Later.” His voice lowered to the background. “What?”

Cortez’s voice murmured too low to really hear.  Shepard narrowed her eyes at the comm.

“Uh, okay, okay.”  James muttered then his voice boomed back into the comm.  “So, uh, this is a shuttle problem.  Totally no big deal.  Just little equipment issue.  Just, uh … see you whenever.”

Shepard was already at her door when the comm clicked off.  She rode the elevator down tapping her foot and watching each floor pass.  When she walked out the elevator doors, James was still standing at the board of consoles near the comm.  Cortez leaned in to him gesturing with a low voice.  Her boot tapped toward them.  They looked over their shoulders at the same time.

“Now, what’s this about, James?  You’re really—”

“Commander!” Cortez rushed over and grabbed her arm.  His voice rose in volume.  “You didn’t need to get here so fast to look at the shuttle.  But since you’re here …”

He led her by the bicep toward the shuttle.  Shepard glanced back. Three crewmen reorganized crates and taking inventory.  They could finally organize the bay now that the relay’s supplies were offloaded. 

James stepped up behind Shepard, and Cortez twisted to look at him.  Cortez stopped and motioned to the tackle box at the base of the consoles. 

“Uh, bring the tools, Vega.  You’re strong.  Maybe you can help me with something here.”

Shepard’s head range with his booming volume.  James raised his eyebrows and made a click with his tongue. 

“Ah.  Okay.  You got it.”  He walked over to the tool box and snagged the handle.

Cortez turned back toward the shuttle pulling Shepard forward by her arm again.  The tools in the toolbox clattered behind her in rhythm with Vega’s footsteps as he followed.  They rounded the corner of the shuttle against the wall.  Stacks of crates walled off area in front of them at the nose of the shuttle.  Cortez pointed to the side of the shuttle.  Shepard tried to track where his finger was pointing, but it moved around as he looked back at Vega.  Then he strained around the corner as if to check on the crewmen.

“You’re going to move those crates, right?” Shepard pointed at the nose of the shuttle.  “If we need the shuttle in—”

“Of course, Commander, of course.” Cortez turned and waved her further back into the corridor between the shuttle and the wall.  He lingered at the shuttle’s corner.

“Did you bring it?” Cortez’s voice dropped turning to James.

James set down the tools down with a thud then straightened.

“Too busy carrying your damn tools, Esteban.”

Cortez glared and opened his mouth. 

“Yeah, I got it,” James said.  “Don’t freak.  Man, you’re worked up, Esteban.  Just chido.”

He patted Cortez’s back and shouldered up beside him blocking Shepard’s view around the shuttle’s corner.  She turned back to the shuttle and leaned in closer to the side panel.

“Now, what were you pointing at?  I’ve seen drunks point straighter, Cortez.”

James grinned widely with a chuckle and bumped Cortez with his elbow.  Cortez shoved him back with a flare of his nostrils.

“What the hell, James?  Cortez?”

Cortez’s eyes flew wide, and he motioned with his hands to keep her voice down. 

“Shhh.” Cortez darted a look behind them.

“No one’s looking,” Shepard said.

Cortez hissed.  “Are you sure?  You can’t see them from there, right?”

James rolled his eyes.  “Here you go, Lola.”

He stretched forward offering a datapad.  It glowed already turned on.  Shepard took a step forward and snatched it.  James straightened and crossed his arms.  He obviously didn’t intent to move from his walled off position next to Cortez.

“What’s wrong with you two?”

“Just!  We don’t -- can’t take much time.” Cortez sputtered crossing and uncrossing his arms.  His face gleamed with sweat.

James laughed.  “You wouldn’t make a good undercover—”

“James,” Shepard snapped in a low voice.  “Tell me what’s going on.  What is this?” Shepard waved the datapad at them.

“Okay, Lola.  So …” James attention drifted to Cortez who shifted and turned to look behind them.  James started to grin again, and Shepard waved the datapad at him.  “Oh, yeah. Well, that’s from Liara.” 

Shepard peered at the datapad.  “From Liara?”

“Well, yeah.  The message.  Not the datapad.”

It was an open email.  Her eyes scanned the top.  Shepard snapped her head up to look at Cortez.

“It’s addressed to you, Steve.”

“I don’t think it’s meant to be.”

“So, wrong address?”

“No, uh …” James’ head turned to something behind them.  He bumped Cortez in the shoulder.

Cortez spun at him spraying spittle.  “You do that again, Vega, I’ll—”

“Quiet,” James said under his breath and looked back to Shepard.  “Put that somewhere.”

“It’s a datapad,” Shepard said stepping in closer to see around them.  “It’d be more suspicious to be hiding one than looking at it.”

“Okay, Lola.  Commander.”

James turned sideways opening a view to Lieutenant Commander Anchor approaching.  The elevator doors clicked shut in the distance.  James leaned back against the shuttle, arms crossed, and looking bored.  Anchor stopped behind Cortez.  Cortez closed his eyes for a beat and drew in a deep breath.  He turned with a smile spreading across his face.  It was pretty obviously a fake smile, but Shepard suspected that’s all Anchor got from these two anyway.  So, it was probably normal.

“Commander,” Anchor said.  “Heard there were issues with the shuttle or something.”

Shepard cocked her head clutching the datapad in her hand as she crossed her arms.

“How did you hear that?”

Anchor shrugged.  “Word gets around.”

Shepard eyed him.  The look had some of the intended effect, because he shifted his weight back onto his heels and cleared his throat.

“Commander,” he added too belatedly.

“Status report?”

“What?” Anchor frowned.

“You were just on the bridge, right?  The CIC?”

“Yeah, yes, ma’am, of course.”  He regained composure and straightened.  “Status report, Commander.”

He launched into a rundown.  His voice picked up speed as he went.  James smirked meeting her eyes briefly before standing up from the shuttle and ambling away.  Cortez stood there frozen as Anchor finished.

“And that’s expected in five hours, ma’am.”  He almost looked about to salute.

Shepard pressed her lips together and gave a dismissive shrug. 

“All right.  Very good.” She stepped around him then paused.  “I want you to talk to Engineer Adams about something with me, Lieutenant Commander.  Come along.”

“Aye, aye.”  He nodded turning to follow her.

“And, Cortez.”  Shepard turned back. 

Cortez’s eyes widened.  His mouth caught in an unfading tight smile as he looked back at her under Anchor’s scrutiny.

“Yes, Commander?”

“Don’t be so upset about that next time.  You’re pushing yourself too hard down here.  It’s starting to show.”  She motioned at him with the datapad.  Cortez’s eyes grew bigger watching the datapad in her hand.  “Take a break.  Come back to the problems with the shuttle later.”

“Aye, aye, Commander.”  The words rushed over each other and Cortez saluted.

It didn’t seem necessary.  Too formal for the exchange.  But she had to return it.

Turning, she called back to him.  “And move those crates.  They’re blocking the shuttle.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 

Shepard kept the datapad tucked under her arm as they finished up with Adams.  They turned off the choppy comm.  The quarian consultant with the Alliance had been understandable enough.  Tali’s email had been helpful with Shepard mentioning a few things from it.  Anchor eyes had long ago glassed over.

“I didn’t realize you were going to be so thorough with this, Commander.” Adams grinned.  “With the fuel recycler covered.  We could go over the FTL propulsion jets.  The overload circuit breakers are in the cargo bay near the hangar doors.  Those crates have been blocking us access them for diagnostics.”

“Anchor, follow up on that,” Shepard said.

Anchor blinked as if bringing her back into focus then nodded.

“Another thing, Commander—”

“Sorry, Adams,” Shepard said.  “I’ll have Commander Anchor finish up with you next shift.  Anything you need, just send it his way.”

“Sure thing, Commander.”

Anchor shuffled out of engineering behind her.  He seemed as relieved to be dismissed as she was to get rid of him.

Shepard walked into the CIC and paused by the map.  Two weeks out and dropping out of comm range.  Only left with the QEC was going only going to add to the stir crazy.  James was probably going to go berserk after two and half months on a ship without action.

Thinking of James reminded her of the notepad under her arm.  She was on duty.  She couldn’t just go back to her cabin.  She taped a finger on it and gazed around the room.  A few ensigns eyed her curiously.  Her gaze landed on the planked gangway from CIC to the bridge.  She steeled herself and marched down the grates to the cockpit.  Joker looked over his shoulder enough to see her then turned forward again. 

“Commander.”

“Joker.”

She stood for a quiet moment behind his chair.  The engines gave a low hum as a blue sheen moved across the cockpit window.  Night cycles could be rather peaceful.  Joker glanced back at her again.

“You taking inventory of my technical competencies or something?  You’re just standing there.”

“Things all right up here?”

“Everything running smooth.  Forty hours at FLT.  Two light years to Amar II, gas giant, for static offload.  Estimated time of offload: about ten hours.  Planning immediate jump back to FLT for thirty hours.  Commander.”

“An acceptable short-term flight plan, Flight Lieutenant.  Continue on.”

Shepard moved to the copilot chair and sat.

“Again?” Joker groaned motioning to her.  “You know, that’s supposed to be for Michael.”

Shepard pulled the datapad out from under her arm and leaned back in the chair.  It lit up.  Joker shook his head and stared straight ahead.  The datapad’s screen loaded the page she’d seen early by the shuttle.  Again, she saw the address for Cortez.  The from receipt was definitely one of Liara’s accounts.  James must have recognized it too.  Two paperclip symbols signaled attachments.  She scrolled through the message first.

“ _Date: 3-1_ ”

That was more than a week ago.  She scrolled up and checked the date received and transmitted.  It wasn’t even a full day pass transmission from Earth.  It wasn’t impossible that the transmission had been delayed she supposed.

“ _Lieutenant Steve Cortez:_

_The following attachments may benefit your work on the Normandy.  You may wish to share them with your team.  Please direct any questions to your supervising officer._

_Regards, L.T_.”

So cryptic.  No wonder Cortez was spooked.  Shepard’s pulse quickened, and she tapped the first attachment.  The file came up filling the screen.  Shepard’s brow furrowed squinting at it.  She scrolled through it with a sinking feeling.  The whole thing was this way.  Damnit.  She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes for a moment.  Encrypted.  Great.  She closed out the file and brought up the second attachment.  It was two for two then, also encrypted.  Shepard’s jaw tightened as she stared at it.  It looked like the same type of code as the first attachment.  She could tell that much, and there was something familiar about it.  She held it closer, blinking, focusing and refocusing her eyes.  The message was from Liara, but maybe it actually was meant for Cortez.  He hadn’t seemed to think so though.  If it was really meant for her, then it should be able to be broken by her.  She needed –

Joker cleared his throat.  Shepard looked up.

“Good book?”

Shepard frowned.  “What?”

Joker pointed at the datapad.  “You seem kind of aggravated, Commander.  Your heroine choose the Illium tycoon instead of the farmhand?”

Shepard rolled her eyes with a grin.  Joker smiled limply then nodded at her datapad again.

“But really?”

“Maybe it’s your last flight report.  The spelling here, Joker …”

“Uh, I dictate those.  If you have a problem with the spelling, take it up with software.”

“You don’t proofread?”

“Commander, some of the crew doesn’t have time to read while on-duty.”

“It _would_ cut in on on-duty nap time.”

“That was one time!  I’d been awake for, like, twenty-one hours.”

“One time?” Shepard raised an eyebrow.  “One time caught maybe.”

“Only counts if you’re caught.”

Shepard lifted the datapad up again and squinted at it.  Something was there.  She just had to think about it.  Damn.  This was not one of her areas.  If Garrus was here ...  But, Liara knew who was on board.  She must have thought Shepard capable.

“Secret Spectre stuff?” Joker strained to see the datapad’s screen.

“No …” Shepard paused thinking.

Wait.  Shepard leaped up turning off the datapad.  She climbed around the consol.

“Hope she comes to her senses about the farm hand.”  Joker touched the bill of his hat.  “Come back anything for another awkward reading session.”

“Might take you up on that, Joker.”

Shepard rushed down the gangway and through the navigation room.  The quantum entanglement comm was through the old war room on the left.  The room wasn’t in use much anymore.  She walked up to the quantum entanglement’s consol. 

In theory, she knew how to do this.  She bent and typed in her primary Spectre ID code and passphrase.  She needed a date though.  She paused.  Today’s date didn’t seem right.  The late date on the top of the message though … Shepard typed it in.  She waiting staring at the console.  She wasn’t sure how long it would take to search the Council’s Spectre database for the code breaker for that date.  A green light blinked.  With her secondary Spectre ID submitted, the code was ready to interface.  She read the decoding sequence but it was too long to memorize.  She took a transfer data chip from her Omni-Tool, transferred the code, and then purged it from the QEC.  She headed back through the CIC.

“Jane, I have correspondence to attend to in my cabin,” Shepard said passing her to the elevator.

 

* * *

 

Out of the elevator, Shepard rushed into her cabin.  She pushed any clutter aside on her desk and grabbed another datapad.  It was going to take a while, but she was going to buy Joker a drink if this worked.  It had to work.  It was the only thing that made sense.

She fed the first document through her Omni-Tool with the datachip.  It read out into her personal, non-networked datapad.  Random symbols and letters transferred in actual letters and words.  Shepard let out a tight breath and watched the document decode line by line.  It appeared to be a report.  She scanned down the page.  Her eyes stopped on one name: Bram Anchor.  She went back to the top pulling up her chair.  She needed to read this word for word.

She rested her chin on a fist and read through it.  It was an internal document between Terra Firma members.  Several colony cells were named and their leaders.  It was Anchor’s name that she fixed on it.  He’d collaborated remotely while serving in the Alliance.  There was nothing overtly criminal about it.  The dates referenced predated Terra Firma’s evolution from political party to vigilante terrorist.  It didn’t mean Anchor and Terra Firma had cut ties either though.

She grabbed Cortez’s datapad and decoded the second document to her tablet.  It was Terra Firma again, but it wasn’t a report this time.  It was something different.  It looked like building plans for something.  It was pages long.  She rereading the sentences as she paged down.  She wasn’t an engineer.  She had enough trouble overriding controls on a door let alone understanding technical language like this, but some of the words meant something no matter your background.  This was a weapon of some sort, something involving mass effect fields and amplification.  Her eyes caught on one of the words – “orb.”  It seemed integral to the entire project.  She paused on the last page, schematics.  She frowned peering closer and enlarged the fine print along the bottom.  This was from the Prothean archives on Mars.  Terra Firma had gotten their hands on it somehow and must be planning to build it, whatever “it” was.  The connection to her didn’t seem clear, but there had to be one.  Her eyes strayed to the core of the diagram.  The orb.  Admiral Wilson had called the Mass Effect Shard a Meridian Orb.  Terra Firma had a schematic to use the Mass Effect Shard as a weapon.

Shepard sat back in her chair with a thunk staring at the datapad in her hand.  So, it was a document tying Anchor to Terra Firma and Terra Firma’s plans for weaponizing the Mass Effect Shard.  Liara had sources, true, but coming across this sort of intel couldn’t be random.  Assuming the authenticity of this mass effect weapon, the schematics should be restricted to the deepest cell members.  Unless Liara had established deep contact into Terra Firma, it seemed unlikely.

Shepard’s eyes wandered to the pile of folders and papers shoved to the corner of her desk.  She moved them aside, and her fingers touched the silver button.  Light glinted off the metal as she held it up.  No, this information may have been sent by Liara, but it hadn’t been discovered by her.  Liara might not have even known the contents.  It had Spectre encryption.  Shepard thought back.  She must have mentioned Anchor’s name that night in her apartment.  He must have remembered and recognized it in the data mined from the Terra Firma strikes.  It was a warning then.

It was a complicated way to get it to her.  There must be some concern her terminal, messages, or communications were monitored or hacked.  There must be suspicion all her crews’ messages were monitored.  Sending it to Cortez made sense in a way.  Distant enough but trustworthy enough to be a good recipient.  But, it was also from Liara.  Maybe in addition to keying on the recipient of a message, the senders were also flagged.  Likely, Kaidan had a direct red flag no matter whom he contacted onboard.  Being the shadow broker, she had several servers and round about ways of delivering information circumspectly.  Shepard recognized the sending address and the initials but most others wouldn’t.  Even with all that it had been encrypting.  Maybe it was to prevent Liara or Cortez knowing the information.  Maybe the concern for someone sorting the message’s contents was more than a precaution.  She stood up and placed the silver button on the glass shelf next to her empty hamster cage.  She deleted the original messages from Cortez’s datapad. 

She could review this all again later.  She transferred the decrypted documents to the data chip with the decoder.  Her eyes moved around room as the chip turned in her fingertips.  The display case of model ships rose over her desk.  She opened the glass and pulled down the geth dreadnought.  The data chip slid easily through a slot in the casing and clattered into the hollow middle.  Getting it out, that, would be a little more difficult. 

The other time she’d put a datachip in it, years ago now, she’d damn near cleaved the dreadnaught in two trying to get it out.  She had rattled it over her head so hard she’d loosened her teeth.  Finally, with it still lifted over her head, she'd fallen face first on the bed.  If she had to glue it back together, it’d never be the same.  It was a limited edition.  The dreadnought had lifted out of her hands as Kaidan pulled himself up and rested back against the headboard.  His skin ignited blue, and he squinted into the slot in the ship’s hull. 

She still hadn’t met a biotic, at least a human one, who could do the sort of fine detail manipulations he could.  Even at a distance when abilities began to wane, he could do little intricacies.  Maybe she could levitate a book on the other side of the cargo bay, but Kaidan could turn each page.  He could probably fold a page into a paper airplane for all she knew.  He wouldn’t be here helping her extract the datachip this time though.

Shepard’s smile faded as she stared down at the dreadnaught.  She slammed it back into the case and threw the door shut with a glassy crunch.  A jagged crack split up the glass.  She’d get the datachip out herself.  She’d just have to work at it.  She backed up and turned to the door.  She’d wasted enough time up here.  She was on duty.    


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 

Shepard stepped into the cargo bay.  Cortez wasn’t anywhere around, but she saw James working on a bench in the corner by the armory.  Some gauntlets, boots, and a chestshield lay on the workbench.

“Lola.”

He worked a rag in a circular motion over a helmet.  Shepard set Cortez’s datapad next to some gauntlets.

“You polishing that?” Shepard asked.

James shrugged, then held the helmet up for her to see. 

“Shiny, right?”

“I guess.”

“Hey, I’d rather be working out dents and paint abrasions.”

Shepard smiled.  “You’d have thought, we save the galaxy, only to wish we were back saving the galaxy again?”

James rest back against the workbench. 

“So, uh, Lola.” He tipped his head for her to come closer.  “You got what you needed?”

Shepard followed his eyes to the datapad.  She leaned against the table beside him.

“I think so.”

James nodded, turning the helmet, and starting to polish the other side.  Stofsky and Gayle ambled by discussing ammo inventory.  She was starting to get names now.  She knew about Stofsky growing up on Mars and Gayle’s wife still stranded on Eden Prime.  The bay felt so still with just the four of them.

“I bet this is just killing you.  So quiet,” Shepard mused.

“And not you, Lola?”

Shepard shrugged.  James twisted around for a canister on the workbench.  He rubbed more polish into the rag.

“Only Stofsky and Gayle here?  Think they’re paying attention?” Shepard asked.

“Let’s walk around a little,” James said.

James set the helmet and rag on the bench.  He turned down a row of crates, and she fell in beside him.

“I work at the that bench a lot,” James said.  “Just not really sure, you know?”

“You think someone’s listening?”

“Anchor seems damn fast on the spot anytime he’s _not_ wanted.  Says some weird crap.”

“Anyone else acting off?”

“Just him.”

“Any of the crew his friends?”

James shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Never seen them talking to him anyway.  Doubt it.”

James slowed as they neared the back of the bay.

“That why you wouldn’t come up earlier?” Shepard asked.  “You think my cabin’s bugged?”

“I dunno.”  James shook his head and sighed.  “Just …”

Shepard slowed her pace with him.  “Just?”

James stopped and faced her.  He glanced back down the aisle of crates.

“Shepard, that message.  All encrypted, right?  I figure Cortez and I, we don’t need to know, but that Anchor guy?  Think he’d like to find something on you, you know?”

“Find something on me?”

“Yeah,” James said.  “Some dirt or something.  Figured I better not come up.”

“Find something on me, huh?” Shepard pursed her lips.  “He’s connected to Terra Firma.”

James put his hands up.  “I don’t need to know.”

“I think the message was a warning.”  Shepard put her hands on her hips.  “I’ll see about removing him when we get back.  For now, we watch him.  As long as he’s just snoopy, we’re fine.  He seems to have friends on board or acts off, we reevaluate.”

“He’s a chingaquedito, but might be more.” James glanced back again.  “He was approved by the admirals, right?  Maybe there’s more to it than just snooping around in who’s sleeping with who.”

“We stick with the problems we can control at this point.  We can sort the rest out after the mission.”

James nodded.  They strolled back through the crates to the workbench.  Gayle stood at the consoles by the elevator.  Stofsky seemed to have left.

“No Anchor yet?  He must actually be asleep or something,” James said.

The elevator doors opened, and James tensed.  Cortez ambled out reading a datapad.  James chuckled and glanced at Shepard.

“Could have lost credits on that.”

“See you later, James.”

She passed Cortez with a quick smile and headed to the bridge.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

 

The glow of the fish tank undulated over the room as Shepard paced next to her bed.  What she really wanted was open space, a track or a firing range, anytime to escape this cooped up feeling.  The crew deck’s little gym just made her feel more caged in.  She’d spent too much time on Earth to feel cagey in her own ship.

She marched to the couch and sat down with a thud.  She was going to try it.  She’d been mulling it over since coming up to bed half an hour ago.  It would be a small trial.  Nothing big to start.  If that went well, then she’d see.  Dr. Chakwas’s scan earlier in the week hadn’t shown anything.  Shepard’s Cerberus implants were stable and body healed.  Dr. Chakwas didn’t even need to know.  She’d only try to dissuade her and make it into a bigger deal.  Shepard scanned the room.  The glass cabinet of model ships loomed overhead.  The reaper ship seemed fitting.

Her heart beat in her chest as she eyed it in the case.  It had been a long time.  She raised a hand and a blue veil rose from her skin.  The room brightening in an azure glow.  The skin tingled her arm as she motioned to the cabinet.  The clear door swung open.  The jagged crack up the corner grew as the door creaked on the hinge.  The reaper ship lifted radiated dark energy and floated down from the case.  She settled it onto the table in front of her knees.  The blue light faded away from around her, and she picked the reaper ship up in her hands.

She waited several minutes turning the ship over in her hands.  She had a vague headachy feeling but, otherwise, felt fine.  She stood and pacing with it.  She waited with every nerve alert to any warning sign.  The headache was swelling but nothing too bad.  A sharp pain throbbed behind her eyes.  She fumbled for the edge of the bed and dropped down.  She pinched the bridge of her nose.  Maybe it was getting a little worse, but it was still tolerable.  It really wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it could be.  A ringing burst through her skull and the pain splintered into pulsating crescendo.  She drew in a stabbing breath, seeing bright lights, and snagged at her the corner of her bed as she started to spin. 

 

* * *

 

Shepard’s eyes blinked open.  The carpet pressed against her cheek.  The reaper ship rested sideways on the floor in front of her face.  It was missing one of the claw-like arms from a jagged section at the base.  Her head throbbed, neck stiff and achy, and ears still ringing.  She tried to rise, and the broken reaper arm rolled under her palm.  She swatted it away and put her weight on her arms.  Pressure burst behind her eyes, and she collapsed.  Her lips pulled back with a panting breath as her vision went in and out of focus.   A heat spread across her face as she stared up at the ceiling.  She touched her nose and frowned.  She lifted her hand over her face to see.  Red.  She rubbed her fingers.  Slippery.  A drop fell onto her neck. 

She took a deep breath and, gasping, got to her knees.  The edge of the bed made a good enough crutch, and she wobbled upright clutching at the covers.  She tried to straighten.  Instead she tumbled forward and threw up.

 

* * *

 

The cabin’s ceiling window framed Dr. Chakwas’s face as she leaned over Shepard.  Shepard strained to see her like looking at something underwater.  Dr. Chakwas’s voice sounded muffled and hollow in Shepard’s ears.  The bright orange light of the doctor’s Omni-Tool flared into Shepard’s face.   Her eyes squeezed closed, but she could still see the light burning in her mind’s eye.

“Thanks,” Shepard croaked.

“Just stay still.”

Shepard would have laughed if she hadn’t felt so heavy and drained.  For all her boasting to Miranda about having the process down, here she was needing to be told to stay still again.

“Your L3 implant is the problem.”

The Omni-Tool turned off.  Shepard opened her eyes slowly.  The orange light superimposed the rest of the world as she met the doctor’s eyes.  Dr. Chakwas put a hand on Shepard’s forehead.

“Let’s go down to the med bay.”

Shepard shifted her head but stopped short of shaking it.  She grimaced as the pulse in her forehead flared.  Motion was bad. 

“No?” Dr. Chakwas said.  Her eyes narrowed.  “You’re sick, Commander.”

“That’s why I called.”

Dr. Chakwas lips twisted.  “You couldn’t make it down there?  Calling me up was the only option?”

Shepard closed her eyes and swallowed.  Any shifting of pressure made her eyeballs feel like corks on a shaken bottle. She looked up at Dr. Chakwas.

“Please,” she said.

Dr. Chakwas gave a long sigh.  The bed indented next to Shepard as Dr. Chakwas sat down.

“I could take better care of you down there.  But, I know.”  She squeezed Shepard’s shoulder lightly.  “I suppose we can see how you do for now.  If you’re feeling worse or don’t improve, you’re coming with me to the med bay.”  She paused with a low chuckle.  “Not much you can do to stop me either.”

Shepard let out a deep breath and closed her eye again.  Light hurt.

“All right.” Dr. Chakwas stood up.  “I’m going to grab a few things, and you are going to sleep.”

Each thought caught in a stream.  She couldn’t think of any one thing.  Shepard tried clearing her head, but everything just drifted away.

 

* * *

 

Shepard woke again with a gasp.  She sat up and a wave of nausea rolled over her.  Her vision was clear, but the glare of the fish tank made her look sharply away.

“Oh, good.”  Dr. Chakwas rubbed her eyes and stood up from the couch.  “I was thinking I would have to wake you myself to check on you.  Any better?”

Shepard leaned forward, and her stiff back popped.  Damn she felt weak and shaky.

“How long have I been out?”

“A day.”

Shepard’s eyes widened.

              “I’ve been checking on you but trying not to ignore everyone.  Are you feeling better?  You look it.”

              “Better.  What did you do?”

              “A few tricks.  Nothing as powerful as sleep and time though.”

              “Oh.”  Shepard scooted to the edge of the bed.

              “Now wait, Commander.  Too fast and you’ll set yourself back.”

              Shepard put her feet over the edge and leaned back on her arms.

              “Everyone knows I’ve been sick?”

              “Some might have pieced it together.  You’ve been off duty over twenty-four hours.  The XO has been—”

              “Hell no.” Shepard wobbled to her feet.

              “Steady.  Slow down.”  Dr. Chakwas put a hand on her shoulder.

              “I can’t—”

              “Just sit back down.”  Dr. Chakwas applied a steady pressure on her shoulder until Shepard sank back onto the bed.  “You may be the captain and a Spectre, but when you’re a patient, I outrank you.”

Shepard glared up at her.  At least, she hoped it looked like a glare.  Her head was fuzzy from the movement.

              “Don’t be unrealistic,” Dr. Chakwas said.  “You’ve been out for over a day.  You still need to rest.  You’ll be on bed rest for a little longer.”  Shepard opened her mouth, but Dr. Chakwas pointed in her face.  “If you charge down there now, you’ll set yourself back with all the movement, noise, and lights.  You’re incapable of command decisions, and you’ll embarrass yourself in front of the crew.  I assume avoiding that was a factor in not going to med bay.”

              Shepard’s head buzzed too much to weigh what she’d said. 

              “Anchor’s in charge?” Shepard asked.

              “Yes.  He’s your XO.”

              “Damnit.”  Shepard held her forehead.

              “What are you going on about?  I’m fairly certain you did this to yourself, you know.”

              Shepard shook her head still holding her forehead.

              “I think you did.  You don’t remember?”  Dr. Chakwas bent down by her.

              “I used my biotics.”

              “It’s been a year and half.  You shouldn’t have started out so big on your first try.  It _was_ your first try, wasn’t it?”  She bent to catch Shepard’s eye.

              “Big?  I made a model ship float.”

              “A model ship?”  Dr. Chakwas squinted behind her at the glass case of ships and turned back with a frown.  “That’s all?”

              Shepard nodded.

              “Are you sure?  Maybe you don’t remember.”

              “That’s all.”

              Dr. Chakwas motioned around the room.  “But everything’s a mess.  Table turned over, a broken cup, scattered datapads.  I found you on the floor.”

              “I wasn’t feeling very good.  Had to make it to the comm to call you.  That was all after.”

              Dr. Chakwas searched her face.  “You’re serious, Shepard?  You lifted something that small.  That’s all?”

              “Yes.”

              “How long before you felt something was wrong.”

              “I don’t know.  Maybe quarter of an hour.  Headache, vision changes, sick to the stomach, nosebleed.  I passed out, I think.”

              “Sounds like biotic fatigue.”

              “Worse.  Different.”

              “And way out of proportion to what you were doing.  What you can normally handle.  This brain activity is different too.”

              “I’ve passed out from biotic fatigue before.  Few minutes later, I came to.  I felt okay.  Exhausted, headachy, weak.  Nothing like this though.”

              “Well …” Dr. Chakwas rubbed her chin.  She stood and stared at Shepard for a long moment.  “I’ll let you rest for now.  But, Shepard …”

              Shepard looked up and held her gaze.

              “I think this is serious, Shepard.”

              A chill cooled her core. 

Dr. Chakwas turned to the door.  “Get some sleep.  Doctor’s orders.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 

              “Oh, hey.”  Joker swiveled around as Shepard came up gangway.  He actually smiled at her.  “Been sick, huh?”

              Shepard nodded slowly.  Moving her head too much still made it pulse.  She made a point to walk softly.  A heavy footfall jolting through her skull was enough to drop her.

              “Hey.  Are you really feeling better, Commander?”

              “Yeah.  I’m fine, Joker.”

              Michael Richter sat in the co-pilot chair.  His beaky profiled turned back at Shepard.

              “Commander.”

              “Lieutenant.”  Shepard shifted her eyes back to the pilot’s chair.  “How far out, Joker?”

              “Seven light years to Elliom.”

              “Drop out of light speed just outside the cluster and come in slow.  Run silent.  We’ll check it out as we go in.  Still haven’t been able to hail the research station.  I don’t like it.”

              “Aye, aye, Commander.”

              “Update me on the comm before we drop out of FTL.  I’ll need to update the Council.”

              Shepard shuffled away.  So much time idle waiting to get here.  Now they were finally here, and she felt like hell.  Each day was a little better.  But the noises, lights, movement added up.  She’d nearly thrown up in front of the engineering crew.  She’d made it to the bathroom just in time. 

 

* * *

 

              When the med bay doors opened, Dr. Chakwas turned from her desk.

              “Oh!” She rushed over.  “Sit down here.”

              Shepard didn’t protest.  She slowly lowered herself into the chair at Dr. Chakwas’ desk.

              “You’re looking bad, Commander.  How long have you been up?”  She walked over to the counter.  “You’re not going to tell me?”  She looked over her shoulder as she pulled a scanner out of counter drawer.

              “Ten hours?”

              Shepard wasn’t even sure.  It was hard to concentrate.

              “Here.  Take these.”  Dr. Chakwas handed a paper cup to her.  “Stay still.”

              Shepard stared into the cup as the doctor scanned her.  Two green capsules.  The scan stopped.  Dr. Chakwas read the Omni-Tool’s holoscreen as she wandering over to the faucet and flicked turning it on.

              “Hmm.”  She scrolled down the screen then filled a glass of water.  She turned around.  “Shepard!” 

The glass of water sloshed in her hand as she marched over.  Shepard crinkled the paper cup, and Dr. Chakwas snatched it away.  She shoved the glass of water into Shepard’s hand instead.

“You already took it?  Stop doing that.  You need to swallow it with a full glass of water.  Go on.” 

Shepard sighed and raised the glass to her lips.  Dr. Chakwas reached out as if to tip it back for her.  Shepard turned her head and took a swallow.

“Keep going.” Dr. Chakwas gave a long sigh and threw the crumpled paper cup into the trash.  “I swear you do that to get a rise out of me.”

Shepard finished and clapped the glass down on the desk.

“Well, good news.” Dr. Chakwas pulled the scan results up on her Omni-Tool again.  “Things are starting to get better.”

Shepard perked up in her seat.

“Activity is settling down across both lobes.  Much better since yesterday.  I think there’s a good chance long as you rest.”  she looked up from the screen and met Shepard’s eyes for a purposeful moment before looking back down.  “Yes, good chance given time, it will calm down completely.  Your symptoms should be getting better every day.”

“What about my biotics?”

“What about them?” Dr. Chakwas shrugged.  “Don’t use them.  Same restrictions as before.  For now.”

“I know that,” Shepard snapped then moderated her tone.  Maybe she did need some rest.  “I mean, going forward.  In the future.  What does this mean?”

“Well,” Dr. Chakwas said lowering her Omni-Tool.  “I don’t know for certain.  Certainly serious.  It’s not something I’ve seen with a biotic before.  This sort of derangement across the hemispheres, that energy signature, it could be specific to you and Cerberus’ modifications.  Or it’s possible your brain architecture, chemistries, neural responses.  They could be altered merely by having been …”  Dr. Chakwas searched for a word.

“Dead?” Shepard offered.

“Yes, I suppose.  Dead.  Or it could be the other implants, how they’re interacting.  Or maybe just the L3 being damaged in relation to all of those factors.  You were at the origin of a blast that disable mass energies.  You’ll need to wait until we’re back on Earth for Miranda to diagnose it.”

“I can make it that long?”

“Of course.  You’ll get better each day.  You’ve just overtaxed yourself today.  That’s all.”

“We’re coming up to Elliom, the research station.  The Council will want to touch bases.”

“Then go rest.  The station personnel have waited a year and a half, they can wait an extra eight hours.  Rest before you talk to the Council and start the approach.”

“Okay.”  Shepard stood up stiffly.

“A few days, I think, you’ll be feeling better.  Just rest.”

Shepard ambled to the door.

“And stop taking your pills without water.  You need to wash them all the way down.”

Shepard waved her hand dismissively.  “Fine, fine.”

The walls shifted around her with head drumming.  A few crewmen stepped out of her way gawking as she lumbered to the elevator.  Sleep didn’t sound like such a bad thing right now.

 

* * *

 

The Councilor’s bright silhouettes disappeared.  Shepard tapped the comm console.  The buttons flashed until she jammed enough buttons it finally turned off.  Acting up again.  Sleep had helped, but she still had that splitting headache.  She strode through the war room into the CIC.  Anchor stood at attention by the door as she came out.

“Commander Shepard.”

“Lieutenant Commander Anchor.”

He fell in beside her as she moved to the elevator.

“No sign of the downed ship?” Shepard asked.

“Not yet.  The probe did identify the dig site on the planet surface,” Anchor said.

“Dig site?” Shepard frowned at him.

He glanced at Jane and some ensigns standing nearby.  He leaned in closer.

“You know what I mean.”

“Then say what you mean,” Shepard snapped.  She didn’t bother to lower her voice.  “No reason it has to be this big damn secret from everyone.”

Anchor’s face hardened.

The elevator doors opened and she stepped in looking back at him. 

“Now,” Shepard said “You have the bridge.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said rigidly.

Shepard waited for the doors to close then gave a long sigh.  She leaned her head against the wall for a moment feeling the elevator lowering.  She took a green capsule out her pocket and popped it in her mouth as the doors opened to the cargo bay.  She’d pinched it from Dr. Chakwas when the doctor made the mistake of handing her the whole bottle.  She still had another pill in her pocket too. 

James grinned talking loudly to the marines.  The bulldog-shaped tower of Briggs smiled so wide his face looked cracked.  Jensen’s pixie cut bobbed with laughter.  Shepard neared, and Jensen swung around as if just hearing her.

“Commander, you really throw a barrier around live grenades?”

Shepard stopped with a smirk.  She glanced sideways at James.  “Story Time with Vega?”

James shrugged with a wide grin and snapped his helmet on.  “Could go the whole mission before airing re-runs.”

“Live grenades though?” Briggs’s baritone laughed out the words.  “And they exploded?  Didn’t know a biotic do that with a barrier.”

Shepard felt her smile fading and pulled it up again.  She swallowed.  “Well, don’t expect a show this time.  Hopefully, this is just a nice little trip to the countryside.  Everyone, ready?  Vega?”

“All ready, Commander.”

“Jensen?  Briggs?”

They bobbed their heads.  Jensen’s grin spread from corner to corner of her helmet.  Briggs and James’s smiles looked about the same almost bouncing on their toes.

“Cortez?”

He nodded at her from the open doorway of the shuttle.

“Good.  I’ll gear up, and then we’re head down.  Tower defenses for the facility still down, Vega?”

“Yeah.  Jensen’s good with it though.”

Jensen patted her backpack.  “Just take swapping out the energy coupler and charging the sync on the main tower generator.  Over a year?  Gotta have burned out that coupler long time ago.”

“Let’s hope that’s all it is then.  Grab some biotic and lift grenades,” Shepard said moving to the armory.  “We still can’t reach any of the researcher staff.  I don’t like it.  Ten minutes, then we head down.”

 

* * *

 

              The trees on Elliom towered overhead from the forest floor.  Tree roots rose like gnarled bridges interconnecting trunks.  Shepard gazed around at it from the research facility’s courtyard.  Cortez hopped out of the shuttle.

              “Only clearing in kilometers.  Hard to get to anyone in all these trees,” he said.

              A cluster of gray buildings lay ahead in the clearing surround by vacant-looking towers.  They pushed through the brittle crabgrass staring up at the main building.  The central building soared above them with opaque glass shielding what had to the Prothean excavation site.        

              “Jensen,” Shepard said.  “Where’s the main generator?  Let’s get these towers up pronto.”

              “Yeah,” Briggs muttered.  His jowls jiggling as he whipped his head around squinting into the dark canopy beyond the clearing.  “Something I don’t like here.”

              “Me too, Lola,” James said under his breath.  “Where’d these researchers go?”

              “I hoped the Medurrus’s crew might have connected with them,” Shepard said.  “Looks empty though.”

              “Kinda eerie, right?” James said.

              “Jensen.”  Shepard turned to her.

              Jensen consulted a glowing map on her Omni-Tool.  “West of here, Commander.”

              “Then let’s go.  Keep your guard up.  Cortez,” Shepard touched her comm looking up at the hill at him.  “Stay in the shuttle.  Don’t wander around.”

              “Yes, Commander.”

              “Jensen, keep with me.  Let’s find the shield generators.”

 

* * *

 

              Jensen bent over the circuit box at the base of the central towers.  She shifted to the side and threw off another panel.  Shepard stood in the shadow of the glass building overhead.  She glanced around at the other four towers.  She could only glimpse the far two as small peaks over the research buildings.  Torn and stained siding lined the empty, powerless buildings behind them.  Shattered windows littered the yellow grass with bit of reflecting glass.  The buildings’ sliding doors stood open and broken.  Some looked like they’d been pried open.  Jensen grunted fiddling with her Omni-Tool.

              “Problems?” Shepard asked.  She pressed her pistol to her thigh as she sank next Jensen.

              “Sorry, ma’am,” Jensen said.  “Gonna take more time than I was thinking.  It’s been all rooted around in, torn up.”

              “Torn up?” Shepard frowned.  “From what?”

              “I don’t know, ma’am.  Seems kind of indiscriminate.  No real method to it.”

              “You can fix it?”

              “I’ll try.”

              Shepard stood up.  James pulled his rifle off his back and over his head.  He clutched it as he stared into the woods.

              “What’s the matter?” Shepard asked.

              “Thought I … I dunno know.”

              “Thought you heard something?” Shepard stepped in beside him and jammed her pistol away.  She lifted the shotgun off her back and aimed it at trees.  “I did too.”

              “Hey, Commander.” 

              Shepard turned to Briggs.  He stood behind them squatting beside one of the cement buildings.  He ran his hands along the scorched wall and looked up.

              “Looks like something happened here.  Got some gunshot burn and this.”  He outlined the scorch mark. 

              “Looks like a biotic blast,” Shepard murmured crossing the field to him.

              “Shepard,” James said raising his gun.

              Shepard spun around lifting her shotgun.  A blue light glowed distantly under the tree tops.  Shepard frowned edging closer as it grew brighter and larger.  A scrapping sound tore across the ground like scrambling feet.  It broke into the clearing.

              “Draw your weapons,” Shepard bellowed charging back to James.

              “Commander!” Briggs yelled.

              A glowing light rushed from the other side.  Jensen lifted her assault rifle and aimed.  James fired as the light in front of them blazed closer.  Shepard swung around with her gun. Some oily creature tore the ground under four legs as it shot at them.  A network of electricity rippled along a body with no real head.

              “What the hell’s that?” James yelled.

              Jensen and Briggs fired in the other direction.  James’s bullet strikes didn’t seem to phase it as it hurtled at them.  Shepard stumbled back firing and grabbed James shoulder.

              “Get into the lab!” Shepard yelled. 

              The thing coming from the other direction was nearly on Briggs and Jensen.  Shepard tore a biotic grenade from her belt.

              “Duck and run!”  She lobbed it past them.

              It arched over Briggs’ head.  He scrambled to the wall as Jensen tumbling over his heels following.  The flash threw them forward slamming against the wall and to their knees in the grass.  James raced up reaching a hand out.  A half-open doorway gaped a few meters down the wall.

              “Come on!” Shepard waved and turned to lop another biotic grenade. 

It slammed into her smashing her into the ground.  The grenade rolling from her shocked fingers as gunshots burst around her.  It bore down on her, and she gasped as mass effect fields tore through her body.  Her hands dug into the dirt, toes curling in her boots, and teeth clenching to almost shattering.  A red circle glowed in its gelatinous skin by her face.  The biotic grenade rolled against her thigh, and her hand shot out.  She grabbed it with a scream and drove her fist forward into the red glow.  Her hands sunk into the oily black jell.  Every nerve burst as lightning zig zagging through her chest.  Her joints burst apart as tendons stretching and buzzed.  Electricity flared out from the red circle, and the creature limped off her.  She tore her hands pulled free with a slurpy pop and scrambled back on slippery hands.  She kicked madly stumbling to her feet as it surged at her again.  It burst.  She flew backward in a spray of black gel and biotic flickers.  She sat up from the ground and lifted her hand.  The grenade’s ring hung loose on her index finger.  She flung it away panting and wobbled to her feet.  The firing stopped.

James grabbed her shoulder. “What happened?  You all right, Commander?”

“Commanders?” Jensen rushed over to them with a hard set to her mouth.

Shepard nodded coughing.  “Where’s the other one?”

“Ran off.  Grenades scared it, I think,” James said.

“How long?” Shepard tried to catch her breath still shivering from the electricity.  “How long to restore the towers?”

Jensen twisted to look at the control panel. “I can do it, ma’am.”

“Go.”

Jensen tore through the grass and tripped as she slid onto her knees by the control panel.

“Briggs.  Watch her.  See if she needs help.”

He gave a firm nod, holding his rifle out, and rushed over.  James edged forward past Shepard with the rifle in his hands.

“They’re coming back!” Shepard said.

Her shotgun lay meters away covering in black ooze.  She pulled her pistol out instead still blinking back bright lights.  James’s head whipped to look at her with pinched eyebrows.  She waved off his frown and stumbled into spread leg stance holding her pistol out.  It wavered as she tried steadying it with both hands.  Blue light glowed in the forest under the trees.  Loud hissing sounds echoed over the clearing.  James lifted his rifle and looked down the barrel.

“Commander,” Jensen called.  “Almost got it.”

“Keep going.” Shepard looked at James.  “Any more grenades?”

He dug through his utility belt and shoved two into her palm.  Neither were biotic grenades, just a lift and incendiary grenade.  Shepard frowned at them and shoved them in her pocket.  What she needed was more biotic grenades.

“Commander.”  It was Cortez.

“Cortez?”

“Got things coming your direction from this side.  Had to lift off.”

“That’s fine.  Vega.” Shepard pointed up the hill as the shuttle rose above the hill.  “Cover my three.  Aim at the glowing red circle.  Briggs, you hear me too?”

“Aye, aye!”

Two oily creatures burst out of foliage across the clearing in front of her.  Shepard aimed and fired.

“Jensen!”

“Yes.  Almost … almost …”  The tower flared to life.  A shimmering wall flashing out in front of them connecting tower to tower.  “There!”

The animals skittered into the blooming wall of energy.  One burst apart.  The other stumbled to a stop reeling backward and retreating into the canopy.

“Any already on this side of the fence?” Shepard hollered.

Briggs shook his head.  James ran up the slope where Cortez had lifted off.

“Negative, Commander,” He said and turned with the rifle slacking in his grip.  “Just on the other side.  I can see them.”

“Cortez?’ Shepard touched her ear.  The wall encircled the facility, but it wasn’t covered overhead.  “You able to land?”

“Yeah,” he said.  “I’ll find a spot.  Those things I saw coming.  Splattered apart or something when that fence came up.  Were too close.”

“Good.”  She turned to her team.  “Everyone all right?”

“You don’t look so well, Commander,” Jensen said.

“I’m okay.  I’m standing,” Shepard said.  “Let’s move.  How long we got with these fences?”

“It was just a patch job, Commander.  Need some real engineers down here.”

“Let’s go then.  In that way.  Vega, get this facility door closed behind us.  Let’s not take any chances.”

“Ma’am,” Jensen came up beside her.  “I have medic training.”

“Fine,” Shepard said swiftly.  “But let’s make it fast.  We need to keep moving.”

Jensen nodded and grabbed Shepard’s hands, singed and shaky.  Shepard could only imagine what her face looked like.  Her head throbbed.  Still, she felt better getting body slammed by that thing than she had using her biotics to float some damned model ship.  She’d been under attack and not used her biotics reflexively.  That alone was a win.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

 

Dark and empty, the research facility folded out before them.  The rooms cluttered with broken benches and shattered lights.  Ripped insulation stuck through crumbling plaster and torn up flooring.  A pale sunlight filtered through the opaque glass onto the dim gray outline of the excavation site.  They continued along the hall walled with a window looking out over it.

“We looking for a door to out there?” James asked.  “We passed one back there.”

“No,” Shepard said.  “We’re looking for the central research room.  Jensen, I’ll need you to work on the backup generators when we find it.  We need their research data online.”

“You got it, ma’am.  Just show me what you need.”

“That looks like a big room coming up.” Briggs nodded ahead of them at two multistory doors looming at the end of the hallway.

“That it does,” Shepard said and rushed forward.

It took a few minutes jimmying the doors far enough apart to slip through.  Shepard slid through last and flipped on her Omni-Tool light.  Three other light beams circled around the room.  The room rose overhead into a peak and rows of consoles circled the room’s center.  Shepard drew in a foul stench and covered her nose looking around them.

“Got some bodies over here,” James said moving down the wall.

“I’m sure we’ll find more,” Shepard said.

He hunched over something on the floor with a sigh.  “Looks like they starved or something maybe.”

“Better than those things getting them,” Jensen said.  “Probably drug off the other bodies.”

Shepard reluctantly dropped her hand and focused on breathing through her nose.  She ran a hand along a bank of consoles. 

“We need to focus on this.  Jensen, find the power generator.  Vega, Briggs, check the doors.  Big room.  We don’t need any open doors letting in any surprises.  Go.”

Feet scrambled to follow orders.  James and Briggs’s Omni-Tool lights bounced on opposites walls rounding the vault.  Jensen bent skimming her light along the outer row of terminals.  The light on Shepard’s wrist moved ahead of her as she walked down the aisle of computer to the central platform rising overhead.

“Found it, ma’am,” Jensen said.

“Good.  Bring it up.”

“Aye, aye.”

Shepard’s forehead furrowed as the light on her Omni-Tool trailed up a tall obelisk-like structure rising in the middle of the platform.  She locked her feet stopping short.  A shiver ran up between her shoulder blades as light play off the stone above her.

“All clear,” James called across the room. 

His footsteps neared and Shepard sparked awake from thought.  She tore around the platform holding herself several steps back.

“Vega, stop.  Get back!”

The lights flared on overhead.  The room lit up in a bright flickering hum.  James stood blinking and frozen.  His eyes moved from her as she waved him back and rose to the statue towering over head.  Briggs and Jensen edged in slowly stopping well short and stared up at the stone structure.

“Is that …”  James looked over at her.

“It’s a beacon,” Shepard said.

 

* * *

 

The damned thing was broken for all the precaution she was giving it.  The bottom end of the obelisk had a jagged edge as if broken off its base.  Shepard rounded it, staring up at it, and running a palm across its surface.  She stood back with a sigh.

“Not going to do anything?” James asked taking a step toward her.

“Stay back,” Shepard said.

“But, it looks busted,” James said.  “It’s not doing anything.”

“We don’t know enough about it,” Shepard said.  “I can feel …”  She pressed her palm to it and squeezed her eyes shut again.  She opened them and stood back.  “It’s … I don’t know.  Just stay back.”

“You’ve had these Prothean beacon things attack you?” Briggs said.

“No attack me,” Shepard said.  “But, you don’t want one grabbing you.  I was told they can destroy some people’s minds.  Damn well screws you up if you don’t expect it.”

“Think we can get information from it?” Jensen asked.  “Maybe it’ll help us find that thing you’re looking for.”

“I don’t know.  Maybe.”

“Lola,” James lowered his voice.  “You’ve been sick.  Maybe you don’t want that thing messing with you.  Let me or someone—”

“We don’t know how that would work out.  I’m the only one with the cipher.  I don’t need my marines screwed up and seeing visions that we can’t even make sense of.  I’m doing it, if we can figure out how to activate it.”

“Maybe we need to find its base,” Jensen said.  “It looks broken.”

“Maybe.”  Shepard touched the stone again and closed her eyes. 

A deep hum made her fingers tingled.  A familiar draw made her reach out with her nerves as if to draw energy.  She pulled back with a start.

“This takes dark energy,” she said.

“What?” James said.

Shepard stepped backward staring up at it before turning to him.

“I triggered it before.  It felt effortless, uncontrollable, but I think it took my dark energy fields.  It needed that connection.  Saren was a biotic.  The only other person who triggered a beacon was Kaidan.  He’s a biotic too.  I think, we need dark energy.”

James edged in closer and Shepard didn’t wave him off this time.

“Why don’t you just you-know, then?” James asked.

Shepard folded her arms with a tight frown.  “I’m having problems with my biotics.  I need something else to trigger it.”

“What then?” James said.  “Only other biotic we got aboard is Anchor.”

“No,” Shepard said sharply, then glanced back at Jensen and Briggs.  “Anchor wouldn’t understand the visions.  We need an external field to trigger it so that I can receive it.”

“Like a biotic grenade?  We got more on the ship,” James said.

“That could destroy it,” Shepard said.  She stared at it, head throbbing, and folded her arms feeling the rigid stickiness on her right arm.  She held her arm out dried with oily residue, and her eyes turned to James.  “I have an idea.”

 

* * *

 

They metal crate had probably been used to transport food.  At least, finding it in the kitchen, had suggested it was used for something like that.  Transporting a glowing, hissing pile of goo worked too.  Shepard and the other soldiers struggled under the weight of the shaking container.  Each held a corner as Shepard lead the way back into the vaulted central research room.  The beacon rose in the center like a tall back staff as they neared.

“Let’s drop it here,” Shepard said with a grunt.

James’s face glowed ear to ear like a rowdy puppy dog whose master had finally taken it out to play ball.  Jensen and Briggs grinned openly with sweaty faces.  It had taken some trial and error.  Using the biotic grenades from the shuttle as a deterrent, they’d figured it out.  Driving one into the crate had taken a little more time than she wanted, but even she had to admit, it had been damn fun sport.  Fun long as you had your fence up for retreat and biotic grenades to turn back the tide.

“You don’t need help sliding that up?” James said.  “We could get closer.”

“I can already feel the beacon humming,” Shepard said.  “Everyone get back.  I got it.”

Shepard waved them back and rounded the crate.  She grunted, driving her shoulder against it, and inching the crate forward under the strain of boots.  What she really needed was something slippery in front to reduce the friction.  She was edging it forward though.  The beacon’s hum heightened in her skull.

“I’m not hearing that humming,” James said standing back.

“I do,” Shepard said clenching her teeth and sliding the crate forward.

Her muscles shivered in cool sweat as she finally wedged the crate up to the base of the platform.  Jensen sat on a back console, feet dangling, and watching with a frown.  James and Briggs stood side by side next to her.

“Is it not working?” James said.  “Nothing’s happening.  You’re right there.”

“Damn you’re impatient.  You’re worse than me,” Shepard said walking around the crate and staring up at the beacon.  “That hunt didn’t work any of your energy out?”

James laughed.  “Think it just wound me up, Commander.”

“Wind back down, then.  I’ve got to figure this out.”

She squinted up at the beacon and cocked her head.  The high-pitched whine still rung through her skull, but it wasn’t glowing like she remembered the other beacons doing.  She twisted back to her audience.

“No one hears that?”

“No one hears that,” James said.

“Huh.” 

She strolled forward and put a palm against the beacon.  An electrical shiver went up her arm, but there still wasn’t any light to the stone surface.  She backed up with a frown and bumped into the crate.  It shuddered with a loud hiss, and light glowed for an instant off the stone.  A smile spread across Shepard’s lips.  She darted a glance back at James before turning back to the beacon.  She pounded her fist on the top of the crate.  It roared with a shuddering flare.  The beacon burst to life.  Energy slammed into her.  Her muscles stiffening as her feet lifting.  Her mind whirled with images and information.  She struggled to draw breath seeing nothing but light.  She dropped sprawled forward on the floor panting.  A crack thundered overhead.

“Shepard!”

Shepard tore to her feet and dodged as the beacon crumbled forward.  It slammed down beside her in a crashing spray of glass and metal from the console boards.  The crate glowed jumping and hissing as Shepard staggered on her feet.  James skimmed along the row of computers and spilled out into the aisle.  He raced down to her. 

“I’m getting the hang of these beacons,” she panted bent over holding her forehead.  She looked up with a smile.  “I know what we need to do.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

 

Dirt floated in the beam of Shepard’s Omni-Tool light as bounced off the tunnel walls.  A musky dampness tickled her nose.  A quick glance back confirmed she hadn’t lost anyone yet.  All the gawking and conversation had long since died down in the monotony of the tunnel system.

Shepard rummaged in her pocket for the other green capsule she’d taken from Dr. Chakwas.  Her fingers fumbled around the incendiary and lift grenades until she found it and popped it in her mouth.  The cool and quiet of the underground tunnels helped the pounding in her skull.  They slowed on an intersection of tunnel passageways.  Shepard flicked her light right and then left.

“This way.”  She continued ahead.

James edged up beside her and lowered his voice.  “Not questioning you here, Lola, but we’ve been going around a long time.  I mean, you must know something about this place finding those hidden doors, activating that bridge, and all.”

“We’re almost there,” Shepard said.

“Yeah, but where’s ‘there?’” James said.

Jensen clicked her tongue as her light flashed around the tunnel.  “Sure reminds me of the keeper tunnels back on the Citadel.”

“When did you see keeper tunnels?”  Briggs snorted.

“Grew up on the citadel.  Trust me, got up to a lot worse than that.” 

“Who’d a thought these relays were so much like the citadel, right?” James turned back to them.  “Didn’t even know the relays had tunnels.”

Shepard stopped.  Her light illuminated a steel door dead ending the hallway in front of them.  She turned to Jensen standing a few steps behind. 

“Jensen, the door,” Shepard said.

Jensen grinned rushing ahead and dropped beside the door.  She ran her hands along the outside and searched along the sides of the tunnel with her light. 

“I-- I’m not sure how to open it, ma’am.  There’s no control panel to override.”

Shepard sighed coming over and bent down by her.  She ducked her head next to Jensen’s watching the light as it moved across the smooth surface.  No circuitry.  Not that she was any good at that stuff herself anyway.  Her palm pressed against the door.  Her breath caught.

“What is it?” James rushed over.

Shepard blinked as her eyes swam with images.  She rose unsteadily against the door and pulled her hand away with a gasp.

“What happened?” James said.

The door gave a dusty, squealy groan.  Shepard stumbled back as it shivered and scraped across the floor retracting into the wall.  The stale air hit them like the winds from a crypt.  A faint light burned in the distance as Shepard edged past the door.  Her footsteps echoed around the towering chamber.  Her hair stirred around her head as she edged to a gasping chasm and looking up.  It had to be as tall as the top of the level.  Her breath caught as her eyes dropped to four metal bridges spanning the windy chasm.  The dim light she’d seen glowed in the ring intersection of the bridges.  A white shaft of mist or dust phosphoresced came up through the ring and shined into the dark canopy overhead.  It was a glimmering stone suspended above the central ring in the shaft of light that caught Shepard’s eye.  She smiled.

“Set some lights up,” Shepard said and hedged along the walkway encircling the chasm.  The bright shaft vanished into the depths below.  Shepard peeked past her toes into the torrent of wind and darkness.  She pulled her head back and edged to the nearest bridge.

“You going to get up there?” James asked.  “Doesn’t look too steady.”

James scooted along the chamber’s wall and edged up beside her. The bridge’s thin metal groaned as Shepard tested the weight of one foot.  James gave her a sharp look, and she slowly lifted her other foot.  The bridge moaned as she settled it beside the other.  The metal shifted, and James caught at her elbow.  The bridge settled as Shepard stood still in the whipping wind up the chasm. 

              “It’s fine,” Shepard murmured.  “I’ll go slow.”

              “Okay …” James released her elbow and pressed back to the wall.

              Shepard shuffled forward as the bridge’s overlapping metal plates groaning beneath her boots.  The interlocking joints along the bridge shifted and she put her arms out with a grimace.  James drew a sharp intake of breath.  Her feet slipped backward on the metal as the bridge slanted up to the middle ring. 

              She crested the slope drawing shallow breaths.  Her eyes focused on a stone no bigger than her hand, dark and smooth, hanging in the air ahead.  The white mist hung in the air around it shooting up and down like a beam of light but without energy.  It looked almost like snow or dust caught in the flash of a camera.  Shepard shuffled up to the edge of the bridge where it connected by a thin metal ring circling the open air.  The ring was wider than she realized, wider than a person laying down.  The reflected back at her hanging just out of reach.

              “Can you get it?” Jensen hollered.  “That’s what you’re after, right?  That what we came for?”

              Shepard bit into her lip and strained forward.  She had nothing to hold onto.  Her stomach caught in her chest as she teetered.  She drew back slapping back on the flat of her feet.  The bridge shuddered.  She froze, arms spread, and adjusted her balance as it settled beneath her. 

              “Want me to come up the other side, Commander?” James asked.

              He scooted along the wall in the corner of her vision.

              “No,” Shepard yelled not taking her eyes of the shard.  It wasn’t much of a prize to look at it.  The black chunk of metal barely had a shine, but that had to be it. 

              “What can we do?” Jensen called.

              Shepard shifted on her toes and pushed her fingers into the mist feeling the air.  A cool light chilled up her arm as she pushed her hand out further.  The gravity field was bent or changed somehow.  Shepard squinted up at the shard.  Maybe she could use the field to reach it, but that didn’t seem right either.  She frowned and concentrated until a shiver ran down her back.  She yanked her hand back and snapped onto the heels of her boots.  She adjusted her weight as the bridge shifted and turned toward James.  He was still inching along the walk and almost opposite her now.

              “Vega,” she called.

              “You want me to come up?”

              “No,” Shepard said. 

James paused waiting for her to speak. 

She chewed her bottom lip and finally gave a growling sigh.  “Bring me Anchor,”

 

* * *

 

              “Commander.”  Anchor’s voice echoed entering the chamber door below.

              Shepard hadn’t moved.  She stood stiffly at the edge of the bridge next to the unmoving mist.  She tilted her head enough to watch him gawk up at the massive room.

              “Hey,” Shepard called down.  Her voice reverberated distantly in the chamber above.  “I didn’t call you to come gawk.  I need your …” She grinded her teeth and then spat it out, “Biotics.”

              “My biotics?”  He raised his voice over the wind.

              “For what they’re worth.  I need you up here.”

              James frowned. “We still got that creature that makes the biotic fields.”

              “No,” Shepard called.  “Send Anchor up.  I need some dexterity, a small level of finesses, to get this thing down.”

              “You can’t reach it?” James projected stepping up to the edge of the gaping hole.

              “I need a mass field to take it.  Anything else, it’ll just shatter.  Anchor, get your ass up here.”

              “I’ll come right up,” Anchor said.

              He shuffled against the wall rounding in front of her.  Shepard gave another long sigh and shifted on her feet as she waited.

              “Come up the bridge across from me,” she yelled down.

              “Certainly.”

              James lingered just out of full view as she watched Anchor approach the bottom of the bridge.  The metal plating squealed and shifted, and Anchor reeled back from it.

              “It’s fine,” Shepard said.  “Go slowly.  It’s old.”

              “If your weight’s already on it, then you add mine …” he said.

              “That’s why I told you to take the opposite bridge.  Look at them, they’re not supporting each other.”

              “So, my side goes, you’ll be fine,” Anchor hissed.

              Shepard strained to hear it. 

              “Are you coming up or not?  If not, I’ll figure something else out.  You decide, Anchor.  Time’s ticking.”

              “All right,” Anchor bit off.  

              The metal shifted and whined as his full weight settled on the bridge.  James paced against the wall with hands clutched behind his back.  He caught Shepard’s eye with a frown.  Anchor squirmed slowly up the bridge.  After some metal creaking and sharp intakes of breath, he crested the rise of the bridge, and she could see him.  Their eyes met through the powdery beam.

              “Why aren’t you doing it?  You’re a strong biotic, I hear.”

              “Did you want to help or not?” Shepard asked.

              He gave a weak shrug with his arms winged out.  He picked his way forward as the metal groaned. 

              “Damn this is creaky.  One good thunk …” Anchor looked down at her feet.  “Your side just as bad?”

              “You almost ready?” Shepard asked.

              He slipped up to the edge of the metal ring and gazed up at the shard.

              “Ah, there it is.  Everything we came for.  That’s it?  Smaller than I thought.”

              “The admiral said it was small.”

              “Yeah, not much of a shard.  Makes me think of a crystal.  Why’d they call it that?”

              Shepard released a long breath to draw his attention.  His head snapped back to her.

              “Listen now,” she said.  “You have to reach up through this field.  Use your biotics.  This fields, it’s a distortion in mass effect energies.  I don’t know how.  I can’t explain it.  Just reach in.  See what you feel.”

              Anchor’s frowned at her but gave a sigh and reached a quaky hand out.  His fingers dipping into the white mist.  He blinked as if sensing something.

              “You know what to do?” Shepard asked.

              “No. I feel like I could … maybe …”

              “Reach up.  Draw on your biotics.”

              “They’re weak.”

              “Doesn’t matter.  Just a little.  Just enough.  Shift the energy up but bend the center. Then let it move to the shard and pull inward.  You can feel the resistance.  Work around it like drawing in a vortex only outward.”

              His eyes scrunched as he gazed down into the abyss.  A blue so pale it was almost white flared across his skin.  He reached up in the mist and a swirl of blue light rose from his fingertips.  The shard glowed, twisting, and vibrating.

              “Slow down,” Shepard snapped.

              Anchor took a deep breath as the shard stilled.  He tried again.  It glowed with a soft hum.

“You’re doing it,” Shepard said.

              She touched the misty beam could feeling the energies move.

              “Now draw in a vortex but reverse it.  Feel it loosening?”

              Anchor grit his teeth and danced his fingertips at the shard.  It rocked, tipping, and slide through the mist.  Shepard lunged for it, but Anchor snatched it and rocked back.  Shepard reeled back and retributed her weight as the bridge groaned.

              “Good.  You’ve got it,” Shepard said.

              Anchor opened his hand.  It rested in his palm so dark against his skin, it seemed to draw in light.  Anchor looked up and met her eye.

              “Here.”  He stretched through the mist holding it out to her.

              Shepard shook her head with a pressed lipped frown. “Just bring it back down.”

              “Wait,” Anchor’s eyes widened.  “It’s starting to stick.  I can’t …”

              “What?” Shepard surged forward and grabbed a hand out after it.

              Anchor snapped it back in his hand.  “Got it.  Careful.”

              He tippy toed and shot his other hand out.  He met her hand and shoved her backward.   Her elbow locked throwing her stumbling back.  She teetered on the edge of the bridge as the metal screaming and moving beneath her.

              “Commander,” James yelled.

              The metal gave way beneath her.  Shepard lunged for the ring connecting the bridges as hers broke away.  Her fingers skimmed the metal as she fell.  Anchor stared wide eyed shooting away as the light pinholed.  She threw her hands out to grasp something.  Grasp anything.  Her finger tips grazed the beam of light.  Worthless.  She felt the lump in her pocket and fumbled at it.  The end of the light approached.  She hurled the grenade.  The light ended.  It exploded.

              Pain slammed into her body.  She screamed, or tried, but her lung wouldn’t opening.  Blood oozing across her face from her bit tongue as circled floating above the ground.  Her knuckled dragged on cool metal floor as bit of shattered armor floated around her face.  Pain ripped her leg.  She strained to see in the darkness.  Her lungs opened, and she screamed. Gravity returned and she fell as the pieces of her armor rattled to the floor around her.  She spit up blood, curling an arm around her leg, and stared up in the darkness.

She’d gotten the right one from her pocked: the lift grenade.  A fifty percent chance and she was alive.  She screamed again.  The walls echoed around her.  Faint voices stirred above.  The prick of light above looked like a star.  She stared at it, gasping for breath, and wondered if it really was a star.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

 

              “Bad spill, Shepard,” a woman’s voice sighed.  “I’ll have to sedate you.”

              Shepard gasped at the lights and sound blurring around her.  She fumbled to grasp something or anything.  Her heart fluttered.  She was still falling.  A warm hand grabbed her wrist.

              “Just settle down.  Don’t try moving.  You’re on the Normandy again.  You’re fine.”

              Everything so fuzzy.  The world blurred away.

 

* * *

 

              Shepard shot up with a gasp.  The room exploded in brightness as Shepard blinked around her.  A hand touched her shoulder.

              “It’s okay.  You’re fine.”

              She squinted into the light of the med bay.  The image crisped into the frowning face of Dr. Chakwas.  She shined a light into Shepard’s face.  Shepard shied away, but Dr. Chakwas grabbed her chin.  She looked in Shepard’s eye one at a time then backed up.

              “You’re doing a number on yourself this time, Shepard.  Good thing you brought me along.” She turned the light off on her Omni-Tool.  “No serious damage.  Not this time at least.”

              Shepard sat on a metal table with a thin blanket across her lap.  She plucked at her hospital gown before putting a hand to her ringing head.  She winced as pain throbbing up her leg.

              “You broke your legs,” Dr. Chakwas said.  “Gave you a pain med twenty minutes ago.  Still going to hurt though.”

              Shepard calmed her breathing.  The shard flashed in her mind.  Shepard squirmed to twist off the table and drop her legs on the floor. 

              “You can try, but you’re not going very far.  Your legs are still setting.  I sedated you for the shortest time I could to let the bones heal.  Knew you’d want that.  But you’ve got to rest them.  And you’re head, Shepard, be glad all that trouble didn’t upset your implant.  You do have a concussion though.  You’ll have trouble with that for a while, I imagine.”

              Shepard took a deep breath and pressed her fingers to her forehead.  Dr. Chakwas patted her back. 

              “Maybe I should sedate you again.  Give you more time to heal before you agitate yourself.”

              Her mind sped through disjointed memories.  Those creatures, the shard, the fall … Anchor.  Shepard grit her teeth and dropped her hands from her face.  She balled them into fists.

              “You’re clearly getting too agitated.”

              “No!” Shepard said as her voice cracked.

              “Yes, you are.”

              “I need to see Anchor.  Where is he?”

              “On the bridge I imagine.  He’s acting CO while you’re out.  I’ve been down here with you for days.”

              “Days!” Shepard lunged to get off the table again.

              “Pointless, Shepard,” Dr. Chakwas said.  “I told you.  Your legs are setting.  You can’t feel they’re in containment?”

              Dr. Chakwas dug around the counter for something.  She pulled out a syringe out of wrapper and drew an amber liquid of a vial.  She looked sidelong at Shepard.  Shepard frowned and spread her fingers out at Dr. Chakwas as she neared.

              “I guess it was too soon, Shepard.  Sorry.”

              “Where’s Kaidan?”

              “Kaidan?” Dr. Chakwas paused with the needle and frowned.  “He’s not here, Shepard.”

              Shepard frowned in concentration.  That’s right.

“It’s your concussion talking.  You clearly still have inflammation.  Here.”

              Shepard squirmed away, but Dr. Chakwas grabbed her IV tubing instead.

              “Where am I?”

              “You’re on the Normandy.” Dr. Chakwas injected into the tubing port and stared down at Shepard.

              “My legs broke?”

              “Yes.”

              The world blurred into white light.  Shepard felt a hand on her forehead pushing her back.  Then nothing.

 

* * *

 

              When Shepard woke up again, she still in the med bay.  Dr. Chakwas’s slumped forward over her desk asleep on folded arms.  The overhead lights hummed dimly.  It must be night cycle.

              Shepard tried her legs.  They moved with only a slight twinge of pain.  She threw the covers back and flexed her calves.  Bruises covered her legs, but at least they were workable now.  She touched her wrist, but her Omni-Tool was missing.  Her feet touched onto the cool metal floor.  Nerves in her leg zinging with each step as she padded over to the counter and pulled out a drawer.  Dr. Chakwas stirred and lifted her head.

              “Up walking?” she murmured.  “How are you feeling?”

              “Like new,” Shepard said quickly and pulled out the next door.  She rifled through it.

              “Looking for something?” Dr. Chakwas stood.

              “My Omni-Tool,” Shepard said. 

“Damaged, I’m afraid.  Adams repaired it though.  It’s up in your room.”

              Shepard frowned shoving the drawer back in and turning to face Dr. Chakwas.  “What’s the update?  How long have I been out?”

              “The update?” Dr. Chakwas chuckled.  “Very well.  You’ve been out five days.”

              “Five days.” Shepard’s eyes flew open. “Five days?”

              “Takes a while to set legs.  You broke your femur.  Not to mention your brain edema.  We nearly lost you.”

              “You said I was fine!” Shepard snapped.  “Kept hearing you say it.”

              “Sometimes the best medicine is a positive attitude.  You’re alive, aren’t you?”

              “We got the shard?  Where is it?”

              “What shard?” Dr. Chakwas frowned.  “Let me check you again.  That concussion may addle your thinking for a while.”

              “Where’s James?”

              “You can see whoever you want.  Let me check you out first though.  Sit over here.” Dr. Chakwas tapped the metal table.

              Shepard sighed and walked over swinging her arms.  Her legs ached.

              “Then, I can go?  I’m back on duty?”

              “May want to change out of that hospital gown, but yes.  Assuming the scan doesn’t show anything, you can go.  Your legs are still healing.  You’re not doing anything strenuous for a while I’m afraid, and it’s not just me telling you that.  You try it, your body’s going to tell you same thing.”

              Shepard hopped up onto the metal bench and cringed from the stretch in her legs.

              “See, right there.  Go slow.”

              Shepard nodded.  She had a lot to catch up on.

 

* * *

 

              Shepard shuffled up the gangway to the cockpit.  The familiar green globe of Elliom hung in the distance. Anchor was nowhere around that she’d seen so far.

              “What’s going on Joker?”

              He yelped.

              “Sleeping again?” Shepard said.  “You had to hear me coming.  Probably sounded like Jacob Marley’s ghost dragging myself up here.”

              Joker twisted around.  “You’re up.  Welcome to the Broken Bones Club, by the way.”

              “Membership sucks.”

              “Uh, you’re telling me.”

              “Everything all right up here?  Anything I need to know about?”

              “Actually …” Joker peeked around her.

              “He’s … I don’t know where he is.” Shepard waved off toward the CIC.  “Not here.  Just say it.”

              “Probe found a grounded cruiser three thousand kilometers off the research site.”

              Shepard frowned.  “When did you find it?”

              “About the time you got back.”

              “And?  Have we found anything?”

              “Kinda got to look before you find something,” Joker said.

              Shepard’s eyebrows furrowed.  She braced a hand against the wall as she shifted her weight.  “Nothing’s been done?”

              Joker shook his head.  “Anchor didn’t even want me telling people.  Wanted to head back.”

              “But we’re here.” Shepard pointed out to the planet cresting the cockpit window.

              “I may have let it slip in front of a few people.  Honest mistake and all.”

              “So, there’s been a standoff?”

              “Yeah.  Kinda.  He thinks he’s CO and everything.  Guess technically is … was.  The rest of us knew you’d be coming around eventually.  Figured you might see things different.  You’re a softie for not leaving people to die on forgotten planets.”

              Shepard gave a growly sigh.  “Five days ...”  She turned to go back down the gangway.  “Thanks.”

              “Hey, Commander …”  She paused and looked back at him.  He lowered his voice.  “You think he pushed you or something?  You know, down there?”

              “Why?” Shepard frowned.  “Is that what it looked like?”

              “Uh, I dunno.  James said it kinda looked strange.”

              Shepard stared at the floor trying to replay it in her mind.  If she hadn’t been warned against him, she probably wouldn’t even consider the idea.  She’d probably biased James and the other, too.  It had been strange though.

              “I don’t know,” Shepard said finally.  “That’s a big accusation to throw around though.”

              “Uh.  Right.”  Joker looked away and turned in his seat.  “Later, Commander.”

 

* * *

 

              “Lola,” James walked out of the elevator and crossed the cargo bay to her.  She didn’t bother standing up front the crate she was using a bench.  “You been waiting down here for me?”

              “You or Cortez or someone,” she said.  “What’s this about finding a downed ship?”

              “Talked to Joker, huh?” James crossed his arms.  “Kinda had some difficult words with XO Anchor.  Think he wrote me up even.”

              “Good luck submitting it out here.”

              “He’s been using your quantum thing.  Talking to the counsel.  Pretty sure he’s passed along his disagreements with all of us.”

              “Us?”

              “Esteban, Adams, probably Joker too.  Briggs, Jensen.  We’re not on board with just taking off.”

              “He won’t check it out?” Shepard said.  “We’ve been orbiting for five days.”

              “Says it’s a risk with the wildlife.  Been fighting with us and talking to the council.  We’ve been waiting for you.”

              “Well, we’re going down to see.  Right away.  Get the others around.”

              “We?  Nuhuh, Lola.  I mean, you’re the boss and all, but think about it.  Your legs?  You ain’t going down there again.”

              “I can …” She trailed off and looked off.  “Okay.  Fine.”

              James nodded.

              “Get everyone around.”  Shepard stood up slowly as her legs popped.  “And, hey,” she looked at him, “where’s that Mass Effect shard?”

              “That thing you were after?” James said.  “Anchor’s got it, of course.  Haven’t seen it since we got back up here.”

              Shepard gritted her teeth.  “You seen him?  He up?”

              “Went up to the bridge, I think.  Us talking here, though?  Probably on his way down now.”

              Shepard shuffled to the cargo elevator.  Briggs and Plastino walked off and stared at her as she hobbled by.  Her head still hurt as she moved, but she tried to give them a smile.  Anchor wasn’t going to be happy to see her.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

 

“Thank you, Councilors,” Shepard said.

Anchor stood sour faced next to her.  Shepard turned the black stone over in her hands.  It was the real shard.  She had been suspicious at first after ordering him to relinquish it in front of the Council.  She could feel a resounding, biotic prickling quality to it as she held it in her hand.  It was the real thing. 

“It’s good to see will be all right, Spectre,” Tevos said.  “It was a shock to hear.  Good thing your XO was able to control things.  He’s been very helpful.”

“I bet,” Shepard said flatly.  “You’re all aware a downed cruiser was found on the planet.  Probably the Medurrus.  It’s been five days.  We haven’t sent anyone down to investigate it.”

“We did investigate,” Anchor said frostily.  “Several probes have been dispatched.  It’s an old wreak.  Nothing there but that downed ship.”

“Downed ship.” Shepard turned to him.  “That downed ship could have survivors, Anchor.”

“Or, we could lose some of our marines.  The planet is dangerous.  While you were down, I had to make the hard calls.”

“Hard calls,” Shepard snorted.  “It shouldn’t be a hard call.  You should have been down there looking for them.”

“Enough,” Mason said.  “Make your decision on how to proceed, Spectre, but remember you are a week behind schedule.  I agree with investigating this ship on foot though.  It could be the general and his men.”

“General Taurin could still be alive if that’s his ship,” Sparatus said.  “He and his men are true heros.  Fighters.  I agree with Mason.  We need to have you go see.  That’s part of the reason you went.”

“But not the main reason,” Tevos said.  “If it is dangerous, you can’t sacrifice the primary objective to complete the secondary.”

“Losing a few marines won’t sacrifice the mission,” Ilk said tiredly.

“We’re not losing anyone,” Shepard said.  “But five days without any action?  It’s unconscionable.” 

“Anchor just chose to investigate more conservatively,” Mason said. “That doesn’t make it a wrong approach. In fact, he waited in orbit for you to make the decision once you were fit for duty again.  Sometimes more lives are saved through conservative measures than the brazen ones.”

“How many are saved by doing nothing?” Shepard asked but moved on.  “We’ll check this out and update you.”

She curled her fingers around the shard in her palm and cut the feed.  She turned to Anchor.  He stared coolly at her.

“I left the decision for you,” he said.  “Just because we have different approaches—”

“Enough,” she said.  “Come with me.  We’re going down to the cargo bay.  The landing party is getting ready.”

“Very well,” he grumbled falling in beside her.  “That shard should be kept under watch.  I can put in the armory for you.  Keep the combination.  Just you and I.”

“James manages the armory.”

“If you trust him, he can know the combination too.”

“I’ll take that into consideration.”  She shoved it into a pocket, and the hard lines deepened around his mouth as his eyes lingered on it. 

She led them to the elevator.  They stepped in.

“You look weary,” he said as the doors slid shut.  “Are you really ready for duty?”

She glanced at him.  “Ready to take back my duty.  Definitely.”

“Very well.”

They stood in silence for a moment.

“I told you on Elliom to take the shard with you, not hand it to me,” Shepard said.

“You were so keen to have it,” he said.  “It was the first thing you wanted when I saw today.”

“You knocked me off balance on that bridge.”  Shepard watched him for a reaction.

“I tried to help you,” he said.  “You tumbled back.  I couldn’t help.”

“The risk of dropping the shard resolved itself pretty fast after I went to reach for it.”

He didn’t say anything crossing his arms with a furrowing brow.  The elevator stopped and the doors opened.  She stared at him a moment longer then caught the door as it started to close.  James and two other marines collected rifles from the armory.  Armor leaned against the side of the shuttle.

“I want you to lead the team, Lieutenant Commander,” Shepard said as she stepped into the bay.

Anchor stared at Cortez, who circled the shuttle punching buttons on a datapad.

“Getting off the elevator?” Shepard asked.

“What?  Oh.” He blinked at her and then stepped out.  “Of course.”

“Did you hear what I said, Lieutenant Commander?”

Anchor shifted.  “I was distracted, Commander.”

Shepard glanced at Cortez.  He squatted down to check under the shuttle.

“Why’s he doing that?” Anchor motioned at Cortez.

“Doing what?” Shepard’s frown deepened.  “He flies the shuttle.  He’s doing a pre-mission inspection.  Why does that matter?”

“Seems like he should be helping load. Helping Vega or helping you.”

“Helping me what?”

“Get ready for the mission?  Should we leave the shard in the armory?”

Shepard stared at him. 

“Pay attention, Commander,” Shepard snapped.

His head whipped to her.  His eyes drifted out past her shoulder and narrowed.  It had to be James or the other marines behind her.  A quick peek confirmed the men were smirking, but keeping the appearance of being engrossed in sorting heat clips.  She hadn’t kept her voice down.

“Now listen.”  Shepard turned back to Anchor.  “I will stay aboard and be in contact with you.  I need you—”

“You’re not going?” Anchor’s eyebrows shot up.

“That’s what I said when –”

“But, ma’am.”

“Stop interrupting me, Commander.”

Anchor fidgeted with his uniform cuffs.  His eyes drifted back to Cortez, and a flush rose up his neck.  Maybe he was afraid.  She couldn’t remember from his records whether he’d seen action or not.  It was probably his first time leading a team into combat. 

“I, uh … Of course.  Just unexpected is all,” he said.  “From everything I’d heard, you always lead groundside.”

Shepard’s eyes ached as she stared at him through the bright bay light.  Her headache was getting worse.  She had to wrap this up.

“You’re going with Vega, Stofsky, Briggs, and Jensen.  Get your stuff around.  I’ll communicate with you from the CIC.”

Shepard didn’t waste any more words and walked over to the marine.

“He what?  Seriously, no way,” Jensen said to James.

“Not joking.  Just this biotic flash, batted the bullet away.”  James laughed.

“That’s not even possible,” Stofsky sputtered.

James grinned.  “If you met Major—"

“Listen up,” Shepard snapped with enough edge that more than a few eyes widened.  The chatter stopped.  “Lieutenant Commander Anchor is leading the team.”

Vega shot her a sharp look over his shoulder.  She gave him a hard look back. 

“Aye, aye, Commander,” James said with a wrinkling brow.

Stofsky ran a hand along his red cornrows and shared a look with Briggs.  Something drew Jensen’s attention, and she twisted to squinted around Shepard.  Shepard followed her gaze to the shuttle.  Anchor loomed over Cortez gesturing as if ordering him about.

“Lieutenant Commander Anchor,” Shepard boomed.

Anchor’s mouth twisted. He glanced between her and Cortez, then ambled over.

“Let’s collect everything quickly,” Shepard said.

“I thought we had another hour,” Anchor said quickly.

“We have everything, Vega?” Shepard looked back at him.

“Commander.  We’re ready.”

“Let’s go then.”  She twisted to Anchor.  “I recommend finding your armor.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

 

Shepard waited in the CIC watching the crew.  The shuttled should be arriving near the crash site.  A year and half without resources was going to be a long time to go without and survive, especially turiens.  Some of the plant life was dextran, but not much.  Shepard strolled into the war room out of sight of the crew and shut the door.  She leaned over the center table with shaky arms and gritted her teeth.  It was quieter and dimmer here.

A light blinked on the edge of her vision on the quantum communicator.  Shepard walked over with a frown.  Lights blinked across the QEC comm console.  She ran a hand over the buttons and the light went out.  It was acting funny again.  Damn, she wished she was a better engineer.  She’d have Adams look at it later.  It seemed to be functioning though.  She punched in the sequence as if calling the council.  It looked like it would go through.

“Nearing drop site.”  Cortez’s voice came over the comm.

Shepard sighed touching her forehead remembering the look James had shot her.  Maybe she was wrong sending Anchor.  He was XO.  It would for neither of them to go down with the ground team.  She didn’t know anything about him on the field though.  He could freeze up under pressure and put all her soldiers at risk. 

“Are you there?”  It was Anchor’s voice.

“Yes.  I read you, Lieutenant Commander.”  Shepard touched her earpiece.

“Almost to the ground.  Arriving near the downed ship, Commander.”

Metal scraped as if settling against bedrock.  Shuttle doors slid open.

“Move, move.”

Footsteps scrambled out across metal onto rocky dirt.  Must have found a clearing close enough to land and unload.

“Landsite secure.”  It was James.

“Cortez, keep the shuttle grounded here,” Anchor said.  “We may need to retreat.  Only move on my order.”

“Aye, aye,” Cortez agreed slowly.

Not a typical command, but if Anchor wasn’t used to seeing action, maybe a straightforward escape route was foremost on his mind.  Footsteps shuffled and armor clanked.

“How close did you get to wreak?” Shepard asked.

“It’s down a ways, Commander,” Cortez said.  “It was visible before I landed.  Thick forest.  Hard to see too far ahead.”

Shepard paced.  This must be the first time in years she wasn’t with her team on the ground.  Maybe it wasn’t fitting for the CO to be vaulting into the shuttle at the first sign of trouble.  She hadn’t gotten where she was though by hanging back and telling everyone else how to do it.  She should be down there. 

Her head floated, and she felt for the wall.  She sank down quickly and waited for it to pass.  All she could hear was movement and breathing.

“We’re gettimg close to visualizing it.”  It was Anchor.

Shepard wished she could see it.  Once she got back to Earth and worked through this implant issue, she’d find a good fight.  Not one with words and treaties, a real fight with guns and biotics.  Though maybe she’d never use biotic again.  The thought sobered her.  Maybe that part of her was gone.  It had been part of her for her whole life. She had been getting good wrapping things in her barrier.  To never use biotics again, feel it again, a whole part of her military tactics and talent gone.  It would change an extraordinary soldier into a mediocre one.  Her training and all the combat she knew revolved around it.  She was too old now to relearn it and hope to get to where she had been before.  She stretched her hands out in front of her.  To never to see the ripples of blue across her skin again or feel the electrical corona …

“None of the ship occupants visualized,” Anchor said.

“Orders?” It was James.

Anchor spoke. “Split up.  We’ll fanout.  Search for signs of any survivors.  James, Briggs, and Jensen.  Stofsky, you’re with me.”

Maybe she should have sent down more men.  If they were just searching, maybe she could go down.  Maybe it would be low key enough her leg—

“Movement!  Take cover!”  James yelled.

Shepard’s spine snapped straight as gunfire sounded.  Shepard groped against the wall rising to her feet.

“Anchor!  What’s going on?”

Gunfire, yelling, scrambling.

“Anchor?”  Shepard tried again.  Nothing.  “Cortez?  You read me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“What’s going on?  You hear the gunfire?”

“Yes.  I can’t see it.  Sounds faint when not listening to the comm.”

“Vega?” Shepard called pressing her earpiece. 

“Here,” James said out of breath.

“What’s happening?”

Shots, rushing, and sliding sounds.  Charging for cover maybe.

“What’s going on?” Shepard breathed faster pacing as her head pulsed with pain.  “Vega?”

“Commander.  Can’t find Anchor.”

“What about Stofsky?  Jensen?  Briggs?”

“Here,” James said.  “Just found Stofsky.  Taking cover.  Those creatures.”

“Use the biotic grenades.  Scare them off,” Shepard said.  “Vega?”

No answer.  Shepard tore out of the war room to the elevator.  She smashed the button.

“Vega?”  Shepard tried again.  “Anchor?”  Still nothing.

She rushed into the elevator as the doors opened.   Diaz and Plastino spun from the bank of terminals as she burst into the cargo bay.  Their eyes widened watching her.

“Vega, do you read me?”  Nothing.  “Cortez?”

“Commander,” James said.

“Damnit, James!  What the hell’s going on?”

Maybe Anchor had fallen.  If he was just injured, he should be responding.  Maybe he was worse than injured.

“You found Anchor yet?”

“Negative.”

“Stofsky?  You were with him.  Anything?”

No answer.

“Stofsky’s comm’s offline,” James said.  “He’s shaking his head though.  Not sure where Anchor went.”

“Damn,” Shepard growled.  “Cortez?”

“Yes, Commander.”

“Step outside the shuttle.  How far does the fighting sound?”

More shots burst in the background. 

James spoke again panting. “Briggs with me.  Stofsky, Jensen fall back.”

“Let me check, Commander,” Cortez said.  There was the sound of the shuttle doors sliding open.  Cortez’s breath caught in the mic. 

“What is it?  Cortez?” Shepard asked.

“Yeah, yeah.  Found Anchor.”

Dead.  Not dead.  Even a shoddy soldier like him on her watch.

“Says his comm’s out too.  Uh … here—”

“Commander.”  It was Anchor.  He must be talking into Cortez’s comm.

“What the hell’s going on, Anchor?”

“Under attack, Commander.”

“Is that Anchor?”  James asked on the comm.

“Fall back to the shuttle,” Shepard ordered.  “Cortez, see if you can pick them.”

“What about me?” Anchor said.

“Sit your ass in the shuttle.  You’re coming back.  All of you.  We need to sort this out.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

 

 

Shepard charged up to the shuttle as the doors slid open.  A sheen of sweat caught the light on James’s forehead as he jumped out of the shuttle.

“What happened?” Shepard demanded.

Briggs and Stofsky hopped out behind him.  Jensen watched Shepard warily standing in the doorway of the shuttle before dropping down into the cargo bay.

“Those creatures rushed us,” James said.  “Way more than last time, Commander.  Almost took down Briggs.”

Shepard sized up Briggs.  He stood a little unsteady but not much worse than the others.

“I’m fine, Commander,” Briggs said.  “Just got the drop on me is all.  Vega saved my ass.”

“And what about you?” Shepard asked searching past their faces for Anchor. 

He pushed through Briggs and Stofsky into the cargo bay.

“I called a retreat to the shuttle, but my comm went out.  No one must have heard me.”

“And you left them?” Shepard asked coming up to him.

“I thought they were right behind me.”

“You thought they were right behind you …” Shepard repeated.  “Did you even look?”

Anchor’s face reddened.  “Of course.  I thought they were right there!”

“The gunshots in the distance instead of ‘right behind you’ didn’t tip you off?”

Stofsky came up beside Anchor.  “Ma’am, I—”

“Stofsky.” Shepard held up her hand and gave him a pointed look until he stood silent.  She turned back to Anchor.  “How did you get separated?”

Anchor shook his head and looked off.  “I don’t know, Commander.  I just turned around.  Stofsky wasn’t there.   I don’t know how he lost me.”

Cortez swayed in the shuttle’s doorway.  His face scrunched, and his eyes glinted with a hard edge when they met hers.  Shepard took a step back from Anchor and looked each one in the face.

“We’re going to debrief.  Take a few minutes.”

Her earpiece crackled.  “Commander.”

“Joker?”

“A distress signal just activated near the ship.  To the west.”

“Survivors,” Shepard said.  “Must have heard the commotion.”

James shifted on his feet with his helmet under his arm.  He caught Shepard’s eye.

“Send Briggs and Jensen with me,” James said.  “We’ll get ‘em.  We’ll stock up on grenades.  We know how many to expect this time.”

Shepard held James’s eyes and considered.

“Okay,” she said finally.

James’s face split with a grin and he jogged toward the armory.  Shepard stopped him.

“You’ll take Plastino and Diaz too.  Stofsky?”

Stofsky looked up.  “Yes, ma’am?”

“How you feeling?  Briggs?  Jensen?”

“Fine.”  Jensen’s short hair waved with her head bob.

“Just fine,” Briggs agreed.

Stofsky nodded.

“Okay.  You all go with James.  First we’ll debrief upstairs.  You’ve got a few minutes.”

Anchor stepped up to Shepard. “I—”

“Stop,” Shepard interrupted.  “Back to the CIC.  We’ll talk later.”

Anchor’s face stiffened.  He seemed about to say something but then brushed past her to the elevator.

“Aye, aye,” he muttered.

James called over to Plastino and Diaz.  Briggs lead the others to the armory and started changing out guns and gathering grenades.

Cortez hoped out of the shuttle and came up to Shepard.  “Commander.”

“You okay?” Shepard eyed him critically.  “You see any of it?”

“No.  Uh …”

“What is it?” Shepard straightened herself to face him.

Cortez looked past Shepard’s shoulder.  Shepard turned and followed his gaze.  Anchor stared fixedly at them from the elevator.  The doors close cutting off his hard eyes.

“What is it, Cortez?”

“Um …” He rubbed his forehead.  “Don’t know if I should say anything.  I don’t know anything for sure.”

“What is it?  You obviously have some concern.  Out with it.”

Cortez glanced around then said quietly, “There was a strange reading when I was checking the shuttle earlier, before we went down.  I really thought it was nothing.  A small glitch to look at later.”

“But?”

“But,” Cortez stepped closer, “when I got out of the shuttle down there, Anchor was there.  Only he wasn’t trying to get into the shuttle.  He was messing around with one of the back panels.”

“Messing around?”

“Up to something.  I checked the system on return.  That funny reading’s gone.”

“And what does that mean?”

Cortez sighed.  “I’m not sure.  Only, it’s suspicious.”

Shepard nodded.  “Look into what he could’ve been doing in that panel.  Run diagnostics on the shuttle again.  Be thorough.  We’ll delay going back down until it’s all checked out.”

“If you want a thorough check, maybe hour to hour and half,” Cortez said.

“Get started.  I’ll let James know we’re waiting on that.”

Cortez walked over to his tool box.  It was heavy enough he dragged it to the shuttle.  Shepard’s forehead pounded.  She touched her face, so hot and sweaty.  For an instant, she saw the grassy lawns of headquarters and the cool winds coming off the ocean.  Wishing for Earth weather while in space?  She was becoming a grounder.

Shepard walked over to James.  “Hey.  Cortez’s running some diagnostics on the shuttle first.”

“Why?  We need down there.  Those things could be all worked up.  We don’t know shape those survivors are in.”

Shepard touched her forehead.  It was getting worse.  With the adrenaline subsiding, she was left with the consequences of racing around furiously through lights and sound.  Maybe it was the stress.

“You okay, Lola?” James came up close and peered at her.

Shepard dropped the hand on her forehead and straightened.  “Fine.  We’ll go ahead and debrief.”  James opened his mouth but Shepard beat him.  “We’re waiting on that shuttle check first.  That’s the way it is.”

James sighed but nodded.  “Aye, aye, Commander.”

“Get the others upstairs.  The old war room.  Fifteen minutes.”

Shepard rushed to the elevator and rode up to the crew deck.  She bumped into Anchor standing by the elevator doors.

“I said to go the CIC, Lieutenant Commander.  What didn’t you understand about that?”

“That’s where I’m going.  Just need to—”

“Enough.”  Shepard jammed a finger in his chest.  “You’re relieved of duty.”

“What?” His eyes widened.  He lurched to catch the elevator doors before they closed. “I’m on my way up right now.”

“Too late.  Go back to your bunk.  You’re relieved of duty.”

Anchor’s face scrunched with fists clenching at this side.  She could do him one favor by sending him on before he said something.

“Dismissed,” Shepard said.

He burst past Shepard to the crew bunks.

 

* * *

 

Shepard flew through the med bay door.  Dr. Chakwas rotated in her seat before seeing Shepard.  She shot up and rushed over.

“What happened?  You look …”

“Awful?”

“You were doing so much better.”

“I need something more.  What can you give me?”

“It’s too soon for more pills.”

“Get them for me anyway.”  Shepard moved to the sink and grabbed a glass.  Dr. Chakwas wasn’t moving.  “Now!”

“I was going to say something.” Dr. Chakwas put a hand on Shepard’ back.  “I can give you pills, but what you really need is something only you can give yourself.”

“I’ll take the pills.”  Shepard shrugged Dr. Chakwas’s hand off and filled the glass.

Dr. Chakwas looked at her.  “You must really be feeling bad to get yourself the glass of water.”

“The pills, doctor!”  Shepard put her palm out emphatically.

Dr. Chackwas’s lips pulled tight.  She backed up to the cabinet and took down a bottle.  She set a green capsule in Shepard’s hand.

“I want two.”

Dr. Chakwas’s frown deepened, but she tapped out another capsule.  She set it next to the other in Shepard’s hand.  “Fine.  There you go.  They’ll only help you so much you know.”

“I know.”  Shepard slapped the hand to her mouth then brought the glass of water up.  She gulped it down.

“All of it.”

“Damnit!” Shepard spat holding the glass out in one hand.  “I know!”  She frowned and gulped at the water again.

“You are the surliest patient.”

Shepard smacked the empty glass down on the counter.  “See!  I drank your whole damn glass full of water.  Got it.”

Dr. Chakwas folded her arms as Shepard passed by her.  “Go then.  You know what to do if you really want to help yourself.”

Shepard marched to the elevator.  She called the elevator and backed up to peek into the crew bunks.  Anchor’s back was to her.  He sat on a bottom bunk hunched over with his chin resting on his hands.  She tapped her foot as she waited by the elevator.  These pills better kick in soon.

 

* * *

 

They filed out of the war room.  James, Briggs, and Jensen trailed out to the elevator, and Shepard walked over to the galaxy map.

“I’ll be in the cargo bay when you’re ready, Commander,” James said.

“I’m waiting Cortez’s call, then you’ll be on your way,” she said with an absent nod.

Shepard bent over the railing as her eyes rested unfocused on the map of star systems.  Jane stepped in beside her.  

“Are you okay, Commander?”

“Yes.”  Shepard tapped her fingers on the railing.  “Just taking a moment.”

Jane leaned forward on the railing next to her.  Officers walked around them, the elevator doors opened and closed, the galaxy map hovered bright in front of her.  Jane shifted.

“Commander?”

“Yes, Ensign?”

“How long is Lieutenant Commander Anchor suspended?”

Shepard sighed.  The pills weren’t working fast enough.

“The Lieutenant Commander?” Shepard scrunched her eyes to think.  Her thoughts were fuzzy.  She straightened against the railing and faced Jane.  “Indefinitely.”

Jane’s mouth opened slightly.  “Indefinitely, Commander?”

“Indefinitely.  Or …” Shepard moved to the elevator.  “Or … until I say so.”

 

* * *

 

Shepard touched the datapad on her desk.  It was her private one.  The one she used for her Spectre activities.  She didn’t remember leaving it on top the stack of folders.  She turned it on using her fingerprint, but everything seemed in order.  She tucked it under into a desk drawer.  She checked the information clip.  It still tumbling around in the dreadnaught.  She set it back in the display case.     

Shepard switched the lights off on the fish tank.  With the auxiliary lights out, the room sank into darkness.  It was darker than her room as home with the city lights coming through the window.  Though that wasn’t home, Earth.  This was home, space. 

Shepard stumbled against her desk chair and fumbled on the shelf by the empty hamster cage.  Her fingertips touched the cool metal of the button.  She felt along the wall, careful with the two steps down, and finally bumped against the bed.  She crawled across it and lay back letting her body go limp.  The stars shimmered overhead.  Were they closer than on Earth?  She wasn’t sure anymore.  She held the button to her chest and twisted it around in her fingers.  No, the stars really weren’t much closer from here.  For a moment, she even missed the moon.

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

 

“Commander.”  James’s voice on the comm jolted her awake.  “Esteban finished his diagnostics on the shuttle.”

Shepard stumbled out of bed.  She fumbled through the darkness and smacked her leg against the table.  She cursed picking her way up the stairs to the blinking on her desk on.  The comm flicked on.

“Understood, James.  Any issues?”

“Negative.”

His sounded strong without hesitation. 

“Take the landing party down.”

“Aye, aye.”

“And James?”

“Yeah, Lola?”

“Give those electric bastards hell.”

“Aye, aye!”

Shepard pushed back from the desk and felt carefully for the chair before lowering herself down.  A long breath escaped her lips as her fingertips dug in her pocket.  The button was still there.  She hadn’t lost it in her sleep.  She’d better change and get ready.  Sleeping in her uniform – tsk, tsk.  James wasn’t going to spare any time getting back in the thick of it.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, Lieutenant Commander Vega.  Where are you?” Shepard stood in the war room speaking into her comm.

“We’re on the move,” James said through the comm.  “Distress signal still meters off.  No activity.  Pretty quiet.”

“Cortez?” Shepard asked.  “How’s it going?”

“No problems, Commander.  I’ll come around if you need me, Vega.”

James laughed.  “Uh, with this canopy cover?  That ain’t gonna be easy, Esteban.  Gonna need to drop ropes or something.  Appreciate the sentiment though.”

“Worried, Vega?” Shepard smirked.  “Been slacking on your 180 pull ups?”

“Not thinking of me.  Just thinking of poor Briggs here.”  James sounded breathless.

Rustling and heaving breathing filled the background.  They must be running along the forest floor.

“Ha ha.  Funny one.”  Briggs’s voice.

Jensen’s voice came on.  “Ya know, someone says ‘that’s funny’ instead of laughing, it needs some work.”

“Well, I wanted planning on using it again,” James said.

“Don’t quit your day job,” Jensen said.

James chuckled.  “I wish it was only a day job!”

Shepard touched her ear and looked at the time.  “How we doing?”

“If you don’t hear screams or gunshots, we’re okay,” James said.

“Yeah.  I’m with Jensen here,” Shepard said.  “Don’t quit your day job.”

“Again, I say ‘what day job?’”

Someone snickered.  Shepard smirked and lowered herself onto the floor.  Feet scrambled and crunching through overgrowth. 

“Commander, we’re getting close.” James panted then said sharply, “Wait!”

“Hold back,” Briggs said.

“What is it, James?” Shepard asked.

James didn’t answer.  Shepard strained to hear anything.  A pop.  Two pops.  Then many. 

Shepard spoke into her comm.  “Is that—”

“Gunfire!” James hollered.  “Let’s go.  Diaz, Plastino, Briggs left.  Keep in sight.  Rest with me.”

Shepard turned down the volume in her ear.  The background pounded banging and thumping with feedback.  The gunfire was definitely getting closer.

“Cortez?”

“Yes, Commander?”

“You nearby in case of extraction?”

“Affirmative.  Right overhead.”

“You see anything?”

“Negative.  Just trees, Commander.  We’re quite a ways from the crash site.”

“Okay.”  Shepard wiped sweaty hands on her pants and sat up straighter.

“Status, James?”

“Getting a visual just now, Commander.”

“And?”

“It’s the turiens, Commander.”

Shepard let out a breath she didn’t remember holding.  “Are they under attack?”

“Affirmative.  Briggs, team.”  James was probably making motions.  Gunfire burst over the comm, and Shepard flinched.  “Jensen over here.”

A volley of bullets burst through the comm.  Someone yelling in the background. 

“Go! Go!” James’s voice yelled over rifle fire.

Unknown voices murmured in the background.  Shepard held back from interrupt them in combat.  She waited.

“Cortez?”  James yelled.

“Yes, sir?”

“Need extraction.  Drop those ropes.”

“Really?” Cortez’s voice raised.  “I can’t … I’ll figure it out, sir.”

Shepard rested her head against the wall and tapped her fingernails on the floor.  She should have gone.  Even if she only remained in the shuttle, she could be lowering the ropes.  Cortez was driving the damn shuttle.  She had some damned good blue steel cord in her belt pack upstairs.  She should have sent it with them.  Maybe Cortez didn’t even have any rope.  Shepard bolted to her feet and paced.

“I’m down as low as I can go,” Cortez said.

“Jenson!” James yelled.  “What the hell you doing?”

“What’s going on, Vega?” Shepard finally said.

“Jensen’s climbing a damn tree,” he yelled through the gunfire.

“Someone’s gotta be in the shuttle to lower the rope,” Jensen said.

“Cover her!” James said.

Shepard paced.  James continued issuing orders over roaring hisses and shots. 

“Almost …” Jensen’s voice strained.  “I’m up!”

A couple hoots cheered her on.

“I’m dropping weapons,” she said.

“Ropes!” James said.

“In a minute.”

Thumps.

“You’re hitting us, Jensen!”  James yowled.  “Hey, you guys there, grab those.”

He must be talking to the turiens.

“Got one, Boss,” Diaz said.

“You’ll get a medal later,” James shouted.  “Start using it.  Route them, Plastino.”

The shooting ramped with the sound of grenades exploding. 

“Watch those!” James yelled.  “Bounce off a tree, you’ll kill us.”

“Wasn’t thinking, Commander.”

“Yeah.  No crap.”

More firing boomed through the mic.

“Go! Go! Go!  Diaz, Stofsky move forward.  You three over there!  Keep firing.  Can you get them moved to the back?”

He must be talking to the turiens.  It was deafening.  Shepard turned her volume down again.

“Ropes, sir,” Briggs called.

“No!  Keep on them!  They’re retreating,” James said.

Shepard stopped pacing.  “They’re backing down?”

Jenson got on.  “Climb the rope.  I’ll help you guys up.”

“Cancel that,” James said.  “Focus on these ugly assed things.  Don’t stop!”

“Sorry, sir,” Jensen murmured.

“They’re retreating?” Shepard asked.

“Uh … retreating sounds too intelligent,” James panted.  “But, yeah, they’re leaving.  That extra firepower.  Maybe the grenades.  Keep the shoots going, guys.”

Gunfire continued.

“You still have the turiens, right?” Shepard said.

“Uh,” James paused.  “Yeah.  Right here.”

“How many survivors?”

“Eleven.”

“Is General Taurin there?”

Muffled talking mixed with gunfire.

James’s voice turned back to the comm.  “Safe.”

“They know anything about the researchers?”

“Said they’re dead.  Died a year ago.”

Shepard let out a loud breath.  “Okay.  Can you get out of there?”

“They fell back,” James said.  “Hold!”

She’d gotten used to gunfire in the background.  When it stopped, her ears rang.

“How many can you carry, Cortez?”

“This shuttle?  Probably need two trips to be safe.”

James came on, voice at first unintelligible speaking to someone who didn’t have a comm.  “They’re saying there’s a safe area to the west.”

“Okay.  Good. Cortez, follow them west.  Look for open ground.  We’ll take two trips.  The turiens first.  Lieutenant Commander, you able to hold out for a second shuttle back?”

“Uh, yeah.  General Taurin wants to stay with us until—”

“Absolutely not.  He comes up with his men. First shuttle.”

“Uh … I don’t think you can stop him, Commander.”

Shepard drew out a long breath, “Fine.  Can you hold out?”

“Affirmative.  They’re saying they have a camp that’s fortified.  It’s away from the ‘Kalper’ territory.”

“Good.”

Shepard nodded wiping sweat off her face.  She should have been on that shuttle, but she couldn’t hang onto a wrong decision.  Everyone was safe.  She’d made one right decision though: putting James in charge.  Pinned down in the forest, she didn’t want to think about what would have happened if Anchor had been in command.

 

* * *

 

“Commander?” Anchor said.

Shepard waved him off as she walked into the cargo bay.

“I told you to go to your quarters,” she said.

“You said ‘relieved of duty.’  Didn’t know that meant grounded.”

“It does for now.  Go.”

Anchor’s nostrils flared.  The second shuttle had just come in.  Rescued turien soldiers sat in a heap in the cargo bay’s corner.  They nodded weakly to her in their faded and scratched armor.  Dr. Chakwas bent over them with a scanner.  The shuttle’s hatch opened.

“Go,” Shepard repeated to Anchor and started to the shuttle.

“There are turiens here now?” Anchor said.

Shepard spun on him.  “It will be tight quarters on the way home.  Get up there, or I’ll put you under arrest.”

“You’re overreacting,” Anchor clenched his teeth.  “I made a poor decision in command.  It’s not a reason—”

“You’re insubordinate.  That’s why you’re relieved of duty, Lieutenant Commander.”

Soldiers filed out of the shuttle.

 “Stofsky, Brigg,” Shepard called.  They looked droopy and exhausted, but hearing their names, they ambled over.  “Take XO Anchor to engineering.  Leeward side.  Handcuff him to the wall.  Then stay with him.”

Stofsky and Briggs’s eyes widened.  They glanced at each other.

“Now!” she said.

They stumbled forward, but Anchor wrenched his arm away from them.

“I’ll go!”

“To engineering,” Shepard said.

“No.  I mean, I’ll go to my quarters.”

 “Too late for that.” Shepard tilted her head toward the elevators.  “Go or they’ll drag you.”

Briggs reached for him, and Anchor shoved his hand away.  Stofsky took a step closer.

“Fine!  I’m going.”

Anchor stormed to the elevators with Stofsky and Briggs on his heels.  Everyone had exited the shuttle.  Cortez caught her eye and took a determined step toward her, but she held up a hand.  She had things to do before debriefing with anyone.  A gray turien with patchy red armor shook James’s hand.  The stooped posture and sweat slicked hair didn’t dampen James’s wide smile.

“Excellent work, Lieutenant Commander Vega.” Shepard came up to them.

“Aw.  Shucks, Lo—Commander.” James laughed and moved past her to the armory.

“Commander Shepard,” the turien said.

“General Taurin.”

“You came a long way for a dozen turiens.” 

Shepard smiled.  Here she was now -- shard safe in the armory and the turien crew rescued on the Normandy.  Over a month in space and now the was mission was achieved. She’d need to get used to delayed gratification if these were her missions in the future.

“Living on an uncolonized planet for over a year, General.  I think you’re overdue a rescue.”

“I’m sorry about your researchers.  We came across the facility.  No one was left.  I think they were killed by native life.  The native life …”

 “As we saw.”

“They drove us from our ship.  We realized after a week of fighting them that we were close to their nesting area.  Carried the distress beacon as far as we could.  I’m sorry your men had to take that.”

“I don’t think they are.” Shepard glanced over at James grinning as he sorted weapons to log back into the armory.

“Eager for a fight.  I can respect that,” Taurin said.  “After a year fighting things wanting to eat you and long out of heat clips, I’m ready for something else.  Like hot food.  I assume you have turien food?  We were fortunate to be on a planet with some dextran plant life.  Eating dirt sometimes seemed more appetizing.”

“Understandable.  Please …” Shepard put a hand out toward the elevator.  “Your men can share space with the crew.  We have cots and partitions.  Ample space with a lounge and observation deck for setting up beds.”

“After sleeping on leaves and twigs, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep on anything else.”

“Might not take as long to get used to it as you think.  It’s over a month back to Earth.  It will be a lot of down time for your men.  They want things to do, I can find it.  Otherwise, just regroup.”

“A month?”

 “The relays were damaged.  Travel is limited.” 

They stopped at the elevators.

“A long time passed since our ship was damaged escaping the Illusive Man’s base.  I assume he’s dead now or under arrest?”

              “Dead,” Shepard said hollowly.  Anderson’s face flashed in front of her for a moment.

              Taurin nodded gravely.  “We’ll need some updating.  A year and half out from the biggest war our civilization has ever seen.  A long time to be out of commission after defeating the reapers.”  He paused.  “We did defeat the reapers, right?”

              Shepard tried to smile, but it felt weak. 

“Yes.”  She turned away and pushed the elevator button.  “We won.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

"This is good news, Shepard," Councilor Tevos said.

Shepard stood in the quantum entanglement field. The four councilors spread out before her as flickering holographs. General Taurin bowed and stepped back out of the field.

"Thanks, General," Shepard said.

A brief nod and he left out through the war room. There was a lot of catching up for him to do and some of that no doubt included sleep.

"Spectre." Councilor Mason's lips were drawn tight. "This news about Anchor is very upsetting."

"That is System Alliance business, Mason," Sparatus said.

"I know." Mason turned on him. "Admiral Wilson will be very upset about this. To have Anchor handcuffed under watch. It seems extreme, Shepard."

Sparatus snorted and turned leaving the quantum field. Ish followed suit.

Councilor Tevos hesitated. "This is certainly a serious internal matters for the Alliance, Councilor Mason. We understand this is the only method to communicate with Commander Shepard for many weeks."

"Four weeks," Councilor Mason said.

"The Council will permit the Systems Alliance to use the transmitter for communicating with Commander Shepard until she reaches regular comm space."

Councilor Mason raised his eyebrows with a growing smile. "Thank you, Councilor. This is a generous suggestion. The Alliance will be selective in using it I will make sure. This is a serious matter to resolve, Shepard."

Tevos bowed her head at them and receded from the feed. Mason was the only one left.

"I will inform Alliance leadership. This matter can be dealt with quietly and privately. Admiral Wilson will no doubt want to speak with you."

"I understand," Shepard said resignedly. "Thank you, Councilor."

"Thank you, Shepard. Saving Taurin and his men will be welcome news to the turiens. The retrieval of the Mass Effect shard alone is a hug victory. Well done, Spectre."

Shepard tripped as she backed off the QEC platform. She never thought she'd hear that from a Councilor. Maybe there was hope, but then she thought darkly of Admiral Wilson. That was going to be a lot less warming.

 

* * *

 

"Much better, Shepard."

Dr. Chakwas thumbed through the brain scan reports on her Omni-Tool. The headaches and dizziness had subsided. Whatever she'd started by using her biotics, it was finally settling down. Her legs were finally healed and steady again too.

Shepard crossed her ankles as they hung off the metal table. "I think you were on to something about the more sleep, minimizing light, and activity."

Dr. Chakwas set the datapad down on the counter and walked back to her desk. "Guess that's why they graduated me from medical school."

Shepard sat silently watching the back of Dr. Chakwas's head as she brought up her terminal's holoscreen and flipped through image reports. They hadn't talked much since the day Shepard stormed into the med bay for medicine. She could charge head first into battle head held high, but returning to the med bay after their last encounter, had made her put drag her feet. Finally, she hopped off the bed and walked over to the desk.

"I'm sorry," she said simply coming around the front of the desk. "You've been doing a lot for me. I was off base steamrolling you like that."

Dr. Chakwas met Shepard's eye. She stood up from her chair and pulled Shepard into a hug. Shepard's spine straightened rigidly. Hesitantly, she gave Dr. Chakwas's back a pat. It was strange. Since her parents died on Mindoir, she'd lived a mostly untethered life in the military. She rarely hugged anyone her whole life until these last few years. Certainly, for most people, it was just a part of life, the meaning very small.

Dr. Chakwas pulled away and patted Shepard's shoulder. "I didn't learn that at medical school, but I think it's important nonetheless. I know you're going through a hard time."

Shepard frowned. "No, I'm fine. Really."

Dr. Chakwas nodded slowly. "Okay, Shepard. You need someone to talk to someone though, I'm here."

Shepard backed up with a weak smile. "My biotics will be sorted out. Miranda'll know what to do."

Dr. Chakwas held her eye with a flat expression. Shepard turned and took a step.

"Kaidan's headaches get bad."

Shepard paused.

"Spent a lot of time with him. Here. Doing for him what I did for you. Same meds, same advice."

Shepard turned slowly.

"On our ten month return cruise, not much I could do for him then. Supplies were thin, but it wouldn't have mattered. What makes you sick can go deeper than flesh and blood."

Their eyes met. The air balled up in her throat. It felt like breathing water. She'd gotten up too fast or taken the pills too close together maybe.

"If it wasn't for all of this, everything's that's happened, what would you really want, Shepard?"

Shepard froze to her core. Her heart pound in ears as she stared at Dr. Chakwas.

Dr. Chakwas's brow creased. "All right, Shepard?"

Shepard forced a nod and stumbled backward to the door. She spun around, her breathing fast and sharp.

"Come talk to me if you need anything," Dr. Chakwas said.

Shepard bolted through the door. She brushed past some crewmen and saluted back with a snap as she rushed to the elevator. She wrapped her arms around her middle watching the numbers tick down before the doors slid open. She bolted inside and jammed the button for her cabin.

Her face burned as she tumbled through the cabin's sliding doors. She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, lips pulled back, teeth cutting into her knuckles. The door clicked shut behind her. She dropped to the floor, scooted back against the wall, and huddled her legs to her chest with tight arms. Her breath billowed shallower, faster, her ribs constricting tighter.  Face buried in her knees, she felt it on her face.  Damnit, no -  the damp fabric at her knees stuck to her cheeks.  Damnit, this wasn't happening. She lifted her head, ground an arm across her face, and smothered the serration of each breath into an elbow.  She heard Kaidan's voice.

 _"_ _What would you want, Shepard, if not for all of this?"_

Her lips drew back, face falling back onto the wet patch on her knees, and mouth-breathing wet drags of air. Her eyes squeezed tight against it, but she could already see it rising up around her - the fireplace dancing the room in its only light, skycars rumbling outside the blinds, the citadel lights faded into night cycle, and Kaidan. They'd dragged the couch up to the fireplace in Anderson's apartment. It was the last time she'd been there, the last time she'd ever be there.

_"What would you want, Shepard, if not for all of this?"_

_She lay on the couch, head resting on his lap, and looked up with a quirked eyebrow. "All of what?"_

_"The war, all this death, always on the verge of losing everything."_

_Shepard gave a slight shrug against his legs and looked back at the fire. "I suppose I always thought I'd have what everyone has." A smile lifted the corners of her mouth, and she glanced up at him again. "You know, 'The Life,' the white picket fence. Find someone to come home to who's wearing an apron and pulling meatloaf out of the oven as our 2.5 kids knock over lamps getting to the dinner table."_

_"An apron and meatloaf?" His face scrunched. "I'm not making meatloaf."_

_"You, huh?" Shepard lifted an eyebrow and smirked up at him._

_His eyes dropped, frown darkening, and he chewed the corner of his lip. A sharp pang hit her._

_He looked away at the window blinds. "_ _Maybe I shouldn't – I just thought …"_

_"No, it's you." Shepard shot her hand up and grabbed his wrist off her shoulder. "I'd want it to be you." She interlaced their fingers. He looked down at her with a soft expression but no smile._

_"What about you? What would you want if not for all this?"_

_"Me?" He shifted against the couch. The firelight rippled across his features. His eyes caught the light as they drifted to the moving flames. "Just normal things. Things like this."_

_"So, in other words, you don't know what you'd want."_

_"What?" He frowned down on her. "Why'd you think that?"_

_"You're so vague. I, at least, had a storyline going, even if you protested to wearing an apron and baking meatloaf."_

_A grin tugged at his lips. He sighed and slouched back more on the couch. "Fine. You know what I'd want? I want moments like this, but I'd want them all with you. I'd want a house on the Pacific. I'd want to finish dinner and drink wine on our veranda overlooking the ocean. Then we'd roll up our pant legs and walk in the sand by the surf. Everything would be red from the sunset, and I'd hold your hand. Our feet would be cold, our faces chapped from the wind, and I'd kiss you. I'd tell you I love you like I would every day. I'd feel lucky knowing I could say it the next day and the day after that, not just saying it because it's the last thing I want to have said to you."_

_She swallowed dryly and looked away. Her voice was a little raspy until she cleared it. "Pretty tame fantasy there, Kaidan. Just hand holding and kissing, huh?"_

_"Oh." A smile turned up softly on his lips, and he brushed down pieces of hair by her face with his free hand. "Didn't know you wanted the director's cut."_

_"I don't want the censored edition."_

_She forced a smile and tried to pull it wider as he looked down at her. His eyes studied her with a growing grin. Still holding her hand, he drew his other arm onto the back of the couch._

_"All right." The grin grew wider. "After the credits, if you're still watching and you're over seventeen or with an adult guardian – the sunset fade over the ocean. We tear off all our clothes –"_

_"I want to tear yours off."_

_"Okay," he allowed with a smirk and nodded. "You tear my clothes off. Buttons spray everywhere sending some seagulls off squawking. Then, we run into the surf. We swim out. I splash you with my biotics, and you dunk me with yours. And, it's you and this is supposed to be real, you dunk me a little too thoroughly. I stumble out of the water choking and gagging up water. You feel kinda bad and come rushing over kicking water around your legs. I'd have really swallowed water, don't get me wrong, but maybe I was exaggerating a little. You'd come over a feeling little guilty, and I'd catch you."_

_"Now's the racy part." Shepard grinned. "Please continue."_

_"But, we're cold. It's the Pacific, the sun's down. We race each back to the house along the footprints we left an hour earlier."_

_"Teasing your audience." Shepard clicked her tongue. "But we didn't put our clothes back on, right?"_

_"Of course not. We never liked those clothes anyway, and mine are shredded. We leave them to the seagulls."_

_"Please, tell me there's a seagull that shows up later, your underwear around its neck."_

_"It's your underwear, and the seagull's wearing it."_

_"Spoilers."_

_"You asked."_

_"Okay. Unpause. Naked, running back to the house …"_

_"Right. We're cold and sticky from the sea salt. We tumble into the shower and turn it up as hot as we can stand, until it burns our skin."_

_"That the only heat being turned up?"_

_Kaidan chuckled and dropped his hand to her hair again. "Then, we make love."_

_"Finally. Not nearly graphic enough for all the buildup, but I see you're going more for decorum than gratuitous spectacle."_

_He rested his arm across the back of the couch and shrugged._

_"Maybe I'll get into the specific later. Easier if you can visualize them."_

_"Oh. So, a live action performance?"_

_"Right, and I'll need a volunteer from the audience."_

_"I didn't realize there'd be an audience. This is kinkier than I thought."_

_"Just you, me, and the seagull wearing your underwear."_

_"Ooh. You are a deviant." Shepard gazed up at him. "Then what? Fade to black as we break out the shampoo and luffa? Too boring for broadcast."_

_The grin was soft. He lifted his fingers out from her hand and touched the side of her face. His eyes followed his thumb as it traced over her cheekbone, and his smile tightened deeper into his cheeks. He met her eyes._

_"After? We'd fall into bed then. Our bed. The one we've slept in too many nights to count. Our skin's warm and pink from the shower, and we'd leave the window open. I'd listen to your breathing as it slowed and deepened smelling the shampoo in your damp hair. The cool ocean air would stir the curtains in the moonlight, and I'd watch the breeze move stray hairs across your forehead. And I'd think, I'm the luckiest man alive."_

_Her throat tightened, blood beating in her ears. She turned her face to the fire, focused on her breathing, and interlocking her hands across her middle. The flames moved in the shadows._

_"I would have liked that," she said._

Her hand strayed to her pocket with a wet exhale. She paused and ripped her hand away. She flew to her feet, heart pounding, and pressed her lips so tight they hurt. Deep, clenching breaths tightened her jaw, and she finally jammed shaky fingers into her pocket and dug around in the lining. She drew out the button. She squeezed her palm around it and twisted her head looking over the room. Anywhere here, and she'd just find it again.

She punched opened the cabin door and burst onto the elevator landing. She twisted around before her eyes fell to the grate below her feet. Machinery and darkness churned below the metal grid. She fell to her knees and pressed the button to a slot in the grate. Mechanical systems hummed in her ears under the slow whoosh of the ship's FLT. Shepard closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and opened her fingers. The button twanged, metal hitting metal, and ricocheted into the depths.

Shepard shoved herself up on wobbly arms. She checked her breath, turning to the wall, and pressing her forehead against its cool surface. She glanced at the cabin door to the side. No, she didn't want to go back in there. Not for a while. She'd come back when she was so tired she had to crawl to the door. She punched the elevator button and tugged on her uniform straightening her spine. She had things to get done rather than just wallowing here over memories.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

 

Admiral Wilson's hologram jammed a finger at her. Shepard stood straight despite the heat radiating from her face.

"Commander Shepard! It's been a week. Over a week!" Wilson raged.

"I understand, but—"

"No!" Wilson cut the air with his palm. "I've talked to Alliance Parliament about this. We agree. It's been a week. By itself, an overreaction. Let him go."

Shepard clasped her hands behind her back. She watched her tone.

"Respectfully, Admiral. It's my ship."

"It's the Alliance's ship."

"I'm a Council Spectre and—"

"You're an Alliance soldier!" he snapped. "Lieutenant Commander Anchor is an Alliance soldier. This has nothing to do with the council."

"He acted questionably. A Spectre may detain someone under suspicion."

"Suspicion of what?"

Shepard swallowed and glanced away.

"Exactly." Wilson stabbed a finger at her again. "Let him go. Right now. Bring him here, and I'll talk to him."

"That won't be necessary."

"If he was insubordinate, which you would certainly know all about, he can receive a verbal warning."

"He was warned in the past," Shepard said.

"Any documentation of that conversation?"

"Sure." Shepard shrugged her shoulder. "I'll send you documentation."

Wilson narrowed his eyes. "After you walk over to a terminal and write it up, I suppose?"

Shepard just held his stare.

"Go get him, Commander, or when you dock on Earth again, you'll be the one in the brig for insubordination."

Shepard turned to the doorway. James stood out of sight of the comm, arms folded, and sour-faced.

"Go get him," Shepard said.

James rolled his eyes, uncrossed his arms, and stalked away.

"I want a written report on this matter ASAP, Commander. And I don't mean your post-dated warnings. If he did something justifying arrest for over a week, you better write one hell of a good story. Because what I'm hearing is that you locked up your XO for making a bad command decision that resulted in no injury or material harm and for sassing off to you. I hope you're ready to justify yourself when you step off that ship, Commander. You have three weeks to come up with a better tale than you're telling now."

"Understood, sir," Shepard said simply.

They stood, holographic images facing each other, and waited. Wilson crossed and re-crossed his arms, jaw clenched, and mouth taut. Shepard just held his eyes. She wouldn't look away. Wilson seemed like one of those that caught the whiff of blood and then hunted unceasingly for the kill. Finally, James and Briggs walked in with Anchor ahead of them. James gave him a little shove forward onto the hologram's platform. Shepard didn't move, and Anchor stumbled up against her before turning to salute Wilson.

Anchor's uniform hung disheveled, eyes red and raw looking. Shepard tsked her tongue. It wasn't like he'd been treated like an animal. He had a cot, his own space away from the turiens. Granted, he was detained, but he still had his belonging. He had food brought to him. He had his stupid little datapad he clutched bringing everywhere like a child's teddy bear. He hadn't been mistreated in the slightest.

"Lieutenant Commander Anchor." Wilson returned the salute.

"Admiral Wilson, Sir."

"Is this true? Your CO has complained of insubordination."

He glared at Shepard and turned back with a more pleasant expression. "It was an emotional moment. I apologize and recognize my mistake."

"Well?" Wilson looked at Shepard. "He recognizes the error. I assume, Lieutenant Commander, you'll be vigilant in the future in the ways you interact with your CO?"

"Yes, sir."

"There," Wilson said. "Dismissed, Lieutenant Commander."

Anchor glanced at Shepard with slit eyes and walked slowly off the platform. He stood next to James, who slouched against the doorframe.

"I want the matter put behind us now," Wilson said. "I expect that report, and there will be more about this when you're back."

"I understand, sir."

"And, reinstate him to his duty. You released him from guard, but you need to let him back on duty too."

Shepard grimaced. Damnit.

"Continue to foster your relationship with the turiens and the general. You'll be back in no time."

Shepard saluted. Wilson returned it, but his face was hard. He turned away before the connection even broke.

Anchor grinned lopsidedly. Shepard met his eyes, and it melted away.

"What now?" Briggs asked from behind Anchor.

"Release him," Shepard said, then to Anchor, "You can sleep at your bunk or stay where you've been."

"And?" Anchor prodded.

Shepard squared up with him and stared him in the eye. "You try one more thing, I don't care what, you're out of line by a centimeter, you're back in biotic cuffs sitting in engineering with Briggs for company again. The admiral won't need to know about it until we're pulling up to the dock."

Anchor looked at her levelly with a slight grin. "Aye, aye, Commander. Am I on duty now then?"

"Fine. Yes." She motioned him away. "Go."

"Shouldn't you let the crew know?"

Shepard glared. "Go."

Anchor marched away.

"Well, Lola, looks like troubles on the loose again."

She turned to Briggs. "Watch him. Go where he goes. I don't care if he knows you're following him."

Briggs grinned. "Aye, aye."

He left.

"You doing all right? That admiral …" James made a whistling sound. "Think he owes Anchor's dad money or something?"

Shepard folded her arms. "Maybe he and Anchor are friends in the same club."

"Hope we're talking about the Systems Alliance," James said.

"Me too."

They stood in silence. James clasped Shepard's arm.

"Seriously, Lola, you're all tight. You should do something fun."

"Like?"

"I dunno. You have some nice model ships I'd play you for. Something tells me you'd be a good bluffer."

"If I play you, James, you'd probably wind up captain of the ship or something."

"I think you should start with the model ships, but we can work up to the Normandy."

Shepard shook her head with a smirk and passed by him into the war room. "I think I better find my fun in a less dangerous way."

"Lola, Lola." James steps came up behind her. "Danger is fun. The only fun."

"James, with my ratio of danger to meetings, if there aren't exceptions to that statement, I'm in for trouble."

"Hey. You'll get to be dangerous again. Exploded an oily monster-thing with a grenade? Gotta tide you over for a while."

Shepard stepped into the CIC. Anchor stood expectantly waiting. Briggs milled around the galaxy map terminals watching him.

"An announcement?" Anchor prompted.

James raised an eyebrow and moved to the elevator. "See ya, Lola."

Shepard eyed Anchor. He grinned. The trip back suddenly seemed a lot longer.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

 

"So, Earth's relay is nearly complete?" General Taurin leaned back on the couch in Shepard's room.

"The Arcturus relays are ongoing too. It'll be several months before the relays between Earth and Palavan are restored for the return trip."

"So much has happened. All that time, like primitives, we were just guessing at the outcome. The energy wave came through. Saw the geth ships go offline, drift, no answer. We knew something had happened. Trying to repair our ship from that Cerberus base attack was chaotic. Miracle we made it to a planet and lived."

Shepard put her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her temple against her fist. She stared at the wall. Guilt swelled up realizing she hadn't thought about the geth in days. In time, she might think of them for even more than days. Whether that would relieved or disgusted her, she wasn't sure.

"The geth," Shepard said suddenly. "They were all destroyed by the burst."

"All of them?" Taurin said. "You mean it? All the geth with the Migrant Fleet?"

"Every last geth."

"If the long-range communication is down in most systems, how can we know?"

Shepard pressed her temple harder against her fist. She could say ships that came to Earth brought word, which was true, but they could have only come from nearby star systems. They couldn't say they knew about the other side of the galaxy. No one could, except for her.

"I activated the crucible. It killed all virtual life," Shepard said finally.

Taurin sat quietly holding her eyes. "You were on the crucible? Truly?"

"Yes."

Taurin seemed to be processing it.

"It must be a lot to have seen," he said. "I still … I can't believe it. Were there others on the crucible?"

"Some others, yes. But they died. The Illusive Man …"

"He was there? So, he turned in the end. Joined us against the reapers?"

Shepard paused thinking and then said slowly, "In the end, ultimately."

Shepard could see Anderson's eyes as the Illusive Man shot himself. Yes, in the end, he made the right choice or had wanted to. He'd been indoctrinated, but he'd also been right. What he wanted, what Saren wanted, those things had been possible. But, there were no take backs, only going forward on the decisions you'd already made.

"It must be difficult," Taurin said quietly.

"No, no." Shepard straightened up on the couch and made her voice sound more sure. "It happened. I don't deny what ..."

She stopped. She was denying it though. Denying it to herself, let alone everyone else.

"I …"

Taurin waved it off. "I understand. I can't imagine it. The things you see at war, you either bury it or come to terms with it. It can take a while deciding which way lets you forward. For me, I couldn't move forward until the past wasn't holding me back." He cleared his throat. "But, that's me. We, soldiers, go through a lot, Commander."

"Yes," Shepard tried to smile, but for a moment in front of her, she could only see the crucible's ramps splitting three ways. Three choices but only one chance to make one choice.

 

* * *

 

Shepard walked softly up behind Joker. He flinched and glanced back at her.

"Geezz, Commander! Sneaking up on your pilot with brittle bones. Seeing how many bones you can break with a good scare?"

The quiet hum of engines filled the cockpit. Night shift. Michael was gone. Only a few staffers milled around quietly in the CIC behind her.

"Joker." Shepard hunched down.

Joker saw her out of the corner of his eye, then lazily swiveled his seat to face her.

"What's up, Commander?"

"I want to talk to you."

Joker rested his head against the headrest and looked off.

"Sneaking up on me wasn't satisfying enough?"

"Hey."

Shepard waited until Joker's hooded eyes dropped to her face. He had a pressed smile.

"Fine," he sighed.

"I want to tell you what happened on the crucible."

Joker blinked at her, and he pushed up on the armrests to sit higher in his chair. His eyes scanned around them.

"What do you mean?"

"On the crucible, the Illusive Man shot himself. Anderson was shot. He died as we watched the citadel open for the crucible."

Joker fidgeted in his chair. "Why are you telling me this?"

"After the crucible connected to the citadel, nothing happened. I was dying. Thought I was dying." Shepard looked down. She saw her hand pulling away from her side covered in blood. She looked back up at Joker. "I was given a choice. I could do nothing. Or I could act, but I had to decide. The catalyst talked to me."

"The catalyst talked?"

"It was an entity itself stretching back before the reapers. Before the cycles."

"Shepard." Joker leaned an elbow on the armrest and rubbed the back of a finger against his lips. "I don't … Why are you telling me this? I've never heard this before."

"Because I've never told it before."

Joker looked her fully in the face. His mouth tightened.

"Okay," he said.

Shepard released a long, slow breath then continued. "The catalyst let me decide. There were choices. Impossible choices. Things you wouldn't think possible. Some of the choices promised a better future, but maybe a worse one, I don't know. I'll never know. Because I didn't choose those options."

Shepard licked her lips and met Joker's eye. "I chose a different option. To destroy synthetic life – the reapers, the geth … EDI. I saved all organic life at the cost of every synthetic life."

Joker watched her with fixed and unblinking eyes.

Shepard swallowed. "I knew what would happen. It wasn't a surprise, and I knew it would sweep the galaxy, touch everything. I made the choice for everyone. A choice to obliterate one form of life to save my own."

Joker's face looked back at her blankly, unreadable. They held each other's eyes in silence for a time, then Shepard stood up. She gave a sharp nod, turned, and strode down the gangway.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

 

              

Shepard stared down at the starry expanse of the CIC's galaxy map.

"Commander Shepard. XO Anchor is looking for you," Jane said.

"Tell him where I am then."

Jane just nodded. A little over half way back to Earth, and the mere mention of Anchor's name made her teeth grind. He'd spent the last week resuming his duties with gusto. The cheerful dutifulness was more irritating than if he'd been passive aggressive.

"Commander." Anchor's voice came behind her.

She didn't turn. "What is it?"

"Communication from Langley Station."

Shepard snapped around, "What?"

"Langley Station. You know it? The one we took from the Batarian's. Important waypoint enforcing slave laws, but you'd know all about that."

Shepard didn't say anything. She'd moved past that long ago if it was meant to upset her. Her past with Mindoir was hardened under calluses layers deep.

"I know of it." Shepard faced him. "What communication?"

"It must still have survivors, Commander. We've gotten pings."

"This true?" Shepard eyed Jane.

It must have been a sharp look, because Jane took a step back and rushed to say, "I hadn't heard any calls."

"Ask Moreau," Anchor said. "Started a few hours ago."

"You didn't think to tell me?"

"You were off duty. Didn't want to bother you. Langley's days off our course. A few hours more wouldn't make a difference."

Shepard lowered her voice. "Next time, come get me for anything like that."

A few privates paused across the CIC map and watched them. Apparently, CO versus XO made for a good show. Her hard glance, and they busied themselves again.

"We abandoned Langley when the war started," Shepard said turning back to Anchor.

Anchor shrugged. "I'm all for staying on course, Commander."

Shepard folded her arms and studied the floor. If there was a chance anyone was alive though.

"I'll check a few things," she said finally and walked to the war room.

She strode through the war room and rounded the table. She stopped in front of the quantum communicator. Its console was flashing again. She pounded a fist on it, and the light went off went off. She entered her Spectre codes and requested Alliance intel on Langley. The Council comm operatives should pass her request on to the Alliance. She shouldn't have to wait too long. At least, she hoped.

* * *

 

Shepard hung over the railing in engineering. She could barely glimpse the reserve core Adams pointed out.

"No problems then?" Shepard asked.

Adams shook his head. "No. What Tali—the quarians—came up with, it's certainly not as practical as fuel stations or as safe, but it's amazing work. Just a few adjustments, I think we can squeeze some more juice out of her."

"We're set then," Shepard said.

"Lola." James pushed through some engineers fussing over a panel by the door.

Cortez, steps in front of James, barreled toward her with a stormy expression.

"Something the matter?" she asked.

Cortez stopped in front of her.

Adams glanced between them. "I'll be around if you need anything more, Commander."

"Thanks, Adams."

Adams left and joined the other engineers. Cortez's face sweated redly. James came up beside him.

"What's going on?" She looked between them.

Cortez glanced around before shifting his body to block her from sight of the engineers. He pulled something out of his pocket and shoved it into her hand. Shepard stared down at coiled cord with intertwined red and blue cables. Copper wires stuck out from the frayed ends.

"This doesn't mean anything to me." She curled her fingers around the coil and looked up at them.

Cortez lowered his voice. "Anchor was messing around with that panel, remember? Found this the second time we went down, same site I'd put down with Anchor heading things. Didn't know what that was. Tried to show it to you when I first got back, but you were busy."

"It's a cord."

"That's all it was to me, too, until one of the turiens saw it in my tool kit. He'd worked infiltration during the contact war. It's an amplifier cord. That panel Anchor was digging around in, when I found him outside the shuttle, was the lift pulse drive. This puts the feedback loop into overdrive by connect the drive with the accelerator—"

"Just …" Shepard held up her hand with a sigh. "I just need the punchline."

"It'd blow the shuttle apart," James said.

"Blow it apart?" Shepard's eyebrows shot up.

"Quiet!" Cortez ducked his head and glanced around them.

The engineers were still engrossed over the same terminal against the wall. A couple of turiens had joined them pointing at something in the panel.

"Blow up the shuttle?" Shepard said in a heated whisper. "Where'd it come from?"

"If it was installed, circuited in, it could cause an explosion when lifting through the atmosphere returning to the ship."

"Not before then?"

"It's the lift drive," Cortez said. "You don't use it much leaving the ship and descending. Ascending though, it'd be full throttle."

"And the shuttle would explode?" Shepard asked.

"That shuttle? Definitely. The shuttle we've got is a flamethrower, a combustor. Even a good shuttle though, like the V590 Viper, even it would lose control. A crash from atmosphere level isn't a crash you're walking away from."

"This feedback loop," Shepard said, "it works in any shuttle type?"

"Yeah. Turiens used them a lot on us during the war. Got to where you checked before jumping in the shuttle and quacking the throttle. I've never actually seen one. Illegal, but they're around."

"You told one of the turiens about this?"

"No," Cortez said. "He just saw it with my tools. Didn't know why I had it."

Shepard rubbed a temple and frowned.

"A shuttle explosion," Shepard repeated. "Anchor thought I was leading that operation."

James's eyed her grimly. "Probably why he disappeared down on the planet. Probably sweated bricks on the way down. Had to rip it out before going back. Didn't want to die in a fiery blaze. Wouldn't of minded seeing us streaking the sky like a comet though. Probably you too."

"He'd be CO right now if it worked. Have the shard."

"That prothean thing?" James asked. "He wants that?"

"Terra Firma may. They counted on me getting from the relay on Elliom. Now, I'm just a barrier."

"He's working alone though, right?" James asked.

"I damn well hope so."

She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. If this was true, he wasn't just a theoretical danger. Shepard dropped her hand from her nose and looked at them.

"You didn't see him with this cord?" She lifted it in her fist.

Cortez shook his head. Shepard looked at James. He frowned and shook his head as if surprised she'd even ask him.

"This cable couldn't have been there from something else?"

Cortez nodded. "It wasn't exposed to the elements, so I'm pretty sure."

"Pretty sure?" Shepard sighed. "You didn't see him tampering with the shuttle before going down to the planet? You don't remember a time he could've installed it?"

"No. Lot of time he could have done it though."

Shepard swallowed. "The quantum communicator's been acting up. I've seen him in there."

James's eyebrows rose. "What's that mean?"

"I don't know. He could've gone in my room. I need to get my Spectre codes reassigned. James," she turned to him, "change the lock code to the armory. Inventory everything. Change the armory's safe combination. That shard needs secured no matter what. We need something on him more than just suspicion though."

"He's got that datapad he carries around all the time. Probably has messages on it and stuff," James said.

"Good. Let's see if we can get our hands on it. Briggs is following him."

James grunted as if he disagreed.

"Most of the time," Shepard added. "If we can pinch that datapad, let's do it. We have a few more weeks before we're back to Earth. We aren't dropping this, but we can't act on it without something more than speculation."

James and Cortez nodded. Shepard moved past them to the elevator. This was making her mind race.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

 

              Shepard sat at her desk and tapped her datapad on the arm of her chair.  She gazed at the fish tank.  She’d gotten the files she’d requested from the Alliance.  They weren’t as thorough as she’d expected.  The personnel information was scant, but it had pictures and bio information.  She was getting paranoid.  She’d had them resend the information an hour later.  It had matched up with the first information transfer.

Regardless of the information holes, it confirmed that soldiers had been left on Langley before the final reaper battle.  A year and half cut off and still alive, they’d be on ANN.  She stood tossing her datapad on the desk.  Her mind was made up.  They couldn’t leave Alliance soldiers to die on some forgotten space station.  She crossed through the cabin to the elevator.          

              Shepard burst out of the elevator into the CIC.  A few ensigns looked up in surprise.  She’d just left to her cabin an hour ago.  They probably didn’t expect to see her back so soon.  She had to contact the Council about this though.  She rushed through the war room and stumbled to a stop.  Anchor leaned over the quantum communicator.  His head snap to her, and he stepped away.

              “The QEC … it, uh, seems to be malfunctioning, Commander.”

              Shepard tore around the war room table.  Anchor turned his back to her as if blocking her view and fumbled with something at the consol.  She shoved him aside.  The QEC console buttons were black.  She punched at them.  Nothing happened.

              “What the hell are you doing in here, Anchor?”

              He looked down at something in his hand.  His head snapped up, and his hand slipped behind his back.

              “I heard some beeping sounds.  Sounded like it was having issues.  Came to investigate.  I think it’s broken, Commander.”

              “You didn’t break it?” Shepard said.

              “No, Commander.  I just heard it acting up.  Came to see.”

              Shepard put out her palm.  “Give me whatever you have in your hand.”

              Anchor frowned. “Commander …”

              “You want stuffed back in engineering under guard?  I’ll take it from you myself.  Give it to me.”

              Anchor’s eyes flamed.  He held up a black chip.

              “A data chip?”  Shepard said and snatched at it.

              He held tightly.  She had to tear it out of his fingers.

              “What’re you doing with this?” She asked turning it over in her finger tips.

              “Had it in my Omni-Tool.  Saw the comm acting up.  Thought plugging in a piece of hardware might jump start it.”

              “Right.” Shepard curled her fingers around it and shoved it into her pocket.  “That doesn’t make any sense.”

              “Commander, that’s my personal data chip.  May I have it back?”  He put his hand out expectantly.

              “No, you may not,” she said.

              He ground his teeth and straightened his uniform.  “This is outrageous.”

              Shepard waved at the comm.  “Too bad the quantum communicator just went down.  You don’t have anyone to complain to.  No one can order me to uncuff you.”

              Anchor’s eyes gaped wide, and he swallowed.  “Commander, I am sorry if I—”

              “When Briggs gets here, you’re going with him,” Shepard said.

              Damn Briggs.  She should have assigned two people to follow Anchor around.

              “Commander,” Anchor pleaded.  “When we get back to Earth, the Alliance will know everything you’re doing.”

              “Worth it.” Shepard spun on her heels.  “Resist Briggs, and you’ll only be making my day.”

              Anchor’s face reddened as she tore through the war room back into the CIC.

              “Get Briggs up here right now,” Shepard said to Jane.

              Shepard pulled the datachip out of her pocket.  What the hell had he been doing?

 

* * *

 

              James strolled up to the QEC’s platform.  Shepard and Adams hunched in front of the comm controller. 

              “You really throw Anchor in the stocks again, Lola?”

              “I’d like to do more than that.” Shepard muttered standing.  She held up Anchor’s datachip.  “Found this on him.  Some code on it I can’t read.  A safe guard too, fried my terminal when I tried to copy it.  He was in here with it.  I’m pretty damn sure he did something to the QEC.”

              “Well,” James sighed.  “Broke his datapad to pieces.”

              “Yeah, I heard,” Shepard said.  “Accidentally tripped and stepped on it when Briggs had him collecting his stuff.”

              “Adams,” James stood over him.  “You seen that busted datapad?  Think you could piece it back together or anything?”

              “Maybe.  Got to fix this first.”

Adams twisted onto his back and scooted under the comm.  He put an empty hand out.  Shepard sank down and dug around his tool box.  She set an astro-wrench in his palm.

“That’s …” Adams stared at it then shrugged with a sigh. “I guess that will work.”

“Don’t just put out an empty hand then, Adams,” Shepard said.  “Say what you want.”

“I’m working on the quantum portal.  Just assumed you’d know.”

Shepard rolled her eyes with a sigh.

“It’s fine,” Adams said.  “This works too.”

“You want another engineer up here?” James asked.

“They’re working overtime as is,” Adams said.  “Need to get that fuel recycler cranked up.  If we’re going to make those extra light years and want a comfortable cushion, need to have it at its peak yesterday.”

“Yeah … Langley,” James said.  “Heard about that.  Alliance soldiers stranded on the station, huh?”

“We’re just swinging by.  Ships out of Gagarin aren’t going this deep.  We’re not leaving them.”

James shrugged.  “Fresh blood at the card tables.  Next couple weeks are turning up.”

Shepard smirked.  “Worth the cold showers, I hope.”

“Lola, if you’re worried about cold showers, just call me up.”

Shepard gave him a flat look.  “You’re bringing your own towel this time.”

Adams hit his head.  He looked up from under the console with a tight mouth.  His eyes flitted quickly from Shepard to James. 

James laughed through a strained smile.   “She’s joking.”

“Am not.  Seriously, bring your own towel.” 

Adams watched Shepard with a blank look until she grinned.  He gave one last look between them and slowly lowered his head under the console again.

“Anchor’d be sad he’s missing this, Lola.  He’d of hung on every word then zipped off. Probably be huddled under the blanket on his bunk right now writing up a ‘Dear Wilson’ letter.”

“James, with the things Anchor’s gotten into, I think unearthing a scandal’s just a cherry on top at this point.”

“Maybe if he’d had his cherry on top to start with, he wouldn’t be busting things.”

“Right.  Well, with that …” Shepard walked to the war room table and turned back to Adams.  “I hope that fuel recycler can handle this.  We already changed course for Langley.  See what you can do with the comm, Adams.  I don’t like that Anchor didn’t want us communicating with the Council.  Something off.”

“Get the QEC back up, the admiral’s gonna want Anchor unclinked.” James folded his arms and leaned sideways against the wall across from Adams.

“I’m a little too far away to spank,” Shepard said.  “I’d rather have a safe trip back and get pointed to the corner after we get there than let Anchor ruin things.”

“Think messing with this comm’s good enough,” James said.  “You know for evidence of anything.”

“Doubt it.  It’s been acting up.  Could have been him messing with it all along or could just be acting up.  I didn’t see him do anything to it.”

“Well, something did a number to it,” Adams said.  “This … this is going to take some work, Commander.”

“I’m sure that was the point,” Shepard said.  “I’m going to check on things.  Bring some of the other engineers up, Adams.  We need the recycler working but this too.  I don’t like it being down.”

She turned on her heels and walked out to the CIC.  Damn Anchor.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

 

The station grew larger in the cockpit windows as the Normandy maneuvered to a docking port.  Michael looked back at Shepard with a grin.

“Looks like it has power, Commander.”

“Yes, it does,” Shepard said.

The leather squeaked as Joker shifted in his seat.  He didn’t say anything.  He’d hardly said anything to her for a week.  It was a kind of a cowardly comfort that Michael was here now.

“Locking in docks now, Commander,” Michael said punching buttons on a glowing holoscreen.

“Did they receive our message?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, ma’am.  They acknowledged us.  Seemed real pleased.”

“Pleased?” Shepard chuckled.  “Thought they’d be hysterical a good Samaritan finally chanced by.”

“Pleased isn’t good enough?” Joker muttered.

Shepard sighed, putting her hands on her hips, and walked a few steps to the boarding gate.  Dr. Chakwas sorted through her medical bag standing next to Stofsky, Briggs, and Jensen on the gangway.  They held their rifles to the chest of their armor.  Shepard touched the pistol on her waist belt.  She picked her helmet off the floor then set it back down.  Helmets always just got in the way when you needed to talk your people.  She checked the locks on her armor and straightened herself as the airlock hissed.  She led them through the boarding gate.

The station doors swished open cheers.  Nearly twenty soldiers crowded around them as they walked into the docking terminal.  They backed up to let Shepard through.  Their faces, a mix of men and women, grinned above mismatched armor as she passed.  She expected to see sunken eyes, bony necks, and sickly posture, but instead they all stood at attention, steady footed, and eager.

              “Captain Drew Sable,” a deep voice said as one a man from the back stepped forward.

              He threw her a meaty handed salute.  His neck, thick and knotted like coiled rope, flexed with a curling mouth.  He looked down at her a shadowy glint in his eye.

              Shepard’s brow dimpled.  She gave a slow returned salute.

“Commander Shepard of the Normandy.”

              “Commander Shepard.”  His voice lifted as he lifted his eyebrows.  That look in his eye though suggested he’d recognized her before she’d said it.

              “My soldiers and a few station staffers,” Sable said indicating the mass pushing in around him.

              Dr. Chakwas edged forward, and Shepard glanced back with a nod.  Dr. Chakwas walked over to the nearest soldier, put her bag down, and flipped on her Omni-Tool. 

              “Finally getting a message was a shock,” Sable said.

              “Your men don’t look too bad for being stranded on a station for coming up on two years,” Shepard observed.

              Sable laughed sharply and rubbed a hand back over his buzzed head.

              “Station this size is meant to house hundreds, not twenty.  Lots of supplies after the evacuation.  Starting to think no one was coming back for us.  The war, it’s over, right?”

              “Yes,” Shepard said looking around at their steady, bright eyes.  “We won.  The reapers are gone.  We’ve been rebuilding.”

              She was already tired of giving the updates.

              “Are there others?” Shepard asked.

              The station’s docking hall expanded out behind them.  Beyond the bright lights of this docking terminal only a few emergency lights flickering down the dark hallways beyond. 

              “No.  This is it.  We got your message hours ago.  Got together, got our stuff, been waiting.”

              “Right …” Shepard peered down the dim silent hallways.

              Sable glanced over his shoulder at the hallway.  He turned back and squaring up to her.

              “We’re ready when you are, Commander.”

              The station soldiers dug through their bags, closing them up, and hoisted over their shoulders.  An entire life on a station gathered in hours.  No one seemed to have anything sentimental or personal in nature -- no pictures, datapads, bottle of wine saved for a rescue or the final days.  Nothing but bare military necessities that Shepard could see as their bags scrunched close.

              One face caught her attention.  Freckles cover the man’s skin so thickly, the white part seemed like the dots.  His tiny, glistening eyes watched.  Except for the blue color, they could have been transplanted from a ferret.  He seemed so familiar, but she couldn’t place him.  A fellow soldier maybe.  That felt right.  Maybe she’d worked with him on assignment once.  Even then though, she couldn’t quite place him.

              “Commander,” Sable said.

              Shepard broke her stare.  “You don’t have anything else you need here?”

              “No.  We’re ready.  More than ready to get off this station.”

              “And there’s no one else?”

              “None.”

              Shepard put a hand on her ship and shifted to her back foot. “All right.  Head aboard.  Dr. Chakwas will look each person over first.  How long since the others evacuated?”

              “Long time,” Sable said and motioned his men to line up in front of Dr. Chakwas.

              Vague.  Shepard pursed her lips and waved Jensen and Stofsky over to her.

              “Where are you going?” Sable asked.

              “Scout around.  There could be salvageable supplies.”

              “Anything worth saving we have with us.”

              The dark corridor flickered in the distance.  She wasn’t really sure what she hoped to fine.  They had enough food.  They didn’t need guns or heat clips.  There probably wasn’t any information on the system computers that she would need.  Still, just the fact he didn’t want her searching made her want to tear the place apart.  Sable strolled away and chatted with two of his officers. He gave a barking laugh.  Maybe she was just trying to see something in every off handed interaction. Shepard glanced around one last time and sighed heavily.

              “Look around a little.  Briefly,” Shepard told Jensen and Stofsky.  “We can document the station’s status.  Eventually, the Alliance will want to reclaim it.  Go.”

              She walked back into the throng of station soldiers.  The last few soldiers stopped in front of Dr. Chakwas.  She scanned the next one, read the reading, and waved him on.  Sable took up the end and patted one of his men on the back with a grin.  Probably better to just get underway.

 

* * *

 

              Shepard leaned back against the counter in the med bay and touched her earpiece.  It was on.

              “Get us back underway, Joker,” Shepard said.  “Stofsky and Jensen came back, right?”

              “Yes, Commander.”

              “Anything I should know?”

              There was a pause and muffled voices.  Joker’s voice came back on the comm.

              “Said there’s some plushier chairs than the ones we’ve got in the lounge.”

              Shepard just shook her head.  “Okay, well, tell them to get them document what they saw for the Alliance.  The station crew will be able to supplement it.  Soon as we get that quantum communicator back up, we can send it through the Council to them.”

              “Yeah …” Joker said.  “Better talk to Adams again about that.  Doesn’t look good, Commander.”

              Shepard grimaced.  “Okay.  Let’s shove off.”

              “Aye, aye.”

              Shepard lifted away from the counter and strolled over to Dr. Chakwas.  She looked up from scan results glowing on her desk terminal.

              “Everyone’s healthy,” she said.

              Shepard flopped into the chair opposite her.  It was going to be a busy next few hours -- taking names, rank, setting up cots.  Between the turiens, rescued station soldier, and her own crew, there were going to be bunk rotations again.  Joker’d be thrilled.  At least if the sleeping space was limited, the food rations were still supple.  But, it wouldn’t be looked at that way.  Not many learned to focus on what they had instead of what they’d lost. 

              “They’re amazingly health,” Dr. Chakwas mused.

              “Too healthy?  You sound surprised.”

              “They’re well fed, strong, must have exercised, taken care of themselves.  More than I expected when I heard they’d been abandoned there.”

              Shepard leaned sideways on the armrest and touched her fingers to her mouth.  Perhaps she _should_ have searched the station herself.

              “Their uniforms are more worn out than their bodies.  Just amazing resilience,” Dr. Chakwas said.

              “I thought I recognized one of the men.”

              “Really?  You’ve been to Langley Station before?”

              Shepard shook her head.  “I know him from somewhere else.  I looked him up in the dossier I got from the Alliance.  His name isn’t ringing any bells or the places he’s served.  I know him from some Alliance mission, though.”

              “Well, would have been a while ago.  Been well over three years on Langley for most of them.”

              Shepard tilted her head. “Maybe a further while back then.”

              Dr. Chakwas pushed her chair back and crossed over to the cabinet over the sink.  She stood on her toes and rifled through it.

              “Checked on Anchor.  Seems pretty out of sorts,” Dr. Chakwas said glancing over her shoulder.

              “Yeah, well,” Shepard crossed her arms and tipped her chair back, “he should be glad I let his ass out of lock up as long as I did.  Wish I hadn’t.  Took out the quantum communicator.  If Adams can’t fix it …”  Shepard sighed.  “Maybe some of the station workers are engineers.”

              “I don’t think so.  Looked to me like they’re all soldiers.  You really think Anchor did something to that comm?”

              “You remember what James and Cortez showed me?”

              “Yes.”  Dr. Chakwas shook her head.  “Seems too fantastic.”

              “I don’t know.  Maybe,” Shepard allowed.

              The cabinet echoed with scraping canisters and clinking glass as Dr. Chakwas rummaged deeper.  She pulled down a brown glass bottle.

              “Ah ha!” she grinned.

              She strolled over to the desk touting it and pulled out a lower drawer.  To glasses clinked together in her hand as she set them on the desk.

              “Tradition,” she said.

              “I hope that’s not cough syrup.  I’m really not that hard up for alcohol.”

              Dr. Chakwas gave an overacted pout.  “Shepard, I only keep the best stuff for you.”

              “So, it’s the grape flavor then.  Why didn’t you say so?” Shepard grinned sitting up straighter. 

              “Ah.  Whatever.”  Dr. Chakwas waved at her dismissively.

              She poured a shallow amber pool into each glass and handed one to Shepard.

              “Cheers.”  She dropped into her seat and took a sip.

              Shepard eyed her glass then took a sip.  A smile filled her lips. 

“Okay, not bad.”

              “Well, of course.”

              “Where’d you get it?”

              “The cupboard.  Weren’t you paying attention?”

              Shepard took another sip to cover her grin. “Forgot.  Damn head injury acting up.”

              Dr. Chakwas melted back in her chair holding her glass in both hands.  Her eyes traveled around the room. 

“A lot of good times here, Shepard.”

              “I suppose.”

              “No, it’s true,” Dr. Chakwas said.  “The whole Normandy must feel that way to you.”

              “In a way, I guess.”

              “You guess?” Dr. Chakwas sputtered with raised eyebrows.  She took a long drink.  “It has to.  Everything that’s happened here.  The memories, the adventure, the excitement of it all.”

              Shepard glanced around at the sterile walls.  “It was that.  But, now?”

              Dr. Chakwas smiled. “What do you mean?”

              “Do you remember the question you asked me?

              “Which one?”

              “You asked what I wanted.  The answer is, I want this – the Normandy.  It’s what I’ve always wanted -- that rush, that excitement, that purpose, that sense of belonging for once in my life, really belonging.  And I was safe, physically, but in other ways too.  The Normandy was home.  But I don’t feel that now.”  Shepard slouched back.  “Now everyone has their own way to go.  There isn’t that purpose leading us on together.  Maybe … maybe leading me on.”

              “You don’t think you have purpose?”

              “No, I do,” Shepard said looking down at her glass. “Only, things are different now.  I miss what it was.”

              Shepard looked up at Dr. Chakwas sharply and laughed.

              “Oh, damn!  You really did get me in here talking to you.”

              “I don’t know what you mean.”

              Shepard pointed a finger at her. 

“Yes, you do.  I’m not falling for that.”  She looked at the drink in her hand.  “You’re even trying to loosen me up with booze.”

Dr. Chakwas laughed.  “I don't have any nefarious intentions, Shepard.  I thought you might want to relax.”

Shepard pinched her face.  “No, you’re trying to liquor me up.”

“Only for your own good though.  Drink up.  I won’t ask anymore deep questions.”

Shepard narrowed her eyes and took another sip.

Dr. Chakwas tapped her fingers on her glass and turned to Shepard.  “So, what are your hopes and fears in life, Shepard?”

Shepard rolled forward in her seat with a laugh. “Damn.  Stop.  I already tapped out.”

Dr. Chakwas chuckled.  “I have stronger stuff here, you know.”

“I believe you.”

“Most people prefer the ‘by mouth’ route though.”  Dr. Chakwas lifted her glass and bottomed it up.

“The alternate route better be a needle,” Shepard said.

She followed suit with her own glass and slammed it down on the desk between them.  Dr. Chakwas nodded with a stiff lip and slammed hers down next to Shepard’s.

“Good talk, Shepard.”

“Yeah.” Shepard stood. “After you liquored me up for sensitive reflections.”

“Oh.” Dr. Chakwas waved it off.  “We all have our moments of weakness.  Good to know you’re human after all.”

“Only partly.”  Shepard gave a half grin.  “ Well, better catch up with a few people then get some sleep.”

“Or,” Dr. Chakwas countered.  “Get some sleep and then catch up with a few people.”

Shepard laughed.  “Hey, you can’t talk me into too much without the hard stuff.  See you around.”

Shepard walked out of the med bay.  The mess hall swarmed.  Turiens and human crew members mingled not quite tripping over each other but damn close.  The station crew though, they seemed to be keeping to themselves.  The few that were here clustered in the corner.  Sable and the rest must be sleeping.  She didn’t see them around.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

 

Shepard stepped out of the elevator into the cargo bay.  She collided into James.

“Whoa.  Happy to see you too, Lola,” James said grinning crookedly and waggled his eyebrows.

“Where are you going?” Shepard stepped out of his way.

James watched the elevator doors close and turned to her.  “Engineering.  Esteban’s going over some stuff with Adams.  Thought I’d join the fun.  Stop getting all solitario, right?”

“Didn’t know engineering talk qualified as fun in your book.”

“There are worse things to talk about.  For instance …” He leaned an arm against the wall and glanced over his shoulder. A group of station soldiers huddled in the cargo bay’s corner talking.  “Those guys … eh.”

“Eh, huh?” Shepard smirked.  “Won’t play card with you?”

“Nope.  Get the feeling they’d have excellent poker faces too.”

“That right?”

“Oh, yeah.  Had some weird chit-chat with ‘em.”

There were six of them.  They face in toward each other in a circle and gestured as they spoke.  The one woman in the group kept glancing over her shoulder at them.

“Seems like a tight bunch,” Shepard said.

“No joke, Lola.  Try to ask anything friendly, you aint getting far.  Not forthcoming.  And that one?  Asked about her role on the station.  Still shivering from the freeze out.”

“Did you open with the line about the showers?”

“Nah, Lola, feel special.  That’s only you.”  He grinned pushing off from the wall.  “Either way, they’re a weird group.”

“Maybe that’s what years stranded in space does.”

“Don’t know about that.  Ten months stranded in space, and we couldn’t wait to bust off this ride.  But them?  It’s like it melded them together.”

“Commander,” Brigg’s voice said into Shepard’s earpiece.

“Yeah, Briggs.  What is it?”

“Want to come up here?”

“Why?”

“I just stepped out for a moment, I swear, Commander.”

Shepard’s face crunched.  She glanced at James and hit the elevator button.  Damnit.  What now?

 

* * *

 

Briggs lurked the engineer’s floor portside doorway.  Shepard remembered Diana Aller standing in the corner speaking to her floating camera.  Now, Anchor slumped against the wall with his hands secured to a piping vent by biotic cuffs.  At he was still here then.  Shepard shot a frown at Briggs and caught her eye on the figure slouched against the wall by the door.

“What’re you doing here?”

Sable’s lazy eyes met Shepard’s.

“Commander Shepard.”  He gave her a nod.  “Just exploring the ship.  Didn’t realize you had a prisoner in here.”

“Got back from taking a piss.  Found him here with Anchor,” Briggs said.

Anchor met her eyes with a blank stare and repositioned her wrists on the vent.

“You didn’t lock the door?” Shepard asked Briggs.

“It was a piss not a … uh, dumb, you know?”

Shepard’s mouth tightened, and she gave him a long stare.  Briggs was definitely getting fired on this.  He may be their biggest marine, but he was an idiot.  She’d bring Stofsky up here instead. 

Shepard moved over to Sable.  “Did you talk to him?  He’s obviously in detention.”

“Commander Shepard, I apparently caused a problem.  I’m sorry about it.  I was walking around, came across him.  Just curious why someone’s chained to the wall.  Wouldn’t you be?”

“If I was curious, I’d ask the CO, not talk to him myself.  Interesting timing.  His guard being gone.”

“I suppose so …” Sable cocked his head.  He folded his meaty arms and staring off as if considering it.

“And you?” Shepard turned to Anchor.  “You have a nice chat with Captain Sable?”

Anchor didn’t answer.  She turned back to Sable.

“Leave.” She gave him a pointed stare.

He shrugged and stepped away from the wall.  “Sorry about that, Commander.  I regret the misunderstanding.  I’ll restrict myself to public areas.”  He paused in the doorway.  “All good with me doing some physical training in the cargo bay with my guys?  We get cabin fever boxed up like this.”

“Fine,” Shepard said but gave him a sharp look.  “Stay to the public areas.  You and your men.  This was not acceptable.”

“Understood, Commander.”

He disappeared out the doorway.

“Briggs,” Shepard eyed him.  “Go get Stofsky.  You can find other duties.  You should have been watching him.  If you needed a break, find someone to relieve you.  Even for a piss.”

Briggs face drooped under her words, but he nodded.  “Yes, Commander.”

“Go.”

He stalked away.  Shepard moved over to Anchor.

“Anchor, I want the truth from you.”

He glared up at her but didn’t speak. 

“Let me tell you what I think,” Shepard said.  “I think you’re working for Terra Firma.”

His eyelid twitched.  She sank down to the floor and rested on her heels in front of him.  He straightened away from the wall and stared her back in the eye.

“You want that shard, and you’ve concocted some plan to get it.  Am I right?”

Anchor frowned.  “That’s preposterous.”

 “Why’d you break the quantum communicator?  That chip I took off you has some code on it.  What’s it say?  No answer?  How about the shuttle?  You really thought you could just blow us up?”

His eyes bulged.

“You know this guy?” Shepard motioned at the doorway.  “You met Captain Sable before, Anchor?”

“No!  I’ve never met him.”

“He connected to Terra Firma?”

“Him?  How should I know!”

“What about your little talk?”

Anchor sank back.  His head tapped against the wall as his stare sharpened.  Shepard folded her hands and stared back at him.

“You know,” he said, “I respected what you did.  Don’t necessarily agree on the decisions you made to get there, but the end results.  You charged in, did what thousands of others couldn’t.  And, I respect that.  But you’re done.  You should have just died up there.  It’d be a better death than fading away as a disappointment.”

“That supposed to hurt my feelings, Anchor?” Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“I hate you,” he said softly.  “I can’t wait to see you thrown off that pedestal.  I hope I’m there when it happens.  When you’re bleeding out and no one around to help, I’ll be in line for my turn to grind your face into the dirt.”

Shepard smirked and rose.

“You’re not clever enough, Anchor.  You haven’t covered your tracks.  I’ll find what you’re about.  The only line you’ll be waiting in is for the firing squad.  I’d love being the one at the trigger.  You want to talk, make a deal, let me know.  Other than that, you can go to hell, you son of bitch.”

She stood outside the door and waited for Stofsky.  Blood rushed in her veins, and she checked the time on her Omni-Tool.  The closer they got to Earth, they closer they got to offloading that bastard.

 

* * *

 

“Joker,” Shepard walked up to the cockpit.  “How far out are we from getting FTL comm signal?”

“’Hi’ to you too, Commander.”

“Joker,” Shepard sighed.

              “Forty-eight hours we might pick up some stuff.  Probably be spotty, staticky as hell.  Gagarin’s still a good way off, Commander.  That detour put us off course.”

              “Plans for the next discharge?”

              “Ten hours off.  Given the planet’s mass, probably be eight to zero charge.”

              “Good.”  Shepard turned.

              “Hey, Shepard.”

              Shepard stopped.  Joker swung around in his chair.

              “What do you need?” she asked.

              “Just thought you should know.  Marx, one of those space station chaps, yeah … I think he’s planning on taking me out or something.”

              “What?” Shepard spun around.  “What the hell does that mean?”

              Joker’s mouth dropped.  “That, uh, hit some button?”

              Shepard glanced over her shoulder then stepped in closer.  “What do you mean?”

              His eyebrows drew together watching her.

              “Jeff …”

              “Not ‘Jeff.’  I really did it, huh?” he asked.  “Bet you’ve seen my middle name in a record somewhere.  You’re just holding in reserve for when I really, really do it.”

              “I’m serious here.”

              “I know!  You called me ‘Jeff.’”

              Shepard glared.  “Don’t say something like that if you don’t mean it.”

              She stood up and waved a hand back at him as she turned.

              “I’ll talk to you later.”

              “Wait,” Joker said.  “I mean, well, I was joking.  Kinda.  But I’m serious too.”

              “Okay.”  Shepard gave a long sigh pivoting back to him.

              “Yeah, I mean, that guy, Marx, he’s up here all the time since we left Langley.  If the geth weren’t gone, I’d be seriously wondering if he was one.”

              Shepard’s jaw tightened at the mention of the geth, but she let it go.

              “You’re worried, because he’s up here all the time?” she said.

              “Well, yeah.  I mean, come on.  He brought his food up here to eat.”

              “You’re up here all the time.”

              “Yeah, but I’m the pilot.  It’s different.  He’s, you know, a passenger I guess or whatever.”

              Shepard folded her arms.

              “So, what’s he doing?  Bother you and Michael.  I don’t see Marx here now.”

              “Yeah, think I finally wore him out.  Must actually be sleeping or something.”

              “Sleeping?  When do you get off?  You’ve been with him the whole time, and now he’s finally gone for his bunk. What’s that tell me about you?”

              “Not the point, Commander.”

              “Then get to it.”

              “Well, he’s asking all sorts of weird questions.  Pilot type questions.”

              Shepard shrugged her shoulders.  “Maybe he is one. We picked up soldiers that probably worked all sorts of jobs on that station.  You spend over a year and a half stuck on a station.  You’d be the first person up bothering the pilot until you couldn’t stay awake any longer.”

              Joker tilted his head and put his lips out as if considering.  “Maybe.  But, I don’t know.  Something’s off.”

              “What though?”

              “I don’t know,” Joker said.  “Just never mind, I guess.”

              Shepard leaned her shoulder into the wall.  She felt the same thing.  Something was off.  Her mind rolled over the facts, but she couldn’t figure out what.

              “I feel it too,” she said simply.

              Joker rubbed his beard.  “What do you think it is?”

              Shepard shook her head.  “I’m not sure, not yet.  But I’ll find out.”

              “How?”

              “I’ll have to think about it.  Until then, tell me if Marx comes back.  I want to talk to him.”

              “Aye, aye, Commander.” Joker gave a small smile.

              Shepard backed up and turned down the gangway to the CIC.  Her eyes fell on the war room’s doorway, but she looked away.  The QEC was still down.  Even it wasn’t, there wasn’t anyone to talk to there.  The council, Admiral Wilson, even Admiral Hackett, they couldn’t do anything.  They wouldn’t have any insight to some intangible, irrational “feeling.”  She needed to do something though.

              “Commander, you okay?” Jane asked.

              “Uh, yeah.  I’m good.  Thanks, Jane.”

              Shepard marched to the elevator.  She’d just have to watch them then.  She’d watch them herself until she couldn’t stand up right if she had to.  And when she couldn’t stand upright anymore, she’d have James or Jensen or Plastino watch them.  They’d be watched day and night cycle until they reached Earth.  Then, they’d sort it.  They just had to get that far.

              Shepard walked into the shuttle bay and took a spot against the wall.  A few of her shuttle bay crew glanced back at her from the horseshoe console in front of the elevator.  In the distance, the space station soldiers ran laps around the crates. 

 

* * *

 

Shepard lingered outside the lounge by the elevator.  The station soldiers had laid out their cots in the lounge and shut the door.  She’d sat at a mess hall table and chatted idly with Jensen for a while, but it was getting late.  She pressed her ear against the lounge door.  Quiet.  She checked the time on her Omni-Tool that Adams had pieced back together.  Two hours since they went in.  They must really be sleeping.  She swung around the corner of the mess hall.  Jensen looked up from her bowl of soup.  Shepard leaned in with a low voice. 

“Hey.  Keep an eye on our friends will you?” Shepard tilted her head toward the lounge.  “Have Jane message me in my room if they stir.”

“Aye, aye,” she nodded.

“If they go separate ways, just stay with Sable.  And call me,” Shepard emphasized.

She scurried to the elevator.  She’d get what rest she could, then she’d be right back down here.  She was going to be their shadow until they walked out the airlock into HQ.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

 

Sleep wasn’t coming.  Shepard kicked the bedcovers down to a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed and rolled over again.  The empty fish tank bubbled light around the room.  It was so hot in here.  Her window overhead glittered with stars not veiled by a blue film of FTL.  They must be offloading the charge.  Black space spread out above glittered with stars and asteroids, planets and solar systems, and everything beyond.

All she wanted to do was sleep.  Her breathing slowed as the air inflated her chest and drained out over and over again.  Each heartbeat flushed blood through her skin.  Each movement of a finger, a toe, the blink of eyelids held so much intricacy and complexity, but simplicity too. 

She should have died on the crucible.  Should have died the day the Normandy tore apart above Alchera -- the madness hurtling over broken terminals and rolling equipment, fire scorching her armor, and heart pulsing in her chest.  That was the first time she should have died.  If she’d died then, the galaxy would be different.  It could be destroyed, or maybe saved by someone else, maybe saved a different way.  A different decision.

Maybe Kaidan would have been better off.  Not if the galaxy had been destroyed, of course.  If she was the only solution, then that was worth it, certainly.  But, if she hadn’t been the only solution and never come back from the dead, maybe Kaidan would be happier.  He could have moved on, found someone else, maybe a civilian.  He’d be happier, not hurt.  Perhaps the biggest turning point wasn’t dying on the Normandy though.  There never should have been a relationship at all.  He’d be better off.  She’d be better off.  She was fine with all now, but it was the idea of him not being over it yet and still hurting causing all this turmoil in her.

Her face burned against and the pillow felt damp.  She frowned and lifted her fingers to the slippery skin under her eye.  She bolted upright and tore off the covers.  Her feet caught in the sheets.  She stomped them away then stumbled up the stairs to the bathroom.  She smacked the sink handle to the side and splashed water into her face.  It was so damn hot in here.  She needed to lower the damn thermostat.  Probably good she didn’t have any fish.  They’d be boiling.   She jammed the down arrow on the thermostat until the number hit its limit. 

She flopped in her desk chair.  Work was what she needed.  She flicked on the terminal, and Stofsky’s station report came up.  She punched through the pictures, but realized after a few minutes that she couldn’t even remember what she’d looked at.  She’d back up and tried again.  Her eyes drifted to the empty fish tank, and her hand dropped slowly from the screen and rested on desk.

Joker had said they were forty-eight hours from comm range.  She checked her Omni-Tool.  That was ten hours ago.  Soon they’d jump back to FLT.  She slumped back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling.  She wanted to do it.  Enough time had passed to be a proper buffer period.  If she talked to him, it would just be friendly.  It’d be business even. 

She frowned and glanced down at the computer terminal.  He might not appreciate her bothering him though.  Her fingers drummed on the chair’s armrest.  No, he might not appreciate it at all actually.  Hard to move on if you’re being pestered by the one you’re trying to move on from.  It would probably just upset things and set him back.

This whole damn situation with Anchor though.  The station crew, the shard, it wasn’t coming together.  Wavy light from the fish tank danced across the hulls of her model ships.  The Normandy hummed with that ever-present vibration in the air she couldn’t hear without thinking about it.   If she could go over everything, hash it out, get pushed into seeing what was probably right in front of her, maybe she could make sense of it.  It rather sentimental though thinking it had to be him to do it.  If she allowed it, she could get help from anyone.  Damnit though, she wanted to talk to him.  She was just going to do it.  She drew a deep breath and made the resolution.  Now she just had to wait a few more hours until they were in range.

Her eyes drifted around the room and strayed to the image on her terminal’s screen.  Her spine shot straight with a heart flutter, and she squinted at the screen.  Her fingers magnified the image.  It was Langley’s central control room.  The walls had bullet holes.  She scrambled to her feet tipping the chair over.  That ferret eyed man, she remembered him now.  She hadn’t worked with him in the Alliance.  She worked with him in Cerberus.  Shepard tumbled down the stairs, raced to her closet, and threw it open.  If he was Cerberus then, he was probably Terra Firma now.  If she could—

A boom echoed through her walls.  Shepard paused swaying with one leg in her pants.  Another boom echoed.  She fumbled into her pants and ripped a shirt out of the closet scattering hangers across the floor.  More echoing booms.  Shepard’s heart raced.

She secured the shirt’s middle button as she raced to the cabin door.  The elevator door outside her cabin whined as they slid open.  Someone must be coming to get her.  She reached to the green button.  Heavy metal footsteps reverberated over the ringing booms.  No one would be wearing armor already unless …

Shepard lurched to her desk, fumbling behind the terminal and scattering datapads and pens, until her fingers gripped the butt of her pistol.  The booms punctuated a muffled roar of what sounded like yelling and running in the distance below.  It was gunfire.  It had to be.  She leveled her pistol at the door and planted her feet apart.  No one was coming in.  The armored visitor was waiting for her then.

The muffled booms set her teeth almost to shattering.  She couldn’t just wait here.  She darted to the door.  If someone was waiting, she’d need to do something unexpected.  The cabin doors slid apart, and Shepard rolled out into the landing.  Metal feet move and a gunshot burst in her ears hitting the floor in the doorway.  She rolled up on her knees leveling her gun.  Two armed figures on either side of the door turned their pistols.  She pulled her trigger twice as she stood.  This close of range, it broke one of men’s shield, and he fell.  Something sharp and metallic caught the light in his hand.  The second man’s pistol fired, and Shepard dodged.  Surprising how lithe and agile she could be in combat without armor.  Another shot tore into the metal by her foot.  She fired again and again still dodging until the armored man slumped back against the wall.  A red stain smeared down the wall as he dropped.  The first man lay unmoving.  Blood pooling on his back as metal syringe rolled from his hand.  She fumbled after it with a pinched frown, but it slipped through the grate.  It clacked metal-against-metal ricocheting down into the darkness. 

A red drop splashed by her hand on the grate.  Her temple burned, and she lifted a hand to her hairline.  Hot liquid slicked her fingertips.  Shot in the head.  She reeled.  Her fingertips brushed the ripped flesh with a sharp flinched.  No, just grazed.  Shepard steadied herself rising to her feet and sent over to the bodies.  Two of the station soldiers they’d picked up.  She recognized their armor.  They were dead or nearly.  She picked up the first one’s pistol and then the next.  She turned them over in her hand.  Must be their own pistols they’d brought on board.  Should have cataloged them into the armory like the rifles.  She took out the clips and tossed the pistols aside.           


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

 

Shepard slammed a fist on the elevator button.  The middle button blinked red.  She jammed it again.  It was still red.  The gunfire below stopped.  Shepard punched the button over and over.  She spun back to her room.  The door stood wide open, one of the men’s arms preventing it from sliding closed.  Shepard found her Omni-Tool, snapped it on, and dashed back to the elevator.

Her fingers quivered as she punched up the screen then tore off a control panel next to the elevator.  Now, she did need Kaidan.  Kaidan or Tali or someone that would know what they were doing.  Someone mechanical.  Damn! How to --  Booms echoed up the elevator shaft again.  They sounded closer now.  Sounded like assault rifles not just individual shots. 

She scrolled furiously with blood dripping off her fingers.  She cursed.  She wasn’t getting anywhere.  She flicked it off.  Trying not to concentrate on the echo’s, she twisted apart wires in the panel.  She tried the red one, then the green.  She cut the yellow one darting a look up at the elevator.  She was so bad at this.  Hell.  Wait!  She twisted the red to the yellow, the elevator doors slid apart. 

Shepard sprang up and looked down an empty shaft.  The elevator wasn’t coming.  She glanced back at the control panel, but there was no time.  She flicked Omni-Tool light on and stared below.  Finally, some luck.  The elevator car was at the CIC, just one floor down.  It meant the station soldiers were probably on the bridge though.

She lowered herself down into the shaft and dangled from the edge of the doorway.  Her light illuminated the metallic roof of the elevator catching falling blood drops in beam.  She let go.  She dropped stumbling across the top of the elevator.  She careening into the wall catching herself.  She hugged her side and drew in a sharp breath.  The shooting echoed in her ears.  She lunged for the metal hatch.  She pulled it open with blood slick hands.  The gunshots exploded in volume echoing through her skull and into her bone marrow.  Flashes in the elevator care meant the doors must be open.  She dropped down inside.

She hit the floor in a crouch.  Three armored station soldiers, one a woman, fired on her right into the CIC sending sparks flying from the consoles.  The galaxy map flickered in the center.    Three Alliance uniforms huddled under the terminals opposite the station soldiers.  One of the officers peeked over the consoles and returned fire with her a rifle she must have taken from a dead station soldier.  Bodies, mostly in Alliance uniform, bleed across the CIC.

Gunshots burst in her ears.  Shrapnel sprayed from the elevator as Shepard darted to Alliance officers.  The two ensigns swung their weapons at her.  Their eyes widened, and they inching back to make room for her.  The third Alliance officer slouched against the console bleed with twitching eyelids.  A station attacker rounded on them by the elevator.  The ensign with the assault rifle rose up and fired.  Shepard pulled her hard to the floor as the attacker fired.  Shepard slid forward smashing a foot into his leg.  He stumbled forward aiming at her, and she fired point blank into his chest again and again.  He fell backward, and Shepard scrambled back to the women.  The ducked under the gunfire.  Shepard shoved them back off the grated floor panel.  She grunted prying it up and sliding it aside.  She waved down to the hollow below.  

“Down.  Don’t forget him.” Shepard tipped her head at the wounded officer.

Gunshots burst behind Shepard. The ensigns scrambled to get down in the floor.  Shepard swung around keeping low and darting looks between the console supports.  A station soldier crept around the consoles from the elevator side again.  Shepard brought her pistol up and fired.  She rolled aside as he fired.  A shot took him in the knee.  He stumbled, kinetic shield zinging, and armor cracked but unharmed.  His flickering shield absorbed another shot.  Shepard kept moving close to the ground getting in closer.  Her third shot drove him tripping backward.  His shield broke.  Shepard stood and shot him in the head.  His helmet cracked, and his head clipped the wall as he fell to the floor.

Shepard swung around as the other shots stopped.  The other two station soldiers streaked toward the cockpit gangway.  Shepard shot around the other side of the console to meet them at the gangway entrance.  She changed out heat clips feet flying.  A silhouette in the cockpit windows moved at the end of the gangway.  Joker on crutches.  He had no gun, of course.  Hands cupped around his mouth as he yelled shuffling backward into the cockpit.  Whatever he was saying, they seemed on bent on getting to him.  Shepard converged with the two attackers at the gangway entrance.  She ducked a shot and slammed a shoulder into the back soldier throwing him to the floor.  The other, a woman, didn’t pause and pounded down the gangway at Joker.

“Get down!  Get down!” Shepard yelled at Joker.

She raised her gun firing stepping away from the fallen soldier rolling to get up on his feet.  Shepard snapped the trigger fast in a clustered.  The woman neared the cockpit as Shepard closed in.  The woman’s shield broke.  She lurched forward as a shot took her in the back, and Shepard slammed into her.  The woman smacked her helmet face down into the floor with Shepard on top.  Shepard pressed her pistol to the back of the helmet and fired.  Even if her shield wasn’t down, that was a kill shot.  Joker crouched by the pilot’s seat and peeked out.  He didn’t look hit.

Pain burst through Shepard’s right shoulder with the sound of a gunshot.  Her pistol clattered to the gangway from shocked fingers.  Armored feet charged down the gangway as Shepard twisted pulling the crew women's armored body on top of herself.  The soldier Shepard had shoulder to the ground rushed down the gangway with his pistol flashing.  Armor fragments sprayed in Shepard’s face as her left hand strained for the dropped pistol.

“Hey!” Joker yelled.

It was enough.  The gunman glanced up at Joker.  Shepard lunged over and tightened her fingers around the pistol.  Her shot missed.  The station soldier ducked as a light overhead burst in a shower of sparks.  Her left handed aim was all over the place.  A shot burst by Shepard’s head, and she twisted around the woman’s armored body still holding it as a shield.  The attacker slowed his pace pounding shots into the woman’s armor.  The armor split and blood started to spray with each shot. 

Shepard fired again and again and again, breath hissing fast and hot through clenched teeth.  Her shots stuck the walls and the floor.  The attacker ducking as he returned fire even though her bullets were missing by a long mile.  A bullet shot through the woman’s armor. Shepard writhed screaming against her teeth before trying to steady her gun again.  Shepard fired.  The shot hit the ventilation duct over the attacker’s head.  It erupted with screaming gas, and the man reeled back.  Shepard steadied her gun.  The gunman caught his balance.  He lifted his rifle as she clenched her breath.  He sited down the barrel.  Shepard pulled the trigger.  The man’s gun flashed as he toppled backward.  The shot hit above Shepard’s head in the cockpit.  Shepard squinted down the site of her barrel.  The attacker sat up from the gangway floor and scrambling to his knees.  Shepard pulled the trigger again.  His shield burst.  The next shot, and he fell to the floor with misty red plume behind him.

Shepard panted lowering her shaky hand.  The pistol dropped from her slippery red grip rattling on the floor.  She folded the woman’s blood torn body off of herself.  Pieces of armor clattered to the floor like jigsaw confetti.  She sat up.  A shot had penetrated through the station woman’s’ armor.  Shepard hissed touching where it had clipped her hip.  It wasn’t deep.  It wasn’t as painful as the shoulder.  Shepard prodded at her right shoulder.  Jolts of pain shot down her right arm flexing her fingers out.  It was a clean exit-entry.  It hadn’t hit the joint.  It was bleeding though.  Bleeding bad.

“Shepard!” Joker hobbled over in a rush and fell down gangway beside her.  “Damn. You’re bleeding.  No medigel?”

“No,” Shepard hissed.

He reached for her shoulder, but she shoved him off with her left hand.  She grunted stumbling to her feet.  Metal feet pounded through the CIC.  Shepard’s breath froze.  Her hand empty.  Another attacker flew around the corner.  He must have been in the war room.  He stopped and aimed his pistol.  A shot threw him stumbling back.  Shepard flinched, her ears ringing as Joker’s arm wavered pointing around her legs.  Two more shots flashed.  The first was way off, but the second hit the man’s shield.

“Gun.” Shepard put her hand down. 

Joker jammed a shaky pistol into her left hand.  She threw out the clip, popping in the one from her pocket, ducked a bullet, aimed, and fired until the clip ran out.  Her left-handed shots were only slightly better than Joker was with both.  The man fell down.  She rushed over gun still clenched in her hand, wet with blood and sweat, and fired against his helmet.  She checked the other two bodies.

“Why’d they target you?” Shepard demanded.

“Told ‘em  I was sending a message out.” Joker stood up. 

“We’re not close enough.”

“They didn’t want to chance my bluff, I guess.”

Shepard shivered.  She had to think.  Booms echoed from lower decks. 

“Stay here.” Shepard walked down the gangway and kicked one of the pistols on the floor to Joker.

Joker stooped for the pistol.  “I don’t know how--”

“Take it!” Shepard snapped.  “You did just fine a minute ago. Hide under the grated panels in the CIC.  Some others down there.”

“What about—”

“Do it!” Shepard boomed at him.

Joker swayed on his crutches with empty glassed eyes.

“Joker!  Do it!”

He blinked.  “Yeah.  Okay, Commander.”

Shepard stepped over the bodies around the CIC’s consoles.  One dead attacker killed before she showed up.  Two Alliance officers lay face down in red puddles.  She had this one, the two sneaking around the CIC, three rushing her on the gangway, and two upstairs by her cabin.  Eight dead then, little under half.  She punched the elevator button but nothing happened. 

Metal creaked and hushed voices rose to Shepard’s left.  Her head whipped toward the war room.  She pulled her hand away from her shoulder and held the pistol out.  She slipped on the ball of her feet along the wall and up to the doorway.  She burst around the corner.  A shot fired at her.  She ducked.  It was poor aim.  Shepard raised her head, and her pistol lowered.  Three Alliance crewmen blinked at her holding bloody wounds.  One was only halfway up the ladder in the corner.  A corporal fell against the wall on shaky legs and held his side.  He dropped the pistol.

“Out to the CIC.  Hide under the panels.  Move!”

They rushed past her.  Shepard strode across the room with pain shooting from her hip.  Blood plastered the pants’ fabric to her leg.  Her steps faltered as she rounded the corner into the QEC room. The quantum communicator -- whatever issue it had before was a scratch compared to this.  It was wasted, completely shot apart.  It was an intentional target clearly.  She sighed rubbing her forehead with the back of her left hand.  The last attacker she hadn’t counted on, this must have been his handiwork.  Her left hand dropped to her side still clenching her pistol. 

She didn’t have time to try the elevator’s control panel again.  They’d obviously overrode it.  Her eyes fell on the ladder beyond the war room.  It rose out of the floor near the boardroom’s table.  It wasn’t a direct route, and she hadn’t crawled through the ship much, but it would work.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

 

The missing panel in the fiberglass ceiling of the med bay blurred in Shepard’s vision as she tried to catch her breath.  Her right arm couldn’t take the strain of lowering herself gently.  She should have known that.  No medigel, no biotics, she wasn’t used to this.

She rolled over with a groan and grabbed her gun.  She groped at the metal exam table and pulled herself up on unsteady legs.  The med bay stood empty.  Something caught the corner of her eye.  She ducked.  An armed man stood beyond the bullet-shattered med bay window.  He pointed a rifle down the corridor at the weapon system’s core.  He fired a shot and yelled something.  There didn’t appear to be anyone else.  The others must have rushed off somewhere, maybe to the bridge. 

She slunk over to shattered glass window.  She slammed the butt of her pistol into a section of jagged glass, and hunched down.  She pressed her back the wall turned her face up waiting.  The firing cut off.  Footsteps neared, and she tensed, muscles coiling.  A shadow fell across the floor.  She sprang up.  The station soldier’s eyes widened through the helmet’s visor.  His rifle lifted as she thrust her pistol over the broken glass.  She fired point blank into his helmet.  His shield snapped out, helmet cracking as he stumbled back.  The second shot dropped him. Shepard drew her arm carefully back through the window.  Blood dripped down her fingertips from a long cut put to her elbow.  Getting so shaky and left handed, point blank needed to be her tactic. 

No one else came running to the gunshots, and Shepard backed away from the window turning to the cupboard.  She threw open doors peering onto each shelf.  Her breath came out slowly with a smile.  She scooped down all the medigel she could find.  Prefilled autoinjectors, perfect, but there were so few.  She tore a cap off with her mouth and stabbed it into her arm.  Numbness burned up her arm, and she clenched her breath as an icy tautness strained across her skin.  Blood slowed into an oozed and a translucent skin formed over the pulpy red hole in her shoulder.  An icy ache replaced the sharp throbbing.  Her hip and her head barely hurt.  She could breathe again.  She flexed her right hand and with only a slight cringe.

She scooped up the rest of the medigel.  Shepard rushed out the bed bay doors and tripped to her knees.  She clutched the medigel injectors tighter and stumbled back to her feet.  She glanced down and her spine stiffened.  Dr. Chakwas’s eyes stared wide open and unseeing.  A pistol lay next to her open hand.  Shepard stumbled back heart pounding in her throat.  She couldn’t think about this now.  Crumpled forms lay throughout the mess hall.  Shots rang mutely from both above or below.  She needed to focus on the living. 

The weapon’s core door stood closed and marked with gunshot holes.  Good, they just needed to stay there.  She turned and rushed around the corner to the elevator.  Her eyes caught open doorway to the crew bunks.  A pair of turien legs lay halfway in the hall.  Dread twisted her stomach as it drew her forward.  Among the bunks, dead humans and turiens lay over each other on a bullet-holed floor awash in red and blue blood.  Shepard reeled back sick.

“Shepard.”

She snapped her head around to the lounge at the other end of the hall.  Granger slumped on the floor against the door to the lounge holding his side.  Shepard ran sliding down by his side.  She tore the medigel’s cap off with her teeth, spitting it away, and stabbed the needle into Granger’s side.  He squeezed his eyes shut with a hiss.

“Is anyone else alive?” Shepard asked.

“Think so, but hurt.  Hurt bad.  Sounded like some in the observation deck.  Some in the mess hall hid in the weapon’s core, I think.  No one was armed.  Most of us were sleeping.  We didn’t expect—”

“Later.  Here.” 

Shepard dumped the medigel injectors into Granger’s lap and stood. 

“Can you walk?” she asked.

Granger’s face relaxed. The medigel must be working.

“I think so,” he said. 

“Okay.  Go around.  Help the others—”

Shepard cut off.  The elevator rumbled to a stop at their floor. 

“Stay still,” she whispered.

She dashed over and pressed her back against the wall next to the elevator.  The doors slid open.  A voice spoke as if into a comm.

“On the crew deck now.  Starting—”

Shepard swung around the corner and fired three shots.  It wasn’t great aim, but two hit.  The station soldier clutched his arm as his rifle rattled on the elevator floor.  He stared up wide eyed through the Plexiglass of his helmet.

              He yelled into his comm.  “It’s Shep—”

              Shepard pulled the trigger again and again.  He slammed into the back of the elevator, holes gushing blood from his helmet, and slid to the floor.  Shepard caught the doors from closing.  Granger swayed standing against the wall.

              “You’re getting company.  Find everyone you can.  Barricade yourselves in the observation deck.”

              “Aye, aye,” Granger said.

A huge window hopefully meant less chance of unrestrained gunfire or grenades.  The glass was nearly as resistant as the ship’s hull, but they probably didn’t know that.  She hoped they didn’t have grenades, but they’d gotten rifles, they were in the armory.

              Shepard stepped into the elevator.  They definitely commandeered the elevator, but now she’d gotten on fair and square.  She hesitated over the floor button.  The low booms of gunfire too close to be the shuttle bay.  She pushed for engineering.  Her foot nudged against the attacker’s rifle.  Her pistol’s storage compacting function wasn’t working, so she jammed it into the back of her waist band and picked up the rifle.  The elevator stopped.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

 

              The doors slid open to darkness.  Elevator light spilled out illuminating the hallway.  Shepard darted out the elevator.  One thing about fighting in the dark, you didn’t want to be the one standing in the spotlight.  The starboard side of the hallway flashed with booms.  Two shots struck by her feet.  The elevator light narrowed as Shepard dodged the opposite direction.  As it cut the hall off into darkness, she swung around the corner to engineering. 

With the light gone, a bright veil blinded her in the darkness.  She reached in front of her and touched the closed door to engineering.  She wasn’t getting that open with the power out.  Shots burst in the elevator hallway, and an Omni-Tool light flared on.  Shepard hunched low by the corner and watched the hallway floor as the light widened with approaching footsteps.  Bullets spraying into the wall opposite her as she saw his legs.  Shepard smashed into the light bearer’s legs and tumbled him backward.  She fired her rifle into him, and he staggered back before falling.  Shepard stood and kicked off his light.  The hall plunged back into darkness.  Another rule about fighting in the dark, while you didn’t want to be the one in the spotlight, you also didn’t want to be the one carrying the spotlight. 

              Gunfire echoed somewhere on the starboard side toward engineering.  She crept along the elevator hallway toward the shots.  She raised her rifle blindly.  Flashes of gunfire reflected on the hallway’s windows overlooking the dark cargo bay.  In the strobes of gunfire reflected in the window, Shepard could make out four men kneeling with rifles at the entrance to engineering.  The door had been forced open.  Return gunfire flashed deep inside engineering.  Return fire.  One of the attackers glanced back as if wondering about their fifth man.  He turned back to fire into engineering.

Shepard sprang out around the corner facing them.  The hallway lit up in riflefire as they struggled to get turn around.  They fired at her, and she ducked back around corner as chips of metal flooring burst around her feet.  Bullets tore apart the corner of the wall as she pressed against the wall readying her rifle again.

The hallway to engineering roared into life.  Gunfire exploded in a well of flickering light full of yelling and slapping footsteps.  Shepard darting a look around the corner but shots hit near her face.  She pulled back and waited a second before trying again.  She spun out leveling her rifle, but the engineering hallway had fallen dark.  Low voices murmured.

“Adams?” Shepard whispered.

A hush fell over the voices.

“Shepard?”  It wasn’t Adams.

“James?”

The world burst to monochrome white as a light hit her face.  She growled and shielded her eyes.  Footsteps rushed down engineering hallway from engineering.

“You’re blinding me, Vega!”

The light lowered as footsteps slowed in front of her.  Someone grabbed her right arm.

“Ahh!  Damnit!”  She shoved the hand away with sharp breath.

“Whoa.  Hey,” James’s voice said.

The white spots melted away from her vision.  Faces circled around her.

“Vega, Cortez, Stofsky, Diaz, Tobin,” Shepard said looking at each one.

Only five of them.

              “What happened?  You get hit, Commander?” James peered at her bloody shoulder.

              “Yeah, I got hit,” Shepard snapped.  “How else you think I got a bullet hole in the shoulder?”

              “Must hurt, huh?”

              “Are you serious?” Shepard twisted to look at him.

              “Just, didn’t know you were hurt or nothing.  You know, when I grabbed you.”

              Shepard let out a long breath and looked around at the face. “Okay.  What’s going on?”

              Cortez and the others looked to James. 

              James answered. “Those Langley guys rushed us. Heard gunfire down in the cargo bay, then they came rushing out the elevator.  Shot Adams.  Some of the others too.”

              “Damnit.” Shepard dropped her head.

              “Hey, hey, hey.” James stepped in closer.  “They’re all right though.  I mean, Greg … he’s pretty bad, but they’re all alive.”

              Shepard snapped her head up.  “Where are they?”

              She should have kept some of the medigel.  She hadn’t been thinking.

              “Back there.” James motioned to the engineering room.  “We were pinned down.  Only had three pistols.  You distracted them, and I thought we better take the shot.”

              “And the lights?” Shepard asked.

              “Cut ‘em,” Diaz said.  “Right away.  Shuttle bay too.  It disoriented them.  There’s a lot more just these ones we took out.”

              Cortez moved down to the corner and flashed his Omni-Tool light down the elevator hallway.

              “There were more here,” James agreed.  “Left for some reason.”

              “I’m betting to the bridge.”  Shepard remembered the station soldier she’d killed in the elevator.  He’d been on his comm.  “They might be on the crew deck now.”

              “Searching for you?”

              “Trying to lock down the ship,” Shepard said.  “They could’ve blown Joker to hell in the cockpit.  I think they didn’t want to hit the controls.”

              Cortez wandered back to them.  “Then you’re probably right, James.  That’s why we kept to the engine room.” 

“Figured a better chance of them not throwing in a grenade,” James said.

              Shepard nodded.  “They didn’t throw grenades then?”

              “Either they don’t have any, or they’re being careful,” James answered.

              “I think taking out the crew is only step one in some bigger scheme.” She hefted the rifle onto her left shoulder.  “We need to keep moving.  Are the injured out of the way?  They’ll be back.”

              James tossed Diaz the rifle he’d lifted off one of the attackers.  He tipped his head toward engineering.  Diaz nodded backing up, turned his Omni-Tool light on, and jogged to the engine room.

              Shepard watched him go then turned back.  “We’ll retake the bridge.  They’ve probably reclaim it.  Got some of our people hiding under the floor.”

              James rounded the corner into the elevator hallway.  Shepard backed up to watch him stand over the man she’d killed earlier.  James hoisted up the man’s rifle and turned to her.  Shepard’s eyes shifted to the closed door behind him.

              “James, check Anchor.  Cortez, Stofsky help him wrench that door open.” Shepard turned to Engineer Tobin.  “Anything you can do about shutting down the elevator?  We need to slow them down.”

Cortez and Stofsky rushed down the hall to help James force the unpowered door open.  Tobin bent by the elevator and ripped off the cover to the control panel.  Shepard flexed the fingers on her right hand with a cringing at the numb, fat, clumsy feeling.  Diaz’s footsteps pounded back from engineering. 

“They’re tucked away, Commander.  Left them the rifle.”

              “Good.”

              “How’re we getting to the bridge if the elevator out?” James grunted as he wrenched at the doors as they squealed apart.

              “We’ll—”

              The elevator hummed. 

              “Commander.” Diaz’s eyes widened and he backed up.

Shepard grabbed Tobin’s shoulder and shoved him toward James.  Cortez and Stofsky had the doors halfway when James let go.  He pulled the rifle off his back.

              “That’s good enough.  Everyone in.  You too, Vega,” Shepard said.

              Cortez and Stofsky squeezed through the crack in the doors.  James followed.  Tobin and Diaz scrambled to the door.  Shepard put her back to them and backed up leveling her rifle at the elevator doors.  Her team only had two rifles with half clips, a few pistols, no armor.  They weren’t winning this.  The elevator doors whined open.  Shepard fired as she slipped back through the crack in the door after Tobin.  Light flooded the hall, and Shepard ducked back as bullets sprayed through the gap in the doorway.

              “Anchor’s gone,” James said.

              “Stofsky, open that hatch against the wall,” Shepard shouted.  “Then everyone down that ladder into the cargo bay.  Go!”

              Bullets tore apart the back wall.  Shepard didn’t even look around the corner as she angled her rifle through the door crack and returned fire.  The hallway flashed with sparks and return gunfire.  There only had to be six or seven of them left if she’d been counting right.  James was beside her with his rifle and fired through the doorway just above her.

              “James, get to the armory,” Shepard said.  “They’ve broken into it obviously.  We’ll take what’s left.  We need armor.”

              James fell back and followed Cortez down the ladder into the cargo bay.  Shepard‘s rifle clicked.  She scrambled up behind James as he lowered himself.  She shoved him down the hatch slinging the rifle over her back.  Footsteps rushed down the hall toward them.  Someone shouted and something skidded through the doorway.  It rolled across the metal floor.

              “Down! Down!” Shepard stuffed James down with her feet.

              She ducked below the hatch.  The room exploded.  Something tore into her scalp.  Her  right hand fumbled on the railing and her foot slipped.  She barely caught the rung below kicking James in the head.  He dropped himself down the railing and landed on his feet.  A light shined from the windows in engineering that overlooked the cargo back.  The light surrounded her as she slipped down the ladder.  They were probably cursing.  The light weakened as it followed her to cargo bay floor. She dropped staggering against a crate.  The light turned away and shifted to where the elevator would be.

              James was already halfway to the armory.  The door hung open with a thin light illuminating inside. Shepard racing up behind James.  A hot oozing sensation ran down the back of her neck. 

              “Take cover,” she yelled waving at the horseshoed bank of consoles in front of the elevator.  “Watch the ladder too.”

They reached the armory doors.  Shepard touched James’s arm.

“If they take the ship, we need the distress beacon out there.  I’ll—”

The light in the armory moved, and Shepard’s eyes grew wide.  Anchor was armored as he stepped out of the armory.  Shepard tore the rifle off her back.  The clip was exhausted, but he didn’t know that.  Anchor had something in his hand.  Shepard shoved James aside and pointed the rifle at Anchor’s chest.

“Give me that shard,” she said.

“Commander …”

“Give it to me, or we’ll blow you away, Anchor.”

James aimed his rifle at Anchor.  Anchor’s eyes widened through the plexiglass shield darted between them and to the men behind.  The elevator hummed.  Shepard stepped in closer raising the rifle to his face.

“Here!” he said.

He held out his hand as his eyes moved to the elevator doors.  She lowered the rifle and touched the shard still gripped tight in his hand.  James stepped in closer with his rifle.  Anchor opened his hand then raising his palms up.

“I’m on your side,” he said.  “Just protecting it.”

“You’re lying.” Shepard gripped the shard in her fist.  “James, go.”

James shoved around Anchor into the armory. Cortez followed on his heels.

“Your armor’s in there,” Anchor said to Shepard and nodded at the armory.  “We all—”

The elevator doors opened gunshots exploded.  Stofsky and Tobin stood up from the bank of terminals rapid firing their pistols.  James ducked from the armory and slid clips spinning across the floor to their feet.  Cortez threw out a rifle.  The darkness flashed with gunfire.  The floor exploded with bullet fire at Shepard’s feet as men piled out the elevator.  Anchor darted away.  Shepard cursed taking a step after him.  A grenade sailed in front of her, and she reeled back.

“Cover!” she yelled.

She slipped around a crate as it exploded rocking the ground beneath her.  She shoved the shard in her pocket.  She needed to get to the distress beacon.  If could drift close enough to Gagarin to alert a ship, maybe the station itself.  The Alliance needed to know if the ship was rogue.  She squinted at the passageway in the corner of the bay near the shuttle.  It was opposite the armory.  The air strobe with gunfire and James threw a return grenade.  Shepard bolted to the open passage. 


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

 

She scrambled around the shuttle and dove down the passageway off the cargo bay. Her Omni-Tool lit up the long narrow passage.  Escape pods lined the outer wall opposite a long wall of dark buttons and silent circuitry.  Shepard dropped her rifle and flew down the corridor up to the distress beacon’s release terminal.  The power was out, but she should be able to draw from the emergency generator reserve.  She pulled up the generator’s interface screen on her Omni-Tool.  She’d learned the interface in training.  She only needed to—

She rammed forward into the terminal.  Pain exploded in her head with a gasp.  Shot?  No, still alive.  She lifted her off her feet as something spun her around and slammed against the bulkhead.  A helmet pressed into her face as armored hands constricted her neck.  Shepard sucked at the air as the fingers buried deeper into her throat.  She gripped his arm and tried to raise an elbow, break it like she’d been taught.  He lifted her again and slammed her into the bulkhead.  Her vision burst with bright spots swimming in pain.  Her hands fumbled and started to slip as the world shifted and blurred away.  He drew her away from the wall and threw her back against the bulkhead.  He backed away and pulled out a pistol.  Shepard slipped down the wall clutching at a seam in the bulkhead to keep upright.  She doubled over retching as she sucked in air.  Her attacker reached up to his helmet.  It clicked, and he pulled it off.  Anchor grinned.  His helmet clapped on the floor as he moved both hands around the pistol.  He leveled it at her chest.

“The Great Commander Shepard.”

An explosion rocked the ship, and Shepard tumbled to the floor.  Anchor stumbled a step as a wave of heat scorched over them.  The entrance to the cargo bay rolled with flames.  Shepard coughed in the gathering smoke.  Anchor pressed the pistol to her forehead.

“Where is it?” he yelled.  “You have it on you?”

“Your friends hit the fuel recoupler,” Shepard croaked.  She wheezed as she pulled up against the wall to stand on shaky feet.

“Surrender now,” he said.  “You can live.  I agreed to that much.  But damn, I hope you say ‘no.’”

Shepard’s chest heaved as the flames brightened the side of their faces.  She glanced to the roaring mix of flame and smoke.  The fire could backed up in the recycler line running under that crappy shuttle.  The shrapnel from a shuttle explosion would kill everyone.  Maybe that was preferable to them losing the ship and the shard.  Her hand strayed to her back pocket.  Anchor’s eyes followed the movement.

“You do have it.  Give it to me.” 

He put his hand out.  Shepard reached into her pocket.  As she pulled out the shard, her fingers brushed against her waistband.  She still had that pistol.  With her fat fingers and Anchor armored, she’d only get one shot before he kill her.  She held the shard in her hand.  Blood dripped off his gauntlet as he stretched his fingers out.  He hesitated to take it from her.  He was probably realizing taking it from her dead would be less risky.

“I have my cuffs.  Put them on, you can live.”

If she hesitated any longer, he’d just shoot her.

“My crew?” Shepard asked.

“I won’t lie. No.”

“Then, I agree.”

Shepard lobbed the shard down the corridor opposite the roaring fire of the cargo bay.  The shard ricocheted down the passageway swallowed in the dark.  Anchor’s eye flew wide, teeth grinding, as he snapped his gun up to her chest. 

“I surrender,” Shepard said hurriedly.  “Give me your cuffs.” 

Anchor’s nostrils flared.  His eyes shifted to the dark passageway and back to her. 

“Go get it.”

His face reddened, breathing heavy and fast, but his gun lowered.  He really would take her alive then. 

“Not part of the deal.”

His fingers squeezed around the butt of his pistol, face tightening into a bright red scrunch.  Push him too far he’d just kill her, to hell with it, but she needed him mad enough to do something.

“Give me your cuffs.  I’ll wait for you to go find it,” she said.

He lashed forward with the back of his glove.  The flash of movement, and she caught his arm.  His eyes widened as the shot exploded around the small space deafened her.  His pupils dilated, face going blank.  She released his arm, and it fell limply falling him crashed to the floor.  His gun clattered on beside him.  A bloody mist hung in the air.  She clutched the pistol from her waistband in her left hand.  The barrel angled up from her waist with a finger still tense on the trigger. 

The ship shuttered.  Shepard stumbled arms whirling to catch her balance.  A low hum lit up buttons along the wall in front of her.  Circuitry buzzed to life as lights blazing along the ceiling.  A bright fluorescence bloomed in from the cargo bay.  The beacon’s release terminal beeped next to her with the glow of a loading screen.  Someone had gotten the power back on.

Fire plumed in the bay still echoing with gunfire.  The ship lurched, and air slipped under her feet with a sudden gradient.  The gravity was fluxing.  Shepard’s tumbled back toward the cargo bay and grabbed for traction with her boots.  Anchor’s body slid into her before rolling into the cargo bay.  Flames gushing up from the bay as the ship’s gravity resettled.  Shepard stumbled to her feet choking on smoke.  She had to get the beacon released before the fire disabled it.  Shepard stumbled to the beacon’s terminal and punched through the programming.  The button under the terminal’s screen changed from red to green.  Shepard smashed her fist down on it.  A pop, and she heard the release. 

Shepard rushed to the cloudy fluorescence at the entrance to the cargo bay.  The ship slid and lurched underneath her again.  She reeled forward caught herself on the edge of the doorway before careening into the flames.  She coughed, eyes stinging, as the gravity reset.  Her feet slipped as she stabilized on the floor.  The gray outline of the shuttle loomed across from her with the fire climbing around it.  If it ignited, the explosion’s shrapnel would tear through everything in the bay.

   She darted out through the flame and smoke.  She ducked, holding her breath, and skimmed along the wall.  The smoke thinned as the volume of gunshots and yelling overwhelmed the electrical popping and roar of flame.  Two soldier silhouettes hurried to the elevator in front of her.

“He isn’t coming.  Let’s go,” one said.

 It was Sable.  The station soldier with him turned his head as he braked in front of the elevator.

“Shepard,” he yelled.

“Shepard?” Sable whirled around raising his rifle.

  Shepard stumbled back into the smoke but left the wall as bullets sprayed around her.  She skimmed the raging heat by the shuttle and burst out.  The bank of terminals in front of the elevator divided them as she dodged past.  Bullets sparked on the consoles behind her.

“That was Shepard!  Something happened to him then.  Get the others, and we’re going up.”

She plowed deeper into the bay.  Shapes moved in thin smoke out in the bay.  Two armored forms returned fire as they rushed backward probably to reach the elevator.  A group of shadows followed the two men and returned fire.  Shepard planted her feet, heat at her back, and tracked the two men with her pistol.  Her shot hit the closest soldier in his side.  He yelled out and stumbled.  The other soldier turned back and rushed to grab him under the arm.  Shepard pulled the trigger again.  Click.  The clip was spent.

She charged the attackers with her Omni-Tool blade glowing.  A voice, sounded like James, yelled out and the gunfire from the shadows stopped.  The attacker held the other up in one arm.  He saw Shepard and straightened.  The rifle dropped from free hand, and he raising an open palm.  The wounded one swayed and tossed his rifle to the side.  He raised empty hands.  Shepard skid to a stop in front of them.

“You and I then,” Sable’s voice said so quiet Shepard barley heard it.

The two forms at the end of the bay turned to the elevator.  Shepard surrendered men’s rifle away before whipping her head to the elevator.  James and Cortez crashed through the smoke by her.

“They’re getting away!” James coughed.

“They’ll vent the bay,” Shepard said darting to the elevators.

“Holy—” James launched after her with feet pounding behind her.

The two men rushed into the elevator.  Sable jabbed a button by the door.  They lifted their rifles and fired.  James darted to the armory.  Shepard ducked and rammed her shin into Cortez’s toolchest.  It didn’t even rock so heavy with tools.  The elevator doors closed off the rifle fire sliding shut.  Shepard’s heart pounded watching it narrow and stood.  Dark energy glowed in her vision as the toolbox flared blue.  It shot to the elevator with a swing of her arm.  Tools rattled and crashed out as it caught the closing doors. 

The blue energy disappeared.  Sable rushed to shove the tool box from between the doors, but the doors were already opening.  The box slammed down to the floor overturning and spilling out tools.  Shepard caught James in the edge of her vision throw her something from the armory.  She caught it, tore off the ring, and pitched it into the elevator.  She dove behind the bank of terminals.  It exploded.  Tools pelted the terminal as shrapnel tore into the metal floor at her feet.  Shepard popped up.  The elevator swirled smoke under flickering lights.  A bloody palm rested on the elevator’s threshold not moving. 

Shepard raced back to her men.  The two surrendered station soldiers knelt with hands behind their heads.  Tobin pointed a rifle at their backs.  Cortez lay on the ground holding his side as red spreading across the floor.  He must take a bullet when Sable and the other solider fired out from the elevator.  Stofsky hunched over him as she slid to a stop over them. 

“We need to vent the fire.  We’re going back up the ladder,” Shepard yelled wetly tasting metal in her mouth.

James panted by her elbow.  His eyes widened as she turned to him.

“Lola, your nose …”

Shepard touched her nose.  Blood gushed over her fingertips, and she stumbled.  James caught her elbow and steadied her.

“Lola …”

Something behind them exploded with a pop.  The shock slammed into them to the floor shuttering through Shepard’s chest.  The fire was backing up in the recycling line under the shuttle.   A roar of heat and smoke, and the floor heaving under them.  Shepard pushed up to her feet.  It exploded again, and she braced.

Time stood still.  She stared around feeling every breath, every blink, every heartbeat.  James’s head turned to her eyes eye rounding.  The others raising their heads off the floor.  Out of the smoke and fire, like a wraith, the shuttle hurled toward them.  The roar of building pressure deafened her as light bursting out through the shuttle’s seams.  Throw from the duct’s explosion, it was igniting.  It eclipsed the blaze behind.  Their eyes widened, mouths open, as the men pushed themselves up to run.  Too late.

Shepard set her feet, and it slammed into her palm flaring blue.  She stumbled back straining forward against it as dark energy enveloped the shuttle blooming in orange and red.  She spread her fingertips gritting her teeth as shockwaves slammed into her body.  Heat and flame rolled under the veil of blue as it flared with light.  Nerves burst through her body as her teeth clenched almost to shattering.  Air squeezed tight in her lungs as pain hemorrhaged through her chest and stabbed up her neck. 

She shuddered pressing her burning palm harder against the erupting shuttle.  Sheets of metal imploded and shrieked as they pulled tighter in her trembling barrier.  The shuttle tipped backward.  Pain erupted behind her eyes, splintered through her bones, her vision erupting in white.  The barrier shattered.  Metal and heat imploded in a shockwave of thunder and fire.  Shepard flew backward.  Her head slammed against the floor.  Her vision dimmed, breath escaping through her lips as the world hung suspended.  Each blink.  Each breath.  Each heartbeat.  Emptiness.

 

 


	39. Part 2: Shattering Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 (heavy Shenko): Kaidan Alenko, leading Alliance anti-terrorist efforts, is still mourning his relationship with Commander Shepard. After events of 'Aimless Victory,' he's determined to expose what really happened aboard the Normandy. Unsupported, he must face the Alliance he believes in and the values he upholds. But some fights can't be won. For Kaidan, losing this fight means losing everything.

**Burning Barriers**

**Part 2:  Shattering Point**

 

**Chapter 1**

Pebbles crunched into the mud under Kaidan’s sandy running shoes.  With water tied up in the snowcaps, the river withdrew from boulders usually hidden under the rush of water.  It made a broad riverbank stiff with cold and perfect for running near the tree line.  A morning mist rolled down the mountainside adding to the fog blowing in off the ocean shore ahead.   Waves roared in the distance.  Hearing it from this far, the wind must be picking up along the coast.

Kaidan kept to the rocky, compacted sand along the top of the bank.  Veer too close to the water where the sand changed to rolling stones, he’d turn his ankle.  He knew that too well.  That had been a long summer.  He’d regretted it every day as he hobbled around his parents’ deck.  Everyone else had been out swimming, playing sports, training, or working job angles.  It hadn’t all been a waste though.  It was the same summer he’d decided to apply to the Alliance.

Kaidan cantered to a walk catching his breath.  His shoes smudged the single set of tracks pointed the other direction, his own from an hour ago.  Or was it an hour and half?  He reached for his wrist then frowned.  Right.  No Omni-Tool.  It had been blasted to pieces.  Pieces that could be put back together, granted, but it would take some time.  It was more than half fixed though.  At least, it gave him something to do.  As for the the Omni-Tool he’d borrowed from the Alliance, well, there was a reason it was a loaner.  Not that it wasn’t appreciated.  It worked to get ahold of him and did the basics.  The sun stood over the mountains as a faint white haze in the overcast sky.  It was probably ninety minutes then.

Kaidan rubbed his neck as his breath plumed out as a vapor.  If he didn’t start running again, his sweat would turn cold.  Cold and sweaty was a bad combo.  It felt good to walk for a moment though listening to the ocean churn in the distance.  The cool, damp forest air fresh with pine and rain had a brackish hint now.  It had sprinkled earlier.  From the feel of it, it might again, but he was almost back.

Everyone was probably up now.  For a moment when he left, he thought he’d woken Kate.  He’d paused in the entry way swaying on one foot, a shoe halfway on, and the floor boards creaking under him.  But there was only silence.  He’d slipped out the door.  They were back home all together.  Well, almost together.  There wasn’t going to be a real “together” again.  Not anymore.

Cold air chilled back of his sweaty neck.  It felt good in a way as his heart rate slowed.  It was peaceful, quiet.  The river water reflected a mix of silver and greens.  It was beautiful here.  It was beautiful elsewhere though too.

He’d seen a lot.  Who would have thought while he sat on his parents’ deck with a twisted ankle deciding what to do and where to go, he’d go on to see all this?  All the things he’d seen.  He’d walked on the quarian homeworld, something generations of quarians had longed their whole lives to see.  He, only a human, not even part of the galactic community fifty years, had walked there.  He’d seen geth and quarians, bitterest enemies brimming with distrust, put it aside and work together.  He’d made friends with krogans, AI’s, a prothean.  Maybe “friends” was optimistic on the last one.  He’d met Councilors, Spectres, a Primach.  He’d received recognition from admirals.  Become a Spectre.  Met Shepard.

Kaidan’s chest tightened as his pace slowed.  Shepard.  He missed her.  He thought of her every day.  Caught up thinking of something else, he’d realize he wasn’t thinking of her to only then be thinking of her.  It was aggravating really.  But maybe, he wouldn’t have it any other way.  Sometimes he wasn’t sure.

Gulls screamed as waves roared louder nearing the beach.  It was still a way off, but he could see the silhouette of home up on the hill rise to his left.  The third story just crested the treetops.  It was too far to make out the wrapped deck or see how many lights were on.  The loud business swarming inside was going to be a system shock after being out here, like blanching a vegetable.  Some of them were head out today though. 

They’d visited the memorial gardens in Vancouver the day before.  Seeing his dad’s name, he’d seen it so many times alone in the garden while at HQ, but there was something seeing it again with everyone gathered.  Painful.  It would have been better to have just left it with the small service they’d had months ago when he’d first gotten back, but Uncle Mikhail leave hadn’t lined up with Kaidan’s until now.  Besides more than just he, Mom, and Kate’s family wanted to remember Kaidan’s dad too, even though it felt like picking at an open wound.

Anderson’s name had been there too.  Kaidan had walked along stone slabs full of names until he found it.  Wiping dew off the plaque, he saw his own reflection looking back at him.  The name on the plaque could have been his own name or anyone’s.  It should have been Shepard’s.  He was still shocked and gratified knowing all those months holding out hope, feeling foolish and naive, in the end, he’d been right.  It was unbelievable when he heard it.  It was unbelievable now, months later.  So much time had passed now since he heard it standing on the bridge of the Normandy.  He’d stood rigid after hearing it repeating it over and over in his head, afraid to react in case the information was wrong or he was misunderstanding it.  It wasn’t until he looked over at Liara, wet trails down her face and a smile, that he let himself feel it and believe it.  Even now, Shepard was still alive out there, somewhere, doing what she loved, what she was meant to do.

Kaidan moved to the grassy embankment.  Twisty tree roots exposed from the receded water provided steps onto a worn trail in the wet grass.  Toward home.  Geese passed overhead honking.  Kaidan tried to smile and drink in the outdoors again, but he’d thought too much about Shepard now.  It was like a gloom shrouding an already hazy sun.

He didn’t want to feel this way.  He should be content with Shepard being alive and well.  He was alive and well.  His mother, sister, nieces, friends were all alive and well.  People he’d agonized over on his return flight, he’d returned to find them safe.  But it wasn’t enough.  Maybe it was a character flaw to not let it be enough.  Focusing on his own self-interest had to be controllable.  You couldn’t control a lot of things, even most things, but you could control yourself.  Perhaps controlling your head was easier than controlling your heart though.  Or maybe, he just had more practice with the other.  Hell, after this, he didn’t want any more practice again.  Ever.  He missed her.  He’d give anything to see her right now, here or anywhere, just to talk.  One time was never enough.  He sounded like an addict.

He was almost there.  A drop of water hit his forehead.  Streaks of rain only visible against the distant mountain dripped through the canopy.  He could run the rest of the way back, but the urge was gone. 

They could see each other just as friends, he and Shepard.  Here he was, telling himself this again.  It comforted only an instant, knowing it couldn’t be true.  Not for him, not now, hard to imagine ever really.   It sounded awful, cold.  Eventually, they’d be a first time when he’d see her, talk to her knowing she was with someone else.  It was inevitable.  It would kill him.  It killed him now, and it was just his imagination.  No, he couldn’t be any kind of friend feeling that way.  Too much pretending, too painful.  Seeing them together and hearing about it from her.  And if it was serious …

Kaidan ran his hands through his hair spraying droplets of rain into the air.  He clenched his eyes shut as his head started to ache.  He was working himself up over a figment.  He just need to focus on breathing.  He kept doing this to himself – agonizing over her.  Going down this path over and over again.  He needed to keep busy.  Once he got back to his biotics teams and the next assignment, then—

“Kaidan?”

Kaidan eyes snapped open. His mom picked her along the stepping stones slopping down from the house.  She was almost to him.  He’d gotten further to the house than he realized.

“Hey, Mom.”  Kaidan took wide steps up the path to her.  “What’re you doing out here?”

She pulled her coat tighter.  Rain sprinkled her salt and peppered hair.  “Just thinking, and waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me?”  He put his arm around her.

 They walked up the stone trail toward the house.  She reached up and held his hand on her shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I’m okay.  Worried about you though.  Things going all right?”

Kaidan felt sick in the bottom of his throat.  She thought he was upset about his dad.  He was, of course, he was.  Only, he thought of Shepard more.  More than his own dad.   Here he was to remember his dad for the weekend, his whole extended family here, and he was mourning more for someone still alive.  He should be focusing on his father who raised him, someone he’d never see again, than dwelling on someone he felt almost cursed to see again.  Not cursed though, no, not exactly.  Hell, it was a paradox.  He was an addict.  It was true.  Still, it had to be a healthier vice than red sand.  Hopefully.

“Why did you wait out here?  It’s freezing,” he said.

“I kept thinking you’d be back any moment.  It was nice though.  Haven’t spent much time out here since … things happened.  Fresh air, couple cups of tea, stood on the deck until I saw you coming.”

“I wasn’t gone that long.”

“Two and a half hours,” she said.  “Kate heard you leave.  Said it was still pitch dark.”

“The sun was coming up soon.”

“Hmm.”  She didn’t sound convinced.

They neared the long set of stone stairs up to the front door.  Kaidan’s mom stopped.  She twisted out from under his arm and looked him in the eye.  Kaidan’s heart beat harder.  He had to look away.

“Hey.”  She turned his face to her.  “What’s going on with you?  It’s like, since the last time I saw you, things have gotten worse.  Is everything just hitting you now, or what’s going on?”

Kaidan swallowed.  His throat felt dry.  He’d never told his parents about Shepard.  Never told anyone, even Kate.  Fraternizing with a fellow officer, especially when she’d been his CO, was bound to be unpopular.  He could still imagine what his father’s face would have looked like had he ever known – the distant, blank stare and disappointed frown.  It stung just flashing through his mind’s eye.  Stung that he’d never see it.  Never be able to tell his dad something to disappoint him.  Never be with Shepard to disappoint anyone else.

“I don’t know,” he said instead.

She frowned at him.  “Yes, you do.  But …”  She held his eye for a moment before sighing.  “Have it your way.  You always do.”

“No, I don’t.”

He supported her elbow as they worked their way up the stairs slick with dew

“I’m not a cripple, you know?” She smiled.

“They’re slippery.”

They came to the front door.  His mom paused.

“Hey, I almost forgot,” she said as Kaidan turned to her.  “Someone called for you.”

“Called for me?” He frowned.

His borrowed Omni-Tool was by his bed.  He wasn’t even sure if it was on, let alone why anyone would answer it for him.

“The house’s comm,” his mom said.

That didn’t make sense.  The Alliance knew how to reach his loaned Omni-Tool.  He should have taken it with him on his run. 

“It was an asari.”

“An asari?” Kaidan’s attention snapped to her.

“Yes.”

A brisk stride and he was at the door.

“Was her name Liara?” Kaidan pushed the open button.

“Maybe.  I wrote it down somewhere.  Doctor … oh, doctor something.  I have it …”

Kaidan rushed through the doorway as it opened but lingered at entrance for her.  She eyed him as she came forward.  He ushered her inside.  He pressed a palm to the entryway’s wall and flipped his shoes off.

“Kaidan, you’re making a mess.”  His mom pointed at the caked mud and sand scattering across the floor.  “Let me find that name.”

“Don’t worry about the name.  I’ll come back and clean this up.”  He leaped up the stairs.

“Kaidan …”

“I got it.  Thanks, Mom.”

He bounded up the stairs and cut around the corner of the landing.  He collided into Kate.

“Whoa.”  She smacked him on the shoulder.  “Holy—”  Her eyes darted to Lauren toddling out the bathroom door toward them.  “Never mind.”

“Sorry.”

“What’s the hurry?  A three-hour run on the river not enough?  Hallway’s fair game now?”

“You’re always fair game.”  He poked her as he passed.  “Hey, Feisty.”  He rustled Laruen’s blonde hair.

Her face puckered.  She snatched at his hand, but he pulled it back.

“Got to be quicker.”  He grinned.

She growled at him. 

Kaidan laughed.  “Just like you, Kate.”

“Maybe you’re the common factor there, Kaidan.”  Kate came over and gave him a sharp poke back.  “Poke him like this.”

He glanced at his room but waited.  Lauren tentatively poked his leg.

“Ah!” Kaidan said.

Lauren laughed, pulling on his hand, and poking him again and again with her other finger.

“Okay, okay.”  Kate pulled Lauren back.  “Revenge was had.  Let’s have breakfast.”

Kaidan smiled at Kate.  “Good thing you have Richard.  Your kids need a good influence.”

“You’re such an …” Her eyes flickered down to Lauren.  “Sure as _heck_ not it.”

“Yeah!” Lauren hollered pointing at him.

“Geezzz, let’s go.” Kate ushered her down the stairs.  She called back over her shoulder.  “Nice to see you smile for once.”

Kaidan dodged to his room.  It wasn’t really his room, not anymore.  He wasn’t home enough to expect anything to be his.  Now it was a guest room, which was fitting.  In a lot of ways, he was just that.  He rushed to his bed and bumped into the end table as he fumbled for his Omni-Tool.  The end table’s lamp rocked precariously.  Kaidan steadied it then put on his Omni-Tool.

Henry rolled over on the couch against the wall. 

“What the hell?” He sat up shoving off a blanket.  “Kaidan?”

“You’re still sleeping?”

“That was the aim.”  Henry rubbed his face.  “The sun just came up.”

“It’s been up.”  Kaidan popped up the Omni-Tool’s interface.

“Over China maybe.  Just came up here though, I swear.”

Kaidan shuffled to the door flipping through a screen.

“Who you calling?  A girl?”

“In a way.” 

His cousin stretched and dropped his feet on the floor.  His hair stood on end in disarray.

“Haven’t found out yet, huh?” he asked.

“An asari.”

“Oh.”  Henry stood.  “Meet a dancer?”

Kadian smirked.  “You think I go clubbing?”

Henry shrugged.  “How should I know?  Been like five years.”

“I haven’t changed _that_ much.”

Henry held up a finger.  “First lie.  Now I really can’t believe you.”  He grabbed Kaidan’s shoulder and pulled him back from the doorway.  “I’m going.  Have a nice chat.”

“You can keep sleeping.  I—”

“Nope,” Henry waved back at him as he headed down the hall.  “I smell sausage.”

Kaidan closed the door and hit the green button on the holoscreen.  He waited.  An asari lit up the screen, but it wasn’t Liara.  Kaidan blinked at her.  It was the number Liara had given him.  Maybe he’d misentered it into his contacts.  The asari cocked her head at him for a moment then looked to the side. 

“Dr. T’soni.”

Footsteps came over.  Liara’s face appeared.

“Kaidan?”

“Oh.  Hey, Liara.  Were you trying to contact me?”

Liara ushered away the other asari and settled herself in front of the screen.  “Yes.  Sorry.  Where are you calling me from?  My assistant didn’t recognize the number.”

“My Omni-Tool.”

“I tried it earlier.”

“It’s a different one.  I’m borrowing it while my other is fixed.”

Liara nodded.  “I’m sorry to have called your family’s residence.  It was listed for you, but I didn’t know …  A human child answered.  A relative, I assume?”

“Niece.”

“Right.  Then I am correct.  You’re on leave in Vancouver with your family?”

“A little outside Vancouver but essentially.”

“Good,” Liara leaned in closer.  “I need your help with something.  I didn’t want to inconvenience you too much.”

“What do you need?”

“You.”

 

* * *

 

Kaidan carried his bag down the stairs and dropped it on the landing by the front door.  Dishes clanged from the kitchen down the hallway.  Laughter mixed with Kate’s voice.  It was always so loud. 

Rebecca wandered from the great room to his left.  She looked up from her Omni-Tool.  “Oh, hey.  I’m meeting my friends downtown at nine.  Want to tag along to Vancouver?  They’re in my doctorate program.  Told ‘em I have fun cousins.  You’d like them.  Promise.”

“Maybe another time.”

Emily burst past Rebecca from the living room.  Her hair sprang out half combed and wild.

“Kaidan!”  She bumped into him and threw her arms around his legs.

“Hey.”  Kaidan bent and grabbed her under the arms.  He lifted her overhead.  “How’s it going, Em?”

“Your hair’s wet!”  She grabbed at his hair.

“I know.” He ducked out of reach.  “I took a shower.”

Rebecca grinned and returned to her Omni-Tool.  She retreated down the hall to the kitchen.

“Hey.” Kaidan set Emily down.  “You know where Grandma went?”

“Downstairs.  Getting Henry’s towel.”

Kaidan put out his hand.  She grabbed it with a goofy grin.  They walked downstairs.  The room opened out into a large living area.  A hazy light came through the patio slider and flanking windows.  In the distance, the fog bank still hid the ocean from view.  The back of Henry’s head poked above the couch facing the windows.  Emily tugged Kaidan forward.  Henry slouched across the couch studying a datapad.

“Where’s grandma?” Kaidan looked down and squeezed Emily’s hand.

“Over there.”  Emily pointed at the laundry room.

“Hey, Kaid.”  Henry sat up and turned the datapad to him.  “You seen this?”

Kaidan’s heart skipped a beat.  He let Emily’s hand drop.  She tore across the carpet to the laundry room.  His mom’s voice yelped in mock surprise from somewhere inside.

“The news article or the person?” Kaidan asked stiffly.

Henry turned it back to look.  “You worked with her, right?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s a bombshell.  I mean, really, come on.”

Kaidan’s mom hobbled out of the laundry room with a basketful of towels.  Emily hung on her arm.  His mom smiled plopping the basket on the end of the couch.

“You’re making this hard, dear.”

“I know.” Emily giggled.

Kaidan’s mom cocked her head to see Henry’s datapad.  “Commander Shepard, right?”

“She single?” Henry asked.

Kaidan crossed his arms.  “Far as I know.”

“Introduce us.” Henry grinned.  “I mean, really, give her my information some time.”

“I’m not setting you up.  Meet her yourself.”

“How’s that going to happen?  You work with her.”

“Not really.  Not anymore.”

Henry looked down at the picture on his datapad.  Kaidan squinted at it.  It wasn’t even part of a news article, just pictures, results of a picture search.

“Getting a good look?” Henry craned his neck to look up at Kaidan.  “How ‘bout it?”

Kaidan stepped back.  “You seriously want me to set you up?  You know anything else other than how she looks?”

“Uh, yeah.  She’s hot.”

“You don’t even care whether she has a good personality or anything?”

“Does she?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then.” Henry laughed.  “Case closed.”

“Kaidan!  Kaidan!” Emily skipped sideways over to him.

“Em! Em! Em!”

“Are you going to have breakfast?” She grinned at him missing a front tooth.

“Already ate.”

“Fine,” she sighed with a pout.  She motioned at his mom.  “Everyone’s already eaten.”

Kaidan’s mom pulled a towel out of the basket.  “You better go eat then.”

“Fine,” she drew out the word.

“Fine,” his mom echoed.

Emily rolled her eyes and stomped with exaggeration up the stairs.  “I’m going.”

His mom chuckled.  “Pretending to be upset gets attention.”

“So,” Henry sat up straighter waving the datapad at Kaidan, “back to this.  How do I get a piece of this hot ass?”

Kaidan ripped the datapad out of his hand.  “Show some respect.”

He slew it spinning across the glass coffee table and walked over to his mom.

“I would show her respect, Kaidan.” Henry grinned.  “I’d respect her so hard, she’d be arching her back moaning for me to stop respecting her.”

The towel dropped from his mom’s hands.  Her head snapped to the empty stairway.  Kaidan snatched the towel up and threw it at Henry’s face.

“That, what you’re waiting for?”

Henry chortled pulling it off his head.  “Kaidan, what the hell?”  Henry glanced at Kaidan’s mom and stopped with a flinch.  He looked back at Kaidan.  “Sore subject?”  He leaned over and picked up his datapad.  He grabbed the towel.  “Damn, Kaidan.  You have a thing for her?”

“You shouldn’t say that about anyone.  She saved your sorry ass and everyone else’s.”

“Kaidan.”  His mom frowned at him and nodded toward the stairs.

No one was there.  It wasn’t even much of a curse word, but she was probably right.

Henry stood and flipped the towel over his shoulder.  “Okay.  Well, guess you haven’t changed that much after all, Kaidan.  Hey,” he paused with a grin.  “Next time you see her … give her my respects, won’t you?”

He turned with a laugh and rushed to the stairs.  His feet caught, and he stumbled spilling forward onto his hands and knees.  The runner in front of the stairs scrunched up by his feet.  He twisted around sharply holding his towel against the floor with a fist.

“You do that to me, Kaidan?”

Kaidan shrugged.  “You’re just clumsy.”

“Right.”  Henry pushed himself up, his face reddening.  He gripped his towel with tight knuckles, but he didn’t say anything.  He turned and tromped up the stairs.  His footfalls muffled with each step until he was gone.

“Kaidan.  You didn’t need to do that.”

“I know I didn’t _need_ to.”  Kaidan yanked a towel out of the basket and started to fold it.

His mom paused then pulled another towel out.  “You seem upset.”

Kaidan set the folded towel on the arm of the couch and motioned at the stairs.  “He was being an ass.”

“Well, that’s Henry for you.” His mom sighed.  “You’re on edge though.  More upset than usual.”

Kaidan hesitated and finally said.  “Fine.  Yes.”

“’Fine.  Yes?’”

They folded towels in silence.  A murmur of voices and dishes came down the stairs.  Someone ran over head.  A bang.  Wailing.  Kate’s voice and rushing footsteps.  Kaidan’s mom bumped his shoulder to get his attention.

“Still stewing over it?”

“I didn’t like how he was talking about her.”

“Her?”

“Shepard.  I care about her.”

“Hmm.”

Kaidan rushed to add, “We’ve worked together a lot, had each other’s backs.  She doesn’t deserve that.  Just rubbed me the wrong way, I guess.”

He turned the towel over on his arm and set it down.  His mom studied him then nodded slowly.  She set a folded towel on top of his and touched his arm. 

“I remember how upset you were when the Normandy was destroyed.  You thought she was dead.”

“We lost a lot of crew.”

“Your dad said you were upset about Shepard.”

Kaidan reached for another towel.  His mom laid her hand on it.  “Kaidan.”  He met her eye.  “Is this what you’re upset about?  You have feelings for her?”

Kaidan’s breath caught.  “What?”

“It’s just, I know you were back on the Normandy during the war.  You’ve hardy said a thing about it.”

“A lot happened.  I’m still processing it all.”

“And that’s all?”

“I don’t know.” Kaidan shifted on his feet.

His mom eyed him.  He turned away, walked down the couch, and sat with a heavy thud.  His mom didn’t say anything and folded another towel.  Kaidan felt her eyes on him.  He hunched forward folding his hands and squinted out at the gray fog.  His mom set down the last towel and walked over.  She sank down next to him. 

“Did something happen?”

Kaidan looked over at her for along moment before looking back down.  He unfolded and refolded his hands.  Finally, he let out a long breath.

“Yes.” Kaidan closed his eyes.  “We … we were together before this.”

“The war?”

“Yes.  No.” Kaidan sighed opening his eyes. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” His mom leaned down by him.

“I meant, before the reapers were destroyed.  Before the mass relays were damaged.  After that, the crew and I were stranded on the Normandy all those months.  Shepard was here on Earth.”

“And now you’re not together?”

Kaidan dragged his hands down his face.  “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”

She put a hand on his back, “Kaidan …”

Kaidan looked over sharply.  “You know, it’s against regulations to be with another officer.”

“Even when you don’t work the same—”

“Doesn’t matter.”  He paused, then shrugged.  “Well, maybe it matters in determining the degree of reprimand.  But either way, you couldn’t carry on after being reprimanded, not without being dismissed from service.  And that’s if the initial reprimand wasn’t just to dismiss you.  Dishonorable discharge.”

“Kaidan.”

“Look.  Ultimately, it’s fine.  As it should be.”

“Does she want to be with you?”

“I—I don’t know.  She knows where I stand.”

“Which is?”

“Mom!” Kaidan sat upright.  “I shouldn’t even be talking about this stuff.  Imagine if Dad were here.  He’d be mortified.  Probably ask himself how he could raise me to do something so stupid.  It just … it didn’t matter at the time.  There wasn’t a future to worry about.”

His mom pressed her lips together and rubbed a circle on his back.

“I’m fine though.”  He pulled away.  Her hand dropped.  “I just need time to – like I said – process this.”

“Kaidan …”

Footsteps reverberated down the stairs.  Kate’s voice.

“Kaidan, what’s with the bags?  You—”

His mom looked back at her sharply.  Kaidan fixed his eyes ahead on the window.  He watched his mom out of the side of his eye.  At least, she wasn’t mouthing anything.  Her lips twisted as she gave Kate a nod.

“Grandma?” Maddy’s voice came from above.

Little footsteps tapped down the stairs.  Kaidan straightened, took a breath, and turned to the stairs.  Kate already had her back to them looking up the stairs.  Small red galoshes peeked from the top of the doorway.  Kate made an ushering motion and moved up the stairs.

“Maddy, come help me with something.” Kate’s voice faded out.

The upstairs’ door closed.  His mom turned back and touched his knee.

“Kaidan, hey.  Look at me.  You know, your dad and I are … were …” She took a breath.

“Mom.” Kaidan put an arm around her.

She smiled.  “We were and are proud of you, you know.”

“I know.”

“But, you know why?”

“Of course.”

“It’s not just your service.”

“I know that, Mom.”

“We are proud of you for the man you’ve become.  Yes, we --- okay, especially your dad – were proud when you joined.  We’re proud of each commendation, each promotion.   Proud of what you did on the Citadel.  He’d be proud of what you did in the war, being a Spectre.  But …”  She twisted to really look at him.  “But … we’re more proud of who you are.  Who you’ve become.  Your dad was more proud of how responsible and kind and good you are than all the promotions and commendations you could ever earn.  If we were proud of those, it was because it represented the person you were becoming.  That’s what made him proud and me too.”

Kaidan squeezed her shoulder.  “Thanks, Mom.  That means a lot.”

“And forget what Henry said.”  She rolled her glistening eyes.

“Already have.” Kaidan handed her the tissue box off the table.  “If Shepard was here, she’d kick his ass all the way to the Terminus System.  Makes me feel better just thinking about it.”

“Careful.”  His mom glanced backward.  “The kids.”

“The door’s closed.  Besides, they live with Kate.  They’re already screwed.”

“Kaidan.”  She shook her head and plucked a Kleenex out.

Kaidan set the box back.  He kissed her forehead and stood up. 

“I have to go.”

“What do you mean?” She frowned.  “You’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

“I need to leave now.  I’m sorry.”

She stood up.  “Why?  It was that call earlier?”

“I’m needed back at Alliance Headquarters in Vancouver.”

“You could come back for the night.”

“It’s not worth it.  I needed to leave early anyway.  I have a few things to wrap up at Headquarters before we deploy.  This just gives me more time.”

“Fine.”  She pulled him into a hug. “How long this time?”

“Few months maybe, then something longer.  I’ll be back on leave before that though.”

“But I won’t hear from you until then?”

“Probably not,” he conceded and pulled away.  “I’ll go say good bye.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 2**

The Vancouver’s familiar cityscape closed in around Kaidan’s shuttle.  So much destruction, but parts were being rebuilt.  It was still beautiful.  The datapad in his hand beeped and a little blinked in the corner.  The shuttle pilot glanced back at him before turning back to the city.  There were a lot of messages to catch up on.  One weekend on leave, and you came back to a mountain of reports and correspondence.  He needed to get a lot in order before hist shuttle to Tokyo.  He’d been crazy thinking he’d get it all done the morning before his flight.  Fortuitous really, in the end, that Liara had contacted him.

The bay spread with a gray sheen out on Kaidan’s right.  They were nearing headquarters.  Kadian punched up another message in the string of unopened.  Another intelligence update on the Scorpion.  More rumors of something big, some strike, in the works.  Kaidan’s throat became dry.  If they only knew what Terra Firma was planning.  Restoration of the relays was shortening the time table.  They’d strike before the alien’s left.  Kaidan just had to push harder, follow the right leads, map it out but follow his gut.  All the activity in Tokyo, they were bound to find something.  His marines were up for it.

He went to the next message.  The Shields, an anti-human turien group, had struck the Alliance Weapons Reserve in Toronto.  Nine soldier’s dead, missing supplies, two incendiary warheads, one nuclear warhead.  Kaidan’s eyebrows drew together.  The nuclear warhead sounded massive.  Maybe the Shield planned to use it against Terra Firma, but your enemy’s enemy being your friend didn’t seem to work with terrorists.  The Shield would probably destroy any number of lives to take out even a small sect of Terra Firma operatives.  This was big news.  His mind raced.  This wasn’t helping his headache, and he took a deep breath.  This one wasn’t for him to fix. 

He had to focus on Terra Firma and the Scorpion.  If Cerberus could unravel with the illusive Man’s death, removing the Scorpion may be the key in defusing Terra Firma and its Cerberus defects.  They just had to follow the affiliates they’d identified in civilian and Alliance roles.  He’d follow the leads in Tokyo, watch the targets.  If they did something catastrophic under monitoring though … the thought chilled him.  Even if it was something small, one innocent death, it would be too much.  Letting all these operatives roam free hoping they’d lead to the Scorpion kept him up at night.  They were hard decisions, but all worth it if they could find the head.  Terra Firma undoubtably had more in the works than the final set piece.

His mind always turned to Shepard.  She was a huge target, maybe topped their list.  Kaidan lowered the datapad in his lap and leaned his head back.  She was right.  She was too high profile to not have every misstep scrutinized and used against her.  If they had continued … He was an idiot to have gone to her room.  They could be embroiled in an overblown, very publicized court martial right now.  It would be a smear campaign, detracting and undermining what she stood for, diverting away from her message at the Summit.  News vids, crowds, and the public eye suddenly confronted with her humanness and fallibility.  Then, if she died, maybe she wasn’t a martyr stirring up an outraged public lash back.  She would just be a person, a celebrity, someone in the gossip rags, not the icon championing unity, even to the point of assassination.  No, it was good she’d cut it off.  Wise.  Wiser than him.  But he loved her, and it still hurt.

The shuttle slowed and lowered onto one of landing platform.  Kaidan powered off the datapad and shoved it into his bag.  The pilot was one of Liara’s people.  Kaidan thanked him and climbed out the shuttle door.  A blast of cold, wet air off the ocean hit him.  He crossed the landing pad with puddles sloshing under his feet.  A glass door speckled with rain droplets slid apart, and he entered.  The pilot had chosen an out of the way landing pad at the HQ complex, but there were crowds no matter where you came in.  The crowd engulfed him.  Some turiens and a couple of quarians slipped around him headed opposite directions.  There were a lot more aliens here than usual.  The Summit was getting close.  Kaidan need to find Rear Admiral Tack to see about--  He stopped short.

“Liara?”

She dashed between two asaris arguing in the middle of the hall.  She looked right at Kaidan taking long, fast steps.

“What’s going on?” He moved to meet her.

“Kaidan, you came.”

“Of course.  You sent the—”

“You’re later than I hoped.”

Kaidan frowned.  “I’m sorry.  I took my time leaving.  I didn’t realize … You didn’t let on it was urgent.”

“It is.  Come one.”  She darted down the hall.

Kaidan hefted his bag and rushed after her.

“You can leave that with my assistant.”  Liara glanced back.

The bag lifted off his shoulder from behind.  It was the same asari who had answered the call.  She nodded encouragingly, and Kaidan let go of the bag.  When he turned back to the hall, Liara was already disappearing around the corner.  She paused enough to catching his eye before she pushed on down the next hall and out of sight.  Kaidan cursed and dodged through the crowd to catch up.  A few people lowered their datapads and frowned at him.  There she was – ahead but close.  He edged along the wall out of the flow of traffic and pushed forward with long, quick strides.

“Where are we going?” he asked catching up to her.

“To the Alliance leadership offices.  Then, the Council, if that doesn’t work.”

“What doesn’t work?”

Liara cut left down another hallway.  The HQ/Council building was a bustling city itself.  She steered them into the commercial sections.  Gift shops, arcades, and cafes spread out around them.  People buzzed between stalls yelling, laughing, some standing in the middle of foot traffic chatting with each other or into their Omni-Tools.  Streams of people rushed in from skycar platforms along the side.

“Liara.”  Kaidan grabbed her shoulder and stopped.

A turien stumbled against them.  Kaidan apologized and pulled Liara out of the flow of traffic.  A peddler holding flashing visors came toward them with a smile.  His feet faltered, smile falling, as he slowed then steered away.  Liara glared after him and turned to Kaidan.

“Liara, come on.  You need to tell me what’s going on.”

A couple of quarians brushed against them.  Kaidan leaned in closer to the wall.

“We need to go, Kaidan.  It already took too long for you to arrive.”

“Look, Liara.  I apologized, but if you’d let on for a moment it was this dire …”

“It’s the Normandy.”

Kaidan’s chest tightened.  Someone stumbled into them.  Kaidan didn’t even care.

“What?”

“A distress signal was heard.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Kaidan—”

“Liara!  If you had told me …”

She grabbed his arm.  “Listen to me.  We need to get to the Alliance offices.  Now.”

“Fine.  Let’s go.”

They plunged back into the crowd.  Kaidan pushed through people, looping around benched, and flagging away vendors that jumped in front of them.  Kaidan grabbed Liara’s wrist as they wedged through a bottle neck of people waiting in line for a skycar.

“We shouldn’t have come this way,” he muttered pressing through the tight bodies.

“It’s the fastest way.” She stumbled as they popped out the dense crowd.

Kaidan turned down a hallway off to the side and left the commons.  Windows lined the wall across from elevators and doorways.  It had fewer people, and they could finally breath.  Kaidan hung back a little until Liara came abreast.

“Kaidan, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.  I thought if I told you then, by the time you arrived, you would be sick with worry.”

“I appreciate that, but you should have told me.”

“I … I realized that now.”

“I would have come right away.”

“I know.  I didn’t realize—”

“It’s all right.”

Kaidan indicated left with a tilt of his head, and they rounded a corner down a residential hallway.

“Why didn’t you have the pilot drop me off near the offices?”

“Because I didn’t want them to see you.”

His face scrunched.  He glanced over at her.

“What?  Why?”

“It’s better if they don’t have answers prepared.  I thought they may try to delay you if they saw you arrive.  The landing pads there are watched.  Who comes and goes is quick knowledge to anyone paying attention and cares.”

“And who is it that cares exactly?”

“I don’t know that.”

Kaidan slowed.  “We’re almost there, Liara.  Tell me what happened.”

“I only know that a signal from the Normandy’s distress beacon was picked up by a ship that docked at Gagarin Station.  The information was forwarded on to Alliance Command, but that’s where it stops.  The Council seems unaware, and they’ve lost communication with the Normandy.”

“How long since the signal was picked up?”

“I don’t know for certain.  Twenty hours since Gagarin alerted the Alliance.  But, Kaidan …”

“What?” He frowned over at her as they slid around a group of Alliance soldiers.

“The Council is investigating something.  I don’t know for sure, but they uncovered messages.”

“Messages?”

“Sent through the quantum communicator, embedded in the static transmission signals.  Communication not with the Council.  Someone’s been accessing their systems for pickup and delivery of messages.  Over weeks.”

Kaidan just grunted and speed up his pace.  His run along the river was nothing compared to this drive through headquarters.  His chest throbbed.  Liara looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

“No one can access that part of the Normandy’s quantum comm systems.”

“A hacker could,” Kaidan said.

“No.  It’s hardened.  Multiple firewalls, fail safes, encoding, and verification through Council comm offices.”

“Meaning?”

“The person embedding those messages, it would have to be a Spectre.”

Kaidan stopped.  “Shepard didn’t go rogue.”

“I know that.  You know that.  But the Council has some pieces and the Alliance has the other.  No one’s talking.  As an Alliance soldier and Spectre, you can get more than I’ve been able to find.”

Kaidan plunged down the hall.  As they neared brighter lights, the hallway opened into a large glass room with tall entryway doors on the side, the grand entrance to HQ.  Potted plants and gray walls enveloped them.  Alliance leadership offices and parliament stood directly across the room in its own wing.  Guards waited at the entrance with folded arms and eyes roaming the HQ entry hall.

“I’ll wait here,” Liara said.

Kaidan nodded and hurried across the room.  The afternoon sun was already setting over the ocean.  Gray light shined straight through the windows into the already overly florescent entrance hall.  Kaidan squinted as the glare sharpened the throbbing pain in his head.  He came up to the two Alliance guards standing over a desk at the hallway entrance.  Kaidan showed his Alliance ID and moved around them.  A guard put out his arm.

“Sorry, Major.  We need to wait for clearance first.”

Kaidan took a step back.  “That should take seconds.”

“Slow system today.”

Liara lingered against the glass on the other side of the entry hall.  She folded her arms pressing fingertips to her lips and started pacing.  Kaidan glanced over his shoulder, and she frowned at him with a head shake. 

Kaidan turned back to the desk.  “Ready now?”

“Sorry, Major.”  The guard tapped his Omni-Tool screen.  “System problems here.”

Kaidan pushed past them saying a string of numbers and letters.  The guard touched the riffle strapped over his chest.

“Hey.  You can’t—”

“That’s my Spectre ID number.”

“We’ll have to verify that.”

“Go ahead, but I’m going into the offices.”

“But …”

Kaidan trotted down the marbled hall.  The guards didn’t follow or shoot him in the back, so it was a good start.  Kaidan cut sharp down his first right.  A couple of soldiers, looked like a captain and major maybe, wandered down the hall in conversation.  They straightened seeing him rush toward them.  Kaidan returned the salute and hurried past.  Finally, he found the door he was looking for. It slid open to a carpeted reception ahead.  A jet-colored A-line twisted to look at him with widening eyes.  She stood up from her desk.

“Excuse me.  You—”

“I’m going in.” Kaidan held up a hand as he passed the desk.

“Hey!” The woman stumbled around the desk.

Kaidan punched the button on the door.  Admiral Hackett pushed up from his desk with a deep frown.

“Major, what’s going on?”

The assistant’s boots tapped up to the doorway beside Kaidan.

“It’s fine.”  Hackett nodded at her.

Kaidan stepped into Hackett’s office.  He let the doors close before speaking.

“Sorry, Admiral.  If it wasn’t important—”

“It damn well better be, Alenko.”

Hackett charged around the desk to face him.  He set his jaw with hard eyes.  Kaidan nearly flinched.

“Sir, I got information the Normandy was in distress, but no efforts are underway to investigate it.”

Hackett stared at him.  “What are you talking about?  Where did you hear this?”

“My source is reliable.  The distress call came through Gagarin Station passed on from a docking ship.”

Hackett turned and paced to his desk in thought.  “I can’t believe that’s true.  I haven’t heard anything like that.”

“Sir, if Gagarin relayed that information to Alliance headquarters, where would it go?”

“I suppose, to Commander Shepard’s supervising officer who’s overseeing the mission.”

“Then you—”

“Not me.  She’s under Admiral Wilson.”

Kaidan stopped short.  His brow wrinkled, and he glanced over his shoulder at the office door.  He turned back and met Admiral Hackett’s eye.

“Then, Admiral, may I be excused?”

“So you can burst in on him next, I suppose, Alenko?”

Kaidan hesitated. “Yes.  Admiral,” he said.

Admiral Hackett raised his eyebrows.  He turned away with a sigh and waved Kaidan off.

“Second door to your right.  This could have repercussions for you.”

Kaidan backed up.  “Thank you, sir.”  He punched the door’s open button and then paused.  He looked back suddenly.  “And, I’m sorry, Admiral.”

“You’d better go.” Admiral Hackett waved him off again, sat down, and punched up the screen on his computer.  “Let me look into this too.”

Kaidan rushed down the hallway and turned at the second door to his right.  This time the assistant was up from his desk talking to a well-manicured man with deep set eyes. The assistant well-teased hair bounced as he tossed his head around to see the intruder.  He put his hands on his hips and gave Kaidan a dimpled smirk. The man talking to the assistant stopped mid-sentencing assessing Kaidan with a burn to his eyes.  His eyes followed Kaidan as he edged around the man.  Wait, that uniform.  Kaidan stopped at the admiral’s office door and backtracked on his heels. 

“Admiral Wilson?”

The man’s sizzling eyes narrowed.  “And you are …?”

“Major Kaidan Alenko.”

Kaidan saluted him.  Wilson stared at him for a hard moment before returning a quick, abbreviated salute.

“Did you have an appointment to see me, Major?”

“No, sir.”

“I assume that’s why came tearing through here on your way to my office and not stopping to consult with my assistant first?”

Kaidan swallowed but tried to stand straight under the withering stare.  This was Shepard’s supervising officer?  Damn.  The assistant sauntered to his desk.  He raised an eyebrow at Kaidan as a corner of his lip curled up.

“Well?” Wilson demanded.

Kaidan snapped his attention back to the admiral.

“Yes, sir.  I need to talk to you.”

“Mirrez will help you make an appointment.”

Wilson stepped to his office door.

“Admiral …”

“Appointment!” Wilson whipped around and held up a finger.  “Your insubordinate manner here is—”

“Let’s talk about the Normandy.”

Wilson stared at him.  He glanced at his assistant before turning back to Kaidan and straightening his shoulders. 

“Who the hell are you?”

“Please, Admiral …”

“Very well.”  Admiral Wilson turned to his assistant.  “Mirrez, hold any appointments.”  He eyed Kaidan.  “This won’t take very long.”

The door opened to Wilson’s office, and he waved Kaidan inside.

“Take a seat,” Wilson said as the door closed.

Kaidan walked to one of the chairs in front of Wilson’s desk, but Admiral Wilson stayed standing in front of the closed doors with crossed his arms.  Apparently, he wasn’t planning on moving into the room any further.

“Sit.”  He motioned again.

Kaidan held his eye.  It was probably best not to antagonize him any more than needed.  Wilson would only dig in his heels in deeper if Kaidan made it into a power play.  Kaidan turned the chair around and sat.

“Now, what is so pressing that you charged in here?  I don’t even know who the hell you are.  If you were one of my direct subordinates, you’d be on lap one out of a hundred around this building.  You say you’re a major.  I can’t imagine how.”

Best to just get the dressing down out of the way. 

“I’m sorry, sir,” Kaidan said.  “I recognize this is a little rash.”

The admiral glared hard at him.  Kaidan keep his eyes down.  He studied his hands waiting under the heat of Wilson’s glare.  The admiral came forward with arms still crossed and loomed over Kaidan for a few seconds.  Finally, he dropped his arms and moved to the side of his desk.

“What do you want?” he snapped.

Kaidan raised his head.

“Sir, the Normandy—”

“Is none of your concern, Major.”

“I was told a distress signal from the Normandy was heard by a ship docking at Gagarin.”

“You believe everything you hear, Major?”

Any other time, that might have made Kaidan grin.  Of course, he believed everything he heard.  Additionally, if all his friends jumped off a cliff, he would too.  Wilson nudged a lamp over and sat partway on the corner of his desk.  He stared at Kaidan.

“No, sir,” Kaidan said.

“Then you’re wasting my time.”

“Admiral, you’re telling me a recent distress signal was _not_ relayed through Gagarin Station?”

“I’m telling you, Major, you’re wasting my time.”

“But, sir, you’re not answering my question.  That’s all I want to know, then I’ll go.”

Wilson shot to his feet and slammed a fist on the desk.  The lamp wobbled and a picture frame fell face.  A datapad rolled over a few loose pens and crashed on the floor.  Kaidan squinted at the bottom of the tipped-over picture frame.  Wilson stepped in front of him and filled his vision.  He leaned down gripping the chair’s arm rests and put his face even with Kaidan’s.  Kaidan frowned.  He tried to look around him at the picture frame again, but Wilson snapped a finger in his face.

“The Normandy’s mission and happenings under my command are none of your concern.  Your asking about it is out of line, Soldier.  This entire encounter has been unseemly, unprofessional, and highly inappropriate.”

Wilson shoved off the armrest and looked down on Kaidan.

“That mission and everything associated with it is classified.”

Kaidan’s eyes shot back to the picture frame.  Yes, there it was on the bottom of the frame.

“Get out.”  Admiral Wilson strode to the door expectantly.  “Immediately, Major.”

Kaidan lifted himself out of the chair.  He hovered over the desk and pulled a thin silver disk off the bottom of the picture frame.  It was the size of a finger print, and Kaidan turned it over in his hand.

“I will escalate this,” Wilson said.

“I’ll leave.” Kaidan turned curling his fist around the disk and stuffing it in his pocket.

“Now, Alenko.”

Admiral Wilson drew himself taller and waited as Kaidan drew near.  The door’s open button glowed, and Wilson moved to push it.  Kaidan put a hand out and blocked him.  Wilson’s eyes strained wide with fire, red rising up his neck, and his mouth opened.  Kaidan rushed to speak.

“As an Alliance soldier, Admiral, I will dutifully leave, but as a Spectre …” Admiral Wilson’s face hardened, eyes sharpening with an icy glint.  Kaidan swallowed.  A faded spot grew on the left side of his peripheral vision, a migraine aura.  He’d better hurry.  Kaidan tried to keep his voice strong.  “As a Spectre, I will respectfully have to decline and request to see those classified files.”

Admiral Wilson’s Adam’s apple moved.  “I’m afraid—”

“No.” Kaidan took a step toward him.  He kept his voice low and even.  “I will see those files, Admiral.”

Wilson raised his head high.  “I’m afraid there will be red tape to process that request.  Once clearance—”

“No.  Give me access now.”

“Impossible.  The forms—”

“I will fill them all out afterward.  You have my word.”

Admiral Wilson glanced between the desk and his door.  He crossed his arms and looked at Kaidan.

“How do I even know you’re a Spectre?”

“You’re only asking now?” Kaidan said.  “You know who I am, clearly you do.  You would’ve said something straight off otherwise, not waited until now.”

“I was too shocked by such a preposterous assertion.  We only have one human Spectre that I remember.  This will need—”

“You know there are two, Shepard and me.  That information went out to everyone.  You’re here on Earth, communication’s reestablished, there’s no reason you wouldn’t know that.”  Kaidan turned on his Omni-Tool.  “Give me access, or I’ll have you detained by the Council and questioned.”

Kaidan was pretty sure he could do that.  The dawning horror on Admiral Wilson’s face validated it.  Kaidan was a Spectre, of course, he could detain him.  Granted, the fallout from such an action could be a nightmare.  He may never live it down -- arresting an Alliance admiral all for digging in his heels when he wanted the proper forms filled out.  If those forms were real, Wilson probably didn’t really know anything about them.  Refusing to hand over information to a Spectre, it should be good enough grounds.

“Fine,” Wilson snapped.

He shoved around Kaidan and brought up the holodisplay on his desk.  Kaidan hung over his shoulder as Wilson moved screens and punched in a code.  Finally, he stepped back and waved a hand out at the terminal.  Kaidan bent down touching the screen and scrolled through some windows.  He looked back at Admiral Wilson.

“Give me the master key to this terminal.”

“There’s no need—”

“Right now.  Any more delays, and I will summon someone from the Council to collect you.  Then I will hack this computer myself and get the information anyway.”

Wilson’s arm pushed Kaidan aside, and he brought up the input screen himself.  A cursor blinked as Wilson reached for the keyboard.  Kaidan grabbed his arm and pushed him back from the terminal.

“Not what I meant.  Don’t punch it in, tell it to me.”

Wilson’s nostrils flared, and he hesitated.  Kaidan turned on his Omni-Tool.  Wilson blurted out a string of numbers.  Kaidan typed it in.  The screen accepted it.

“Why don’t you pull up a chair.”  Kaidan motioned at him.

“Why?”

Kaidan sat in the leather desk chair and pulled the desk’s terminal closer.

“I have your master key.  I have no reason to not want you sitting in a detention cell.”

Wilson stormed around the desk, grabbed a chair, and drug it around.  The chair slapped onto the floor directly behind Kaidan.  He sat down.  A chill ran up the back of Kaidan’s neck as he tried to concentrate.  If the admiral didn’t want arrested for just withholding information, then he wouldn’t be keen to get involved in a murder investigation.  Hard to pass off shooting someone in the back of the head as self-defense.  Still …

Kaidan right the picture frame and angled it to catch Admiral Wilson’s reflection.  Wilson’s firry face superimposed a picture of a young man in dress blues receiving a medal on his lapel.  Admiral Wilson himself no doubt.  Fitting.  For a moment when Kaidan righted the picture, he’d been afraid he’d see pigtailed twins hugging a puppy or something.  Would have made Kaidan feel bad.  This though? Damn.  He kept a picture of himself on his desk. 

“Navy star?” Kaidan asked.

Wilson’s reflection shifted his eyes to the picture frame. 

“Solitaire Medal.”

Solitaire medal?  Shepard had one for Akuz where her unit had been wiped out.  Kaidan’s fingers paused on the screen, and he looked over at the picture.  No, he needed to focus.  The chair creaked behind Kaidan as Wilson shifted forward watching the holoscreen.  Kaidan picked up a datapad laying next to his feet and shoved it at Admiral Wilson.  Wilson took it with a frown and slow movement.

“Write down all your passwords, ID codes, anything you remember.”

“You have the master passcode.”

Kaidan turned back to the holodisplay.  “You know that doesn’t get me everywhere.”

Kaidan flipped through Wilson’s files and pulled up a search field.  He typed in “Normandy.”  Nothing.  “Shepard.”  Nothing.

“What’s the case number for the Normandy’s mission to Elliom?”

“Elliom?  How do you know about that?” Wilson hunched forward.

“Give it to me.  I’ll find it eventually either way,” Kaidan said.

Wilson bit off each number as he said it.  His reflection rocked back in his chair, arms folded, and fumed.

“I want ten passcodes listed on that datapad before I’m done or … well, you know.”

With a hiss, Wilson turned on the datapad.  Kaidan typed the case number into the search field.  Rows of files and reports filled the screen, and Kaidan sorted by date.  The datapad lowered in Wilson’s hand as watched over Kaidan’s shoulder.  A file with a date and time stamp of the night before made Kaidan scooted forward in his chair.  Wilson’s reflection shot up straight and tapped his fingers erratically on the chair’s armrest.  He strained his neck to see the screen.  Finally, the admiral was being helpful.  Not intentionally, but still helpful.  Obviously, there was something here.

Kaidan clicked on the file and opened up a page of documents.  Everything on this computer could be valuable.  Nothing said Kaidan couldn’t confiscate an admiral’s computer, but there’d probably be more blowback from the Alliance than he wanted to deal with.  Kaidan pulled a data transfer interface and turned on his Omni-Tool.  A bar glowed showing the data transfer’s progress.  Kaidan scrolled through the files coming across his Omni-Tool.  The information was coming through all right.

He swiveled to face Wilson.  Wilson sat back in his chair looking out the window dim with twilight.  Kaidan snatched away the datapad.  Wilson jumped.

“Three is not ten.”  Kaidan handed it back and stood.

Wilson shrugged and dropped it with a thud on the floor by his chair.  Kaidan’s finger moved around the screen of his Omni-Tool as he walked to the office door.  The assistant’s head snapped up from playing around on his flashy-looking Omni-Tool.  His eyes widened as he took in Kaidan and looked past at Wilson.

“Admiral?” he said.

“He’s okay,” Kaidan said leaning against the open doorway.

He scrolled around on his Omni-Tool.  Sent.  Sent.  Sent.  The admiral’s chair creaked as he leaned forward to see past Kaidan to the main door.  Wilson rubbed his neck as his face fell with each passing minute Kaidan didn’t leave.  A pair of footsteps echoed up to the reception room’s door.  Kaidan stood away from the doorframe as the doors slid apart.  His headache sharpened with the movement.

“Major Alenko.”

“Commander Bailey.”

Bailey and a reedy looking C-Sec officer came in.  Wilson’s assistant jumped up from his seat and put a hand on his hip.

“What’s this?”  He whirled his head to Kaidan and pursed his lips. 

“That him?” Bailey pointed into the office. 

Wilson melted into his chair.  Kaidan nodded.

“Yes.  I know it will cause a stir.”

“I’d say.” Bailey chuckled then shrugged.  “Okay.  After you, Yake.”

“I’ll follow up in a few hours.  Until then, blame me,” Kaidan said.

Bailey barked a laugh.  “Better believe I will.”

“Take the back halls out,” Kaidan said.  “No need to parade him through the main entrance.  I need to go.”

Kaidan strode to the reception room’s door.  The assistant cocked his head following Kaidan with a pointed, bug-eyed stare.

“Better reschedule his appointments,” Kaidan said and passed through the door.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 3**

Admiral Hackett strode briskly up the hallway with a hard cast to his face.  His eyes fixed on Kaidan.  Wilson’s office door close behind him.  He braced himself.

“Sir.”

“Major, just read the file you sent.  Well, skimmed.  Let’s go.”

He motioned for Kaidan to follow and turned on his heel going back the way he’d just come.  Kaidan caught up with him, and Hackett glanced over.

“I wasn’t finding much, then caught the right person in the messaging center.  He worked last night, said a message came through from Gagarin.  It went straight to Wilson.  He told the technician to reply back to the station saying the beacon transmission was an error, dismiss it.  Between Wilson and the technician, I don’t think anyone else knew about it.  How did you know?”

“Someone on Gagarin knew, and someone on the ship that docked.”

Hackett frowned.  “Still, how did you … well, it doesn’t matter.  I got your email right after I heard from the message center’s technician.  Where else did you send those files?”

“The Councilors.”

“All of them?”

Kaidan nodded.  “It was a Council mission, correct?”

“A joint mission, yes.”  Admiral Wilson eyed him.  “You seem very well informed, Major.”

“I just read several of the admiral’s files.  They—”

“You were informed before that.” 

Hackett stared straight ahead with a tense jaw.  They walked in silence finally coming around the corner into the main marbled hallway of the leadership wing.  The aura was long gone, but now the deep sharp pounding was starting to deepen.  A slender figure sitting by the dark windows across the entry hall stood up at seeing them.  Admiral Hackett slowed and put an arm out in front of Kaidan.  It brought Kaidan to a stumbling stop.  He stepped back meeting the admiral’s eye.  Hackett glanced around them.  The sun down and evening closing in, the halls spread out emptily, except for the two guards ahead of them at the entrance desk.

“Alenko …” Hackett sighed and rubbing a hand along his jaw.  He straightened and met Kaidan’s eye.  “I’m going to be honest with you.  Off the record.”

Kaidan crossed his arms but didn’t look away.  “All right.”

“Everyone knows -- the Alliance Parliament, Council leaders -- the rumors.  What I’m saying is this – this is going to be too personal.”

“I’m the other Spectre.”

“Human Spectre.  There are other Spectres.”

Kaidan shrugged but gave a nod.  Hackett studied him.

“You need to let them handle this.  Wait.” Hackett held up a hand to stop Kaidan from speaking.  “I’m talking about when the time comes. Not this instant, but the time will come.”

Kaidan strained to keep his eyes focused over the drubbing in his head.  He gave another firm node.  “We should … the Council …”

Hackett put his hand up again.  “Last thing.  Listen, Alenko … Kaidan.” 

Kaidan flinched, chest fluttering.  Oh no.

“Just listen to me.”  He put a hand on Kaidan’s arm.  “This is off the record.  Don’t look so terrified.  You have to know that I know, right?  You do know what I’m talking about right now?”

Hackett waited.  Kaidan touched his temple, clammy and pulsing.  Liara paced in the distance.  Kaidan’s eyes shifted back to the admiral, and he dropped his hand.

“Yes.”

Hackett nodded and held his eye.  “I am telling you now as someone with some perspective on the Alliance Parliament, the leadership.  If that isn’t ended—”

“It is.”

Hackett paused.  Kaidan’s eyes dropped. 

“Then, good.  Keep it that way. Don’t let it look otherwise.  That warning isn’t from me.  I just want to look out for you, both of you.  You’re fine soldiers, some of our best.  I imagine in a few decades, both of you will have earned your way into some of the highest positions in the Alliance.  Don’t throw everything away.  You’re a careful person, Kaidan.  I’ve seen this about you.  Be careful about this as much as you have ever been.  They’re watching.”

Hackett caught his eye.  He held it for a moment and then turned down the hall toward the entrance hall.  Kaidan’s throat tasted like bile.  Hell, he felt sick.  He shuffled after the admiral.  His whole body throbbed with pressure in his head.  His thoughts, everything, was becoming disjointed.

“Come on, Major.”  Hackett slowed for Kaidan to walk alongside him.  “Take some time before we get to the Council Chamber.  I know what I said shook you.”

Kaidan clamped down on his breathing and tried to concentrate.  He put a hand on his forehead again – burning, slick, pulsing.  Pain shot branching and bursting through his skull.  He stumbled.  Hackett frowned and opened his mouth to say something.

“I get headaches.  I just – I’m fine,” Kaidan said.  “Sorry, Admiral.”

“It’s okay,” Hackett said slowly then licked his lips.  “Just, take a break.  The Councilors need to convene.  It will take a while to gather everyone and get up to speed.  I’ll just meet you there.”

He patted Kaidan’s arm and left.  Hackett raised a hand to the guards and continued across the glass entrance area.  Liara had crossed the entrance hall and paced just beyond the desk.  She watched Hackett pass and stood on the balls of her feet to look down the hall at Kaidan.  Kaidan just needed to concentrate on breathing.  Pain split through his head even down into his jaw.  He closed his eyes for a moment and held his forehead as it throbbed.  He should take something, but Liara’s assistant had his bags.

The light fluoresced fast and flickering.  Everything swirled unsteadily around him as the world shifted between sharp and blurry.  Liara paced swinging her arms but stopped when she saw him looking at her.  She glanced sideways at the two guards as they leaned together grinning at her. She turning back to Kaidan and raised a hand to beckon him.

He should have told her not to wait.  Told her he’d find her afterward.  But she probably wouldn’t have gone.  It would have wasted time even proposing it.  Hell, he was putting it off.  He couldn’t just linger here forever.  Boots echoed somewhere in a distant hall behind him, but it was enough to finally move Kaidan stumbling forward.  Liara met him at the end of the hallway.

“By the goddess …”

“I have a migraine.”

“By the goddess,” she repeated.  “Here, here.”

She drew something from her pocket and shoved it into his hand.  He stared at his palm as two green capsules rolled together.  How did she … It didn’t matter.  Kaidan tossed them in his mouth and swallowed.  The room burned so bright and hot.  The tall glass doors of the entry hall loomed on his right.  He staggered as he cut toward them.  He’d never actually gone through the official HQ entrance.  The two-story glass and metal panels slid apart as Liara hovered at his side.  They passed through another set of sliding doors and went outside.

A cold wind off the ocean stung his face scented with rain and asphalt.  Mist sprinkled in the darkness.  Overhead lights lining the wide cement staircase spilled a thin, pale light, and in the distance below, the city glinted mutely with moving skycars and glass skyscrapers.  Even with the glare of the entry hall behind them, this was a relief. 

Kaidan staggered sideways down the steps.  He fumbled for the waist-high edge of a long stone planter box.  Ivy draped the trunks of maple tree and spilled over the planter’s rim.  It caught in his fingers as his hand slid along the smooth, cool stone rounding the corner.  The city spread out below with the florescent windows to his back behind the planter’s trees.  He slid his back down the damp stone and sank into the shadows.  The stairs stood empty in the dark drizzle. Everyone was probably home or headed that way. 

He buried his face in his hands and just breathed.  Liara stepped over him and slid down next to him.  His left side warmed as she sat against him.  She didn’t say anything.  For all her presumably anxious waiting, she sat silent now.  He listened to her breathing – calm, slow.  He tried to match it.  Rain sprinkled softly making small taps on the cement.  Time passed as he just breathed and listened to the rain. 

After a while, he lowered his hands.  He cracked his eyes open and took slow, deep breaths.  He turned to Liara.  She reached over and took his left hand in hers.  Water droplets fringed her eyelashes and beaded down her face.

 “I’m feeling better,” he said.

She gave a small smile.  “A bad one?”

“Yeah.”

It still hurt like hell, but less sharp, more of a deep throbbing.  His thoughts still felt jumbled, and now he felt tired from the medicine too.  Focusing on anything too deep was going to be useless, but things were starting to make sense again and he could make decisions instead of just reacting.  He drew in a deep breath of misty air. 

“What happened?  You were gone a very long time,” Liara said.

With as few words as he could, he told her about Admiral Wilson – the evasiveness, his ordering Kaidan out of his office, and Kaidan considering whether to push harder or go back to Hackett.  The story felt disjointed in translation, but she seemed to follow it well enough.

“Liara, I saw it.  Bottom of a picture frame on his desk.  This.” 

Kaidan held up the thin metal disk from his pocket.

  Liara took it from him and turned it over in her fingers.  “Surveillance equipment, but this is unique, so thin.  This marking on the inside.  You knew what it was?”

“Yeah.” Kaidan swallowed and dropped his head back against the stone.  “Seen it dozens of times.  Find them hidden on Terra Firma operatives or their targets.  Information probably goes straight to the Scorpion.”

“The Scorpion?  That’s an animal here on Earth?”

“Yes, but code name for Terra Firma’s leader.  Their cells were disorganized.  This person, whoever it is, appeared a year ago.  Keeps tight reins on the panel of leaders.  We’ve found that listening technology on higher level Terra Firma leaders.  Being monitored, didn’t even know it.”

Liara looked down at the disk.  “That’s what I would do too.  The ones right under you are the biggest threat.  To stay on top, you have to be a step ahead.”  Kaidan regarded her out of the corner of his eye.  She looked up.  “How do you know they weren’t monitoring an Alliance admiral just because he’s an Alliance admiral?”

“I don’t know.  It could be, but it was a tie to Terra Firma.  It made up my mind.”

By the time he finished telling Liara about Admiral Wilson, Kaidan really was starting to feel more coherent again.  The nausea that had been rising as he stumbled out was gone.  The pain was there, but tolerable.  The light was going to kill him when he went back inside.

“You talked to Admiral Hackett in the hallway.  It seemed upsetting.”

“It was nothing,” Kaidan said.  “The Council’s gathering to discuss this.  I’m supposed to meet him there.”

“You’re wet though.”

Kaidan touched his uniform.  Soggy.

“Where’s my bag?”

“My assistant will bring it to your quarters.”

“Thanks.”

Liara turned on her Omni-Tool.  “I’ll check with Benna.”

“Liara,” Kaidan said, and she looked over.  “I downloaded files from Wilson’s work terminal.  The Council has professionals who can process this data, only …”

“You’re not sure if you can trust them?”

“Yes.”

Kaidan hesitated.  Liara watched him.

“You’re not sure if you can trust me with it either though.”

“Can I, Liara?”

“How can you even ask me that?”

“You know your people, Liara, whether they’re trustworthy.  If I give this to you, I’m giving it to Liara, my friend, not the Shadow Broker.”

A hard line deepened in her brow.  She pressed lips and stood up.

“I guess, you don’t know me after all, Kaidan.”

“This is serious, Liara.  Tell me this data won’t go anywhere but between us.”

Liara exhaled and looked toward the city lights.  “I’m surprised.  I guess, I don’t know you either.”

“Liara.” Kaidan lifted to his feet and tested his balance.  “I’m sorry.  This is just business.”

“Very well,” Liara cut in sharply.  “You want a promise, you have one.  If that is adequate, I will work on sorting the data myself.”

Kaidan paused watching her profile.  She folded her arms and didn’t turn to meet his eyes.  He sighed and punched up his Omni-Tool.  The light blurred in his vision feeling the glare sharp in his head before he found the right screen.  He held his arm out next to Liara.  With tight lips, she turned on her own Omni-Tool and held her arm out next to his.  The transfer took a minute.  The orange light faded on his wrist as his arm dropped and he turned to her.

“Liara …”

“Let’s just go.”

She moved around him and marched up to the entrance hall’s doors.  Kaidan trailed along squinted at light from the building.  The air inside stifled him -- too warm and stuffy.  Damp clothing and hair stuck plastered against his clammy skin.

“My assistant brought your bag to your quarters,” Liara said facing him.  “I will start reviewing the data.  Let me know what the Council decides.”

Kaidan searched her face.

“Liara …”

“You’re probably going to be late.”

Kaidan sighed and nodded.  “All right.”

Liara moved off.  Kaidan watched her go as his vision acclimated to the brightness.  Water dripped off his arm as he checked his Omni-Tool.  Liara was right.  He was going to be late.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 4**

 

Kaidan slipped around the corner into to the Council Chamber.  The door swished close behind him.  Voices argued.  The four Councilors sat at the long table in the room’s center as Alliance uniforms stood across from them.  They gestured and talking over each other.  Kaidan slunk down the aisle to them.  The voices lulled as faces turned to him.

The asari councilor Tevos stood.  “Good.  Now, Spectre Alenko is here, he can address some of this.”

Three Alliance officers stood next to Hackett.  As they turned, Kaidan’s steps faltered.  Flight Admirals all three, part of the Parliament.  Flight Admiral Dumas’s eyes burned on him.

“Major Alenko, what is the meaning of this?” his voice boomed.  “Detaining an Alliance admiral?”

“He has Spectre authority may I remind you.”  Tevos pulled her chair up and sat again.

“We are aware of that,” Dumas snapped. “But this is an Alliance issue as much as the Council’s.”

“This is a secondary matter,” Councilor Mason said.  “It can wait.  What we need to discuss is the situation with the Normandy.”

“Agree,” Sparatus, the turien councilor, said folding his hands on the table and looking down the row at the other Councilors.

“Has a ship been dispatched to investigate?” Mason asked.

“Yes, Councilor,” Hackett said.  “I sent word an hour ago.  The Vespus was switching out freight.  She has above average fuel capacity.  She’s already left to find the distress beacon.”

“And the quantum entanglement portal?” Mason asked.

Tevos answered. “Nothing.  Still no response.”

Kaidan’s stomach twisted.  He walked up next to Hackett under Dumas’s heated stare.  Despite spotlighting him when he first came in, he’d yet to be asked anything.

“Alenko.”  Damn.  It was Sparatus.  “You were the one that uncovered this.  How?”

“I received a tip from a source close to the Shadow Broker.”

“Shadow Broker!” one of the flight admirals proclaimed.

Salarian Councilor Ish shook his head and muttered, “Irregular.”

“When did the portal lose connection?” Kaidan asked.

“Days ago,” Tevos said.  “It was a system error.  We could see that.  Now it won’t connect at all, even to recognize a system issue.  Our information officers found irregularities.”

“Coded messages,” Sparatus said.  “Hidden in the static signatures.  Someone’s infiltrated our firewalls to retrieve and send messages back.  Sophisticated hacking.  No amateur.”

“Messages,” Dumas said, his focus finally moving off Kaidan.  “Messages for who?”

“We can’t read them.  We don’t know,” Tevos said.  “We’re trying to break the code.  It may be nothing.”

“It’s significant or you wouldn’t have concealed it from us,” Dumas said.

“We didn’t conceal it,” Tevos nettled.  “As it is, it means nothing.”

The other flight admirals talked in hushed voices, and Dumas turned speaking fast in a heated whisper.

“Yes, we know the implications of that,” Mason finally said, “but we don’t know anything.  Yet.”

“Unless a master hacker was on that side of the portal,” Dumas said, “then Spectre credentials are needed to altering messages on the quantum communicator.  Multiple Spectre identifiers, I believe.”

Tevos opened her mouth then hesitated.  The admirals’ faces turned to her.

“I won’t deny it,” Tevos said.  “We can confirm that Spectre identification and specific codes were used on that side of the portal to transmit these messages.”

Heat flared in Kaidan’s face.  No one said anything, but more whispering rose among the admirals.

“Someone could have copied that information,” Kaidan said.

Dumas whipped his head around to stare at Kaidan.  “Major Alenko, don’t insult us.  You’re familiar with the adage of the horse and zebra?  You hear hooves outside your door, you can bet on it being a horse, not a zebra.”

Kaidan forehead furrowed.  He looked sideways at Hackett, but Hackett’s expression was guardedly neutral.  Ish was frowning too.  He brought up the screen on his Omni-Tool.

“We shouldn’t rule anything out,” Kaidan said finally.  “We don’t know what happened yet.”

Ish snorted and bobbed his head.  “Yes, yes, quite right.  Zebras rare species compared to common domesticated horse.  Both have hooves, meaning most likely explanations the better bet.  This makes sense.  But,” he considered, “not enough data for evaluating the causes when still ignorant of the effect.”

“Now, to my real questions here.” Mason adjusted himself in his seat and stared at the huddle of admirals.  “Why weren’t we alerted to the Normandy’s distress signal?  The report forwarded to us by Spectre Alenko showed that the signal was received last night.  Admiral Wilson was obviously aware since that message was retrieved from his computer.”

Dumas’s spine straightened.  “We were all aware of the distress call, Councilors.”

Kaidan’s brow furrowed.  He still had a migraine overlying everything, but he repeated the words to himself again.  Hackett’s round eyes seemed to suggest Kaidan had heard correctly. 

              “Admirals,” Hackett took a step toward them,“you were aware?”

              “Some of us,” Dumas said curtly.  “I was aware.  I told Admiral Wilson to disregard it.”

              “That came from you?” Hackett repeated.

              “Yes.” Dumas glared at Hackett.  The other two flight admirals looked equally perturbed by Hackett’s questions.

              “Why would you disregard it?” Tevos breathed out heatedly.  “This is a joint mission, we should have been updated.”

              “Joint mission?” Dumas huffed. “Why weren’t we told about communication cutting off on this ‘joint mission?’”

              “This is counterproductive,” Ilk sighed.  “Rehashing previous topics.  It’s inefficient.”

              “Admiral Dumas was making an important point,” one of the flight admirals growled at the councilor.

              “I have documents that I can provide,” Dumas walked up to the Councilors’s table.  “I’ve had them complied and already submitted them to you for review.  The Normandy’s distress beacon malfunctioned numerous times prior to and during the mission.  The diagnostic reports confirm ongoing issues with it.  When I received information on the signal and considering the location indicated by the receiving ship, it was a natural conclusion that it was false positive.  It was received completely off course from the submitted flight plan.”

              Mason leaned forward over the desk and exhaled.  “That is concerning.  If not for the QEC signal changing from error to complete blackout that, if it’s true, wouldn’t be an unreasonable conclusion.”

              “Agreed,” Ilk said.  “I will review these documents.  Have our information security team examine them in-depth.”

              Tevos eyed Kaidan.  “If Admiral Wilson was ordered to dismiss the warning, he may not be in the wrong.”

              Kaidan folded his arms.  “He refused to cooperate.”

              Dumas swung around then stormed over to him.  “I ordered him!  Me and other members of your Alliance Parliament, Major Alenko.  We discussed it, we reviewed it, we issued orders.  By not immediately divulging the information for a request that needed to come to us, he acting as a proper Alliance officer should act.”

              Kaidan almost took a step back but stopped himself.  Hackett’s eye moved between them, mouth tightening. 

Sparatus sighed.  “This is an Alliance matters.”

“Agreed,” Ilk said.  “A waste of our time here.”

“How long until the Vespus reaches the beacon, Admiral Hackett?” Tevos asked.

“The signal was deep in space,” Hackett said.  “Two to three days at FLT.  The beacon will have drifted.  Downloading the beacon’s travel data will give us a radaius, but we’ll still need to find the ship itself.”

“Or ship remains,” Ilk murmured.  “Pirate activity, unlikely in deep space though.  Slaver activity, rachni, unknown factors.  Still, with encrypted messages and off course, likely not an attack.  Horse not the zebra.”

The conversation turned to Normandy’s diagnostic reports, last check-ins, and maintenance records. Kaidan exhaled a rush of air and touched his fingertips to his temple. He needed to get out of the bright lights.  It was probably almost morning.  A few hours and he’d be on his way to Tokyo.  Most of his team was already there waiting for him.

The meeting seemed to be coming to a close.  Sparatus stood up with a sigh as Dumas walked over to the other admirals.  Kaidan considered mentioning the listening device he’d found in Wilson’s office.  Like Liara said though, maybe it wasn’t to monitor an operative as much as just gathering information in general.  An admiral’s office would always be a good target, especially if Wilson’s if Terra Firma was curious about Shepard or the Elliom mission.  Perhaps it meant nothing, or perhaps, there was something larger at work.  The flight admirals turned from their huddle.  Their eyes regarded Kaidan’s coolly. 

              “We’re adjourned,” Mason said.  “Keep us updated, Admirals.”

              “Certainly,” Hackett inclined his head.

              “Alenko,” Dumas called and stared at him expectantly.

              Kaidan walked over.  Hackett fell in beside him, and the Flight Admirals faced them.

              “Release Admiral Wilson from your custody,” Dumas said.

              “Very well,” Kaidan agreed.

              He couldn’t keep Wilson forever, and this new information was enough on its own.  Kaidan’s head was killing him.  He just to get out of here, but he couldn’t even head back to his room to lie down.  Time was ticking down and there was too much to prepare.

              “Alliance Parliament will review this … incident,” Dumas said.

              “Major Alenko is due in Tokyo today, Admirals,” Hackett said.

              “Well, now he’s due here for a couple of days,” Dumas said.  “Alenko will catch a later flight.  Release Admiral Wilson, and be expecting an invitation to review this with us, Major.”

              One of the flight admirals smiled mirthlessly at Kaidan.  “I would consider retaining counsel, Major.”

              Kaidan stared at her as his stomach knotted.

              “You’re not leaving until this is settled,” Dumas said.  “Parliament will tell you when that is.”

              “The Tokyo Terra Firma operation,” Hackett said, “there are important leads.  We know something is being planned.  With the Summit and the relays nearing completion, this is an Alliance and Council priority.  Major Alenko has experience in tracking their movements, and his biotic division has been invaluable in infiltrating some of the deeper cells, especially the ones composed of Cerberus agents with their upgraded technology.  His background with the Scorpion …”

              “Maybe that should’ve been the Major’s priority instead of storming the Alliance leadership wing and throwing an admiral into detention.  But then, when it comes to the Normandy, perhaps the Major’s priorities don’t align with the Alliance’s.  Could be that there’s a reason for regulations, hm, Alenko?”

              Kaidan’s breath froze in his lungs.  Dumas smirked.  Everyone did know then.  Hackett was right.

              “Well?” Dumas said.  “You seem a little speechless, Major.  Long night maybe.  Turning over tables and raising hell can do that, I’m sure.  But in a while here, you’ll be in front of Parliament, just an Alliance soldier justifying his action.  We’ll see where that ruckus gets you, won’t we?  You’re keeping your ass planted here until this gets sorted out.”  Dumas turned to leave but then paused.  He looked back at Kaidan.  “It’s almost morning, Major.  I’d figure out what you’re going to do exactly to work this out for your team.  Explain to them why they’re making up for your mistake and mixed-up priorities, for thinking with something else instead of your head.  Keep your inbox open.”

              He stormed down a side aisle to the exit.  Kaidan’s ribs constricted his lungs as he watched the retreating backs of Flight Admirals.  He rubbed his temple.  Hackett stood rigidly with eyes fixed on the Flight Admirals’ exited.  He glanced over at Kaidan.

              Kaidan folded his arms. “I’m a Spectre.”

              “That’s …” Hackett rolled his lips and shook his head with a sigh.  He met Kaidan’s eye.  “You’ll need a different defense than that.”

              Kaidan watched Hackett as he turned down an aisle and left through the exit.  The room stood empty.  Kaidan shuffled to the wall and sank heavily into a chair.  Outside the window, the sky lightened with dawn.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 5**

 

              When he got Liara’s message, Kaidan was partway through teleconference with General Paulston.  Commander Travis was certainly capable, but it stung turning over command when they were so close to finding something.  They’d narrowed down a hot area, infiltrated some of the shadier locations, planted bugs, made some contacts.  One of the warehouses they knew for sure had incendiary material.  Kaidan briefed Travis, Paulston, and a few other key players before reviewed the intel from Prague.  By the time the conference call ended, the message light on his Omni-Tool had been flashing for nearly two hours. 

It took minutes to read.  A handful of calls, database searches, Spectre inquiries, and some cross-referencing and Kaidan was sprinting down the hall to the admiral’s offices.  Hackett sighed coming out his office into the reception area.  Kaidan got to his feet.

              “I have a debrief on the Borgata Strike,” he said.

              Kaidan shifted on his feet.  He couldn’t push his way in again.

              “I’ll message you then, sir,” Kaidan said finally.

              Hackett sighed again and looked at the time on the wall. 

              “Come in.  But quick, Major.”

              Kaidan passed him and turned to Hackett as the door closed.

              “Thank you, Admiral.  I’ll be quick.”

              “Okay.” Hackett nodded.

              “I appropriated files from Admiral Wilson’s terminal yesterday.” 

              Hackett hissed a long sigh and looked away.

              “Alenko …”

              “The admiral saw me do it,” Kaidan said.  “I’m sure it will all be part of whatever hearing they decide to hold.  Regardless, there’s something important.  There’s a lot of information, but this stuck out.”

              Kaidan held out a datapad.  Hackett snatched it from him with a pressed lipped frown.

              “What is it?”

              “A Council request on behalf of the Normandy for information on Langley Station, the personnel there, status.”

              Hackett shrugged.  “That means something to you, I suppose?”

              “It’s midway from Elliom to Gagarin.  When the request was made, the Normandy would have been passing through the general area.  Langley would have been a few days off course, if that.”

              “And?”

              “The files Admiral Wilson submitted were tampered with.  I’ve cross referenced them.  The information in these files isn’t in any files previous to this.  In fact, everything I find before this indicates Langley was abandoned.  It didn’t have any Alliance personnel left, just some research staff who insisted on staying.  These Alliance personnel files, the faces and names …”

              Kaidan moved shoulder to shoulder with Hackett and touched the datapad to scroll through the personnel. 

              “These aren’t Alliance soldiers.  I don’t know who they are.  The names are from older records, unaccounted for soldiers in the war.”

              “We had so many unaccounted.  I don’t think that means anything.”

              “The faces don’t match those names,” Kaidan said.  “The records are pre-war, but I could find them.  Those names aren’t these men.”

              Hackett frowned at him.  He stared down at the datapad with deep frown lines.

              “The Normandy asked for those files for some reason,” Kaidan said.  “I think they went off course right after the file transfer and the comm system went down.  The Council’s comm operators were even asked to verify and resend the information.”

              “And why would the Normandy go off course to Langley Station?”

              Kaidan tapped the datapad in the admiral’s hand.  “For them.  If the commander thought there were stranded soldiers on the station., the Alliance confirmed it, I think they’d go off course to get to them.  Whatever went wrong, it had to do with this.”

              Hackett didn’t say anything and just stared at the datapad’s page of faces and names.

Kaidan shifted.  “I don’t think they’ll find the Normandy in the search radius they’re considering.  I saw where the beacon was found.  If the Normandy had stayed on course, the beacon shouldn’t have drifted that far in the timeframe we’re looking at.  I think the beacon drifted from the other direction.  I think it came from route between Langley and Gagarin.  Counting out the number of days, we can get a rough estimate.  The Vespus needs to focus there.  When it finds the beacon and reads the time data, the projected search zone needs to be the exact opposite direction.”

Hackett stared him with bright rounded eyes.  He rushed over to his desk, setting the datapad on the edge, and turning on his computer terminal.

“The Vespus is nearly out of comm range,” Hackett muttered.  “Coppenhagen,” he said into the comm on his desk.  “Get me Staff Commander Elroy on Gagarin.  I need to talk to him right now.”

Kaidan stifled the urge to pace as Hackett got Commander Elroy on long range comm.  The picture prickled with static, sound cutting in an out, and obvious lag, but it came through.  The Vespus was still in communication with the station.  Kaidan released a slow breath.  That much could be done then.  When Admiral Hackett finished, he nodded at Kaidan.

“Good work, Major.  Submit this to the Council and file it with the Alliance for internal review.  If someone broke into our system, tampered with our files, we need to investigate.  You don’t know who altered these files, I suppose?  How did they get on Wilson’s computer?”

“I don’t know who.  Admiral Wilson fielded the request, and the Alliance databases produced this.  I think …” Kaidan paused.  It was just conjecture, a feeling even.

“What is it?” Hackett asked. 

“I don’t know this.  The Alliance will need to do a forensic appraisal for the Council, but the reports on the malfunctioning beacon, it doesn’t make sense.  I think those documents, I know there are a lot of them from all different sources, but I think they may have been edited or superseded.  I don’t think whoever is behind this wants the Normandy to be found.”

“We’ll need proof of that.  That may be hard to come by with the skill we’re seeing demonstrated.  Whoever this is, if all that’s true, with their ability to alter Alliance intel there’s grave implications.”

“It takes less skill if there’s inside access.”

Hackett stood with the desk between them and regarded Kaidan warily.   

“You’re still suspicious of Admiral Wilson?  You have anything to support that?”

Kaidan shrugged then grinned suddenly. 

“As I once heard -- the horse, not the zebra, right?  Makes a lot more sense than some supernaturally skilled hacker getting through all our safeguards.”

“Perhaps,” Hackett said slowly and leaned forward on his desk with both hands.  “This will need an internal investigation, a quiet one.  I’m obligated to turn this information over to Parliament.  The Langley Station document is obviously suspicious.  As for the beacon’s documents, they will need to be dissected.”

Kaidan nodded.  He hadn’t expected anything else.

“Major, before you go.,” Hackett tapped his fingers on his desk in thought before straightening, “Shepard … she had Cerberus ties.”

“No,” Kaidan said simply.

They held each other’s eyes until Hackett finally cleared his throat and nodded.

“Very well.  Thank you for bringing this to my attention.  You straightened things out with your teams in Tokyo?”

“Not completely, but we’re working something out.”

“Good,” Hackett nodded.  “We can go over it tomorrow afternoon.  I want an update.  We’ll get Commander Travis on the line.  You’ve worked with him?  Trust him to step in?”

“I don’t know he’s not ready for this, but yes, I trust him.  If he works closely enough under General Paulston, it may grow something in him.  There’s potential.  He’s conservative, doesn’t take the openings sometimes, but that can improve with experience.”

“Too conservative,” Hackett smiled.  “From you, Alenko?  Maybe not so much anymore.”

“Well, not yesterday, sir.”

              “Set things up then,” Hackett said drawing his chair up the desk and sitting.  “We’ll get things up and going without you.  For now.  Dismissed, Major.”

              Kaidan saluted and walked out the reception area.  There was a gradient between too conservative and reckless.  All this with the Normandy … He was starting not to trust himself.  Patience and tact could open more doors than brute force sometimes.  That was his way, not all of this chaos.  Maybe Shepard was wearing off on him.  She did get results, but so could he.  He just had to walk the line.  If he could find it.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 6**

 

              Kaidan rolled over again in bed.  His window was as dark as when he first lay down.  Kaidan reached for his Omni-Tool.  It was still too early.

              “Damnit.”

              He rolled onto his back and stared up at the dark ceiling.  It had only been four hours since he went to bed.  He’d taken some medication, and the room was dark and quiet, but his head wasn’t feeling much better.  All those hours working with Paulston by teleconference and the debriefing with the Council and Admiral Board had exacerbated this headache he’d had for days now.  Still no word from the Vespus.  Hell, it had been long enough.  The Alliance should have heard something by now.  This much time, they should have found it by now and still had time to get back into comm range.

              “Shepard.”

              Nice to say her name aloud.  The Normandy and the crew mattered, of course, they did, but it was Shepard that weighed on him.  All the discussions about the Normandy, and no one had mentioned her name all week.  Maybe her name was so synonymous with the Normandy anymore there was no need.

              After everything, here he was again -- lying in the dark wondering if she was dead or alive.  He’d spent more time mourning her and thinking her dead, than he had ever being with her.  By this point, he should be callous.  It should be like boy that cried wolf.  It wasn’t though, each time felt like it was worse than all the times before.  At least, there was uncertainty.  In one day or several days, he’d be on the Other Side it would either be better or so much worse.  He couldn’t control the outcome.  There was nothing more he could do.  Not now anyway.  Knowing that, he should sleep.  Lying here sleepless, rehashing things was useless.  This had never been rational though.  He couldn’t expect it to be now.

              At least, he could focus on something proactive.  General Paulston wanted his input on the data cache recovered from the Tekoto operation.  There was that poisoning in Nikaryiku he could look into with the seven marines found dead and the databases corrupted.  He should be thinking about all of that or the newest assassination.  Rear Admiral Greyson was no accident.  Kaidan was nearly certain.  These things were productive lines of thought.

              Kaidan’s Omni-Tool lit up the room in an orange glow.  He snatched it off the end table by his bed.  A message from Admiral Hackett.  Kaidan tumbled out of bed, kicking away the covers, and rushing to his dresser.  Maybe he wouldn’t be waiting another day to know how he’d feel on the Other Side.

 

* * *

 

              Kaidan plunged down the hall and swung around the corner in the Councilor’s wing.  He bunched into two NCO’s coming the opposite direction.  Eyes straying to the stripes on Kaidan’s uniform, and they saluted.  

              “Major.”

              Kaidan saluted back then circumvented them.  He took another corner, and there it was.  Flight Admiral Dumas was stepping through the door at the end of hall.  He disappeared as the comm room’s doors slid shut.

              All the Councilors were already there.  A mix of Councilors and Alliance brass lined up facing a quantum entanglement portal in the room’s corner.  Hackett wasn’t there yet.  Four humans Kaidan didn’t recognized moved around the room and appeared to be Council staffers.  A ponytailed woman stood beside the QEC, checking the clock on the wall, and surveying the gathering crowd.  The door in the back slid open again.  Admiral Hackett came through.  Admiral Wilson was with him.  Kaidan looked away sharply.

              Councilor Mason turned to the comm officer.  “I think that’s all of us.”

              The comm officer moved to the portal’s terminal and inspected a flashing green light.  Kaidan stood beside Dumas as Hackett joined them. 

The comm officer turned around.  “I’m sorry.  It’s still only pinging.”

              “What does that mean?” Tevos said.

              “If it’s only pinging, why were we called?” Sparatus stood at the end of the line circling the platform.  He looked down the line at everyone.  “We rushed to be here, and it’s not even operational yet?”

              “Who made this decision?” Isk sighed.   

              Councilor Mason cleared his throat.  “I did.  When Officer Bennet messaged me, I thought you would like to know, and the Alliance too.”

              Sparatus folded his arms.  “Now here we are waiting.  We could be here hours before anything happens, if it happens.”

              “I still don’t understand,” Tevos said.  “If it’s still not receiving a comm signal, why were we summoned, Councilor?”  She looked to Mason on her right.

              “Because we got a ping,” Mason answered.  He motioned to Bennet.  “Tell us about the ping please, officer.”

              The woman, apparently Bennet, skimmed her eyes down the line of Councilors before resting on Mason, who nodded encouragingly. 

She licked her lips.  “A ping was received forty minutes ago.  We received a second ping just minutes ago.”

              “Ping?” Tevos asked.

              “Yes, Councilor, the signal two quantum entanglement platforms are connected.  They ping each other periodically to confirm connection, automatically or manually.  Before this, the last ping heard from the Normandy was over 185 hours ago.”

              “Could this be coming from somewhere else?” Hackett asked.

              “No, Admiral,” Bennet said.  “The two quantum entanglement platforms communicate only with each other.  Without dismissing their connection and manually establishing a new hardware connection to a different platform, this Council portal is specific to the Normandy.”

              Hackett stood next to Kaidan nodding in thought.  The extra Council staff except for Benson had left.  Ilk stood down the line facing the QEC and looked around the room muttering about a chair.

              “So,” Tevos said, “this means contact with the Normandy is being re-established from their end?  Regaining functionality?”

              “It’s not a matter of distance?” Dumas asked.  “Maybe they’ve just come in range?”

              Sparatus sighed. “It’s a quantum entanglement comm, it doesn’t use the buoys.  It’s never out of range.”

              Councilor Ilk shook his head and shared a look with Sparatus.  The Alliance didn’t use quantum entanglement communication.  Except for Hackett and Wilson, most probably weren’t familiar with the technology.  If Kaidan hadn’t served on the Normandy during the war, he wouldn’t have known either. 

              “Like I said,” Sparatus said.  “We could be here forever.  How do we even know this is moving toward full communication?”

              Bennet shrugged.  “I guess we don’t.”

              “See,” Sparatus growled.  “Just send for us when—”

              The floor of the QEC’s platform flashed.  Bennet’s fingers shot over the QEC’s terminal contols.  Mason hedged forward. 

“That’s a good sign?” he murmured.

It flickered again.  An image, unsteady and wavering, appeared for an instant in the space separated by railing from the projection floor.  The image blinked out again.  Mason’s face turned studying the other Councilors, then he stepped up the two steps onto the platform’s transmitting floor.

              “What’s happening?” Tevos asked looking to Bennet.

              Bennet studied the platform’s terminal.  “The QEC is set to receive a message as soon as one transmits.  I think they’re re-establishing—”

              The image materialized again.  Two men stared out at them.  One was hunched holding a holo-driver tool.  He stood with a grin as the other, a freckled balding man, punched a button on his Omni-Tool and looked out at them.  His eyes widened.

              “Can you see me?” he asked.

              “Yes,” Mason said.  “Can you see me?”

              “Yes,” the freckled man said.  “Yes, we can.  Finally.”

              “I’m Councilor Mason.  Who are you, soldier?”

              “Lieutenant Tobin, sir.”

              “Engineer Hill from the Vespus,” the man holding the holo-drive said.

              Kaidan released a long breath. His chest finally felt looser.  Hackett looked sideways with a smile, which Kaidan returned weakly.  His palms sweated.  No one launched a distress beacon just because a comm channel went down.

              “The Vespus?” Mason said.

              “Yes, sir.  Helped repair the QEC.”

              Mason gave a quick nod.  “Excellent work.  Thank you, Engineer.  Lieutenant, the Councilor and some Alliance officers are here.  Go get your CO.”

              Tobin frowned but nodded.  “Aye, aye.”

              He darted out of the hologram.  Engineer Hill trailed along after him leaving the platform beyond the railing empty. 

              Sparatus sighed.  “Everything seems fine.”  He put his head out to look down the line of people.  “Alenko down there?”

              Kaidan leaned out to see the Councilor.

              “Spectres may be above the law, Alenko, but they’re not above Council criticism.  You raised a lot of dust over this.”

              Hackett took a step out to see Sparatus.  “Councilor, we haven’t heard from Shepard yet.  Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

              “Agreed,” Tevos said folding her arms.  “Spectre Alenko can be addressed after we have all the information.”

              “This hardly seems worth Council time,” Ilk muttered.  “QEC repair.”

              Wilson cleared his throat.  He probably had a clear line of sight at Kaidan now that Hackett had moved forward.  Kaidan kept his face pointed at the Councilors.

              “We don’t know anything yet,” Mason said. “There may be a very good—”

              “Hello, Councilors.”  James’s image flickered in the QEC feed.

              Kaidan's chest squeezed on a throbbing beat.  Admiral Hackett's brow furrowed.  He glanced at Kaidan.

              Mason stared at James for a moment before finally speaking.  “Where’s Shepard?”

              “Uh, I’m Lieutenant Commander James Vega,” he said.  “Commander Shepard …” He rubbed the back of his neck.  Blood beat in Kaidan’s ears.  “She, well …” James straightened and looked at Mason.  “Councilor, we had a -- I don’t know -- I guess, a mutiny?  I’m not sure what to call it.”

              “Wh-what?” Mason hissed leaning forward on the railing.

              The Councilors shared looks.  Even Ilk stood taller with eyes wide.  Flight Admiral Dumas’s mouth hung slightly agape, frown lines wrinkling between his brows.

              “Sorry, Councilor.  I don’t know what to call it.”

              “What happened?”

              “We, uh, picked these soldiers up from Langley station.  Got a distress call, I think.”

              Hackett shifted the weight on his feet watching Kaidan, but Kaidan stood paralyzed eyes fixed on James.

              “When was this?” Mason asked.

              “Week ago maybe.”

              “You picked up Alliance soldiers?  Who ordered that, Commander?”

              “Yeah, they’re Alliance, but I don’t know much about it.”

              “You don’t know where the order came from?  Was Commander Shepard secretive of it?” Mason leaned in closer to the hologram.

              Kaidan teeth grit focusing on the back of Mason’s head.  He needed to stay calm.

              “No, I wouldn’t say that.”  James shifted.  “I was on the lower decks focused on ground forces and the recovery mission.”

              “You – You’re not the XO?”

              “No, sir.”

              “I need answers then.” Mason held up a finger.  “Where are the senior officers?”

              “From the Vespus?” James asked with a frown.  “I can get—"

              “No, the Normandy.  Where are they?”

              James looked down. “Some injured.  Some dead.”

              Kaidan’s breath sharpened.  Admiral Hackett’s eyes weighing on him.

              “The soldiers we rescued,” James said, “they attacked the crew.  No one was ready for it and there was … it was pretty bad.  The ship suffered pretty bad damage to the cargo bay.  A fire.  Engineering and the CIC are pretty shot up.  The QEC was destroyed.”

              “You released a distress beacon though.”

              “Yeah, Shepard did.”

              “Then, what’s the status on Spectre Shepard?”

              “She … she’s alive.”

              “But she’s not here, you are,” Mason said. “She’s injured?”

              James nodded.  “Bad.  I don’t know if … Well, we need medical attention.”

              Hackett sighed and rubbed his forehead.  He spoke up.  “Medical personnel were too limited on Gagarin to send with the Vespus.”

              Mason frowned at Hackett then turned back to James. “Any medical personnel on board the Normandy?”

              “All dead.  A few of our marines have basic medic training.  Nothing for something like this.”

              “How many casualties?”

              “Twenty-nine.”

              An audible gasp went around the room.  Tevos gasped grabbing Sparatus’s arm.  Admiral Dumas bolted up the platform next to Mason.

              “What are you talking about?” he said.  “How could there be twenty-nine?  The crew itself was only twenty-five!”

              “Seven turiens rescued from Elliom, twelve crew, ten of the attackers.”

“It’s a massacre,” Tevos said.

Mason glared at Dumas but stepped over to make room for him on the platform.

“How many injured?” Dumas pressed.

“Thirteen crew alive, seven injured.  Some pretty bad.  Five turiens, all injured.  Critically, I’d estimate.  Two of the attackers.”

“Two of the attackers?” Mason asked.

James nodded.

“Have you questioned them?  What’s behind this attack?” Dumas asked.

James’s forehead scrunched.  “No.  I – we’ve had too much else going on.  We have six crewmen not injured for a ship needing twenty-five.  The ship’s got major damage.  The Vespus just found us yesterday, been helping with the wounded.  Their engineers got this back up, but no lie, we were floundering.  A few of the wounded have died.”

Kaidan’s face burned as sweat bead his forehead.  His migraine was sharpening.  No one was asking the right questions, the questions he wanted answered anyway.

“Things are under control now the Vespus’s there?” Mason asked.

“Getting there. Probably leave some engineers here to repair the ship enough to limp back to Jump Zero.  Vespus’s leaving with the wounded soon as we get everything transferred over.”

Sparatus stepped to the bottom of the platform’s steps.  “What about General Taurin?”

Mason moved into the center of the transmission floor.  Dumas took a step to the side to accommodate him.  James wouldn’t be able to have seen or heard Sparatus.

“What’s the status of the general?” Mason asked for him.

“Dead, Councilor.  Killed right off.  Might have been their first shot.”

Sparatus hung his head.  “Assassinated then.  The entire mission wasted.”

“There are twenty-nine dead!” Tevos snapped.

Mason looked from the Councilors back to James.  “What about the …” he paused then licking his lips but pushed ahead.  “There was an important mission target.  An object …”

“The Mass Effect Shard?  Yeah.”

Admiral Wilson grumbled something.  The Councilors didn’t seem perturbed though, only more intent.  Even Ilk stood straighter staring at the holograph of James.

“Yes, that was it.  Where is it?  You still have it?”

James grimaced.  Mason’s face fell with the expression.

“No.”

“No?” Dumas shoved forward around Mason.

“It got lost in the chaos and everything.  We can’t find it.  I mean, it’s gotta be here somewhere.  Just, not finding it.”

“It wasn’t secured?” Admiral Wilson whispered with heat.

Dumas heard Wilson and focused back on James.  “Why wasn’t it stored safely?  How did it get lost?”

“It was a safe, but during the attack,” James paused.  “We were trying to keep it safe.  With the fire and everything that happened, it musta gotten lost or something.”

“Who had it?” Dumas narrowed his eyes.

“Well,” James hesitated.  “Commander Shepard.”

“Shepard had it?  Lost it?” Dumas asked.

Kaidan crossed his arms tightly.  Shepard wouldn’t have had it during an attack unless there was something, or someone, she wanted to keep it from.  James shook his head.

“She didn’t lose it.  Just can’t find it.  It’s here somewhere.”

“The cargo bay has vid records.  We’ll have to review it then,” Dumas said evenly.

James’s already weak smile faded.  He looked off for a moment but didn’t say anything.  These questions were going nowhere.  Kaidan took a step forward.

“Ask about XO Anchor,” Kaidan said softly.  “Did he have the shard before Shepard?”

Dumas frowned at him but turned to James.  “What about the XO?  He have the shard too?  Is he alive, can help in this?”

“Dead.”

Dumas shrugged and said, “About the—”

“He broke into the safe.  He tried to take the shard.”

Mason’s eyes bulged.  His head snapped around to stare at Kaidan.  The other Councilors regarded Kaidan silently.

“You said Shepard had it,” Mason said.

“We found Anchor with the safe broken open.  He wouldn’t turn it over.  Shepard made him.”

“He was with the attackers?” Dumas said.

“Said he wasn’t,” James said.

“Then he could have been safeguarding it for all we know,” Dumas said.

“Or not,” Mason said.

Mason glanced back at Kaidan.  He seemed to be waiting for something.  The other Councilors were still watching Kaidan.

“How did the QEC go down coincide with Langley’s distress call?” Kaidan asked.

Mason turned to James.  “Rescuing the men from Langley, did it come before or after the QEC went down?  Did the orders come from the Alliance or Council?”

James scratched his chin.  “Happened around the same time, the QEC and distress call. Anchor was there when the QEC went  I don’t think the Commander got the chance to report in to anyone about it. We were working on fixing the QEC though until they shot it up.”

“What happened before that?  The mission to Elliom,” Kaidan said.

“What happened on Elliom?” Mason repeated.

James frowned and looked to the side for a moment.  “Well, uh, had some trouble with the first landing party when we were looking for the turiens.  Rescued ten of them on the second go.  As for the shard, yeah, we had some, uh, issues, but we came away with it.”

Kaidan frowned.  James licked his lips and shifted on his feet.  There was something else there.

“What about Anchor?” Kaidan pressed.

Mason repeated it.

“Pretty much abandoned the landing party when we went down.  We had some native species to deal with.  Had problems when he was helping Shepard with the shard too.  Got put under arrest.”

“Arrested?” Dumas said.

“Pretty sure Commander Shepard informed the Alliance of that,” James said.

Mason nodded.  “Admiral Wilson was managing it, I believe.”

“Behavioral issues,” Wilson said.  “Anchor and Shepard weren’t seeing eye-to-eye.  Shepard felt like he was questioning her. Ran it by a subset of Parliament."

Mason considered this and then asked James, “Shepard felt Anchor undermined her?  Insubordinate issues?  Was that it?”

“Yeah,” James paused then finally said, “Pretty much.”

“These records are available for review,” Wilson said.  “It was appropriately handled.”

Everyone’s head bobbed.  They looked between each other.  The looks were questioning and seemed kind of final.  They were going to close it out.  Kaidan hesitated.  James fidgeted with a thread on his shirt.  He seemed shifty.  There was something more there.

Kaidan took another step forward.  “Ask him about Anchor and Elliom again.”

Mason turned to James.  “What about …” He sighed and turned to Kaidan.  “Just come up here.”

Mason motioned at Dumas to move off the platform.  Dumas straightened his back, jaw tight, but stepped down the platform.  His glare cut sideways as Kaidan passed him on the steps.  Mason stepped to the side as Kaidan walked into the center.  James’s head snapped up arms falling away from the thread on his shirt.  He stepped forward with a grin.

“Didn’t you know you were there, Kaid – uh, I mean Major Alenko.”

“Hi, Commander.”

James nodded and waited.

“What happened with Anchor on Elliom?”

“Not much more than I said really. You talking about the landing mission?  He was just there one minute, gone the next.”

“And the issue with the shard?”

“Anchor almost dropped it down the shaft.  Mistake, I guess.”

“Come on, Vega.”  Kaidan crossed his arms.  His head pounded.  “What are you not saying?”

“I – uh …” James looked at Mason again.  “There’s not really anything else I _know_.”

“Okay.” Kaidan shrugged.  “What about what you don’t know then?  Is there something else?”

“Shepard didn’t think it was enough to accuse him of.  And I guess really you lay it out, there’s not much there.  Cortez saw Anchor digging around in the shuttle’s panel on Elliom.  Then we found an amplifier cord at the site later.  If it had been on the shuttle, could have overloaded and blown the shuttle apart on atmosphere re-entry.”

“Would have killed the turiens and the landing party,” Kaidan said.

“Yeah, seemed like he was expecting Shepard to be on it too.”

“Anchor would have taken command then.”  Kaidan thought for a moment then looked at James.  “What about that issue getting the Mass Effect Shard?”

“Oh, that,” James said.  “You know, Shepard told me to drop all this.  Kind of feel like I’m disregarding my CO airing this stuff.  It’s just speculation, you know?”

“I know.”

“Okay, well, he was helping Shepard get the shard.  I don’t know exactly what happened, but it went weird.  Shepard ended up falling.  Could have been bad.  She was all right and everything, but just left Anchor standing there with the shard.  Happened fast but looked, like I said, weird.”

Kaidan clenched his fists and folded them under his arms.

              “There was damage to the ship?” Kaidan said.  “The guys from Langley cause that?”

              “To the quatum communicator?  Definitely.  The rest of the ship though?  No, not really.  Shepard thought the whole coup was to take control of the ship”

              “Why take the ship?  Any theories?” Kaidan asked.

              “Can’t help on that one.”

              Kaidan nodded.  Mason shifted next to him and glanced back at the others.  They were probably ready to close out.  Kaidan stepped forward and leaned his arms on the railing.

              “What happened to Shepard?”

              “Shepard?” James’s face contorted putting his hands on his hips and looked off to the side.  After a moment, he sniffed and turned back with a blank face.  “I don’t know, Kaidan.  I really don’t know.”

              “What do you mean?” Kaidan asked, maybe with more edge than he meant to use.

              James held his stare.  “It’s something to do with her biotics, I’m pretty sure.”

              Kaidan stood up from the railing.  “What?”

              “She got shot.  A few times.  Well, shot in the shoulder and grazed, but she was doing okay.  I think, she woulda been fine.  But with the fire in the cargo bay, the shuttle came at us.  It was imploding.  She … I don’t know what she did.  It was so fast.  She touched it.  Put a barrier around it maybe.  The explosion broke through it but save us from most of it.  With that shrapnel, we’d all be dead.  She made the shuttle stop just short of hitting us.”

              Kaidan swallowed dryly.  “That’s impossible.”

              “I don’t know.”  James put up his hands.  “That’s just what I saw.  That’s what it looked like.”

              “The Normandy’s shuttle?”

              “Yeah.”

              “The one Cortez pilots.  That shuttle?”

              “An older model, more combustible, but yeah Kaidan, that shuttle.  Believe me, don’t believe me.  That’s what I saw, and that’s what it looked like.  Looked like a barrier.”

              “Around an entire shuttle while exploding which was flying at you?”

              “I don’t know about flying, more sliding.  It definitely was gonna take us out though.  No question.”

              Kaidan snorted and shook his head. 

“Okay.” He put a hand out.  _Move on._   “How is she now?”

“Unconscious.  She’s breathing.  Jensen’s got her on an IV.  But I … she isn’t coming to.” James straightened.  “The doctors can decide.  I’m no medic.  It’s just … hm, I don’t know.”  He shrugged.

“What?”

“Jensen says her pupils don’t react.  It’s some bad sign.”

They stared at each other silently.  Mason shifted in the corner of Kaidan’s vision.  Everyone stood silently waiting.  Kaidan’s mind blanked.  Finally, he took a step back.

“Talk to you later, James.”

“Sure, Kaidan.”

They ended the connection.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 7**

 

The QEC’s lights faded away on the platform as everyone stood looking around at the other faces.  Admiral Dumas as the first to stir.

“This is outrageous,” Admiral Dumas boomed.  “We never heard anything about these soldiers on Langley!”

“The QEC went out around the same time,” Hackett said.  “Were you aware, Admiral Wilson?”

Kaidan’s eyes flashed to Wilson.  Hackett was baiting him.  Kaidan hung on his reply.  Wilson stepped forward.

“An inquiry for information on Langley did come through.  The Council comm operators requested information from my office.  I had my staff prepare and send it along.  I didn’t realize there was any significance to it until now.”

“Turien general dead,” Sparatus said.  “Alliance soldiers seeming to be behind it.  Commander Shepard with her Cerberus roots and on her ship with men she picked up.  This going to ignite chaos.  The reaction from both sides, aliens and humans, they’ll be at each other’s throat over this.  Damn the Summit.”

“Shepard wasn’t behind this,” Kaidan said.

“Who then?” Ilk asked.  “Those encrypted transmission through the QEC used Shepard’s Spectre codes, and she lost the shard.  Perhaps hid it, destroyed it.  Is that possible?”  He brought up his Omni-Tool as if to answer his own question with some research.

              “She took the shard from Commander Anchor,” Kaidan said.  “He broke into the safe.  Why would he do that during a coup?”

              “To keep it from Shepard,” Dumas snorted.  “There was contention.  She didn’t trust him, but maybe he didn’t trust her.  Maybe he knew something.”

              “This speculation over him sabotaging the shuttle?” Tevos asked.  “And involved in Shepard’s fall?”

              “It’s exactly that, Councilor,” Dumas said.  “Speculation.”

              “Shepard didn’t report these concerns,” Wilson said.

Dumas tugged on the bottom of his uniform jacket.  “Shepard’s manipulative, and she thinks she’s God.  If she felt like Anchor was on to her, she could have been seeding the ship against him, bringing up doubts and making speculations like this.  She handpicked the crew, except for Anchor.  They’re already her friends, and she knew who she could manipulate.  Commander Vega, the others, they only see one slice of it.  They’re filling in the rest with a blind trust in their super hero.”

              “Is this connected to Cerberus?” Tevos asked.  “I thought they had scattered.”

              “There’s Terra Firma,” Kaidan said quietly.

              Mason had been quiet up until now.  He stepped up next to Kaidan now.

              “What do you know about it, Alenko?” he said.

              Eyes turned to him.  Dumas’s eyes felt hot but the rest seemed curious and quiet.  Even Wilson was quiet, waiting.

              “Commander Anchor was connected to Terra Firma.  Nothing illegal.  It’s in my reports from Prague.”

              “A lot of names are.”  Hackett’s said.  “Many with Alliance connections.”

              “I knew he was on the Normandy.  It stuck out.”

              “You warned Shepard?” Hackett asked.

              “Yes.”

              Wilson’s eyes flew wide.  Dumas beat him to punch, voice even and low.

              “How dare you interfere with this mission.  This mission was under strict security.  Your interference may affect the entire investigation.  At best, it’s behind these mad speculations.  At worst, if Shepard was involved, it gave her an opportune target for a patsy.”

              Kaidan shifted on his feet and almost didn’t say it.  But the fire in Dumas’s eyes pushed Kaidan on.

              “All due respect, sir, if Shepard did this because of her background in Cerberus, don’t you think discovering an Alliance soldier connected to Terra Firma would make him an ally, not ‘an opportune target’?”

              “Terra Firma up until recently was a political party not a terrorist operation.  Anchor’s affiliation isn’t recent?”

              “No.”

              “Then, they parted ways perhaps.  Maybe he didn’t agree with their evolution into terrorism.   Shepard worked for Cerbersus while it was a terrorist organization.  Maybe being her XO, he saw some signs her friends were only too happy to overlook.  But then, you’d overlook them too, wouldn’t you, Alenko?  Shepard even threw Anchor into detention.  Sound like a familiar overreaction?”

Beside Hackett, Wilson crossed his arms with a stony face.  His gaze was on Dumas, not Kaidan though. 

Tevos sighed.  “Shepard only had your information on Anchor to go off of?  Nothing more?”

“Not from me,” Kaidan said.

“They haven’t communicated since she left Earth,” Dumas mumbled off handedly then blinked and rushed to add.  “I believe … Alenko?”

“No.”

Kaidan’s core went cold. 

“What does all of this mean?” Mason shook his head.  “We need those damned messaged through the QEC decoded?  Any help through your work on Terra Firma, Spectre?”

“Their coding is complicated,” Kaidan said.  “There are warehouses full of hardware data, we haven’t been able to decode.  Without a key for the different coding sequences, it will takes months, if not years for all of it.”

“You really think it’s Terra Firma?” Tevos asked.

“I do.”

Ilk let out a loud breath and looked up from his Omni-Tool with a wide grin.  “You can’t destroy the shards.  Everything I’m finding suggests they’re as indestructible as the relays are to normal processes.”

Sparatus frowned at him, shook his head, and looked back at Kaidan. 

“What do you think’s going on, Spectre Alenko?”

“I …” Kaidan moved his weight onto his back foot and looked around at the faces.  He skipped past Dumas’s and Wilson’s faces quickly.  He felt like James must have been, tempted to hedge.  It was just speculation.  But they were trying to nail this to Shepard.  He may have doubted her in the past, but he was convinced now.  She didn’t do this.  In fact, the idea that she was lying wounded and unconscious because of them made Kaidan not just want to nail the blame to the right target, he wanted to send those bastards straight to hell.

“I think.” He’d put his disclaimer out there.  “I think, it’s Terra Firma.  I think they want the Mass Effect Shard for some weapon.  I found schematics for something that would match up.”

“What kind of weapon?” Ilk asked cocking his head.

“Something using dark energy. They’re up to something.  I think getting that Mass Effect shard was a part of whatever that is.”

“The Summit’s in a little over a month,” Mason said.  “You think it has to do with that?”

“It would make sense.  Nothing yet to confirm it that.”

“So, attack the whole Normandy to steal a shard?” Dumas said.  “Seems like there should be easier ways to do that, Major.”

“Maybe.”  Kaidan shrugged.  “Maybe tip your CO over the ledge.  You come aboard shard in hand and keys to the ship.”

“There’s no basis for that,” Wilson said.  “The soldier died.  We’re sullying a man’s name who could be a hero.”

“Wild speculation,” Dumas agreed.

“Well,” Kaidan pushed on anyway.  “I don’t think Terra Firma only wanted the shard.  I think if Anchor was made CO, they would have come across the distress call same as Shepard.  They would have ‘rescued’ the station crew, and they would have taken the ship. It would have been a lot easier without Shepard.  Hell, maybe they want the pretense of Shepard being involved when they use the Normandy for who-know-what.  Anchor just have just cut off the QEC at Elliom, so no one knew what happened to her. 

“They take the Normandy, attack colonies or space stations, maybe other ships.  It makes the Alliance look bad, throws doubt on Shepard and what she stands for, causes dissention and redirects everyone’s attention from what really matters, which in a several weeks from now is the Summit.  Shepard and Taurin are never at the Summit, and everyone’s up at arms against each other.  Hackles are raised at the meeting.  Who knows how it would change the decisions that are made, and now no one’s paying attention to what’s important.  Maybe it makes the whole meeting an easier target. “

“Where did these station men come from?” Tevos asked.  “I thought Terra Firma was a scattering of cells.  They never had Cerberus resources.”

“They’re organized now,” Kaidan said.  “A new leader came on a year ago, the Scorpion.”

“I’ve heard of this,” Sparatus muttered.

“The Scorpion?  Why?” Ilk asked.

“Some passphrase they use,” Sparatus said.

He looked to Kaidan.  Ilk followed Sparatus’s gaze and waited patiently.  Kaidan sighed.

“It’s something rhyming about the Scorpion giving the world back to the spiders,” Kaidan said.  “So we call this person, the Scorpion.  I don’t even know if that’s what they call their leader.  It’s what we use.”

“This person.  Any leads?” Tevos asked.

“No, but it should be a priority,” Kaidan said.  “As for the men on Langley, all that chatter through the QEC probably coordinated it.  There’s probably encrypted information on non-networked devices on the Normandy used by whoever put this together, who I think is Anchor.  They needed Shepard to find the shard for them, but then she was expendable.  The crew was expendable.  They got Terra Firma fighters to the abandoned station, coordinated with Anchor to uncover the signal, and then used moles inside the Alliance to send falsified information to reassure Shepard that the distress call was legitimate and the men were really Alliance soldiers.  It convinces her to go get them and drop her guard.  Then Anchor takes out the QEC to prevent Shepard discussing it with anyone or a calling for help when they take over the ship.”

“Why steal a space ship?” Hackett asked suddenly.  “Terra Firma up until the last year was destroying Alliance vessels in dry dock.”

“It makes sense for the here and now,” Kaidan said.  “Sure, ultimately, they’re isolationists.  They want the relays down.  They want space travel stopped.  They want to be holed up here on earth, full of only humans, living in freedom like the good ole times.  But for now, without ship or ships, you can’t achieve the end goal.  They won’t be safe until the relays aren’t under construction.  Here in Sol or Arcturus.  Maybe it’s even in their interest to defend the Arcturus relay to prevent other races rebuilding the relays there.  Of course, they’d have to maintain a fleet there, and they aren’t going to want to do that.  Not long term.”

“We’re nearing a boiling point then,” Sparatus said.  “The relay’s almost finished.”

“They’re going to strike,” Kaidan said.  “Everything points to them preparing for it.  They have a deadline, which means so do we.”

“We need to find this Scorpion then,” Tevos said.  “It should be a Council priority for the safety of the Summit.”

Kaidan nodded.  The Councilors started to move around.  Dumas walked over to Wilson and Hackett and spoke in a heated whisper.

“We all need to discuss this further,” Mason said.

“Send a schedule,” Ilk said already walking to the door.

“I’ll send everyone a reminder,” Mason said.

“Very good.”  Tevos nodded.

Kaidan shifted on his feet and checked his Omni-Tool.  His heart still felt like he’d stopped short mid-sprint, standing still but pounding and pounding.  He knew what he needed to do.

“The Vespus doesn’t have a QEC?”  Kaidan asked. 

He already knew the answer.  Hackett heard him and shook his head.  He didn’t have long to catch them before it left with the wounded then.

Kaidan turned to Tevos and Sparatus.  “Do I have permission to use the QEC portal?  Contact the Normandy as I wish?”

“You’re a Spectre, Alenko.  You don’t need our permission.”  Tevos smiled.

“Thank you.”

Kaidan rushed to the door.  Time was counting down.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 8**

 

              Kaidan bumped around a metal cart and glanced up in time to not run into two orderlies reviewing a monitor on the wall.  It looked like vital signs.  Kaidan finished the message on his Omni-Tool as he navigated away from a door sliding open.  A man in a white coat came out absorbed in his datapad and talking into a comm in his ear.  Kaidan tapped the send button on his Omni-Tool.  Done, the message to Liara was off.  It wouldn’t be long enough for her and probably raise more questions than answers.  Probably irritate the hell out of her now that he thought more on it.  Maybe he should … He brought up an empty message screen.  No.  He punched it off and continued down the hall at a brisker pace.  He was almost there, and Liara could be looped in more thoroughly later.  He’d provided the important bullet points.

              Kaidan rounded another corner and paused for a moment.  He glanced back the way he’d come.  It was the right hospital he hoped.  There were only two.  The other was across town, still under restoration, and last he heard only keeping non-intensive patients and definitely didn’t have research underway.  He caught the eye of a man coming down the hall in scrubs.  Kaidan got his attention and showed the ID the lobby attendant had given him.  Being a Spectre did get him a few things at least.  The man listened to him and then pointed down to the left.

              The research lab finally.  They didn’t make it easy to find, but then again how many outsiders needed to find it.  Kaidan scanned in.  The room was a tall open space bustling with white coats.  A few people looked up with frown as he flashed them his ID and walked through scanning their faces.  He peeked through an open office doorway and then another.  His eyes fell on a brunette watching him from a workstation in the corner.  Her dimples showed in a wide grin as she caught him looking back at her.  No, that wasn’t her.  He’d only met her once … twice?  He didn’t need to study the woman in the corner any more than that warm smile.  Disqualified.

              He walked along a bank of windows as he moved further back into the lab.  He glimpsed lab counters through the windows and a person here and there.  He stopped.  He stepped back to a window and looked again.  The door didn’t even need his ID to open. 

              Gray light from the windows reflected off the metallic countertops along the wall.  A laboratory bench ran down the middle of the room.  There was an antiseptic smell and stainless-steel look to the whole room.  Everything a medical research lab should be.  Had Shepard laid in a room like this for two years draped under a white canopy on a cold metal table?  It gave him a chill.

              A woman standing at the far counter that faced the wall gave a long sigh and glanced over her shoulder. 

“Paula, who …”

              She wrinkled her brow letting the sentence hang unfinished.  The other woman in the room, “Paula” apparently, stood at the lab bench.  She took a step closer and squinted at his badge.  From the look she shot up at him, she must have even read the fine lettering.  She picked up a tray of petri dishes off the bench and scurried out of the room.  The door slid swished shut behind her.

              The woman at the counter set a datapad down as she turned to face him.

              “Oh.  It’s you.”  She crossed her arms.

              “Miranda.”

              “Kaidan Alenko.” Her face looked back at him flatly.  No smile.

              He hadn’t expected her to smile.  That hard gleam as her eye though, he wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t see his breath when he spoke.

              “I suppose there’s a reason you’re here.”  She cocked her head.  “Not a social call, I imagine.”

              “No.”

With some effort, he prodded himself and crossed the rest of the steps to stand a few steps in front of her.

“What do you want?” she asked.

Maybe he should start with asking how she was or some sort of platitude to break the ice.  But it didn’t seem like the ice was likely to break whatever he threw at it.  It might make her more annoyed by not just driving right to the point.  She seemed like a person that liked to get to the point.

“Hi, Miranda.”

She raised an eyebrow and leaned back against the counter.  Kaidan shifted.

“I’ll get straight to the point,” he said.

“By all means.”

“There was an incident on the Normandy.”

Miranda’s eyes brightened.  Her back straightened, and she stood away from the counter.

“Something happened to Shepard,” Kaidan said.  “Something to do with her biotics.”

“Damnit.”  Miranda crumpled her hands into fists and brought one to her forehead.  She turned to the side.  “Is she …”  She closed her eyes briefly then looked back to him with a deep breath.  “Is she dead?”

“No,” Kaidan blurted.  Damn.  He hadn’t meant to imply that.  He’d died waiting for James to finally answer the question about Shepard. 

“What happened?” Miranda asked.

“She’s unconscious.”

“How long?”

“A few days, I think.”

“She’s on the Normandy?”

“For now.  They’re transporting her back on another vessel.”

“What does Dr. Chakwas say?”

Kaidan went cold. 

“Dr. Chakwas was on board?” he asked.

Miranda stared at him with the hint of a frown.

“Yes,” she said slowly.

Kaidan swallowed and stared down at the floor not really seeing it for a time.  When he looked back up, Miranda was tapping the counter with her fingers and gave him an expectant look.

“Well?” she said.

Kaidan hadn’t wanted to go into that part of it.  Didn’t know if he should tell anyone outside of the Council.  He needed her though.  She was going to find out eventually if she helped him.  With that crease on her brow and that intensity in her stare, yes, she would help.  He didn’t know her well, but she must care about Shepard to some level to have that look.

“The medical providers are dead,” Kaidan said softly.

Miranda stormed right up to him.

“Dead?” she hissed.

“Gunfire was exchanged.  There were casualties.  Shepherd was hurt when she used her biotics.”

“How badly?”

Kaidan shook his head.  “Unconscious.  I don’t know much more.  That’s why I came for you.  We can communicate with the Normandy.  There are a few officers with medic training.  They’ll transport her to Jump Zero, but it will be days before she gets real medical care.”

“They can’t help anyway,” Miranda muttered.

She moved to a side counter, shoved over a microscope, and searching through some papers and datapads. 

“Her pupils aren’t reactive,” Kaidan said.

Miranda paused hands spread across a pile of datapads.  Kaidan waited then took a step forward.

“What did she do with her biotics?” Miranda spun around.

“Something big.”

“Damnit.”  Miranda’s voice came out strangled, and she turned away again.

She didn’t touch the datapads but just leaned forward on her arms, fingers sprayed on the counter top, and head down.  It was unexpected.  Maybe he had been wrong about her.  She’d been so cold the times he’d met her.  She must actually really care about Shepard and not just as a pinnacle of her life’s work.

“Miranda …” He came up beside her.

“I’m fine.”

She turned her face away from him toward the opposite wall.  Her breathing sounded even but it was loud enough to be audible.  Kaidan’s heart beat in his ears.   Her reaction, she seemed … He wasn’t sure. Defeated maybe.  It didn’t make sense. 

“Miranda …”

“Stop staring at me that way,” she said.

She pushed aside one of the datapads and snatched the one underneath.  She turned on her heels to face him with a dull, flat stare.

“Let’s go. I assume that’s why you’re here.  You want me to talk to them.”

Kaidan nodded. “Yes.”

Miranda pointed to the door with the datapad in her hand.  “Then let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

Kaidan kept pace with her as she tore down the hospital hallway chewing her lips.  Kaidan pointed to a hallway on their left, the way he’d come in.

“This way,” he said.

“No,” Miranda said.  “This way is faster.”

She didn’t even wait to see if he’d follow.  Some salarians in lab coats watched them pass with wide curious eyes.  There were no patients in this wing.  Who funded the research here anyway?  The Council?

Miranda looked sideways at him.  “You seem … calm.”

“On the outside.”

She gave a soft snort and picked up her pace.  “Could fool me.”

Kaidan shot her a frown.  “What does that mean?”

Miranda didn’t answer.  It was too quiet in the hall for her not to have heard him.  An exit loomed at the end of the hall.  As the went through, a blast of cold air whipped into them replacing the scent of bleach with rain.  Misty droplets speckled the landing pad’s cement.  Miranda wrapped her arms around herself as she charged over to a terminal and hailed a city skycar.

“Where’re we going?” she yelled overtop the wind.  Hair swirled around her face.

Kaidan leaned over the terminal.  “Alliance Headquarters.  Council section.”

It didn’t take long for a skycar to appear.  The doors lifted open and Miranda clamored inside.  She typed in the destination as Kaidan climbed in after her.  The roar of the wind cut away as the door cinched shut.  The autopilot engaged, and the skycar lifted with a low hum.  Specks of rain chaning to large, fast drops pelted the windows.  Miranda pinched away wet strands of hair plastering to her face.  One strand caught in her lip glass.  She caught him watching her and narrowed her eyes.

“Why’re you looking at me?”

“Thanks for coming.”

Miranda smoothed her hair and adjusted it in the reflection of the shuttle’s window.  “Damn weather.”

The shuttle turned into the flow of other skycars moving the same direction.  Miranda closed her eyes with a sigh and leaned back in the seat.  They rode in silence except for the patter of rain.  Headquarters was still too distant to make out in the rain.

“This is exactly what I feared for Shepard.  I told her--” Miranda cut off her hot words.  She still had her eyes closed.  She let out a long breath.  “But that doesn’t matter anymore, does it?”

“Guess not.”

Miranda’s eyes cracked open, and she turned to look at him.  “Why aren’t you more upset?”

“I am upset.”

“No,” Miranda said raising her hands and picking idly at her nails.  “I thought, that night at Shepard’s party … I was under the impression, you were sleeping together.”

Kaidan swallowed, “Hmm ... uh—”

“Nevermind.  Maybe it was a one-night thing.  I don’t care.  What you said to her the first time we met at that colony with the Collectors, I thought you were a jackass, but I got the impression you cared about Shepard.  No one gets that upset over something they don’t care about.”

“I do care.”

“Well …” She folded her arms and spared him a sideways glance before staring out through the watery glass.  “Maybe that night at the party or nights, whatever, you both worked it out of your system.  Hell knows, we’ve all done it.  Stressful time, needing a release.  I won’t judge.  You came and got me, so I’ll give you that.”

Kaidan’s jaw clenched.  He crossed his arms and stared out the side window.  Worked it out of their system -- as if that’s all he and Shepard were to each other.  Not on his side, not by a long shot.  Shepard though … He glanced sideways at Miranda.  No.  What did Miranda know of it anyway?  Shepard wasn’t the type to sit around and girl-talk.  Miranda hadn’t said Shepard actually told her anything.  It was all presumption on Miranda’s part, but still the thought … It twisted his stomach to think it was just that, only that, in the end.

“I love Shepard,” he said quietly.

Miranda shifted and squinted at him.  “Then why …” Her brow creased, and she looked distant.  Her eyes widened.  She sat upright and looked at him.  “Wait.  You must think … You think I can fix her, don’t you?”

“You can’t?”  Kaidan frowned.

“From what you said, if that’s all true, this is serious.”

“I understand it’s serious.  All those times you—”

“Stop.”  She stared hard at him.  Kaidan forced himself to hold her eyes.  “I can’t keep fixing her.”

“Did she tell you to--”

“Damnit, Kaidan!”

Kaidan flinched. 

“Listen to me,” she snapped.  “I can’t keep fixing her.  This isn’t some damned Do-Not-Resuscitate contract Shepard and I drew up.”  Kaidan opened his mouth, but Miranda cut him off again.  “I know that’s what you were going to say.”

“Not like that.”

“However you wanted to word it.  The same thing.”

Kaidan just shook his head and looked at her.  “Miranda, you brought her back from the dead.  She was dead for two years.”

“And, it took two years.”

“There’s no time frame here.”

“Kaidan!” Miranda smacked the dashboard and jabbed a finger at him.

Kaidan tensed.  She licked her lips and glanced around as if thinking.  Finally, she turned back and met his eyes.

“Here.  Think of it like this -- there’s a vase.  The first time it drops, it breaks.  You gather all the pieces, epoxy them back together.  Hard work, but you do it.  The second time it falls, it breaks along the old enamel and makes new cracks, breaks into smaller pieces.  You almost can’t, but you put it back together.  Now, the third time it falls, well that time, it doesn’t break.  It shatters.”

Air leaked out of Kaidan’s lungs as they stared at each other.

“You understand what I’m saying, Kaidan?  Shepard’s already been fixed twice, and that last time was damn hard and almost didn’t happen.  Look at what happened to her biotics.  Shepard isn’t immortal, in fact, far from.  If she’s unconscious, non-reactive pupils … At some point the vase just shatters, Kaidan.”

Miranda broke their gaze, glanced out the window, and grabbed her datapad.  She turned back to him.

“We’re here.”

The skycar settled onto the landing pad.  Kaidan’s body moved stiff and slow like barely defrosted meat.  He stumbled out of the car into the torrent of wind and rain.  He led her to the Council QEC communication rooms, but couldn’t keep his eyes lifted above the floor.  They turned the corner.  Liara paced by the guarded entrance to the restricted area of the Council wing.  She saw them and stopped.

“Kaidan!  By the goddess, you look … what happened?”  She rushed to them.

“Dr. T’Soni.”  Miranda inclined her head.

Liara darted a look at her.  “Miranda Lawson. Good to see you.”  She was already turning back to Kaidan.  She put a hand on his arm.  “Are you okay?”

“Liara.”  Kaidan shrugged off her hand.  “I’m okay.  Really.”

“What’s happened?” Liara looked back and forth between them.  “Something’s gotten worse, hasn’t it?”

Miranda sighed and looked over at Kaidan.

“Let go,” Kaidan said.

He approached the guard at the hallway entrance.  The guard handed Kaidan a datapad.  Kaidan put in his information and handed it back.  The guard waved them through.  Liara fell in beside Kaidan and kept her voice low.

“Kaidan, your messages were so sparse.  I came earlier than you said hoping to see you.  I don’t understand all of this.”

Kaidan’s throat felt like it might crack and bleed it was so dry.  He swallowed and glanced over at her as they walked.

“I couldn’t write everything.”  He kept his words even and quick.  “I’ll explain later.”

He led them up to wide gray doors and punched in a code.  They doors slid apart.  They were here.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 9**

 

“Do you really think I even know what that means?” said the holographic image of a woman in marine fatigues running a hand through her dark pixie-cut hair.

Miranda’s heels clicked on the platform as she paced with hand on her hips.  She waved a hand at the woman.

“You don’t have to understand it. That’s my part.  Just do it.”

They continued to argue.  Occasionally, another medic-trained soldier off the Vespus would pop in and say something, but his answers had become increasingly soft spoken as Miranda shot them apart.  Apparently, neither Jensen’s medic training or the Vespus officer’s were up to Miranda’s standards.  Then again, they’re probably weren’t many who were.

Liara rested against the wall next to Kaidan.  “That’s it then?  All of it?”

“Every word,” he said.

Every word except for all the veiled references to his fraternization with Shepard, and Admiral Hackett’s advice in the hallway.  His advice hadn’t really been meant for sharing anyway.  Kaidan’s face heated just recalling the conversation and the things Admiral Dumas had said.  Everyone knew.

Kaidan exhaled and looked around the room.  He was trained as a medic, and he couldn’t follow all Miranda’s medical jargon.  Admittingly, the migraine didn’t help that fact.  Miranda pointed between Corporal Jensen and the Vespus medic and said something about EEG tracings.  Without equipment and unable to see anything first hard, Miranda’s voice was only getting shriller with each repeated point she threw at them.

“Do you think they’ll really suspend you?” Liara asked.

Kaidan glanced over.  “Admiral Wilson’s furious.  The Admiral Board’s been going over it for days.  Saw Flight Admiral Payne outside the Parliamentary Chambers.  He practically drew a finger across his neck at me and grinned.”

Liara knit her eyebrows together.  “What … what does that mean? Why would he do that?”

“He didn’t.  Just felt like he’d wanted to.  You know, slit throat?”

“Oh.”  She frowned harder.  “And all this will go on your permanent record?”

“I’m sure.”

“Goddess, I never meant for this to happen.”

“No, Liara, I’m glad you contacted me.  I want to be here.  If I had been on assignment already and all this happened, I just learned after … I’m just glad you called me.”

Miranda shot them a deep frown over her shoulder and cleared her throat.

“What’s that?” Corporal Jensen said.  “I’m having trouble hearing.”

Miranda turned back to her.  “Sorry.  There’s noise on my side.”

Kaidan glanced at Liara.  He trotted up the platform steps to Miranda.  He whispered to her before turning back.  She was good to stay here for a while.  The Vespus would be leaving soon, but Miranda had all the time until then.  She’d been Cerberus, true, but she’d done a lot since then for the Council and, if looking at it from a medical perspective, for everyone.  She was clear as far as he was concerned, and the Council had said it was his prerogative to use the quantum entanglement communicator.

“Let’s go,” Kaidan whispered to Liara and motioned his head toward the doorway.

They walked down the hallway silently before pausing at the guard station.  Kaidan filled out information at the guard’s terminal and then ushered Liara forward.

“Where are we going?” she said picking up her steps.

“Are you hungry?”

“I guess.  Why so fast?”

“I’m going to fall down if I don’t eat something.  That, or give myself a worse migraine.”

“Here.”  She reached in a side pocket and held out more pills.

Kaidan laughed.  “Liara.  Where are you getting those?”

He snatched them from her palm.

“They’re not illegal,” Liara said.

“I didn’t say they were.” 

Maybe not illegal, but you didn’t just walk in anywhere and buys these pills.  He rolled them back and forth in his hand as they turned into the main hallway.  People bustled around them in dinner clothes and clubwear.  The commercial sections of HQ must be heating up.  Darkness obscured everything outside the windows as they continued down the hall.

“Aren’t you going to take them?” Liara asked nodding at his hand.

He opened his palm.  Two green capsules.  He shoved them into his pocket.

“Not yet.  We’ll see.  I try not to if I can avoid it.”

“Well …” Liara shrugged.  “I have more.”

Kaidan stumbled with a laugh.  “Liara!  Why do you have these?” 

“In case, you needed them.  I thought that was apparent.”

Kaidan grinned over at her.  “I’m not sure if that makes you my drug dealer or my mom.”

Liara frowned with a soft snort.

“I’m joking.”  Kaidan elbowed her.  “No really, Liara.  That’s very nice of you.  You’re a good friend.”

“Hmm.”

“Better than I deserve.”

He slowed their pace.  Liara glanced at him.

“I suppose that’s an apology for thinking I’d sell your information on the black market?”

“No,” Kaidan said.  “This is: Liara, I’m sorry I thought you’d sell my information on the black market.  I was an ass.”

“Well.”  She grinned.  “I like the last part.”

The Council area fell back behind them as they moved into the commercial section.  Brightly colored lights flashed around them in a rush of loud conversations and advertisements.  Skycars settled on landing pads outside the open door.  Cologne and fast food mingled in the air.

“It’s good to see you laughing, Kaidan.”

“Yeah?  You too, Liara.”

“Yes.”  Liara was quiet for a moment as they walked.  “Shepard.  She will be all right.”

Kaidan didn’t say anything.  His chest tightened.  He pulled the pills out his pocket and popped them in his mouth, swallowed.

“Yeah,” he said.  “Of course.”

Liara studied him out of the corner of her eye.

“Of course,” she echoed.

 

* * *

 

They stumbled to the corner of some Elcor vid and game shop.  Neon lights flashed over the heads of a group of sallow skinned humans as they hunched together passing something around.  Kaidan squinted at them before he ducked around the corner of the shop into the dark.  He didn’t care.  Not tonight.  The lights and activity cut off in the shadowed recess between two shops.  Taking those pills early probably saved him being flat on his back right now, eyes scrunched, willing himself to sleep. He’d probably be willing himself to sleep to escape more than the migraine. 

Instead, he tripped against Liara before they pressed their backs against the far wall grinning at each other.  Maybe a little buzzed.  Maybe.  That fried food place, first place they found with food, bad idea.  All that grease and Liara saying over and over with only slight variation, “By the goddess, this is horrible.  Humans eat this?”  But she’d still been straining to grab another fry as Kaidan dropped it into the garbage.  Greasy handed, maybe turning a little green, they’d gone downtown.only to find something better to eat. The Vancouver Alliance District, shore leave central -- Shops, cafes, bars.  Lot of places with drinks.  Liara’s head lolled against his shoulder flashing him a loopy grin.  Maybe they’d spent a little too much time around those places.  Kaidan knew where to draw the line.  That hadn’t stopped him from going right up to it though.  Not tonight.  Taking that medication, it always did this.  He felt drowsy and scrambled.  Without it though, he’d be in pain and scrambled.  He’d caught it early this time.

Swaying against him, Liara laughed into his ear.  She might not have caught herself at the line.  Maybe she didn’t know her line.  He’d never seen her drink, not in all the time they’d spent together.  Then again, ten months of that time had been returning home on the Normandy, a pretty dry time all around.  James though, bored and no booze, it was practically prohibition to him.  He’d started his own Speak Easy.  One taste of his brews though, only the hard-up’s came back for more.  Sometimes that had been Kaidan.

“Then … then …” Liara slurred hugging his arm.  “Wait, wait, wait … the best part—”

“Kaidan?  Liara?”

Kaidan lowered his head and squinted into the lights.  A shadow came forward into the flashing neon across the alley’s entrance.

“Tali?” Kaidan said.

“Tali!” Liara pointed.

A blended form in the background sharpened coming up beside Tali and eying them.

“And Garrus!” Liara grinned.

Kaidan straightened. “What are you two up to?”

Tali’s helmet looked over to Garrus standing beside her and then back at Kaidan.

“I was going to ask the same thing.”

“Maybe we don’t need to ask,” Garrus said.

His eyes shifted between Liara and Kaidan.  His eyes stopped on something head cocking slightly.  Kaidan followed his gaze to Liara’s hand clutching his arm.  Maybe Tali was looking at the same thing.  Kaidan couldn’t tell.  Tali took a step back.

“Oh,” she said swinging her mask to Garrus.  His mandible clicked but Kaidan couldn’t be sure what his turien body language was telling her.  Tali turned back sharply and stepped back again.  “Sorry, Kaidan, Liara.  We’ll just … be going.”

Kaidan lurched forward tipping Liara off balance against him.

“Wait.  No, no, no.  It’s not—”

“Don’t worry.” Garrus waved him off with a talon.  “We know you and Shepard aren’t … uh, well, no judgement here.  We’ll just … go.  Come on, Tali.”

Tali’s helmet bobbed.  She turned away with Garrus.

Kaidan took a step after them.  “You’re misunderstanding.”

Garrus glanced back at him and then Liara.  She slumped against the wall, pawing at it as she tried to stay upright.

“As far as Tali and I,” Garrus said, “we didn’t run into you.  Don’t worry about it.  Have a good night, you two.”

Kaidan stared wide-eyed.  Garrus grabbed Tali under the elbow and moved off.

Tali’s voice was low.  “They broke up, right?  He’s not, uh …”

“Oh, no,” Garrus said.  Kaidan could barely hear him.  “They’re long over.”

They disappeared down the walkway.  A skycar blasted air as it passed overhead.  Kaidan stood in blinking neon and shifted on his feet, buzz totally gone.  Just the headache was left and the fuzziness from the pills.  Liara sank against the wall hand trailing above her until she settled on the pavement with a thump.  Her head lolled forward, and Kaidan rushed over.

“Liara?  You okay?”

“By the goddess,” she gurgled and rolled her head back with a weak grin.  “Do you think I say that too much?  Am I too … crass?”

“You can say whatever you want.”

“Oh, good, that’s good.” She tipped sideways and spread a palm on the ground to steady herself It slipped, and she toppled over.  Kaidan caught her under the arms.

“Liara.”  He peered into her face.  She looked back with hooded eyes.  “You think you can walk all right?”

“Me?” She mumbled a string of intelligible words smiling.  Her eyelids drooped close then popped back open.  They started to droop again.

“Oh …” Kaidan exhaled watching her.  “Liara, I should have … I’m sorry.  Here.”

He lifted her up.  Her head flopped onto his shoulder.  He’d better be careful.  All that tossing around, and he didn’t need _that_ added to the mix.  From her scrunched expression though, maybe unavoidable.  Her body tensed.  She leaned over his arm and threw up.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 10**

Kaidan woke with a sharp, throbbing headache.  That wasn’t too much out of the usual, but this one was sharper and in the front.  His stomach turned as he sat up and blinked into the light.  Light shined through his window.  Kaidan fumbled for the Omni-Tool on his nightstand and caught himself before he rolled off the bed.  It was late morning already.  Damnit.  How had he slept … well, he knew.  The memory crashed down on him.  He swung his feet off his bed and held his head in his hands.  His forehead pulsed hotly, slick with sweat.

“Shower,” he murmured to himself.

He pressed his fingers against his eyelids for a moment before stumbling across the room.  Squinting, he tore at the cord for the window blinds and then leaned heavily against the wall.  He palmed the loaner Omni-Tool in his hand before sliding it on.  He flashed on the screen.  Bright!  He snapped his face away.  He’d really done it now.  All that movement then the burst of light right by his face.  Stupid.  Decisions while having a migraine tended along those lines.  His head was splitting apart now.

He threw open a cabinet door in the bathroom and groped for his pill bottle.  He shook two capsules into his hand.  His forehead pulsed with knives.  He squeezed his eyes shut and steadied his breath.  He tapped out another pill.  After throwing them back in his mouth, he lowered his head to the facet and took a long drink.  It washed his mouth’s dry stickiness.  His mouth definitely hadn’t been dry last night though.

How stupid.  He slumped heavily onto the closed toilet lid and leaned his head forward into his hands.  When was the last time he’d drank so much?  Never while serving on the Normandy, not even during shore leave, not even on the trip back to Earth with James’s moonshine flowing.  Never on duty for certain.  It must have been years.  He’d come down on his students for it -- losing inhibitions in public.  Biotics had to be more responsible.  It was just dumb.  He’d done a lot of dumb things as a kid, but as an adult he did a lot less.  Though perhaps that’s when he’d made the dumbest move -- fraternization.  Still worth it.

He slumped from the toilet seat onto the cool of the linoleum floor.  This was all about Shepard.  He’d spent so much time last night just trying to wash the anxiety away.  Hell of a friend really.  She’s lying comatose and one of her only friends that knows about it is out drinking all night and lying in bed all morning to forget it.

After the destruction of the first Normandy, he’d drowned himself.  The whole thing with the Normandy exploding under his feet, staff dying, struggling to organize the survivors on Alchera -- it gave him more of an excuse than he had now.  It felt worse than that time though.  He could be just forgetting, or maybe it was that their relationship had become even more than it was then.  At least on his side, it had grown.  

Miranda’s words played over in his head.  He shoved them aside.  No, it had meant something to Shepard too.  She’d told him she loved him.  But then, that had been hours before staring the end of existence in the face.  Wrapped up in it all, everyone said things they maybe wished to take back.  Shepard had nearly said that exact thing in her apartment the night he pushed in on her.  Maybe, in the end, that’s all they really were -- bed fellows, but not to him.  He’d never felt that way about it, even in the beginning.  Never would.

His breathing eased, and he rubbed his hands over his face.  Shower.  Right.  His Omni-Tool lit up.  He’d meant to check his messages earlier, only it had been some damn bright.  His eyes were getting used to the overhead light in the bathroom though.  Eyes narrowed, he brought up the Omni-Tool’s screen and lowered its brightness.

There was a message from Miranda.  Brief.  Brief and cutting.  Well, she was right.  Abandoned her?  Pretty much.  He sighed.  He’d write back an apology when he could think straight.  How he felt now, that might be tomorrow.  He’d have to do it sooner than that though.  He’d found it was better to narrow the time between an offense and apology as much as possible.  Too much lag time, and the necessary eloquence of the apology would outpace what he was capable of composing.  Not that he ever meant it less, maybe even meant it more, but that didn’t necessarily carry through in words.

Kaidan’s fingers scrolled back to the top of Miranda’s message, and he re-read it.  Nothing about Shepard’s status, just a beratement of him.  Maybe she knew that would “show him” -- holding back the one thing he wanted to really know.  If something had happened since he’d left, Miranda would have said so though.  She probably would’ve called, and he hadn’t missed any calls. 

The next message was from Admiral Hackett.  The Vespus was underway.  The Normandy was still under repaired for its limp back to Jump Zero.  Most of the Normandy’s crew had been transferred.  Kaidan smiled wanly envisioning them prying Joker’s fingers from the helm.  At one time that image would have felt like a knife wound.  Shepard had been spaced, but she’d come back. Old grievances could be spaced too.  Everyone made dumb mistakes, it was being able to learn from them that made up for making them.  In the end, Joker had been there for Shepard when Kaidan hadn’t.

There was a message from the Admiral Board.  A time and place for the hearing scheduled today.  That would be … well, horrible.  He’d be horrified more if it wasn’t foiled against his turmoil over Shepard.  If Shepard died … He lurched up and turned on the shower.  He couldn’t think that way.  He turned the water to cold.

If Shepard died, Kaidan didn’t care what else happened.  Next to that, nothing mattered.  He’d live the rest of his life half alive.  How could he have thought he was half alive a few days ago, when Shepard was vital and healthy, alive, and on the Normandy?  Just because she wasn’t with him?  How selfish, self-consumed.  And now if she died … No.  He’d remember this if she lived, _when_ she lived.  She didn’t need to be with him. She could be with anyone, he didn’t care.  Honestly, and to himself, he truly wouldn’t care.  Couldn’t care.  She just had to live.  Even if he never saw her again.  Even if she forgot about him.  Even if what Miranda had said was true.  It didn’t matter.  If she lived, he would be satisfied.  He’d learn to be and remember that promise to himself.

The cold water stung as he stepped into the spray.  He needed to wash away more than just sweat and dirt.  He had to refocus.  He could still help.  There were still things he could do.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 11**

“Major Alenko.”

Kaidan turned.  Admiral Hackett pulled his jacket taut as he stood up from one of the Alliance hallway couches.  Had he been waiting here?

“Admiral.”

“How did it go?” Hackett glanced at the door behind Kaidan.

“Suspended.”

Hackett drew in a sharp breath but gave a nod.  “I suppose that’s not unexpected.”

Kaidan shrugged dropping his eyes.  He could feel Hackett’s eyes on him, but Kaidan didn’t want to meet them.  He waited.  The admiral shifted on his feet then motioned down the hall.

“We can go.  I’ll walk with you a ways.”

Their boot tapped on the marbled tiles as they walked side by side.  Kaidan couldn’t put enough distance between himself and that room.  Admiral Wilson’s face had been so red, Kaidan could have seen the color even in black and white.  If you really could see someone’s vein pulsing out of their forehead, Kaidan would have seen Wilson’s.  Flight Admiral Dumas and the others too, but better not to think of it now.  Kaidan released a breath he’d been holding and tried to shake it off.

“I know what it must have been like,” Hackett murmured.

Kaidan kept silent.

“How long?” Hackett asked.

“Thirty days.”

Hackett stumbled but recovered his stride.  “Thirty days?

“Yes.”

“Then?”

“Reinstated,” Kaidan said.  “Probationary, I’m sure.”

Hackett shook his head.  “We’re still trying to manage balancing an Alliance officer with being a Spectre.  Only makes it muddier all crammed together on Earth in the same building.  I think it would be safe to say that when in Alliance offices or the field talking to Alliance officers, you’re Major Alenko.  Outside of that with the civil government, Council, other races, you’re Spectre Alenko.”

“I got that,” Kaidan said flatly.

“I imagine you did.  But, uh … hold on, Major.”  Hackett stopped.

Kaidan took a deep breath and crossed his arms before turning to face Hackett.  Not again.  Kaidan couldn’t handle it today.  Hackett meant well Kaidan was sure, but he was done with it.  Hackett regarded him levelly.

“They’re threatened by the power the Council gave you.  Intimidated by you and Shepard.  And Shepard … she … well, she can rub people the wrong way, especially those in authority.  Her celebrity, public image, Spectre status, they can’t reconcile it with that of an Alliance Staff Commander and subordinate.  For those that don’t know her, it makes them defensive, reactive.  They want to strike first, resolve a problem that hasn’t become one yet.”  Hackett sighed but then gave Kaidan a weak smile.  “And they like you.”

Kaidan lifted his eyebrows with a snort and looked off.

“No, they do.”  Hackett gave Kaidan’s arm a fatherly pat.  “Trust me, they do but they’re threatened.  You’re collateral damage to them.  They know this whole thing was an anomaly compared to the rest of your service record, but they want to send a message.  Just stay low.  Do your duty to the Council, but around the Alliance, keep your head down.  They’ll forget this soon enough.  Then compartmentalize the roles.  You’ll go far, Alenko, you will.  Trust me.  Admiral Wilson … well, several years from now, he may be taking orders from you or at least meeting you on more level ground.  Maybe I will too.”  He smiled.  “Hopefully retire before then though.”

“And Shepard?” Kaidan asked.

“Same for her.  She keeps her head down, big things in store for both of you.”

Kaidan stared at the floor.  “Right.”

“Right,” Hackett repeated.  “Maybe you can use this time for something better.  The Council could certainly use the help.”

Kaidan nodded weakly and waited for Hackett to dismiss him.  Hackett let him go.


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 12**

Kaidan picked up his pace as he made his way out of the Alliance leadership office wing.  The guards nodded at him as he passed into the grand entrance hall.  Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose and took another deep breath.  His Omni-Tool beeped but Kaidan silenced it with his other hand.  He took the hall straight ahead.  He didn’t even know where he was going.  He was getting away from something, not going somewhere.  People bustling around him, a few shoved against him.  Foot traffic swelled as he walked further.  This was the main hall leading across the building to the Council wing.  Kaidan scurried out of the way and down a darker, quieter residential hallway.  His Omni-Tool lit up again with but flashed this time.  A comm call then.  Kaidan checked it.  Ah, Miranda.  Kaidan gave a long sigh and paused over the answer button before just jamming his finger on it.  Her face lit up the holoscreen as he raised his arm higher to meet her eyes.

“Finally decided to stop ignoring me, Kaidan?” Miranda asked folded her hands and leaning forward on a desk. 

Metal and black leather furniture filled the background.  Gray walls hung with some abstract etchings too far away to really make out.

“Sorry.  I was in a meeting,” he said.

A woman turned the corner of the hallway as Miranda gave him a flat look.

“Last night, too?  You sneak out after some vague whisper and won’t return any of my messages.  Got what you wanted, then bored, take off.”

The woman looked up from her Omni-Tool with an impish grin and glanced at Miranda’s image on the holoscreen.  Her eyes sized him up with a small smirk as she passed. 

“Kaidan?” Miranda said.  “Hey!”

Kaidan snapped his head back.  “I’m in a public hallway.  Where can I meet you?”

Miranda seemed to consider it looking down at her interlaced fingers.  She sat back.

“Fine.  I’m at my apartment.  I’ll send you the address.”

“See you soon.”

He turned off the screen and let his arm hang as he leaned back against the wall.  Suspended.  A different Kaidan, a Kaidan years younger, would be crestfallen.  Even now though, it kind of felt like getting a failing grade, standing around staring at the report card, and waiting for his parents to find out.  There wasn’t anyone to disappoint but himself though.  There was probably other ways to have gone about it better than storming offices.  That was a useless line of thought though.  What was done was done.  Shepard was right.  He did think too much.

His Omni-Tool chirped.  Miranda must have sent the address.  Liara may want to come, but she probably needed a day at home.  His head still felt stuffed with glass.  Each movement and change in position ached.  If he was busy enough, it would blur away to an annoyance.  He’d take the quieter hallways to for the nearest skycar platform.

The image of Tali and Garrus flashed in front of him -- garish store lights strobing over them as Garrus stared at him.  Kaidan sighed and touched his forehead pushing the image away.  He checked him Omni-Tool to confirm it.  He had Miranda’s address.

 

* * *

 

“Tonight?” Kaidan turned following Miranda as she pushed past him.

She stopped over a small shipping container and set case full of medicine vials inside.  Assorted medical supplies, laboratory equipment, tools and various scanners and datapads littered the floor around her.  She squatted down and sorted through the clutter.

“It would be right now if I could,” Miranda said.  She sat back on her haunches.  “Now where …”

“How?” Kaidan asked.

Miranda flicked her eyes up at him before pulling over another shipping box and digging through it.

“Supply freighter.  Already talked to the merchant captain.  We’ve come to an arrangement.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“I have a Council meeting this afternoon on this.”

“So?”

“So …” He sighed. 

She rubbed an eye with the back of her hand and took a slow breath before turning back to the clutter.

“Were you up all night?” he asked.

Miranda didn’t answer.  She pushed up off her knees as she stood.  The desk she’d called him from sat against the window behind her.  She crossed over to it and pulled a bulky microscope across the glass top to the edge.  She grunted to lift it.  Kaidan moved her aside and picked it up.

“I didn’t ask for help.”

“I didn’t think you did.”

He waited until she sighed and motioned to the larger shipping box by the couch.  They were both biotics, but she looked as weary as he felt.  No reason to add on that fatigue.  He settled the microscope into the bottom of the box shoving over a scanner paddle and some smaller boxes.  His hand paused over a small white case the size of his palm.

“Is this …” He held it up turning to her.  “Tell me this isn’t …”

“It is.”  Miranda griped the edge of the desk behind her and leaned back.  “Look.  We—”

“This could kill her.” 

He came over to her holding up the case.  She leaned forward and snatched it from his hand.

“And if it doesn’t, she’s already dead.  At least with this, there’s a chance.”

“She’s not young and plastic enough for that, Miranda.”

“You don’t think I’m aware of that?” Miranda hissed.  “It may be the only way.”

“It’ll kill her,” Kaidan repeated.

“What would you have me do, Kaidan?  I care about Shepard.  Don’t you think I want the best for her too?”

They stared at each other.  Kaidan’s jaw tightened as Miranda’s eye narrowed.  She turned the case over absently in her hands.  Soft footsteps tapped down the hallway carpet to his right.  Miranda glanced over with a sigh.

“It’s fine, Oriana.  You can come out.”

“Sorry,” she murmured sneaking by them to the kitchen.  She threw a sly glance back at Kaidan then turned a raised eyebrow to Miranda.

Miranda rolled her eyes.  “Hurry up.”

“Just a snack,” Oriana said.  “Just finishing up the final touches.”

“Sculpture commissioned by the Council,” Miranda said to Kaidan.  “Commemorate the war.”

“Commemorate all the races uniting,” Oriana called out from the kitchen.  “Who wants to celebrate a war?”

“Winning the war then.” Miranda shrugged.

“Well,” Oriana twirled around the corner of the kitchen with a red apple in one hand.  “It’s not really about that.”

“It’s for the Summit?” Kaidan faced her.

She grinned.  “Yep.”

Her eyes traveled him up and down as she crunched a bite out of her apple.

“Ori, please.  Just …” Miranda flicked her hand at her.  “We’re talking.  Please.”

“Very well.”

Oriana threw a final glance back as she strolled down the hallway to a far door.  Did she wink at him?

“Did she, uh …” He looked back to Miranda.

Miranda wrapped an arm around her middle supporting the other elbow as a hand hid her mouth.  Was she smirking?

“Uh …” Kaidan said.  “Your sister’s quite the … uh, tease.”

“Who’s teasing?” Oriana called down the hall just before her door slid shut.

“Doesn’t get out much.” Miranda dropped her hand away from a growing lopsided grin.  “As you can tell from her tastes.”

Kaidan shrugged with a grin.  “I wouldn’t fault her for her fine tastes.”

Miranda snorted and rolled her eyes as she stood away from the desk.  “Poor kid.  This is clearly what happens when you’re sheltered.”

She smiled fondly down the hallway.  Kaidan’s eyes moved to the white case dangling from Miranda’s hand.  He took a step closer.

“Please, Miranda.” He gestured to the box.  “Don’t do that.”

She turned back to him and glanced down at the case in her hand.  She held it up to eye level.

“Look.  You’ve got to trust that I know what I’m doing.”

Kaidan stared her silently for a moment.  Finally, he pivoted on his heel and rubbed a hand down his face with a long sigh.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay?”

Miranda peered at him as if uncertain and waiting to detect another objection.  He was silent.  She straightened and brushed past him to the shipping container and set the case down inside.

“What model?” Kaidan asked turning to watch her.

“L3.  Hard to find, but less of a shock this way.”

Kaidan nodded, silent.  His gut twisted, head still aching.  Past a certain age, replacing the biotic implant was too dangerous.  Maybe when he was younger, Kaidan could have replaced the L2 implant but now, even if he wanted to, it was long past being possible.  Biotics with established implants didn't wake up from replacement surgeries.  Even just removing it had high mortality. 

“I don’t _want_ to do it, you know,” Miranda said finally.  “I haven’t seen full scans, but from what I can tell, Shepard’s implant started a misfire.  Her whole brain’s seizing with electrical activity.  It hasn’t involved the cerebellum given she’s breathing independently, but whatever she did, it sent shockwaves from the L3.  It’s reverberating.  It won’t stop on its own.”

Kaidan lifted his shoulder and stepped over to her.  “Then remove it.  Don’t replace it.”

“You don’t understand,” Miranda said.  “Removing it does nothing.  It changes nothing.  The implant may have been the ignition, but now the whole brain is disorganized with rampant activity.  Removing it doesn’t change that.  We need another signal.  Jolt back into normal rhythms.”

“Then do it externally without an implant.”

“No.”  Miranda put her hand up.  “I know what I’m doing, Kaidan.  I’m good at it.  Very good at it.”

“I don’t doubt that, Miranda.”

“Then let me do what I’m good at.  I don’t know if that’s what will need to happen.  I won’t know until I’m there.  But if it’s what I suspect …”

Kaidan relaxed the muscles between his shoulders and slowed his respiration.  He said he would trust her. 

“In a way, she’s already dead,” Miranda added.  “It’s like someone hitting the floor in cardiac arrest.  The heart’s full of all this electrical activity, but it’s not coordinated enough to pump any blood.  So, the person’s dead, same as if the heart wasn’t moving at all.  We need to reset it.  Replacing her implant, it’s the defibrillator.”

“Okay.”  Kaidan wiped a hand down his face and paced.

“Stop pacing.  You’re making _me_ nervous.”

Kaidan stopped.  “Miranda?”

“What?”

“James said Shepard, and he wasn’t sure, but he said she spread a barrier over a shuttle as it imploded.  Is that … is that even possible?”

Miranda’s mouth opened.  “That’s what she did?”

“Is it possible?”

“You fought beside her more than I did.”

“Her skills with barriers, it’s unparalleled.  But that?  No.  Something of that size and then fineness of a weave to keep an explosion together, how impermeable it would need to be.  You rebuilt her.  With all those implants …”

“None of them would let her do that,” Miranda said.  “It’s possible her L3 lost its safety features, let her overload it, but I can’t imagine she’d be alive then.  I’m not sure.  She is good with barriers.  Damn good.  Skills grow with experience.  Maybe she did do it.”

Kaidan shook his head with pressed lips.  “An entire shuttle, though?  Covering people, sure, for a skilled biotic.  Shepard’s weave is more seamless than anyone’s I’ve seen.  But a shuttle, holding in an explosion of fire and debris?  Seems like a big leap.”

Miranda shrugged.  “Adrenaline, fear, desperation.  Circumstances propel leaps.  Don’t tell me you haven’t surprised yourself.”

“Nothing on that scale.”

“I think,” Miranda shimmered blue, “We all have our niches.”

Something scrapped against the flooring behind Kaidan.  The leather couch shimmered blue rising steadily off the floor.  Kaidan backed up as the end table glowed up.  Two wingchair across the coffee table, the coffee table, the end table’s lamp, blankets on the back of couch, a pair of shoes against the wall -- all floated shining blue.  Kaidan’s eyebrows rose, and he pursed his lips with a steady nod.  He shot a glance at Miranda, sweat shimmering on her brow, forehead pinched.  She gritted her teeth, gasped.

“Damnit.”

The blue blinked out.  Everything fell.  Miranda yelped.  Blue flashed out.  The chairs blinked. The end table, the coffee table -- quick burst across each, slowed enough to be braked before slamming onto the floor one then another.  The lamp shattered on the carpet.  The couch hung suspended with a blue halo as it settled back to the floor.

Miranda turned to Kaidan.  “Hmm, thanks.”

The blue energy faded off his skin.  The vapors still curled off his hand as the couch tapped onto the floor.

“Figured it was cheaper to replace a lamp than couch,” he said, “and chairs.”

“Caught the table.  Slowed each of the others enough to not break.  Not bad.”

“Couldn’t have lifted everything at once like that.  Couldn’t even catch it all at once.  I’m, uh, pretty impressed.  Nice couch.  Might not want to use it next time as the main set piece.”

“Hmm … only other thing in the room big enough to replace it would be you.”

“I’ll pass.”

“I give a good ride.”

Kaidan narrowed his eyes.  The smirk and haughty stare seemed to confirm it hadn’t been a slip.

“You and your sister really are twins,” Kaidan said.

Miranda chuckled.  “You’re so damned straight laced.  Thought that one might go over your head.”

“Hey.  If I wasn’t here, you’d be using your couch as a picnic blanket.”

“My, my, put me in my place, you did.”  She smirked.  “If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t have been floating all my furniture around to begin with.”

“Not all your guests get this show?”

Miranda put her hands on her hips with something like a real smile. 

“You’re not so bad, Kaidan.”

“Finally, something positive for my diary tonight.”

Miranda rolled her eyes.  “Don’t make me take it back.”

“I planned on using pencil anyway.”

“Well …” Miranda moved some books around on the floor with the toe of her boot then sank down to sort through them.  “You know how long it took me to be able to lift that -- that much, that heavy?”

Kaidan shrugged.  “I couldn’t do it.”

“Maybe with time.  It’s what you put time into.  That, and some natural proclivity, I suppose.  But to be able to do that, I won’t even tell you how long it took me to get there.  Embarrassing.  My biggest step came when I was escaping with Ori.  The path was blocked, heavy crates and construction material.  My father’s people were too close on my heels to move one at a time, and so heavy.  It felt right though, and I did it.  Now I’m even better at it.  Well, usually better than this.”

“You seemed tired when I came in.”

Miranda shrugged.  “Never have enough time.  If I practiced more, I could probably do a lot more than even that.  I can only invest in so many areas.”

“Like rebuilding someone,” Kaidan said.

“Not someone.  Just Shepard.  But yes, that didn’t come without work and preparation.”

Kaidan strolled over to where she was sorting clutter on the floor.  “I won’t dismiss it outright then -- the shuttle.”

“Do that, and stop jumping to your own conclusions.”  She pointed up at him.  “That’s what I didn’t like about you to begin with.”

Kaidan gave her a half grin.  “I’ll keep that in mind.  I do want to stay ‘not so bad.’ If I leave you an opening to take it back, I’ll have nothing to show for the day.  Nothing good.”

“Whatever.”

Miranda pulled over a box and shifted things too deep inside for Kaidan to even see.  An alarm buzzed on his Omni-Tool.

“My Council meeting.”

Miranda eyes darted up and then back to digging in her box.  “Better go.”

“Thanks, Miranda.”  He went to the door.

“For what?”

“Taking care of Shepard.  She needs you.”

“You’re not completely useless either.”  Miranda didn’t look up from the box.

“Touched.  How my journal entry grows.”  Kaidan paused in the open door.

Miranda glanced up with a twist to her lips.  “Go away.”

He backed out and let the doors slid shut.  He checked the time and moved toward the nearest skycar station.  Assuming he didn’t have trouble getting a ride, he had just enough time to get to the Council wing of Alliance HQ without being late.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 13**

The Councilors leaned together over the table speaking in heated voices.  A lot of Alliance officers and Council staff were here who Kaidan had never seen.  It wasn’t an open Council session but certainly larger than the meetings they’d had up until now.  Kaidan shifted in his seat.  He was pretty sure Admiral Wilson was a couple of rows behind him.  It felt like a hole was burning into the back of his head, but he could just be paranoid.  Kaidan slanted his head slightly to see behind.  He snapped his head back and stared forward.  Not paranoid.  Kaidan tried to concentrate on the Councilors.

“We need to investigate this.”  Sparatus slammed a talon on the table.

“No one is disputing that,” Tevos said.

“Then let’s stop going back and forth,” Sparatus said.  “A turien general, many of his officers are dead.  Assassinated.  We want one of our—”

“It’s an Alliance vessel.”  Councilor Mason pointed his finger into the table in front of Sparatus.  “There were more Alliance casualties than turien.”

“The assassins were Alliance!”

Some of the flight admirals shot out of their seats in the front row.  Mason held up his palm and turned to Sparatus.

“That’s unlikely.”

“We don’t know until we investigate,” Ilk said.

“It’s a Council matter,” Tevos pushed.  “Clearly a matter for the Spectres to investigate.”

Eyes turned to Kaidan.  He straightened in his chair.

“No Alenko,” Sparatus said.  “No offense.  This needs an impartial investigator.”

Tevos waved a hand toward Kaidan.  “He extracted information in our QEC interview that wasn’t forthcoming with the impartial interrogator.”

“I’m not an interrogator,” Mason said.  “But I see Sparatus’s point.  We need to prevent bias affecting the results of the investigator.  We can’t have doubt cast over what it turns up.  Spectre Alenko worked with Spectre Shepard in the Alliance.  This investigator needs to be unbiased in examining her relationship to the attack.  There’s only chance for a full investigation.  We can’t leave the results open to criticism in such a delicate intergalactic matter.  Alenko, I’m certain, would agree.”

The Councilors looked at him.  Kaidan could feel the Alliance admirals’ eyes on the side of his face.  He gave a sharp nod.

“Yes.”

He hated to be cut out, but Councilor Mason was right.  If his involvement could cast doubts on the exoneration of Shepard, he needed to keep apart.  Admiral Hackett had warned him that he’d need to step away at some point.  It still weighted his chest to see it taken away.  Whoever investigated it could missed something, misinterpreted, or worse, have ulterior motives in the outcome.

“We need a Spectre.  Two Spectres,” Ilk said.  “One stays on Gagarin and question injured crew as able.  The other brings back the Normandy.  It’s a crime scene.”

The Councilors heads nodded in unison.

“Marus and Sakis work together,” Tevos said turning to Ilk.

Ilk shook his head.  “Both on the Tibrus II.”

“Destroyed by that merc ship?” Tevos asked and glanced sideways at Mason with a stiff mouth.

It had to becoming up on a year since his wife’s death from that merc attack on the Tin Star.  Anniversaries like that really didn’t get easier.  Kaidan remembered. 

“Then two others?” Tevos said.

Sparatus sat forward in his seat.  “Ursul and Taccus have collaborated in the past.”

“They’re a good team,” Tevos agreed.  “Are they both in the area?”

“Giriel Ursul is.  Ror Taccus?  I’ll have to contact him.”

“Very good.”  Tevos smiled. 

“Recovering the Mass Effect Shard will a priority in a investigation, I hope,” Admiral Dumas said.

“When will they go?” Mason asked looking down at the other councilors.  “We have an Alliance vessel under Captain Grayson.  She’ll be bringing supplies and medical personnel to Gagarin.  It needs to leave soon.”

“Screen your crew well,” Ilk said out of the corner of his mouth looking down the row at Mason.

Mason twitched.  “The soldiers from Langley were not Alliance.”

“Only pretending to be,” Ilk said.  “Thus, screen your crew well.  Not an insult.  A suggestion.”

Mason’s jaw tightened.  “Have we discussed this enough? I think we’ve gone over it well enough now.”

Kaidan silently agreed and sat up higher in his chair.  These meetings discussed doing something more than working out how to do it.  Kaidan hadn’t expected to be sent, but still, it stung.  It wasn’t unexpected.  It made sense.  There was even a part of him that was relieved, not be left out of the investigation – that was going to kill him – but knowing he wouldn’t be confronted with seeing Shepard like that.  There was something maybe cowardly but self-preserving in preferring a devastating comm call to watching her die slowly in front of him, being haunted as it played over and over in his head forever.   

People stood up from creaking chairs.  Conversations rose and overlapped as everyone stared to move around again.   Kaidan rubbed his eye with his fist and stood, back popping as he straightened.  Too long just sitting.

“Alenko.”

Councilor Mason crooked his finger at Kaidan.  Tevos and Mason leaned in together talking softly as Kaidan trotted up the stairs and across the Council Chamber floor to their table.  Tevos inclined her head at Kaidan in greeting then she moved off.

“Councilor,” Kaidan greeted.

“Heard you have some free time on your hands.”

Kaidan clasped his hands behind his back, pinching a wrist so tight it hurt.  Admiral Wilson watched him from the corner of the room.  Flight Admiral Dumas and some of the others looked equally interested as they shifted to see him from the front row of seat.  They were too far to hear anything though.  Kaidan moved to the side to block the Councilor from their view.  They could just watch his back.  Maybe with their collective glare, they really could burn a hole into the back of his head.

“I’ve been suspended,” Kaidan admitted.

No use flowering it.  If the Councilor was asking, he knew.

“Suspended from Human Systems Alliance, temporarily.  Not the Council.”

Kaidan gave a slow nod.  He wasn’t sure what to make of that beyond the obvious statement.  Mason smiled affably and waited.  Kaidan hesitated.

“Is there something you need me to do?” he asked slowly.

“To do?  No,” Mason said.  “I assume you know we’d like you to take a role in the safeguarding the Summit?  Whatever can be done for security of the symposium is a priority.  How you go about that until the meeting takes place is at your discretion.  You’re a Spectre.”

Kaidan’s eyebrows creased together.  He held Mason’s eye.  The man smiled benignly back at him.  Mason’s gaze flickered over Kaidan’s shoulder, and he waved off a pair of Alliance officers coming up the stairs to them.

“In a moment,” he said around Kaidan’s shoulder.

Kaidan ran his tongue along the inside of his teeth.  He was still missing the subtext, and there had to be subtext here.  The Councilor waited.  Finally, Kaidan sighed and shifted on his feet.

“Is there something specific you’re wanting me to do?”

Mason chuckled and gave him a warm smile.  “Okay, Alenko, here it is.”  He hedged around the table and lowered his voice.  “Should you decide to take some personal time, say, support friends going through a hard time.  While supporting friends and in your personal time, the Council would understand if you, just through happenstance mind you, were to come across more information concerning the incident on the Normandy.”

Kaidan froze.  “Taccus and Ursul …”

“Will do a formal investigation.  A very good one, no doubt.  Another Spectre’s interference would certainly be taken amiss by them and also the Council.  Now should a Spectre in his person life uncover additional information relevant to the case, well I’d say, he’d be ethically bound to pass that information along.  Perhaps anonymously since it’s in your role as a civilian.  With an anonymous tip, I imagine your name wouldn’t make it into any of final public records.”

Kaidan’s eyebrows raised.  In his peripheral vision, Admiral Wilson and some of the others were rounding the sitting theater to get an angle on his conversation with Mason.  Kaidan looked over his shoulder.  A grim smile spreading across Wilson’s face when their eyes met.  Kaidan’s heart skipped and he blinked turning back to the Councilor.

The thought suddenly occurred to Kaidan that getting suspended may not be the end-all.  The Alliance could still fire him.  Interfering with a Spectre investigation would upset the Council, undoubtably.  But it was a joint mission, joint investigation in many ways.  By extension, maybe he’d be interfering with the Alliance’s directives.  Suspended and publicly ordered to step away, it would look bad if he disobeyed. 

“Spectre.”  Mason said, his smile fading as he watched Kaidan.

Kaidan took a breath and rubbed the side of his face in thought.  He looked back at the Councilor.

“I understand what you’re saying, Councilor.  I …” 

Kaidan’s eyes unfocused as thoughts rushed through his head.  It could be a huge mistaken.  Professionally, of course, but also the risk of casting doubt on the conclusions of the investigation.  What would it mean for the Summit if he botched the validity of the investigation?  What would it mean for Shepard?  It could help or hurt either one.

“Alenko.”  Mason waited for Kaidan to look back to his face.  “The Alliance ship with supplies to Gagarin and probably taking the Spectres leaves tomorrow.  It has appropriate accommodates for taking passangers.  I could be inducted, as a personal favor, to add individuals to that list.  There are already medical providers going for support.  I’ve already sent a message to Miranda Lawson.  I know she’s instrumental in Commander Shepard’s care due to past circumstances.  I can add other names too.”

Kaidan didn’t know what to say. 

“Thank you,” he said finally.

Kadian wasn’t sure on the time frame for an answer.  There were just too many things to consider first.  He felt dizzy with it.  Admiral Wilson tapped his foot watching them from the seats and checked his Omni-Tool screen.

“I’ll add your name to the list,” Mason said finally.  “You can decide to show up.”

“Dr. T’Soni.”

“What?”

“Dr. Liara T’Soni,” Kaidan said.  “Can you add her name to the list?”

Mason smiled.  “Of course.”

Kaidan nodded absently.  “Thank you.”

“Yes.  Well, continue on.”  Mason stepped back, voice returning to a normal volume.  “Take whatever time you need, Spectre, then report back to the Council to discuss security for the Summit.”

Kaidan shuffled to the stairs and caught Tevos’s eye.  She held his eyes until Kaidan reached the first stair.  She flashed him a small smile and inclined her head before turning back to two Asari Council aids.  Apparently, Mason wasn’t alone in his scheme.  There was some comfort in half the Council condoning it.  Whether they’d own to it publicly should something go wrong was a separate matter. 

The two Alliance officers who had been trying to approach Mason earlier waited on the top stair.  They saw him and moved back onto the floor.  Wilson sidled along the front row of chairs to meet Kaidan at the bottom of the steps.

“Alenko.”

“Admiral.”

Wilson nodded his chin down at Mason.

“A new Spectre assignment?”

“Nothing new.  Still focused on Terra Firma.”

“Hmph.”  Wilson studied him.  “Headed somewhere?”

“Probably get dinner.”

Wilson snorted.  “I didn’t mean right now.”

Kaidan shrugged.

“Are you going somewhere in the next few days?  Assignment for the Council, perhaps?”

Kaidan could be evasive.  He could provoke the admiral by waving Spectre confidentiality in his face.  Still, Kaidan felt his initial instinct to minimize antagonizing him was still the better route.  Wilson hated him, sure.  Taunting him further would only entrench any vendetta he had against Kaidan.  Kaidan had hurt his pride.  Pride …

Kaidan’s eyes scanned the medals hanging on Wilson’s jacket.  His eyes stopped on the Solitaire Medal.  Just like Shepard’s.  You only got that after coming through something harrowing with casualties, probably mass casualties.  Since Admiral Wilson was still here, Kaidan had to suppose he had a story probably not dissimilar to Shepard’s on Akuze.  The only one who had walked away maybe.  Wilson had a lot of medals flashing all over his vest, but this was the one he kept the picture of being rewarded.  Maybe, like Shepard, he had people to remember who should have been standing there, too, having medals pinned to their breasts.

“Alenko!  I asked you a direct question.”

Kaidan’s attention snapped back to Wilson’s darkening face.

“Sorry, sir.”  Possible answers shot through his head as his eyes strayed down to the medal again.  He looked up.  “Councilor Mason was concerned.  Wanted me to know I could take personal time if needed.”

“You need personal time to collect yourself after your suspension?”

“No,” Kaidan said.  “Some of the best soldiers I’ve served with, the ones I’m closest to, were aboard the Normandy.”

“If you--” Wilson said sharply, then cut off.  He looked at Kaidan guardedly. “Many soldiers have lost their comrades in war.  Most soldiers can pick themselves up and march on.  They don’t need time off.”

Kaidan swallowed and gave him a quick nod.  “Of course, sir.”

Wilson adjusted his weight on his feet.  “How many did you know?”

“Several, not all.  Lieutenant Commander Vega, Flight Lieutenant Moreau, Lieutenant Cortez, Engineer Adams … Dr. Chakwas.  Commander Shepard, of course.  We all served together aboard the Normandy during the reaper invasion.  We went through … a lot.”

Wilson’s gaze shifted down to Kaidan’s chest, the hard lines around his eyes eased.  “You’re planning to see them, then?”

“I have time off one job, but I haven’t decided,” Kaidan admitted, then added after a moment.  “I’m not sure if I would get in the way.”

“The way?” Wilson looked up at Kaidan and then considered it.  “I suppose you would be.”

“That’s my concern.”  Kaidan paused.

It was unnerving opening this up to him, but somehow the honesty felt right, the right way of coming at it.  Wilson fidgeted with the button on his cuff, but his eyes were clear and watching Kaidan.

“What do you think I should do?” Kaidan asked.

A deep part of Kaidan hummed with the manipulation in asking that.  His mind scrambled searching his own motives with the question hanging in the air between them.  It surprised him, but he did really mean it.  Advice from an enemy, if sincerely requested and sincerity received, could be valuable.  Hopefully, Wilson saw it the same way, not as some tactic in a game.  Wilson didn’t seem to see anything in Kaidan’s face to flare defensively over.  Instead, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and thought for a moment.

“I would …” Wilson let the words linger then shrugged pulling his hands out of his pocket.  “I would go see them.”  He met Kaidan’s eyes.  “I’d stay far clear of that investigation, mind you, but yes, I would go be with them if I could.  Fallen soldiers, injured comrades sometimes … well, it’s good to find support.”

Kaidan nodded slowly.  “Thank you, sir.”

Wilson’s fingers fidgeted more aggressively with the button on his cuff.  He cleared his throat and dropped his arms with a straightening back.  “Talk to you later, Major.”

Kaidan saluted him.  Wilson barely met Kaidan’s eye with the returned salute, but it was crisp and stood for the same length as Kaidan’s.  With that he, rushed away down a side aisle.  Flight Admiral Dumas stood against the wall by the main door.  His eyes pierced through Kaidan as Kaidan came up the main aisle to the door.  He saluted the admiral.  Dumas returned it with a tight face hardening even further.  His eyes stayed on Kaidan even as he passed out the door.  Wilson must not be the only one hoping Kaidan misstepped.  Maybe a whole clutch of admirals were gleefully rubbing their hands together to see it.  If he was exposed meddling in a high-profile investigation, they could all go in together for a pretty decent discount on the party hats.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 14**

“Consider it, Miranda,” Kaidan said into the comm in his ear. He stepped out of a city skycar.

“I am thinking about it, Kaidan, and I’m leaving tonight.”

Kaidan crossed the landing platform.  Sunset reflecting off the puddles as he crossed to the apartment building’s sliding silver and glass doors.  It was locked with a keypad set into the marble on the door frame.

“Miranda.” Kaidan sighed.

“Kaidan.” She echoed back testily.

The sliding doors opened as a human couple tripped over their formal wear embroiled in a whispered conversation. They bustled through the door sparing him a nod as they passed.  Tenets no doubt.  Kaidan slipped inside with his boots leaving a trail of watermark across the polished floor.  He’d only been here once.  True, it had been recent, but the memory wasn’t the sharpest.

“Kaidan, I have things I need to do.”

“What’s going to get you there faster – a cargo freighter or an Alliance warship?  Twenty-four hours won’t make a difference.”

Miranda didn’t say anything.  Maybe she’d ended the call.  His Omni-Tool said the comm line was still active.

“Miranda?”

“What?”

“Which is safer then?” he asked.

This hallway with the evenly spaced potted roses looked right.  The door he was looking for hadn’t been on the ground floor.  At least, he was pretty sure it hadn’t been.

“The Blue Suns will find a merchant freighter a lot more interesting than an Alliance warship,” Kaidan said.

“Tell that to the Raven or the Tin Star or the Turien’s Rathis II.”

“Can you name the freighters they’ve taken down?”

Kaidan saw the elevator.  He’d definitely taken an elevator.  That, he remembered now.  Miranda wasn’t answering.  The question had been mostly rhetorical though.

“You don’t remember. I don’t remember. Because it’s too common,” Kaidan answered anyway.  “Come on, Miranda.”

“I don’t need any Alliance favors,” Miranda blurted out.

There it was then, the real reason.  The reflective platinum doors parted, and Kaidan stepped into the elevator.  He moved to the panel of pearly button and gaped at the options.  Maybe he just needed to call for directions.  Wait, that looked right.  He punched one at the top.

“Councilor Mason is the one that added your name to the passenger list.  He’s not Alliance,” Kaidan said.

“Close enough.”

“Not really.”

“It’s an Alliance ship, right?  Somewhere in there, Kaidan, believe it or not, is an Alliance favor.”

“Miranda."  Kaidan’s eyes rolled up with a long sigh.  “Fine.  Do whatever you want.”

The floor chimed and the door whooshed open.  It was a short hallway with only three doors.  This was all looking familiar now.  The door at the end to right seemed correct.

“Have a safe trip then,” he said finally.

“I’ll think about it, Kaidan.”

“What times does the freighter leave?”

“Late tonight.  A few more hours.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Kaidan lingered by the door.  He touched the comm in his ear.  “Really though, Miranda, be careful.  I’d find out what freight your friend is transporting.  The Blue Sun’s activity has stepped up in the outskirts of Sol.”

Miranda sighed.  “I know, Kaidan.”

“All right,” Kaidan said finally.  “Just … take care.”

“Okay.”

Miranda ended the call.  Kaidan took the comm out of his ear and snapped it back into his Omni-Tool.  The apartment door slid open.  Kaidan tripped back a space.  He hadn’t rang yet.

“Kaidan.”

Liara’s silhouette stood in the doorway.  Glass walls and a balcony beyond it burned with the sunset.  It cast the apartment behind her a bright red-orange.

“Oh.  Hey.”

“I saw you were outside the door,” Liara explained.  “Come in.”

Kaidan passed by her into the apartment -- all platinum and glass.  The apartment’s living area was larger than most of the ship's command center’s he’d served on.  His HQ barrack was probably smaller than the balcony beyond the main room’s glass walls.  Being the Shadow Broker had perks apparently. 

Liara’s assistant sat stiffly at a marble topped desk in the corner of the apartment’s main room.  As Liara led Kaidan into the main room, the assistant glanced up and gave Kaidan a nod. She turning back to a multiscreened terminal glowing with bits of text and paused videos. 

“How are you feeling?” Kaidan asked.

Liara came around him with eyes lowered.  “Quite well now.  I was very sick earlier, but that has  passed.”

Kaidan leaned in closer.  “Liara, I’m really sorry about—”

“Please,” Liara said.  “I feel well enough.”

Liara's eyes strayed to the corner.  Her assistant leaned forward fixed on one of the screens.  Maybe too fixed to be natural.  Liara’s eyes flicked back to Kaidan, and she indicated the glass push doors out to the balcony.  The air stung with a chill and the fresh tinge of rain and ocean current.  They were deep in Vancouver, but they were so high up.  He might be able to see the ocean.

“Earth is very beautiful,” Liara said as they crossed over the wet marbled tile to the glass railing.  “At first, I didn’t think it compared to the solar glows and hanging moons of Thessia’s sky.  But now, I actually find is quite beautiful.”

Kaidan leaned his arms on the railing and looked out across the city, dimming in the setting sun.  Only a few other buildings this tall stood between them and the horizon.  The ocean glistened in the distance.  Just a few years ago, other skyscrapers would have hidden it.

“Kaidan.”  Liara touched his hand.  He looked over.  “I’m sorry.  I heard about what the Alliance decided.”

“The suspension?”

“Yes.”

Kaidan turned his gaze back to the city.  “It wasn’t a surprise.  I mean, a surprise if you asked me two weeks when I was debriefing in Prague, but not a surprise after getting the hearing invitation.”

“Was it really a hearing?”

“No, I guess not.  More a disciplinary meeting than a hearing.”

“Regardless,” Liara said.  “I’m sorry.”

Kaidan shrugged.  Sunsets after a storm really were some of the most spectacular.

“Are you okay?” Liara asked.

“Yeah.”  Kaidan snapped his head back to her.  “I’m good.”

Liara nodded holding his eyes.

“How’s it going with the files from Wilson’s terminal?” he asked.

“Like you thought, the maintenance reports on the distress beacon were superseded and altered.”

“Then …”

“It wasn’t altered by the admiral though.  The documents were corrupted on the Alliance mainframe with a temporary user profile.  It may not even be someone from within the Alliance.”

Kaidan shifted against the railing.  “You can tell that?”

“There’s a reason you gave it to me, isn’t there?”

Skycar lights streamed through the city below.  Kaidan thought for a moment then turned to Liara.

“When was it altered?  Can you tell?”

“Yes.”

“Was it before or after the Normandy’s distress call was reported?  Before Wilson sent that information on to the Admiral Board?”

“It was after the transmission was received and also after Wilson had messaged the admirals.  It was probably altered before the Flight Admirals actually consulted the documents.  Here.”  Liara brought up a glowing screen on her Omni-Tool, and leaned over for Kaidan to read it.  He fingered down the holographic screen then sighed.

“Not what you wanted to read?”

“No, I …” Kaidan pulled back.  “I don’t know.”

Liara frowned, turned off the Omni-Tool, and waited.  Kaidan looked off.

“I know it’s unbecoming,” Kaidan glanced sideways with a lopsided grin, “but I’m a little disappointed it didn’t implicate the admiral.”

“Admiral Wilson?”

Kaidan nodded.  “Yeah.”

“I’ve gone through most of the files, Kaidan.  Nothing so far implicates him.”

              “Good.  Don’t get me wrong, I want the truth.  Just kind of hoped that would be the truth.”

              “An Alliance admiral, a Terra Firma mole?  That would be very serious.”

              “I know.  Unbecoming.  I admit it.”

              Liara gave a small smile.  “That sort of information would fetch a lot on the shadow market.”

              Kaidan looked over. He narrowed his eyes.  “You’re just trying to push my buttons now.”

              “Perhaps.”

              “Perhaps?” Kaidan raised his eyebrows and hunched over the railing. He rested his chin on a fist.  “I don’t think it’s ‘perhaps.’”

              The corners of Liara’s lips turned up.  “That must be unbecoming of me now.”

              Kaidan grinned broadly.  “You didn’t want me to be lonely in the category?”

              “I thought you may like some company.”

              “Thoughtful.”  Kaidan was still smiling.  “And, you bring migraine meds for me.”

              Liara shrugged, eyes drifting to the sunset.  The bright red was fading to a pink twilight.

              “I’ll send you what I have so far,” she said.

              “Thanks.”

              They stared out over the darkening city for a moment.

Liara looked over at him again. “I got your message about the ship to Gagarin.  It leaves tomorrow?”

              “Yes.”

              “Have you decided?”

              Kaidan pushed back from the railing.  “I don’t know yet.”

              “You think they’re trying to entrap you?”

              “No,” Kaidan shook his head.  “Not that.  Not exactly.  I think the Councilors really just want more information, but the Alliance … there are deeper politics and power struggles happening behind closed doors.”

              “And some of it involved you?”

              Kaidan paused thinking.  “Partly because I’m a Spectre.  Human Spectres are new.  Up until now, there’s only been turmoil and upheaval to really define it.  Now there’s confusion, boundary staking, power pushbacks, fear between the Alliance and Council.  The Citadel orbits Earth.  One day, the Council will be here, above Earth, back to full strength, relays restored.  The Alliance needs to carve out its authority, set a precedence with its power.  I don’t know.  I think there’s a lot going on.”

              “You regret becoming a Spectre?”

              “No,” Kaidan said quickly. “Not really.  That’s not what I’m saying.”

              “But you think of yourself more as an Alliance soldier than a Council Spectre?”

              “Of course.” He shrugged.  “How could I not?”

              Liara tilted her head back and looked up in the sky.  Kaidan felt it.  A drop.  It was visible if he focused on the spaces between the building. 

              “I’m going.  I’m glad you had my name added,” Liara said.

Kaidan nodded and moved under the overhang of the roof.  Liara rested her back against the railing and blinked through the misty sprinkle at him.

“Thank you for bringing me back last night.”

“Your assistant let me in.”

Liara bit her lower lip and glanced away.  “I feel embarrassed.  I … I don’t remember anything.”

“Don’t be,” Kaidan said.

“It’s just,” Liara’s mouth twisted, "I’m worried about Shepard.”

Kaidan took a step back out into the drizzle.  “Me too.”

Liara raised her eyes, a shiny glint to them. “Kaidan …”

“Yeah?”  He stepped up to her.

Liara pushed off from the railing and reached for him.  His muscles tensed. She wrapped her arms around his chest and leaned her head against his shoulder.  Slowly the rigidness in his back loosened.  He hesitated then put his arms around her and rested his chin atop her head.  The rain sprinkled around them as the sun slipped from the sky.


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 15**

Kaidan stretched back in his chair.  The computer terminal on the desk in front of him illuminated the dark room.  Kaidan rubbed his face roughly with both hands and yawned.  The face on the screen made thoughts roll around his head. He finally stood up and flicked the screen off.  The room blurred into complete darkness. The face still burned in his mind’s eye -- Bram Anchor.

Kaidan picked his way through the darkness until he bumped his knees against his bed.  He touched the mattress with both hands and sank down on its edge sit.  His clothes were still damp and clung to his clammy skin.  With a long exhale, he leaned forward putting his face in his hands.

He’d reviewed the Normandy maintenance files from Liara.  There wasn’t much of interest aside from what Liara had pointed out as being superseded.  Terra Firma, outside or inside the Alliance as they may be, had to be involved.  Anchor’s connection and the blueprints to that war device were too coincidental otherwise.  Anchor’s attempt to remove Shepard as CO were only theories though.  If Shepard thought it unproveable, unless new evidence turned up, it would remain that way.  A theory.

The other files he’d taken from Wilson’s computer – ship logs, communication reports, mission summaries – none of it was especially enlightening.  Kaidan could only imagine the outrage if the Alliance knew he had them.  Afterall, he never had gotten that paperwork.  Kaidan smiled wanly. 

The only thing of any real interest wasn’t what was there but what wasn’t.  The Alliance monitored communication.  The crew only used personal military email accounts while on a mission.  An Allliance account, whether the communication was personal or official, military exchange or family prattle, was still property of the Alliance, and they had access.  The communication service logs on the Normandy showed active accounts functioning, messages exchanged between the crew to Earth or Jump Zero up until the Normandy left range.  The senders and dates were viewable, but the specific messages couldn't be read from the log.  That was accessible through the Alliance mainframe if granted access or hacked, but the only messages Kaidan wanted to see wouldn’t be there.  Shepard’s, Vega’s, Adam’s, numerous crew -- the accounts all existed backed up on the mainframe, but not Anchor’s.

Anchor’s account was empty, not a single piece of even spam.  Even if he never received any personal communication, he was XO.  He should have mail.  If the Normandy’s maintenance records could be tampered, then Anchor’s emails could have been either deleted or prevented from backing up on the Alliance’s mainframe.  If his messages needed to be removed, then there must be something there to hide.  Anchor would still have the messages somewhere, orders and information updates.  He probably kept the messages saved on a non-networked data pad though. 

Kaidan sighed.  He should probably change out of his wet uniform.  He probably should have taken off his uniform following the morning’s suspension.  He didn’t know the protocol for that.  His head ached.  Reading and re-reading the information recovered from Terra Firma about Anchor, reviewing Anchor's Alliance profile, Liara’s information -- it wasn’t getting him anywhere.

A green light blinked on his Omni-Tool brightening the whole room.  It was pretty late to get a message with enough filter priority to alert his Omni-Tool.  Kaidan straightened his back and punched up the message screen.  It was a message alert from the Alliance.  The Councilors were and Alliance brass were on the recipient list.

Kaidan tapped on the message.  He sat straighter with a long sigh.  The Alliance News Network knew about the Normandy.  Someone had leaked it.  ANN alerted the Alliance that they planned to air the story.  They were giving their customary twenty-four hour notice before releasing it.  How much they’d really know was up for debate, but they knew something violent had happened, nothing accidental.  As Kaidan read further, his frown deepened.  They knew about the turiens and General Taurin.  Their source must have been deep because they even had a partial list of the casualties’ names.  The Alliance hadn’t even had time to notify any families. 

Kaidan finished the message and tossed his Omni-Tool spinning across his nightstand.  He pulled the wet uniform shirt over his head and threw it against his dresser.  At least ANN had the decency to give the Alliance notice, but it forced their hand.  Twenty-four hours to contact all those families.  They’d have to get a statement in order too, probably need a press conference to control the story.  ANN would be all eager and ready with their questions too.  The reporters and editors were probably huddled around a boardroom table right now chugging coffee and brainstorming on a white board.

Kaidan stumbled out of the last of his clothes and fell backward into bed.  He really had to sleep now.  Just to forget everything.  Just to wake up with a clear head and make clear decisions.  It was going to be damned hard to sleep now, as if it wouldn’t have been already.  The press conference would probably happen as early as possible to beat ANN breaking the story.  Probably morning then, but with time to prepare and notify.  Later morning then or early afternoon.

Kaidan rolled over and scrunched a pillow under his head.  He blinked in the darkness as his eyes slowly started to make out the contrasted outlines of shapes around the room – the couch and chairs in the sitting area, the wad of clothes at the feet of the dresser across from him, the refrigerator humming next to the kitchenette’s counters.  Starlight filtered through the open blinds above the couch.  It wasn’t a giant expansive window like in Shepard’s quarters, but then he didn’t even deserve _these_ quarters.  He was rarely at HQ to be worth granting private quarters.  If not a Spectre, he would be in the Alliance’s guest barracks where other officers stayed between assignments.

He studied the pale light and listened to his own breathing.  It wasn’t just starlight coming through.  He was on Earth, after all.  It could be moonlight, but he wasn’t at an angle to see it if it was.  Regardless, the prism of stars and nebulas was beautiful.  He’d always thought that whether looking up from Earth or out the Normandy.He had to correct himself though.  That wasn’t quite true. 

It had been more beautiful then, or at least, it seemed it in memory -- staring up at the starlight, flecks glittering through a misty, undulating veil of blue energy.  Awe inducing lying there watching it -- the ship at FLT, low hum of speed and energy, warmth waking and shifting beside him, tilting his head to see his eyes reflecting back at him in another’s.  Not just anyone’s eyes, Shepard’s.  He shivered.  There -- enveloped in the half-light of stars and the damn fishtank, breathing the mixed scent of fresh linen and vanilla -- she’d turn her eyes up, eyelashes flickering with each slow breath, watching the stars overhead.  The window’s pale, blue light rippling across her face like water, his fingers tracing her face, his skin luminescing. She’d turn to him, teeth white in the low light, her skin flaring blue, their barriers interweaving, and she’d lift her hand to cover his, the electrical crackle of their skin touching, theirstinging and shivering up his arm, warm and alive where his hand pressed between the static of her palm and the tingling glow of her cheek.  And then he would kiss her—

Kaidan tossed over in bed rolling away from the window and stared at the dark wall.  Better not to think on those things.  To want so desperately to forget and never forget at the same time.  Few things as torturous.  Except … except for knowing for certain he’d never see her eyes again outside of the darkness.  The darkness of memory.

He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.  He had to stop.  Thinking about these things would go nowhere.  “What if’s” and wistful memories would only hurt.  He needed time to think about going to Jump Zero.  He wanted to go as strongly as he was afraid to go.  Afraid of the Alliance maybe, but more afraid of the new memories to stab and tear into his gut at night when he lay in the darkness.  He’d rather remember her eyes watching him in the starlight, than burn that away with her lying in some sterile, metal medbay, already dead, according to Miranda -- helpless, cold, bloodless, nothing that her, her there, only silence and emptiness.   How many years would it haunt him when he closed his eyes?  He couldn’t do anything for her if he was there.  If the ultimate could happen and she woke up, what would she even say when she saw him?   Happy to see a friend, he hoped, but maybe irritation at him forcing himself into her life.  She didn’t need him, maybe she never had.  He just needed to think.  But not tonight.

He squeezed his eyes tight breathing into the pillow and concentrated, head aching deeper.  He thought about Omni-Tool models, thought about biotic exercises, thought about his team in Tokyo, thought about his family, thought about his dad, and finally, thought about nothing.  Nothing but sleep.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 16**

Kaidan bolted upright in his sheets.  The door buzzed again.  He stumbled to his feet .  The faint glow of morning gleamed in the window.  Another buzz.  Someone was impatient.  Kaidan snatched a pair of pants out of the drawer and hopped over to the apartment door drawing them up.  He opened the door.  Miranda raised her eyebrows, hands on her hips.

 “Miranda?”

She smirked, eyeing him up and down.  “Rough night?”

Kaidan rubbed the back of his hand across his face and squinted into the florescent light of the hall. “I suppose.”

Miranda’s smirk deepened.  She pointed at his chest as she brushed around him.  “Good thing Ori didn’t tag along.”

Kaidan frowned and let out a sigh.  Miranda sauntered a couple of steps into the studio apartment glancing around before turning her eyes to him.  Kaidan closed the door.

“I take it you changed your travel plans,” he said.

“You are astute,” Miranda grinned slyly.

Kaidan leaned back against the wall next to the door and stifled a yawn.

“What do you want?” he said.

“Good morning to you too.  Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”  She glanced behind at his bed in the corner, the covers torn away, pillow on the floor.

“I guess.” Kaidan said with a shrug.

Miranda turned back to him.  “There’s a press conference.  You heard?”

“I knew there would be one.”

“Are you going?” Miranda motioned at him.

“When is it?”

“This morning.  A few more hours.”

Kaidan squinted at her.  “Hours from now?  Then why the wake up call?”

“To check-in.  Since I’m going on the Alliance ship like you wanted I thought … Kaidan, you don’t even look a tad smug.”

“I am pleased.”

“That’s how you look when you’re pleased?”

“Anticlimactic, I know.”

“Well,” Miranda tossed her head, “I suppose if you looked too pleased, I’d harass you over that too.”

“So, you _are_ harassing me.  I was struggling to label it.”

Miranda pivoted on her heels and shot him a glare.  “Anyway.  I –” She paused.  “You _are_ coming, correct?”

He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. "Hell, Miranda, I don't know."

He needed more time to think.  A lot depended on the right decision.  It was all happening so fast.

“You don’t know?”

“I just woke up.”

“So?” Miranda’s face hardened.  She stepped closer.  Kaidan's back straightened against the wall as she came in front of him.  “How can you not know?  I don’t understand you, Kaidan.”

“I don’t know what to do.  Yet.”

Miranda pursed her lips, voice hard.  “I know what the words mean, Kaidan.  I don’t understand why you don’t know.  How’s it even a decision?”

Kaidan locked eyes with her but didn’t say anything. 

She gave a soft snort and shook her head.  “You know, Kaidan ...  Hey. I don’t know anything about your relationship with Shepard, but if there was any real friendship in it at all, you’d want to be there.”  Heat crawled up Kaidan’s neck. Miranda jammed her finger at his chest.  “If you don’t come, you won’t see her again.  You know what it means when the doctor says ‘Get the family here soon’?  That’s what I’m saying to you, Kaidan.  You got me involved in this.  Don’t you even care?”

“Of course, I care,” Kaidan snapped and shoved around her. 

He threw open the top drawer of his dresser and tore a shirt out of it.

“Then what the hell is your problem?” Miranda rounded up behind him and slammed her fist on top of the dresser.

Kaidan's jaw flexed tight.  He glared at her, even as he pulled the shirt over his head.

“Well?” Miranda said.  “You’re all scared about your precious position in the Alliance?  Screw the Alliance!  Why let them hold you back?”

Kaidan held her eyes for a long silence, blood rushing in his ears.  He tore his eyes away, crossed to his bed, and tore his Omni-Tool off the nightstand.  He jammed it onto his hand. 

Miranda’s footsteps followed.  “You’re too angry to even discuss this?”

“I don’t need to prove my feelings for Shepard to you, Miranda."

“Damnit, Kaidan, I’m not asking you to prove it to me.  Prove it to her.  Why won’t you come?”

Kaidan pushed around her and snatched his boots off the floor.  He dropped onto the chair by his desk and tore at the laces.  Miranda looming over him with hands on her hips.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going," Kaidan snapped.  He took a deep breath and smoothed his voice.  "I said ‘I don’t know.'”

"You don't know?" Miranda echoed.

His boot paused just off the ground,.  “Honestly, Miranda, I don’t know.  I wish I just knew.  I have to think.”

Miranda tapped her foot and checked her Omni-Tool.  “Fine.  You have eleven hours.  So, decide.”

Kaidan exhaled a growl and jammed on the boot.  “Just--”

“Why?” Miranda insisted.

The second boot stopped halfway on.  Kaidan slowed his breathing and focused on the floor in thought.  He tugged his boot the rest of the way on, put his foot on the floor, and raised his eyes to her.

“I could lose everything.  If what you say is true,” he paused to make sure his voice stayed even, “If it’s true, Miranda, I’ve already lost …”  He didn’t finish.

Miranda squatted next to him.  “Not yet.  I’m going to try my damnedest, and there’s always a chance.  I just wanted you to understand.  That’s why I said that.” She licked her lips and waited.  Kaidan focused on tying his boots but felt her eyes on his face.  Her voice was quieter.  “Why would you lose everything?”

“Lose Shepard.  Lose the Alliance.”  He shook his head.  “That is everything.”  He hesitated, then finally added.  “Not everything, but it feels like it.”

“You’re a Spectre.”

“I don’t even know what that means.” Kaidan stood up and brushed past her.

She rose.  “Kaidan …”

He stopped. 

She came up to him.  “What are you going to regret more?  Years from now.  Think about it.”

“I … I can’t do anything for her.”

“Maybe not,” Miranda said.  “But maybe it’s not for her, it’s for yourself.”

Kaidan crossed his arms and looked down.  “I need to think.”

Miranda’s boots shifted on the floor at the top of his vision.  Her sigh came out as a hiss. She passed around him to the door.  Kaidan didn’t turn.

“I don’t know if I can take seeing her that way,” Kaidan whispered.  Miranda’s footsteps pause.  “I know it’s weak or taking the easy way, but if I see her, it will make everything worse.  Whether I’m there or not, the outcome's the same.  But, if I’m there, it could … it could break me, Miranda.”

They stood silent not facing each other.

“Think of it this way,” she said finally.  “A while from now, Shepard’s going to be going into surgery.  You’re all the way on Earth.  Even if you changed your mind and every part of you was desperate to be there, it would be too late.  You’re lightyears away, and you can’t be with her or see her one more time.  And that’s the regret you live with forever.  Which one will really break you?”

Her heels clicked to the door, and it swished open.  He waited for it to shut.  His stomach weighed in his chest as if he’d eaten lead.  He glanced to the window brightening with gray morning clouds.  Last night, the stars had glittered through.  A blue cast colored the memory of Shepard’s face.  He covered his face.  Shepard was the worst and best thing to happen to him.  Somehow, he’d know deep down that each high had to cost something.  How could he have imagined the depth to each low he’d be called to repay?


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 17**

The Alliance’s grand entrance hall crowded with reporters, Alliance uniforms, and curious passersby.  Cameras bobbed overhead.  Kaidan moved along the wall squeezing around the gawkers.  No one was at the podium yet.  Kaidan found a spot near the back of the lobby with a few less people than everywhere else.

“Major Alenko!”

Kaidan looked to the side.  A woman darted around a reporter fiddling with his Omni-Tool.

“Specialist Traynor.”

“I recognized you slinking along the wall.  Are things going all right?  Do you know anything about this press briefing?”

“Some,” Kaidan said.  “I haven’t seen you around.”

“I’ve been working Alliance comm networks -- connecting Earth bound sites.  Rather drab work really.  Shepard asked me to join her on the Normandy.  I’m seeing someone though, so I declined.  The press conference concerns the Normandy?  That’s the rumor circulating.”

Kaidan nodded.

“You aren’t going to tell me, are you?” Traynor pressed.

A microphone crackled.  The roar of the crowd died slowly as faces turned to the stage.  Traynor stood on the balls of her feet straining to see over the heads of two salarians.  Flight Admiral Dumas stood in the back of the stage.  Kaidan vaguely recognized the man walking up to the podium as an Alliance PR official.  Some Council staff and two turiens stood off to the side.

“Good afternoon, everyone.”  The PR official put his hands on the lectern and let the crowd settle into silence.  Some reporters scurried along the back to find better angles.  “I’m Captain Fred Glass, Human Systems Alliance public relations, and on behalf of the Alliance and Galactic Council, I want to thank you for coming out this morning.”

Glass waited as a couple more Alliance officers took up their spots next to Dumas, other flight admirals.  Councilor Mason appeared last and shook the admirals’ hands as he passed before walking up to stand by the turiens.  He nodded at Glass.  Glass tapped his fingertips on the podium and turned back to the crowd.

“It is with all seriousness that we have assembled to address circumstances surrounding an attack aboard the SSV Normandy.”

The crowd murmured.  A wave of frenzied whispers rolled through the audience.  Traynor stared at Kaidan.  Glass put up a hand to quiet everyone.

“The Normandy, captained by Commander Shepard, was attacked several days ago during a joint mission between the Alliance and Council, one objective of which involved recovery of several stranded turien military officers.  During the return to Earth and before entering Sol, the Normandy was attacked.  This attack resulted in casualties.  The attacking force was subdued but not before the ship sustained serious damage.  The ship and crew are returning to Gagarin Station for a formal investigation.”  Glass waved aside questions and pressed on.  “Heading this investigation will be Spectres Giriel Ursul and Ror Taccus.  We will be releasing a list of confirmed dead.  This is not an exhaustive list and will be added to as families are notified and more information becomes available.  We will now open the floor to some brief questions.”

Camera drones crowded around the stage, hands raising, and shouts rippling through the audience.  Glass pointed out at someone.  Kaidan couldn’t see much from the back.

“Jane Todgenson, London Newscircuit.  What is the status of Commander Shepard?  Is she among the casualties?”

Glass answered.  “Commander Shepard is in critical condition.  I can not elaborate at this time.” 

He scanned the front row and pointed to another reporter.  Traynor’s eyes bored into Kaidan as he tried to focus on the stage.

A reporter introduced himself.  “Can you tell us if any prominent officers are among the fallen?”

“Yes.  Unfortunately, General Taurin –” Clamoring and yelling broke out through the crowd. “Unfortunately, General Taurin,” Glass repeated,” was killed in the attack.  Also, several extinguished turien officers among his crew --  Capatin Tiberivus , instrumental in the Cerberus counter-attacks at Headgruven, and Sargent Murtus, extinguished in the Battle of Loyut.  Several extinguished Alliance officers are also confirmed among the dead including Commander Shepard’s executive officer, Lieutenant Commander Bram Anchor, decorated for his efforts at Moulle Station.  Lieutenant Nough, who received a medal for—”

Sound faded away as Kaidan replayed the last sentence over in his head.  He hadn’t heard it wrong.  Anchor praised as a war hero, fine, but included as a victim?

“Jesse Stiner, Council 5 News.  What was the nature of this attack?”

“I’m afraid I cannot go into specifics at this time, but I can say it did not involve another vessel.”

Murmuring.

“Mark Jameson, LFI Corp News.  If it didn’t involve another ship, did it involve conflict between the turien and human crews?”

“I cannot comment on that.”

“Was Commander Shepard involved?”

“I cannot comment.”

“Did this involve Cerberus, who Commander Shepard formerly worked with?”

“No comment.”

“Khalisah al-Jilani, Cable Vid News.  Is there suspicion the Blue Sons are involved?”

“At this time, we are still investigating motives and parties behind the attack.  The Blue Sons are responsible for destruction of two Alliance vessels, but that involved ship-to-ship attacks and resulted from Alliance efforts to recover the absconded ships.  This does not mirror that in any way.  We have no reason to believe the Normandy was prey to the same forces that lead to the destruction of the Tin Star and Raven earlier last year.”

Councilor Mason stared at the floor, face almost purposefully blank, probably with effort given the tightness in his posture.

“London NC again.  Are there suspicions about Terra Firma’s involvement?”

“Again, this is under investigation.  We have no reason to believe that at this time.”

“No one has taken credit for this attack?”

“It is our impression that this attack was meant to take control of the ship for a still unknown purpose.  That purpose was deflected by the valiant efforts of defending crew members.  We do not believe this was primarily meant as an act of terror, though that is still possible.”

“What about the death of General Taurin?  Could he not have been the target?”

“That is under investigation.”

The press conference continued.  Traynor sidled up next to Kaidan, her brows deeply furrowed.

“Do you know what happened?” she asked.

Kaidan glanced at her.  “I have a theory.  No one _knows._ ”

“Will Shepard be all right?  Is it serious?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, ‘be all right’ or, yes, ‘serious’?”

“Both, I hope.”

He focused on the stage and could feel Traynor staring at him before she turned away with a sigh.  A couple more questions and Glass wrapped up the press conference.  The crowd shifted, reporters turning to their cameras, likely summarizing and signing off.  A few clamored after Glass and the turien Spectres as officials receded back from the podium.  Two Alliance officers held back the crowd, intercepting pushy reports as they held out microphones shouting questions at Glass’s back.  Kaidan surged forward into the crowd.

“Major.”

“Sorry, Traynor.  Later.”

He slipped around bodies and ducked under floating camera bots.  The Councilor, Dumas, and most of the others mingled in the background behind the staging area.  A few officials left exit the side shielded by security officers with reports scampered along beside them.

“Alenko!”

Diana Aller waved at him through a crowd of Alliance uniforms.  She pushed around them and passed another reporter.  Kaidan sped up and dodged through a stream of people making for an exit.  The crowd absorbed Diana, but her hovering camera bot indicated she was breaking through the crowd.  She emerged shoving around people and waving at him.  He clamored to the perimeter of the stage.

“Stop.” A security officer held up a hand and came over to him.

“Let him through.”  Commander Bailey stepped up behind the officer.

“Major Alenko!” Diana’s voice boomed.

Kaidan nodded at Bailey and then slid around the security officer to a disappointed squeal behind him.  Councilor Mason had left, but Dumas stood with the two Spectres just off the stage.  Kaidan angled right to them. 

“Alenko,” Dumas said flatly as Kaidan came up beside him.

Ursul turned to Kaidan.  “Spectre Alenko?”

“Yes.”  Kaidan extended his hand.  “Spectres Ursul and Taccus?”

“What are you doing here, Alenko?” Dumas said.

              Kaidan focused on the Spectres.  “I noticed Commander Anchor’s name included with the victims.”

              Ursul and Taccus exchanged looks.  Dumas crossed his arms tightly and edged into Kaidan’s vision.

              “Alenko, this investigation no longer involves you.  You’re suspended from your Alliance duties and have been directed by the Council to desist.  Any further involvement will have serious consequences.  I am sure you are well aware of this, but consider this a warning.”

              Kaidan’s chest tightened under the Admiral’s icy stare.

              “Of course, Admiral.”

              Taccus glanced at Dumas but drew Kaidan’s attention anyway.  “Lieutenant Commander Anchor is innocent until there is proof otherwise.  That should be familiar, Spectre.  I believe it’s a root concept of due process, is it not?”

              “There is circumstantial evidence,” Kaidan said.

              “Circumstantial?” Taccus asked.  “Hardly proof.”

              “Enough to provide suspicion,” Kaidan countered.

              “Again, suspicion is not proof.  Without proof, there is no guilt.  Without guilt, a man is innocent.  If he’s innocent then he _is_ a victim.”

              Kaidan hesitated but had to nod finally.  That was reasonable.  That didn’t discount suspicion of Anchor being a lead for the investigation.

              Ursul spoke for the first time.  “It unlikely a ship’s XO would be in collusion with a crew of disguised killers picked up from a far-off space station.  Really a fantastic notion, Spectre Alenko, one from action and suspense vids.”  Her eyes met his with a hard, dark glint.

Kaidan frowned.  He wasn’t sure what to say.  He could repeat James’s suspicions -- Anchor rigged an Alliance shuttle to explode based on a recovered amplifier cable, and Cortez seeing Anchor near the drive panel.  That probably held as much traction as bringing up Anchor’s connection to Terra Firma when it was a political party or his messages not being backed up on the Alliance’s mainframe.

“Alenko--” Dumas started.

Ursul raised her voice over his.  “We know you prejudiced Commander Shepard and by extensions members of the crew she confided in, including Lieutenant Commander Vega.  He’s the one that provided this speculative information on Anchor.  Speculation he reported reluctantly while given leading questions fueled by your pre-determined suspicions.”

“The investigation needs an objective and unbiased view,” Taccus agreed.

“Your attempts to bias us now,” Ursul bared her teeth, “is not appreciated.  We will draw our own conclusions.”

Kaidan didn’t have any words.  Providing leads by their very nature likely introduced bias.  It was unavoidable.

“Alenko,” Dumas said again.  “The Spectres have humored you answering questions they, by no means, needed to address with you.  You are not to try influencing their investigation.”

The Spectres studied Kaidan with cold eyes.  Dumas stepped further into Kaidan’s line of vision and stared pointedly at him as if waiting for something.

“I won’t impede the investigation,” Kaidan agreed.  “But, I did want you to know that I’m going to Jump Zero for personal reasons.”

“Personal reasons?” Dumas’s eyes widened, but then a small grin lifted the corners of his mouth.

“Commander Shepard’s a friend,” Kaidan said.  The way Dumas was looking at him made Kaidan’s skin itch.  Kaidan continued, “As well as many of the crew.  James Vega, Jeff Moreau.”

“This is not appropriate,” Taccus said.  “By spending time with the crew, you may influence the outcome of any conversations we have with them.”

“I won’t speak with them about this,” Kaidan offered.

“That’s not good enough,” Ursul said.  “Unintentionally or intentionally, Taccus is right.”

“Then I won’t speak to them until you’re through questioning them,” Kaidan said.

Ursul snorted and shook her head.  “You may cause them to withdraw statements after the fact.  Influence official testimony for more formal hearings.”

Kaidan gaped at them and turned to Admiral Dumas.  “Sir, please.  I can’t be expected to avoid them until all formal hearings are concluded six months from now.  Other Alliance officers aren’t forbidden from associating with their comrades just because they’re involved in an ongoing investigation.  I agree not to discuss this with them.  I won’t talk to them until they’re cleared from questioning.”

Dumas’s jaw flexed.  “Be careful you don’t border on fraternization, Alenko.  You’re a major.  Friends are not prohibited but being unduly familiar is, an admittingly vague definition.”

“Sir, I’ve only seen that applied to romantic relationships, despite the vague phrasing.”

Dumas glared but didn’t say anything more.

“It seems unnecessary and atypical to prevent Spectre Alenko from affiliating with the fellow officers he is friends with for that extent of time,” Taccus said finally.  “I am inclined to allow him to see them, granted we have spoken to them first, and the Spectre agrees not to try influencing their future testimony, whether by addition or subtraction of facts.”

Ursul scowled at Taccus then finally turned back to Kaidan.  “Fine.  As long as Alenko waits for our official clearance on each person before speaking to them.”

Dumas’s mouth drew into a hard line.  “As this is an investigation conducted by the Council, I will not try to overrule anything the Spectres decide.  But,” he pivoted on his heels to stare Kaidan in the eye, “you are suspended from the Alliance.  While as a civilian you may be on Gagarin and come and go from the medical sector, you are not an officer.  Therefore, you have no access to the Normandy, electronically, physically, or through a third party.  You will travel as a civilian, stay as a civilian, and return as a civilian.  And though you are off duty, Alenko, improper officer conduct and fraternization regs are not waived.  I hope you are aware, that is, of course, always true.”

Ursul looked back and forth between Kaidan and Dumas with what probably constituted a turien frown.  Taccus clasped his talons behind his back and stood silent.

“Understood, Admiral.  Thank you.  Spectres.”

Kaidan nodded to them and turned away.  Only as he ducked through the crowd down a side hallway did he realize he’d made up his mind.


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 18**

Kaidan skirted around the docking terminal’s crowd as they whooped and yelled.  They gathered around one of the gates, probably two dozen people.  Kaidan gawked as he tried to steer around a few stragglers stepping in front of Kaidan to cheer at whoever was coming out the gate.  Kaidan lifted his bag over a row of chairs and edged past.  The cheers rose higher.  Kaidan looked back over his shoulder.

Councilor Mason marched up to the crowd with a glowing smile.  The crowd murmured and parted as heads turned realizing he was there trying to push through.  Mason absorbed into the crowd, only visible through the slots of space between people circling him.  A man coming out the docking gate.  He threw his arms around Mason.  Kaidan hedged to make out the home comer -- Alliance uniform, taller than Mason, same slender build and hair line starting to thin on the crown.  Mason wrapped his arms around the soldier and squeezed.

Kaidan swallowed.  What Kaidan wouldn’t give to see his dad again.  He hadn’t appreciated their last time together, such a fleeting hello and good bye two days before the reapers set down in Vancouver.  They’d had just enough time for vapid pleasantries and a hug.  At least, they’d had that.  Kaidan could have been off on assignment rather than at Shepard’s trial. 

Mason released the hug and grabbed the soldier’s bag.  Mason’s son was some war hero.  Kaidan remembered that now – Mason had two children, twins, both biotics in the Alliance, both war heros in their own right.  His son had been involved in some big European battle during the invasion.  Decorated for it.  The award ceremony may have been the last time he was at HQ, but then Kaidan remembered the Tin Star.  Kaidan closed his eyes for a moment and then turned away.  Here Kaidan was jealous of someone’s father when Mason’s son probably missed his mother. 

Kaidan continued down the docks.  Liara stood by the gate at the end, back straight and alert.  Her asari assistant hovered around her talking into an audio comm, her voice too quiet to make out actual words.  Liara’s head turned, and she caught sight of Kaidan.  She snapped around with a smile.

“You did come.”

“I messaged you.”  Kaidan hoisted his bag high on his shoulder.

“I’m glad you decided to come.  I was waiting for you.”

Kaidan moved out of the terminal’s hallway into the dock’s waiting area.  Liara’s assistant gestured wildly in a furious whisper.

“Is your assistant coming?” Kaidan asked.

“No, she’s not on the passenger list.  We’re just tying up a few threads before departure.”

“Oh,” Kaidan said.  “I didn’t think of asking for her name to be added. Sorry”

“It’s no concern.  It'll be good to have a break.”

“You’re really taking a break?”

Liara shrugged.  “I’ll still be in communication, monitoring, tracking auctions.  As much of a break as someone like I can take.”

“Hmm,” Kaidan nodded.  “Well, I’m off the grid.  The benefits of being suspended.  Who knew?”

“That’s … a good attitude, I suppose.”

“Right,” Kaidan grinned.  “Did you believe it?”

“You’re very convincing.”

Kaidan peered at the docking gate.  “Are we waiting to board?”

“I believe you may board any time you wish.  I was just finishing up with Benna.”

The assistant scrolled down her datapad pacing rigidly.  Her head bobbed wildly with each word she spat into the comm.

              “Seems upset,” Kaidan observed.

              “Some clients aren’t pleased with the outcome of their information requests.  As a policy, there are no … refunds, for a better word.  We don’t accept threats against our contractors.”

              “Hmm.”  Kaidan craned his neck looking around the docking area.

              Humans mostly, small crowds gathered here and there around docking gates all the way down the terminal.  There was still a couple of hours until departure.

              “So, uh …” Kaidan glanced at their docking gate again.  “You seen Miranda?”

              “Miranda Lawson?” Liara asked.  “She’s already aboard.”

              “Ah.”

              Liara eyed him.  “You don’t need to stay out here for me, you know.”

              “I know.”  Kaidan dropped his bag and took a seat in a row of chairs.  “Two hours …”

              “Closer to ninety minutes,” Liara said. “Everyone should be aboard thirty minutes before departure.  Final checks.”

              Kaidan rolled his eyes.  “Yeah.  I know.”

              “Well, I didn’t mean to imply you—”

              “Don’t worry.”  Kaidan waved his hand dismissively.

              Liara strolled over and took the chair next to him.  She always sat so straight.  If you lived for a thousand years, it made sense to develop good posture.  A few decades as a human with a bad back had to pale next to centuries with one.  Kaidan stifled a grin.  Was he really thinking about bad backs and posture?  He _was_ desperate to avoid dwelling on … other things.  Dwelling on dwelling now.  Liara looked over at him.

              “You and Miranda had a row?”

              Kaidan blinked at her. “What?”

              “A row.  You quarreled?”

              “Quarreled?” Kaidan laughed lightly with a grin.  He leaned against the armrest and propped his chin on a fist.  “Yeah, you could say we … quarreled.”

              “I think you’re making fun of me.”

              “No, just amused.”

              “Well …” Liara frowned at him out of the corner of her eye.

              Kaidan smiled.  “You know how much I like you, Liara.  I’m not making fun.  But, uh … don’t be so sensitive.”

              He gave her a small shove with his free hand.  Her face stretched with a wide smile.

              “Fine.  I guess, everything just feels serious is all.”

              Kaidan looked off.  “Yeah.”  He thought for a moment then frowned.  “How did you know about … did Miranda say something?”

              “Oh, the Shadow Broker knows all,. Everything,” Liara said.

              Kaidan’s brow wrinkled.  His eyes dropped.  He studied the floor's tiles with a deepening fown. Liara pushed his arm lightly as if trying out the gesture.

              “What?” he asked.

              “I was joking.”  She grinned. 

              “Oh, good." Kaidan gave a weak grin.  "Kinda got concerned there.  Wondered what else you knew.”

              “Maybe you should wonder what I _don’t_ know.”

              “Huh. Well, if that’s the case," Kaidan's grin brightened, "lost a gray sock in the laundry last week.  Red stripe on top.  Any leads would be appreciated.”

              “Whereabout information isn’t a guarantee of recovery, you realize.”

              “I don’t need whereabouts.  It's  _how_ it go lost.  That's what I want to know. Checked the dryer, had everything in one basket coming and going.  Just keep asking myself where I went wrong. Why me?”

              Liara consulted her Omni-Tool. Kaidan stretched to see the screen but she shied away. 

She flicked the screen off, folded her hands, and turned back to him.  “It fell out of the basket when you dumped the laundry on your bed.  It’s under the bottom left corner of the bed next to the generic black sock you’re also missing, but you won’t remember losing.”

              Kaidan stared at her.

Liara grinned and leaned in eyeing him.  “I see everything …”

              “You’re giving me shivers.”  He leaned away.

              Liara chuckled and sat back. 

              Kaidan shook his head.  “You know, if departure wasn’t so close, I’d be racing back to my room to check under the bottom left corner of my bed.”

              “And if it's there?”

              “I’ll be terrified.  Also, I'd be starting a list of everything I'm missing.”

              “For you, I’d put my best people on it.”

              Liara smiled broadly at him.  The grin held as she turned forward again interlacing her hands in her lap.  Back to the good posture. The unemployment rate for chiropractors on Thessia had to be staggering.

              “So, how did you know about Miranda?” Kaidan said quickly.

              Enough thinking about posture.

              “I pieced it together,” Liara said.

              “So … Miranda asked if I was coming, cursed my name, and stormed onto the ship?”

              Liara raised her eyebrows.  “Almost exactly.  That’s quite good.  Ever consider working for the Shadow Broker?”

              “Is there dental insurance?”

              “All sorts of benefits.”

              Kaidan grinned. “I feel like you’re propositioning me, Liara.”

              “We could use someone with your ... talents.”

              “Still feel like I’m being propositioned.” 

              Liara broke a grin.  “I’m talking about your talents of deduction.  What are you talking about?”

              Kaidan beamed at her.  “Liara, you really are developing an edge.  You just had a bawdy conversation  with me, intentionally.”

              “Wait, wait … I have more.”  Liara twisted in her chair to face him and grinned.  “How’s your teamwork?  If you’re flexible, we have many open holes to fill.”

              “Liara!” Kaidan gaped lifting his face off his fist.  He darted a wide eyed look around them.  

              “Just a warning, if you're hired," Liara continued, "we do expect rigid hours of service.  Don’t come early or pull out too soon.”

              “What!”

              “And, hmm, how about -- Competition is stiff.  We fill our client openings by pushing large incentives.”

              Kaidan stared. "How do you even know this human stuff?”

              “Another?  We give our customers more than just lip service.  We provide a generous package with the full spread.”

              “Liara!” Kaidan covered his face with his hand. "You're making me blush."

              “Wait, no.  This is better.  Scrap that one.  Here …”

              “I’m afraid.”  He peeked at her through his fingers.

              “Our current thrust in excellence is to push long and hard to please our clients' needs.”

              “Liara!  I need ten showers I feel so dirty.”

              “Wait.  This one—”

              “Hey, I don’t want to have to board early with Miranda, Liara." Kaidan squirmed.  "You realize you're putting me in that position, right?”

              “What type of position?”

              Kaidan blurted a laugh.  He shook his head with a grimace. “I encouraged a monster.”  He stood up and looked down on her.  “You know there is a difference between bawdy and … well, _that_.”

              “You thought I was being too serious.”

              “Trust me.  I’ll be reviewing this in my head to see where I first went wrong.”

              “Reviewing it, hmm, Kaidan?” Liara raised an eyebrow.

              “Not for posterity.”  Kaidan picked up his bag.  “More like a crisis recovery project.  How do you even know all that stuff?  It’s human stuff.”

              Liara sighed slowly. She slouched back in the chair with a smug smile.

              “Very pleased with yourself, I see.”  Kaidan turned to the gate.  “You’re ruining your posture, by the way.”

              “Greet Miranda for me.”

              “You know, Liara,” Kaidan walked backward, “I'm actually afraid to look under my bed when I get back.  I haven’t felt that way since I was six.  Maybe Miranda’s not the scary one after all.” 

              Liara’s lips pulled back so wide, her teeth gleamed at him.  He passed through the gate into the airlock.  He hesitated on the boarding platform outside the airlock.  Okay, maybe he was still a little afraid of Miranda.  Nothing for it though.  He lifted the bag higher on his shoulder and pushed the button to open the ship’s airlock.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 19**

              Kaidan had forgotten how much more utilitarian other Alliance ships were compared to the Normandy.  Then again, the new Normandy was built by Cerberus, maybe it didn’t really count for a comparison.  An Alliance vessel would never have put a fish tank in the Captain’s quarters. 

He slid down a narrow, metal hallway of the Balmoral.  Everything was so dark and cramped.  Open space was a waste of space to the Alliance.  Kaidan had served on ships like this his whole life, but a year and a half on the Normandy, and he’d turned into a ship snob. 

Being restricted to passenger areas was new though.  He had access to a bunk, the bathrooms, and the passengers’ portside lounge.  The mess hall was his only real contact with the crew.  He swallowed dryly at that taste in his mouth again and stopped at the bathrooms.  He drank facet water out his hands with a grimace.  Two chasers of water hadn’t cut it.  That fruit juice, whatever it was, had an attitude.  One sip was already one too many.  Damn, he was even a snob over the ship’s food.

Seeing Ursul and Taccus in the mess hall was the first glimpsed he’d gotten of them since boarding.  He’d been hoping to talk to them.  Maybe if they if he talked to them while they weren’t shoulder to shoulder with the flight admiral, they could get somewhere.  But they’d pointedly avoided his eyes the whole meal. 

Kaidan lingered outside the bathroom weighing his options before turning toward the lounge.  A second lieutenant hurried past and gave Kaidan a curt nod.  Kaidan was kind of a pariah he was discovering, at least on board this ship. They were nice enough, but there was something there -- pity or disgust, maybe a mixture.  They knew who he was and that he’d been suspended.  They’d probably been advised to make sure he kept to the appropriate areas. 

The lounge doors opened onto a dim space cluttered with metal chairs and tables. Most of the passengers were probably still synchronize to Earth’s day and night cycle.  The space was empty except for Miranda hunched over a datapad on a table in the middle of the room.  She didn’t look up, and Kaidan glanced back at the door.  The doors started to slid shut. His hand twitched to reach out and catch it, but he stopped himself and watching the door seal shut.  He steeling himself and dropped into the chair across from Miranda.  

His gaze drifted over the little metal room, like the inside of can.  He missed the windows on the Normandy.  Of course, he did, he was a ship snob now after all.

“You want to talk?” he finally asked.

She looked up through her eyelashes at him.  “Not particularly, no.”

“Understood.”

He flicked his hand and stretched his fingers before pulling out a datapad. He must have held his arms at a weird angle. His fingers felt numb. 

He flicked it on the datapad.  It was weird not to have Alliance field reports, requisition papers, and briefings to review.  Tali, Garrus, and many of his other friends from the Normandy were flooding his inbox.  He still didn’t know what to say or how much he could say.  He needed to write something back though.

“I suppose you want to hug this out,” Miranda said not looking up from the datapad.

“Talk it out, yeah.  Why not?”

“What’s there to say?  You’re here.  Congratulations.”

“Okay.” Kaidan set his datapad down on his leg.  Miranda hunch even further over her reading, and Kaidan sighed.  “I don’t feel like that cleared the air.”

Miranda’s eye flickered up to him.  “We don’t need to be friends, Kaidan.  We both care about Shepard, that’s enough.”

“All right.  I can work with that, but I’d rather we were friends, or friendly.”

“Kaidan.” She sat up straight and gave him a hard look in the eye.  “You’re not all bad.  I think you’re okay, but we are not friends.”

Kaidan held her eye for a moment and then gave her a slow nod.  He grabbed his datapad and stood up. "For what it’s worth, Miranda, you were right.  I would have regretted it, and I appreciate you telling me that." He opened the lounge door.

“Kaidan.”

He paused. 

Miranda cocked her head and gave a long sigh.  "We can be … friendly.”

The corner of Kaidan's mouth lifted in a half-smile.  “Thanks.”

He made his way to his bunk with a yawn, staggering a little against the wall, and flopped down.  His hands still felt numb. He flexed them again before lifting the datapad above his face and reading another message.  Maybe he had a migraine coming on. He felt a woozy and had to squint to read the words.

Above him, his bunkmate, some relative of an Alliance Captain on Jump Zero, snored softly.  The metal frame creaked overhead as the man rolled over.  At least, Kaidan only had one roommate.  The room was too small for more than one bunk.  The datapad drifted lowered in Kaidan’s hand and dropped onto his chest.  He should message Tali back, fill her in before he forgot.  He closed his eyes.

 

* * *

 

“Kaidan!”

Kaidan started awake.  He stared around himself, head pounding, and sick to his stomach.  He was lying in a bunk somewhere.  The light overhead was so bright.  He sat up and something slipped off his chest and clattered to the floor.  He blinked trying to focus.  He was on a ship to Jump Zero.  That was right. 

Liara sat on the edge of his bed and peered into his face.  Something sharp jabbed his shoulder.  His datapad.  He grabbed onto it and looked up.

“Uh, thanks, Miranda.”

He dropped it in bed next to him and rubbed his face roughly with the back of a hand.  The room shifted around him.  Usually his headaches were better, not worse when he woke up.  He took a slow breath, twisted, and put his feet on the floor.  His bunk mate was gone.  It was only the three of them. 

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“We arrive intwenty-fours,” Liara said.

“What?” he shot up, grazing his head on the upper bunk.

“Careful!” Liara said.

“Jump Zero already?”

“You said this ship was faster than a freighter." Miranda strolled to the wall next to the door and leaned her back against it.

“How long was I asleep?”

“How should we know that?” Miranda asked.

“When did we talk in the lounge?”

“Yesterday,” Miranda said.  She checked her Omni-Tool.  “Twenty-four, twenty-two hours ago maybe.”

Kaidan hunched forward and held his head.  The bunk creaked as he sank down on the edge of the mattress. 

Liara got to her knees next to him.  “Are you all right?”

“How did I sleep for twenty-two hours?" His stomach churned.

Miranda’s boot clicked closer.  “Maybe you were—”

“Sorry.”Kaidan tore to his feet and rushed past her. 

He made it to the bathroom just in time to vomit.  No one was around.  He had that much luck.  He slid down onto the cold tiles and rested his face against the wall.  He might throw up again.  He tensed.  Yep.  He lunged forward.

 

* * *

 

“Goddess, Kaidan.”

Liara twisted her hands and peered into his face.  He staggered past them wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“I think I better lie down.”

“You’re sick?” Liara tripped along beside him. “Is it a migraine?”

Liara and Miranda followed him back to his room.  He ducked under the top bunk and fell back into his sheets.  The muscles of his legs felt shaky and weak.  His head screamed.  There was medicine in the bag at the foot of his bed, but he didn’t trust his stomach.

“Are you all right?” Liara lowered herself next to the head of the bed.

“I think I need to sleep,” he mumbled.

“You’ve already slept.”  Miranda loomed above, a sharp shadow against the overhead light.  “You really slept twenty-two hours?  And, you still need more sleep?”

“I don’t know.”  He closed his eyes.

A hand shook his shoulder.  Miranda bent over him.

Liara motioned her off with a hand.  “If he needs to sleep …” 

“He doesn’t need to sleep.”

“I need to sleep,” Kaidan repeated, his voice fainter than he intended.

“See,” Liara said.  “He’s sick.”

“Okay then.”  Miranda placed both hands on her hips.  “But why’s he sick?”

“He gets migraine from the—”

“I’m right here,” Kaidan said.

“Yes, we know that.” Miranda crouched next to his face.

She grabbed his wrist.  He pulled away, but she held fast. 

“Stop,” she snapped and extended his arm out.

She waited holding his wrist and then folded his arm back to his chest.  Her Omni-Light cut into the shadow under the top bunk, and she peered into each of his eyes.  He cringed, but the bright light in each eye didn’t cut and explode through his brain like it usually did.  She stood back chewing a lip as if considering it.  She bent and touched his forehead with the back of her fingers.

“A human contagion?” Liara stood.  “Perhaps—”

“No,” Miranda said.  She moved her face to fill his drooping vision.  “Did you eat anything?”

“He’s sick,” Liara said.  “We’ve been with him.  He hasn’t eaten.”

“Not now.  Before.  What did you eat before?”

“There was something I drank that was off.”

“Off?”

“Tasted off.  I only had a sip.”  He put a hand to his temple.  “What was wrong with it?”

“Someone bring it to you?”

“No, I got it myself.”

“Did you leave it unattended?”

“Hell, I don’t know.”  He dropped his hand to his side. “I don’t usually make a point of attending my drink.”

“Maybe you should.  In the future.”

“You think he was poisoned?” Liara asked.

“I don’t know,” Miranda said.  “I don’t have a way to test him, and the drink, if it was adulterated, is long gone too.”

“Someone was trying to kill him?” Liara’s eyes rounded.

“Well, he only had a sip, fortunately.  You usually don’t poison someone for a twenty-two hour nap.”

“I really want to make it more than twenty-two,” Kaidan said.  He sighed.  “Can I just sleep?”

“No.”  Miranda bent down and shook his shoulder.  “Stay awake.  You’re lucky you woke up at all.”

“If that’s true,” Liara said.  “Poisoned …”

“If that’s true,” Miranda repeated.

“Who though?” Liara asked.

“Anyone.”  Miranda shrugged.  “He’s nosing around in things a lot of people would kill over.  If someone wasn’t worried about getting away with it, there are a lot of ways to accomplish it.”

Kaidan moaned.  “Please, just go.”

“No.”  Miranda snapped her fingers in his face.  “Why don’t you just get out of bed.”

“Why can’t he sleep?” Liara crossed her arms.

“Because, if he was poisoned, we don’t know what it is.  We don’t’ know how long it will last or even what it does.  Maybe it’s the metabolites that will kill him.  They just need to accumulate more.  I don’t know.  Just … just best to stay awake.”

Kaidan groaned and sat up.  “Fine.”

Liara clicked her tongue.  “Could the other Spectres …”

“No,” Kaidan said.  “I was watching them the whole time.”

Liara shrugged.  “They could have given it to a third party.”

“I just don’t think so,” Kaidan said.  “We don’t know any of this is true anyway.”

“He’s right,” Miranda said.  “There’s a lot of crew, passengers.  Anyone could be involved.”

Kaidan shrugged.  “Just look for the most disappointed face when I show up for dinner.”

“Kaidan,” Liara said with a frown.

Miranda smirked.  “Sure, but maybe we just skip some meals until we get to the station.  Get our own drinks.”

“And attend them … apparently,” Kaidan said.

“You do learn,” Miranda said.

“Goddess, I can’t believe … if someone wants you dead, really wants you dead, it’s hard to stop them.”

Kaidan shot her a look.  “Thanks, Liara.  You really know what to say.”

“Well, it’s true,” Liara said.

“In a way,” Kaidan agree reluctantly.

“Okay.”  Miranda checked her Omni-Tool.  “We’ll be at Gagarin in the next twenty-four hours or so.  Let’s keep together until then.  And no sleeping.”  She shoved Kaidan.

“Damnit, Miranda, I wasn’t.”  He batted her hand away and stood.  “I don’t sleep with my eyes open.”

“Think your roommate’s going to mind us in here?” Liara asked.

“Probably only mind you and me.  Pretty sure he was checking you out, Miranda.”

Miranda rolled her eyes.  “We’ll stay together and ride it out.  Let’s keep out of your bunkmate’s way.  Let’s go to the lounge.”

Already to the door, Liara paused and waited.  Kaidan picked up his pillow. 

Miranda tore it away.  "No.”

“I wasn’t going to sleep.”

“What then?  Pillow fight?"  She tossed it back on the bunk and grabbed him around the arm.  She dragged him to the door. 

He pulled his arm loose.  “All right, you brute.”

Miranda grinned lopsidedly.  “Whatever.  Go.”

They found the lounge empty, except for two other passengers.  They looked up, gathered their things off a table, and left.

“Not expanding our social circle tonight, I guess.” Kaidan pulled out a chair and sat down with a thud.

“You’re loopy.”  Liara sat next to him.

“Yeah.  I feel weird.”

Miranda lingered next to a chair across from him, tapping her fingernails on the back, before she finally sat.  The metal tabletop creaked as Liara folded her hands on top and stared at the wall.

“What do you want to do?” Kaidan asked.  “I know what _I_ want to do, but someone vetoed it.”

“Let’s not drive each other crazy, for one,” Miranda said.  “We have over twenty hours of this.”

“Do _you_ get to sleep?”  Kaidan narrowed his eyes and glanced between them.

Miranda hung her head.  “This is going to be the longest part of the trip.”


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 20**

Kaidan’s eyes blinked open.  He lurched upright with a gasp.  He was in a bed and strained to focus as the room spun around him.  It felt like he may fall backward, and he braced himself with a shaky arm.

“Kaidan!” Liara’s voice.

This all seemed familiar -- waking up, Liara here, feeling sick like this.  He hadn’t been drinking.  That was a different time.  He closed his eyes and felt a touch on his back.

“Maybe you should lie down.”

The bed beneath him steadied.  His head was starting to clear.  He opened his eyes slowly.  Liara’s face, brow furrowed, blocked everything else from view.

“Are you still feeling sick?” she asked.

“Sick?”

He scooted back against the bed’s metal headboard.  The edge of the bed dipped as Liara sat down.  This was so familiar, a memory on the edge of remembering.

“You’re bewildered,” she said.

Gray, blank walls wrapped around them.  His bag sat in the corner.  He was in a real bed, not a bunk bed.  He wasn’t on the ship then.  He suddenly remembered he’d been a ship.  Liara shifted on the bed next to him with a frown.  She’d sat on the edge of his bunk bed on the ship when …

“Was I poisoned?” he asked.

It was ridiculous heard aloud, but the memory was there.  Fuzzy but real.

“Yes.  You don’t remember?”

Kaidan frowned.  Some of it was there, pieces and flashes -- the ship, a medical bay, here. 

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Gagarin.”

“Jump Zero …”

“You don’t remember this?”

“Jump Zero.” Kaidan repeated slowly.  His back shot straight.  He tore away the sheets and swung his feet off the bed.  “Where’s Shepard?”

“She’s here,” Liara said.

Kaidan stumbled to his feet.  He swayed and clutched the top of the headboard with one hand.

“Careful,” Liara said.  “Miranda said you’ll be weak.”

“Weak?”

The floor was stabilizing.  He slowly let go of the bedframe.  His legs felt steadier.

“Eat something,” Liara said going over to a kitchenet in the corner.  “You want applesauce?  It’s a human food.”

“Applesauce?” Kaidan said.

“Miranda said you’d need to eat.  You don’t remember going to the med ward?  Miranda checking you over?”

“No.  I … it’s all fuzzy.”

Liara shoved a cup and spoon at him.  “Just eat this.” 

She waved it in front of him until he took it.

“We kept you awake until we docked at the station.  Miranda took you straight off to the medical ward.  You were fine, woozy, but fine.  I brought you back here.  You’ve been sleeping.”

“What’s going on with Shepard?” Kaidan said.

“Miranda’s with her,” Liara said.  “Kaidan, she’s comatose.”

He leaned back against the wall next to his bed, shoulders slumped, and bones quivery.   He tore off the applesauce’s lid with a shaky hand and dug his spoon in.  He knew she was in a coma but hearing it still stung.  He stared at the applesauce on his spoon before taking a slow bite.  If he had to eat applesauce, it damn well better make him feel better, at least, physically.

“Why aren’t you with her?” He jabbed the empty spoon in Liara’s direction before scooping another bite.  “Why are you here with me?”

Liara’s arms crossed.  “I did see her, Kaidan.  You think I don’t care?”

“No.”  Kaidan pulled the upside-down spoon out from his mouth and set it back in the applesauce.  “I wasn’t saying that.”

“Then what?” Liara raised her eyebrows.

“Hell, Liara, I don’t know.”

Liara sniffed and turned away.  "This is your room.  We rented it for you.”  Liara paused at his door.  “You can find your way to the medical ward?”

Kaidan nodded.  She marched out without glancing back.  Kaidan finished the applesauce and tossed the container across the room at the wastebasket.  Pushing off the wall, he crossed over to his bag in the corner.  The clothes he had on were from two days ago.

His eyes fell on the bathroom door in the corner.  He had his own bathroom, a novel thing on Jump Zero.  Jump Zero.  It was surreal.  He’d never wanted to come back here, but he couldn’t think about it too much.  He wasn’t here for nostalgia.  He was here for Shepard.  He could get ready fast.  His bag had what he needed.  He rifled through it then headed to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

Maybe he could have used help finding the medical ward.  He scurried through the corridors trying different directions before he came across a sign.  The tight corridors, low ceilings, the metal floors punctuated with vent panels felt eerie and unsettling, even when he tried to push it down.  As his boot tapped over one of the vents, he could almost imagine stopping to pull it up, he and his friends sliding down inside and clapping the panel shut before those loud footsteps came around the corner.  This was probably where the security or station workers lived since the rooms were studio apartments and had their own bathrooms.  He wouldn’t have been in this section of the station much, but the halls were the same.

He turned the corner.  Wide metal and plexiglass doors stood at the end of a short hallway with “Medical Ward” printed over top.  Kaidan sped up.  The doors slid aside, and he moved through a large open sitting area.  A few civilians, station personnel probably, paced along the walls and fidgeted in chairs.  A woman at the desk looked up as Kaidan rushed up to her.

“I’m looking for—"

“Kaidan.”

Miranda’s head popped around the corner of an open doorway to his right.

“Uh, never mind.”  He nodded to the receptionist and backed away.

Miranda wore a white lab coat, her hair tied up on top of her head.  She gave him a dull expression, dark crests under her eyes, as she ushered him through the doorway.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Me? I’m fine.”

She indicated a white-washed hallway off to the side.  He stepped in beside her, the air buzzing with florescent lighting and smelling of chemical cleaners.  She didn’t rush at her usual breakneck pace, more of a slow plod.  A datapad hung limply from the hand at her side.  She turned them down an intersection. 

“You’re better, I take it?” Miranda said.  “Your tox screen came back.  Picked up levels of Trans-Carboxytraslucent Maltose (TCM).  It wasn’t able to pick up on the other metabolites or the originating poison, but nothing you don’t already know.”

“Why would I know that?”

“All your work on Terra Firma, all those poisonings.  TCM always comes back in the blood.  Sure, it’s a poison itself, causes respiratory arrest, but they aren’t using straight TCM.  You’re studying these guys.  You don’t know that?”

“I probably read it somewhere,” Kaidan sighed.  “TCM doesn’t mean anything to me.  It’s a poison.  That’s all I need to know.”

“Well, that ‘TCM,’ you don’t need to know, almost headlined your postmortem.  Might be worth reading up on.  The TCM antidote hasn’t worked on your poisoning victims.  It’s just a metabolite of the starting poisoning, and there have to be other deadly metabolites.  It’s too much going on to just be TCM – sedation, amnesia, paralysis -- and at the higher doses, death.  TCM, by itself, not a product of metabolism, isn’t even absorbed orally.  Find that originating poison, you could create a binding agent to neutralize it in the circulation before it's metabolised.” 

“Can we not talk about this right now,” Kaidan said. 

Miranda brought the back of her hand to her mouth.  Her jaw clenched as if stifling a yawn.

“Have you slept?” he asked.

She dropped her hand, pace slowing even further, and gave him a critcal look.  “I’m sure you don’t understand that kind of resilience.”

He had a vague memory of her stealing his pillow.  “I was, uh … pretty out of it.”

Miranda shrugged.  “That’s the excuse drunks use too, but I’ve always thought when someone’s loosened like that, you see who they really are.”

“And, what?  You think I’m fussy?”

“Stubborn.”  Miranda stopped at the end of a hall splitting two directions.  “Amusing though.  Sometimes.  You remember challenging us to that made-up biotics game?”

“Vaguely.”

Miranda pointed right, and they continued at an ambling pace.  He wanted to push ahead and make her pick up her feet, but the drooped look in her eyes made him hold back. 

Miranda glanced sideways at him with a smirk.  “You remember your little biotic contests? See who could stack the chairs the highest, lift the most chairs the longest, the tug-o-war.”

Kaidan grinned despite himself.  He really didn’t feel like grinning.  “Yeah, okay.  I do kind of remember that.  What else do you do when all your friends in the room are biotics?  Well, not _friends,_   _friend_ and someone you’re friendly with?”

Miranda raised an eyebrow at him with a slanting smile, then looked forward again.  “Kaidan, I suppose it didn’t occur to you, but there are things to do that don’t involve biotic one-upmanships.  Reading, conversation, thoughtful reflections.”

“That would have been setting me up for failure, Miranda.  You wanted me awake, right?”

They slowed as they came to a metal door. It looked like all the rest up and down the hall. Kaidan’s heart throbbed in his throat. 

“She’s inside,” Miranda said.

“Okay.”  He took a breath listening to his heartbeat.  He reached for the open button. 

“She’s not going to wake up,” Miranda said. Kaidan’s hand pause.  “Not until I figure this out and something gets done.”

“The implant.  Have you …”

“Not yet.  Looking at the scans, it’s what I thought but …” She shoved her hands into her lab coat pockets and lowered her gaze.

Kaidan stepped back from the door.  “What?”

“It’s getting worse, Kaidan.”  She looked him in the eye.  “The brain activity -- it’s not static like I assumed.  It’s increasing.  Since we’ve been here, it’s already increased.  Spiraling up, spreading.”

Kaidan dropped his forehead into his hand.   “What does that mean?”

“It will spread to the cerebellum.  She’ll be on a ventillator, life support.  It will continue to ramp up until it’s too much, then burns out in a burst.  Even now, I’m not sure what damage it’s causing.  Maybe nothing yet, but it will.”

“You need to do something soon?” Kaidan whispered.

Miranda met his eyes.  “Soon.”

Kaidan nodded slowly.  His chest ached, empty and hollow. “Okay.”

“I know you don’t want me to—”

“Do it.”

Miranda’s lips parted, eyebrows drawing together as she studied him. “You said …”

“I said I would trust you.  I do.  Do whatever you need to do.”

“Kaidan.”  Miranda stepped in close putting her face a hand’s breath from his.  “If something goes wrong, I won’t have you holding it against me.”

Kaidan’s forehead pinched, holding her eyes.  “Hell, Miranda, I wouldn’t do that.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Fine.”  Miranda shrugged and stepped back from him.

“Miranda, you saved Shepard before.  You brought her back from the dead for Hell’s sake.  If something happened, I wouldn't  --'”

“I said okay.”  Miranda put up a hand.  She nodded toward the door.  “Go ahead.”

“When would you …”

“I need to get things prepared.  There are still some things to try first.  I’ll tell you before.”

Kaidan set his mouth and gave a her a nod.  She turned and headed down the way they had come.  The clicking of her heels echoed back to him.  He put a palm on the door and leaned his forehead against it for a second.  His heart beat in his ears.  Before he could overthink it, he touched the button.

The door opened.  Kaidan stopped in the doorway.  A hospital bed stood in the center of the room with a blanketed form surrounded by blinking monitors.  His eyes fixed on her face.  The ashen-hue made his breath catch, and he stumbled a step forward.  The door clicked shut.  He jumped.

A chair creaked beside the bed.  Kaidan hadn’t noticed it.  It had been dragged up to the foot of her bed.  A head twisted and looked over the back of the chair at him.

“Joker?”

“Kaidan?” Joker said.  He blinked at Kaidan, eyes shifting to the door behind.  “Damn.  Where'd you come from?”

Kaidan drew closer.  He rarely saw Joker without his baseball cap.  The hat lay on his lap.  Joker shifted in his seat.  The crutches propped against his chair slipped and clanged together.  Joker reached out to steady them. 

“Joker?” Kaidan repeated still surprised.

“Uh, hasn’t been that long, right, Kaidan?  We’re back to introductions?”

Kaidan’s eyes moved to Shepard.  Her closed eyes sank into shadowy hollows, skin waxy and bloodless.  Kaidan touched her hand.  Cold.  It took concentration, but he could see her chest rise and fall under the scratchy-looking cloth blanket.

“Shepard …”

Joker moved in his chair and grabbed his crutches.  “I’m going.”

“Stay.”  Kaidan looked over his shoulder and nodded to the chair, but Joker was already standing.

Joker rubbed roughly at his face, red splotches rimming his eyes.  He caught Kaidan looking at him and pulled his cap on.  He tugged the bill low over his face.  The chair scrapped back as Joker shoved off it and put his weight on the crutches.

“Joker …”

“I was going to leave anyway.  Conversation was good and all but kinda felt like she was zoning out on me at the end.” 

Joker paused at the door.  Maybe he expected Kaidan to say something, but Kaidan’s mouth felt dry.  He looked back down at Shepard’s face, and Joker let out a soft snort.

“Well, okay then.  So nice catching up with you, Kaidan.  Like usual.  I’ll just be going.  Wouldn’t want you thinking there’s more than just you who cares about Shepard too."    

Kaidan didn’t look back at the door and waited until it slid shut over the sound of Joker’s crutches going down the hall.  Kaidan grabbed Shepard’s hand and held it in both of his.  She should look like she was sleeping, but she didn’t.  Gray mottled her skin.  The hollows of her checks and crevice of her eyes sank into shadow.   Her lips made an expressionless, rigid line, chapped and blood-drained.  Her skin felt frozen.  He squeezed her hand between his, but her hand wouldn’t warm.

He drew Joker’s chair up to the head of the bed and sat.  He clutched her cold fingers and stared at her.  Her face blurred, and he was glad he wasn’t light years away.  Miranda was right.  He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 21**

“You’re not finding anything either then?” Kaidan paced in the hospital lounge.

“The Normandy’s computer looks the same as the Alliance’s mainframe.  I can’t find anything even to restore.  It was never backed up,” Liara said.

“He had to have messages, at least spam.”

“I don’t know why you think I could find something to restore if you couldn’t.  My people do the hacking, not me.”

“Different perspective, different approach.  Worth a try at least.  He must have a non-networked device then.”

“Kaidan,” Liara said.  “Let’s do something else.  This is useless.”

Kaidan pulled a chair out from the table and thudded down next to her.  It was nice they’d been given access to one of the hospital’s lounges, but it was starting to close in.  Shepard’s room was just down the hall.  The lounge was really meant for patient’s families.  They were the closest thing to it though.  Liara turned off the datapad and set it on the table.

“James asked me again—”

“I can’t,” Kaidan said.  “Not until the Spectres give me clearance to see him.  He’s probably their best sources of information.”

Liara folded her hands on the table top.  “Have they cleared you to talk to anyone?”

Adams and Cortez were the hospital rooms down the hall.  It grated on Kaidan’s nerve every time he passed by their rooms.  Their conditions were stable, healing, but it would be nice to check in on them, even just briefly.

“I haven’t been cleared to see anyone yet,” Kaidan said.

“It’s been a few days.”

“Oh, I know.”  Kaidan leaned back in his chair and poked at the table leg with his boot.  “Does this table seem wobbly to you?”

“Yes,” Liara sighed.  “Because you’re kicking at it.”

“Testing it,” he said and stood up again.

Liara followed him back and forth with her eyes as he paced.  He stopped and leaned a hand on the table.

“How did the biotic chair game turn out?”

“What?”

“Miranda said while we waited on the ship …”

“Oh.”  Liara frowned.  “ _That_.  Fine.”

Kaidan rubbed a hand across his jaw and looked down at her.  “Who won?”

She looked up from under her brow at him.  “We stopped after you broke the chair.”

“Oh … Oh, yeah,” Kaidan said.  “The tug-o-war.  I think I kind of remember.  But Miranda broke it too.  Like a wishbone.”

Liara crossed her arms.  “Miranda and I fitted it back together and propped it up in the corner.  I’m afraid the next person who sits down though …”

“I hope the person that spiked my drink decides to relax in the guest lounge then.”

“You haven’t seen anything?”

“I’ve been here.  And, I’ve attended my drinks.”

“Miranda would be proud.”

“I think it’d take a lot to make Miranda proud.”

Kaidan leaned against the far wall.  He’d hardly seen the station.  He’d spent his time either in the hospital ward or sleeping in his quarters.  Poking around might only stir up the bad stuff. 

Kaidan put out a hand and flared blue.  Liara twisted as the chair next to her glowed and rose off the floor.

“Want to play?” Kaidan asked.

The breakroom door opened.  The chair clattered to the floor.  Miranda strode into the room swinging a datapad in one hand.  She pivoted until her eyes found Kaidan, and she pointed at him.

“There he is.”

A turien face peeked around the corner.  For a flash of a second, Kaidan saw Vyrnus’s face looking him in the eye.  But, it wasn’t Vyrnus, it was Taccus.  Ursul came in with him.

“I have some messages to check.”  Liara stood, picked up her datapad, and moved out the door behind Miranda.

“Spectre,” Kaidan said and stood away from the wall.

“Alenko,” Ursul said flatly.

Taccus’s eyes narrowed on Kaidan as they crossed the lounge to him.

“What can I do for you?” Kaidan asked.

“Where’ve you been?” Ursul asked with an edge to her voice.

“What do you mean?” Kaidan looked between them.  “I’ve been here.  Ask Liara.  Ask Miranda.”

“All night?”

“I slept for some of it.”

“Dr. T’Soni or Ms. Lawson can attest to that, too?” Taccus asked clasping his talons behind his back.

Kaidan stifled a smirk.  “Uh … no.”

“This is humorous to you?” Ursul stepped up to him, almost bumping feet. 

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan said. “But I don’t even know what _this_ is.”

Taccus put out an arm and pressed Ursul back a step.

“The two men in our custody that attacked the Normandy,” Taccus said.  “They’re dead.”

Kaidan stared wide-eyed.  “What?”

“Poisoned,” Taccus said.  “It was in their food.”

“You claim to have been poisoned, too, we hear.” Ursul didn’t step closer again, but the tension in her muscles made it seem like she wanted to.

“I may have been,” Kaidan said.  “Miranda found TCM, some metabolite.”

“And you don’t know who would have done that?  You know nothing?” Ursul said.

“It may have been in my drink.  It was someone aboard.  That’s all I know.”

“Someone poisons you, and that’s it?” Ursul said.  “No looking into it, trying to figure out who this person is that tried to kill you?”

“I’ve been focused on other things.”  Kaidan steadied himself by taking a deep breath.  “I looked at the manifest, and I did a cursory background check with my Spectre credentials.  It’s all crew, medical personnel, or family of people stationed here.  Everything checks out.  What more should I have done?”

 “You should have contacted us immediately,” Ursul said.

Kaidan shrugged.  “It may have had to do with my investigation into Terra Firma cells back on Earth.  Or maybe I just looked at someone the wrong way.  How was I supposed to know it would connect to this?”

Taccus put up a hand and looked between them. 

“It’s over and done.  We know now.  Spectre Alenko, I believe it would’ve been a safe assumption to think your poisoning could be connected to our investigation.  Perhaps you distrust us and that’s why you didn’t saying anything, but don’t say you didn’t tell us because you didn’t suspect it.”

Kaidan crossed his arms and stared at them for a moment. 

“All right,” Kaidan said finally.  “I’m sorry I didn’t alert you to it.”

“Good,” Taccus nodded.  “Now, you don’t have any information that can help us?  You know nothing more than this?”

“Miranda can give you access to my medical records.  I’m fine with that.”

“And no sample of this poison?” Ursul stood rigidly.

“No.  I think it was put in my drink, but the drink’s long gone.”

“If we have a sample, we can manufacture an antidote,” Ursul said.

“The Alliance has been trying to recover a sample too.  We’ve seen it with Terra Firma’s professional hits.”

“This assassin uses biotics too,” Taccus said. 

Kaidan’s heart leaped.  “Biotics?”   

“Nothing else explains how the food was tampered.  Multiple witness all clearing each other.  One saw a blue light.  All of them remember a static feel in the air.”

“Takes a powerful biotic to feel that.”  Kaidan said.  “A powerful biotic killed Primarch Victus.  There was TCM in his blood.  The Prague delegates and some other high-profile hits have involved a biotic and use of that poison.”

Ursul stared hard at Taccus and cleared her throat.

“And, when we check your whereabouts, we won’t find anything incongruent?” Ursul said.

“Am I suspected?” Kaidan frowned between them.

“We just want to make sure there isn’t a connection.  That’s all,” Taccus said.

“There isn’t,” Kaidan said.  “Aside from being warm up practice.”

“Think they’ll attempt it again, Spectre?” Taccus cocked his head, truly curious.   No alarm or concern at all, just curiosity.

“You’ll be the first to know if they do,” Kaidan said.

“Good,” Taccus said.  “Until then we’ll be investigating the ship manifest a little closer.  At least, we have it narrowed that far.  And you suggested that Dr. T’Soni and Ms. Lawson would be available to speak with us?”

“I don’t know why not.”

Taccus nodded.  Ursul moved back a step and turned to the door.

“Have I been cleared to see anyone, yet?” Kaidan asked.

“No.  Sorry, Spectre,” Taccus said.

Kaidan hissed a sigh but gave a nod.  Ursul stopped misstep and turned back around.

“What are you doing here by the way?” Ursul said.  “Just waiting for us to release someone for you to see?”

“Here?” Kaidan frowned.  “Jump Zero?  You know why I’m here.”

“Not Jump Zero,” Ursul snapped, as if she thought he’d purposefully misunderstood to deflect answering the question.  “The medical ward?”

“You’re spending time with Dr. T’Soni?  Ms. Lawson?”  Taccus offered questioningly.

Kaidan glanced between them and shifted on his feet.

“I haven’t been to see anyone if that’s what you’re concerned about.  I’ve been here and Shephard’s room.  The only places I’ve been.”

“Shepard?” Ursul said and suddenly took a step forward.  “Our agreement—”

Taccus moved into Ursul path and nodded to the exit.

“We can discuss this at another time,” Taccus said.  Whether he was saying that to Ursul or Kaidan himself, Kaidan wasn’t sure.

They left before Kaidan could say another word.  His mind raced with the questions.  He leaned against the wall and tipped his head back to look at the metal sheets of the ceiling.  It was the same ceiling he’d studied for countless hours -- lying in his bed at night, trying to sleep, thinking of his family, his friends back on Earth, wondering how life would have been if he’d been born normal.  The room was stifling.  It was time to get out for a while.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 22**

Kaidan glanced over his shoulder again down the dim metal hallway.  Still no one.  Being on an assassin’s hit list made wandering the halls more exciting than it deserved.  He’d wandered Jump Zero for hours.  Each glance backward and peek around the corner was a mix of relief and disappointment.  Kaidan took a sharp right.  His room was just ahead, another successful, or rather, unsuccessful trek back to his room.   Shadows moved by his door.  Kaidan reared back, hand glowing blue, and heart pounding.

“Whoa,” said a voice.

Kaidan’s muscle relaxed.  A form stepped out into the hall with palms up. 

Kaidan squinted.  “James?”

The blue light evaporated off Kaidan’s skin.  Again, that rush of relief and disappointment.

James chuckled and dropped his hands.  “Que onda, L2.”

Kaidan hesitated, glanced around them, then continued forward.

“James, I can’t talk to you.”

“Yeah.  What’s the deal with that?”

Kaidan stopped in front of him.  “Liara messaged you about it.”

“I already talked to the Spectres.”

“They must plan on talking to you more.  They haven’t cleared me to see you.”

Kaidan stepped around him to the apartment door.  James edged in front of him blocking the way.

“Hey.  Come on, Kaidan.”

Kaidan’s jaw clenched, and he stepped backward a step.  A glance either direction only showed dark, silent hallways, still except for the flickering overhead lights.  Kaidan crossed his arms and sharpened his eyes on James.

“You are tense.”  James studied him.  “Baja un cambio, man.”

“That means?”

“Uh, essentially, take it easy.  Chill.”

Kaidan checked his Omni-Tool.  He’d been walking longer than he thought.  It was already the middle of the night cycle.

“Think the Specs are really gonna ‘clear’ me?” James asked.

Kaidan gave a weary shrug.  “You’re an important witness.  I imagine they have a lot of questions.”

“They’ve already asked me a lot of questions, trust me.”  James laughed.  “I mean, no one’s gotten to my prom date’s name or my favorite color, but they’re getting there.”

Kaidan scanned the top of the corridor along the wall.  No flashing lights or anything visible, but they had to be there.  He turned back to James.

“We’re probably on surveillance footage,” Kaidan said.  “You’re putting me in a bad spot.  And yourself.”

“But hey, look, I got you somethin’.”

James pointed his eyes down to a datapad tucked her his arm.  Kaidan hadn’t noticed it at first.

“Yeah?”  Kaidan stifled a grin.  He couldn’t help himself.

“Want me to give it to you here?”

“No.” Kaidan took another step back.  “In case they find out about this, we don’t need to be seen exchanging anything.  How about …” Kaidan’s mind ran through the twists and turns of the corridors he’d roamed.  “There’s a passage at the end of the hall behind me.  There’s some construction work down there, crates and equipment.  Maybe I’ll wander by there later.”

James’s mouth slanted into a grin.  “Entiendo, L2.”

“What’s on the datapad?”

He should hurry James along, but the question was too tempting to not slip in.  The longer they talked in the hall, the harder it was going to be to explain away though.

“Heard a rumor you might be interested in Anchor’s datapad,” James said.  “Adams was piecing it back together after Anchor ‘accidentally’ stepped on it.  Found it in Adams’s stuff.  Looks almost done.  Thought since you’re tech and all, maybe you could finish it up.  You know, before I turn it.  No good turning something in that’s all busted, right?”

Kaidan just moved to the door to his room and unlocked it.

“Later, L2.”

“Bye, James.”

Kaidan stepped into him room and checked the time on his Omni-Tool.  There needed to be some delay to not look suspicious.  He pulled up a chair and waited.

 

* * *

 

Only when Kaidan found it did he realize he’d been looking for it all along.   All the crisscrossing and poking around crowded halls, empty rooms, plazas, back passages, and now into the condemned section of the station -- his feet had been leading him here all along.  It was the last place he’d ever wanted to stand again.  But, it had drawn him unconsciously like his biotics drawing him to condensed eezo, that deep hum and rhythm too deep to even know why your feet moved toward it.  So, here he stood, the spot where everything had changed.  He could almost see Vyrnus across the room charging at him, the knife, the burst of blue light.  He’d killed Vyrnus here.  First life he’d taken.  The only one he was really sorry for.  It was done, past, it could never be taken back, but that didn’t mean, he couldn’t wish it had never happened.

He stared around the dark auditorium, datapad glowing in his hand.  It went endless meters high overhead, maybe the whole heigth of the station.  Half-walled balconies overlooked the open space for the first three stories up.  Then the walls changed into a smooth, metal dome, rising up so high he couldn’t make out the top of it in the gloom.  A lot of biotic exercises happened here, faces watching from the balconies overhead, taking notes, Vyrnus pacing the wall yelling at them.

Kaidan moved to a stairway and climbed the steps to the first story overlook.  The center of the arena below must have been planted with vegetation, probably tall trees, at one time, sometime after his time here.  It had fallen into neglect though along with the rest of this section of the station.  Now there was an empty, dirt-filled planter in the center of the stage, where they’d practiced their exercises. Dust stirred slowly in the pale shafts of light from the top overlook, the only area with still functioning emergency lights. 

There were a few lights along the floor on this balcony but so dim the bulbs would likely give out soon.  The sharp chill, the stale taste to the air, that stillness louder than any ship’s engine – the life support systems, air handling, the environmental controls had to be on an extended cycle, maybe they’d been shut off.  This auditorium must have been abandoned for years by the look of it.  It took a lot of money for station upkeep.  No surprise really that a section had been condemned.  It would probably piss someone off if they realize he’d trespassed into it.  The structural integrity after this sort of long disrepair could be iffy.  Maybe after he fell through the floor, he’d be pissed off at himself, too, for trespassing.

The balcony crested the auditorium in a half circle.  A metal bench was shoved in the corner at the end closest to him.  Kaidan tapped the datapad against his thigh, walked over, and sat.  He leaned back against the cool metal of the wall and slouched into the corner.  A quick check of the back of his sleeve showed the grim, but he settled back anyway.

He’d fixed the datapad relatively quickly.  Adams had done most of the work.  After all the searching for Anchor’s emails, the screen had lit up and it was suddenly right there.  Kaidan brought the emails up again on the screen.  Maybe the fifth read through would provide some insight the first, second, third, and fourth hadn’t.  He’d roamed the empty halls reading each message over and over again before finding himself here.

Metal creaked to his right, a soft sound, distant.  Kaidan bolted upright on the bench.  Darkness gaped in the mouth of two hallways leading to the balcony from deeper in the station.  Kaidan’s breath slowed, and he strained to catch the slightest sound.  A soft shuffling, the nearest hallway.  Kaidan shot to his feet, snatched out his pistol, and slipped along the wall.  Soft footsteps still a few meters back.  Light feet, metal creaking as the they passed over one of the vent panels in the floor.  Kaidan held the pistol to his chest and pressed up against the corner.  It was too dark to not give himself away if he flared his biotics in preparation.  The footsteps were nearly close enough, slowing even.  They didn’t seem to be sneaking.  They were just light.  Kaidan frowned.

“Kaidan?” a female voice.

The pistol loosened in his fingers.  He peeked around the corner.  “Liara?”

He stepped out.

She stopped short, eyes widening on the pistol falling to his side. “I’m sorry.  I should have known I’d alarm you.”

Kaidan followed her eyes to his gun.  He folded it up and returned it into his belt.

“Uh, yeah.  Being an assassin’s unfinished project can make you a little jumpy.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be out like this.” Liara continued up to him.  “Why are you here alone?”

“Needed to move around, clear my head.” He turned back to the balcony, heart slowing, and leaned forward against the waist-high wall overlooking the auditorium.  He held up the datapad and looked over his shoulder at her.  “James got me Anchor’s messages.”

“They’re what you needed then?”

“No.” Kaidan rested an elbow on the railing wall.  “I think they’re encrypted.”

“Encrypted?” Liara stood next to him.

“Not gibberish like what was going back and forth between the Normandy and Earth, but these emails are off.  The ones with his mom?  I’d never talk to my mom that way.  Stilted, formal, just odd.”

“Not everyone has the same relationship with family as you.  I’ve searched almost a year for my father on Thessia, but if we exchanged correspondence, it may seem stilted, formal, odd.”

“Yeah?” Kaidan scrolled down the list of emails with his thumb.  He clicked one.  “You’d say, ‘Dear my mother, How sits the world with you tonight?  Long has this voyage been to me, on this the second week’?”

Liara paused.  “That … does sound odd.”

“Stilted, formal, odd, like I said,” Kaidan said.  “You wouldn’t write that to your father.”

Liara rested her arms across the top of the wall like Kaidan.

“Maybe not,” she said quietly and lowered her eyes.

Kaidan studied her face in the dim light. 

“Still no word?” Kaidan asked softly.

Liara glanced at him with a quick smile.  “No, not yet.  There’s still trouble communicating with Thessia.  I haven’t had time to press too deep into it.  Not yet.”

The datapad dangled in Kaidan’s fingertips over the edge of the balcony.  He followed her eyes to the dirt planter below, the air turning slowly above it.

“What is this place?” Liara asked.

“It …” Kaidan hesitated. 

He wasn’t sure how much she knew.  She was the Shadow Broker.  She probably knew more about it than Kaidan did himself. 

“They did biotic exercises here,” he said simply.

Liara didn’t ask anything further.  She stood silent and looked out over the dusty platform then up the deep cylindrical shaft above.

“How did you find me?” Kaidan asked.

“What?” She looked over at him as if broken from thought.  “You have your Omni-Tool on.  You should disable the locator.”

Kaidan slapped a hand on the Omni-Tool on his wrist and flicked the screen on.

“Still using my loaner.” He punched through a series of screens until he found the locator settings.  “Thanks.  I didn’t think about that.”

“On the ship, you were repairing your Omni-Tool.”

“Yeah, it’s finished.  Mostly.” Kaidan relaxed forward against the balcony.  “Could probably return this one now.”

Kaidan glanced over.  Liara was staring at his Omni-Tool.  She looked up and met his eyes with a smile.

“Your niece that answered my call.  Back on Earth.  By human standards, she was very cute.”

“Human standards?”

“I would consider her an attractive child.  I think by human standards of what is aesthetically pleasing, you would agree, even in light of your obvious bias.”

Kaidan grinned widely. “Flattering me over my nieces?”

“I can’t speak to the rest of your nieces as I didn’t see them, but considering genetic influence on attractiveness and similar levels of expected grooming in a family unit, I assume they also are very … pleasing.”

Kaidan laughed.  “Thanks, I guess.”

“Is that wrong to say?” Liara’s eyes rounded.  “A faux pas?”

“No, it’s fine,” Kaidan said.  “Just a very anthropological way of looking at it.  It’s a compliment though.  I’m aglow with family pride.”

She pressed her lips together in a concentrating frown.  She shot a glance at him before looking away.

“Liara.” Kaidan leaned forward on the railing wall to catch her eye.  “I’m serious.  I enjoy talking to you.  I’m not making fun.”

“I always say the wrong things.”

“I say the wrong things too.”  Kaidan shrugged.  “Who knows how many turiens or hanar or asari I’ve left baffled, or worse, offended.”

“You don’t say that many wrong things,” Liara said.

“Neither do you,” Kaidan said.  “We’re different is all.  It only makes you more interesting.  I mean, not that I want to generalize any race off of one person, but I’ve learned a lot knowing Wrex and Garrus and Tali.  You.  I haven’t really gotten to know any other asari.”

Her eyes flicked to the side and studied him.  “As a young human male, I’m surprised.  You’ve been off world.”

“If we’re talking dancers, that’s not really my scene.  Anyway, in how many of those trysts, could they say they really knew each other?”

“They would know each other.  If it’s an asari.”  Liara hunched forward on the railing wall and rested her chin on a fist.  “There are different degrees to a melding.  Shepard and I, it was shallow, just skimming the surface.  Business.  I shared a memory with her once though.  It was meaningful.  A true melding though is said to be deep and transcending, a truly joining experience of soul and mind.  Between strangers, it would be difficult to reach true depth, but I imagine even they walk away knowing each other quite a bit.  Probably better than the acquaintances someone came to the bar with.”

Kaidan stood rigid, fingers fidgeting with the railing, and eyes fixed on the floor below.  He shifted and cleared his throat.

“You know, I studied biotics here,” he said.

It was a jarring transition, one he hadn’t really meant to make.  He drummed his fingers at a quickening pace before catching himself and pulling his hands back.  He gestured at the stage area below.

“We did biotic exercise there.”

Liara blinked thoughtfully at him then glanced down at the stage.

“When you were a child?”

“Seventeen.  Spent a year here.”

Liara nodded silently.  She spared a quick sideways glance at him.  Kaidan turned to her.

“Do you already know this? About me?” Kaidan asked.

She turned slowly dragging a hand lightly across the top of the balcony wall and faced him.

“I …” She held his eye for a moment then looked down.  “Yes.”

“It’s all right.”  Kaidan folded his arms.  “It’s not a secret.”

“It is something personal.” Liara’s eyes flicked up to him, then dropped again.  “I’ve come to know a lot of things about people since rising to my new position.  I don’t mean to pry.  I just … know things.”

“I thought you probably knew.” Kaidan shrugged.  “It was long time ago.”

Liara raised her head and held his eyes.

“Is it hard to be here?” she asked.

“It’s hard to be here because of Shepard.  Knowing she’s …” Kaidan squared himself back to the railing.  He swallowed the pit at the back of his throat before continuing.  “But, uh, the memories?  I guess they’re hard in a way, but they were a long time ago.  I remember how I felt, but I don’t feel that way now.  I can empathize with the person I was, but things have changed.  I’ve changed.”

“Shepard knows about this?” Liara looked out over the arena standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

“Yes.”  It was silently for a while, just their breathing in the darkness, low flickery hum of the emergency lights. Kaidan pointed down at the stage again.  “We were practicing shielding barriers once.  Could never get three people to interweave their barriers together, but you could get two with work, skill.  We paired off.  Had to drive our combined shields against another pair’s, try to force theirs back and break it.

“A friend of mine, Alex, together, we could weave a pretty solid barrier for the shield wall, but the other team was good too.  Petra was an extraordinary biotic.  Maybe still is maybe, I don’t know.  Either way, we were pretty evenly matched, going back and forth only slightly, mostly just gridlocked.”

“Gridlocked?” Liara asked.

“Yeah.  If we had been my biotic team sparing, I would stop the match.  Straining against each other that long, someone’s only going to get hurt.  Push them all into biotic fatigue.  The winning team becomes just the first one not to have a team member collapse.  Bloody nose, shaky, delirious.  It ceases to be about biotic skill and more about who had the biggest breakfast, the most sleep, strained their biotics less in the previous exercises.”

“But you didn’t stop?” Liara said.

Kaidan shook his head.  “No.  Vyrnus, the instructor, he pushed us hard, egged us on, wouldn’t let us give up.  Said whoever lost wouldn’t have dinner.  Teenagers edging on biotic fatigue, we couldn’t imagine not eating for twelve hours and just waiting for breakfast.  So, we pushed hard.  Alex was starting to shiver.  I nearly threw up.  Petra and her partner were running down too.  I remember seeing Petra’s face though the blue energy -- panting, blood running out her nose.  Alex and I started getting the upper hand, driving their shield back.  It was almost there, just starting to break.  We felt relief it would be over.”

Liara waited, her eyes on him.  “And what happened?”

Kaidan turned to look at her.  “Vyrnus hit me with a chair.  He was over there, the same level we are now, pacing back and forth on the balcony urging us on.  There was a chair against the wall near the staging area behind us.  He biotically lifted it and slammed it into us, threw us both off balance.  Alex fell, cracked his head.  Just staggered me.  Our biotics faltered.  Happened for only a second.  Exhausted, on the verge of winning, starting to let our guard down, that chair ramming into our backs, and I faltered.  I regained my footing, pushed the shield back out, but it was too late.  We couldn’t recover.  Just a twitch was all it took.  Petra’s shield broke through ours before I could harden it.  We lost.”

Kaidan pushed away from the railing wall and went to the metal bench in the corner.

“Were you okay?” Liara asked turning to him.

“Yeah.  Alex was in the infirmary a few weeks, but came back.  I was fine.  Mad as hell, but only a little bruised.  And hungry.  Passed out in my room later that night, hit my head going down.  I couldn’t see good in any of it.  I was just furious.  I hated Vyrnus.  Hated the program.  Hated that I wasn’t like the rest of my family.  Wished I could just be on the beach, flinging sand at my sister or body surfing with my friends, anything different than rotting in this hell hole.  I felt pretty bad for myself.”

Liara strolled over and sank down next to him on the bench.  “The typed report in some files somewhere couldn’t have told me all that.  You don’t feel that way now though?”

“No.” He hunched forward and folded his hands in front of him.  “At the time, even for a long time after maybe, it still felt pointless, made me so angry.  But years later, before the Normandy, before Shepard, I was serving on the _Poseidon_.  I was just a second lieutenant.  We were called in on a batarian raid on a mining facility near Quinwark.  I was shielding my unit.  I rarely had other biotics in my team, but we’d met up there with the _Delphin._ Their staff lieutenant, Suriano, was about my age, a biotic, but had joined earlier.  She knew what she was about in combat and used her biotics better than I did.

  “We’d gotten to the final holdouts, bottom of the compound.  We were almost there.  Been beating back their reinforcements all day, exhausted, now with an end in sight.  We weren’t getting anywhere staying in the cover.  Suriano and I held a shield and the squad came out in the open.  We had a good angle on them, were finishing them off, bullets rippling in front of us on the shield, soldiers dipping their rifles through slots in it to return fire.  Then some batarians got up from behind us.  Still don’t know where they came from.  They crashed into us, Omni-blades swinging.  Shocked Suriano.  Shocked me too.  She dropped the shield, just an instance. 

“I felt the difference holding the gunfire immediately, but I held it. The marines scrambled, got the melee fighters put down.  Suriano recovered and rejoined my barrier.  But I knew, if I had faltered too, dropped the shield or let it waver under that heavy gunfire, all of us would have died.”  Kaidan unfolded and refolded his fingers.  “But because Vyrnus hit me with a chair, not once but many times in different ways, and even though I was exhausted starting to drop my guard with the win almost ours -- all of that, I didn’t drop the shield.  And Suriano?  This talented, trained marine, who was never tortured by a turien on Jump Zero, faltered when the batarians came up our back.  She dropped the shield, but I didn’t.”

A smile spread across Liara’s face.  “Not all for nothing then.”

“Not all for nothing,” he said.  “Who would have thought that stewing alone in my room here, angry and miserable, that years later I’d save a dozen lives in combat exactly because I _wasn’t_ at the ocean with my family.  What I learned here, even just one year, was earned through fire, but who knows the countless things I’ve recalled to save my life, other’s lives.  So, yeah, it wasn’t all for nothing.  And I try to think about that when things are miserable.”

Liara considered him for a moment.  “You’re miserable now?”

He gazed back at her then gave a slow nod.  Liara dropped to her hands folded in her lap.

“Shepard’s strong, but …” Liara just shook her head before taking a breath.  “I can’t imagine her truly being gone.  We hardly spent time together since returning.  I was busy, so was she, and I just thought …”

“Yeah …”

Liara searched his eyes.  “You think this isn’t all for nothing?”

Kaidan’s lips parted, and he hesitated.  He pulled his eyes away.  “I don’t know.”

A warm hand slid under his elbow and curled around his biceps.  She gave a forceful smile and leaned against his arm.  The air turned slowly in the auditorium in front of them.  He smiled too, but it felt just as forced.


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 23**

Kaidan scrolled to the next page on his datapad.  He re-read the garbled words, the ones to the Normandy from Earth, the ones back from the Normandy to Earth.  He could get as much out of them as he could Anchor’s bizarre emails.

Shepard breathed soft and faint under the beeping of monitors and hum of hospital machinery.  He lowered the datapad.  The crescent fringe of her eyelashes lay so still and fixed.  Blues tinted the thin skim rimming her eyes.  He put an elbow on the armrest and leaned the side of his head against his hand.  A chalky, dull color bleached her checks, lips, throat.  Faint purpling blotched her throat.  Kaidan dropped his datapad on the floor by his chair and stood.  He leaned over her and traced his fingertips over the splotches on her neck.  His fingers lingered on them.  His face hardened and he stood back, hands curling into fists at his side.

The door swished open behind him.  Miranda’s boots tapped though the doorway, and she made a clearing sound in her throat.  Kaidan looked back.  Taccus stood behind her in the hallway looking expectant.  Kaidan turned back to Shepard and touched the back of her hand, feeling the cool rough skin under his fingertips, then backed away. 

With a deep breath, he strode out into the hallway.  Taccus’s eyes met his with a calibrated blankness as Kaidan approached.  Miranda stepped aside as Kaidan passed, going into the hospital room.  The doors slide shut between them leaving Kaidan alone in the hall with Taccus.

“Spectre,” Kaidan said hollowly.

“Spectre.” Taccus nodded.

Taccus turned his head looking each direction as if assuring privacy.  This early, the hall was void of even the staff.  Taccus looked back to Kaidan as if satisfied.  Kaidan sighed and crossed his arms.  Whatever it was, Kaidan just wanted it done with.  Taccus opened his mouth, but Kaidan cut in first.

“May I talk to the crew soon?”

Taccus paused, then nodded.  “Soon.  For some.”

“Some?”

“For some,” Taccus repeated.

“When?”

“When we tell you.”

Kaidan walked around him and settled against the far wall.  An aura bleached the periphery of his vision.  Kaidan touched his forehead throbbing with sweat and heat.  If Taccus wasn’t releasing Kaidan to see anyone, then he must probably only have something to say that Kaidan wouldn’t want to hear.  Taccus watched him with thin slits as sensing Kaidan’s assessment.

“Are you here to tell me something?” Kaidan dropped the hand from his forehead and leaned his head back against the wall.

“Yes.” Taccus came in closer.  “I sent Ursul off.  I thought I’d better do it.”

“Hell,” Kaidan murmured and closed his eyes.  “What?”

Maybe they’d seen the surveillance footage of him talking to James.  Kaidan didn’t doubt they kept tabs on him.  Taccus let out a long breath of air.  Kaidan cracked his eyes open.  The turien tugged at his coat and straightened shooting Kaidan a dark frown, or as much of a frown as Kaidan could detect on a turien.  Whatever sympathy there might have been initially floating in Taccus’s face had melted.  Kaidan probably should have phrased his response differently.  It didn’t matter though.  Nothing he did was right.

“Spectre Alenko,” Taccus said to get his attention.  “I’m sorry to say, but Commander Shepard is part of the Normandy crew.  As part of your agreement—”

“You can’t be serious?” Kaidan snapped shoving away from the wall.

They were going to have this conversation then.  Taccus pulled his head high and narrowed his eyes.

“You’re going to tell me I can’t visit Shepard.  Are you serious?”

Taccus glanced back at the door to Shepard’s room and looked back to Kaidan mouth opening to speak.  Kaidan cut him off again.

“Have you seen her?  She’s comatose, Taccus!”

“If she woke up…”

“She’s not going to wake up.  Talk to Miranda.  Talk to her doctors.”

Taccus drew out a long sigh and pivoted to look down at some orderlies unloading a cart at the end of the hall. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Spectre, be reasonable,” Kaidan said.  “You know as well as I do, she’s not waking up.”

Taccus didn’t say anything.

“You have to know that.”  Kaidan stepped around into his line of sight.  “Please.  Don’t tell me I can’t see her.”

Taccus’s eyes moved to his.  They stared at each other for a moment.  Taccus’s eyes lost the tightness.

“Fine,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“It’s understood though.”  Taccus paused holding Kaidan’s eye.  “If she wakes up, you adhere to our agreement.”

“I won’t talk to her unsupervised.”

Taccus made his eyes into slivers.  Kaidan shifted.

“Supervised by you,” Kaidan added.

“Fine,” Taccus growled.

“Thank you.”

Taccus clasped his talons behind his back and sighed.

“Only because you’re another Spectre.  I trust you to keep your word on everything.  I’m not being foolish to trust you, am I?”

Kaidan’s eyes strayed down the hall, not to look anywhere, but just somewhere and to think.  He crossed his arms across his chest and looked back.

“Of course.”

“Good.  Then we understand each other.”  Viccus pointed at him.  “It’s in your best interest.  The interest of the case.  You obviously care about this investigation.  You must want an honest outcome.”

Kaidan nodded absently eyes dropping then looked up sharply.

“Have you investigated Anchor?”

“There’s nothing to find.”

“Nothing to find,” Kaidan echoed.  “How did he die?”

Taccus regarded Kaidan silently, then let out a long breath.  “Shot.”

“By whom?”

“Someone with a gun,” Taccus said sharply.  “There’s no reason to think it wasn’t one of the infiltrators that took him out.”

“You recovered the weapons.  Fingerprint or DNA can link who carried what.  Run ballistics.”

“We didn’t recover a bullet.”

“If you could recover it then—”

“Alenko!” Taccus cut the air with a flat palm.  “We’re not recovering any more physical evidence.  The scene is impossible!  Everything mixed up, moved, lost, shuffled before the Normandy even got here.  The fire, vacuuming the shuttle bay, the whole damn thing—” He stopped abruptly.  He gave a snorty breath and shook his head.  “I won’t be baited into this.”

“What about Anchor’s messages?”

Taccus’s eyes narrowed.  “How do you know about that?  That evidence was only just turned into us?”

“It wasn’t aboard the Normandy’s computer with everyone else’s?” Kaidan asked.

Taccus rolled his eyes and turned his head to look down the hall again.  Kaidan was surprised when he answered.

“We’ve reviewed everyone’s messages.”

“Anchor’s too?”

Taccus snapped his head back.

“What do you think I meant by _everyone_ , Alenko?”

“His messages weren’t backed up on the Alliance mainframe servers.”

“Nor the Normandy, yes, though something tells me knew that.  We’ve reviewed messages off his personal datapad though.  We’ll continue to review it.  This isn’t your investigation.

Kaidan held his gaze but took a step back.  Taccus’s mandibles twitched as his glare burrowed into Kaidan’s forehead.  Taccus could change his mind about Shepard, change any rules he wanted really. 

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan said.  “I’m prying.”

“You’re damn right,” Taccus growled.  “Stay out of this.”

“Understood.”

They stood silently.  Kaidan waited as Taccus eyed him.

“You know,” Taccus said, “this obsession with Anchor … There isn’t anything to him.  Your passion in pursing him baffles me.”

“He’s dirty.  I know he is.”

“How?  How do you know this?”  Taccus shifted on the balls of his feet.  “I’m leading the investigation, and I’ve seen no evidence of this.  It’s just the subjective suspicions of a handful of crew.  Anchor met them in the shuttle bay.  He didn’t open fire on them or threaten them, just treated them like he was one of them.  Even the witness that suspect him, tell us this.  If anything, it’s Shepard who looks bad -- holding him at gunpoint and demanding the shard.  The shard she then lost.  We still haven’t found it.”

Kaidan bit down on his first response.  Taccus seemed to wait for a response.  When he didn’t get one, he smiled approvingly.

“We don’t suspect Shepard,” Taccus said.  “If that’s a concern.  The crew and all the evidence supports her working against the perpetrators.  She killed several of them.  Was shot by them.”

“And if it turned out she killed Anchor.  Would you consider that in evidence against him?”

“Well, the way he was killed … definitely not friendly fire.  I think there’s enough reason to believe she wouldn’t have shot him unjustly, whether her view of the situation was skewed or not could be debated.  But, yes, I would say if Shepard recovers and tell us this, it would impact our view on the situation.  Until then, there’s nothing.”

“The Normandy?” Kaidan asked.  “You’re planning to bring it back to Earth?”

“The main repairs have been made.  We’ll be jettisoning the shuttle bay wreckage and returning to Earth for cleanup, full repairs, and refurbishing.”

“Jettison the shuttle bay?”

“The wreckage from the fire, the destruction from venting it … nothing to be done for it.  We’ll jet the waste into Gagarin’s waste area to be reprocessed and recycled.  It’s such a wreck right now.  The engineers can’t get to the panels to fix the thrusters.  We need to clear it.  I imagine you’re concerned about evidence.  Trust me, it has been thorough collected.”

“But cleanup?  Already?  What about—”

“Understand this, Spectre.  I appreciate that you are invested, but this is all taken care of.  I’m only having this dialogue with you now out of professional courtesy.  I was never behind fully cutting you out of the inquiry.  Regardless, that is what was decided, and I will uphold it.  If Shepard wakes, she can support this Anchor theory of yours.  As is, we have a few more questions for the crew, but all the physical evidence and ground work for the investigation is wrapping up. The Normandy has been processed for over a week now.”

Kaidan wanted to say more but could see it wouldn’t help.

“I appreciate that,” Kaidan said finally, and in part, he really meant it.

“I’m glad you understand then,” Taccus said.  “I’ll be leaving with the Normandy tomorrow night.  Ursul will remain here.  You can contact her for anything.”

Kaidan stared at Taccus.  “Leaving tomorrow?  Twenty-four hours from now?  Why?”

“We need the ship back.  It’s damaged, things are wrapped up.  It’s time.”

Kaidan licked his lips but didn’t respond.  If he pushed any further, he would exasperate Taccus, and so far, Taccus was the only reasonable part of the whole process.

“How are you crewing it?” Kaidan finally said instead.

“Minimal crew.  We’re sealing off the cargo bay after our engineers get in to make repairs post-evac.  We’ll seal off much of engineering, parts of the crew deck, places that aren’t essential and were involved in the attacked.  There are some minor processing steps left before full cleaning. We’ll supplement with crew from the vessel that brought us over.”

“Supplement?”  Kaidan asked.  “What are you supplementing?”

“I’ll be returning with the Normandy’s uninjured crew.  They need to return to Earth, and we can more thoroughly investigate there.”

Kaidan’s lips parted as his mind raced. 

“The whole crew?” he said finally.

“Not the seriously injured, no.  I think we can probably let you see the injured crew members in the next day or so.  We’ve talked to them.  Ursul can supervise if you would like to see them.”

“So, I won’t be speaking to any of the crew members not in the hospital?  They’re leaving with you?”

“Speak with them on Earth.  I suppose …” Taccus paused as if considering something then nodded to himself.  “Yes, I can give you permission to message them.  Monitored as you’re aware.”

Kaidan’s mouth twisted, and he looked away.

“Not to your liking?” Taccus said darkly.

Kaidan eyed him sideways. “Not really.”

“I’ve been more than fair with you.”

Kaidan could see himself in Taccus’s place.  Perhaps he’d make the same arguments, make the same decisions.  Kaidan slowed his breathing and swallowed.

“You’ve been fair,” he agreed.  “I wanted to see them.  I’m disappointed.”

“They’re all fine.  You can check in on them on Earth.  A few more days, you’ll be headed back yourself.  The Summit -- I heard you’re integral.”

Kaidan smiled weakly and nodded.  Taccus was trying to acknowledge him on some level, give him a bone in a way.

“You’ll be coming back on the same Alliance ship we came out on, I assume?” Taccus asked conversationally.

Kaidan nodded again.  “Yes.”

A few days, it was too soon.  Shepard lay crumpled and lifeless on the other side of the door.  A few days wasn’t enough to remedy that.  Kaidan studied his hands.  He saw the mottled blue on her throat under his fingertips.  Kaidan curled his fingers into his palm.  He made a point to slow his breath and unclench his jaw.

“Well,” Taccus shifted and glanced around.  “I’m glad we got this all squared away.  I think we’re on the same page now.”

Kaidan whipped his head up.  “What about the bodies?”

“We’ll move them back to the Normandy.  Transport them back for the families.  Some humans find that thing culturally important.”

Kaidan gave a grim smile.  Taccus chuckled softly.

“I suppose there’s no reason to be explaining human culture to you.”

“I have some background in it.”

Taccus took a step back to start down the hall. “Then, we have an accord.  I’m likely to see you prior to my departure, but if not, well … the Summit then.”

Kaidan watched him disappear down the hall and around a corner.  His breathing strained, and he paced dropping his face into his hands.  He’d promised, given his word.  Despite what Councilor Mason wanted, Kaidan had given his word not just to Taccus but to the Alliance and the rest of the Council.  But Anchor going down in history as a victim?  The livid splotches across Shepard’s throat made his chest ache with the force of each breath he drew in.  He stopped in his tracks.  He’d promised to not see the crew, and he could decide on that later, but that was the living crew members.  No promises on the other.  He wasn’t going to influence their testimony.

Kaidan whipped back to Shepard’s door and smashed a fist on the open button.  Mirands’s head snapped up from the monitor next to Shepard’s bed.  Her hands paused on the keyboard.  Kaidan waited for the door to shut behind him.

“Where’s the morgue?”


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 24**

Miranda waved Kaidan through the door then slapped the button to close it.

“Now hurry up, Kaidan.”

Rows of square metal doors lined the far wall.  Kaidan rushed over to the cryostatis pods.  The doors weren’t labeled with names, just numbers along the top.  He hadn’t expected them to be labeled, but there were so many.  Trial and error wouldn’t be efficient.

“Kaidan,” Miranda hissed.

He frowned over his shoulder at her.  She put her hands on her hips.

“How do I …”

His eyes fell on a desk in the corner glowing from the face of a computer terminal.  Kaidan darted over to it.  He turned on his Omni-Tool as he rounded the desk’s corner to face the screen.  Miranda’s footsteps came up behind him.

“You’re hacking in?”

“Yeah.” Kaidan glanced back at her.

“I could log you in.”

Kaidan’s Omni-Tool arm dropped.  “Why didn’t you—nevermind.  Yes.  Log me in.  Please.”

She raised an eyebrow grinning and brushed him aside.  She typed into the terminal and it lit up a search field.  Kaidan leaned in beside her.

“What’s your guy’s name?” Miranda asked.

Something clattered outside the door.  Kaidan’s spine shot straight, and he looked over Miranda’s head at the morgue’s entrance.  Voices swelled. Footsteps clapped on the linoleum rising with the level of conversation.  Someone laughed loudly.  Miranda stood up from the desk next to him and looked over at the door with a frown.  It was nearing morning, the morgue staff could be coming in for the day.  Miranda had warned him.  An image flashed in his mind of he and Miranda huddled together under the desk, too tight to move, and praying the staff all took the same lunch.  The footsteps receded past the door.  Miranda sank back down to the keyboard.

“Name?” she whispered.

“Anchor, Bram.”

Kaidan moved to the cryostasis drawers.  Miranda stood up from the screen and pointed to a door at the far side of the room.  It came waist high.  Kaidan touched the screen beside the drawer.  It flashed.  He hadn’t expected it to be locked.

“5729,” Miranda read.

Kaidan punched it in and stood back.  The drawer hissed and air churned inside.  The door exhausting a frosty plume of air as the drawer squealed open.  Miranda waved the vapors away as she came up beside him.  Kaidan moved to the head of the drawer and pulled the tray out further.  Kaidan’s fingers stuck to the ice shards filming the metal surface.  His skin sealed to the metal and ripped way with a sharp pain as he drew back.

“You’re not supposed to touch that with your bare hands,” Miranda said.

She leaned over the body.  Kaidan flicking his fingers with a hissing grimace and came around the other side of the drawer.  Miranda’s eyes flickered up to Kaidan’s.

“No ‘You could have told me’?” she asked.

“You could have told me.”

“It was common sense.”

“Happy now? You got your retort in.”

“Better if it hadn’t been prompted.”

There really wasn’t a way to recognize the corpse.  Kaidan had seen an Alliance profile picture, but this man didn’t have face, or at least enough of it.  He had two eyes, most of the nose, but the rest was broken skull and pulpy tissue.  Small cryo shards gleamed across his waxy skin.  They caught the Omni-Tool light as Kaidan held it overhead.  There weren’t bruises or cuts, or any other marks aside from the facial wound.

“Looks like a quick death,” Kaidan said.  “Shame.”

Miranda pointed at where the jaw should have been.

“One bullet.  It entered up through the jaw and out the back of the head at the crown.”

“Not wearing his helmet then.”

“Maybe not wearing armor.”

Kaidan glanced over at the terminal.

“Is there a report?”

Miranda trotted to the desk.  Her fingers clicked across the keyboard.  Kaidan leaned over the body with his Omni-Tool.

“Yes, armor,” Miranda said.  “No helmet.”

“Where was he found?”

“Cargo bay.”

“Yeah, but where?”

“That’s all it says.”

Kaidan stood away from the body and turned to her.

“The bullet isn’t still lodged in the skull?”

“I told you.  It exited the top of the skull.”

Miranda clicked off the terminal.  Her footsteps hurried up beside him.

“We need to go.” 

“If we—”

A metal whine beyond the door made their eyes snap to the morgue entrance. 

“That’s the doors to the stairway,” Miranda hissed and smacked the close button on the cryostasis pod.

The pod retracted in rushing hiss of vapors.  Kaidan reeled back then dashed after Miranda.  They bumped up against the doorway.   Miranda’s punched the green button.  Faint voices rose on the other side.  The door started to slid open.  Miranda moved back and forth on her feet until it was wide enough to pop her head through.  The voices were getting louder with footsteps approaching.  She pulled her head back and turned sideways

“Come one,” she whispered.

She slipped sideways through the opening doors.  Kaidan waited a beat for it to widen and came out sideways too.  Miranda was already halfway down the hall and already looking up the stairway.  Kaidan picked up his pace short of running. A foursome of white coats appeared walking down the stairs. One of the men craned his neck watching Miranda pass by up the stairs.  The others seemed engrossed in discussing hybrid tissue preservation.  The man turned back motioning at to one of the speakers rejoining the debate.  He waved his steaming mug giving Kaidan a blast of coffee aroma as he edged past at the bottom of the stairs.

 

Kaidan caught up with Miranda in the hallway.  She didn’t say anything as she led back to Shepard’s room.  They neared the door, and she came to an abrupt stop turning to face him.

“Got what you needed?” she asked.

“It will help.”

“That’s … good.” 

Her eyes moved to Shepard’s door, lips rolling back and forth as if in thought.  Kaidan tapped on his Omni-Tool. 

He backed up. “I’m going to—”

“Kaidan,” Miranda said. 

Kaidan stopped in his tracks.  His Omni-Tool turning off as his arm dropped.  She glanced sideways at him with a hard look.

“I’ve tried everything.”

His chest tightened.  He’d known the conversation was coming, but it still felt like realizing you’d been shot.

“So … tomorrow?” Kaidan said finally.

“Today.”

“Today?” Kaidan stared.  “Miranda.”

“It needs to happen now.”  Miranda didn’t raise her voice.  “It should have happened days ago if I’d been rational.  But I’m out of ideas now and the activity is overwhelming.  If I don’t do it now, there’s no use in doing it at all.”

Kaidan didn’t say anything.  Miranda put her hands in her coat pockets and pivoted on her feet before facing him.

“I’m going to sleep.  I need to be fresh, but then it will need to happen.”

Kaidan swallowed rubbing a callused spot on one palm. 

“What are the chances?”

 “I can’t give you statistics,” Miranda said.  “But … I think you already know the chances.”

“Right …”

“Listen.  I’m going to do all I can.”

“I know.”  He looked up with a snap.  “I know you will.”

Miranda pressed her lips tight, gave him a sharp nod, and brushed around him down the hall.  Kaidan turned to the wall and leaned his forehead against it listening to the brisk snap of heels fading down the hall.  He should be with Shepard then, but he felt exhausted with the migraine. 

The Normandy was leaving tonight too.  His mind mulled over it again and again before he finally rolled over and leaned his back against the wall.  He turned on his Omni-Tool.  He sent the message.  Breaking his word, a low point.  Shepard’s door stood across from him.  He’d sit with her a while at least and wait for the reply.


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 25**

Kaidan took another left down the dim corridor.  The decommissioned section of the station filled each breath with dust and stale air.  He’d had friends that lived down this hall once when it was bright and crowded.  A thin light illuminated the end of the hall.  Kaidan brushed his fingers along the wall skimming over the dirty patina.  A sldner silhouette moved across the light ahead and stopped.

“Kaidan?”  Liara’s voice.

Kaidan picked up his pace.  A lantern in the center of a circular room illuminated stacked crates crowded along the walls.  James stood up from a small shipping box as Kaidan entered.

“L2,” he greeted.

Liara stepped up to Kaidan.  “Should I watch the halls?”

Kaidan nodded.  She moved down the hall as Kaidan came over to James.

“Pretty covert,” James said.

“Close enough to a back alley,” Kaidan said.

Kaidan angled himself to keep the hallway in view behind James.

“What would it take to get me aboard the Normandy?” Kaidan asked.

“Get you aboard the Normandy?” James asked.  “Why, uh … Okay.  I’m confused.”

Kaidan folded his arms and looked James in the eye.  “You know I haven’t been cleared to talk to you, right?  By being here, it should come down on me, but you could be disciplined too.”

James shrugged.  “Aren’t you a Spectre?  Shouldn’t you, like, I dunno, be able to do whatever the hell you want?”

Kaidan grinned weakly.  “Yeah.  I like that philosophy, James, I do.  But, uh … no.”

James’s eyebrows raised.  He sat down back down on the shipping box.

“Damn.  That sucks.  Got your wings clipped, huh?”

Kaidan shrugged.  “Plucked.”

“Musta hurt, hombre.”  James made a whistling sound.  “Who plucked you?  Alliance?  Council?”

“If I continue this analogy, it’s going to get weird.” Kaidan’s smile spread.  “So … uh, the Alliance suspended me, and the Council forbade me being involved.”

James pursed his lips and shrugged.  “Comprende then.  I’ll sign your liability waiver.”

“Not going to pass it by your lawyer first?”

“Nah, I live on the edge.”

Kaidan strolled over to the mouth of the hallway.  At the end of the hall, Liara stood partially shadowed by a forgotten stack of sheet metal and construction storage bins.  She smiled back at him.  Kaidan turned around to James.

“The Normandy leaves tonight,” Kaidan said.

“Yeah,” James muttered.  “I got my ticket.  You trying to stow away?”

“Hell, no.” Kaidan cut the air with his palm.  “I have to be out long before that.”

“Then … you just want to poke around?”

Kaidan pointed at him.  “Exactly.  How can I make it happen?”

“You want carried in rolled up in a carpet or something?”

“How about …” Kaidan pushed a crate to the lantern beside James and sat.  “How about just clearing the way for me?  Are there a lot of people aboard?”

“It’s been sealed like a tomb.  Only those turien Spectres and some engineers on board.  Might be more now since we’re set to leave.”

“I only need to get to the cargo bay.”

James sat forward putting his hands on his knees. 

“What’s this all about?” he asked.

“I need to check out my own leads.  I think the other Spectres might be overlooking some things.”

 “So, uh … you can’t tell me then?” James frowned.  “Cause that’s a politician’s answer, L2.”

Kaidan rubbed the stubble along his jaw.  He dropped his hand.

“Fine.  It’s probably better the less you know.  If you got caught …”

“Hey.  If I’m in trouble, I’m in trouble.  I’d still rather know.  This have to do with that stuff I brought you?”

“In a way.  It’s about Anchor.”

“That asshole?”  James shifted on the crate.  “I’m in.”

“You think he was connected to the guys on Langley?”

“Hell yeah.  No doubt in my mind.”

“You tell the Spectres that?”

“Didn’t ask my opinion.  Just facts.”

Kaidan hunched forward.  “What are the facts on Anchor?”

“He acted like he was on our side, kinda.  Gave over the shard.  Disappeared in the chaos.  Body got pulled out in the cargo bay.”

“He had armor.  The rest of you didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, our guys in the cargo bay got to the armory.  Rest of us on the other decks weren’t armed, but some of them got suited.  For the good it did them.”

“He was alone in the bay?”

“Guarding the armory, working at breaking into the safe for the shard.  Maybe they were worried one of us would get to it and do something if one of them didn’t break it out first.  I dunno.  He probably didn’t know what to do when so many of us showed up armed, and it was dark.  Probably figured he better act like a friendly and wait for backup or … yeah, we woulda blasted him into the next world before he got his second shot off. Termindo.”

Kaidan stood up.  “So, how about it?  Think you can get me on board?  You have access?”

“Yeah …”  James thought for a moment.  “I’m the boss, well, Alliance boss for the cruise home.  I think it’s close enough to departure, I can throw down a diva tantrum and get access.  Joker’s already been on board fixing stuff.”  He grinned.  “Yeah, I’ll get us an invitation to the dance.”

“You just clear me a path to the cargo bay.”

“I’m coming along.”

“You don’t—”

“I’m coming, sir.”  James stood.  “I got all the bargaining chips since, ya know, apparently Spectres aren’t all powerful.”

“Only some of them aren’t.”

“The human ones?” James raised his eyebrows and picked up the lantern.

“I would say the Alliance ones, but same thing as this point.”

James shook his head.  “Alliance leadership right now … kinda loco.  But eventually …”

“Eventually …”

James swung the lantern.  “You, uh … How’s Shepard?”

Kaidan moved past James and motioned Liara back. 

“Miranda’s doing surgery.  It will be a few hours from now.”  Kaidan kept his eyes fixed down the hall not looking back at James.  “If anyone wants to see her, I would go now.”

The metal floor creaked as James adjusted the weight on his feet, but he didn’t say anything.  Liara frowned as she neared.

“Is something wrong?”

“Naw, Doc.”  James came up beside Kaidan.  “Let’s go, Doc.  Hasta luego, L2.  I’ll let you know.”

“Better relay it through me,” Liara said.

Kaidan watched their shadows fade down the hall.  The lantern light shaded away.  After he couldn’t see any sign of them, Kaidan counted a few beats before pushing down the hall himself.

 

* * *

 

Shepard’s hospital door slid open.  James wandered through the door, eyes dropped, his shoulders hunched over tightly crossed arms.  His steps slowed, and he shot a look sideways at Kaidan and Liara standing at the end of the hall.  He gave a sharp nod before and passed Ursul as he head the other direction with fast, solid footsteps.  Ursul’s eyes narrowed following the nod’s direction to Kaidan.  It seemed so juvenile hanging back as the crew filed through Shepard’s room.  Ursul still hadn’t warmed up to Taccus allowing Kaidan access to Shepard, but that was something they’d have to work out.

Liara twisted her fingers in her hand eyes focused on the tiles at her feet.  Kaidan put a hand on her back.  Her eyes gleamed as they rose to meet his.

“It will be all right,” he said.

“Platitudes,” she whispered.

Kaidan sighed.  “Yeah.  I guess.”

“Still,” she said, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Despite my platitudes?”

“Maybe,” she said softly, “because of them.”

Joker eased through Shepard’s doorway on crutches.  He gazed down at them.  Ursul uncrossed her arms and took a step toward him.  It drew Joker’s attention.  He lifted the scrunched baseball cap in his hand and put it on before hobbling after James.

“Joker was last?” Liara asked.  “We can go in now?”

“You could have always gone, Liara.”

“We’ve come this far together.”

Kaidan smiled wanly at her.  “Don’t let me hold you back though.”

Ursul checked in Shepard’s room then motioned them forward.

“A Spectre directing hospital visitation traffic,” Kaidan murmured.  “Should have read the fine print on the job description.”

“Always read the fine print,” Liara said.

“That could be why your assistant’s getting complaints.  No one reads the fine print.”

“And, that’s exactly why you have it.”

Kaidan looked at her out of the corner of his eye.  “You were a lot more innocent when we met.”

“You too.”

Kaidan’s mouth tightened.  “Giving my word and, in the space of hours, breaking it?  You’re probably right.”

“You’re doing what you have to do.”

“That’s what every guilty person probably says to himself.”

They still hadn’t moved, and Ursul put her hands on her hips staring at them.

“We’ve been given our summons.”  Kaidan started forward.

Shepard’s room stood empty.  Liara walked to Shepard’s bed and stood over her with drooped shoulders.  Kaidan hung back a step eyes fixed on Shepard’s expressionless face.  Her chapped lips hung open slightly, enough that a Vaseline-trapped hair blew with each rise and fall of her chest. 

Shepard was here with him maybe for the last time, but it didn’t feel like she was here.  A bluish hue embalmed the skin around her eyes, like the inside of an oyster shell.  Her eyelids sealed away all the color in the room.  There was only emptiness here.  The light that made her _her_ was buried, cemented away in the darkness.  It chilled him. 

He’d think back to the time in her apartment then, on Earth, so many months ago.  It was the last time he’d been with her.  The last time he’d looked in her eyes, felt the life and energy of her, his heartbeat rising as her eyes looked back into his.  It was a good memory – gazing out the window side-by-side at the night sky, the sound of her voice, taste of beer, the clean vanilla linen smell of her apartment, of her. He could live with that memory as their last. 

Liara’s turned her profile to him clinging to Shepard’s forearm.  Her face scrunched as he stepped up beside her and touched Shepard’s hand.  Whether Shepard could sense anything was beyond knowing.  Probably not, if like Miranda said, her brain was seized in a disorganized activity of nothingness.  It probably made people feel better to think their presence meant anything more than what it meant for themselves, the platitudes someone gave to himself.  He was here for himself then, and that was all right.  It didn’t need to be anything more than that.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 26**

“Hey, L2.  You ready?”

Kaidan trotted across the docking terminal to James. 

“Got the cameras.  Let’s go,” Kaidan said.

James inclined his head to the loading ramp.  The Normandy -- it segmented in the passing windows as they marched down the tunneled rampway to the airlock loading door.  Kaidan had spent so much time looking out the Normandy, looking in on it felt novel.  James halted on the loading platform outside the airlock.  His eyes darted to the camera overhead.

“They’re looped,” Kaidan said.

“Hope you know your stuff there, L2.”

“I do.”

They stepped out of the airlock into the ship with a burst of filtered air.  Kaidan’s boots echoed on the gridded panels of the gangway.  The CIC glowed at the far end.  Something moved beside him, and Kaidan spun to face the cockpit.

“Joker?”

Jocker lounged in the cockpit chair facing them.  A bag of chips crinkled on his lap as he popped one in his mouth with a crunch.

“Major.”

James stood away from the closing airlock with a grin.

“Boom: our lookout,” James lifted both hands to Joker.  “Right, Joker?”

Joker shrugged.  “I’m not tackling anyone, but yeah, I’ll give you fair warning before they tackle _you_.”

Kaidan smiled wanly despite their conversation in the hospital.  Even with that and all the painful months standing almost in these exact spots even, it would always still be good to see him.

“Good to see you, Joker.”

“Whoa, Kaidan.  Almost believe you.  You’re getting good.”

The corner of Kaidan’s mouth curled crookedly, and he shook his head with an eyeroll.  He turned and followed James down the gangway, boots heavy on the metal grates.  The ceiling vents were torn apart in the CIC, still semi-fixed.  A ladder stood near the entrance to the war room.  Bullet holes pepper the walls.  The galaxy map’s bank of console shined through cracked glass.

“I’m not sure how long we’ve got,” James said over his shoulder.  “Next batch of engineers could be anytime.  Just hoping they stick to the engine room.  We slip in and out.  Hola y adios.  I’ll find them a distraction if they’re still working with the vent work up here.”

They stepped up to the elevator.  James pushed the down and up buttons for the elevator.

“Circuits all screwed up,” James said.  “It’ll figure it out when we punch the right button inside though.”

“No one will be going down to the cargo bay?” Kaidan asked.

“Don’t think so.  Pretty well restricted.”  He grinned.  “Well, supposed to be.”

The elevator doors churned open.  Metal walls warped with burn marks and crumbling metal plating.

“Elevator looks damaged,” Kaidan said stepping on.

“What?  Oh.”  James nodded absently.  “Yeah, grenades do that.  If you ever wondered.”

Kaidan touched pieces of shrapnel sticking out of elevator’s wall.  “Bet it damaged more than just the elevator.”

“Yup.  Got some damn good grenade-blasted bandito pulp in here.  Be glad you missed that clean up.”

“Needed more than a mop?”

The elevator came to a stop.  The doors screeched opened, and it took Kaidan’s breath away.  What he’d expected after a blown apart elevator, he wasn’t sure.  White tape crisscrossed the elevator doorway.  James pulled up the bottom piece and ducked under it.  The bay gaped in front of them jumbled with charred pieces of crates, crumbling bulkhead, ceiling beams, metal, glass, bit of equipment and who-knew-what.  Lights flickered overhead, many of them burst and some simply dark shells of jagged glass.  It was enough light to see but dim.  Kaidan stumbled out of the elevator craning his neck in all directions.  So much of the ceiling had crumbled in, it looked skeletal.  The warped bulkheads had sloughed away almost to the hull.  It had been thinned down the middle of the bay and towered against the walls to either side of them like ambitiously stacked bonfire fodder.

“I didn’t realize …”

              “It was this bad?” James asked.  “Yeah …”

              Kaidan’s eyes moved over the charred wreckage before falling on twisted mound of metal in the center of the bay.

              “Here it is,” Kaidan said.

              Kaidan stepped over the burned remains of the terminals that horseshoed the elevator.  He walked up to the wreckage, bent down, and rubbed a sooty plate of metal.  Blue paint abraded and faint showed threw as Kaidan drew away his blackened fingers.  Glass crunched under James’s boots as he came up behind him.

              “One flying boulder of caliente shuttle.  Probably still got our names stamped on its burned-up ass.”

              Kaidan rose and strolled around it.  Metal sheets twisted into each other, glass and scrap pieces scattered over it. 

              “Stuck together pretty well even with venting the bay,” James said.

              If it had exploded, all these interlocking pieces melded together from the heat, they would be sticking out of the cargo bay walls and floor, everything blown wide away.  But it was here, almost compacted and melded into a solid mass.  Kaidan touched the alligator-skinned edge of the warped metal plating.  It crumbled in his hand.

              “Shepard really covered it in a barrier?” Kaidan said.

              James gave a shrug.  “I’m no biotic, but yeah, that’s what it reminded me of.  If it’s possible and all.”

              Kaidan took a step back.  “Maybe it is.”

              Kaidan turned in a circle.  The ceiling stories above had missing panels with partially collapsing exposing ductwork.  The windows facing out from engineering had blown out and were sealed off with a temporary partition of scrap metal plating.  The whole bay was a mess, chaotic and burned wreckage.  Shifting debris from the explosions and fire, the space venting.  He wasn’t sure what he had hoped to find here anyway.

              James poked at some of the warped debris with the toe of his boot.  “Don’t even know which smoked-up piece of crap was my workbench.”

              “It’s hard when they never recover the remains.”

              James chuckled.  “Yeah.  I guess.”

              From what Kaidan could see through the towering pile of metal debris, the armory looked empty, at least from this squinting angle.  It was probably unloaded and processed before scraping all the wreckage to the side.  No wonder Taccus wanted the bay purged soon.  Hard to move around, let alone get to anything for repairs.

              Kaidan turned back to James.  “Where was Anchor when you saw him last?”

              James scratched his neck. “Damn.  I don’t know.  It was dark.  He was by the armory then he wasn’t.  This group came out the elevator.  We were too busy busting our butts for cover.”

              Kaidan moved around the burned bank of terminals and bent to rifle through the singed piles.

              “Where did Shepard go?  She was with you?”

              “Not the whole time.”

              Kaidan’s head snapped up.  “No?  Where was she?”

              James pointed to the corner with his chin.  “The beacon.”

              Kaidan turned on his haunches to stare up the bristling matrix of fallen-in beams, collapsed crates, and metal siding.  The worst of the fire appeared to have come from there.  Kaidan ducked his head looking through the lattice of beams and turned on his Omni-Tool light.  A dark opening deep in the layer of twisted metal had to be the doorway to the escape pods and distress beacon.  James hunched down next to him and stared in.

              “That’s going to be a tight fit, if that’s what you’re thinking,” James said.

              Kaidan stood back from the tower of stacked metal.  There were definitely some key piece collapsing the whole pile in.  Blue energy rippled over Kaidan’s skin.  James’s eyebrows rose, and he stepped back.

              “This could be a while, huh?” James mumbled.

              “We’ll see.”

              The top beams slid against each other falling to the sides as Kaidan moved them.  Chunks of metal slid together bending and creaking beneath.  Kaidan shifted a piece of bulkhead.  It tore twisting and shuttering from where it had melded with a beam in the wall.  The shutter sent a groaning shriek up a charred beam running up the wall.  Glass shattered down on them, and a broad slat of charred siding swung loose from high above.  Kaidan put out a hand pushing James back as the siding broke loose and crashed down.  A blue shield scattered the spray of glass and metal.  The whole bay seemed to settle and moan.  Kaidan put his hand down and dropped the shield.

              “Uh … hmm.”  Kaidan glanced over at James.  “How much time do we have?”

              James laughed.  “Damn.”

 

* * *

 

              It took time and a lot more patience than Kaidan wanted to use.  Every move had to be slow and calculating.  There were a few setbacks as he shifted through the pile of metal.  Sweat dripped down Kaidan’s neck, his bone starting to feel jittery.  He should have eaten or slept more, and the background migraine wasn’t helping.  James checked the time on his Omni-Tool.

              “You know, waiting to get collared, drop kicked into the brig, it sure makes times crawl,” James said.  “But then, an Asari dancer takes you home, and time’s all gone.  Wake up the next morning wondering what even happened.”

              “Sounds like a good way to get robbed,” Kaidan said.

              He grimaced carefully rattling loose a wedged chuck of siding.

              “Uh, worth it, L2.  Trust me.”

              “I’ll take your word for it.”

              The slat of siding broke apart with a pop.  The metal above groaned.  Kaidan hesitated then gingerly pulled it forward again.

              “So … you and Shepard.  You guys, uh, still … you know?”

              Kaidan eyed him sideways.  A warped beam shifted against the wall.  Kaidan snapped his attention back.

              “Uh, yeah.  No.”

              James shrugged.  “Too bad.  Thought you two were good together.”

              “Regs.”

              “Didn’t matter before.”

              “Nothing mattered before.”

              James grinned toothily.  “Got me there.”

              The path was getting clearer.  Just a few more pieces leaning against the wall.  Kaidan only needed to clear a path to the doorway.

              “Still,” James said.  “You could, uh, keep it on the DL, ya know?”

              “Yeah?  To what end?”

              “Does it matter?”

              “To me it does.”

              James barked a laugh and shook his head.  “L2, L2, hombre, listen to me.  Live in the moment.  Didn’t us almost being Reaper-fodder teach ya anything?”

              “I already lived in the moment.  Beating the Reapers just means there should be something more.”

              Kaidan flicked a slab of metal aside.  His pile of metal sheeting crumpled, sliding, and clattering across the floor.  Kaidan frowned.  He was becoming too impatient.

              “Uh, okay,” James said watching the shifting metal.  “Let’s talk about the last biotic ball championship or something.”

              “Good idea.”

              “Who’d you root for?”

              Kaidan tugged the jagged ribcage of a crate to the side and exposed the door.  The blue evaporated off his skin.  He took a long breath and dragged the back of his hand across a sweaty forehead.

              “Let’s go,” Kaidan said.

              James eyed the stacked piles lining the jumbled pathway.

              “If I get flattened by some of this, I’m gonna be pissed.”

              “Eh.”  Kaidan started forward.  “I’ll dust you off.”

              James took a tentative step.  “Just don’t want to come-to with you resuscitating me or nothing.”

              “That makes two of us.  Come on.”

              They stepped over the remaining debris scattered at their feet and navigated around the bulging scrap piles.  Kaidan turned on his Omni-Tool light as he reached the doorway and stepped into the narrow corridor that housed the distress beacon.  The beacon’s terminal stood in the shadows ahead of him.  Kaidan moved forward, the closed escape pods to his right.  A shiver ran down his back.  For a moment he saw flames bursting around him, and Shepard standing at a different distress beacon terminal, whipping around in her armor to face him.  He blinked and the image was gone.

              James turned his Omni-Tool light on as he stepped in.  “Hope this was worth it, L2.”

              “Me too.”

              Kaidan’s fingers slipped over the terminal keys, and he gazed around the room with his light.

              “Look here.”  James picked a helmet off the floor.  “Anchor’s.  I recognize it.”

              Kaidan stood against the wall opposite the terminal and stared up at the ceiling.  He took a step back staring up the beam of light.

              “Whatcha got?” James’s light bounced across the ceiling.  “Damn. That what I think it is?”

              Kaidan looked over at him.  “What do you think it is?”

              James shrugged.  “Same as you, right?  Anchor’s head.”

              Brown blood stained the ceiling, walls, floor.  Bits of cauliflower-like material and bit of bone dried across the ceiling and upper part of the wall.  Kaidan’s light shifted down to where he stood, and he backed up again.

              “Shepard stood here and shot him,” Kaidan said.

              Kaidan’s jaw clenched imaging Anchor there.  He would have attacked her.

              “Can we prove it was Shepard?” James asked.

              Kaidan blinked the image away.  He needed to stay focused on why he was here.  He looked over at James.

              “Anchor was shot through the head.  Upwards, through the jaw, out the top of the skull,” Kaidan said. 

              Kaidan imagined the pistol in his hand.  Anchor would have been standing close judging by the blood across the floor.  It seemed awkward to shoot at such a steep angle though.  Maybe Anchor had been further away.  If he had stood here though …  Kaidan followed the angle up with his light into the low corner of the ceiling.  Kaidan smiled and walked below the fingertip sized hole above.

              “How you gonna get that?” James asked.

              Blue glowed across Kaidan’s skin, and he reached upward toward the hole in the ceiling.  He pulled down with a fist and a glowing piece of metal dropped into this other palm.  He looked at it in his palm then held it out to James.

              “Look what you found.” 

              James put out his hand.  Kaidan upended his palm letting the bullet roll off.

              “I think Joker may have seen you find it,” Kaidan said.

              James held the bullet up with a grin then slipped it into his pocket.

              “Sure did.  Right after I biotically stacked myself a pathway and pulled it from the ceiling.”

              Kaidan gave a shrug.  “You’re pretty brawny.  But, let’s mess up our trail bit for good measure, huh?  On the way out.”

              “Sure … uh, Joker.”

              “Exactly.”

              Kaidan glanced over at the terminal and around the room again.  He imagined Shepard standing there, Anchor reaching for her.

              “Autopsy must have been a good read, huh?” James said breaking Kaidan’s attention.

James wandered over to the doorway and peeked out into the cargo bay.

              “I didn’t get that info from a book,” Kaidan said. “More hands-on in lab.”

              James scrunched his face.  “Kind of gruesome, right?  Don’t know if I want to see more of that crap than I have to.”

              “I don’t know.”  Kaidan frowned darkly at the wall.  “No regrets on seeing this one.”

              “I regret every one that I’ve seen.  I don’t care who.  Ain’t pretty to see, and I don’t like remembering it.”

              “My only regret,” Kaidan muttered, “is that Cerberus isn’t still around to bring him back.  Then, I could shoot him dead all over again.”

              James stared at Kaidan.  “Sure.  Seems like a questionable use of resources, but you know.”

              “I don’t think so.”

              James gave a tooth grimace.  “Don’t let me get on your bad side, Major.”

              “Scared you into the title, James?”

              “Yes, sir.” James grinned.  He eyed Kaidan for a moment and then leaned a hand on the wall.  “Why you hate him so much?”

              Kaidan crossed his arms and studied his boots.  “He strangled her.”

              “What?  Who?”

              “Anchor strangled Shepard.  It had to be him.”

              James shifted.  “How do you know she was strangled?”

              “What soldier even does that?” Kaidan snapped.  “You go to war.  You kill people, sure.  You don’t strangle another soldier around the throat.”

              James rubbed the side of his face.  “Why would he do that?”

              “Exactly,” Kaidan said.  “Why would you ever do that?  That sort of thing, it’s personal, sadistic.  That’s why it was him.  Those other soldiers didn’t know her, why would they do that?”

              James glanced out the doorway again.  “You know, even so.  It’s not what took her down.”

              “I know.  But the idea of someone strangling her, soldier to soldier and in combat.  It … it makes me sick.”  Kaidan set his jaw and turned to the door.  “But let’s go.”

              “Hey, guys.” Joker’s voice came over James’s Omni-Tool.

              James slapped the comm on his wrist.  “Joker, tell me this ain’t more than a service check.”

              Joker’s voice went low.  “Company.”

              “Let’s move.” Kaidan dove through the door.

              “You know, I didn’t really think this through.” James came out on his heels.

              “Too much living in the moment.”

              They plunged down the pathway between towering stacks of debris.

              “Watch that!” Kaidan pointed at a shifty corner of siding.

              Kaidan’s boots crackled across the glass.  His nerves tingled, felt something pulling him inside.  He stopped.  James stumbled up against him.

              “Kaidan, the hell?  Let’s go!”

              Joker’s voice whispered through the comm.  “Uh, guy.  Those Spectres are here.”

              “Damnit,” James growled.  “L2!”

              Kaidan bent down, glowing blue, and tore at a stack of metal sheets.  James’s breath panted above as Kaidan stretched an arm through a lattice of beams, going all the way to his shoulder, and straining with gritted teeth.  That tingling, buzzing feeling brushed his fingertips.  Kaidan’s fingertips rocked it closer.  He got it.  He clamored to his feet holding a black, palm-sized stone of some sort.  James’s eyes widened.

              “That’s – we really need to go!” James pushed him forward.

              Kaidan sprang forward curling his tingling fingers around the stone.  They scrambled to the elevator and mashed the button.

              “Hey, Joker. Any of ‘um on the elevator?” James whispered into the comm on his Omni-Tool.

              They strained to hear Joker.  Muffled voices filled the background.  Joker’s voice talked louder, but they could only catch a word here or there.  He wasn’t speaking to them.

              The elevator beeped, and the doors starting to open.  James and Kaidan slipped to the side and pressed against the wall but no one came out.  James peeked around the corner and slid away from the wall.  They tumbled into the elevator.  Kaidan’s hand hovered over the floor buttons.

              “Where?”

              James darted forward and jammed one.

              “Hoping we don’t pick up ridders,” James said.

              Kaidan’s shoulder muscle tightened.  The smooth stone buzzed and tingled in his fist.  Kaidan opened his palm and stared at it.

              “Joker, hey,” James whispered.  “You able to distract them?”

              An alarm screamed overhead with flashing sirens.  Kaidan flinched.  James pressed a hand to his chest and cursed.  The siren sounded like it was going off all over the ship.  Kaidan shoved the stone in a pocket and watched the screen list each passing floor.  The elevator slowed, the CIC floor number light up overhead.  James cursed again, and Kaidan shoved him to the side.  He dove for cover on the other side of the doorway as the doors whined open.

              Red lights flashed and sirens pulsing through the widening doors.  Boots slapped across the floor outside as voices panicked.  A nearby voice boomed yelling at someone.  It sounded like Ursul.  Kaidan pressed tight against the wall.  James stared across the open doorway at him with large white eyes.  He jammed the close door button.  Ursul’s voice bellowed again and a shadow moved across the light projecting onto the elevator’s far wall.  Kaidan edged to get a glimpse at the CIC.  James’s eyes widened larger and larger.  Ursul’s fringe moved on the edge of Kaidan’s vision as she strode to the side yelling at someone in the CIC.  Kaidan snapped his head back and edged away from the door.

              The doors started to close.  Ursul cursed, and a shadow eclipsed the strobing lights.  A talon caught the door.  James’s eyes widened looking across the doorway at Kaidan.  Over the alarms, Taccus yelled something.  Ursul’s voice turned away, and her hand pulled back.  James jammed the close door button.  As her footsteps receded, the doors slid shut. 


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 27**

The elevator moved again leaving the CIC.  James released a loud breath and slouched against the wall

              “We should’ve worked better on an escape plan,” Kaidan said raising his voice over the alarms.

              James snorted.  “I didn’t think the whole damn cavalry would show up.  Maybe a couple engineers or something maybe.”

              The elevator hummed to a stop.  The doors slid open.  Kaidan’s core went cold.

              “Major, come on.”  James motioned.

              Kaidan took a hesitant step out.  It had been a long time since he stood here, the entryway in front of Shepard’s cabin.  James punched open the door to her room.  Kaidan spun back to the elevator just as it sealed close.

              “What the hell, Kaidan?  Come on!”  James yelled over the sirens standing in the doorway.

              “If you’d picked a lower floor, we wouldn’t have opened up on the CIC,” Kaidan yelled louder than he needed to be heard over the alarms.

              “Really?” James backed up into the cabin.  “Where you think they’re going from the CIC?”

              Kaidan stood fixed on the grated landing in front of the elevator.

              “What’s the matter with you?  You staying there?  That elevator’s gonna open and you’re found.  In here at least—”

              “Fine.”  Kaidan burst past him.  “And where are we going to hide in here? Under the bed?”

              The alarm cut off overhead.  The lights gave one last flash in the landing by the elevator.  The cabin doors slid shut.  Kaidan shuffled further into the cabin.  The fish tank, empty and bubbling, illuminated the dim room.  It smelled like her.  The hair on his arms rose and a chill rippled down his neck.

              “They won’t come up here,” James said.  “Why would they, right?”

              Kaidan shrugged back at him.  “Maybe to look for someone.”

              “Total downer,” James pointed at him as he passed and went down the stairs.  “Work on that, you might get more party invitations.”

              “Offering to be the designated shuttle pilot usually scores an invite.”

              James plopped down on the couch and sprawled back into the pillows.  His boots thumped down on the coffee table.

              “You found the Mass Effect Shard,” James said.  The table rattling as he crossed his ankles.

              Kaidan pulled it out from his pocket still standing at the top of the stairs.  He wiped the edge of his shirt over its glossy surface, and still pinching it in the fabric, tossed it down at James.  James lunged forward and caught it.

              “No, you did,” Kaidan said.

              “Really?  Me and Joker again, huh?”

              “Yep,” Kaidan said.  “Nice find.  You can tell Taccus that he almost vented his missing Mass Effect Shard.”

              “Think this will earn me some points with him?” James reclined back holding it up and turning it in the light.

              “Hard saying,” Kaidan said.  “Long as he doesn’t think you hid it or suspect there’s something you’re not telling him, then maybe.”

              “Such a downer.” James shook his head with a sigh and slipped it in the same pocket as the bullet.

              Kaidan hesitated at the top of the stairs before taking slow steps down.  The bed wasn’t made, her pillows stacked together on one side.  A glimpse through the glass window over top the bed showed a speckled field of stars.  Kaidan turned to James and pointed at his boots on the table.

              “Shepard would toss your ass across the room for that.”

              James glanced at his feet.  “Would she?  Probably break something though.  See who gets the last laugh then.”

              Kaidan gave a soft snort and crossed his arms. James held his Omni-Tool to his ear listening.  Finally, he dropped his arm with a sigh.  He rested his head back staring up at the ceiling before closing his eyes with a deep breath.

The last time Kaidan had been here, he’d sat there on the couch alone in this room.  Now it was a year ago, maybe more than a year ago.  That horrible fight with Joker after miscalculating the static drop point had been in front of the whole crew, yelling.  Kaidan had sat right there afterward, stunned and broken.  It was one of the only times he’d came up here on their flight back.  He’d woken up hours later, face stuck to a pillow.  For a moment, he woken smelling her and heart pounding to see her, only to sit up staring around an empty room.  Then when it had all come crashing back down, the shock of even thinking that for one moment she could be there, tore his heart out.  He’d tumbled over his feet in a mad rush to escape this place.  Now here he stood again, in more ways than one.  Kaidan’s boots creaked, and James stirred opening an eye.

              “So, what were you hoping to find here anyway?” James asked.  “The bullet what you’re after?”

              “One of things.”

              “You knew the Shard would be there too?”

              “No,” Kaidan said.  “That didn’t even cross my mind.”

              James rested his head back against the couch.  “What then?”

              “Anchor’s messages on that datapad and some messages sent through the QEC to Earth, they’re encoded.  Anchor had to code to both.”

              “You need to figure out Anchor’s secret code, huh?”

              “It’s somewhere.  He decoded and coded messages while onboard.”

              “Maybe it was all in his head,” James offered.  “You know, before it ended up all over the wall in the cargo bay.”

              “Both of the codes are too complex for that.”

              “Huh.” James stared at the ceiling.  “Shepard confiscated more stuff off him.  Some other messages he had encoded.”

              Kaidan stepped closer.  “More than what you gave me?”

              James down up at him.  “There was some sorta data chip.  Don’t know what Shepard did with it though.”

              James held his Omni-Tool to his ear then dropped his arm again with a sigh.  Shepard had Anchor’s datachip.  Either the Spectres had it now, or Shepard had hidden it somewhere.  Kaidan’s eyes moved to the plexiglass case of model ships above James’s head.  He burst up the stairs and rounded the desk.  James sat up and twisted to look up as Kaidan opened the cracked glass door.  His eyes wandering over the different ships.  He searched his memory before his eyes fell on the geth dreadnaught.  He wrenched it out of the display case.

              “Bored, L2?  We gonna play with Shepard’s ships?  She might be tossing you across the room too.”

              “Not if we don’t break them.”  Kaidan shook the dreadnaught and smiled at the rattle.

              “Sounds like you already broke it,” James said rising from the couch and coming up the stairs.

              Kaidan squinted with one eye into the ship’s hollow hull.  He shined his Omni-Tool light through the slot and shifted the light around the hollow.

              “I get to play too, right?” James said.  “Always wanted to try that turien cruiser out.”

              Kaidan glowed blue, and James stepped back.

              “Hey, you really are going to start playing with these?” he asked.

              “Going to get something out.”

              “Something out?”

              Kaidan concentrated and squinted at the two data chips sliding against each other in the belly of the geth ship.  Long as Kaidan could see them, he could pull them out.  He twisted and maneuvered the first one up to the slot.  It barely slipped out.  It rattled on the glass desk top.  Kaidan strained for the other.  His biotic were getting tired.  Even doing this, he felt a tremor.  The last one plopped out.  He released the mass effect fields and set the geth ship on the desk.

              “Looking a tad run down, L2,” James said.

              Kaidan picked up the two data chips and turned to the terminal on Shepard’s desk.  He clicked one into his Omni-Tool and brought up the holographic screen.  The familiar loading symbol and home screen made Kaidan smile.  Good to have his own Omni-Tool working again.  Kaidan brought up the chip’s data.  It was the Spectre-encoded Terra Firma information he’d sent her.  He snapped the chip out of the input port on his Omni-Tool and insert the second datachip.  The screen lit up with lines of letters and symbols.  Kaidan scrolled through it reading line after line.

              “Mean anything?” James asked.

              “No,” Kaidan said absently following a line with his finger.  “I don’t think it’s supposed to.”

              “Yeah, well, meant nothing to Shepard.  She said it was encoded.”

              Kaidan’s brow wrinkled as he scrolled over it again for a second read.  It was long.  An entire page’s worth of information.

              “It’s not encoded,” he said looking up.  “It’s the code.”

              “The code?” James said.

              “Anchor’s emails and the QEC message were encoded.  This,” Kaidan grinned, “this decode them.  Did Shepard make a copy?”

              Anchor’s messages were saved on the other Omni-Tool.  So were the QEC messages, but he could probably access them through the Normandy’s mainframe.  He just needed to get into the transmission records.  He turned on Shepard’s terminal. 

              “Did she make a copy of the chip?” James asked, and Kaidan nodded.  “No.  I’d watch out though.  She tried to copy it, and it had some sort of killswitch.  Burnt out her desk terminal something wicked.  Adams had to bring up a spare.”

              “Released a virus?”

              “Sure.  I dunno.”

              “I’ll try to copy it later then.”

              Kaidan typed in a string of numbers.  James leaned forward on the desk and smiled.

              “Quite the hacker there, L2.  You’re almost in.”

              “Uh … Thanks, I suppose.”

              James Omni-Tool crackled with static.  He raised it to his ear.

              “Joker?”

              “James?” Joker’s voice sounded distant.

              “You pull that alarm?” James asked.

              “Or a poorly timed systems malfunction, depending on the audience,” Joker crackled over the speaker.  “Like, seriously, guys though …”

              Kaidan navigated another field.  He found the folder and tapped it.

              “What’s going on?” James asked into comm.

              “I think those Spectres know something’s going on.  They went to the cargo bay, came up all pissed.  Pretty sure I’m getting an escort off.  Got a guard watching me.  Talking to someone right now.  But you guys are kinda on your – Hi.”  Joker’s voice blipped out.

              “They’re looking for us.”  James rushed over to the cabin door.  It slid open, and he stood in the doorway watching the elevator.  “Think you can do some hacking this direction?”

              Kaidan lifted his Omni-Tool next to the computer screen and watched a messy string of numbers and letters melt into message.  Something about the Summit.  Kaidan’s eyes danced over the unfolding message.  He exhaled sharply.  Terra Firma _was_ planning an attack.

              “Hey, L2.  Priorities here!”

              Kaidan shot him a look.

              “I mean, whatever you want to do, sir.”

              Kaidan snapped off the terminal and twisted around.  If the code worked on the email too, it would be wealth of information.  Anchor had over a dozen messages Kaidan had flagged as likely encoded.  James was right though.  The priority right now was to get off out without being caught.  There could be repercussions on his career, sure, but with the code he’d found, Kaidan couldn’t take any chances of being searched and losing it.  Taccus and Ursul had no reason to work for Terra Firma, but they could have ties with the Shields or have any number of reasons to not be trustworthy.   

              Kaidan rushed out of the cabin and slid down next to the elevator thumping his knees on the metal grate.  The control panel’s cover was already off for whatever reason and leaned against the wall.

              “The elevator’s the only way up here.  What can you do?” James said.

              “I’m not sure, but when I do, they’re going to know.  If that alarm raised red flags, this will confirm it.”

              Kaidan held his Omni-Tool next to the control panel.  It was good to have all his software and custom system programs again.  His hands paused over the wiring in the control panel.  He frowned and hunched down to see better inside.

              “So,” James said, “what happens if we get caught?”

              Kaidan ran a hand over the gutted circuitry in the box.  He sat back with a wrinkled brow.

              “Well,” he said, “court martial for me.  You, though, we’ll make up a good story.”

              James squatted down.  “What’s the matter?”

              “This panel’s a mess.  Someone tore it apart.”

              The elevator hummed.  James swore and scrambled to his feet.  Kaidan shot to his feet and twisted around looking around the landing.

              “James, hey.” Kaidan dodged to the landing’s railing.  Machinery churned in the dark opening below.  Kaidan turned back to James.  “Stay here.  You belong on the ship, right?”

              “Don’t know ‘bout that exactly.”

              Kaidan climbed over the rail.  James’s mouth dropped open.

              “What you doing?”

              The elevator doors clicked.  Kaidan hung over the side then dropped.  It was a longer drop than he realized.  He smacked onto a cylindrical chamber vibrating with mechanical activity then slipping off careened into another metal-encased engine system.  The elevator doors opened with a long swish above him.  Kaidan braced himself against a vertical vent and blinked up through the crisscross grate overhead.  His skull throbbed from hitting the wall on his way down.  Spots floated in his vision.  Boots paused on the landing above.

              “What’re you doing here?” Taccus’s voice said.

              Two more pairs of boots rushed off the elevator.  James moved aside as they rushed to Shepard’s cabin door.

              “Go check,” Taccus told them.

              The voices overhead echoed down into the darkness around Kaidan.  Despite all the machinery and vents, Kaidan could hear fairly well.  That probably meant it could go both ways then.  Kaidan stood rigid and still leaning against the vent.

              “Well,” Taccus said.  “No response?”

              “I’m just checking over the ship,” James said.

              “Up here?”

              “That alarm, it scare you too?  Thought I’d better check it top to bottom.”

              Taccus gave an audible huff.  “Not send for an engineer?  Interesting how you have avoided us while checking it top to bottom.”

              A soldiers came out of Shepard’s room.  “Nothing.”

              “Nothing?  Check again.”

              A sigh.

              James’s voice again.  “I didn’t bring a girl up here if that’s what you’re thinking.”

              Taccus clicked his tongue and paced to the railing.  Kaidan recoiled sinking onto his knees in the shadows.  His skimmed hand down the vent, and he reached out to brace himself on the floor.  He stifled a curse and yanked his hand back.  He angled his palm catch the dim, segmented light filtering down.  A drop of blood welled up at the base of his thumb.  Taccus shifted on the grating overhead. Particles of dust and metal erosion drifted down on Kaidan’s head.  Each breath sounded too loud in his ears with the silence.

              Taccus pivoted on his boots.  “Sure you didn’t bring a man up here?”

              “Uh,” James paused.  “I don’t swing that way.  James Vega’s all about the ladies.”

              The soldier’s footsteps returned to the landing.  “Still nothing, Spectre.”

              Taccus cleared his throat gruffly and paced.  “Your friend, the pilot, seemed pretty twitchy.  I’ll tell you a secret.  I think he meant to set off that alarm.”

              “Maybe he smelled smoke.”

              “I think, maybe he was covering for you.  You and Alenko.”

              Damn.  Any illusion of the Spectres searching not searching for him was gone. 

              “Major Alenko?” James said incredulously.  A little too incredulously to be good acting, unless the point was to rub Taccus’s face in it.  Hopefully, it wasn’t that.  Provoke him, and Taccus would probably tear the ship apart to find Kaidan.

              “You’re acquainted?” Taccus said.

              “We’ve played poker a few times,” James said.  “That guy owes me big time.”

              It was a little too emphatic.  Kaidan rolled his eyes.  Yeah, he got it.

              “Right.”  Taccus motioned at the soldiers.  “You, stay put and, you, with me.  I’m taking Commander Vega on a walk.”

              The elevator doors opened, and Taccus and Vega’s shadows moved inside.  One of the soldiers’ feet boomed across the landing and followed them into the elevator.  Kaidan let out a slow breath as its doors closed.  Metal creaked above as the last soldier shifted in place outside Shepard’s cabin.  After a moment he sighed and hit the open button to cabin.  The door closed behind him.


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 28**

He kept his eyes fixed above and listened for a few minutes before turning on his Omni-Tool light.  His hand was bloody and dark with dust.  Filth coated the crowded circuitry, vents, and pipping.  Kaidan shined his light across the floor.  It caught something in the light.  Kaidan grabbed it gingerly finding a safe hold in his fingertips.  He turned it over in the light.  A syringe.  A milliliter of clear, yellow fluid bubbled as he turned it.  It must have only nicked him, fortunately. 

              Kaidan held the light up. The beam moved over old, brown blood and a few dispensed thermal clips.  There weren’t any other syringes on the floor.  This area hadn’t been cleaned or searched after the attack apparently.  The syringe wasn’t dusty.  Kaidan moved over to where he’d found it and looked directly overhead.  It was the area just in front of Shepard’s cabin.

              Kaidan twisted the needle off the syringe and discarded it.  He squirted some of the fluid into his palm and scanned it quickly with his Omni-Tool.  It took a while to search and identify, but when it did, Kaidan smiled. Unidentified.  Terra Firma’s unidentified poison maybe.  Kaidan could hope at least.  There was a reservoir on his Omni-Tool, and he injected the rest of the syringe.  It would take a while to run full tests for the chemical formula and makeup.

              Kaidan rolled the empty syringe across the floor and stared up through the grate at the elevator.  Taking the elevator wasn’t going to work, not with the CIC full of people and an APB with his picture.  The CIC should be directly below him.  This was some limbo in between.  A part of ship he’d never worked on.  What systems were accessible here, Kaidan wasn’t even sure.  The vents were too small for him to fit a person.  He’d gone over blueprints of the ship, but never scrutinized this section.  Engines, shields, and weapons systems were a lot more interesting than whatever this area housed, probably the air humidifier, life support, plumbing, waste processing, or something along those lines.

              He moved around the machinery and used another light frequency on his Omni-Tool to study the system panels, wiring lines, and circuit routes.  Maybe he could find another alarm.  It probably wouldn’t faze anyone though, just pinpoint his location.

              The ship shuttered with a hum rose through the floor.  Air rushed out the pipework stirring the dust and making Kaidan’s hair move.  Buttons flashes as equipment buzzed to life.  The metal floor vibrated under Kaidan’s boots.  Overhead, Shepard’s cabin door slid open, and Kaidan covered his light.

              “Yes, Spectre,” the soldier spoke into a comm as he crossed the landing.  Kaidan strained to hear over the rising engine hum.  He stepped into the elevator.  “How much earlier?  I thought we weren’t--” It cut off behind the elevator’s sliding doors.

              Kaidan checked the time.  He should have four more hours before departure.  Kaidan braced against the wall as the ship shuttered again with another system roaring awake and blinking around him in the dark.  The Normandy wasn’t a commercial passenger ship fixed on a set schedule.  Like it or not, the ship was coming online.  That didn’t happen until pre-departure checks. 

If Kaidan was in Taccus’s place, it was a rather satisfying notion -- your shanghaied fugitive stumbling into the CIC after forty-eight hours squatting in the ductwork hungry, thirsty, and unshowered.  The satisfaction would be palpable.  Being the other way around though, Kaidan wanted to avoid that scenario.

Kaidan punched through his Omni-Tool contact list.  He couldn’t contact anyone with the Alliance.  It might be monitored.  Miranda was in surgery.  Kaidan’s breath stiffened in his chest.  He swallowed and blinked the thought away.  He found the name he was looking for and sent his message.  Liara responded immediately over the chat.

KAIDAN: I need blueprints for the Normandy SV2.

LIARA: [after a beat] How much time?

              Kaidan considered for a moment.  He better just lay it out straight.

KAIDAN: Asap

LIARA: I’ll need to access Alliance intelligence.

              Kaidan had considered doing that himself.  Activity in the database under his username could be flagged though.  If Taccus was clever, he’d be watching Kaidan’s user activity.  The access location could be traced.  Taccus seemed clever.

KAIDAN: You’re at the hospital?

LIARA: Too early to know anything.  You want the blueprints?

KAIDAN: No. ?

LIARA: ??

KAIDAN: Hospital?

LIARA: Yes.

KAIDAN: Adams.  Can he help me?

              There wasn’t a response.  A symbol lit up the corner of his screen.  His Omni-Tool had finished running the sample from the syringe.  He punched it up and stared at the formula for a moment.  It didn’t mean much to him, but it would to someone.  He exited the screen.  He needed to focus on getting out first.

Machinery deeper in the ship ground to life.  A quiver ran through the ship.  Static pinpricked over his skin like a rolling wave and then gone.  The FLT drive was online.  Damn.  This really was happening.  He really was going to stumble out unshaven begging for food.

              Kaidan rubbed his face roughly, head aching, and body sore.  He checked the messenger again.  Nothing.  His Omni-Tool light bounced off the metal surfaces around him as he paced along the wall.  A flash of something metallic on the floor caught his eye.  He reached down hesitantly.  It could be another needle, but it was too small.  Instead he held up a small silver button and turned it in his fingertips.  It was from an Alliance uniform.  His Omni-Tool chimed.  The button clattered to the floor as he brought up the messenger.

LIARA: He’s here.

              Kaidan glanced around.  With the ship charging up, it was fairly loud now.  If someone surprised him getting off the elevator above, that person probably wouldn’t hear anything before Kaidan cut the feed.  He just needed to talk softly.  He only needed audio.

              “Adams.”

              “Alenko?”

              “I need some help.”

              “Go ahead.”

              Kaidan twisted around explaining his location.  Adams paused for a moment before speaking.

              “Where are you trying to go?”

              “Off.  I want off.”

              “What?  Sorry …”

              Kaidan repeated it louder into the comm.

              “Oh, oh.  Off.  Yeah, I’ve got you.  Off …”

              “I don’t know if you can hear it, but all that engine sound, the Normandy’s leaving.  I need off.  Now.”

              “I see.”

              There was silence.  Kaidan waited. Finally, Adams spoke. 

“Okay.  I don’t have a real good solution for you.”

“I’ll take a mediocre one, Adams.”

“Well …”

Kaidan waited then prompted.  “Yeah?  Come on.  I’ll take it.”

The floor lurched under Kaidan.  He caught his hand on the wall to steady himself.  Full propulsion systems were coming on.  They must be pushing the departure process.  The ship shouldn’t be bucking like this.

“Adams, please.  Anything.”

“Okay, well,” Adams paused.  “You’ll have to get into the CIC.  No way around it.”

Kaidan exhaled loudly and shook his head.  That was worse than mediocre.  Impossible.

“You don’t need to leave out the CIC, but you need to get below the gangway’s grate.  Once there, you can make your way to the emergency evacuation hatch.  You’ll pop out right in the loading platform.  You’ll be crawling out right in front of the Normandy’s front door.  Don’t stay in the platform or …”

“Yeah, I know.” Kaidan said.  Spaced.  Either stay on the ship or get to the docking terminal.  No dithering under the floor panels of the station’s loading ramp.

 Kaidan scuffed his boot at the silver button on the floor.

“Major Alenko?”

“All right.” Kaidan sighed and touched his throbbing temple.  “How do I get to the CIC?”

 

* * *

 

Kaidan squinted down at the back of Joker’s head through the vent slots.  The ship moved beneath him again.  Joker had a copilot Kaidan recognized as a crew member from the Balmoral.  A soldier stood over Joker’s shoulder.  The CIC at the other end of the gangway whirled with footsteps, chatter, and the general commotion of takeoff preparation.  Much too commotion for him to drop down in the CIC.  Here though, if he came down just to the right, he’d be shielded from view from most of the CIC.  Keeping low enough and quiet enough, it wasn’t impossible that he would be able to pull up one of the gangway’s grated panels and slip down below.

As it was though, Joker’s guard stood right in the way and the copilot kept glaring over at Joker.  Every small sound or movement had him snapping his head back to look at it.  A few soldiers wandered down the gangway back and forth.  They could be problems too.  There was no sign of Taccus or Ursul.  No signs of James.  Kaidan would owe him big.

“Getting close?” the soldier asked overtop Joker.

The baseball cap moved.  “Sure.  It’s coming along.”

“You’re stalling,” the copilot grumbled.  “Here let me do it.”

He reached over, pressed on a screen, and slid it over to his side.

“Hey!” Joker snapped.

“You’re taking too long,” the copilot snapped back.

The soldier chuckled and turned around to face the CIC.  He walked a few steps directly below Kaidan.  If Kaidan slid the vented ceiling panel over and came down right now, he’d clobbered the soldier.  Kaidan couldn’t imagine that not drawing attention from the CIC though.  Joker sat back in the pilot’s chair and readjusted his baseball cap.

“Just giving up any pretext of preparing?” the copilot muttered pulling up another screen.  “We don’t need you anyway, you know.  I’ve flown--”

“I don’t care what piece of space crap you’ve flown.  You haven’t flown the Normandy.”

The copilot snorted.  “Really?  I will today.  You’re being such a—”

“Shut up.”  The soldier turned back to them.  “He’s distracting you.  Just get ready.  And you,” he pointed at Joker,” we can take you off duty.”

Joker grumbled and brought up a new holoscreen.  He punched through a series of prompts.

“He’s not really doing anything,” the copilot said.

“Shut up,” the soldier growled and wandered further down the gangway toward the CIC.

Kaidan needed Joker’s attention.  He sat back on his feet and looked around in the darkness.  Something small that wouldn’t be seen is what he needed.  That silver button under the landing could work.  He’d have to backtrack though.  If he was wearing a shirt with buttons, he could harvest his own.  His eyes scoured the space around for anything else to use.  Nothing

He stood slowly to prevent the metal groaning beneath him.  He ducked his back under a bend in the wall.  His Omni-Tool light cast a tight, high powered beam as he shuffled forward peering through the matrix of equipment and bulging machinery.  Maybe he couldn’t find it again.  Not from here.  His light flashed on something.  It could be needle.  He reached forward glowing blue in the darkness and felt out to it.  It was far away, and the sharp beam of his light barely uncovered it.  It glowed as Kaidan felt it and got traction on it.  It was the button, so small it was hard even for him to manipulate from this distance.  It might not be worth it.  He pulled, and it glowed as it lifted.  His pinch and traction increasing as it neared.  He grabbed it out of the air.

He settled back in his spot on the ceiling vent over the gangway near Joker.  Joker and the copilot were still fighting.  Joker waved at the screens in front of himself as the copilot rolled his eyes.  Laughing with a sharpness, the copilot shook his head turning back to his own screen.  The button shot through the vent like a blue-tailed comet.  Joker yelped jumping and touching the back of his baseball cap, but he didn’t look up.  The copilot gave him a sideway smirk and another argument started.  Kaidan stared.  Great.  That had been pointless.

Kaidan already had that jittery feeling of hitting the threshold of what his biotics could take.  He needed rest, food, and time.  Moving all the heavy metal in the cargo bay and the stress and sleeplessness of the week was catching up.  Kaidan’s eyes strayed to the empty chip bag at Joker’s feet.  Kaidan concentrated, and the edges of his vision turned blue.  His hand shook slightly as he raised it.  The sack crinkled with a faint glow.  Joker didn’t seem to notice.  Hmm.  Kaidan balled his fist, bag crumpling, and snapped it back in one fluid motion.  Joker shrieked lifting off his seat.  His copilot jolted staring around wild eyed and pressing a hand to his chest.  Joker kicked wildly and howled.  The soldier on the gangway raced over to him.  Three more forms came pounding down gangway.

Not what Kaidan had intended.  Joker was jumpy.  He’d wanted to get Joker’s attention, get Joker to help him with a distraction elsewhere on the ship.  Now Kaidan had created his own distraction but exactly in the place he wanted to draw attention away from not toward.  Damnit.

“Holy hell!” Joker yelled snaking a crinkled chip wrapper out from the bottom of his pant leg. 

“What’s going on?” Taccus marched down the gangway.

Taccus shewed aside a few of the onlookers.  James wandered into sight on the gangway behind Taccus.  He stopped short of the cockpit’s commotion.  James sighed with a flat face.  The jitteriness ramped up as Kaidan drew on his biotic again.  The dog tags on James’s chest clicked together and rose glowing in the air.  James snatched them with a fist.  The blue light winking out.  He looked behind and around the gangway with wide eyes.  His eyes lifted and stopped on Kaidan’s.  A small grin spread across James’s face.  The group in the cockpit was still making over Joker, who gestured with a loud voice.  Joker threw the crumpled sack at the cockpit window as the copilot started yelling.

James rolled his shoulders, glanced around, then looked back up at Kaidan.  Kaidan turned his head against the vent to glimpse what he could of the CIC.  Three personnel huddled together around the galaxy map.  Everyone else was either huddled around the commotion in the cockpit or out of sight.

Kaidan skid along the overhead vents until he was directly over James.  The edges of the vent panel lifted in Kaidan’s fingertips enough to test it would come out when he wanted it.  He motioned to the grated floor panel in front of James.  James’s eyebrows rose but his grin spread wider.  He glanced around and then down at the grate toeing back a step before giving the okay sign. 

Taccus reeled around and giving James a hard stare.  The guy had a sixth sense or something.  The ruckus was dying down, and Taccus snapped a sharp order at Joker with his eyes still fixed on James.  If this was going to work, Kaidan needed a better distraction.  He craned his head to see the open wires under the cockpit dash. 

Joker settled in his seat and pulled a screen up on the cockpit dash.  The other soldiers crowded around him in the cockpit stared to shift and talk.  The three CIC personnel waited at the elevator.  They stepped inside and the doors slid shut.  It had to be now.  Taccus turned his full body to James with narrowing eyes.  To James’s credit, he didn’t even flick a glance upward at Kaidan.  Instead he crossed his arms and stared dully back at Taccus.  Joker said something, and Taccus turned his head and yelled something.

Dark energy rippled over Kaidan’s body, and he yanked his hand back with a hard twist and pull.  Blue flashed under the cockpit dash with an eruption of sparks as wires burst loose.  Joker screeched reeling back in a flare of electric flashes, alarms sounding, and alerts blazing across the dash.  Taccus whirled around raising an arm to the burst of lights.

Kaidan slid aside the vent panel.  James snatched up the grate at his feet and moved back as Kaidan dropped.  The gangway’s metal edge tore his arm as he fell through.  His feet smashed into the metal floor sinking into a crouch under the gangway.  Hot blood ran down his fingetips, and he spit out a mouthful of it as the floor grate slammed into place overhead.  He’d bitten his tongue.

“Vega!” Taccus roared, feet pounding across the gangway grate.

Glimpsed through the slots above, James’s eyes widened.  He hunched over the grate still, hands barely left the panel.  In a split second, he was on his knees yelling a curse and hugging his midsection.  Kaidan shuttled along the narrow passage under the gangway as Taccus’s shadow darted him overhead. 

“You aren’t shocked!  You weren’t even nearby!” Taccus bellowed.

“I think – can someone check me out?”

“What?”

“Someone medical.  I have a heart thing.”

Taccus snorted and yelled, “Ridiculous!  Wait …”  Shuffling and a long exhale made Kaidan press forward faster under the pipework.  “What—Where—Move aside!  Someone grab him.”

Taccus had seen the missing ceiling vent then, maybe the blood on the floor grate.  Kaidan slipped into the loading platform.  He was outside the ship.  His hands shook as he fumbled at the emergency hatch overhead.  It flew open, and he grasped the edges of the doorway.  He pulled himself up and climbed his knees shooting a look up at the Normandy’s airlock.  The door clicked exhausting around the edges.  Kaidan shoved off from the floor and scrambled to his feet.  He stumbled into a sprint down the loading track, the station meters away.  The door scrapping open as his feet pounded on the track.  He wouldn’t make it unseen. 

He skidded to a stop.  There was an idea, but it made his stomach churn.  There wasn’t time to debate the morality of it.  He calmed his breathing and turned about face to meet the opening door.  Taccus burst through the open doors with two Alliance soldiers Kaidan didn’t recognize.  Kaidan sauntered back up the loading track to the ship.  Taccus’s chest heaved, eyes darting around until they landed on Kaidan.  His eyes flashed.  A turien style grin broke through, and he raised his head high as he moved forward with heavy steps to meet Kaidan.

“Games up,” he said.

Kaidan kept his voice flat.  “I heard you’re leaving early.  Got here as soon as I could.  Wondered what was going on.”

Taccus’s eyes narrowed, breathing still labored.  “What?” 

“Well, is everything okay?  I was worried, Taccus.”

Taccus exhaled a burst of breath.  “Don’t even—”

“I ran all the way here.”

Taccus marched faster closing the distance.  Kaidan slowed into a stop giving Taccus a weak smile as the turien bumped into him.  Taccus rammed a finger into Kaidan’s chest.

“Don’t mess with me, Alenko!”

“I’m confused,” Kaidan said wide eyed and glanced at the soldiers lingering in the background.

Taccus sprayed spittle.  “Alenko, don’t for a minute think this is working.”

“Taccus, you seem worked up,” Kaidan said, voice still soft and even.

Kaidan probably wasn’t much better of an actor than James.  He wasn’t going to fool anyone here, even Taccus’s two soldiers had slight frowns.  They could only say what they saw though, which was nothing but Kaidan walking up the ramp.  Taccus breathed raggedly.  He quivered as he tapped Kaidan in the chest again.

“You’re bleeding.”

Kaidan lifted his arm.  A bloody gash oozed through the torn sleeve at his bicep. 

“Damnit,” Kaidan said.  “Must have caught myself on a corner in my rush to see you off.”

Taccus hissed.  “Sure it wasn’t on the gangway inside?”

“No, definitely the corner back there.”

“And you came all the way up to the Normandy’s front door to see us off?”

“How else?”

“Covered in, let’s see, ash.”  He wiped a black smear on Kaidan’s neck.  “Dust … blood …”

“Don’t groom me.”

Taccus punched him in the face.  Kaidan staggered back clutching at his jaw.  Hot blood ran down his lips, tasting metal in his mouth.  Taccus jabbed Kaidan in the chest and shoved him back another step.  The muscles in Taccus’s arm contracted as his taloned hand fisted again.  Kaidan scrunched his face waiting, but Taccus pulled back and shook his head.

“Damn you,” he muttered.  “We could do a DNA test you know.”

Kaidan shrugged, wincing from the sharp pain in his jaw.

Taccus glanced back at the Normandy.  “Your accomplice is probably wiping it up right now.”

The idea was laughable.  James wasn’t that cunning.  No way anyone was in there mopping his blood up under the gangway, but Taccus probably knew that.  In the end it probably wasn’t worth it, long as Kaidan didn’t push him too far.

“You know,” Taccus said.  “I really thought I could trust you.  Heard all this about you.  Guess not.”

That hurt more than the punch to his face.

“Oh.” Taccus turned halfway.  He twisted back and punched Kaidan in the face again.  “Now we’re even.  Too bad you cut those cameras.  I assume anyway.  I guess there are only eyewitnesses to this.”

The two soldiers grinned at Kaidan.  Taccus turned and stormed back to the Normandy.  His lackies twisted on their heels and followed him through the airlock.  Kaidan palpated his jaw, neck muscles coiling in pain, and a shiver running down his back.  He turned away from the Normandy, holding his jaw, and focused on his serrated breathing.  Focusing on breathing helped with his migraines, but didn’t do much for this. 

 


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 29**

The docking ramp brought him out into the loading bay’s terminal.  He needed to reset the cameras.  He’d started the vid loop from a control panel in a warehouse off the loading bay.  This time of night, it was a private enough access point to hack into the local surveillance feeds.

He overrode the warehouse’s sliding doors and slipped inside. The energy saving lights cast an eerie greenish tint to looming stacks of shipping crates as Kaidan crossed a wide clearing by the door.  He skirted the shadows of overhead cranes loaded with shipping freight.  His boots echoed across one of the floor vent panels, and he smiled.  If his friends had managed to slink through the vent work to these warehouses, who knows what they would have found.  This much tall, open space probably stored station supplies and rations.  Pilfering the warehouse would have earned some bad memories once they were found out, and they were always found out.  Fortunate, they never found their way through the ductwork here then.

He wove through the stacked shipping containers finding an alleyway to the back.  The control panel’s cover was still laying on the floor where he’d left it an hour earlier.  He dropped to his knees next to the panel and turned on his Omni-Tool. 

A light scrapping sound made Kaidan snap his head around.  He clicked off the bright screen on his Omni-Tool.  Nothing moved in the shadowy gaps between the towering rows of shipping containers.  He bent his head and listened -- only the distant hum of the station’s life support system and the low overhead buzz of electric lights, maybe a vague creaking of weight shifting and settling above in the crane’s suspension ropes.

He took his hand off his pistol and clicked his Omni-Tool screen back on.  He glanced around once more then stooped his head to see into the panel.  The vid’s feed needed the wires tied back together first.  He reached in.  Hair lifted on the back of his neck.  The air tingled.  He jerked back.  A burst of blue energy flashed across the control panel.  Kaidan reeled back and kicked to his feet.  Another burst of energy caught him halfway up.  His skin exploded in a storm of needles and fire.  Blinded, he hit the wall, breath slamming out of him.

He gasped raising a shaky hand.  Blue light fanned out from his fingers like a bubble.  He stumbled away from the wall quivering as a blue glowed across his skin.  Sharp bursts slammed into the bubbled shield with burning sparks.  Kaidan stumbled back.  The booms echoing through the bay. 

He dodged to the side at the cover of a metal freight container.  The electric shield dropped from his hand as his barrier rippled over his skin.  Something sharp ricocheted off barrier on his leg.  His ears boomed.  He pulled tighter around the corner of the shipping crate.  Metal flecks sprayed into the air by his shoulder as he pressed tight against the crate.  He tore his pistol from his pelt and stepped closer to the edge.  The shots stopped.  Kaidan spun around the crate holding the pistol out with both hands.  Nothing.

His muscles tightened, chest heaving as he twisted around with his gun keeping his back to the row of crates.  There was an armed biotic somewhere.  The air rippled in the corner of his vision.  He spun and fired.  Bullets ricocheted off a ripple in air, and the clear air forming into a glowing blue figure.

Kaidan dodged a flash of light.  His Omni-Tool flashed as he lashed out with a snapping hiss of electrical current.  The figure staggered as its blue field shivered.  Kaidan motioned with his other hand and the figure flashed.  The Reave made Kaidan’s barrier glowed brighter as he fired his pistol over and over.

The figure sprinted to the edge of a crate, barrier dimming but still present.  The pistol’s bullets ricocheted off the blue veil.  Kaidan tore after the biotic raising his Omni-Tool hand again.  The air misted with frost, and the figure stumbled.  Its dim barrier iced over turning white before shattering as the biotic burst free.  The figure slipped around the corner, Kaidan on the heels.  Kaidan snared the edge of the crate and swung himself around the corner.  The figure was gone again.  Kaidan fired down the dark row of crates and threw an Overload field from his Omni-Tool.  They hit nothing.

Kaidan panted.  His vision swam with flashes of lights that he knew weren’t really there.  He staggered against the crate grasping for a handhold to keep himself upright.  The start of biotic fatigue.  He shouldn’t have Reaved.  Between that, maintaining his barrier, and the state he was already in -- he was pushing it too far.

Light flashed behind him.  Kaidan twisted as a glowing sphere slammed into his chest.  He clawed at the crate as he stumbled back a step.  The sphere seared his vision, sucking and swirling the air into its center unbalancing him.  His feet slipped on the floor losing traction.  He clenched his teeth, broken jaw shooting with pain, and clamped down on his breath.  His barrier flared brighter.  Feeling a little give, he scrambled to gain footing and tug back against the singularity’s vacuum.  Almost free.

The air waivered beside him.  Kaidan ducked.  Metal flakes and sparks spraying from the crate overhead.  Kaidan’s Omni-Tool flared.  He twisted his wrist up, but his footing slipped.  He tumbled back into the gravitational field.  An Omni-blade flashed past him.  A sharp pain skimmed his forearm as he swept backward into the sphere.

Kaidan’s boot lifted, toes dragging across the floor.  The blue figure’s Omni-blade glowed red as the figure stepping closer.  Kaidan clenched his face, lungs burning and he strained his barrier.  His barrier flared and burst in an explosion of light.  The figure flew backward and slammed onto the floor.  The singularity sphere winked out.  Kaidan’s feet clattered to the floor, and he stumbled forward catching his footing.  He raised his pistol and fired.  The biotic rolled to the side raising an arm.  A blue shield blossomed out from its hand.  Bullets deflected across its diming surface as Kaidan moved forward firing his pistol.

The figure lifted a pistol above the shield and fired across the top of it.  Kaidan ducked, and the bullet grazed through the hair on his head.  His barrier was down.  He’d forgotten.  He dodged between two crates as bullets sprayed the floor along his path.  Covered behind the crate, he held a shaky hand out in front of his face.  He wasn’t going to be able to shoot straight soon.  His frown deepened as he stared at his hand.  Blue flickered on his skin, but in a bright burst, went out.  He breath caught as an electric shiver made his head swim.

The bullets cut off.  Something scuffling across the metal floor.  The biotic was getting up.  Kaidan twisted to face the face the crate’s corner.  Movement stir to the side down the corridor of crates.  His clip had to be nearly spent.  He backed up slowly, eyes fixed on the corridor, and reached for another clip.  Gone.  He must have dropped his spare clip in the shuffle.  A chill settled over him as he grasped the gun with white knuckles.  No footsteps approached, but this biotic was quiet.  The biotic could be invisibly cloaked again.

Kaidan’s vision unfocused head feeling light.  He stumbled catching himself against the crate before he fell.  He blinked and raised his arm again holding the gun out.  He could pass out right here.  He’d been to this point before.  If his nose wasn’t already bleeding from the hit, it would be bleeding again now.  His feet stumbled.  He couldn’t sense the biotic anywhere.

Kaidan spun around.  The row of crates behind him lead back to the wall.  There were gaps between the crates along the row, but otherwise it was a clear shot.  Kaidan glanced back to where he’d left his attacker around the corner in the other corridor.  The air didn’t ripple or move, even holding his breath, it was still and silent in the bay. 

He glanced back down the row of crates at the wall and lowered his gun.  He shot forward toward the wall eyeing the gaps on either side as he sprinted ahead.  He skid up against the wall and darted to the side behind the cover of a crate.  He pressed his back against the wall and looked to each side.  If skimmed along the wall to the warehouse’s corner it would provide more shelter, but then again, there was a reason no one wanted to be “cornered.”  It was better here, wall to his back, crate in front, two open sides.  One way for escape.  He could pick his way along the wall, crate to crate, and get to the door.  His would-be killer was probably be waiting by the door anyway.  One way in, one way out.  Ironic he’d cut off the surveillance footage of his own murder.

He seemed to have some time, he glanced to either side and punched up his Omni-Tool keeping the gun in hand.  Dizziness overcame him for a moment as the screen lit up.  Breathing fast, he blinked grounding himself against eh wall and pressed up his contact list.  His Omni-Tool lit up buzzing.  Miranda was calling him.  Kaidan frowned and reached for the comm button.

An explosion of blue light flashed in front of him. Kaidan snapped his head up already scrambling to the side.  The crate in front of him glowed as it smashed into him.  The crate forced him closer to the wall as his palms strained against it.  Dark energy flared over his skin as he turned his head, teeth clenched, grunting, and aching as he struggled to push it back.  The crate scraped across the floor forcing itself deeper against his palms and tightening against him.  He stared out down the wall.  He wasn’t close enough to the edge to slip out.  The crate pressed into his chest.  He clenched all the air he could hold, straining forward, light blazing across his skin, holding it, and trembling.  His vision blacked out then faded back in with a distorted flicker.  His lungs couldn’t expand.  He gasped for air.  If he blacked out even an instant.

“Alenko?” a female voice boomed through the warehouse.

The crate’s blue light flashed away.  If faded away in a mist.  Kaidan grunted, sucking at air, and scraped the crate back enough on one side to spill out arms wheeled, coughing, and shaking.  He lurched down a row of crate gripping his gun, stumbling, and unsteady.  Each panting breath felt like breathing glass.

“Spectre Alenko?”

The voice was distant but closer.  She must hear him.  The open space in front of the door was just ahead.  Kaidan staggered forward, straining to pick up his feet, desperate to catch his breath.  His chest felt caved in.  Whoever it was calling for him though was in trouble.

“Who’s here?” the voice asked.

Footsteps moved across the metal floor in the open space ahead.  Kaidan was almost there.  It was a female voice.  Kaidan stumbled to a stop at the edge of the crates.  It wasn’t Liara.  Thank God.  Or Miranda.  The figure spun around to face him and glowered.  A turien. Ursul.

“Alenko!  It _is_ you.”

A gunshot exploded echoing around the bay, and she sprawled forward hitting the floor face first.  Blood fanned out in front of her, and Kaidan lunged forward.  Ursul lifted her head up, wide eyed, blue blood pouring from her mouth.

The biotic stepped out into the open on the other side of the clearing.  The glowing figure put its back to the warehouse doors.  The biotic rushed at them.  Kaidan raised his pistol.  The figure made a swiping motion, and the gun tore out of Kaidan’s shaky hand.  It skipped across the floor and slid under a crate.  Kaidan stood over Ursul.  She sputtered trying to push herself upright, but her palms slipped in the blood.

The blue figure leveled a gun as it drew closer.  Kaidan squinted at the figure through the thin veil of its barrier.  An asari, vaguely familiar, from the Balmoral.  It was the surgeon.  She squeezed her pistol trigger.  Kaidan’s batted it away with a flash of light.  Metal pinging off the burst of shielding.  He swayed straining to focus as his vision floated with bright spots.

He needed to get her barrier down.  He couldn’t use his biotics or pistol to any real effect unless it dropped.  She was getting close enough for tech though.  The Omni-Tool heated his skin, muscles tightening, as his hand balled into a fist watching each approaching step.  She stopped short.  His breath escaped with a frown.  She knew not to get too close then.  She raised her pistol and fired.  He flicked it away with a shield burst.  Eventually, he wouldn’t time it right.  Ursul raised herself on one palm and pawed the pistol she’d dropped.  The asari’s eyes flashed down to Ursul at his feet.

The distraction was enough, he leaped forward raising his Omni-Tool.  The asari stumbling backward and firing, but he batted it away.  The charge from his Omni-Tool burst into her barrier making it waver.  Gun in one hand, she flung her open hand at him burst of light.  He braced as the Throw hit him.  He flew back and slammed to the floor dazed.  The Throw would have broken his shield anyway.  Dodge?  Pretty sure she was hoping that with her gun.  He sat up.  Ursul’s blood slipped under him.  Ursul wavered on her knees a few meters to his side and raised her gun.  She fired.

It pinged off the asari’s barrier, and she fired back.  Kaidan flashed out a sputtering shield.  The bullet pierced through and dug into the floor next to leg.  She was too far to manipulate her with the tech on his Omni-Tool.  Ursul returned fire.  The shots hit the floor at asari’s feet as she dodged.

The asari’s pistol clicked, and she paused.  Her eyes flickered above Ursul, shots flashing off her barrier.  Her lips cursed up, and she threw out her hand.  Blue energy flashed overhead.  Metal shrieked and ripped above.

“Ursul!” he garbled, broken-jawed. 

He reached his hand out to her, but her eyes turned up to the crane.  A shadow narrowed over her.  Her eyes wide and wild met his.  Blue burst from his outstretched hand.  She flew backward.  The freight container smashed into the floor with an explosion of air and dust.  The floor lurched under him as his head slammed to the floor.  His arm erupted in pain sucking the air out of his lungs with a gasp.  The pain splintered up his arm into his chest.  It was pinned under the cargo container.  The pain was probably the only thing keeping him from passing out.  He couldn’t see.  The world blurred around him with a floaty feeling.  Kaidan focused on the pain letting himself feel as his eyes watered.

Footsteps approached.  With his Omni-Tool … wait.  It was on his right arm crushed and pinned.  The asari must be safe to near them.  Ursul must not have her gun.  Maybe he hadn’t flung her far enough away.  He hissed through his teeth with the pain.  The footsteps stopped.  Kaidan rolled his head to see her.  She went in and out of focus as she dropped her eyes to him.  She raised her pistol.  He drew a sharp breath.  Click.  She’d forgotten to change the clip.

She released a long exhale and with quivering fingers dug around in the belt at her waist.  Her shoulder hunched with heavy, shaky breaths.  Kaidan’s vision lightened and darkened.  Focus on the pain.  He turned his cheek against the cool metal floor and blinked slowly waiting.  Something focused in his vision.  He squinted.  Ursul’s gun lay just above his head but out of reach.  He twisted to see the asari again.

The spent clip rattled to the floor at her feet.  It was a familiar hollow sound.  Kaidan lifted his head.  She was standing on a vent panel in the floor.  Her barrier flickered dimly, chest billowing, as she turned the pistol over in her hand.  Kaidan drew a sharp breath.  Focus on the pain, stay awake.  The asari snapped a new clip in.

Kaidan reached out his left hand to her.  Breath slow.  Concentrate.  This is where he had learned it.  He clenched his breath, sweat and pain blurring his eyes.  She raised the gun finger on the trigger.  There!  A blue flash.  Metal squealed and ripped.  Her gun tipped upward as she fired with the vent panel caving in under her.  The bullet hit the cargo container by his head as he hand extended up.  Her arms spread out catching her upper body over the hole.  Enough – that brief drop in concentration, exhausted, guard down low.  Kaidan fired. 

It struck.  Blue faded off the gun in his hand as she tumbled back against the edge of the vent standing waist deep.  Her barrier flashed over her skin again.  Her face raised with a fierce glare drawing her lips back from red teeth.  Blood dripped down the corners of her mouth.  She stumbled forward resting her arms on the floor and looked down the pistol at him.  Kaidan unloaded his gun.  The bullets skid off her barrier driving her backward.  Kaidan’s gun clicked, spent.  The asari woozily lifted her pistol again and locked eyes with him.  The shot missed.  She sank down, clawing weakly at the flooring, try to aim her gun again, but she wasn’t getting up again.  She sank with a thunk out of sight.

Kaidan thumped his head back on the floor.  The room spun around him.  He let the pain fade over him and drop away.  Blackness at last.


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 30**

              Pain.  Kaidan’s lips drew back, and he squeezed his eyes as tight as he could.  When he woke up again, he was lying in regular bed in his gray walled room on Jump Zero.  He pushed himself upright and nearly screamed.  He fell back onto his pillow panting from the pain shooting up his arm.  A tight bandage wrapped his right arm from palm to shoulder.  The bones felt stiff and achy.  A sickly whiteness pervaded the skin peeking through the bandage.   His arm.  The freight container.  He hesitantly touched his face.  Pain radiated under his fingertips along the jaw.  His whole body felt sore and weak.  The knifing pain up his arms was starting to fade though.  He sat up slowly only using his left to raise himself up on the bed.

              It was the room he’d rented on Jump Zero.  Déjà vu waking up here again, but this time he was alone.  He slid his feet to the floor.  Silence folded in around him.  Shepard.  Kaidan pushed off the bed steadying himself.  He was in his underwear. His bag and clothes were at the foot of the bed.

Miranda had been calling him on his Omni-Tool.  He remembered that now.  He reached over with his left hand and paused over the bandaged, waxy skin on his wrist.  His Omni-Tool had to be crushed.  He swayed on his feet and grabbed the edge of the bed.  It had all been for nothing then.  He tore clothes out of his bag.  There were more important things to focus on.  His heart pounded as he scrambled to get dressed.

 

* * *

 

He raced down the hall, body aching with each pounding footfall.  He had tried Liara’s door, but there had been no answer.  Miranda’s room had been just as empty.  The pathway to the med ward was almost autopilot at this point.  He slipped through the ward doors before they could even slid open all the way.  He didn’t bother to check in with the receptionist and just buzzed himself through the side door.

His feet pounded down the hallway to her room.  Two nurses stared at him and rushed to move out of his way.  He could see her door ahead.  The hall stood empty and silent.  A tightness squeezed his chest as he slowed coming to her door.  He slapped his palm on the open button, and the doors slid apart.

Faces around the room turned toward him.  Shepard lay still her face obscured by tubes.  A machine blinked by her head with a steady hum.  He walked in slowly.  Liara stood up from a chair by Shepard’s side.  Her cheeks glistening.  In the other chair, Miranda sat not turning with her eyes fixed on Shepard.  She brushed her face with the back of her hand before glancing over her shoulder at him.  Adams stood on crutches head hanging.  He looked away when Kaidan turned to him.  Cortez stood against the wall openly crying.  Liara’s feet tapped closer, and she put a hand on his arm, his right arm, but it didn’t seem to hurt anymore.

His breath stopped.  He walked up to Shepard’s bed.  An IV dripped, machines clicking around him.  Her chest steadily rose and fell with each balloon-liked expansion and collapse of the machine next to her.  Her heart rate traced on the screen over her head, each artificial beat blipping perfectly evenly timed.  Her hand iced his fingertips as touched the coarse skin.  He drew his hand back and turned to Miranda.

Purple crested under her hooded eyes.  Red colored her nose, and her mouth pulled down at the edges.  She sniffed, elbows resting on the armrests, and leaned her face into the palm of her hand.  She rubbed a twisted tissue between the fingers of her other hand.  She didn’t look at him.

Liara twisted her fingers on the top of her empty chair. When she glanced up and met his eye, a tear slid down the track on her cheek.  She didn’t brush it away, just held his eyes.

He turned back to Shepard.  He touched her hair and ran a hand down her arm.  Her cold fingers slipped limply between his as their hands interlocked, and he looked up at her face.  The air rushed out of him.  His fingers pulled away as he backed up and stood shoulder to shoulder with Liara, her skin warm against his arm.  He bent his head listening to her jagged breaths, the blipping monitor, and the inflating balloon.  No one spoke.  After a while, Miranda pushed up from her chair sniffling.  She hung her head as she slinked to the door.  It slid open with a hiss.  She hesitated not looking at anyone.

“Not tonight.  Tomorrow morning,” she said.

Kaidan’s eyes burned on Shepard’s face covered with tubes as machines hummed and moved keeping her alive.  The only thing keeping her alive.  One by one they left.  Cortez.  Adams.  He and Liara stood a long time until she finally touched his arm and left.  A nurse came in and eyed him as she moved equipment, took vitals, and entered the information into a screen on the one of the monitors.  Kaidan stepped back and left.

 

* * *

 

Stale air hung in the amphitheater.  The same drifting dust caught in the murky light.  Kaidan breathed through his dry mouth looking out from the balcony’s shadows.  The metal wall chilled his cheek as he slouched on the bench watching the air turn in the atrium beyond the waist-high balcony wall.  He blinked unfocused in the dark stillness.

Footsteps tapped lightly, echoing louder until Liara came around the hallway corner with sagging shoulders.  She sank down next to him on the bench.  Her breath fell into rhythm with his, slow and long.  She folded her hands in her lap and hung her head staring at them.  Kaidan’s voice came out dusty and dry when he spoke.

“How long?”

Liara didn’t look up.  “Three days.”

“Three days.”

Liara nodded weakly.  “Sedated so your arm could set.  You were discharged.  We left you to wake up.”

Kaidan exhaled sharply and looked at the pale light beaming down from an upper story.  The coolness of the metal against his face contrasted to the warmth of Liara against his other side.  She turned to him.

“We waited for you.”

“Waited.”  Kaidan swallowed.

“Yes.” Liara’s voice caught.

Kaidan’s eyes shifted to her face, but he didn’t move.  She gazed at the floor and drew in a snorky breath.  A rag spread open by Kaidan’s foot drew her eyes, and her brow drew tight.  She bent down and skimmed a hand over the broken bits of metal flattened and twisted.

“Your Omni-Tool?”

“What’s left of it,” Kaidan whispered.

Liara stared at him.  “You can’t …”

“No.”

She leaned back.  “I’m sorry.”

Kaidan looked back out at the auditorium.

“The Alliance ran ballistics,” Liara said.  “The bullet that killed Commander Anchor.  They’ve removed his name from the victims list.  They know Shepard shot him.”

“Good.”

Kaidan listened to her breathing.

“We found the code,” he mumbled.

Liara’s eyes widened.  “That’s—”

“It’s destroyed.”  Kaidan nudged the rag with his boot.

“Oh.”

“Not that it even … in the scheme of things,” he said.

“The man that attacked you …”

“Yeah?”

“He’s the one that shot Ursul?”

 Kaidan raised his head.  “What?  Who else? Me?”

Liara’s eyes grew big.  “I don’t think that.  Just, I think the station security—”

“Let them look into it,” Kaidan growled and leaned his face back against the wall.  “The only one I shot was that surgeon … biotic.”

“She wasn’t actually a—”

“Figured.”

“Ursul’s alive.  Critical condition.  They think the asari that attacked you was the same assassin that killed the primarch.  Miranda said she thought—”

“I don’t care,” Kaidan said.  “Let’s not talk about it.”

Liara nodded slowly. “Very well.”

Kaidan lifted a hand to his face and touched his jaw.  Nothing felt painful anymore, maybe just in contrast.  Emotional pain felt more potent than physical.  If only there were pills for that pain too.  Though, maybe some actually did use pills.  Or alcohol.  Or whatever else people turned to for relief.

Kaidan touched the rag again with his boot.  “I saw it.”

“What?”

“The code.  It worked.  I tried it on one of QEC messages.”

“You already read the decoded messages then?”

“No,” Kaidan said.  “I just checked it.  I didn’t have time to … anyway, it’s destroyed.  I read through the code, but it’s too complicated to remember.”

Liara sat taller and twisted to look at him. “You read the code?”

Kaidan grunted affirmatively staring off.

“All the way through?”

“Twice, but it’s too long.”

“And this was all before the … accident?”

“Accident?” Kaidan turned his head and gaped at her.  “An accident?”

“You didn’t want to talk about it …”

“No, I don’t.”  He settled his face against the wall again.

“So … how long?”

“How long what?”

“Since you read the code?”

“Maybe an hour before the … ‘accident.’”

“Then, you’re sure you looked it all over?  Looked over it well?”

Kaidan sat upright.  “Not well enough to remember it, so not really.”

 Liara turned in her seat to face him.  “I can find it.”

Kaidan frowned and eyed her.  “Find it where?”

Liara nodded at him with her eyes on his forehead.  “In there …”

Kaidan stood up.  “No.”

Liara stood too.  “Kaidan—”

“No way, Liara.”

“But …”

“No.”

He scooped up the rag full of broken pieced and folded it.  Liara touched his hand, and he looked up.

“Why not?  I’ve done it with Shepard.  Several times.  She always seemed fine, didn’t she?”

Kaidan shrugged.  “You can’t find something I don’t remember.”

“Yes, I can,” Liara said.  “Right now I can.  Another day, every hour … less.  But it’s been relatively recent.”

“Three days recent?” Kaidan snorted and stuffed the rag into his pocket.

“Three days sedated, no new memories crowding in.  It’s recent.  I could find it for you, Kaidan.”

Suddenly, a thought crossed Kaidan’s mind.  He looked at her.

“Liara, with Shepard, have you tried …”

“It doesn’t work that way.”  Liara dropped her head and shook it.  “She … you can’t force it.  You have to be let in.  An unconscious person can’t let you in.”

“Oh.”  Kaidan bit a lip.

Liara watched him silently.  Kaidan gazed back at her.

“If …”

“I won’t force you, Kaidan.  I’m only offering.  You can recover some of what you lost.”

Kaidan took a deep breath gaze shifting around the room.  Nothing really mattered anymore.  Everything felt hollow and dismembered, burned away, but he might regret it later.  Shepard wanted bigger things.  She’d said that the day they’d had coffee in Vancouver.  If it could save someone, keep the Council safe, that’s what she would want.  He might give up, but that wasn’t her.  He looked over at Liara.

“Okay.”

Liara nodded and stepped closer.  He swallowed staring back at her

“Just relax.”

Their eyes held each other.  Kaidan’s throat tightened with shallow breaths.  Liara frowned.

“Kaidan.  You’re too tense.”

She grabbed his face.  He flinched for a moment, but the light touch of her hands on his jaw didn’t hurt.  Liara drew his face closer until he felt her warm breath.  He wanted to pull back, but she held his face and spread her thumbs to the corners of his mouth.

“Relax.  Just breath slowly.  Close your eyes.”

Kaidan closed his eyes.  Breathing.

“Embrace eternity.”

A wave washed over him.  He reeled inside.  A glow spread over him as if just skimming his skin, but so close it moved the hair on his arms.  Liara was there, a warmth and familiarity tainted with sorrow mirroring his own.  It was a breath away but apart.  Numbers, letters, strings of words drew out of him like a chill.  Calm sunshine bloomed just above the icy turbulence.  He stretched out and grazed it.  Emotions and thoughts rippled out from his fingertips as he drew back.  A glow of warmth and stillness, understanding, and release faded off his icy skin.  Frost engulfed him again in a dark, churning storm.  Alone.  That sense of Liara though -- softness and warmth and hope.  To feel better or less worse, he reached out to it.  An influx of relief felt like catching his breath a stream of thoughts, feelings, and something deeper trickled into him.  The taste of Liara, who she really was, diffused through him, warmed him in vibrance and color.  He strained further to it, and it engulfed him.

A swell of serenity, euphoria, belonging wrapped through him.  Liara.  He could feel her emotions as they intertwined with his -- sorrow and hope.  Loneliness, loss, desperation seeping away under the soft rush of tenderness, warmth, and peace.  It spread deeper enveloping everything.  Liara’s senses, memories, thoughts, feelings embraced his.  He wasn’t alone.

He saw it then – Thessia; a home; and Benezia, sometimes so caring, so wise, so inspiring, but then cruel and strong; a childhood and studies; excitement and youth; fascination and reward; Prothean ruins; different planets; different research groups; the archeological finds; the adventure and mysteries.  It rushed through him.  And Shepard -- their meeting, brushing minds, moments of smiles and sadness, good and bad.  Longing, wistfulness, loss.  The memory quivered around him.  He saw himself.  He stood next to Liara and looked up meeting his own eyes.

His life brightened into memories and wove through them – Vancouver, his parents, sister, family, growing up by the ocean.  Jump Zero and Vyrnus, Rhana -- the grief and rage of everything, an old regret.  His enlisting, training, missions.  Anderson.  Shepard.  Meeting her, impressed and dazed, intimidated.  The love, desire, hope, and emptiness.  Their night before Ilios.  The burning ship and safety pods.  Rescued and seeing Joker crawl out of the safety pod by himself.  Despair, conflict, and regret.  Horizon, Mars, the standoff on the Citadel -- scabs picked from a wound but soothed and eased away. He saw himself and Shepard at Apollo’s café.  The surge of joy.  Then back on the Normandy – staggering, fumbling, panting as they tumbled through her cabin door, his mouth on hers, desperate. 

Memories came and went, ebbing and flowing, opening, expanding.  Still deeper and brighter, folding out in an exhilarating rapture of oneness.  No sense of where she began or he ended.  Pain washing away like a memory in a frenzied elation of relief and comfort.  Stretching, aching, expanding more and more, deeper thoughts, deeper feelings, deeper memories.  He felt them, his own and hers all around them. 

Was his heart pounding in the real world?  Was it hers?  He couldn’t tell.  Did it matter?  The feel of her fingertips holding his face, the softness of the skin, just a shade warmer.  Breathing each other’s breath.  More memories flared up from the recesses, deeper until there was nothing left but sunlight, every shadow dissolving.  Deeper.  A memory broke free, the details falling in around them.  He was back there again -- Anderson’s and then Shepard’s apartment.

_Darkness shrouded the apartment.  The Citadel lights cast shadows through the window blinds as flames danced in the fireplace.  He and Shepard sat on the couch they’d pulled in front of the fireplace, their conversation fallen into silence._

Kaidan reeled back from the memory, but it was already unfurling and smothering over him.

_His arms rested across the top of the couch.  Shepard’s head rested in his lap with her fingers intertwined across her stomach.  He studied the firelight on her face as she watched the flames.  It was everything normal.  What life should be except for this.  What life would never be.  Not for them.  He touched her hair, and she looked up.  His heart stopped.  A watery reflection looked back at him.  He’d never seen her cry.  It was the only time._

_He brushed the tear away with his fingertip.  She rubbed the back of her hand across her face and sat up, then stood and walked off.  Kaidan bent forward and folded his hands in front of him watching the fire.  After some time, he stood up._

_She was in the upstairs bathroom hunched over the sink, arms bracing on the counter.  The faint glow of the green jacuzzi button was the only light in the darkness.  He walked over.  His palm rested into the sunken space between her shoulder blades, and her eyes squeezed shut.  She cupped a hand over her mouth as he pulled her close.  After a moment, she clenched a fistful of his shirt, twisting it as her face turned and pressed into his chest.  Strands of her hair stuck to his jaw as he leaned his cheek into her hair and closed his eyes.  The warm, tight, close feel of her made his heart slow as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo.  The faucet dripped, the only other sound than their breathing._

_She drew her head back.  The soft light cast everything in an emerald shade.  It reflected off her eyes as they searched his.  She kissed him softly.  The briny taste of tears mixed on their lips.  Slow and gentle, she kissed him as her palms flattened on his chest.  It was tender, and Shepard was rarely tender._

_Only twice did she say she loved him, and then, only when everything accelerated out of control and they were certain to be dead in the space of days.  She’d said it then.  But it was here, in the low light kissing tenderly, tasting tears, that he knew she loved him.  He’d already loved her for so long._

The pain and loss of it swelled out of the memory.  Pain and despair inflated.  The memory shattered.  It exploded into pieces spraying out, sharp and cutting, slicing into every corner of his mind.  Comfort shredded with the eruption and collapsed in the upheaval of an aftershock.  Liara, the emotions, the memories, the release and warmth, glow of togetherness and harmony, ecstasy and rapture, not knowing where he began and she ended -- all of it burst and tore apart.

Kaidan drew in a sharp gasp, and his eyes snapped open wide.  Liara’s breath caught as the inkiness in her eyes constricted into pupils.  Her hands still held his face, and she blinked at him as she caught her breath.

“You’re trembling,” she whispered.

His throat tightened, and he stepped back letting her hands drop away from his face.

“What the hell just happened?”

He steadied his breathing and stared back at her.  Her dewy eyes studied him, searching his.  She reached a shaky hand to him, but he stumbled back another step.

“Kaidan …”

He shook his head, mouth tightening, and ran a hand over his face slick with cold sweat.  The shadow between Liara’s brows deepened.  She stepped forward.  Kaidan retreated.

“Kaidan …”

“I need to go.”

He avoided her eye and brushed around her.  He plunged down the dark hallway behind her, and made an effort to keep to a walk.  After he rounded the corner, he gave in and ran.


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter 31**

Kaidan slinked into Shepard’s room.  It was empty.  Probably too early for anyone to be awake.  He pulled a chair over and sat in a heap.  Heat radiated from his face, heart still pounding, as he hunched forward and hung his head.  His fingertips pressed into his eyelids, and he listened to the beeping heart monitor and the pull and push of the respirator.  He sucked in a shaky breath and lifted his head to look at her.  The rag of Omni-Tool pieces bulged in his pants’ pocket.  He pulled it out and wadded it as he stood up.  He hurled it across the room.  It hit the wall above the trash spraying pieces of metal across bouncing off the counters and across the tiled floor.

Air hissed as he forced it out through his teeth then drew in a watery breath.  He covered the bottom of his face with his hands.  He looked over the fingertips on the bridge of his nose and watched her chest rise and fall.  She was dead.  Dead already.  The last step probably shouldn’t even matter.  Blood and breath didn’t make someone alive, thought and feeling did.  Everything between them was written now.  It was the end then, and even the memories would fade and becoming rewritten with each misremembrance, and the things he was so desperate to hold onto would slip between his fingers and never be like they were even in a memory.

He squeezed his eyes shut.  The memories between them, even the most private, he’d given away like nothing.  He felt sick with himself.  He’d given himself over to it raw and complete.  It felt like betrayal, and rationalizing wasn’t helping.  He’d done nothing wrong, but if he believed that, this guilt shouldn’t still be hemorrhaged in his chest.  He released a shuddery breath and dropped his hands from his face.  

He picked up her wrist.  His thumb rubbed the back of her hand tracing a blue vein branching under the pale skin.  The air had crackled when their mass effect fields touched.  The tingle would race under his skin thrilling every nerve ending and leaving his heart throbbing in his chest with a shiver.  It was unlike anything he’d felt.  Touching another biotic that way … well, he didn’t want to again.

Dark energy rippled over his skin and spread down his arm, his hand, his fingertips.  The dull skin of her hand fizzed against his glowing hand.  He let the energy slid out from his fingertips and slip out across her skin.  The barrier spread up her arm, across her chest, and covered her.  He had nowhere near her skill for barriers.  He never could have wrapped an imploding shuttle, not for any length of time to hold in an explosion, but he could wrap another person in a barrier.  It danced, rippling blue over her skin and encasing her in an undulating field of static flowing out from his fingers.  He dropped it, her skin faded back to a chalky white, and the room dimmed.

He drew the chair closer, touching hand, and sat.  If only her face wasn’t so lost in medical tubing.  The wish jolted him.  He’d get his wish in the morning -- see her face again -- as they took away her last breath.  It would feel like his last breath.

Blue flashed.  Kaidan sat up as his eyes cleared.  The room looked normal -- same machines clicking, same night-cycle-dimmed florescence overhead.  His vision had burst into blue for instant though.  He’d felt the static.  He whipped his head around scooting the edge of his chair.  The door was closed.  He was alone.  No biotic assassin lurked in the corner.  It wasn’t a migraine aura.  Perhaps it was a side effects from what had happened with Liara.  Maybe something was finally happening with his L2 implant.  All the stress or the combination of everything, and it was finally happening.  It came again.

He shot to his feet tipping the chair over.  It clattered at his feet as his heart raced.  Another burst of blue.  Surgical instruments rattled on their metal tray near the foot of the bed.  Kaidan inched forward staring at them.  Another wave came.  They glowed rising for an instant then clattering back onto the tray wobbling from the drop.  Blue didn’t flash, it flared shinning all around him.  Pieces of gauze and tissue floated from the trash can against the wall.  A hand towel lifted from the ring by the sink.  The metal bits of his Omni-Tool clinked across the floor.  The rag lifted spilling residual pieces into the air.  The hair lifted on his arm and crackled across his skin.  His head snapped to Shepard.  She glowed.  The blue light went out. It faded off the surfaces and drained from Shepard’s skin.

Kaidan stumbled backward.  He spun around and scrambled to the door.  The family conference room they’d been using was just down the hallway.  He skidded to a stop in front of it, and fell through the door.  He saw who he was looking for.  Miranda leaned against the wall head hanging and a datapad dangling limping at her side. 

“Miranda!”

“It’s fine.  I’m just tired.”  She waved him off and rubbed her face.

He grabbed her arm and tugged her to the door. 

“What the hell?” she hissed wrenching her arm free.

“Come here.  Please.”

She must have seen something in his face, because her eyes widened..  She motioning for him to lead the way.  She stumbled into to Shepard’s room behind him.

“What?” She said as rolled her head looking around the room.  “What’s so—”

Blue flared around the room.  It held in one long flare like before, and Miranda’s eyes grew larger as gravity shifted around them.  The light faded, and the surgical tools dropped from high enough, they bounced and rolled onto the floor.  Miranda licked her lips and stared around them.  She rushed to a green button at Shepard’s bedside and smashed it down.  Kaidan shifted watching as another wave rolled over them and faded away.  The door opened, and a nurse came running in.

“Get her down to the STK scanner.  Right now!” Miranda barked.

The nurse frowned.  Her mouth opened.  The wave came again, and the nurse gasped.  Miranda motioned her away.  She scrambled around the corner, footsteps slapping down the hall.

“What’s going on, Miranda?”

“Shhh.”

Miranda peered at the monitors and felt Shepard’s wrist. He stepped closer. 

“Tell me.”

“I don’t know!” she roared as blue flared over them.

The door opened again.  The nurse he’d just seen entered with another woman.  It was one of the doctors he’d met earlier

 Miranda stood back. “We need to—”

Shepard gasped and started to choke.  Kaidan rushed forward, but Miranda raised a hand up chest-level to hold him back.  She pointed at Shepard’s face.

“Extubate her.”

“But …”

“Now!”

The nurse looked over at the doctor.  The doctor narrowed her eyes at Miranda but set down a clipboard and motioned the nurse to move the head of the bed.  Another blue wave flared over them.  It felt like they were coming faster and lasting longer.  The nurse yelped yanking her hand back from the bed’s metal frame.

“Hurry up.” Miranda rushed to the head of the bed.  She leaned over the side of Shepard’s head opposite the doctor and helped.  “Here.”

Kaidan angled to see.  They unhooked the hose and tilted Shepard’s head back.  The nurse tapped a button on the respirator.  It exhaled slowly then went still.

“The tubes,” Miranda grunted.  “Are you going to help me?”

The doctor nodded vigorously and lifted a metal instrument from the nurse’s hand.  Miranda snapped shouting direction as she huddled next to the doctor.  They leaned over Shepard shinning a light down her throat.  Kaidan strained to see around their hands.  The nurse just stared with rounded eyes at the hair on her arms as another blue wave flared over them.

“Is this harmful?” Kaidan asked.

The waves were coming so fast now.  Soon there wouldn’t be a break between them.

“I don’t know!” Miranda roared glaring back at him.

Kaidan took a literal step back and waited.  Miranda lifted the tube out with a gurgling pop.  The doctor took it from Miranda’s hand.  Miranda put a palm on Shepard’s chest and looked down at her face.  Her face stood still, skin sickly, and eyes tapped shut.

“Come on,” Miranda muttered.

Her hand didn’t raise on Shepard’s chest.  No movement.  The nurse caught the doctor’s eye and chewed on her bottom lip.

“Come one,” Miranda hissed.

Shepard’s pale lips tinged.  Another wave rolled over the but slower, and it didn’t reach through the whole room.  The light dropped immediately without holding.  Kaidan’s heart pounded, feet shifting.  Miranda yanked her hand back and snapped her fingers at the doctor.

“We’re intubating her again!”

“But …”

“Now!”

The doctor and nurse scrambled as they fumbled with the tubes and pulled the machine back over.  Kaidan swallowed hard stepping further back out of the way.  Miranda twisted away from the bed exhaling loudly and shouted at them. 

Shepard gasped.  The intubation tube dropped out of the nurse’s hands.  A shiver ran down Kaidan’s spine.  Miranda spun around and put a hand on Shepard’s chest again.  Another breath.  Miranda’s palm rose on her chest.  Miranda gawked at it then looked over at Kaidan eyes wide.  Her smile grew until even her teeth peeked out.

Kaidan stumbled forward.  Miranda grabbed his hand and placed the palm where hers had been.  It rose with a breath, too weak to see with his eyes, too fragile to risk even resting the full weight of his hand on her chest.  But it was there.  He felt it rise again.  A sickly gray still dulled her face, but the blue tinge was fading.  She breathed in again.  Miranda leaned over and peeled the tape off her eyes with shaky fingers.

“Damn.”  Miranda flicked her shivery hands before reaching out again and pulling off the last piece.

Kaidan exhaled a loud breath through his teeth then drew in a sharp breath.  It felt like the first breath after paddles shocked the heart back into beating.  His sore jaw clenched, and he blinked rapidly drawing his hand back.

“We need to get her down to the scanner!” Miranda snapped.

Blue flared again them again.  Kaidan moved aside as Miranda and the doctor shoved the bed past him.  The nurse ran alongside pushing the squealy-wheeled IV pole.  His eyes caught a glimpse of Shepard’s face before as they turned her out the door.  Wheels squealed and pounding footsteps faded down the hall until the hospital room’s doors slid shut cutting it off.  Kaidan covered his face with both hands drawing in hitching breaths and sank to his haunches.  He stayed like that for a long time.

 

* * *

 

“She’s sedated.”  Miranda walked up to him in the hallway.

Kaidan swallowed and tried his voice.  “Is she going to …”

“Yes.”  A smile split her face and wrinkled her eyes.  “Kaidan, I--I don’t even know…”  She shook her head and laughed.  “Damn.  I can’t believe this.”

Kaidan drew a sharp breath.  “I thought …”

“I know.”

Miranda paced still shaking her head.  Wheels squeaked at the end of the hall.  The nurse from earlier pushed Shepard’s bed toward them.  Miranda leaned into Kaidan’s vision.

“She’ll need to be sedated for a while.  Her brain activity is improved, normal even, but that biotic hyperactivity … things needs to settle down and heal.”

“She’ll be all right?”

“Yes.  I already said that.”

Miranda opened the door to Shepard’s room.  The nurse sped up and pushed the bed inside.  Kaidan followed Miranda inside.  An IV dripped at Shepard’s side and she had a nasal cannula on, but she looked better already.  Maybe it was just removing the ventilator or the bias from hearing Miranda say she would be all right.  Miranda said she would be all right.  Kaidan repeated it again.  Those words had seemed long past being possible.

“I don’t understand it,” Miranda said standing beside him and shaking her head.  “I can’t figure it out.”

“What?” he asked.

“What changed.”

Kaidan gazed at Shepard.  He cleared his throat.

“Could a mass effect field have done anything?” he asked.

Miranda pinched her eyebrows together.  “That she was able to create those fields meant something had changed in her, not visa versa.”

Kaidan shifted.  “Yeah, I know that.”

Miranda’s lips twisted skeptically.  She walked to Shepard’s bed, and Kaidan came up behind her.

“I put a barrier over her,” Kaidan said.  “Could that have done something?”

Miranda pivoted to look at him.  “What?  Why the hell would you do that?”

“I don’t know.  I just … I just did.”

“Just did?” she repeated flatly.

Kaidan waited.  “Well?”

“I don’t know.”  She turned back to Shepard thinking for a long time.  “I guess it’s possible.  After I replaced the implant, it didn’t fire.  She wasn’t conscious to activate it.  All the electrical activity just continued spiraling out of control.  Now her brains looks how, in theory, it should have looked if the surgery worked.  The barrier may have activated the implant somehow.  The L3’s been able to reset everything.”

“Reset everything?” Kaidan repeatedly darkly.

Miranda frowned at him.  “Brain function.  Not who she is, memories, or anything like that, Kaidan.”

The nurse checked the IV bag then stacked tubes on top the ventilator.  Miranda leaned over Shepard’s face, turned her Omni-Tool light on, and lifted up an eyelid.  She checked the second eye then turned off the light.  She shot a look back at Kaidan.

“Is Liara coming?”

Kaidan blinked.  “Oh.  You thought I …”

“I’ve been reading the scans and arranging everything.” Miranda turned to him. “What have you been doing?”

Kaidan frowned.  He glanced around.

“Where’s a terminal?” he asked before his eyes stopped on the terminal in the corner.  Kaidan strode over to it.  “I’ll message everyone.”

“Good idea.” Miranda rolled her eyes and felt Shepard’s wrist.  “It’s been over an hour, Kaidan.  Other people care about her too, you know.”

Kaidan gave a long sigh.  “Come on, Miranda.”

She smirked over at him, watched her Omni-Tool for a beat, and then dropped Shepard’s wrist.

“I forgot about your Omni-Tool,” she said.

Kaidan peered at the terminal’s welcome screen.  “You’ll have to log me in.”

“Forget about it.  I’ll message them.”

Kaidan gave a heavy shrug. “Fine.”

Shepard’s chest rose and fell softly eyelids twitching.  A paleness washed out her face, but she looked alive again.

“How long will she be sedated?” He walked to the side of her bed.

“A couple of days,” Miranda said wandering away keying in a message on her Omni-Tool.  “We’ll see how the implant settles in.”

Kaidan touched Shepard’s hand and looked up at her face.  He would look into her eyes again and hear her voice.  An hour ago, those things had been condemned to memory.  Now, they’d meet again.  Miranda caught his eye and returned his smile.  Shepard lived.


	70. Part 3: Burning Barriers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 (heavy Shenko): The Council Summit is days away. For Commander Shepard and Kaidan Alenko, so is the destruction of everything they've sacrificed to save. A nuclear weapon is missing, and Terra Firma members are amassing in Vancouver. There are rumors of an attack and, for the first time, Shepard and Kaidan are one step ahead of the Scorpion. But everything may not be as it seems and some pieces just don't fit. With the clock winding down, they'll have to work together if there's any chance of winning. Working together may be the hardest part.

**Burning Barriers**

**Part 3**

**Chapter 1**

 

“I agreed to it.   I’ll stick to what I said.”  Kaidan leaned forward on the desk in his room on Jump Zero. 

Taccus’s image flickered in the terminal’s hologram.  It had been a few days since he’d seen the Spectre and Shepard’s condition had turned the corner.  It felt like a lifetime ago.  Taccus sneered and released a hiss.

“Alenko, your word is worth nothing.”

“I agree, Taccus.  I’ve devalued it, but I don’t mean for it to be worthless.”

“You’re going to do whatever the hell you want to do anyway.  You want some sort of blessing?  You’re not getting one.”

Kaidan sat back.  “Fine.  I’ll do what we agreed.  Ursul is unavailable.  I’ll stay away.”

Taccus narrowed his eyes and folded his arms.  “There’s no accountability.  Do what you want to do.”

Kaidan stifled a growl.  He couldn’t expect any different though.  If their roles were reversed, Kaidan would trust him as much as Taccus was trusting Kaidan now, which wasn’t much.

“How’s the jaw?” Taccus asked.

Kaidan reaching up to touch it but stopped himself.  Taccus watched him wryly.

“Uh … good.  Thanks for asking.”

Taccus snorted and dropped his arms.  “Look, Alenko.  I know you played some part in Ursul’s survival.  I regret sending her after you.  But, regardless of that and despite Commander Vega’s unexpected ballistics recovery supporting your theory of events, despite all that … the situation hasn’t changed.  Don’t compromise things.  Shepard needs to be questioned before anyone muddles her testimony with outside details, not just you but anyone.  It’s immensely unfortunate that Ursul isn’t there to head things.  As is, we’ll make due with comms and the Alliance Internal Security detectives.  Do what you want, Alenko.  I can’t stop you, but that’s where I stand on it.”

Kaidan frowned.  “I wouldn’t have contacted you if I planned to just do whatever I wanted, Taccus, but I see where you’re coming from.  I get it.  I leave tomorrow anyway.”

Taccus shrugged.  “Whatever you say, Alenko.  We done?”

“We’re done.”

Taccus paused.  “Commander Vega recovered the Mass Effect shard too.”

“I heard.”

“Hmm,” Taccus looked at him.  “Good timing.  He said he found it in the Normandy’s cargo bay.  A few hours, it could have gone out with the waste outside Gagarin.”

“Fortunate.”

“Extremely,” Taccus said.  “I bet Commander Vega will have that recovery on his record.  Probably get good credit for it.”

Kaidan shrugged.  “As he should.”

Taccus eyed him and then straightened.  “See you back on Earth then.”  He reached forward and his image flicked off.

Kaidan stood.  He grabbed a datapad from the desk and snatched a couple shirts off the floor.  His bag gaped open half packed on the foot of his bed.  Kaidan stuffed more clothes and an extra pair of boots into the bag, half zipped it, and dropped it on the floor.

He couldn’t see Shepard then.  It was just as well.  He was leaving in the morning on the Balmoral anyway.  Shepard was still sedated, but Miranda had started to wean her off.  Kaidan let out a long sigh.  Still, he was disappointed.  She was alive though.  He could see her later.  There wasn’t any harm in waiting besides straining his patience.  It was a good problem to have.  A problem he’d have given anything to have and now he did.

He checked the time on the terminal in his room and paced.  He’d already talked to the Council.  The Alliance investigators had cross examined him twice over the attack at the warehouse.  Kaidan had already checked in on Ursul.  She was resting both times but looked good, if he could tell what did and didn’t look healthy for a turien.  

Kaidan had gone through the asari assassin’s things.  The Alliance investigators had watched as he looked through her luggage, messages, and datapads.  She was really was the mercenary assassin and poisoner that had killed the primarch and behind those other hits, but aside from confirming that there wasn’t anything of tremendous use.  There weren’t any encoded orders or clues that could lead back to her contractor.  He’d hoped to at least find a poison sample to definitively tie her to Terra Firma, but she seemed to be fresh out of Terra Firma’s cocktail of choice.  That, or it was hidden somewhere they’d maybe never find. 

A lot of resources had been used to get her here undetected.  No doubt she hadn’t intended to engage anyone openly though she’d obviously been capable.  It wasn’t like he, the prisoners, or anyone else she poisoned would be mistaken as a natural or accidental death.  If being subtle wasn’t about covering up murder, then it had to be about not being caught.  No doubt for her own sake, but probably in her employer’s interest too.  She’d mostly succeeded keeping under the radar until the risk outweighed the benefit of being covert.  She must have suspected he’d taken something off the ship and saw a good opening when he slunk into the empty warehouse.  She’d killed so many.  He was lucky to be alive. 

His sat on his bed.  His eyes moved over the gray walls, the low ceiling, and outdated metal furniture frames.  All that aside, he was here -- the endless stretches of cold, dark corridors, corroded bulkheads, and stale smelling life support system.  It still shocked him to realize he was on Jump Zero.  Now though, it had more good than bad memories.  Shepard was alive.  That memory alone eclipsed all the ghosts of past memories.

 

* * *

 

“She’s still unconscious,” Miranda said blinking dull eyes at him and covered a yawn with the back of her hand.

“Were you sleeping in here?” Kaidan stepped further into the hospital lounge.

Miranda hung over the edge of a couch leaning on a folded pillow.  She sat up.

“She weaned off the sedative two hours ago.  I want to be on hand in case …”

Kaidan slowed.  “In case of what?” He crossed his arms.

“Don’t get worked up.  It’s just _in case_.”

“Okay.  Well,” he paused, “Good night then.”  He moved back to the door.

Miranda’s head eased back onto the cushion as Kaidan left.  Long as Shepard was still out, he wasn’t breaking any promises.  He trotted to Shepard’s room.  Lighting flickered slightly overhead in the still hallway.  It was the middle of the night practically, a few hours before his scheduled departure.

Shepard’s hospital room doors parted.  She lay asleep on the bed in front of him.  Kaidan took a step in before he caught the movement by her bedside.  Liara sat on a metal chair facing the bed.  Her head turned partway to see him, profile silhouetted in the night cycle lighting.  He hesitated then walked further into the room.  Liara turned back to Shepard sitting rigidly with hands folded tightly in her lap.  Her eyes fixed on her hands as Kadian stepped up beside her.  He hadn’t seen her since Shepard’s recovery, since being together in the old Jump Zero auditorium.  Heat rose up his neck, and his heart picking up pace.  He took a deep breath.

“Hey, Liara.”  

“Hi, Kaidan.”

She didn’t look up, just spread her hands out on her skirt and studied them before refolding them on her lap again.  Kaidan crossed his arms and looked at Shepard.  Blood flushed her skin with a bright pinkness.  Each breath in and out looked strong.  She looked peaceful.

“Here.”  Liara held a datachip up in her fingertips.  She kept her eyes straight ahead on Shepard and waited for him to take it.  He hesitated then plucked it from her hand.

“The code?”

“All that I could get of it, but I think it’s almost all there.”

Kaidan turned the datachip over in his fingers.  “Thank you.”

“The chemical formula from the syringe you found, it’s there too.”

He’d forgotten about that.  The loss of the code had overshadowed everything else.

“Were you able to …”

“It’s an unknown chemical formulation.  TCM would be likely be a metabolite byproduct.  It’s a tranquilizer of some sort.”

“Tranquilizer?”

“Yes.”  She looked up for the first time.  “The amount in the syringe would only have sedated an adult human.  A much larger volume would be needed to arrest respiration.  Taken orally, it’s much more lethal.”

Kaidan nodded quietly still turning it over in his hand.  He glanced down.  She was still looking at him.  His throat clenched.  He looked away.

“Thanks.”  He stuffed it into a pocket.

“Kaidan …”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Liara.”

She looked down at her lap again.  He moved back to the wall next to the door. The metal wall cooled his back as he rested against it and crossed arms.  Liara’s profile turned to watch him for a moment then turned back to Shepard.  Heat pulsed in his face.  He was letting it get to him too much.  It was the rawness of it, the exposure of everything inside laid bare -- every intimate memory, thought, emotion, his, hers.  So close, more than intertwined.  One.  And the feelings …  His heart raced.  Maybe he should just go back to his room.

Shepard gasped.  Metal scraped on the floor as Liara lurched out of her chair.  Shepard gasped again, and Kaidan stood away from the wall.  Liara hung over her and rubbed her arm.  Shepard’s eyelashes fluttered as she squinting in the light.  She took another sharp breath.  Kaidan stumbled forward a step then stopped himself.

“Shepard?  Shepard, can you hear me?” Liara asked.

Shepard’s eyes widened then slowly slipped closed again. 

“Shepard?” Liara whispered.

Her eyes flashed open.  Her mouth opened taking loud gulps of air.  She reached a shaky hand up to cover her face.

“Are you okay?” Liara asked leaning in closer.

“I’ll get Miranda.”  Kaidan rushed to the door.

“Kaidan.”

Kaidan stopped short.  Shepard raised her head off her pillow and blinked droopily at him through her fingers.  She reached her hand out to him.  Kaidan bolted to her.  Her fingers flexed at him until he reached the side of the bed and clasped them.  The pillow cushioned around her head as she rested back.  Her hooded eyes staying on his face as they drooped shut and finally closed.  He glanced at Liara.  Light reflected in her wide eyes as she stared at him.   She turned back to Shepard, touched her face, and then stepped back.

“She’s out again, I think.”

Kaidan’s fingers tightened on her hand as her grip loosening.  The rise and fall of the blanket her chest stayed strong though.  Kaidan set her hand on the blanket by her side.

“We should get Miranda,” Kaidan said.

Liara gave a quick nod, face flat.  Kaidan looked down again touching Shepard’s temple and resting his palm against her warm cheek.  Her face turned and leaned into his hand.  It made Kaidan’s pulse pick up.  He glanced at Liara again then backed away.  He rushed to the door.  Miranda was waiting to be woken up for this.


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 2**

The lights were so bright.  Shepard squinted into the florescent ceiling lights.  Her head pounded.  Her eyes rolled around the room.  It came back in a flash -- the attack, the crossfire, the shuttle exploding, Dr. Chakwas, the turiens, her crew …  She lurched upright.  Someone pressed her shoulders back down.  Shepard frowned up at a face coming into focus.

“Shepard, settle down.  You need to take this easy.”  It was Miranda.

A blue face came up beside Miranda’s.

“Shepard, how do you feel?” Liara asked.

Shepard struggled upright on her elbows, but Miranda pressed her down again.  Shepard gave up and glared at them.  She tried her voice.  It sounded husky.

“Guys, come on.”

Miranda smirked. “’Guys, come on?’  Really, Shepard?  Your first words back from the dead for the third time.”

“What?”

Liara touched her shoulder softly.  “Shepard, you’ve been comatose for weeks.”

“Weeks,” Shepard croaked.

“You need to take it slowly,” Miranda said.  “You undo all my work, Shepard, and I _will_ install a control chip next time.”

“Miranda …”

“Just take a breath.  Slow things down,” Miranda said.

Shepard followed Miranda’s eyes to the heart rate monitor by her bed.  A hospital bed?  Damnit, not again.  She’d spent more time in a hospital bed in the last year and half than she had in a real one.

“What happened?” she asked.

Liara glanced at Miranda.  Miranda just sighed.

“Let’s get situated first, Shepard.”

“Consider me ‘situated.’”

“You don’t look situated,” Miranda said.

“What the hell do I need to do to look situated?”

The heart rate monitor beeped.  Miranda reached over and silenced it.

“You’re getting worked up.”

“You wake up from a coma.  See if you don’t get worked up.”

Miranda chuckled and shook her head.  “I’ll sedate you.  Put you right back in that coma.”

Liara put a hand on Miranda’s arm.  “This is only aggravating her further.”

“Thanks, Liara.  A voice of reason.”  Shepard’s voice sounded thin and weak.

“Shepard will feel better when she gets answers,” Liara said.

“Liara …” Shepard gave a small smile.  “See, Miranda.  Now that’s a friend.”

“Saving your life three times counts for nothing?”

Shepard glanced back and forth between them.  Finally, she let her body uncoil and sink into the bed’s cushion.

“Come on, guys,” Shepard repeated.

“Fine.”  Miranda pointed at Liara.  “If her heart rate gets over,” she thought for a moment, “170, I’m coming back with a needle.”

Shepard eyed the monitor -- 128.  She had some wiggle room for getting worked up.  If need be.  Miranda shifted out of sight, and Shepard sat up cautiously.  No one tried to shove her back down.  Miranda stood over at a terminal against the wall.

“Shepard, how do you feel?” Liara wrinkled her forehead as her eyes searching Shepard’s face.  “Is your head painful?”

“I have pain medicine,” Miranda said looking up from the monitor.

“Keep your needle away from me, Miranda,” Shepard said. 

Miranda raised an eyebrow.  “You had pain meds two hours ago.  Give it another two hours, you might be changing your tune.”

“I won’t discount that possibility.  Now, Liara,” Shepard focused on her, “what happened?”

“You don’t remember what happened?”

“I … do,” Shepard said slowly, “but what happened?  All of it.  Where’s James?  Joker? Cortez was shot.  Adams.”

Miranda tsked her tongue, hands on her hips, and nodded at the monitor.  The monitor read 151.  Shepard took a deep breath.

“Shepard, there are Alliance detectives that want to talk to you and Spectre Taccus.  I think you need to get answers from them first.”

“Detectives?”

“Not here now, of course, but when you’re ready to see them, they want to talk to you about what happened.”

“They’re not coming in right now,” Miranda said and looked over at them.  “Talk about … I don’t know.  Something soothing.”

“James, Joker, Adams, Cortez -- they’re all okay, Shepard.”

Shepard swallowed.  “Dr. Chakwas—no, nevermind.  I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Briggs, Jensen, Stofsky …”

“Here’s a list.” 

Liara picked a datapad up from the chair by her bed.  Liara pulled up a screen and held it out.  Shepard snatched it.  She skimmed through the list.  So many dead.  She pressed fingers to her temple and closed her eyes.  Damnit.

“Cortez was shot,” Shepard said lowering the datapad to her lap.

“He’s okay, Shepard.”

“Where are they?”

“They either went back or are going back.  Cortez and Adams were finally discharged.  They’re leaving soon.  Today.”

“Today?”

Liara nodded.

“They’re leaving?  What about me?”  Shepard asked.

Miranda peered over the monitor at her.  “Don’t make me laugh.”

“I’m feeling much better, Miranda.”

“Better than what?  You don’t even remember.  You were in a coma.”

“I’d say that’s the biggest step.  Coma, not in a coma.”

Miranda shook her head with a sigh.  “Give it those two hours, then we’ll see.”

Shepard stared around the room for the first time.  The walls and low ceiling felt so gray, cold, outdated.

“They’re going back?” Shepard said.  “Where am I?’

“Hospital ward on Gagarin Station,” Liara said.

“Gagarin?” Shepard frowned.  “Jump Zero.  Wait … Kaidan.  Was Kaidan here?”

Liara glanced at Miranda.  “Yes, Kaidan was here.”

“Then, where is he?”

“Uh … Shepard,” Liara turned back to her.  “He’s leaving with Cortez, Adams, and some of the others.  Returning to Earth.”

“Leaving,” Shepard said.  “Not left?”

“True.”

“Well, then where the hell is he?  Had to preboard to get the good spot by the window?”

Miranda chuckled softly and smiled into her terminal as she worked.  Liara glared sideways at her.

“No,” Liara said.  “We really were told you need to speak to detectives and the Spectre before anyone can talk to you.”

“Am I hallucinating this then?  Cause it feels like I’m talk to you and Miranda.”

“We’re not Alliance or associated with the Council.”

“Ah.” Shepard sat up straighter and felt around the side of her bed for a button or lever.

“Shepard, be careful.”  Liara hovered over her.

“We can raise this?”

“Stop that.”  Miranda charged over.  “Just stop.  I’ll do it.”

Shepard turned to Liara.  “Get me a comm.”

“Shepard!” Miranda growled.

Liara paused looking to Miranda.

“My heart rate is …” Shepard turned, “140, Miranda.  A deal’s, a deal.”

“We didn’t make a deal,” Miranda pushed in a button on the side of the hospital bed.  The head of the bed raised.

“Miranda, please,” Shepard said more softly.

“Fine.”

Liara nodded slowly and rushed to pull over the terminal Miranda had been using.

“Spectre Taccus, you say?” Shepard smoothed down the front of her hospital gown.  She rested her back into a pillow and waited for Liara with the comm.

XXX

“Kaidan.”  Shepard smiled.

He shifted on his feet in the hospital doorway.  Liara ushered him the rest of the way inside.  He took a couple of halting steps then stopped in place carrying a bag over his shoulder.

“Hi, Shepard,” he said lightly and glanced around the room.

Shepard crooked her finger at him.  “Come over here.”

“Look, Shepard …”

Shepard motioned to the terminal screen on the trolley tablet at the foot of her bed.

“I know the rules -- our minder, see.”

Kaidan took a hesitant step forward to see the screen and gaped.  

Taccus sighed. “Go ahead.  I have nothing better to do.”

Kaidan frowned and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye before focusing back on Taccus.

“Taccus …”

“Alenko.  You stick to the agreement, I’ll stick to the agreement.  I agreed to a supervised visit.  So, go.  Just … let’s not take forever.”

Kaidan stood there woodenly watching Taccus.  Shepard sighed.  Slowly, Kaidan turned around dropping his bag and came over to her.  He threw another look over his shoulder at Taccus’s imagine on the monitor.  He turned back to Shepard frowning.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’ll be all right.”

Kaidan glanced back the monitor again.  Shepard snapped her fingers.

“Kaidan, hey.  Stop throwing him looks and talk to me.  I wanted to see you.”

“Sorry, Shepard.  It’s just … never mind.  How are you?”

“I’m all right.  I already answered this.”

“I’m sorry.”  He sighed and touched his forehead.

“What’s going on, Kaidan?” Shepard murmured.  Taccus stared lazily to the side.  He didn’t seem like he was straining to listen.  Shepard turned her eyes back to Kaidan and frowned.  “You’re acting like you’re the one coming out of a coma.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.  I get it.  Come on.”  She reached toward him.  He came closer, and she clasped his forearm and jiggled it.  “What’s going on?”

“Shepard, you were … I—” His eyes flickered to the side.  “Never mind.”  He gave her a half smile and sighed.  His eyes scanned her face and the smile widened.  “It’s really good to see you.”

She drew in a deep breath.  Her heart monitor beeped.  Miranda and Liara were in the corner talking not paying attention.  Heart rate 160 but going back down.  She was pumped up on IV fluids though.  Miranda was setting her up for failure hanging that liter. 

“Are you really doing okay?” he asked.

She frowned.  “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

“Really?” He cocked his head.

“Really,” Shepard said.  “If I didn’t feel all right, I would hedge it.  Say something like ‘I’ve been worse.’”

“Unless you haven’t been worse.”

“I’ve been dead.  There’s always going to a ‘been worse.’”

He nodded and gave a light smile.  “Okay.  Long as death is your reference for ‘been worse’ and not my cooking.”

“If that kills me one day, it will be.”

“One day?” Kaidan folded his arms.  “You’re going to let me cook for you again one day?”

“Sure.  Why not?” Shepard said.  “I ate some of James’s half-recalled, alcohol-fueled family recipes aboard the Normandy.  My standards aren’t high.”

Kaidan shrugged gently.  “I don’t know.  Seemed pretty high at the time, I recall.”

“You said you like a challenge.”

“I do.”

He leaned against the bed.  Dark smudges crested under his eyes and there was a red, scuffed texture to his face.

“You scared me, Shepard,” he said quietly.

Shepard shrugged and forced a smile.  “Comes with the job.”

“Heard C-Sec is hiring some dictation jobs. You'd get your own cubicle.”

Shepard’s cheeks indented.  Her fingers interlocked on her lap.  "That so?”

“Probably let you have a fish bowl.”

“Tempting,” Shepard said.  “I think you’re underestimating the risks of carpal tunnel though.”

“Right …” He grinned softly, then gave a wistful sigh.  “If I have to visit one more friend in the hospital with carpal tunnel …”

Shepard pursed her lips.  Smart ass. 

“All these friends you visit for carpal tunnel,” Shepard said, “You didn't  bring them balloons or a teddy bear either?”

Kaidan shrugged.  “Couldn’t find the Jump Zero giftshop.  You wouldn’t want that stuff anyway, and hospital policy’s pretty firm against bow-wrapped pistols.”

“What does the policy say about bow-wrapped shotguns?”

“You know,” Kaidan tipped his head as if considering, “the policy specifically said ‘bow-wrapped pistols.’  So, I’m thinking, a bow-wrapped shotgun must be okay.”

Shepard grinned at him. Warmth welled in her chest.  His hands were tucked under the fold of his arms.  It would feel good to pull his arm away and hold his hand on hers.  Taccus’s image on the holoscreen readjusted in his chair.  He stared down at a datapad.  Shepard's eye drifted back to Kaidan's folded away hands. It would only confuse Kaidan though if she did it.  Shepard tightened her interlocked fingers, nails digging into the back of her hands.  She didn’t need skin contact like a newborn. 

Her eyes moved to his chest.  She frowned.  “Where’s your uniform?”

He glanced down.  “I’m here as a civilian.”

“Just a detour to check on me?”

“Yeah … but, also … hmm.”  He rubbed a hand roughly down his chin then looked back at her.  He dropped his arm.  “I’m suspended.”

“Suspended?” Shepard’s eyes flew wide.  She pushed up straighter in her bed.

Kaidan put a hand out to calm her.  “No, it’s all right.”

“All right?  Damnit, Kaidan.  Suspended?  You’re serious?”

Kaidan’s face hardened.  He nodded.  “Yeah.”

“How’s that all right?”

Kaidan gave a limp shrug and shook his head.  “I don’t know.  Maybe it’s not, and I just want it to be.”

“Suspended?” Shepard repeated.

Kaidan focused on the floor.  His frown deepened as he absently rubbed an arm.  Now she’d done it. 

“I’m sure it will get straightened out,” Shepard rushed to say.  “What happened?”

He shook his head and didn’t speak for a moment, eyes still on the floor.

“I did something stupid.”  His voice came out low, and Shepard sat forward to hear him.  “I don’t know.  I confronted Admiral Wilson.  I didn’t think it through enough.  I approached it … wrong.”

“It’s over insubordination?”

“Yes,” he said weakly and spared a glance up at her.

“Damn.  I never would have—it will get straightened out,” Shepard said firmly.  “That’s not you.  You’re not insubordinate.”

“I don’t know.  In the context they want to see it in, I was.  But I …”  He swallowed.  “It doesn’t matter.”

It did matter, but she wasn’t going to point it out.  He was probably well aware of that without her voicing it.  He was all cast down now, that little rain cloud above his head.  She shouldn’t have acted so shocked, but she’d been shocked.

“Kaidan.  Anyone who knows you, knows you’re not that.”  He met her eye.  “What do they know? The Alliance brass aren’t like before.  Many of them aren’t professional military men hardened by experience in the field.  They didn’t rise in rank through with an exemplary service record and recommendations from respected men.”

“Some of them did.  Flight Admiral Dumas served in Parliament before the invasion.”

“And sat on his ass during the war.  Maybe not his choice, I’ll give him that much.  Still, don’t take what they say to heart, okay?  And don’t double guess yourself.  It’ll get straightened out.”

He exhaled sharply, then nodded. “Okay.”

Shepard’s fingers picked at the edge of her coarse blanket.

“Kaidan,” she said.  “I have to know though.  Did this thing with Admiral Wilson, did it have to do with me?”

“It had to do with the Normandy and the crew and … you.  It wasn’t because of you though.”

Her fingers curled up a fistful of the blanket on her lap.  Her nails dug through the thin material into her palm. 

Kaidan's brow indented.  He glanced at her heart rate monitor, then leaned forward and touched her shoulder.  “It’s not your fault, Shepard.”

Shepard held a tight smile and slowed her breathing.  “If you say so.”

“I mean it.  It didn’t—”

“Okay.  I believe you.”  She looked away.

“Shepard …”

She didn't look back at him.  When she’d met him, he’d been a marine for years -- decorated, skilled, competent, tactful, brimming with desire to help and do good, full of aspirations and goals.  Since then he’d actualized into so much more, and it had been noticed.  She had worried the Alliance would derail his career because of her, punish him to punish her.  But maybe the Alliance wasn't the real threat.  When it came to her, it was Kaidan himself. 

On Horizon, he'd said he was an Alliance soldier, always be.  He knew where his priorities lay.  Maybe he was losing his way though.  She wouldn’t let him lose what was important, what he'd worked for, who he was. In the end, feelings come and go, life brings people close and draws them away, everything fades and gets lost under layers of passing time.  But living with yourself, your identity, what you’ve done, what you can do -- that was always there, long as you kept sight of the right priorities.  It was good she hadn't reaching for his hand. 

He stood away from the bed and smiled wanly.  “I better go.  I have a ride to catch.”

“With Adams and Cortez?”

He nodded.

“Say something to them for me,” she said.

“Something?” he said.  “That’s a lot of leeway.”

“Eh.” Shepard tried to smile.  “I trust you.”

He gave her a weak smile.  As he held her eyes though, the smile stretched wider.  It touched his eyes.  “I’m really glad you’re okay, Shepard.”

“Thanks,” she said.  “I’ll see you planetside.”

He nodded and backed away.  He picked his bag off the floor and turned to the terminal screen.  "Thanks, Taccus.”

Taccus looked up from his datapad and blinked.  “Oh.  Right.  Are we done?”

“Yes.” Kaidan said slinging the bag over his shoulder. 

Liara and Miranda stirred in the corner.  Kaidan paused in the doorway and gave Shepard a nod before slipping away.  Shepard leaned back into her pillow.  Somehow it felt like losing him all over again.


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter 3**

“So, the drivecore is shooting spark,” Adams said. “I’m thinking, ‘Damn.  A tantalus core with heatsinks this size and an overclocked dispersion matrix like this.  This isn’t going to be good.’” A couple of Balmoral’s NCO’s passed by the open hallway door and glanced in before continuing on.  Adams stretched forward and pushed an emphatic finger down on the table.  “I knew there was only one way …”

“You rerouted the diffusion system?” Kaidan leaned his chair onto the back legs and bumped against one of the bunks.

“No,” Adams said slowly and slowly leaned back. “I overloaded the propriety Tantalus feat shield.”

“But that—”

“I know!  I know!  I thought of that too.”

“Then the sink system …”

“Completely offline.  Absolutely dead in the water.  So, I’m panicking …”

“Damn.”

“Exactly what I’m thinking.  ‘Damn.  What now?’  If that tantalus core for one second even—”

“This story again?” Cortez sat up in his bunk.

“Thought you were napping,” Adams said.

“Napping?” Cortez twisted around and put his feet on the floor.  “Say ‘sleeping,’ Adams.  You’re making me sound lazy in front of the major.”

“He saw you napping.”

Cortez rubbed his eye and stifled a yawn.  “Why aren’t you in the mess hall or something?  When you tell that story, Cortez, your voice gets louder and louder.  I swear each retelling—”

“Then you entertain us,” Adams said.  “Give us a good shuttle story.”

Cortez smiled.  “How about the time this bastard XO was messing around in the side panel of my raise drive?”

“Heard that one.”  Kaidan clapped the front of his chair back onto the floor and stood.

“Wait,” Adams said.  “Don’t you want to know what happened when the tantalus core went down?”

“Uh, yeah.  What happened?” Kaidan said.

 “Well, it …”

“What did it do, Adams?” Cortez asked stretching and ducked under the corner of the upper bunk as he stood.  He plodded to the table and pulled a chair out beside Adams.

“Well, uh …”

“Yeah?  Finish it out.” Cortez motioned.

“Well,” Adams frowned at him.  “It, uh … it came back online.”

Kaidan waited.  “And?”

“And that fixed it.  We got the system back up again,” Adams said.

“That’s how he ends it every time,” Cortez shook his head.  “Major, we were stuck on the same ship for ten plus months, and you never heard this one?  So many retellings, you think it would get better.”

Adams chuckled.  “You know, Cortez, at least my stories are consistent.  The fish I caught doesn’t get bigger each time.”

“If you caught a minnow though, you have to ask yourself: does the story really deserve to be told?”

Adams hunched forward over the table with a grin and shook a finger at him.  “The thing you never get about this story is that the tantalus core’s heat vents—”

“I’ll see you guys around.”  Kaidan went to the door.

“Where you going?” Adams frowned.

“Walk around.”

“Where?  This ship’s a minnow,” Adams said.

Kaidan grinned.  “I’m not the only Normandy-made ship snob?”

Cortez laughed.  “Anyone that’s been on the Normandy SV2 longer than a week has got to be an Alliance ship snob.  We had over a year.  No coming back now.  Cerberus really knew their stuff.  Hate them, don’t get me wrong.”

Adams sighed.  “When we lost the first one, went down in the explosion, never thought I’d see her like again.  But Cerberus, what they rebuilt and now seeing her soar again …  There isn’t anything finer out there.”

Adams laughed as he grinned at Cortez.  He looked over at Kaidan.

“What’s wrong with you?” Adams said.

“What?” Kaidan blinked.

“Your face …” Adams frowned.

Cortez cleared his throat and caught Adam’s eye meaningfully.  He shook his head.  Adams frowned for a moment, then his eyebrows rose.  Damn, now it was awkward.  Definitely time for a walk.

“Hey,” Kaidan said to Cortez.  “Where’s that …”

“Threw it on your bunk, Major,” Cortez said.

Kaidan snatched the Omni-Tool off a top bunk and slipped it on.  That felt right.  Not his.  Not a good one, but it would work for now.  Another lease from the Alliance.  He couldn’t really complain.

“Don’t get lost,” Adams chuckled a little tightly.

“I’ll stay in one place if I do,” Kaidan said and passed out the door.

 

* * *

 

It _was_ a minnow of a ship.  Adams was right.  But it had been a commercial passenger vessel before being recommissioned by the Alliance and now ping ponging between Earth, the relay, and Jump Zero.  The only thing it did was carry Alliance officers, building materials, and boring run of the mill cargo.  Hopefully, nothing too enticing to a merc ship.  It was Alliance though, that alone probably soured the appeal as a target.

The ship only had three levels.  Navigation and officers on duty were on top.  Off limits to Kaidan though.  This level with beds and mess hall. Then the lower deck, cargo, and engineering.  Kaidan stepped into the elevator and punched the button for the lower deck.  Maybe it was also off limits to him, but no one had explicitly said that. 

The elevator slowed to a stop.  An NCO looked up from sorting through a workbench of heat clips and rifle parts.  She gave Kaidan a smile and nod before picking up a cleaning rod for the barrel in her other hand.  Not a salute.  Not that Kaidan was so pompous he needed a salute, but it was just another reminder.  He returned the nod and moved past her into the cargo bay.

“Major.”

Kaidan turned.  Briggs and Oreille sat just to the side of the elevator playing cards on a crate.  Kaidan knew little more than their names and faces.  Shepard had handpicked them though for the Normandy, so Kaidan suspected he already knew their quality.

“Lieutenant, Chief.” Kaidan strolled over.  “How’s the neck?”

“Still keeping the head on, sir,” Oreille said. “Can’t say the docs don’t know their stuff.”

“Might have put it on backward.  Hard telling sometimes,” Briggs grinned.

Oreille tapped his cards.  “Hope they left you some of your guts, Briggs.  I have a good hand.”

“Up for a game, sir?” Briggs asked.

“Another time,” Kaidan said.  “Thanks.”

“Too bad, but then Oreille’d just try to hustle you anyway.”

“Better than trying to sit all your opponents in front of a reflective surface,” Oreille said.

Briggs raised his shoulders. “I didn’t tell you to sit there.”

Oreille gave him a dull stare.  “I’ve seen you bluff.”

Briggs looked up at Kaidan.  “Sir, you really head that strike in Cesky Krumlov?  Heard the bastards about leveled the place when they realized the dextran mill wasn’t gonna blow.”

“Musta been helluv a biotics show,” Oreille said.  “All those heavy arms they lifted off the Shields thrown at you.  Civilians probably outta their minds.”

“It was touch and go there for a bit,” Kaidan said.  “But we didn’t lose anyone and the town was saved.  Some of the important cell members slipped away though.”

“But you got ‘em in Plzen,” Oreille said.  “Now that I would have seen.  Those biotic explosions more controlled than our incendiary stuff?”

“If done right,” Kaidan said.

“Damn, that woulda been cool to see,” Oreille said.  “Preserving all that historic crap.”

“Middle of the city, daytime, all those civilians round, that salarian pow wow going down.” Briggs grimaced. “Tough one.”

“My teams knew what they were doing,” Kaidan said.

“Had to have, sir.” Briggs shook his head. “Woulda been a front-page slaughter otherwise.”

 Kaidan gave a thoughtful nod and looked out around the cluttered bay.  He turned back to them.

“I’ll check in with you both later.”

He paused.  Wait, he wasn’t their commanding officer.  He wasn’t supervising or commanding anyone.  They didn’t seem to notice though and both rose and gave him a crisp salute.  

“Yes, sir.”

Kaidan was a little delayed but returned it.  They sat back down picking up their cards as Kaidan wandered off skirting the cargo bay’s cluttered storage.

 

* * *

 

For an instant as he wandered the cargo bay’s maze of shipping containers, a silhouette flashed through his mind -- the glowing form of an asari charging him between crates.  Crushing him against the wall with that crate trick? She was good, Kaidan had to admit.  Inventive.  He probably wouldn’t have thought of that.  Then again, even if he had, did he really want his Alliance report to include smearing his adversary into the wall with a shipping container.  Kaidan cringed.  Better to go out with a bang than a crunch.

He leaned against a crate and faced the cargo bay’s back wall.  The datachip Liara had given him was in his pocket.  He plugged it into his loaner Omni-Tool.  Numbers and letter lit up the screen, more than could fit on one page.  He scrolled through it.  It seemed the right length.  Now if it worked …  He slid a datapad out from another pocket and expanded it open.  He pulled up Anchor’s messages and networked it with his Omni-Tool.  He initiated the decode.  Words started to appear.  It was working.  Liara had done it.  The first message bled away into a few sentences. 

_Langley likely entry point.  Team assembling for drop off.  Rendezvous on return trip.  Will signal with station’s distress call._

Kaidan released a long breath.  Anchor’s marching orders _were_ here then and the code worked.  He brought up the messages he’d copied from the QEC back and forth.  It wasn’t embedded in readable camouflage, but it would be too messy for Anchor to be using more than one code.  Long as everything was complete on the datachip, it should work like it did on the Normandy when he’d first tried it.  It decoded in a number of seconds.

_Recover target.  Work with entry team to neutralize and secure vessel.  Take Shepard alive, if possible._

It was unbelievable.  A part of him had still been skeptical he’d ever decode the messages.

_First target: Blue Sons, Alcatraz SV1. Signature likely hidden in Neptune’s gravity field._

_Return: Vancouver, First Day of the Restoration, transfer vessel to the Scorpion for permanent departure.  Shepard, if prisoner, must remain aboard._   

Kaidan read through all the messages.  It was all right here, the whole debacle. Anchor’s replies were mostly just acknowledgements, but it was clear he’d been meant to head the operation after the take over and command the ship.  He must have worked himself up the ladder to be so trusted. 

After going yhrough the messages he'd marked as likely encoded, Kaidan browsed Anchor’s entire inboxagain.  His finger hesitated over an email offering credit-free payment for the first ten months on your own Kodiak-type pedestrian shuttlecraft.  The model number was all wrong for the picture being advertised.  It was an email Kaidan had restored with the other deleted junk on Anchor’s datapad harddrive. 

Kaidan opened the full message.  He could be sentencing himself to hours tweezing a virus out of his Alliance issued Omni-Tool.  Nothing was alerting yet.  The sales description made Kaidan frown.  Granted, he mostly kept to the automated skycars’ route-points to get around town.  He didn’t have a breadth of experience with civilian-level shuttlecrafts, but this email description was nonsense.  Embleius motor rotator IV series -- what the hell was that?  And you couldn’t clock a 120 on a Tesla propulsion system with that sort of acceleration core.  Laughable.  The firewall had better be damned good on this Alliance loaner he was using.  This email clearly wasn’t an earnest solicitation.  Though maybe …

Kaidan brought up the datachips’s code and fed the spam message through the coding matrix.  Instead of eye rolling gibberish coding out, words appeared.  Kaidan’s brows drew tight.  It changed into a short message:

_Scorpion’s surprise package will be ready on First Day._

Kaidan read over it again still frowning.  Anchor had kept all his other email messages from Terra Firma.  If he trashed this one, even deleted it off the drive, either he didn’t realize what it was or there was something sensitive about it. 

Anchor hadn’t deleted the other messages and probably never thought the Alliance would be reading his inbox.  If that was true, then Anchor hadn’t been deleting this message from Alliance investigators, but from someone else.  Anchor had obviously been trusted and climbed his way up in Terra Firma.  If there was an inner circle, and there were always inner circles, maybe Anchor was in the know on something in general circulated.  Surprise package for the Scorpion ?  Outside of a birthday party, surprise packages weren’t generally a good thing, especially if the message needed to be deleted so thoroughly.  Maybe whatever this ‘First Day’ was the Scorpion’s Ides of March.

Kaidan’s own message comm flashed.  An email message from Diana Allers again.  Kaidan didn’t even read it and deleted it straight off.  She could go through Alliance PR just like everyone else.  He'd just look up and repeat whatever the latest news release said anyway.

He clicked off his Omni-Tool and removed Liara’s datachip.  He couldn’t risk returning the Omni-Tool with the datachip still installed.  He put everything away in his pockets and braced himself against a crate idly drumming his fingers in thought. This was an amazing breakthrough.  The attack on the Summit was confirmed then, and there was finally something more than rumors to go off.  It was good.  It should be making him feel better. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, head throbbing, and touched his forehead lightly.  The migraine was worsening.  All this information, all the good that had happened, should be relieving stress not causing it.  It had to be stress provoking this one.  He’d eaten and slept.  He hadn’t used his biotics in days since straining himself during his fight with the assassin. 

He had no reason to be stressed.  Shepard was alive again.  ‘Alive again’ because she had been dead.  Dead, except for filling out the form and putting a time stamp.  He had stood there with the future rolling out before him.  Every word between them had been spoken.  Every touch, every look, every moment, anything that could have been or was had come to the end, a book closed and put back onto the shelf.  He’d been there before, and each time he lost her, he felt more certain, more desperate, more heartbroken.  He tore apart into pieces.  Miranda rebuilt Shepard, but he’d had to rebuilt himself over and over again.

Shepard seemed untouched by any of it.  He stood there in her hospital room, his entire world reorienting and lifting from the ashes, and she acted as if it were nothing -- nonchalant, unfazed, unflappable -- while he reeled inside.  Her perseverance, ability to just stand right back up again and charge ahead, he loved it.  It was who she was, he wouldn’t have it any other way, but he couldn't do it.

Maybe it was more than just personality and perseverance though that had made her strong when he crumbled.  It was his love for her that drove him to his knees.  The difference between them might not be in resilience but indifference.  Not that she was indifferent to him, he knew better.  She’d wanted to see him after all.  He had no doubt she cared, but that could mean many things.  Perhaps he’d only been projected his feelings onto her the whole time.  Consciously or unconsciously, for her, the Alliance regs could be a smokescreen.  More than the Alliance standing in their way, it was Shepard herself.  Someone could care for someone, love even, and still not want more than what was. 

Dropping some big sacrifice on her doorstep and throwing himself at her feet again would only guilt her into taking him. Then he’d never know if they were together, because she truly wanted it, or whether it was indebtedness, guilt, and obligation because he'd thrown everything away to be together. 

If he posited her with a hypothetical sacrifice, he’d still not know the truth.  Whether she wanted to be with him or wanted to move on, he’d get the same answer.  She’d say whatever it took to prevent him from doing it.  He could live his whole life never knowing why they were really together wondering if he’d manipulated her, though unintentionally. 

He couldn’t imagine anything worse than forcing himself on her and living in some fake reality.  It was ironic to think she could give up what she wanted, moving on, to give him what she thought he wanted, unrealizing what he wanted all along wasn’t just to be with her, but to be with her because she wanted to be with him.  He didn’t want to just not be turned away.  He wanted to be wanted back, and there was no way to get an honest answer to a hypothetical question. If he just did it, he'd pressure her and really never know. There was no good answer.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sucked in a heavy breath.  Here he was, Shepard was alive, and he was still making himself miserable.  He’d told himself if she lived, it would be enough.  He had to let it be and move on.  If they weren’t going to be together, it was time to accept it.  

If he could stop focusing on himself, there were bigger things he could be part of.  There was a whole world left to rebuild, things to stand for and defend.  Savoring the good parts of the past was fine, but after a point, it was time to strip away the things holding him back and live in the present.  Shepard believed that.  He admired it, but maybe it was time to stop admiring and start applying.

He took a deep breath, shoved away from the crate, and started to the elevator.  He loved Shepard, maybe he always would, but it was time to move on.  It was okay to feel, but there was a time to move forward and stop looking back.  That time was now.


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 4**

ANN flickered on the screen in front of Shepard. Miranda hunched over a datapad in the chair next to her bed.

"Caught up yet?" Miranda asked, eyes flicking to the screen.

Shepard sighed rolling the side of her face against the pillow and looked at Miranda.

"You, me, this." Shepard waved at the hospital room. "Tell me it doesn't make you nostalgic."

"I'd like a few less occasions to be nostalgic, Shepard."

"Here, here," Shepard said and turned back to the screen.

"How much more of that are you going to watch?"

"The news?" Shepard asked. "What, am I hogging it? You got a soap to catch up on?"

"Shepard." Miranda sighed and turned her datapad off. "What're you hoping to learn from that?"

"Well, I've been waiting for the sports section, but they keep droning on about bombings and Terra Firma and Summit protests instead."

"You can't do anything about it and worrying won't do any good."

"Do you know," Shepard sat up, "Terra Firma struck one of the Shields's hideout? Probably took possession of explosives the Shields knocked off the Alliance a while back? They have a nuclear warhead. A nuclear warhead, Miranda."

"Yes," Miranda sighed crossing her legs. "You're the one behind on the news, not me."

"And those protests. It's just what Terra Firma wanted by killing those turiens on my ship. The Alliance had nothing to do with it, let alone the Council. And what? Not having a Summit and not discussing our problems - _that's_ going to fix things?"

"There have always been separatists."

"And now, it's all about _not_ repairing the relays - the separatist opportunities now finally possible. 'Many only want enough relays repaired to accommodate a return home to larger systems. Others say this would be a step back.' Hell, yeah, it's a step back. It's madness."

"The Council won't let that happen," Miranda said.

"Everyone was working together for the first time. We accomplished so much because of it. Just throw it away." Shepard fell back in bed. "Give the terrorist groups exactly what they want. Reward all the destruction, all the death, everything they've done to us. It just incentivizes more of it."

"You can say all that at the Summit."

"The Summit's not my soap box," Shepard said. "This should be apparent."

"You seem passionate enough. You can make anything your soap box, Shepard."

"I've said enough."

Shepard pulled a pillow out from under her elbow and wrapped her arms around it.

"When can I get out of here?"

"Soon," Miranda said.

"We're still testing my biotics tomorrow?" Shepard twisted to look at her. "Please, say yes. I've been a good girl. Been using my call light for every bathroom break. Kept my heart rate down. Haven't pulled out my IV.  Haven't run down the hall holding my hospital gown closed looking for the nearest exit sign."

"Long as everything remains stable, can't see why not," Miranda said.

"Kind of wish I had a witness here for that, but I'll trust you," Shepard said. "Where is Liara anyway?"

"I don't monitor that," Miranda said and lifted her datapad again.

"She's been pretty quiet. You noticed that?"

"I don't monitor that either."

Shepard hugged the pillow tighter and lay quiet for a moment. Miranda held the datapad closer and scrolled down a page.

"I lost so many," Shepard said.

Miranda looked up.

"So many on my watch," Shepard said.

"Shepard," Miranda scooted onto the edge of her chair. "You've lost soldiers before."

"In war, Miranda. This wasn't war. It was from the inside. I didn't put the pieces together in time. I can't take that back and I can't change it, but this never should have happened."

"You win some, you lose some. You've won a lot. This doesn't even level the score."

"Soldiers died defeating Saren, defending the Citadel, taking down the Collectors, the Reapers. This? It was for nothing."

Miranda gave a long sigh. "They died in active service. That's more meaningful than most deaths out there. Most people die from heart disease, cancer, or in a shuttle accident coming back from a birthday party. People die all the time. Most of it is for nothing. At least for them, they died fighting."

Shepard fixated on rubbing her thumb in a circle on the back of her hand. After a while, Miranda sat back in her chair and lifted her datapad again.

"When's the Summit?" Shepard asked.

"Two weeks."

Shepard nodded and took a deep breath. "I need to be there."

"You will be," Miranda said.

"Good."

Shepard turned back to the vid screen. Maybe most people did die for nothing, but she was going to make sure the bastards that made them die for nothing paid. They didn't want the Summit to go on, then she'd be there to make sure it did.

 

* * *

 

Miranda shoved a table against the wall and pulled a pillow off her bed. She tossed it into the center of the room she'd been renting. The two dining room chairs scrapped across the floor in Liara's hands.  She pushed them up against the table and out of the way.

"Okay. We'll start with that." Miranda indicated the pillow.

Shepard sighed. "A pillow?"

"Too intimidating?" Miranda folded her arms. "Let me find you a paperclip then."

"Why don't you?" Shepard said. "While you're gone, Liara and I can move some real stuff."

"A paperclip would actually be more of a challenge," Liara said.

"Never been good at that fine, tactile stuff," Shepard said. "How about the table?"

"Pillow first, Shepard."

Shepard inhaled a full breath and reached her hand out. She hesitated.

"What's wrong?" Miranda stepped nearer.

"Nothing," Shepard said. "It's been a long time is all. Just getting my bearings."

Liara put a hand on Shepard's arm. "We can do this another time, Shepard."

"No," Shepard said quickly.

Blue energy licked across her skin. The tickle invigorating her. The surge and power of it made her feel alive.

"Anytime, Shepard," Miranda said.

Shepard flicked her hand and felt the energy rushing through her. The pillow flashed blue and burst. Synthetic cotton erupted into the air. Shepard twisted her hand and threw out a swirling sphere. It dragged the floating fluff into a vortex. Miranda frowned as a piece of fluff sucked past her face into the singularity.

"Show off." Miranda put her hands on her hips. "That was my pillow."

"Accident. Sorry. Little bit of a power surge," Shepard said. "But look, I cleaned it up for you."

"Let me scan you."

Shepard let the dark energy fade off her skin and straightened. Miranda approached with a paddle in her hand and her Omni-Tool glowing. Liara smiled encouragingly from over her shoulder.

"It's good," Miranda grinned broadly. "It's working just as it should. How do you feel?"

"Normal."

"And your biotics?" Liara asked. "Do they feel the same?"

"A little strange. Kind of like sighting in a new rifle."

"We'll need to measure you," Miranda said. "See where you spike. Check your endurance. It's a different implant. Your biotics may be altered good or bad."

Shepard didn't want to dwell on the bad.

"Let's hash it out then. See where I'm standing," Shepard said.

"We will," Miranda said. "But another time. There's a lot to throw together before leaving tomorrow."

"I can measure it," Liara said.

Miranda raised her eyebrows. "You know how?"

Liara held up her Omni-Tool. "Yes."

Miranda shrugged. "Don't destroy my room. I'm going back to the med ward to gather some things. Call me if anything happens."

"Of course." Shepard waved her off.

Miranda disappeared out the sliding door.

"What do you want to test?" Liara asked.

"I get to choose?" Shepard asked. "How novel. How about … that."

Liara glanced over at Miranda's metal framed bed.  The thick iron form dominated the corner of the room. Liara raised her eyebrows but crossed over to it.

"Liara," Shepard said with a smile. "I'm not serious. Miranda would kill me if I broke her bed _and_ tore her pillow apart. Just seeing what you'd say."

"Oh." She stood uncertainly. "Very well."

"Right answer though," Shepard said. "I appreciate you believing I could jump from a pillow to a gigantic metal bed."

"I believe in you, Shepard."

"As far as my biotics go, I hope that's not unfounded, but we really don't know do we? How about that table or a chair?"

Liara grabbed a chair and set it in the middle of the room.

"This isn't going to spike any maxes will it?" Shepard said.

"Lifting might not show us any spikes," Liara allowed, "but we can test endurance, see how things are translating out."

"I need to throw something then, if I want to measure a spike," Shepard said.

Liara's eyes widened. "Shepard …"

"Not here," Shepard said. "I'm not crazy. Let's find another spot."

"What? No. Let's stay here."

"Let's go." Shepard opened the door.

"Shepard!" Liara scrambled after her. "Where are we going?"

"They have to have some open space here. We just need to find it. Let's try this direction."

"Shepard, these corridors are indistinguishable. We need to know where we're going."

"Then tell me where to go. You've been living here almost two weeks. You haven't explored? What about the warehouses? Docks?"

"No," Liara frowned. "Not there. It's day cycle, they'll be in use."

They walked mindlessly. Shepard darted down corners and peered through open doorways. The warehouses were indeed busy with workers running cranes and loading freight. Shepard looked anyway away.

"The docking terminals can't all be in use," Shepard said rushing down a side hallway.

Liara stopped with a sigh. "Very well. I know a more open space."

Shepard backtracked with a smirk. "Holding out on me, huh? Thought I'd give up, go back to tossing pillows around Miranda's room?"

"Lifting a chair would be an adequate trial of your biotics at this point."

"I want to know how high I spike, not how long I can lift a chair."

"You must be worried you'll spike lower. I can understand that."

"Then lead the way," Shepard said.

Liara nodded with a slight frown. They navigated through a labyrinth of metal corridors. Light grew dimmer and halls quieter. A light dust twisted in the air disturbed by their passing.

"Is this area condemned?" Shepard asked.

"It's not in use right now. Here, down this hallway."

They walked abreast. Liara twisted her hands together glancing over at Shepard. The corridor emptied into a towering atrium several stories high in the center. Half circled balconies looked over it. Shepard strolled up a couple of steps to a large dirt-filled planter in the center of the room. She gazed around the almost stage-like arena.

"What was this used for?"

"Biotic exercises."

Shepard twisted to look at her. "Just guessing?"

Liara shrugged and looked away.  Shepard peered up at the shaft overhead. It was certainly high enough to slam an object upward with some real force. There was nothing to break - no lights, glass, or paneling. Thick solid construction. Perhaps Liara was right, and it had been used for biotic exercises.

"I suppose we forgot to bring something to throw," Liara said.

Shepard turned in a circle looking around the open space. There was a stairway.   She crossed over to it.

"Where are you going?" Liara said.

"Looking for something to throw, like you said."

The stairway led to the first-tier balcony directly overlooking the atrium. Footprints smeared the dust on the floor.

"We must not be the only ones coming here."

Shepard moved to the balcony's half-wall and looked out over the area below. They really should've thought to bring something to throw. It would need to be heavy though to really measure a spike. Something heavy enough probably would have been too cumbersome to bring this far anyway. She moved around the balcony.

"What about that bench?" Shepard pointed to a metal framed bench in the corner at the end. "I might destroy it, but his section of the station seems abandoned. Think they'd care?"

Liara crossed her arms across her midsection.  She came to the balcony wall beside Shepard.

"I suppose not," she said after a moment.

"All right then. That much is solved."

Shepard leaned out, looked up the shaft, then back at the metal bench. It should work. She had a good distance to throw up and that bench certainly looked heavy enough for it. It should give an excellent spike reading. Liara studied her fingers spread on top of the balcony wall.

"Do you need to get into a better position?" Shepard asked.

Liara looked up sharply. "Shepard?"

"Maybe I should bring the bench down there first. Straighter shot."

Shepard crossed over to the bench. It wasn't attached to the floor. Good.

"I know you told me you don't want to talk about it …" Liara bit her lip.

Shepard paused. She looked back at Liara with a slight frown. 

"What?" she said slowly and came over.

"You and Kaidan …"

"Liara," Shepard sighed. "Don't."

Shepard turned away and walked along the balcony wall to the bench again.

Liara stumbled after her. "Do you still want to be with Kaidan? He loves you."

Shepard stopped and turned sharply.  "Liara, I don't want to talk about this again. We talked about it already on Earth."

"I know," Liara mumbled. "Sometimes the answer to a question changes. Things change, and how you feel changes. Maybe you two could—"

"No," Shepard snapped. Liara's eye widened, and Shepard softened her tone. "Sorry, but no. We're not together. Nothing has changed. We're both Alliance soldiers, and we both have bigger things to think of."

"Have you told him—"

"I have told him, Liara. I talked to him about it."

"I understand," Liara said.

Liara didn't say anything more. Shepard slowed her breathing and turned back to get the bench.

"Maybe he doesn't truly believe it though," Liara said.

Shepard released a long breath. 

"Look." Shepard twisted on her heels to face Liara again. "I want to make this very clear. Kaidan and I are not together, not anymore. I'm moving on. He should move on. Whether he believes that or not, I can't control. But if he knows me, and he should, he should know I don't make decisions lightly, and I don't go back on them. I see them through. I can't double guess my decisions, Liara. I've talked to Kaidan, and he does know this."

"I see."

Shepard gave a harsh breath.  "Did Kaidan say something to you? If Kaidan's pushing this agenda on you, he's out of line."

Liara's face hardened. "He didn't."

"I hope not," Shepard said sharply.

She crossed her arms tightly, fists clenched, and shifted her gaze back to the bench. Liara didn't say anything.

Finally, Shepard spoke.  "Let's just go back. We can do this another time."

Shepard marched to the staircase and paused for Liara. Liara hung her head, hands twisting together. She glanced sideways at the bench and then came slowly over keeping her eyes on the floor. Shepard plunged down the stairs with a heavy footfall on each step.


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter 5**

Kaidan stepped off the docking ramp into the terminal. He stopped short. Half a dozen krogan roared over each other shoving and haw-hawing a few steps ahead. One of the krogan bellowed and headbutted the one across from it. The receiver staggered into the wall, shook his head, and charged forward with a return headbutt. Kaidan stepped back as they tumbled his direction.

"Kaidan," a voice boomed.

Wrex shoved the two hotheads aside as they snarled into each other's faces.

"Wrex?" Kaidan said.

Adams and Cortez ambled out of the docking ramp and paused mid-conversation. Their eyebrows raised and shot Kaidan a look before shuttling off. Humans on the other side of the terminal were making the same expression. People rushing past down main hallway craned their necks as they passed the guffawing tussle.

"Kaidan. It's been too long."

"Good to see you, Wrex."

The other krogans shuffled up behind Wrex. They eyed Kaidan with slanted grins and narrowing eyelids.

"Uh …" Kaidan drew his eyes back to Wrex. "What's up?"

"How is Shepard?"

"She's better. Miranda patched her up."

"Good. Good. I was concerned. You humans and your fragile nervous systems. One pop of the neck and done."

Kaidan smiled weakly. "Sure."

"One pop," leered a small, beady-eyed krogan behind Wrex.

"Uh, right." Kaidan shifted the bag over his shoulder. "Did you need something? You were waiting for me?"

"Needed to know how Shepard was. Hard to get any news around here."

"They were keeping it tight until they knew what to report. I thought her recovery was reported to the media."

"ANN?" Wrex snorted. The krogan behind him chuckled looking at each other. "No time to watch that crap. Only report on half of it anyway."

"I suppose."

"I needed to hear the truth from you."

He jammed a finger into Kaidan's chest. Kaidan braced his legs to prevent falling back a step. The smaller krogan shook his head with a smirk. The group of krogan turned in on themselves talking in growling tones. One ruddy-toned krogan motioned at Kaidan and shook his head with a laugh.

"Don't mind them." Wrex grinned. "They are bored here. It's all enclosed and breakable. Too much rebuilding. In London, it's still rubble and open space. Reminds us of Tuchanka."

Kaidan scratched his neck. "I guess."

"No thresher maws though. Shame."

"Got some terrorist sects over there."

"Terrorist sects here too." Wrex glanced around. "But, these are boring. Like hunting your 'rats.' No challenge."

Kaidan exhaled a laugh. "Might be more challenging than you think. Rats can hide, and they run fast."

"Ah, but they are rats." Wrex rolled his shoulders. "Give me something real. Something I can butt my head into. Something to really sink your hands into. Tear apart."

Kaidan almost took a step back but stopped himself. The small krogan stared at him with a sharp-toothed grin.

"You guys are pretty cooped up, huh?"

"You have no idea."

"I'm starting to."

Wrex patted Kaidan roughly on the back. "Let's walk. Some movement, even if only walking, it is good. Come, come."

Kaidan hoisted his bag higher on his shoulder and walked with Wrex down the HQ hallway. The krogan entourage followed in a rowdy tumble of booming voices and shoving.

"Where's Grunt?"

"Ah, Grunt. He's here. He found entertainment."

"What, uh, sort of entertainment?"

"Hee, hee." Wrex grinned sideways at Kaidan. "The finest kind, my friend. The finest kind."

Kaidan looked forward with a frown not sure whether it was worth asking.

"So. We are here for the Summit."

Kaidan nodded. "I figured."

"They do not want us here." Wrex bared his teeth. A group of Alliance soldiers skittered out of the way with round eyes as they passed. The krogans growl-laughed muttering to each other. Two asari coming their direction turned down another hall.

"You do create an impression," Kaidan said.

"Krogan are all regarded with the same impression. Even before they meet me, they have decided."

Kaidan was quiet.  They continued down the hall.

"The Council won't see you?" he said finally.

"Ah." Wrex grinned. "The heart of it. You see the truth. They put us off with words, empty words, but they won't see us. It's true. That's why we need Shepard."

"Shepard?"

"After she talked to them at a meeting, they contacted me. Invited me to the Summit to discuss these things. Wanted to work out an agreement. But now? I am here. Brought other Clan Urdnot krogan to speak, but now, they will not see me."

"Perhaps they're waiting for the Summit."

"Paw." Wrex spit. "How can we talk at the Summit? We have no time set. Everything here is so set and timed. We've got no appointment time on this Summit schedule. May as well not even come. We should be heard now, then given time at the meet."

Kaidan nodded thoughtful, "I can see if—"

"No. We want Shepard." Wrex held up a hand. "Many have spoken for us, but none are like Shepard. She is the only one to sway them."

It was probably true. Shepard had a way with words. She had clout and trust. The krogan couldn't have found a better ally.

"She'll be back for the Summit," Kaidan said.

"This had better be." Wrex grunted. "Few days away. Makes us … this."

Wrex motioned behind. One krogan slammed the small, beady-eyed one into the wall. The little krogan shoved off the wall and rammed his head into the other. A potted plant crashed onto its side spilling dirt. A krogans kicked at it and laughed.

"Stop that!" Wrex snapped. "We'll find time outside for that. These humans look down on breaking their dainty things." Wrex grinned at Kaidan and gave a firm tap with the back of his hand. "Huh? You do not make things to last. Thin and breakable like yourself instead of sturdy, durable, Krogan."

A krogan-sized hole dented the wall by the plant. One of the krogan scrambled to upright the fern, shoveling dirt back into the pot.

"Very good. Nothing to be done about the wall." Wrex shrugged. "You could learn much from Krogan architecture."

"Krogan architecture?" Kaidan asked.

"I see you're skeptical. Once the krogan were great. Much still stands despite great wars. Durable." He raised a hand. "We will be great again. You shall see."

"You'll live much longer than me," Kaidan said.

"Ah. That is true. Humans, so fragile and brief. Like these flowers here. You are a flower." He jabbed a finger into Kaidan's chest again.

"Uh, thanks, Wrex," Kaidan said amid the Krogan snickers. "That's very … poetic."

"We krogan were artists once too. You shall see."

Kaidan rubbed his chest. "It might have to be the next, uh … next generation of flowers that see that, but I believe you."

"I think you do." Wrex nodded. "That is why you are okay. Why I ask you about Shepard."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Liara only writes me notes. Bah! No time for that. Garrus knows nothing. I think he is angry." Kaidan frowned. Great. Wrex continued. "Tali? Just reads Liara's message back. The rest? They do not matter. We are the one there from the beginning."

"Right," Kaidan said. "So, uh … Garrus seemed mad?"

Wrex grinned toothily. "Oh, yes. I think he would make a good krogan sparring partner. But fighting dirty is not allowed. You win by strength. Then Garrus would not win."

The small krogan smiled at Kaidan.

"You though." Wrex tapped his chest with the back of his hand. Kaidan took a couple of steps back. "Ah yes, back up some. We could not fight you sparring. Too much mess. Over too fast."

"Pop," the small krogan said staring at Kaidan.

"But," Wrex said, "we give you a gun, armor. Maybe you'd do okay."

"I'm just glad we're all on the same team, right?"

"For now." Wrex pursed his lips and rolled his shoulders. "We do not get time in the Summit, we'll see."

Kaidan stared at him. "I would be careful saying that, at least, in public."

Kaidan looked around. People passed either outright gawking at the krogans or deliberately staring straight ahead. People down the hall talked behind their hands.  They looked sharply away as Kaidan eyed them.

"We krogan are honest. No lies and hiding. If it is true, it can be said. This is the way of the krogan."

Kaidan turned back to him. "But not the way of the Council. If you—"

"Spectre Alenko! Major!"

Kaidan froze. Wrex swung his head around to the voice. Feet slapped down the vinyl coming closer. Kaidan sneaked a look. Exactly who he thought.

"Major Alenko." She panted using his arm to skid to a halt.

"Who is this?" Wrex said.

"Diana Allers, ANN's Battlespace News." She smoothed down her dress and touched a hand to her hair poofing it a little. Her lips curled as she looked between Kaidan and Wrex. "How lucky. Urdnot Wrex too."

"We do not like the news." Wrex frowned. "What you say of the krogan? It is an insult."

"Oh," Diana blinked large rabbit eyes at him. "Then, uh, help me set the record straight."

She held out a microphone and motioned at a camera still bobbing its way down the hall after her.

Wrex bared his teeth. "We do not talk to the news."

Diana sputtered. "Then how do you expect—" The encroaching krogan made her cut off. She raised her head higher but lowered her microphone. "Very well. If you change your—"

"Krogan stand behind what is said."

Diana gave a strained smile glancing around at the looming mob of krogan. "Then, yes, certainly. Thank you for your time."

She spun on Kaidan.  "Major Kaidan Alenko, Human Systems Alliance and Council Spectre." She held the microphone out for him to give a greeting.

He pushed the microphone down and eyed the bobbling camera. "Not right now, Allers."

Her lips curved, and she stepped closer. "When then?"

"Talk to my secretary." Kaidan stepped backward and nodded at Wrex. "Catch you later."

"Good bye, little flower." Wrex chuckled.

Kaidan waved a hand back at Wrex and pushed down the hall. His bag tapped on his back with each quickening step. Running heels snapped beside him. Diana clutched the microphone to her chest as she fell in next to him.

"Come on, Major. We were aboard the Normandy together. Do it for a friend."

"I'm only your friend right now, because you want some big exclusive."

"Exclusive?" Her eyes lit up. "Would you?"

"No." He turned down a hallway.

She cut after him. "I can show you just how friendly I really feel."

Kaidan glanced back at her with a frown. "Come on. Be better than that. For yourself."

"So empowering." Diana reached his side and kept a running skip to keep up. "My viewers love to be empowered. Give us a motivational pep talk. Tell us how Commander Shepard is doing? Have you seen her? You have right?"

Kaidan skid to a stop. "Look, Allers. I'm saying it straight out. No interview. Nothing. On the record, off the record, there's no way."

"We can pay."

Kaidan's face scrunched. "Are you serious? No."

"It's not selling out your friends. It's very hush, hush. Just you, me, and the camera here."

"Look. No."

"We can pay in information."

Kaidan paused. "What information?"

Diana clicked her tongue. She looked at him from under her eyelashes with a sly grin and twisted her lips up. "Ah ha. Not credits. Not … uh, favors. But information, huh?"

Kaidan rolled his eyes and pushed down the hall again. "Never mind."

Diana skipped after him. "Come on, Alenko. You scratch my back, I … can do whatever."

He glared back at her still continuing forward. "After I get to the Alliance barracks, you'll have to stop following."

Diana brushed her arm against him and grinned. "Wouldn't be the first time I've followed an officer into private quarters."

"Really, Allers? You've got to feel on some level you're better than that."

"So judgmental," Diana tsked. She pulled at his arm to slow him down. He shook her hand off. "It's because I'm a woman, you're all judgy about it."

"No, it's not."

"Sure. Right."

Kaidan stopped. "Trading that for a story? It could be anyone, it wouldn't seem right. Now that, that, would make a story. You should do it on yourself, the dirty underbelly of the media."

"Oh, Alenko." She came closer. "My underbelly is not dirty. My hygiene is excellent."

He threw up his free hand and stalked down the hall again.

"Interesting, don't you think?" she called after him. "So many Terra Firma members in town?"

Kaidan stopped. He waited until she strolled up next to him. He eyed her out of the corner of his eye. "Okay. What do you know? Do you really know anything?"

"Do I know anything?" She gaped with exaggeration. "Major, I know everything."

"I highly doubt that." Kaidan shifted on his feet and sighed. "Tell me what you know, if it's really worth knowing."

Diana shrugged. "Quid pro quo."

"You want an interview in exchange?"

"Yep." She snapped her fingers. The camera floated up beside her.

"No deal." He turned away down the hall.

The barracks were so damn far away. He should have just made a skycar transfer.

"Terra Firma," Diana called again. "Something's happening."

Kaidan sighed and walked faster.

Diana cursed and raced after him.  "Fine! Fine! I actually do know something."

Kaidan stopped grudgingly and turned to her. "Tell me then."

"Then I get an interview?"

"No."

Diana exhaled loudly clenching her jaw at him.

He motioned at her. "Saving lives, stopping a terrorist attack, that isn't enough? You live here too, you know."

"Turn that back around on yourself. If you care so much about that stuff, then why not give a little interview?"

"If you know something that actually matters, you should tell me, Diana."

"Then how about some information exchanged off the record?"

"Okay." Kaidan dropped his bag and waited. "You go first."

The residential hallway was quiet as they stared at each other.

Diana watched him with thin slivers.  "You're not going to tell me anything after I go first, am I right?"

"Right." Kaidan shrugged. "Go ahead."

Diana sighed with a growl and twisted away briefly as if thinking. She spun back on him.

"Fine," she snapped. "But I get something out of this."

"You can have some of my respect back. Come on."

Diana mock laughed. "Your respect hasn't done anything for me for me to care about getting it back. A pretty inflated currency."

Kaidan stared at her, mouth tight, done talking. Diana glared back at him, but Kaidan just crossed his arms and waited.

Diana grabbed his arm.  "Because … well, because you're Shepard's friend and I actually like Shepard, I will tell you. Terra Firma is gathering in town for some strike during the Summit."

"I already know that." He lifted his bag.

She still griped his arm.  Her fingers tightened.

He frowned at her.  "What?"

"Did you know all the major leaders are here?" she asked.

"How would you know that?"

"They are here. They've brought their best people, and there is going to be an attack at the ceremony."

"Okay …"

"But! The most important thing I've heard is about the Spider Summit."

Kaidan dropped his bag and sighed tiredly. "What?"

"The Spider Summit, Alenko, where the top members of Terra Firma finally come together. They're getting word from the top, issued orders, coordination of the strike. This meeting comes sometime before the real Summit. That's why they're all in town."

Kaidan studied her closely. Her face was mostly blank. Even if she was telling the truth, someone could tell a lie they thought was true. Still, unless the scorpion/spider passphrase was becoming common knowledge, the Spider Summit seemed like the right wording. Someone in the Alliance could know more about this. He could crosscheck it.

"And that's all of it?" Kaidan asked.

Diana smirked and squeezed her fingers up his arm as if to feeling through his shirt. He brushed her hand off roughly.

"It doesn't have to be a trade for something, if that's your hang up." She pressed up closer. "Kaidan, right?"

"It's not happening." Kaidan stepped back and grabbed his bag. "Thanks for the information, if it's even right."

Diana's face hardened, and she cleared her throat.  "You know, Shepard didn't seem interested in spending personal time with me either. We were alone in her cabin more than once."

"How disappointing." He backed up.

"And did she disappoint you too? Those times you were alone in her cabin more than once." Diana smiled. "Maybe if I was your CO, I'd have the right favors to trade."

The bag slipped from Kaidan's fingers. He fumbled for it.

Diana took a step closer and narrowed her eyes.  "Don't push me around. I do have information. Just be glad I'm more interested in trading information to you than about you. Now does that earn me some of your respect?"

Kaidan swallowed, heat diffusing his face. He held her eye for a moment before turning and striding down the hall. He cut sharply down the closest hallway and release the clenched breath burning in his chest.  Blood pulsed in his cheeks, eyes on the floor, and made his way to the barracks.


	75. Chapter 75

 

**Chapter 6**

Shepard scrolled through her messages, read news articles, reviewed her notes on the Summit. She lowered the datapad into her lap with a sigh.

This ship actually had windows. Not big ones, nothing like the Normandy, but still it had windows. Miranda sat next to her on the couch absorbed in some article on – Shepard craned her neck – aah, on eezo nodes in utero development, an introduction. Titillating.

Shepard hopped to her feet and peered out the port hole. The wispy blue veil of FTL separated her from the stars.

"Bored, Shepard?" Miranda asked.

"No," Shepard turned and leaned against the wall. "What about you two?"

Liara turned from the desk in the corner. Three terminal screens split in front of her. "Not at all. The information filtering in before the Summit is astounding."

Shepard smiled. "Gonna be able to buy a vacation home when it's done?"

"More than that I believe," Liara murmured turning back to the screens. "This could fund expansion of an entire new circle of contacts."

"Really?" Shepard said. "Anything there really worth knowing?"

"To you?" Liara said. "No. To the prime minister's wife or the Salarian Science Council, yes."

"Sounds juicy," Shepard said.

Miranda fingered down another page on her datapad and gave a long sigh.

"What about you, Miranda? Eezo nodule development really doing something for you?"

"This should interest you too."

"Why? Because I'm a biotic?"

"A human biotic, yes."

"The Eezo Exposure Protection Act should be putting that article out of print."

"Maybe not. That's why it's interesting."

"I'll take your world on it."

Liara looked over at Miranda. "You still working on that chemical formula?"

"The one Kaidan sent?" Miranda actually grinned. "Yes. Some trials, and I think we might actually have a binding antidote."

Liara smiled and turned back to her screens. Shepard pushed off from the wall and strolled over to her.

"Shepard," Liara said and smiled up at her. "I think you may be mobbed when we arrive. Every news outlet is tracking your story."

"Suppose I should ready a speech?" Shepard asked.

"Actually, I think they'd like that."

"Me too," Shepard said. "But, I've got to save my material for the Summit.

"Do you know what you're going to say, Shepard? You've decided to say something?" Liara asked.

Miranda looked over at them.  

"Not exactly sure what," Shepard admitted. "But then, I didn't plan out what I'd say to the turiens and the krogan, or the quarians and the geth. Maybe it works better that way. Too practiced and you sound like a politician."

"And you wouldn't want to be mistaken as one of those," Miranda said.

"Hell, no."

"More days captaining through the stars, huh, Shepard?" Miranda cocked her head.

Liara swiveled in her chair to face Shepard and watched her with big blue eyes. Miranda's datapad dipped onto her lap as she waited.

"Of course, I'll be captaining the Normandy. Why wouldn't I?"

Miranda nodded, lips pursed, and raised the datapad in her hand. Liara swiveled back to her monitors.

"Was that the answer everyone was waiting for? I had the attention of the house there for a moment."

"All two of us," Miranda murmured.

"I wasn't implying it was sold out."

Shepard crossed over to Miranda and took a seat again.

"Do you need something to read?" Miranda asked.

"I have something to read." Shepard motioned at the datapad laying next to her. "Makes me a little on edge going back. I'm missing the pre-show. Best part of the party."

"We'll get there with plenty of party time left, Shepard."

"Depends on the partying threshold you're trying to reach."

"Take your threshold down a few notches then."

Shepard shrugged. "Maybe."

From thos seat, she couldn't see the stars through that dim, little port hole. Nothing like the observation deck, but she'd be back there again. There wouldn't be blood and bodies last time.

"Nice they gave us our own cabin," Liara said from the corner.

"I think it may have been the captain's." Shepard frowned. "Our own bathroom, a window, kind of makes me feel bad actually. I don't need anything special."

"Doesn't compare to your posh cabin on the Normandy though, does it, Shepard?"

"Miranda, I spent most of my career on a top or lower bunk."

"Not the last couple years. Easy to get accustomed to the nice sleeping accommodations aboard the Normandy," Miranda said.

Shepard folded her arms and glanced sideways at her.  Miranda didn't meet her eyes, skimming a section on her datapad, holding it close to her face.

"I guess so," Shepard said.

Shepard snapped her datapad off the bench. Still no new messages. No spam even. She rolled her head back and stared at the ceiling.

"Shepard," Miranda sighed. "If you're so bored …"

"I didn't say I was bored."

"Everything but your mouth says you're bored."

"Everything else is lying. Only listen to my mouth."

Miranda chuckled. "Very well."

"Very well," Shepard echoed.

"You're not going to make us play biotic tug-o-war over cabin furniture?" Miranda asked.

"Why the hell would I do that?" Shepard frowned up at the ceiling.

"Just clearing the air on the entertainment expectations," Miranda said.

Shepard dropped her chin and looked at them. "What?"

Liara sighed and turned her head. "Kaidan made us do biotic competitions with the lounge chairs on the way over."

"Oh," Shepard said flatly.  She tipped her head back again and looked at the ceiling. "I won't make you do that."

Liara's fingers clicked across the terminal keys. Miranda recrossed her legs. Her arm brushed against Shepard's shoulder as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"So, uh … who won?" Shepard asked.

"What?" Miranda said.

"Who won?" Shepard asked. "The tug-o-war."

"The chair split in two." Miranda scrolled down a page on her datapad.

"I beat Miranda the first round," Liara said.

Miranda looked up from the screen. "Only one round. After I beat Kaidan, I would've made it into the brackets."

"But instead, you two tore the chair apart. The match wasn't settled, but I believe since I beat you, and you and Kaidan couldn't beat each other …"

Miranda dropped her datapad and twisted around. "I was a lot easier on you. I didn't want to break the chair."

Liara scooted forward in her swivel chair. "That didn't stop you the next round."

"Because it was Kaidan! I'd be damned if I let him beat me after the chair stack up."

"It was your own fault," Liara said. "Kaidan and I both said to support the base with another chair."

"The goal was to see who could stack the most vertically. I needed the extra chair."

"But you also—"

"Okay, then." Shepard shot to her feet and moved to her travel bag. "I'm taking a shower."

"You didn't win," Miranda insisted.

"I was fatigued from the chair lifting."

"But we all had the same time to recover, Liara."

"I went last."

"But last both times. Same interval."

"But if you think about –"

Shepard slid the bathroom door shut and sighed.

 

* * *

 

Hot water stung her face. So hot, Shepard was on the verge of turning it down. Steam curled around her. The rush of water streaming down her back felt good. She took a deep breath and set her back against the wall. The tiling's molded edges skipping up her backbone as she sank to the floor. She brushed away a slick tendril of hair sticking to the corner of her eye. Faint voices sounded like they were still debating. The walls and water muffled it too much to make out any words.

She grinned despite herself and folded her hands out to catch the falling water. It bubbled running over the rim of her fingers. Her smile stretched wider watching it dribble. The room brightened around her with a blue energy. Her skin glowed through the water cupped in her hands. She strained and a wavy blue light spread through the water. She parted her hands. A bubble of water rippled like a loose ball of jelly as it floated in front of her. She wrapped her arms around her knees with a toothy grin. Water splattered off its surface speckling her face. She reached out a hand and clenching it into a fist. The bubble burst. It had been a long time since she'd done that. Two years probably.

Water trickled into her smile as she leaned her head sideways on her knees. She blinked rapidly against the water. She hadn't thought of that in a long time. She could see Kaidan's face on Sur-Kesh as he turned to her smiling, water lapping on the weedy shore of the Capitol Gardens, that damned broken fountain charred from a Cerberus attack a few meters off, bone dry. Udina had been dead for well over a month. Valern, the salarian councilor, had died. The Alliance and Council's business over the new councilors was taking forever. She and Kaidan had stood there waiting and waiting.

 _Kaidan turned from the lake and smiled at her. He nodded at something behind her._  " _Think you could move water from the lake into that?"_

_Shepard followed his gaze to the fountain. "Can you?"_

_Kaidan shrugged. "I don't actually know. It's a fair challenge. I've never done it before."_

_"_ _That's exactly what a hustler would say."_

 _"_ _And a non-hustler."_

 _"_ _True." Shepard twisted on her heels and looked around. No one. "So, that's a challenge?"_

 _"_ _Uh … yeah. Consider it issued."_

 _"_ _Uh huh. The metaphorical throwing down of the glove?"_

 _"_ _Exactly. Scared?"_

 _"_ _Baiting me with trash talk? You think that will tip me over into accepting?"_

 _"_ _You biotic like a girl."_

_Shepard's eyes flew wide. She smacked his arm._

_"_ _And you hit like one too." He cringed back watching her warily._

_She shook her head, hands on her hips. "The whole 'like a girl' trash talk? Low, Kaidan."_

_"_ _What? It was a compliment. You're the sexist one."_

 _"_ _Fine." Shepard grinned. "I pick up your metaphorical glove and wave it in your face. How much water we talking here?"_

 _Kaidan seemed pretty damned pleased with that dopy smile._  " _I don't even know if it's possible. But assuming it is, I'd say whoever gets the most in … uh, wins."_

 _"_ _The winner gets the pride of being the one to swagger back to the Normandy?"_

 _"_ _With all the pomp. The loser trailing behind in shame."_

_Shepard chuckled. "Too bad James and Cortez aren't here. There'd be credits slapping down."_

_"_ _If we charged entrance fees, we could both come out ahead."_

 _"_ _I'd rather forego the audience." She peered around again. "Okay. Let's make this quick. You'll tell me if …"_

 _"_ _Sure. Depends on how good you're doing. Too good my lookout skills may lapse."_

 _"_ _Hey. You go next, so I'd impress the hell out of me with your look out skills or you'll see how rusty mine are."_

 _"_ _Threats. This is getting riskier all the time. Kind of a turn on, Shepard." He gave her a sly smile then stood back angling to watch her from the side while seeing the garden paths._

 _"_ _Okay."_

_Shepard planted her feet. The water at her feet reflected a blue haze as she lifted a hand haloed in dark energy. Out in the lake a glowing fog lifted out of the water. Glowing blue droplets rose, most falling back into the water before swirling into the misty vortex. Shepard bit her lip and scrunched her forehead. The toe of one foot edged into the water as the mist grew denser. The luminescent fog twisted in a man-sized cloud suspended above the water. She frowned at it._

_Kaidan brushed up beside her. The touch of his corona crackled and tingled up her arm in a warm shiver. The vortex sputtered, and she clenched back down on it. Kaidan put out a glowing hand. The familiar reverberation of his energy mixing with hers permeated the mist. It started to condense. Pearl-like bubbles of water collided and swirled around in a thickening stream._

_Kaidan grinned at her out of the corner of his eye. He drew his eyes away, his brow pinching together. His toes edged into the water as he lifted both hands shaping the water in tighter. Waves of water formed. Shepard laughed and pushed harder. The rotating maelstrom glimmered with blue light as they pressed it tighter._

_"_ _So many particles, like sand," Shepard murmured scrunching her face and probably sweating, if she was honest._

 _"_ _Like drawing water up in a strainer."_

_The mist formed a compacted blur of sloshing water, enlarging and glowing._

_"_ _How are we going to move this?" Shepard said._

_Kaidan laughed not taking his eyes off it. "Maybe it's enough we lifted it above the surface."_

_"_ _That was not the challenge."_

 _"_ _I don't think helping you was part of the challenge either."_

 _"_ _Good point." Shepard said. "This wasn't a team challenge, Kaidan."_

 _"_ _Guess next time we'll be more explicit with the rules before firing the gun."_

 _"_ _Next time?"_

 _"_ _There's always a next time."_

 _"_ _Maybe next time, I'll throw the glove at you."_

 _"_ _Do it," Kaidan laughed. "I like a good glove throw down."_

_Shepard breathed out and focused on the watery globe.  "_ _Okay. Let's move it. Slowly."_

_"_ _We better agree on the path."_

_Shepard glanced at the fountain behind them. Maybe twenty meters._

_"_ _Watch it." Kaidan stepped forward._

 _"_ _Oh!" Shepard spun back and raised her drooping hand back up._

_A dollop of water slurped back into the lake. Shepard frowned.  She steadied it with both hands._

_"_ _Damnit," Shepard muttered._

 _"_ _Fifty points. Gone."_

 _"_ _Shut up."_

_Kaidan chuckled and took a step back onto the shore._

_"_ _Wet toes now?" Shepard smirked._

 _"_ _Yep."_

 _"_ _Okay," she said. "Slowly right between us. Fountains about twenty meters behind us."_

 _"_ _Aye, aye, Commander."_

 _"_ _Keep your wits about you, Major. This ball could go at any time."_

 _"_ _I know what I signed on for. Just give the word."_

 _"_ _Okay … right now."_

_Shepard pulled back from Kaidan to leave a path between them. The sphere of water drifted to them dripping a trail of water, mist diffusing out behind it._

_"_ _Keep up, Kaidan."_

 _"_ _You're splashing water out, Shepard."_

_It shuttered forward, and a swish of water sloshed into the lake._

_"_ _See," Kaidan said. "You need to slow down."_

 _"_ _Keep up, and we could maintain the water tension."_

 _"_ _Okay …" Kaidan said._

_The spinning nucleus of water sloshed and rippled. Beading rivulets ran over the blue surface dripping off. Mud sucked at Shepard's boots as she stepped back. The water bubble floated just overhead between them, and Kaidan grinned at her. His eyes darted over her shoulder. The sphere rippled, edges misting and dribbling._

_"_ _Kaidan."_

 _"_ _Shepard …"_

_Kaidan's corona blinked out. Shepard snapped her head around to lover her shoulder, her effect field trembling._

_"_ _Shepard, watch—"_

_Shepard whipped back. Blue light wavered. The bubble burst. Kaidan reeled backward. The water dropped in a heavy slosh into the muddy reeds and sand. Shepard cringed as earthy goo sloshed over them. She hunched to the side frozen for a moment before cracking open her eyes. Her muscles loosened. Swamp gunk oozed down the right side of her face as she straightened._

_Kaidan groaned, face crinkled, and flicking his hands dripping in slime. Sludge painted his uniform. The sleeves of his white shirt stuck opaquely to his upper arm as he stared at her. Streaks of mud glistened on the left side of his face. He must have turned his face away too._

_Shepard released a breath and extended her arms out to inspect. Muck coated her entire right side. She felt at her hair. Goopy on that side. In the corner of her eye, Kaidan snapped into a salute. Shepard wobbly about-face_ _, straightened, and threw up her arm._

_Admiral Hackett stared, mouth unhinged, frozen in the garden pathway. Some crisp-tailored salarians stood behind him bug-eyed and unblinking. Everything stood silent except for the lapping lake water. A human in the back wearing a pressed suit and balding stepped past Hacket._

_"_ _Councilor Mason." He offered his hand._

_Shepard wiped her right hand on the better side of her uniform and shook his hand._

_"_ _Pleasure. Commander Shepard," she said._

_Hackett stumbled forward with stiff, melting limbs._

_"_ _Uh … yes, yes … our two human Spectres, Councilor. And this is Councilor Ilk." Hackett turned to one of the salarians. The salarians started to blink again.  They shifted to reveal one in the back reading his datapad. He lowered it, came forward a step with a sigh, and nodded. Hackett put a hand out toward the balding man in front of them. "This is Councilor Mathew Mason. Councilors, delegates, this is …" Hackett sighed with pinched lips and waved a limp hand their direction. "Spectre Shepard. Spectre Alenko."_

_Kaidan stepped forward and shook Councilor Mason's hand. As he stepped back, he glanced sideways at Shepard with big eyes. Hackett touched his temple shaking his head and turned around._

_"_ _Let's, uh … continue on then, Councilors. I have some members of the Admiral Board I'd like you to meet." He shot a quick glance back their direction, but didn't meet their eyes. "Spectres." He gave a nod and led the group stumbling behind him.  They looked over their shoulders at Shepard and Kaidan, until they rounded the garden hedge. Their footsteps faded in the gravel._

_Kaidan spun to face her. "If we survive this war, I'm going to be mortified about this."_

_"_ _You do look a little flushed."_

_Kaidan tumbled across the gap between them. "How are you not? You're paler than I am!"_

_"_ _Probably just can't see it through the mud."_

_He wiped a thumb across her cheek then laughed. "I'm just making you dirtier." He stared at his hand then dragged it across the front of his uniform. He looked at it again. "Useless, Shepard. Useless."_

_She raked a hand through her goopy hair. She stared at her hand and smiled up at Kaidan._

_"_ _There. On your face. Come here." She stepped closer._

_Kaidan narrowed his eyes but didn't step back._

_Her teeth peeked through the mud. "Let me get that …"_

_He caught her wrist. "No way."_

_She eyed him.  Her grin twisted deeper and his eyebrows drew together. She dropped her head and shook her hair with violence. Mud spewed the air._

_"_ _Shepard!" Kaidan stumbled back, a blue shield faring up._

 _"_ _Using biotics to save yourself, Kaidan?" Shepard raised her face._

_Kaidan laughed, shield dropping, and held up his index finger. "I'm respectfully only using defensive tactics. Though, damn, Shepard. If I wasn't muddy enough."_

_Shepard's eyes wandered to the garden hedge where the delegates had disappeared. She drew in a hot breath seeing their faces staring at her._

_A sputtering laugh broke from between her teeth. "_ _Damnit. That was – I can't believe that happened." She hunched forward with aching ribs. "I'm horrified. It's hitting me now."_

_"_ _About time," Kaidan said. "Everything always hits you later. I can't be horrified alone on this."_

_Shepard grabbed his arms, facing him, as they laughed into each other.  She held his eyes._

_"_ _You're not alone," she said._

_He grinned at her. Her face strained from smiling._

_"_ _I know that," Kaidan said and nodded toward the corner of the hedge, "I'm pretty sure Admiral Hackett is just as horrified."_

_They stood grinning and holding each other's eye. Finally, Shepard dropped her hands from his arm and backed up. Salarian Congressional Capitol. It was unprofessional as was. Kaidan smirked at her, folding his hands under his arms, and stood shoulder to shoulder with her. They looking out over the shaggy hedges and pathways serpentining  through the crab grass. Shepard folded her arms too and couldn't smother the grin pulling into her cheeks. In of the corner of her eye, Kaidan grinned just as wide._

Shepard hunched forward in the shower over her knees. The cooling water washed over her face and down her calves to her toes. She closed her eyes. A smile spread across her lips.


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter 7**

"Major Alenko."

Kaidan slowed to a stop in the hallway and turned as Admiral Hackett strode up behind him. This hallway in the Alliance's council wing didn't have much traffic. Doubtful this was serendipitous.

"Admiral," Kaidan saluted.

Hackett stopped in front of him and returned the salute.

"So, Major. How was your trip to Jump Zero?"

Kaidan hesitated then settled on, "Good."

"Heard some crazy things about your time. These pro-human groups are brazen."

"Only brazen because it didn't go as planned."

According to plan, the warehouse workers should have found Kaidan slumped next to the hacked vid system panel, no one the wiser about how it happened. Kaidan hoped they'd give him a benefit of a doubt and not jump to the conclusion he'd electrocuted himself. Still, a better outcome than if the crate-smashing trick had worked. Probably would have sent some warehouse workers to therapy stumbling across that mess the next the morning.

"A bad turn of events." Hackett nodded. "I was hoping to catch you."

"How did you know where I was?"

"You're reinstated to active duty, Major."

Kaidan shifted on his feet. "Isn't there some probationary sit-down? It hasn't been thirty days yet, sir."

"I know," Admiral Hackett said, "but things are moving forward. After the ballistics on that bullet and crew testimony, it's clear your reservations concerning XO Anchor weren't misplaced. Now that Commander Shepard has been interviewed, the case should be closing out. Summit security is our priority now. What happens later, we'll discuss at another time, but for now, it's been decided to wave the last few days of the suspension."

Kaidan tucked his hands under his arms. "Just like that?"

Hackett gave a firm nod.

"Admiral, no disrespect. This feels pretty unofficial for how officially it was initiated. I didn't even think you were involved, to now be the one telling me this … in a hallway … where you happened to catch me."

"You will receive a more official message later today."

"A message?"

"A message, Major."

Kaidan eyed him but finally nodded. "Okay, sir."

"Look," Hackett sighed. "The suspension wasn't about whether you were right or wrong but over conduct. I don't think those involved in the decision would say, or perhaps believe, they made any error in that decision. However, there is a certain air of embarrassment over it. It's not escaped notice that your efforts lead to the Normandy's rescue. Your insistence in XO Anchor's complicity turned out to be correct. Now having praised him publicly and made him out as tragic victim, the Alliance has … well, you can imagine. Trying to release that fact under the radar really only inflamed the lash back. For all that, while in their minds they're not wrong, they would rather just send a message. I wasn't dispatched to tell you, but I am telling you since I know about it and you're here."

Kaidan stared at the floor and nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Admiral."

"You still report to me though," Hackett said. "Be glad of that."

"I am," Kaidan said. "I've never been happier that you're the one over me, Admiral."

"Then, good. I'm glad we had this chat, Major. I'll be sending you an appointment to discuss some plans for the future."

"Yes, sir." Kaidan glanced down the hall. Admiral Hackett didn't make a move to leave or dismiss him. "I'm sorry. I have an appointment with Councilor Mason, sir."

Hackett smiled. "Let's go then."

"Both of us?" Kaidan said hesitantly. "It's just an informal meet up, sir."

"I'll come with you."

Kaidan didn't move. "Admiral, maybe you shouldn't come. I don't know if you'll like what you hear."

"Really?" Hackett raised his eyebrows but smiled. "That so?"

Kaidan eyed him with a frown. He nodded.

"Well …" Hackett paused. "Perhaps there's important information to discuss for Council and Alliance security, Major. You see, there are some messages. After review, the messages have been deemed immaterial to the case. You're reinstated in active duty. It shouldn't be amiss for me to release them to you. Perhaps your background infiltrating and hunting Terra Firma may give you insights missed on initial review of the documents. I've already granted you classified access. We recovered them off a private datapad recovered off the Normandy. They're Lieutenant Commander Anchor's emails."

Kaidan smiled widely. "You don't say, Admiral."

"I do say, Major. Now, let's go. I think we're late."

 

* * *

 

"The opening ceremony? You're sure?" Mason pushed his folded hands across the desk as he leaned forward.

Kaidan pointed at the datapad under Mason's arms on the desk. "The messages make it sound like the Normandy was supposed to be here that night. Everything points to the Scorpion leaving on the ship. Seems like a getaway."

"Getaway?" Hackett rested an arm on the chair and rubbed a finger across his lips.

"We know something is going to happen during the Summit," Kaidan said. "Terra Firma doesn't want anything decided at the Summit, and they're doing this because it's big and public. What's more important than the opening ceremony? All the greatest contributors to the war efforts - the war heroes, the Council, Alliance leadership – they're all there. There in front of cameras, in front of the entire galaxy. Whatever happens is chronicled and immortalized in history. If the Scorpion takes center stage in that, he'll need a getaway."

Hacket made a hmming sound. "Why leave Earth? Up until last year, Terra Firma was targeting interstellar travel, destroying space ships docked on Earth."

Kaidan turned to him. "Why did they stop? It's the same time they started to really organize and the name 'Scorpion' appeared. Whatever this strike is. I think it's been planned that long."

The leather creaked as Mason leaned back in his chair. He tapped the datapad with a finger.

"The other messages mention targeting the relays. Why take the ship off planet if the relays won't be completed? Just to hold out until things on Earth settle?"

Kaidan shrugged. "I don't know. The list of targets Anchor is directed to target before transferring control to the Scorpion … it's a broad range from targeting human colonies, the relay construction forces, to the Blue Sons."

"Why target the Blue Sons?' Hackett asked.

"Competition. A threat. I don't know."

Mason's expression darkened, eyes straying to a family portrait on his desk. He saw Kaidan watching him and straightened.

"This large-scale assault," he said. "The messages elude to it. Is it just the Scorpion's attack at the Summit's opening ceremonies or something broader?"

"I think …" Kaidan paused then shrugged. "I don't know."

Mason frowned. "What is it, Spectre? I'm not expecting you to _know_. This can be conjecture. I want your honest theory, if you have one."

Kaidan glanced between Mason and Hackett. "I believe there's more than the Scorpion's spectacle at the Summit. The Scorpion will be there, get the attention and credit in this show of power. Important people die. Earth, the galaxy are left in awe or terror. For whatever reason, the Scorpion leaves on the Normandy that's been biding its time sowing discord and removing threats. That's all the big spectacle."

"But you think there's more to it?" Mason asked.

"I think, like you said Councilor, there's an implied larger scale attack. Terra Firma agents are amassing here in Vancouver. They're here for something. Something big enough to draw them all in, their best people. Maybe they're targeting Alliance Council HQ, maybe Vancouver, maybe it's something planet-wide signaled by the spectacle on live vid, I'm not sure. But I think a lot of people, civilians that have nothing to do with it, will be collateral damage."

Mason sighed. "The Council removed, Alliance leadership dead, the most influential war heroes and alien leaders killed. Depending on other targets, if communication and resource lines were cut away, Earth would be thrown into chaos."

"Human anarchy, at least for a time, controling Earth," Kaidan said. "If the relays aren't repaired in Arcturus or Sol, no one comes or goes. Maybe that's what the space ships are for. When the Scorpion came to power, he made them see the long-term goals. If you want to be a separatist, the relays can't be complete. AT some point though, the aliens will want to know what happened, take revenge maybe. Sooner or later someone's making it to the Arcturus cluster, and at some point, they'll want to repair that relay. Maybe the ships are there to defend against that, or maybe Terra Firma just has plans for the surrounding human colonies and space stations."

"Earth in anarchy. The Scorpion defending from above," Mason said.

"And ruling from above then? This Scorpion?" Hackett asked.

"Who knows?" Kaidan said. "Anchor's messages only covered up to the point of transferring the ship to the Scorpion. I haven't uncovered anything about the plans for afterward."

"Maybe they haven't thought that far," Hackett said.

"The Scorpion will have," Kaidan said. "Terra Firma in general with its heterogenicity and disorganization, maybe not have planned that far. There are layers to Terra Firma though. Anchor had a deleted message referring to a surprise for the Scorpion. I don't think it's a good one."

"A group inside working against the Scorpion?" Mason asked.

"They're on our side then?" Hackett asked.

"I think they're their own side," Kaidan said. "Maybe some of the members don't think they need the Scorpion around bossing things after they've made their goal."

They sat silent for a moment. Mason stirred.

"What about these alien mercs working for them? Why work for a pro-human agenda. What do they think will happen after Terra Firma seizes control?"

"Maybe they don't know the plan," Kaidan offered. "Or they've been promised something."

"Well," Mason said at last spreading his hands across the desk. "I will share this information among the Council. I imagine it's best to keep this close to the chest. We need whatever leg up we can get. Other than the other councilors, it won't be shared."

Hackett nodded. "Agreed. There is …" Hackett paused as if searching for how to say it. "There's some concern over infiltration in Alliance leadership. This isn't known for sure, but there have been anomalies - information leaked from high levels and tampering. Some of its outside hacking but some things? It can't be explained. Alenko, pass this information where you see fit, but I don't …" Hackett's brow knitted, and he sighed. "I'll leave it here. I'm not passing it along. I don't want any report or message about this, at least not until after the fact. For now, you and I haven't met about this, Alenko. You have proper access to the information. You won't be in trouble for digging and using Alliance resources, but don't come by my office. If you need me, find me around."

Kaidan frowned as a heaviness settled over him. No Alliance help. To distrust them even, for now. Hackett was backing off. Kaidan glanced at Mason. There was the Council, but for all purposes and effects, Kaidan was on his own.

"Councilor," the comm on Mason's desk said.

Mason pressed his lips with a frown and pushed the intercom button. "I asked you to hold my—"

"It's a Class A message, Councilor."

Mason's eyes widened. He scooted forward in his chair and leaned toward the intercom.

"Did they say what it's about?"

"Yes, Councilor," the voice paused. "Councilor, it's about the Mass Effect Shard. The armed transfer to the ship, there were complications."

"And the shard?" Mason stood, finger white from pressure on the intercom key.

"Gone, Councilor."

Mason's eyes snapped to Kaidan's. Kaidan exhaled sharply and slouched back in the chair. He rubbed a thumb against his temple and glanced at Hackett. They all had the same expression.


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter 8**

Cameras and reporters mingled with the roaring crowd in civilian attire and Alliance uniforms erupting around Shepard. She pushed through them off the loading ramp into the terminal and held her datapad up to block the flash of lights. Voices yelled questions as bodies clamored against her. A pair of C-sec officers shoved through and flanked her. They pushed away the crowd for her to pass.

"Commander Shepard!" one of the reporters yelled. "What happened on the Normandy?"

"Commander Shepard, did you know your XO was involved in a terrorist plot?"

"Commander, were you seriously injured? Did it take a month to fully recover?"

"Are you back for the Summit? Will you be taking part?"

"Bloody reporters," Miranda muttered shoving up beside Shepard.

Liara stumbled along at Shepard's heels. "Shepard, can you see where we're going?"

"Just keep up." Shepard bulled ahead. C-sec moved slightly ahead turning the crowd aside like a plow.

The crowd pursued her all the way to the Alliance leadership wing. The Alliance guard's eyes widened as Shepard neared trailing a storm of reporters. Miranda and Liara fell back as they approached the hallway entrance. Shepard gave them a firm nod and flashed her ID at the twitching guards manning the desk. One of the guards called into his Omni-Tool for security. C-Sec held their arms out fencing away the surging crowd yelling out to her. She plunged past security and down the central hallway. She cut down the first corner taking a deep breath. The roaring voices faded behind her as she strode down the hall.

She returned some salutes walking down the hall before slow at the office door. She had to get it over with. With all the reporters, vids probably live right now, they'd know she was back. Putting off checking in with the Alliance would only cause problems.

The assistant's moussed hair bobbed as he looked up from the desk. He motioned to the couch with a duck-billed press to his lips. He didn't go through the usual farce of wondering who she was and if she had an appointment. Shepard sank onto the edge of the couch and sat stiffly. Now for the tenderizing marinade of waiting, probably while Wilson played minesweep on his Omni-Tool watching the timer until he figured she'd soaked long enough. Then would come the chewing part. As far as she knew, she wasn't in any sort of trouble, but that didn't mean much. She was always in trouble anymore.

The assistant pranced to his feet pulling up the collar on his uniform before crossing to Wilson's office door. He smoothed a strand of hair in place and punched the door's button. Shepard frowned rising hesitantly to her feet. The assistant gave a simple wave of the hand to the doorway. He made eye contact with her, a little sneering, but clearly directing the motion to her. She hadn't even been waiting two minutes. She plodded to Admiral Wilson's office.

He sat with steepled fingers at his desk.  "Thank you, Anthony. Commander Shepard."

"Admiral Wilson." Shepard saluted.

He pushed his chair back, stood, and returned the salute.

"Sit." He waved at the chair in front of his desk, even gave a smile. "How are you feeling?"

Shepard froze. This was more alarming than if he'd pulled a cat o' nine tails from the desk drawer and circled her patting it in one palm. This was worse, she just didn't know how yet.

"I'm well," she offered slowly coming forward.

He lowered himself back into his chair.  She took a seat facing the desk.

"So, Commander …"

"Yes, sir?"

"You'll be involved in the Summit, I take it?"

"Yes."

Wilson nodded and rocked back in his chair. "You've finished your interviews for the investigation? Made the proper reports?"

Between sitting on the station and pacing in the cabin on the ship ride back, she'd had plenty of time to finish her reports.

"And you've submitted everything?" he asked.

She nodded again.

"Very well." He spread his hands on the desk. "Anything you need from the Alliance, right now?"

Shepard eyed him. Perhaps he thought there was something specific she needed, meant to entrap her somehow. Hell if she knew how though.

"No," she said at last.

"Very well." He sat forward, pushed off the desk, and stood.

Shepard stopped herself from twisting her fingers in her lap. She pressed her palms flat on her legs and straightened as he circled.

"So, Commander Shepard," he murmured. "That was an awful mess."

Here it was then.

"We're aware of Anchor's involvement now. At the time, he was an exceptional officer. His track record unassailable." Wilson puffed out a long breath and shook his head. "Absolutely shocking turn of events. His betrayal has shaken the very core of the Alliance. If a mole like that can go undetected, how many more could there be? How many more lives could be lost. Sickens us. Sickens me."

He pressed a palm to his chest with a deep frown. Shepard strained to see him behind her as he paced to a window.

"The lives lost to this …" He drew in a sharp breath looking out the window. He turned with slow blinking eyes. "Per the accounts of James Vega and the other crew, you're credited with stopping the takeover. Many more lives may have been lost, beyond even just the crew, if they'd gotten hold of that ship."

Shepard waited.

"What do you think of Lieutenant Commander Vega?" Wilson asked.

Shepard cocked her head and smoothed out a frown. Strange segway.

"He's a better marine than Anchor ever was, even on paper. As far as Anchor is what's wrong in a soldier, Commander Vega is what's right. You can trust him. He's an exceptional officer."

Wilson's mouth turned up thoughtfully.  He nodded to himself returning to his desk but didn't sit down.  "He acted commendably in managing the crew in the crisis and has been helpful in reconstructing the events, giving insights. He recovered some important materials, though that may not have been all his own doing. He's showed leadership under pressure and seems to have the respect of the crew. There may be some bigger things coming for Vega. Coming for you too."

Wilson's eyes turned to her. Shepard smiled weakly. Work your way too high, and you rode a desk instead of a starship.

"Don't worry, Commander." Wilson watched her. "We're not taking away the Normandy. She'll be yours again after she's been mopped up."

"All right."

"You'll just have a fancier name for your XO to announce when you come on deck. An XO you get to choose this time. I'll send you files to review. New crew."

Shepard considered for a moment before saying it.  "Sir, I don't know how much I can get from reading personnel files."

"Interview them then. No reason you can't see what they're about before choosing someone."

"Thanks, sir."

Shepard's back stiffened. Her guard was starting to go down. She needed to focus. Wilson tapped the desk with his fingertips before moving to his chair. He paused.

"That's it, Commander." He smoothed his uniform as he lowered himself down. "Long as you're done."

Shepard watched him guardedly. He folded his hands on the desk and waited.

"I am, Admiral."

"Good. I don't need to see you until after the Summit."

Shepard stood slowly.  "Understood, sir."

She backed up to the door then turned away.

"Shepard?"

Shepard froze. She knew it. Wilson's chair creaked as he stood. She turned slowly mustering a smile.

"Next time," he said, "let's talk a little more about a problem onboard. I won't be as quick to dismiss it."

Shepard stared at him, her joints thawing, and swallowed.  "Thanks, Admiral."

As the doors to his office slid close behind her, she frowned. Alliance staff nodded as they passed by her. She moved with shuffling steps and glanced back at the office again. No one was chasing her down and waving her back for a final word. That really was it then. Maybe she hadn't actually woken up from the coma.

 

* * *

 

Club music pulsed. It beat in Shepard's chest with more force than her heart. Violet and red lights swirled blinding her. Club goers gawked and whispered as she passed. Some openly flashed smiles at her and raised martini glasses in her direction. One man, shoved out by his buddies, stumbled toward her with an alcoholed grin. Behind him, his friends hooted. Shepard mixed into the dancers as he craned to look over the heads. He receded from view in the hot mingling of bodies and lights.

Her celebrity was becoming intolerable. She'd have to change her hair or wear sunglasses everywhere. There was hysteria over the Normandy coup.  For some reason it drew in the public - the XO mole and the Langley Trojan Horse. Trojan horse … She grinned so widely it hurt her cheeks. Damnit, she knew what a horse was! What an ass.

"Shepard! Over here!"

Shepard twisted her head and raised on her tippy toes to see over an amorous pair of humans running hands over each other as they danced. Tali stood up from a table by the wall and waved her over. Shepard dodged around a busty brunette laughing with her friends then ducked past a waiter carrying drinks above his head.

"Hey, Commander." Joker scooted to make room on the horse-shoed bench, but Shepard drew a chair over instead. She plopped it down between Tali and Joker.

"Hey, guys," Shepard said looking around at the four faces.

"How long you been out bailando, Lola?" Vega stood and fist bumped her over the table. "I'll baliamos toda la noche with you."

"Dangerous undertaking, James." Garrus raised a glass to her. "There's brave and then there's foolhardy. Running at a charging brute - brave. Asking Shepard to dance - I'll let you decide."

"Not all of us here have your way with the beat," Tali said.

"Not anymore," Garrus agreed. "Shepard just sat down."

"Ha ha. Laugh it up." Shepard rolled her eyes. "You're just sore I'm a better shot than you. But you can comfort yourself knowing you'd beat me in a dance off, Garrus."

"Woo, woo," James laughed clanking his glass into Garrus's.

"Right," Garrus said. "How about a show down shooting cans and doing the four step? Game, Shepard?"

Shepard accepted a martini from a waiter.

"You'll need a lot more in me that this, Garrus."

Joker chuckled and pointed at the bar behind her. "Uh, we didn't order that for you, Commander. I think you're that guy's date now."

Shepard spun her head to the bar. "Oh, damn."

"You're looking at the red head with the beard, right?" James asked. "Not that vorcha?"

Shepard turned a sour face to him. "Right, James."

He held up his hands. "I don't know your tastes. Didn't want you disappointed at the end of the night when it's the red head trying to loop you into the cab."

"I figured it out by the waggling red eyebrows."

"And the wink," Joker said. "Don't forget the wink."

"Aww." Tali's head turned to the bar. "What do I have to do for free drinks?"

"Uh …" James motioned to the elevated stage.  Asari dancers twisted and arched to the beat. "They get free drinks. Guaranteed."

"Oh," Tali said.

"Don't worry, Kid." Garrus put an arm around her shoulder. "I've got you covered."

"I suppose that means I have to go home with you now."

"You'd better. I'm not letting James take you home."

James waved at the waiter then turned to Garrus. "Uh, I've seen your shot with that scope. I'd be muerto before you finished the first box step. I ain't going there. Sorry, Tali, no offense."

"None taken. The blood would stain my suit."

Garrus squeezed her under his arm. "I'd wait until Vega was stepped back.  Nothing a good cleaner couldn't get it out."

"Good, good.  It's my best suit."

"Uh," James tapped the table with his fingers. "We're not really planning this, right?"

"I know it's your best suit," Garrus continued to Tali. "I like it on you and I like it …"

"And this is where it gets awkward." Joker put his face into a pint of beer.

" … off of you," Garrus finished and looked challengingly around at them.

James chuckled. "Damn. Woulda wagered you going with 'on the floor.' Good thing a booker wasn't around."

"If it's on the floor, James." Tali leaned forward. "It would get dirty or, at least, wrinkled."

"And it's her favorite suit," Garrus said.

"Aw. Thanks," Tali leaned back with a wobble. "Whoa."

Garrus grinned at her. "No, you can lean all the way back. We're in a booth this time."

"Oh, oh. Good. Good. I'll do that then."

"Uh … I don't need to know," James laughed.

"I can imagine." Shepard swirled the last of her martini around the glass.

"You gonna eat that olive, Lola?"

"Yeah, I don't want it." She held the glass out to him.

James stood and plucked the olive out of the glass, put the toothpick in his mouth, and drew out it out from between his lips. He flicked it onto the table.

Garrus elbowed James and pointed with his head at the bar. "Think you turned that guy on over there, Vega."

"Not my vorcha, right?" Shepard spun to look.

A shaved head with vines and skulls tattooed up his arms leaned across the bar.  He whispered something in the bartender's ear and motioned in their direction.

"Well, well." Shepard turned back. "I guess I'm not the only one getting bought tonight."

"Oh damn." James laughed.

"I wish I could pull a toothpick out between my teeth," Tali mumbled.

"Hey, I got you covered, remember?" Garrus said.

Joker chuckled. "Uh, Tali. You pull it out with your teeth, they'll be running off. You gotta pull it out all sultry between plumped lips. Like James did."

"Yeah, James." Shepard drained her martini glass and smacked it down on the table. "I need another drink. Do it again."

"What? I ain't doing it again. And when my drink does come, Lola, it's mine, not yours. I earned it."

"With my olive!" Shepard said.

"It's like a gun, Shepard," Garrus said. "Got to use it right to get the bang out of it."

"Sitting in my glass was 'no bang,' huh?"

"See anyone else buying you a drink?" Garrus said. "Definitely 'no bang.'"

"She's already paid for." Tali motioned in her direction. "She's going home with the red head."

"True," James shrugged. "Kind of like throwing credits down the well."

"Yeah? Look who's talking," Shepard said.

A waiter lowered a tray with a pint of beer. James froze. Garrus plucked it off the tray and plopped it in front of James.

"Maybe it's actually from that sexy, dark haired chica over there?" James looked around the table with a strained smile. 

"Been watching you oogle her on the dance floor," Garrus said. "She hasn't looked this way."

Shepard smiled. "Hey, I could—"

"Oh, damn." James's face turned deer-like. "Oh, sh—"

"Vega's date's on his way over to collect." Joker laughed turning his face down to his glass.

"Quick. Someone take a drink of this, then it ain't mine." James edged it toward Joker. "I haven't had any."

"Like, cool down, James." Joker nudged it back. "He looks like a nice guy.  Pretty sure there's still uninked space on his body for your name one day."

"Joker, I'm gonna—"

"Here." Shepard reached over the table and grabbed the pint of beer. She took a long slurp and turned back at the tattooed man. He stopped dead in his tracks halfway to their table. Shepard lifted the mug to him, raising her eyebrows, and making a shooting motion with her free hand. He pulled his head back, lips retracted.

"Whoa, Shepard." Joker laughed. "That face says more than a string of insults."

The tattooed man stumbled backward and turned reluctantly to the bar. He glanced back at them, mouth still slightly ajar. Shepard held up her pint and looked over her raised shoulder with a wink. He whipped his head back to the bar.

"Damn, Lola," James chuckled. "You know how to charm the barflies."

"Whoa, look." Joker hunched forward with a shaking laugh. "I think you insulted your sponsor, Shepard."

The red head glared, slammed his mug down on the bar, and stalked away through the crowd.

"Well then." Shepard sank back into the chair.

"Guess it's a cold night for you tonight, Shepard." Garrus grinned.

"My plans for a litter of gingers  … gone. Damn." Shepard took a long pull of beer then looked over at James with a smirk. "See, got it after all. Ta da."

"Ta da, Lola?" James motioned around his mouth. "You got a beer mustache going on."

"Real attractive, Shepard," Garrus agreed. "Maybe the vorcha'll like it."

"You think?" Shepard whipped her head to the bar straining to look then turned back as if disappointed. "He wasn't looking."

Joker snorted. "That's what I'd do too if a woman with a mustache was checking me out."

James shrugged. "Depends on the beer. For the mustache. If it's lite stuff, then no way, but that stuff's good. Walk around a little, Lola. Your chances ain't bad."

Shepard cocked her head with a smirk. "What about you, James? Want a taste?"

"Uh …"

Shepard wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

"Why'd you do that?" Joker poked her. "The vorcha's looking now."

"Really?" Shepard took a full swig of beer and spun around. "Where is he?"

"Did you get the mustache again?" Garrus asked. "Turn here."

"What do you think, Tali?" Shepard turned her head.

"Poor kid's asleep," Garrus said.

"There goes your hot hook up too, huh, Scars?" James cackled. "Hard night for the buyers."

"The tattooed human could've had Shepard, no questions asked," Garrus said. "Practically threw herself at him, beer mustache, and all."

"That was before I got my 'stache, Garrus."

"You musta shaved. It's gone now." Garrus drank from his glass. "This is almost gone."

Joker leaned into Shepard. "Get a wide enough mug, you could get a full beard going."

Shepard grinned. "I'd be beating off the vorcha then."

"What?" Tali bolted upright. "Is there a fight?"

"What?" James laughed twisting to look at her. "What's she talking about?"

"Shepard wants to beat on some vorcha," Garrus leaned his face close to Tali's, "but she's not actually going to do it. Right, Shepard?"

"No," Shepard sighed. "I'm almost out of beer. How would I lure them?"

"And I only see one," Joker said.

"Might have friends outside. But," Shepard shook her head sadly. "I'll never know. Alas, I'm out of beer." She reached across the table for the discarded toothpick and flicked it at James. "Another!"

James batted it away. "Get your own. I'm not enabling your vorcha debauchery."

"Oh, damn." Shepard stretched back laughing. "You think they bite?"

"Looks like they do." James shrugged.

"Shepard, Shepard, Shepard." Tali swayed leaning over and draped an arm over Shepard.

"Don't steal my date, Shepard," Garrus said. "You heard my warning to James."

Shepard scooted her chair closer to the bench and put her arm around Tali. She grinned at Garrus.  "I'd stay in nice and close, Garrus. Remember. It's her best suit."

"Damn you, Shepard." Garrus waved a taloned fist at her. "Why can't human blood be clear?"

"We are, like, 75% aqua or something," James said.

"Don't think it's 75% water for all of us." Joker poked Shepard's empty pint. "Right, Commander?"

"I only had two."

"You're a twig, Lola. Two for you is like ten for the Vega."

"Which is like a shot glass for Tali." Joker pointed at her.

Tali's head drooped against Shepard's shoulder. Shepard patted her arm.  "It's okay, Tali. We girls'll stick together."

"Oh, good," Tali mumbled. "That's just … so, so good …"

"Damn, Scars. You carry her home every night?"

"Her home, my home. Same place. Inconvenience isn't high."

"Carrying her every night though? I thought you were looking buffer, hombre." James grinned.

"You see that through my suit, do you?"

"Well, no. You're neck's more … strapping."

Joker smirked. "And that's how he gets all the men."

Shepard glanced back at the bar. "The vorcha might like that line, James."

"You're obsessed with that vorcha, Lola." James pointed at her. "I told you. You're on your own. I see you tomorrow and one side of your neck's all chewed up, remember we had this conversation."

Joker slapped the table. "Nice."

James put up a palm, and Joker slapped it.

Garrus looked over at Shepard and mouthed, "What does that mean?"

"Try it, Garrus," Shepard motioned. "You might like it."

"Put it there, Scars. Give me … uh, three? How many you got there?"

Tali pulled upright from under Shepard's arm. "Is someone buying me drinks? Did someone say they were buying me drinks?"

Garrus clapped James on the shoulder. "I changed my mind. Vega, Shepard … whichever one of you wants to pick up the tab, you can have her for tonight. Tonight only."

"I'm not good enough?" Joker sputtered.

"Sure, you too, Joker. But whoever says 'yes,' you're cleaning the vomit out of the ecosuit."

"Eww." Joker sat back.

"Pass."

"Pass."

"Oh, damn." Garrus reached over and drew Tali close. "Guess it's me and you again, Kid."

"That's my favorite anyway." She collapsed against him.

"Aww," Shepard slouched back with a grin.

Tali slumped against Garrus as he rubbed her arm. James beat his hands on the table to the rhythm of the music and eyeed the brunette on the dance floor.  Joker looked at Shepard sideways and grinned. 

"Commander." He raised his glass.

"Joker." She lifted her empty mug.

She was happy to be alive.

* * *

 

The four of them loitered by the skycar terminal, the club music still throbbing behind them. Rhythmic lights reflecting across the landing pad from the open door. Joker swayed on his crutches beside her looking up at the night sky. Shepard glanced up.  No moon tonight.

Garrus supported Tali dropping against him. "I think 'dibs' is what you humans say, so … dibs."

"No fair." James put his hands on his hips. "Didn't know the first skycar was up for dibs."

"Everything's up for dibs," Shepard agreed.

"Thanks, Shepard," Garrus said. "Way to respect the system."

"Bah!" James pawed a hand at them.

Tali pulled herself up straighter on Garrus's shoulder. "Shepard, we're glad you came back from that awfulness."

Shepard shifted on her feet. "Uh, thanks, Tali."

"Pretty damn rough, Shepard," Garrus said. "But you're alive.  Again."

"Yeah," Shepard said. "Wish there were more who could say that."

"Hey, you did what you could," Garrus said. "Like you always do."

"This time though," Shepard shrugged, "didn't feel like enough."

"Ah, Shepard. You can't save the galaxy every time," Garrus said.

"Scars, is right, Lola. You did what you could. Don't even know what would have gone down, if you hadn't been there."

"I guess," Shepard sighed. "Sure."

"Don't worry about it," James smiled. "You did good. You're still standing. Come back fighting another day."

"Right," Shepard swallowed. Her throat dry.

"Here it is." Garrus twisted to the lights in the sky. "My dibs."

"You go ahead," James said. "I think my party quota ain't quite reached. Besides, that brunette's still in there. I'm going back in. Wish me luck."

Joker smirked. "Wish you luck or wish you get lucky?"

James grinned and backed toward the door. "I'm James Vega. I don't need luck to get lucky."

Garrus helped a wobbly Tali into the skycar. Tali melted into her seat and gave a weak wave 'good bye.'

Garrus paused halfway in. "You're going to the memorial tomorrow, right, Shepard?"

"See you there," Shepard said.

"Skycar?" Tali lolled her head against Garrus. "Embassy's too far off route."

"We left the shuttle at the restaurant, remember?"

"Oh, oh, yeah. No, I don't remember that."

Garrus gave a nod and sealed the door. The skycar lifted off. Another one wasn't in sight yet. James had already vanished into the pounding glow of the club.

Shepard looked over at Joker.  "Fight you for the next one."

"Says the Champion of the Galaxy to the guy on crutches. Classy, Shepard."

"I'd let you get in the first hit."

"You died, what, three times and came back swinging? First hit won't do much."

"I suppose," Shepard said.

Joker glanced around them.  "Hey, uh, Shepard?"

"Uh huh?"

Joker shifted on his crutches and looked around them one more time.  "About that stuff you told me on Normandy. I don't, like, blame you or anything. You know, for EDI or whatever. What I said," Joker chewed the corner of his lip and straightened his baseball cap with one hand. "That stuff about wishing you'd died and all. I didn't really mean that."

Shepard smiled. "Hey, if you could wish me dead and it worked, I'd be pretty pissed you weren't pulling that out for the reapers. Woulda saved a lot of property damage."

"Guess so."

"I get it though." Shepard shrugged. "Loss can mess you up. Know that pretty well by now."

"It sucks. First my family, then EDI. I don't know, kinda feels like it's all or nothing, you know? Push stuff away. Guess it feels better choosing to lose something when everything else just gets taken. Some control when everything else's gone to hell."

Shepard raised her eyebrows. "Joker … that's actually pretty insightful."

"Yeah, that's usually why I stop before that last pint."

"It's a good side of you."

"Uh … yeah. Now this is all sentimental and crap. Let's talk about beer mustaches again or the X180 suspension drive. Something."

"Here's a skycar." Shepard nodded at the lights nearing in the darkness.

"You can have it," Joker said.

"There's another behind it. Just go."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

It landed.  Joker slid his crutches in first then hopped inside. He gave a tipsy salute as the skycar lifted away. Shepard listened to the club music standing alone in the darkness. She tightened folded arms against her chest, and squinted up at the approaching hum of a skycar.

A salty breeze gusted through Shepard's hair as she rushed up to the skycar's door. It popped open. An Alliance officer looked up at her - lower rank, unfamiliar, dark hair. He ducked under the shuttle door and hoped out with a sideways smile before continuing down the landing to the street. The bright outline of his uniform faded into the dark.

The shuttle's door started to close. Shepard lunged and caught it. She glanced back along the landing, but he was gone. Shepard climbed into the seat and settled against the door as it clicked shut. The neons of the club dimmed away as it lifted.

Shepard leaned her temple against the glass and watched it fog with each breath. Leaving the barrage of lights, music, and movement, her eyes adjusted to the dark, ears ringing in the silence. Away from the nightlife and back home. She frowned. HQ wasn't really home, just a room. She wasn't really sure where home even was. The Normandy, probably.

A hollowness gaped open inside. She frowned.  She'd been surrounded with so many people tonight, a club full of raucous movements and bodies, joking and cajoling with her closest friends. It didn't make sense how she could feel so alone.


	78. Chapter 78

**Chapter 9**

Kaidan paged down the datapad's screen as he paced across his room. It felt better to be up and moving after sitting at his desk for hours reviewing his team's reports from Tokyo. His older reports from Prague filled the screen on his desk illuminating the dark room. Kaidan tossed the datapad down on the desk. Spectre reports were just as unhelpful.

There wasn't any reference to this Terra Firma meeting Allers mentioned. Maybe it wasn't even real. If there was a larger attack being planned, it was going to be impossible to counter without any real information. The key was that meeting, if it was real. It was too late to try infiltrating them here. There were no contacts and out of the few agents who'd worked their way in, none of them were involved in this gathering in Vancouver. They knew of an attack, sure, but nothing specific, nothing useful.

Kaidan closed his eyes, rubbed them with his fingertips, and released a long breath. He should have turned a lamp on when the room dimmed. Looking at bright lights in the dark? He knew the recipe. A light blinked on his Omni-Tool. His finger hovered over the button to check his messages. He let his hand drop and paced again.

He wasn't going to be able to sleep unless he took something. He didn't want to take any more sleep aids. He'd had too many weird dreams lately, fragmented. Remembering them on waking was like grabbing at smoke. No sleep aids tonight. He didn't even want any pills for the headache. It could have its way with him tonight. No drugs, no dreams. Kaidan paused by his bed. No drugs, no sleep either though. He glanced out the window at the darkness. He just needed to get out of this cage.

He rushed through the halls before finding an exit. Wet air chilled him as he rushed through the doors. The blackness enveloped him. On Headquarters's perch above the city, night felt dark and still, except for the city lights in the distance below and the far-off murmur of passing shuttles. Dark miles of lawn stretched to the dim shadows of the distant mountains. HQ was being built up along the coastal side. There was a new expansion every month pratically. The building was becoming a metropolis, but for now, this side was undeveloped, acres of rolling grassy slopes.

The Memorial Gardens spread out to his left running all the way to the ocean cliffs. Slab-like monuments rose in shadowy rows. Kaidan didn't want to see the columns of names glinting off the bronze plaques. Kaidan turned the other direction.

Dew dampened his pant legs as he brushed through the grass turning east. The dark part of Vancouver spread out in front of him. If the darkness rolled back, he knew what he'd see below - the moth-eaten frames of skyscrapers, collapsing shopping centers, broken shuttles, crumbling arches and pedestrian bridges - the dead part of Vancouver, not yet rebuilt.

Darkness thickened as he left the building lights behind. This was real night. On a ship or a station, day and night were arbitrary constructs. Night was a twelve-hour period of reduced staffing with nonessential operations suspended. It was just you telling yourself, "This is night time." Here though, night really was night.

He sank down onto the wet grass and rested his elbows on his knees. The living part of the city, sparking with buildings and skycar lights, spread to his left around the bay. The dead part, a stretch of blackness, spanning out to his right. In between ran a gray line where reconstruction was underway, where it was neither living nor dead but suspended somewhere in between. That felt familiar, living in the gray line.

Shepard was back. He'd seen it on the vids. The crowds had mobbed her - C-Sec officers shoving reporters back and yelling up at the buzzing camera lenses, Miranda and Liara flanking her as she ducked under the flashes. Quite the return party. Shepard had to hate it.

His Omni-Tool strobed a dim light across the blades of grass at his side. He should just read the message. It was juvenile just ignoring it. He sighed and punched it up before he could double think it. He ran his eyes over it and dismissed it. He hadn't even needed to read it even. Same thing, Liara wanted to talk to him. His chest throbbed matching the pain in his forehead. It was good to be out where it was cool, dark, and quiet.

He flopped back in the grass. He was committed now, utterly and thoroughly damp. It felt good to be in the grass though, feel it tickling the back of his neck, and the cool, damp blades sticking to his arms. The stars glittered above him. He breathed in and out tasting the earthy, wet air. He closed his eyes.

_He sat with Shepard at a white linen tablet set with detailed silverware. Angelo's read across the top of the datapad menu. Shepard set it aside, folded her hands on the table, and gave him a red-lipped smile._

_"_ _I told you we didn't need reservations. You wanted to go to Basil. Ha," Shepard said. "Well, we could have gotten in there too, but it's not as nice. Why settle for second when you can have this." She nodded around them. "Right? Nice? I think they make you keep your elbows off the table though. So, you know, glass half full, half empty, you decide – clean silverware, no elbows. Hey, what were you saying before? You think any of those messages –"_

_A commotion in the corner made her swing her head around. A man stood up from a bent knee by one of the tables. A woman touched her finger. Platinum hair fell back from her face as she looked up at him with a shining grin. A few tables around them clapped._

_Shepard rolled her eyes and turned back. "Corporal Vance. Worked together on The Liberty. That will make number four. Have to congratulate her later, I guess." She picked up her wine glass and took a sip. "Uh, anyway, lost my train of thought – of yeah. I've gotten all sorts of messages. 'Fans' and adamantly 'not fans.' Even had this asari come up to me at the Dungeon, convinced Garrus to give it another try. Anyway, bumped into me, spilled my drink, don't even know what it was. Then when she's cleaning me off with a napkin leaves me with this cryptic message written on the sticky thing. Warns me not to speak at the Summit."_

_She sat back swirling the wine in her glass and looked back at him. "No, it's nothing. Not a threat. I'm just giving you an example. I get that stuff all the time. Just, that was memorable. Garrus jabbed me for being slipped her number, which I wasn't." Shepard blinked at him and shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Here – she was drunk. I was concerned for a moment. Followed her, but when I heard her around the corner – wasted. Going on about the s-summit, stutter with the name. Wrong place, wrong time. Obviously, someone worked up over the Summit, saw me, recognized me, made a fool of herself either yanking my chain for giggle or just really that wasted."_

_Shepard turned away for a second. When she turned back to him, she frowned. "I'm fine. Don't worry. I shouldn't have said anything. It was funny. Think I should go congratulate them now? The hubbub's died down enough? Probably saw me looking. Awkward if I don't. You need a refill? Let me see if …"_

Kaidan woke with a gasp and blinked up at the dawn sky. He sat up, skin clammy, and grass prints crisscrossing the back of his arms. With a deep breath, he rubbed a hand over his face. His face actually had dew on it. He brushed off blades of glass as he got to his feet. The city was waking up down below. Sunlight crested the mountains.

He rubbed the chill out of his arms. He'd dreamed. He actually even remembered it - Shepard, the upscale restaurant. He tried to remember a time on Citadel when they may have gone somewhere like that. Never. He'd never seen her in that dress either. He'd remember. There wasn't a Summit being planned back then. It had to more recent then. She'd mentioned the Dungeon, that was Vancouver. He'd hardly seen her since arriving on Earth. No, it had never happened.

Strangely specific though. Clear for a dream - Angelo's restaurant, Corporal Vance. He brought up a search field on his Omni-Tool. This was crazy. He searched Alliance records for Vance. A string of Vances filled up the search que for Alliance military. The only corporal was a man Kaidan didn't recognize. He breathed out an easy breath and paused on the list of names. The corporal could have been promoted Kaidan supposed. He dismissed the profile with a flick and brought up the next name. He frowned and enlarged the profile picture - the woman at the restaurant, the same dimple and platinum A-line. She'd been promoted, moved to Reno, but she'd been in Vancouver and still a Corporal months ago. An extranet search even brought up an engagement announcement. Then man in the photo was the same one standing up from bended knee. Another search confirmed, she'd served on the Liberty with Shepard.

Kaidan's heart thumped. He dropped his arm to his side and stared down at the city. Buildings and skycar lights unfocused as his mind raced. Maybe he'd seen the announcement somewhere in the news. He could have met Vance during his time in the Alliance. Maybe Shepard had talked about her. It could all be rolling around in his subconscious.

He hung his head and pressed fingers to his eyelids. He had to look, confirm it one way or the other. He swallowed and brought up the extranet screen again. He typed in "Angelo's." A restaurant downtown Vancouver glowed on the screen. He stared at the address for a long time before snapping his Omni-Tool off. He released a long, slow breath before spinning around and marching back to the building. Angelo's was down by the bay near the Emerald Tower, near Liara's building. It wasn't a dream. It was a memory, and it hadn't been his.


	79. Chapter 79

**Chapter 10**

"I know, Wrex."

"Only a few days left, Shepard."

"I am aware. I'll see what I can do."

Shepard stepped around Wrex in the Council wing's hallway. His clan wasn't with him today. When she'd met with Wrex the day before, the krogans had wrestled into a table of Omni-Tool mods in headquarters's mercantile section. A small krogan broke through a window. After Wrex stopped laughing, he sternly dressed them down, then laughed again afterward. Mixed messages, but that criticism didn't seem to resonate with Wrex. At least today, the krogan entourage wasn't here stirring up a commotion as the Council gathered.

"I've got to go. I'll check in with you later."

"Tick tock, Shepard."

She frowned back at him but continued into the Council chamber. It'd been a long time since being in here. She'd logged so many hours staring at this ceiling. A few months off felt like returning from sabbatical. Shepard moved through the gathering audience. They crowded the aisles shaking hands and joining loud discussions.

"Spectre." Tevos looked up from the stage's long, narrow table as Shepard approached.

She pushed through the banister's gate to the stage. A C-Sec officer looked over sharply then glanced at the Councilors. His posture relaxed, and he returned to surveying the crowd. Mason and Sparatus sat in their usual spots reviewing what was probably pre-meeting notes. Mason raised his head with a smile.

"Spectre Shepard."

"Councilors." She came all the way up to the table.

"That business on the Normandy was an atrocity," Tevos said.

"Agreed," Shepard said. "Thanks. But—wait, where's Councilor Ilk?"

Sparatus grumbled. "We have twenty minutes until the session starts. He has more important things to do than be early for a meeting."

"That so?" Shepard said. "Well, that's unfortunate. I hoped he'd be here."

"Oh, he will," Sparatus said. "In nineteen minutes. You're not usually here early yourself, Shepard, otherwise you'd know this."

More Alliance officials, Council delegates, and ambassadors streamed through the entrances filling the room. It was a larger group than normal with the Summit nearing and so many important representatives coming into the city.

"The Laurel will be at the end of the opening ceremony, Shepard," Tevos said. "You're a key figure for the Summit. You've seen the agenda?"

"Has it been released?"

"Unofficially," Mason said. "I'll send it to you. You've heard about the Mass Effect shard, I suppose?" Mason asked.

Shepard's muscles tightened. "Yes. Yes, I did."

"The Alliance is searching for it. Likely a Terra Firma hit. Until then, the relay's construction is stalled," Mason said.

"The media doesn't know about this?" Shepard said.

"No," Tevos confirmed. "If it can't be recovered soon, we'll announce it at the conclusion of the Summit. We'll make contingencies. It's been several days though and nothing."

"I'm sure they'll be some leads before long," Shepard said, then pressed her hand on the table and leaned into them. "Okay, listen. I know Urdnot Wrex has been trying to talk to you."

Tevos frowned and sat back in her chair with crossed arms. Sparatus sighed lifting his datapad off the table and started to read. Mason on the opposite side of Tevos just folded his hands on the desk and waited.

Shepard sighed. "The Council invited him here and the clan. Did he misunderstand?"

"No," Tevos said dryly. "But the invitation and his rowdy arrival has upset the non-Council races. Word leaked about us entertaining the idea of helping with the krogan relay. It's outraged some of the planet system leaders. We've been comm'ed from Thessia, Sur Kesh, Palaven, Dekkuna, Irune. The media even got wind of it. If it makes its way onto the Summit agenda, we'll have protests."

"We're already going to have protests," Shepard said. "Probably the same people planning to protest the relay reconstruction or the Asari-Prothean restitution will be the ones protesting the krogan. They'll just bring an extra sign to wave at the gate."

"This has the ambassadors, species leaders, and the new primarch on edge," Tevos said.

"Let them be on edge. Isn't the Summit about moving the high stakes, controversial issues into the public spotlight? To get the input and discussion from a collection of minds? Forge agreements with everyone finally in the same room for the first, maybe only, time?"

Sparatus fixed her with a frown. "We'd be gridlocked and frustrated, get nothing else done on the day's agenda, and decide nothing."

"The gridlock and frustration will be exponentially worse later when you're trying to involve hundreds of people over messages and vid comm sessions light years and solar systems apart. Because believe it, at some point, this will need figured out. It isn't going away. Ignoring it will make it bigger and more difficult than it already is."

Spartus clunked his datapad down on the table. "We will have years to figure this problem out - how to deal with the krogan, their inevitable expansion, how to quell it, the ethics. Decades to solve this over vid comms and messages, perhaps even have another meeting like this one day."

"Okay," Shepard pushed off from the desk and straightened. "While we have decades to figure out the krogan, as you say, what are they going to have decades to figure out about us? Like I said before, instead of diffusing a bomb, you're throwing fuel around it. You're making a self-fulfilling prophecy."

"And if a decision can't be reached at the Summit?" Mason asked.

"We could spend the entire meeting on just the krogan," Sparatus said.

"So, a decision isn't reached." Shepard shrugged her shoulders up and let them drop. "Is a decision going to be reached on everything listed on that agenda? Of course not, but at least by talking about it, giving them their time, you show you're willing to work with them and see their side."

"Their side," Sparatus snorted. "They're brutes. There's no reasoning with them."

"If you want them to see our side, you have to see their's too. You do that, you've gained something. Maybe there's not a full decision, a full agreement but it's progress nonetheless. Don't insult them like this. Just give them a couple of hours at the Summit. Inviting them, see their side, listen. It won't be a waste. And what can it hurt? A few extra picket signs? A few ambassadors and representatives using the next few days to throw their weight around and gripe? You're the Council, not them."

Sparatus gave a drawn-out sigh. Tevos glanced over at Mason before turning back to Shepard.

"Very well," Tevos said. "I'm not opposed to giving Urdnot Wrex some time at the Summit to speak. Perhaps as Shepard says, this can give us some foundation to build off, subvert mistakes that will cause a repeat of the past."

"Very doubtful," Sparatus grumbled, "but I don't think the drawbacks are great enough to prevent it. Let him talk then."

Mason nodded. "I agree. If Ilk consents, we'll add it to the agenda. The push back will be ugly though."

"Only a few more days," Shepard said backing up. "It's worth it."

"There's Ilk." Tevos turned to a door sliding open in the back of the stage.

"I'll talk to him," Mason assured. "I'll let you know when it's official."

"I'll talk to the new primarch if there's a stable comm," Shepard said. "You say she's concerned?"

Sparatus sat forward with a lurch. "She's an important system leader and very busy."

"She'll talk to me," Shepard said. "I just need heard out."

"That's the most dangerous part." Tevos smiled.

Shepard trotted down the stairs and back through the gate. Most of the audience was already seated. She saw an empty seat in the second row. Some Alliance uniforms stood with frowns letting her pass before she plopped down.

"First order of business," Tevos projected. "The Summit agenda …"

Shepard sighed. Back to the battle of the meetings.

 

* * *

 

Shepard tapped her datapad on her tight as she left session. She cut around the hallway corner and bumped up into a solid frame. Strong hands tightened on her arms and pushed her back.

"Aria?" Shepard smirked backing up.

Aria released Shepard's arms with a smirk. A small entourage of mismatched aliens stood behind her. The human to her right was so short, Shepard had to look twice at him. He gave her a wink with a toad-lipped smile.

"Shepard," Aria said.

"What are you doing in the Council Wing?" Shepard asked tearing her eyes away from a vorcha picking his teeth.

"Presenting myself for questioning like a good citizen." Aria put her hands on her hips.

"Questioning for what?" Shepard asked.

"Appears a lot of mercs are showing up under contract with that little terrorist organization you're all hunting."

"Terra Firma?"

"That's the one. Some asari assassin killed out on Jump Zero used to work for the Stilettos. Apparently, anyone hears 'mercenary' and my name is the next thing on the lips.'"

"Stilettos, the assassin – she worked for you, didn't she?"

"Worked, yes. Past tense. At least, _you_ have it right."

"And this?" Shepard waved at her entourage.

Two asari standing behind her stopped whispering and regarded Shepard with raised eyebrows. The vorcha, two humans, and and turien looked glanced around the empty hall.

"The merc leaders I'm still working with," Aria said. "Lots of defectors though. No money, no jobs. What does the council expect?"

Shepard shrugged.

"Read something about your last go-around on the Normandy," Aria said. "The Alliance stuck you with an outdated S-7 shuttle model. Almost killed you."

"Hmm. Couldn't draw me into Council-bashing, now you're changing the flavor to Alliance?"

"Just think you should keep your eyes open."

"Anyway, good luck," Shepard said. "I haven't forgotten our picture at the Summit."

"Watch yourself, Shepard," Aria said.

Aria turned to her gang and inclined her head forward. They fell in around her and moved down the hall. Shepard rolled her eyes and turned the other way.


	80. Chapter 80

**Chapter 11**

Kaidan lingered outside the apartment's platinum door. His boots squeaked on the marble floor as he pivoted looking around the tall glass walls. The sun, just a bright glow in the haze, was more on the ocean than mountain side now. Vid chatting with his team in Tokyo, debriefs and material review, had used up most of the day. He checked the time on his Omni-Tool and glanced back at the elevator. He'd gotten this far. His eyes strayed to the gray water of the bay. It looked like it might rain.

A mechanical hiss. Kaidan reeled around. The door slid open. His muscles uncoiled and his hand dropped away from his belt. Tearing out your pistol probably wasn't the best instinct to foster in civilian life, at least for an opening door, even if unexpected.

"Oh, hey," Kaidan said. "I was about to ring."

Liara pursed her lips but didn't dispute it. He wasn't fooling anyone. She was the Shadow Broker. She'd probably know the minute his foot touched down from the skycar. She'd probably been waiting for him to ring with mounting impatience as he just stood here.

"Well, eventually," Kaidan amended.

Liara stepped back from the door and let him pass. Her apartment was the same. Same wide, open space with that faint lavender smell to it. Gray clouds rolled past the balcony on the other side of the glass walls. No assistant dithered in the corner this time. It was silent.

"How has everything been?" she asked coming around him from behind.

He looked away from the clouds. "Still nailing down information on the potential Summit attack. Or trying to."

"Terra Firma?" Liara asked.

Kaidan nodded.

"Just a potential attack?" she repeated. "I thought it was a known plot."

"It's known, but it hasn't happened yet. Just a potential."

Liara wandered to her left into a dark room lit by monitors. Kaidan hesitated before follow her in. The room was set up much like she'd had on the Normandy with wide screens covering the wall and multiple terminals.

"You miss Glyph?" he asked.

The minute he said it, he felt stupid. He knew she missed him.

"Yes," Liara said simply.

Kaidan came up beside her, and she brought up a holoscreen.

"Here," she said. "This is what I wanted you to see."

Kaidan skimmed over it. "An expense reports?"

"My source believes it's associated with the Terra Firma attack," she said then corrected. "Potential attack."

Kaidan gave her a small smile then turned back to the report.  "What are the highlights?"

"Construction materials. A lot of it. Marble, blue quartz. Some of the materials are used when working with eezo."

Kaidan touched his jaw and stood back. "Can you send them to me?"

"Of course. Here." She handed him a chip.

He palmed it then plugged it into his Omni-Tool.

"New Omni-Tool?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah. Had a nice shopping venture first day back."

"Not everything you had before though?"

He shrugged. "Take some mods and adjustments then eventually. Wish I'd saved more on back up."

Liara watched him passively with a blank face.

"Hey," he said. "I used the code you gave me. It worked. Perfectly even. I extracted a lot of useful data from those messages. Only big break we've had so far."

"Then," she gave him a flat smile, "you're welcome."

She twisted away and strode to the central terminal. Kaidan's chest tightened watching her rigidly click through the window screens. He glanced back at the door and gazed around the room in thought for a moment. Finally, he moved up beside her and turned his back to the screens to face her.

"Liara. I'm sorry I got upset with you."

Liara looked up but didn't say anything.

"I know you were just trying to help me," he said.

Liara tapped off the screen and turned to him with a tight face.  "You know it was more than that, Kaidan."

Kaidan took a deep breath and dropped his eyes. "I know."

Liara didn't say anything, but he could feel her eyes on him. He looked up sharply.

"I have dreams. I think they're your memories."

"Resonance," Liara said. "I'm having it too."

"Then this is normal?"

"I know of it, but it's uncommon."

Kaidan crossed his arms and focused on the floor for a few breaths.

"Is something wrong then?" he asked finally.

"No," Liara frowned. "It's just uncommon. The depth needed to touch the subconscious and cause a resonance is rare. Most … encounters are too guarded."

"But it will go away?"

"Eventually, it should fade."

"Fade? Fade away, right? Not just fade." Kaidan kept his voice even, but Liara's eyes widened at the tone.

"From everything I've heard—"

"You don't know?" he asked.

"No," Liara snapped. "I don't. This hasn't happened to me before either, Kaidan. I've only shared memories with Shepard, with my mother. Nothing like this."

Kaidan's brows drew together. Her words repeated in his head, sharpening deep into his chest.  His lips parted, but he wasn't sure what to say.  Liara pulled her eyes away and passed around him. He caught her arm. 

"Liara …"

She turned her head but didn't meet his eyes. "It will go away eventually. You're fine."

He dipped his head to catch her eye.  "Hey. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Her eyes rose to his. The wall of monitors cast soft light onto the side of her face as she studied him. Blood rushed in his ears. She stepped closer.

"Kaidan—"

The door buzzed. Liara's head snapped toward the entryway. She turned back and touched Kaidan's shoulder. Her hand slipped down his arm, and she gave a squeeze before turning and leaving the room. As her shadow left the doorway, Kaidan released a long breath and covered the lower part of his face with both hands. His breath warmed his face as he paced slowly back and forth in the room. He wasn't sure who he was anymore. His eyes stopped on a screen. He dropped his hands and moved in closer. It was the Summit's unofficial agenda with times, presenters, awards, and topics of discussion. "Council Summit" read across the top. Kaidan's breath slowed as the words burned his vision.

 _"_ _Went on about the s-summit, stuttered with the name. Wrong time, wrong place."_

S-Summit wasn't a stutter. S. Summit for Spider Summit. He stumbled back and spun to the door. His steps slowed through the doorway.

"Javik?"

Javik stood in the apartment's entryway with Liara. He regarded Kaidan with twisted lips.

"Oh. It's you."

"You remember Kaidan." Liara motioned to him.

Javik turned his back to Kaidan and faced Liara. "You have made me late, Liara T'Soni. Even in my cycle such behavior was rude."

"We're not late," Liara huffed. "I told you three to three thirty."

"And it is three o'clock now."

Kaidan checked his Omni-Tool. An alert blinked on his calendar. He'd almost forgotten. Liara released a long breath and looked past Javik at Kaidan.

"You're coming?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"Then we can all go together. Javik, you're ready?"

"Yes," Javik hissed and punched the open button on the apartment door.

"Let's go," Liara said.


	81. Chapter 81

**Chapter 12**

Grass squished under Shepard's boots as she threaded her way through the crowd. The Alliance Memorial Gardens teemed with Alliance uniforms between the towering rows of stone slabs. Copper plaques glinted in the thin overcast light, ocean churning in the distance, wind picking up.  So many names in every direction.

"Commander."  James stood against the backside of one the stone monuments.  He gave her a droopy grin.

"James." Shepard strolled over to him.

Joker came up behind her, crutches squashing into the muddy grass. He stopped next to James and twisted his baseball cap in his hands. Voices greeted saying Shepard's name made her turn.  She nodded at Adams and Donnelly as they passed. Traynor broke off from them and shook Shepard hand with a flat expression.

"I hate these," Traynor said. "Didn't think we'd be here again so soon."

"Neither did I," Shepard paused then smiled. "We shared a drink on the Normandy, talked. That was more of a good bye than these starchy things ever are."

"We should have a stiff drink to remember her then," Traynor said. "I'm rooming near the dry dock, near the Normandy actually. Come by sometime. I'll send you my room number."

Traynor left with a weak smile.

Joker huffed into Shepard's ear. "Hanson's working the dry docks. Said they're gutting her, Commander."

"They're replacing the elevator and doing some retrofitting. Don't get worked up," Shepard said.

Ceremonies like this weren't the real way to remember someone. Shepard's own funeral after the SR-1 had been some solemn ceremony. When she had her second funeral, she hoped people just laughed and talked, enjoyed being together, no whispering and downcast faces.

"Long night, Commander Vega?" Shepard looked sideways at James.

James laughed.  He stretched and rubbed the back of his neck.  "I guess, yeah."

"Oh, hey, Javik." Shepard snared Javik by the arm as he walked by.

Javik backstepped to face her. "Ah, it is you, Captain Commander. And others from the ship."

"First time I've seen you in months," Shepard said. "How you been?"

"I am mobbed wherever I go. It is a horrible thing."

"Hear ya," Shepard grinned.

"I know. Commiseration was a common comfort among my people. I have noticed in yours as well."

"Then let's commiserate. You start."

James leaned across Shepard and held a palm out to Javik. "Remember the shake, Jav, my Prothy friend?"

Javik's lips thinned. He stared at the hand.

"Very well," he said finally.

They slipped hands and bumped fists.

"Are you pleased now?" Javik said.

"Highlight of the day."

"That has been a common reaction among the humans here. Highlight of a lifetime is more common."

James grinned. "Sorry, but gotta lot of highlights on that reel."

"No doubt." Javik turned back to Shepard. "Liara T'Soni explained to me that it is considered rude to not attend these ceremonies. That somehow looking at a plaque with someone's name is a tribute. So, I have come."

"Dr. Chakwas would have like that, Javik," Shepard said.

"As she is no longer here, that is irrelevant. To not appear rude in front of common acquaintances, I have come."

Joker released a heavy breath of air. "Damn. That's cold, Javik. Why'd you even come?"

"I have already stated it, Joker Pilot. To avoid rudeness. However, I am late. So, I am rude nonetheless."

"Uh, right," Joker said and turned to James.  They started their own conversation.

"You're not late, Javik," Shepard said. "The ceremony's still a few minutes off."

"I am late for the time I was given. I had to go to Dr. T'Soni's apartment, since she did not come for me as agreed."

"Well, you're here now, Javik."

"As it would seem. Despite Dr. T'Soni and the male soldier's delay, I am here."

Shepard paused. "Male soldier?"

"The human from your ship. By not saying his name I displease Dr. T'Soni, which pleases me. I credit the male soldier's presence in her apartment for causing my lateness."

"You're not late," Shepard muttered and absently scanned the crowd.

"I am late for the time that—"

"She gave you. Yes, I know."

Javik made a dissatisfied sound and looked around. "I go. A place in the back will allow a more orderly exit. Goodbye, Captain Commander."

He brushed past her. Shepard tipped her head to the side to see around a large group of people. There she was. Liara stood near the first monument in the row. Kaidan stood next to her.

James leaned in next to Shepard following her gaze. "Who you … Oh. Kaidan." James chuckled and shot a look at Joker. "Who gets to jump him first?"

"Uh, I like my bones not broken," Joker said.

"Wait for a dark alley then?"

"I think he needs to be asleep."

"Hmm, yeah." James grinned. "I think he owes us a favor. Already got mine picked out."

"Damn, James," Joker said. "So quick?  Gotta make him sweat a little."

Shepard frowned at them. "What did he do to you two?"

James snorted. His biceps bulged as he folded them across his chest. "Did L2 a favor.  Ended up collared by the turien Spectres."

Shepard cocked her head with an exaggerated frown. "And they didn't treat you nice, James? No cucumber water in the detention cell?"

"Ha. Right, Lola. But I'm owed one."

"And you, Joker? What's your tiff?"

"Uh ..."

"Tell her, Joker." James chuckled.

Shepard's eyes moved between them. "Yeah, Joker, do tell. Did the turien Spectres hurt your feelings, too?"

"Lola, have you met those Specs? Trust me. Ain't no fiesta, amiga."

"Well, Joker?" Shepard asked.

Joker twisted his cap into a wad and shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"You're planning to jump Kaidan in his sleep, but it doesn't matter?" Shepard asked.

James grinned at Joker then laughed. "Hey, if you aren't gonna say it …"

"Fine," Joker said. "Kaidan used his freagin' biotics on me. Scared the crap outta me."

"Howled like a banshee," James laughed.

"It worked, didn't it?"Joker said. "Drew everyone's attention."

"Felt pretty real, Joker."

"Uh, because it was."

Shepard shook her head with a smirk and an eye roll. "Okay, okay. When's this thing starting?"

"So, what's the favor?" Joker asked.

James's grin brimmed. "So, uh, last night, that hot chica, remember? She was still out there dancing."

"The cute brunette?" Shepard said.

"Oh yeah," James said. "I think she's, like, Kaidan's cousin or something."

"What?" Shepard's eyebrows lifted. "You're joking?"

"I don't joke about hot chica's at bars, Lola."

"And now what? You want her contact info or something?"

"Well … yeah."

"It doesn't bother you she didn't give it to you herself?"

James shrugged. "She went off dancing with some guy before I got it. Didn't see her again."

"Maybe she has a boyfriend, James," Shepard said.

"Well, Lola, I can get all that info when I cash in my favor. Went to cash it in last night. Stopped by Kaidan's room, you know, mess with him a little, but he was nowhere 'round. Just have to settle for some digits and the rundown, I guess."

Shepard paused. "You went to his room last night? After the club?"

"Thought I'd give him a hard time and get her info, you know. Might have had some bourbon helping me along."

"You even sure she's his cousin?" Joker asked.

"Uh, Rebecca Alenko. Come on. Ain't his sister. Gotta be a cousin or some sort of relative, right? It's Vancouver."

Shepard frowned at the grass. "At three A.M., he wasn't in his room?"

James looked sideways at Joker. "Probably about three, I dunno. But, uh, Lola, don't mean he wasn't there. Hell, maybe he just wasn't answering. Knew it was me."

An Alliance officer in ceremonial attire cleared his throat. He walked up the steps onto the monument's raised stone platform. Heads turned.  People drew in tighter.

Across the lawn, Kaidan strolled alongside Liara following the crowd. Miranda came up beside them and noticed Shepard across the crowd.  She tiped her head. Kaidan caught the gesture and met Shepard's eye. A small smile spread across his face, and he nodded at her.

"Doctor Karin Chakwas—" the officer started.

Shepard focused her attention forward. She wasn't here to mingle with friends. She'd need to say something. The crowd scooted aside, and she took a spot near the front. Another service. Another name on a plaque. It'd never end.

 

* * *

 

People mingled around the garden after the service. Javik paced on the lawn beyond the crowd, hand on his hips, trying to flag Liara's attention. Shepard shook hands with Cortez, Briggs, Jensen, and a whole line of old Alliance friends. Jensen didn't say much with a haunted glint in her eye as they finally moved on. The throng thinned, and Shepard stepped up onto the platform in front of the monuments. She wandered along the lines of plaques to Dr. Chakwas's name. The brass wasn't weathered.  It shined brighter than the plaques around it. Shepard bent and touched the letters.

"Shepard."

Shepard's head whipped around. "Kaidan. Hey."

She straightened as Kaidan came up the steps.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

"Like new." Shepard flashed a smile. "Back to factory settings."

"Your biotics?"

"Seem to be in working order. Did some tests.  Spiked the same.  Haven't taken down a horde of husks yet, so not field tested."

"Hard to scrounge up a horde of husks these days. Probably a good thing."

"Spoil sport. But I agree." Shepard folded her arms.

Kaidan's soft brown eyes studied her. He smiled, but something still felt grim or off. He looked more rested, more vibrant though. The flash of metal buttons on his chest caught her eye.

"Your uniform. You're wearing it again."

"Uh, yeah." Kaidan glanced down. "Got a welcome back email saying I could wear it again long as I'm on my best behavior."

"An email?" Shepard's eyebrows drew together..

"No joke. An email. That, and an unofficial pep talk from Admiral Hackett in the hallway."

Shepard frowned. "That seems …"

"Right?"

"Huh," Shepard said.

"Hey, L2." James ambled up to them then froze midstep. His eyes bounced between them as if realizing it was only the two of them talking. "Uh, actually, I can just …"

"What's up, James?" Kaidan turned to him.

"Am I interrupting?" James eyed Shepard.

Shepard rolled her lips tight, but shook her head emphatically. She rested her back against the monument's cool stone.

"No," Kaidan said. "What's up?"

James shifted uncertainly. He looked at Shepard out of the corner of his eye then turned to Kaidan.

"Hey, does a Rebecca Alenko mean anything to you?"

Kaidan eyed James before answering. "Becca, yeah."

"Familia or something?"

"Cousin."

"Cousin? Huh." James shot Shepard a triumphant grin before focusing back on Kaidan. "So, uh, about this favor you owe me …"

Kaidan's face tightened. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes." James rolled onto the balls of his feet and back down. "Give me the rundown, and how 'bout some digits?"

"You're serious?"

"Totally. Met last night at the club. Kinda got separated before we exchanged any info."

Kaidan narrowed his eyes. "Just kinda got separated before exchanging any info?"

"You owe me one, L2. Taccus lead me 'round by a leash for a week."

Kaidan's mouth twitched. He ran a hand along his jaw and looked off.  The corners lifting slightly.

James crossed his arms and cocked his head.  "Really, L2? Funny? Really?"

Kaidan grinned openly. "Come on. If I have to give you a favor, I get to think it's funny."

"You haven't given me that favor yet."

"True." Kaidan backed up and leaned against the granite next to Shepard. "I don't know, James. Kind of a big favor. Could end up related."

James stared blankly at Kaidan. "L2, like, seriously. We are not talking wedding bells here. You really don't get this whole 'living in the moment' thing."

Kaidan shrugged and tilted his head as if considering. "Okay, James. How about I send her your info? If she's interested, she'll contact you."

"What? You afraid I can't take 'no' for answer or something?"

Kaidan thinned his eyes at James who starred back levelly. It made Shepard smirk. She shifted against the monument and looked between them.

"Fine," Kaidan said. He lifted his wrist, Omni-Tool glowing, and punched something in. "I'm done matchmaking my cousins though. There."

"That a regular gig for you, Kaidan?" Shepard asked.

He glanced at her. "Yeah, well, I'm doing you a favor too, Shepard. Becca's brothe is a big fan, wanted your info.  Be thankful I rejected his application."

"Really?" Shepard twisted sideways against the stone to face him. "Why?  Vega's good enough for the family, but I'm not?"

James's teeth peeked out in a grin as he looked at his Omni-Tool. "Got it."

"We're square?" Kaidan asked.

"Well, assuming it's actually a working number, then, yeah."

James smiled backing up and trotted away.

"So …" Shepard said.

Kaidan glanced sideways at her. "Sure, Shepard. I'll set you up. Just don't forget your credit chip on the date, because he will. Guaranteed."

"I'm not above paying."

"Good, then you'll both be on the same page. And, at the end of the night, don't be surprised if he suddenly needs to come in to use your bathroom or use your terminal, his Omni-Tool's acting up."

"Both legitimate reasons to be let in."

Kaidan looked away and shrugged. "I was wrong. Sounds like you're perfect for each other then."

"James and I could be in-laws."

"Shepard," Kaidan tsked. "Live in the moment."

"Got excited," she grinned at him. "You really sell these matches."

"Uh, yeah." Kaidan turned sideways and faced her, smile weak.  "Sell themselves really. But since I set you up, maybe you owe me a favor now?"

"I haven't gotten any contact information yet, Kaidan."

"Thought it would be more fun to give him yours."

Shepard ducked her head with a grin. She returned a serious expression back to him.

"Efficient thinking, Major."

"My satisfaction guarantee."

"That's why I went with you, instead of asking James about his cousins."

"Thought maybe you and James were trying to get in on the BOGO sale."

"The Twenty-Four Hour Alenko Cousin Sale?"

"You saw the ads."

Shepard smiled brightly at him, but his had a shallow, pasted on feel to it. They faced each other, shoulders resting against the granite, three rows of bronze plaques between them.

Not many people were left milling around the lawn. Liara and Javik must have already left. A raindrop hit Shepard's forehead. She adjusted her shoulder against the stone and met Kaidan's eyes.

"So, what kind of favor did you have in mind?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan's eyes rolled up to the sky, eyebrows pinching. He held out a palm. Another drop hit Shepard's scalp. Dark flecks speckled the stone at their feet. Unrecognized Alliance officers rushed past leaving the garden in a huddle. Kaidan looked back down at her and tucked his hands under his arms.

"Favor … yeah," he said. "I'm hoping you can fill in some blanks."

"Some blanks?"

"Did someone warn you to stay away from the Summit?"

Shepard frowned. "What?"

"An asari? At a bar?"

Shepard tilted her head. "What? How do you know about that? It was nothing."

"You followed her outside. She said something about the 'S. Summit.' A wrong date, time, place. Do you remember what she said?"

Thunder rippled overhead, a low, slow rumble. Rain tapped faster. The stone at their feet stained into one solid color. Waves broke in the distance beyond the garden cliffs. A gust tinged with ocean spray hit her face lifting the hair off her neck.

"We should go in." Kaidan stood away from the monument and looked over his shoulder toward the ocean cliffs.

Blue glowed around the edges of her vision. Kaidan's head snapped back as she stepped up to him.  A blue shield expanded out from her hand and extended around them. Kaidan craned his neck, eyes round, as the shield passed over his head. The rush of wind and rumble of thunder fell away as the blue veil surrounded them in a bubble. Rain streamed down the sides of the shield, tapping on the barrier overhead. It reverberated up her arm like a spider sitting on its web.

Kaidan gazed around them in the iridescence. The empty garden hung hazed and distant outline the blue veil. Kaidan caught her eye.  A grin spread across his face, and he reached a hand out beside hers, flaring blue. His fingertips grazed the shield.  It rippled as his energy weaved out through it. The familiar tingle of his biotics made her heart race as it twisted and wrapped through hers, in and out like threads through something knitted with yarn.  It tinted the shield cobalt as weight lifted in her core. Her breathing eased as his energy tightened and hardened through her shield. Shepard glanced up at the beating rain. 

"Not quite gunfire," she said.

"Start with bullets, your umbrella will be unmatched."

"Hey, this is way better than an umbrella, Kaidan."

"A biotic umbrella. But yes, I'm impressed. Good idea."

"That's all I wanted."

Kaidan shifted on his feet and gazed around them. Each flexion of his fingers echoed through the energy field and tingled up her arm. The warm hum of his biotics tingled deep in her chest.  Their eyes met.  He looked away.

"Shepard, about that asari …"

"Oh," Shepard said. "What I overheard …"

Kaidan gazed off through the shield and nodded. "Right."

"Well." Shepard scrunched her brow in thought. "She named an earlier day than the Summit should really start.  I think …"

Shepard rolled it around in her mind. 

"She said the day before, one day too early," Shepard said, "and at nighttime. I don't remember when, but the evening. Thought it was weird. Why would you think the first day would open in the evening?"

"And where?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard hung her head and crinkled her eyes in thought. "Uh … gray stadium or arena or something like that, I think. It didn't make sense."

"Gray stadium or arena?" Kaidan echoed, eyes distant as if in thought.  His fingers tapped ripples through the shield. "Does that mean anything to you?"

"No," Shepard said, then sighed. "What's going on, Kaidan?"

His eyes flicked to hers. "A Terra Firma attack on the Summit. You've heard of it?"

"Some," Shepard said vaguely.

"The major players are gathering before the Summit. Here in Vancouver.  There's a rumor they're meeting to give out final orders, coordinate this strike. That's what I wonder if you overheard."

Shepard studied his face. "Why would you think that? It was random. Drunk talk, most likely."

"Diana Allers referred to the meeting as the Spider Summit. You heard 'S. Summit.'"

"It seemed like a stutter."

"What if it wasn't?"

Shepard considered him quietly.

"Tell me what you know," she said.

Kaidan nodded. The wind eased up against the shield and the rain softened. Kaidan told her what he'd found on Terra Firma while in Prague and over the last month. Shepard's frown deepened as she listened. The shield flickered around them.

"What about this Scorpion?"

"I think whoever it is will be at the Summit during the opening ceremony. If nothing to alarms him, he'll make some public spectacle."

"The Scorpion wanted me alive and transferred over? Why?" Shepard asked, but Kaidan shrugged and shook his head. "And the Blue Suns as targets - why? And why leave Earth?"

"I don't know."

"The Normandy's fitted with the quarian's flotilla technology, good for deep space and limited resources. must be why they wanted her." Shepard studied the stone drying at her feet. "And the incendiary devices, the nuke? If they have the Mass Shard and built whatever that weapon was in the blueprints …"

Kaidan regarded her silently for a moment. "Shepard. There are Alliance ties. Hackett's worried about someone on the inside."

Shepard stared at him. She pushed the idea away for later and locked eyes with Kaidan. "We need to find that meeting."

"Exactly."

"The Summit's days away."

Kaidan's face hardened as they held each other's eyes.  He knew. They both knew. Shepard could hardly feel the sprinkle through the shield anymore. The sky loomed gray and dark, but there without any flashes. Shepard pulled her hand back from the shield and let it drop. Kaidan drew back too.  The blue shimmer faded.

The outdoors rushed over them again - the moist air, roar of wind, smell of grass and damp earth, a faint prickle of stray droplets. Like finding a seat after standing all day, the relief of dropping the shield washed over her. She could see it in Kaidan's eyes too. It was nothing like a battle against ballistics, but it was enough of a light sprint to feel a hint of relief in letting it drop. The dim sun squinted through the clouds at the ocean's horizon. Kaidan followed her gaze over his shoulder to the ocean.

"Sometimes I come here," he said. "Helps me think seeing the names. Remember. Watch the ocean."

Shepard's eyes flickered to his profile as he gazed back at the cliffs.  She studied the curve of his jaw. The air used to leak from his lungs when she kissed him under the jaw.  His fingers would tighten in her hair, at her waist. He'd swallow hard against her lips, eyes closing, skin burning.  And she'd breath his aftershave, the tip of her tongue salty as he writhed beneath her. 

He turned back to her and let out a long breath.  "Glad you're better, Shepard. Good to catch up."

Shepard stretched a smile. "Of course."

He touched the side of her arm as he passed. "Take care, Shepard."

Shepard turned back to the monument of names. Karin Chakwas's name stared back at her.

Shepard turned. "Kaidan."

He hadn't gotten far.  He slowed in the grass and turned back to her. The plaque glinted in the falling light.  She waited until Kaidan's footsteps neared.

"Dr. Chakwas," Shepard said quietly and glanced back at him, "do you think she'd rather have died fighting the reapers in the war?"

Kaidan regarded her silently for a moment, then slowly coming back up the steps.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Shepard's shoulders slumped, and she touched the edge of the plaque. "She did so much, fought Saren, the Collectors, the Reapers. Came through it all. She got through everything then died here for this."

Kaidan came up beside her. "For nothing you mean?"

Shepard looked over and met his eyes. "It's so pointless. Not meaningless, just pointless. In a way." She turned back to the plaque.

Kaidan folded his arms and faced the plaque. "They didn't die in vain, Shepard."

She didn't say anything.

"Shepard," he said. "You, the crew that lived, the crew that died - you stopped Terra Firma from controlling the Normandy. If Terra Firma had the Normandy now … we know the destruction and death they planned."

"If it had been uncovered, dealt with before they struck though. I knew something was wrong, Kaidan. I just couldn't figure out what, not in time."

"And what if you had?" Kaidan shrugged and looked over at her. "Yes, Dr. Chakwas would be alive, the rest of the crew, but so far, the biggest break on the Summit attack has come from decoding Anchor's messages. If the Normandy attack was diffused, Anchor and the rest of the infiltrators tossed in the brig, everyone would be focused on preparing for the Summit. Maybe those messages wouldn't have been decoded in time to do anything. We'd just have some vague suspicion the Summit would make a good target if Terra Firma was looking for one. We wouldn't know anything concrete or even know what to be looking for. I'd be in Tokyo. Anything I've found, I wouldn't have been here to find it. So, yes, they'd be alive," he turned back to the plaque, "but because they're not, maybe many others meant to die, won't. Imagine if this attack works, Shepard. Everything we've gained from the war -  the alliances, cooperation, the ability to rebuild - it'll be lost. Dr. Chakwas survived the galaxy being destroyed by reapers, but by her sacrifice now, maybe she saves the galaxy from destroying itself."

Chakwas's name shinned back at Sheperd. She looked sideways at Kaidan. He glanced over at her with a small smile. Then he backed up and left. Her eyes followed him until he was out of sight.

She turned back to the monument. Droplets beading the nameplate. A smile crested her lips remembering the weight ease over her as the his threads of energy reinforced her shield. A tightness she'd been carrying in her chest loosened. She brushed the rain droplets off the plaque and stood back. For the first time staring at the letters made her feel more pride than guilt.


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter 13**

"That was the past. Let's focus on the future." Shepard stood on the Council floor.

One of the turien ministers glared at her from across the floor. "But the asari—"

"Does it matter?" Shepard snapped gripping the lectern tighter.

"Situations like this always matter," Ilk said from the Council table.

The crowd in the Council Chamber stirred. Usually about the time a councilor chimed in, the debate was winding down enough to be tabled and a new topic introduced. These pre-Summit talks to orient the upcoming discussions could drag. Everyone in the chamber seemed ready to adjourn for the evening. The dark windows around the hall flickered with lightening.

"Councilor." Shepard raised her voice turning to Ilk. "Concealing the prothean beacon in the past put the asari ahead, true. That's recognized. It was a betrayal." Tevos squirmed in her chair. Shepard looked out over the rows of faces in the audience. "But councilors, leaders, it doesn't matter going forward, and that's the only direction that counts."

"What else has been concealed from us?" Ilk frowned. "Their betrayal has implications for future behavior."

"The asari stood with us," Shepard said. "We couldn't have gotten here without them. Same with the salarians, the turiens, the krogan, the elcor, the hanar, everyone. What the asari did was wrong, but it was a decision made long ago and perpetuated by a minority. Most of the asari were as surprised as the rest of us. They probably felt more betrayed than we did. This is a fresh start. We've all earned a new beginning. Forgive and move forward, because the next time, maybe it's your people that needs the hand up."

The turien minister across the floor shook his head and stormed down from the stage. "A future without consequences for the past is a dangerous one!"

"Minister Factus is right," Sparatus said. "There must be consequences or anything's allowable. That will destroy cooperation as much as over-focusing on past wrongs."

"Losing Thessia, millions of lives, being stranded all over the galaxy - those aren't consequences enough?" Shepard asked.

"That happened to all of us," Sparatus said.

"We've all suffered," Shepard agreed. "The asari along with us, despite all the advantages their secret gave them. Does their suffering need to be worse than ours to restore the balance? We've suffered enough for every species. In the future, there will be wrongs and there will be consequences. But for now? What's done is done. We've bleed and died, suffered and lost together. Let's move forward and start over."

Sparatus sat back in his chair and folded his arms. Mason and Tevos leaned their heads together whispering while Ilk drummed his fingers on the desk and looked over the crowd. The audience waited in silence. There wasn't an open chair in the auditorium. A line of people stood against the wall and down the aisles. Finally, Mason stood up.

"We're adjourning for the night. We will resume tomorrow morning. The Council will discuss the upcoming Summit topics concerning the krogan."

The room erupted in harsh voices. The other three councilors pushed up from their chairs. Ilk glanced back marble-eyed as a yelling crowd surged to the banisters. C-sec officers fanned out along the bottom of the stage. A rabid group of turiens screamed at Shepard from the front row. One even threw something at her. As it rolled on the stage floor, she could see it was a pen. Reporters waved over the heads of the C-sec officers and yelled questions about Tuchanka and the genophage.

"Shepard," Mason called waving her to the stage's back door.

Shepard hurried to him amid the roar of angry voices.

"Damn," Shepard muttered passing by Mason into the back room. "You hadn't released that until now?"

"As you can see, there's a reason, we weren't eager to announce it," Tevos said.

This private hall off the Council Chamber was empty except for them. Ilk strode to one of the exits and left without a preamble. Mason's hand patted Shepard's back as he passed around her.

"Spectre Shepard," Tevos said watching the other councilors stepping. She came closer. "I applaud your moderate stand on the prothean matter. I want you to know, I fully intend to support your position with the krogan."

Shepard frowned. "That's not why I did it, Councilor. I'm not pandering to raise support on anything."

"Of course," Tevos inclined her head with a smile. "I wasn't implying that."

Sparatus waved his datapad and yelled from across the room. "It's already all over the extranet!"

"We knew it would be," Tevos sighed and moved over to him.

Shepard left through the same exit Ilk had taken. It spilled her out into a hallway down from the Council Chamber and the roaring chaos. In the distance, the Council Chamber's entrance crowded with cameras and reporters churning to get a view inside. Shepard spun on her heels and started the other direction. The click of cameras and roar of press behind her made her feet slowed, and she stopped. Her mind ran through possibilities. She turned back and charged down the hall to the chamber entrance boiling with reporters. A few heads looked over and fingers stared to point as the sea of faces turned toward her. They shoved over each other. Cameras flashed, bobbing and bouncing off each other as the reporters surged around her.

"Commander Shepard, how is your health?"

"Did you mean what you said in there about the asari?"

"Did Urdnot Wrex threaten the Council into supporting his cause?"

"What is your relationship with the asari councilor?"

A familiar voice purred behind her. "An exclusive, Commander?"

Shepard whipped around. Diana Allers held out her microphone out in a wavering grip as people shoved against her. Shepard snatched the microphone from her. The inner layer of reporters pushed back glancing back at their cameras to assure a good angle. The questions hushed as they waited. Shepard fixed her eyes on Diana.

"I will give an exclusive to Diana Allers, Battlespace News. Other questions later."

Groans and dirty looks rolled through the crowd. Glares turned on Diana as she pushed forward with a beaming grin. She shoved back a row of reporters loitering with absently held microphones aimed Shepard's direction.

"This way, Commander."

Diana ushered her down the hall beyond the frowns and narrowed eyes. Diana found a nook down the hall, a spot by the window with a couch in the corner. She glanced behind them before shimming straight her tight dress and hailing her camera as it came around the corner.

"So good to see you again, Commander." She smiled coyly.

"How have you been, Allers?"

"Excellent." She smoothed her hair. "This is a surprise. I'm glad you remember how beneficial our talks on the Normandy always were. You made the right choice. Exclusives are the best way to go. Less pressure, more elegant."

"Right." Shepard smiled.

"All right." Diana glanced around again. "Maybe we could go to your room. Less chance of being interrupted there."

"How about we do some questions here." Shepard handed Diana her microphone back and readied herself. "I don't have much time but if you think over questions for the future, we'll see what we can do about a longer exclusive later."

Allers grinned slyly. "Absolutely, Commander."

She held up the microphone and pivoted to the camera. Shepard tapped her shoulder.

"Allers, before we begin …"

"I thought you said we don't have much time." Diana frowned back at her.

"We have enough," Shepard reassured. "I want to ask you something."

"Oh?"

"You have your ear to the ground. You ever hear of the Gray Arena?"

Diana twisted her lips as if thinking but shook her head. "No."

"The Gray Stadium?"

"No. Why?"

Shepard sighed with a frown. It had been worth a shot at least.

"Why are you asking?" Diana repeated.

Maybe there was still information Shepard could use.

"Major Alenko told me you may have contacts with Terra Firma," Shepard said.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about," Diana said. "I might have heard some things, but I don't have contacts."

"Sources then?"

"I've had a few interviews, taken notes here and there. I'm not an investigational journalist. That's not my story."

"Is there anything you can give me? Any footage, notes? Whatever you have on Terra Firma, anything remotely connected."

Diana gave her a flat stare. "I see."

"See what?"

The microphone pressed against Diana's chest dropped to her side with a sigh. "You're not really interested in an exclusive, are you?"

"I said I would give you an exclusive. I mean it."

"And the second interview?"

"I meant that too."

Diana's slit eyes relaxed as Shepard tugged down on her uniform and looked straight at the camera.

"And you don't require anything?" Diana asked. "You're giving me this interview without something back?"

"Yes," Shepard said. "I'd like it if you had something for me, but I'm ready for the interview. Feed it live if you want. Whatever. I'll give you ten minutes."

A smile broke across Diana's face. "Shepard, I knew I liked you. Now, anything off limits?"

"Let's stick to business."

"Of course," Diana smiled flicking her hair as she turned to the camera. "Your health? The injury?"

"That's fine."

"Here we go then." Diana glanced back at Shepard who gave her a nod. "Three, two, one. This is Diana Allers for Battlespace News."

 

* * *

 

Shepard paced around her room like a cage. The screen on her desk flashed with vids from Diana Allers's interviews over the last year, anything related to Terra Firma. Diana had been right. There wasn't much there. Shepard let it play in the background, the sound turned down but audible. Just because she was awake in the middle of the night didn't mean her neighbors needed to be.

She checked her refrigerator again, but it was still the same one option that had been there ten minutes ago. She'd eaten everything else. Everything else but the eggs. Lots of eggs. Damn grocery delivery service. She slammed the refrigerator door shut. Their order form needed to be more explicit. And anyone in their right mind filling an order for 'twelve' eggs should have questioned it, if it was mean to be sold by the dozen. Ridiculous.

On the screen, Diana Allers slinked around a Vancouver bar interviewing witnesses to some anti-alien brawl. It was rough footage, the unedited takes that ran on and on. Editors must have a tedious job dragging themselves through this sludge and picking out the nuggets worth showing. The camera rolled as Diana touched up her lipstick in a mirror hanging over the bar. She tugged down her neckline and boosted her assets while smirking back at her reflection. Her hair whipped through the hair as she twisted on her heels to the first patron at the bar. She leaned forward spilling herself over the bar as her arms squeezed her chest. She purred a question to the bartender. The man's words came out jumbled as his eyes strayed then flitting back up with a wary grin. The smile only broadened as she leaned further over with the next question.

Shepard rolled her eyes and flopped onto the couch. She pressed her head back into the cushion and looked out the window. She did have one hell of a large window. Diana's chattered to the camera about the turien military officers that had ran into trouble at the bar the night before. Shepard vaguely remembered it from months ago. Five dead when one of the female turiens decided to chat up a human patron, one of the dockworkers. The flirting hadn't gone over well with the humans in the corner watching. So stupid. Wasteful.

Shepard checked the time. Her Omni-Tool glowed in her face before she snapped it off. She twisting off the couch and got back onto her feet. Almost three in the morning. She crossed her arms and tapped her elbows with twitchy fingers. She'd admit it to herself - she wondered. There was nothing wrong that. She just wanting to know.

The desk chair teetered as she barreled over to her bed and threw herself down. She stared up at the ceiling. Three o'clock and it's all she could think about. Damn James for saying anything at all.

Shepard sat up on her elbows suddenly. She could call him. He'd answer. He always answered for her. He'd sit up on the screen wiping sleepiness out of his eyes, and she'd squinted behind him at the background listening for clue. Calling him in the middle of the night needed a reason though. Saying it was an accident seemed puny. In the end, it didn't matter anyway. Let him do whatever damned thing he wanted.

Shepard's ear caught on something from the footage, and she froze repeating it in her head. She leaped out of bed and rushed to the terminal. The camera's view bobbed as Diana Allers reached up and turned it off. Shepard rewound it and played it again. A smile stretched across her lips. Bingo.


	83. Chapter 83

**Chapter 14**

Kaidan bolted upright in bed with a jolt. A datapad clattering to the floor off his chest. Kaidan snatched his Omni-Tool from the nightstand. A second datapad clapped to the floor as he swung his feet off the bed checking the time. Three o'clock. His face scrunched. He grabbed a pair of pants off the floor and hoped his way to the front door pulling them on. Hallway light burst through the door blinding him as it slid open. He squinted to find what he was looking for - the damn person waking him up at 3 A.M. The damn person was … Shepard.

Her eyes lit up. A smile lifted and strained into her cheeks as she looked him over. He glanced down the hall - empty and quiet – and turned back to her. He frowned.

"Is this payback?"

Shepard shrugged still grinning. "Maybe. Can I come in?"

Kaidan stepped back and put out an open palm. She brushed past him with a grin and squinted into the dark. The doors slid shut cutting the room into darkness as he moved around her. The table lamp clicked on illuminating the small sitting area. He turned back to her.

"What's going on, Shepard? You okay?" He studied her.

Her eyes moved around the room as she came in further. He followed her roving gaze before facing her with a frown. Her eyes finally met his and a small smile curling up the corners of his lips.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I found something."

"Found something? At three in the morning?"

"Come here," she said.

Kaidan's heels stuck to the floor, but he forced himself forward. She brought up a vid on her Omni-Tool and scrolled through the opening. He stood stiffly beside her. The clean scent of vanilla tinted the air in each breath, and he shuffled back a step.

"Can you see?" She twisted to look at him and raised her Omni-Tool higher.

He gave her a sharp nod, and she turned back to the holoscreen. She pressed 'play.' The background looked like a pub.

"This is the Lunar Eclipse," Shepard said.

"Where the turiens were—"

"Listen." Shepard held up a finger.

An empty bar table filled the screen as the footage rolled. Nothing was happening. A distant voice muttered something about having nowhere to clip her microphone.

"Is that Allers?"

"Kaidan." Shepard frowned.

She turned up the volume and cocked her head listening. Kaidan edged closer concentrating to hear. Two male voices talked. They were far off, probably down the bar.

"They're back there. Left after," one voice said.

"Back then? No one followed?"

"Yeah, back in the gray. Once it's clear, we'll head over too. Meet 'um on the ground floor of the gray hospital."

Shepard paused it and turned to him. She seemed expectant, eyes eagerly searching his face.

"Gray hospital?" Kaidan asked. "I don't know …"

"Back to the gray," Shepard repeated and pulled up another screen on her Omni-Tool.

It was an article this time. It was from a year ago. Kaidan looked away from her and peered at it skimming over the contents. A Terra Firma cell uncovered in Vancouver. It was back when they sabotaged spacecrafts. A high-sting operation routed them out of their base of operations. Kaidan only vaguely remembered hearing about it. He still hadn't gotten back to Earth yet. Terra Firma and terrorism had been the last thing on his mind. Shepard held her arm closer for him, but he'd finished reading it. He stepped back.

"Well … the gray?" Shepard smiled at him. "The cell they found called themselves the Gray Sect. Found in that renovation zone right next to the rebuilt part of Vancouver. That's the gray – the bright, rebuilt part of Vancouver mixing with the black, destroyed part. That's where they're hiding."

Kaidan folded his arms and drew his eyebrows together in thought. Shepard snapped off her Omni-Tool.

"Rebuilding is happening all the time," Shepard said. "That strip has shifted, but there was a hospital in the in-between area at the time of the Lunar murders." Shepard walked around one of the cushioned sitting chairs and ran a hand along the top. "There's a big theater in the zone now. Used to have symphonies and plays."

"I remember."

"It's not exactly a stadium or an arena, but that's the closest I could pin point. Maybe I heard auditorium."

Kaidan nodded slowly and a smile spread across his face. "You found something."

"Let's go check it out."

"What?" Kaidan's eyebrows rose. "Right now?"

"Put on a shirt. Let's go."

Kaidan stared back at her. She put her hands on her hips and stared back.

"Well …" He gave a soft snort then smiled. "Fine."

He went to his dressed and tugged out a shirt. Shepard came up beside him.

"Shoes too."

"I know how to dress myself, Shepard. It's not a new skill."

Shepard smiled and leaned an elbow against the dresser. He snatched out some socks as she surveyed the room again.

"Kind of spartan isn't it, Kaidan?"

Kaidan glanced around the room before pulling the shirt over his head. "If I'd know you were coming, I would have pulled out the area rugs and decorative vases."

"Actually, you need an area rug, Kaidan. Don't your feet get cold walking around like that?"

"What?" Kaidan glanced down at his bare feet then grabbed his boots. "Not too many area rugs on a space ship. I'm used to it."

"Hmm." Shepard shrugged. "I guess that can be my housewarming gift for you then."

"Still waiting on the coasters?" Kaidan crossed over to one of the sitting room chairs.

"Haven't been able to set down a cold drink since you pointed it out." Shepard strolled over. "Every package in the mail, I think, 'Surely these are my coasters from Kaidan.' Never is. Just some bootlaces or an Omni-Tool hardware upgrade I'd forgotten I ordered."

Kaidan pulled on a sock. "I don't know. If I got an Omni-Tool upgrade I forgot I ordered, I'd be pretty happy."

"But imagine all those months holding cold drinks in your hand, staring at your table wistfully. If only you could … but you can't." Shepard flopped down in a heap in the chair next to him.

"You're, uh … pretty chipper for three o'clock in the morning, Shepard. You even sleep?"

"Too excited about my Allers footage."

"It's a good find."

"Worth a three o'clock wakeup call?" Shepard rested her chin on her fist and watched him.

He pulled on the other sock. "Uh, sure."

"Of note," Shepard said. "Your visiting hours aren't posted either."

"I actually went with a 'NO TRESSPASSING' sign. Must have fallen down."

"Didn't know that was one of the options."

"Never limit yourself when it comes to signage, Shepard."

"Think a 'BEWARE OF HAMSTER' sign would run people off?"

"Probably draw crowd."

Shepard pressed her lips together as if in thought. "Could be an opportunity to earn some credits."

Shepard's teeth showed through her lips as they drew back, and she rested her chin on a fist. He should probably just stick to the reason she was here. He still felt raw from their talk in the garden, but that glint in her eye and smile … He grinned back at her and picked up a boot.

"To do it right, you'll need a big tent and a top hat," he said.

"Couldn't sell me on the dictation gig, so now it's the circus?"

"I'd even help you pick out the font for your business cards."

"Uh huh," Shepard said. "Ringmaster Shepard?"

"Does have a ring to it."

Shepard rolled her eyes with a snort and shook her head. "Lame, Kaidan."

"What? It's three in the morning, what do you expect?" he asked. "And just so you know, my refrigerator doesn't have any produce."

"Hope your steaks aren't boned then."

"Threatening to throw steak at me? You do belong in the circus."

Shepard chuckled and sat back in her chair. Kaidan put on his second boot. He glanced up, and she was watching him with a soft grin. She nodded down at his boot.

"Kind of slow at this for not being a new skill," Shepard said.

"Too distracted talking."

"A good host, Kaidan, multitasks."

"This really _is_ payback, isn't it? For the record, I'm a great host. I turned on the lamp for you, didn't I? We could be talking in the dark right now."

Shepard tipped her head back and looked at the slit window overhead

"Guess I'll agree," Shepard said. "Window like that? With the lights out, wouldn't even have the night sky to look at."

"Oh?" Kaidan laced up his last boot. "This 'Big Window' elitisms again, Shepard?"

"From the guy who spent all his time on the Normandy's observation deck staring out a big window."

"That's not where I spent _all_ my time." He met her eye with a smile, tied the last loop, and stood up. "Let's go, Commander."

Shepard stood. "Everything in order, Major?"

"Shirt, shoes … ready for service, ma'am."

Shepard grinned and moved around him to the door. Kaidan followed on her heels. She paused at the door. He opened the door and popped his head out looking both directions.

"All clear."

She rushed past him into the hall. "Let's move out."


	84. Chapter 84

**Chapter 15**

Kaidan rested in the skycar's seat next to Shepard. She shifted to look at him.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Kaidan glanced up from the glowing screen on his Omni-Tool. "Expense report."

Shepard lifted an eyebrow. "Seriously, Kaidan?"

"Seriously, Shepard."

She clicked her tongue. "Three thirty in the morning, and you're reviewing Spectre expense reports? You work too much."

Kaidan sputtered. "I work too much? You're the one working Terra Firma leads at three A.M. I was asleep, remember?"

"Are you trying to get back to sleep by reading that?"

"I wouldn't dare sleep. Wake up with a Scarpie mustache and my Omni-Tool translator set to Mandarin or something."

"Uh, well, I didn't bring a sharpie, and if changing your Omni-Tool to Mandarin is the worst I can do, I think you'll come out all right."

"It's the worst _I_ can think of, doesn't mean it's the worst you can think of. That's what really matters."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "If I wanted to Sharpie facial hair on you, Kaidan, I've had plenty of opportunity."

"I suppose." He turned back to his Omni-Tool.

Shepard sighed. "Back to the expense report. Kaidan, the shortage of husks and Cerberus troopers has really dropped your standard of fun."

"And, aside from heckling me, are you having fun?"

"Sure. It's three o'clock in the morning, we're on our way to find the secret lair of the terrorist underground. Beats expense reports every time."

"I'm on my way there too, if you noticed. I'm just multitasking, which you reproved me of earlier."

Shepard rested the side of her face against the headrest and eyed him. "That, what you went to the Spectre offices for? Download expense reports? Lost us ten minutes."

"I never said they were Spectre expense reports. Here." He punched some keys on his screen and turned to her. He looked pointedly at her Omni-Tool. "Check it out."

Shepard flicked up her Omni-Tool. "What am I looking at?" Then added quickly," Other than 'expense reports.' You were going to say that, weren't you?"

"Crossed my mind."

She scrolled through the invoice on her screen. Kaidan craned his neck to look out the window at the lights below. They'd chosen a bar with a skycar stop point on the outskirts of the restored part of the city. The theater was close enough to walk from there. No armor, low profile.

"Okay." Shepard turned to him. "Construction material. Eezo related. I'm assuming the purchasers are significant? Terra Firma?"

"Right."

Shepard looked back at the report and fingered through it. "These reports go over months. They're building something. What?"

"Something with eezo. Something with blue quartz and marble. So, something expensive."

"Something for the Summit?"

"It would make sense."

Shepard nodded and seemed to consider it. The skycar slowed and lowered onto a landing pad outside the bar, a glitzy high traffic location. The doors opened, and they hopped out. A greased haired man in a velvet dinner jacket hunched over a waste can. He wiped his mouth and wobbled as he straightened up right. His droopy eyes widened on Shepard. He stumbled forward pointing. Some patrons by the bar door looked over at them.

"You're, uh … you're, uh …"

Shepard dodged around him. He lurched after her. The man's boozy breath struck Kaidan in the face as he snagged the man's arm. Kaidan twisted the man around and gave him a good shove the other direction. He caught up with Shepard. They turned short of the bar's entrance and cut into the dark streetways. A few cars were out but not in this section. Shepard brought a map up on her Omni-Tool and dimmed the light. Shadows of cave-in apartment buildings and broken storefronts loomed over them as they moved toward the theater.

"You're quite the celebrity," Kaidan murmured to her.

Shepard gave a long sigh. "Yeah, I know." She paused and looked down an intersection. She motioned her head to the left. They turned down the street. "Think I should change my hair or something?"

"Don't change anything."

They slipped along the shattered windows and dilapidated walls. This theater was further than it looked on the map. They weren't meeting anyone though. The streets rolled out around them empty and silent.

"What're you hoping to find, Shepard?" Kaidan whispered as they turned around another street corner.

"Not sure." They paused at another intersection, listened, then slunk around the corner. "Think there'll be a welcome sign and table of nametags?"

"If what you overhead is right, it's still three days away."

"So, no pre-conference workshops?"

"Couldn't say," Kaidan said looping along beside her. "I didn't make their mailing list."

"Me neither. Probably just lost in the mail."

"Shepard, you're getting packages you don't even remembering ordering. Your knowing what you should be coming in the mail seems iffy."

"So, you're saying they didn't even send one to me?"

Kaidan grinned at her. "So, entitled now you're a celebrity."

"Excluding people is just asking for someone to crash your party."

The theater's shadow rose overhead. A few lights flickered in the distance around it. Generator lights maybe. They slowed and shuffled along hugging the wall.

"You hear voices?" Shepard asked as they neared the theater.

Kaidan listened then nodded. They sneaked up to the corner. Shepard peeked around it. Kaidan pressed up against the wall next to her. A weak, yellow light crossed her before she pulled her head back.

"I think there really are pre-conference workshops," she whispered.

"How many people?"

Shepard peeked around again, then turned back to him. "Maybe a dozen outside. Not sure how many overall. They're going in and out the front entrance."

"You think they're meeting now?"

"No." Shepard shook her head. "Just early arrivals, I think. Too disorganized. Just milling around. Barrell fire. Some electric lights. They're in some of the surrounding building around too."

"Electrical is being restored in this section," Kaidan said. A prickle crept across his skin and then fell away. Kaidan frowned and looked around until his eyes stopped on something. "The underground tram station over there," Kaidan pointed with his head, "I think the rail's live."

Shepard followed his gaze and squinted. "No reason for it to be functioning in this part of the city. What makes you think it's live?"

"I feel something. Don't you?"

Shepard concentrated for a moment staring at the ground. The mass field was faint, but Kaidan could still feel it. He'd probably feel it stronger if a train actually passed. The field under the train mixing with the rail's field always made his skin tingle when he stood over a passing train. Green energy, sure, but mass fields for the subway? Kaidan still thought it was insane. Too dangerous. One misstep by the rails, let alone the train going by, and poof. Wouldn't even need to clean up the body. Didn't have any rats in the tunnels anymore though.

"Maybe," Shepard said vaguely. "Why use the train system?"

"Transport people, equipment, who knows."

"That big tower over there," Shepard said. "That was the main office hub, or was, for the transportation department. Rail system runs through the underground level. Saw it on the map. It's all lit. Those top floors."

"They're using this whole area," Kaidan breathed. "The theater, that train station, the tower, maybe these other buildings too."

"Let's check out this theater," Shepard said. "If this is the meeting location, we need to get a sense of it."

Kaidan nodded shifting against the wall. He looked past Shepard to the opposite side of the street and waited. Thin light slid across Shepard's forehead and eyes as she peeked around the corner and watched.

"Okay … go." She waved at him.

He shot across the gap to the other side of the street. He skid to a stop and pulled back up against the wall. A brief glimpse of barrel fire and huddled forms burned in his mind. Shepard watched for another moment, then darted across. Kaidan stumbled back as she tumbled up against him. She looked around the edge of the building. No hollering or running footsteps.

They scurried along the building fronts keeping a street back. They worked their way around the theater looming overhead. The theater seemed in fair condition in contrast to the skeletal, half-burned convenience stores along the street.

The street came out into the theater's parking garage. A level overhead probably had landing pads. It made the bottom story of the parking garage almost completely dark. Kaidan and Shepard slunk through the broken cement blocks and gravel. Kaidan stepped lightly listening. No people or bond fires on this side of the theater.

"Maybe not such a big party after all," Shepard murmured.

"Not yet," Kaidan said. "We don't know how many are inside."

"Just a few groups here I think. For now. Let's look for a way in."

They stayed low to the ground crossing the garage. Shepard reached the theater first. Asphalt scrapped under Kaidan's boots, almost there, when he heard it. Shepard's head whipped to the side.

"Dogs," Shepard said.

"Damnit."

Scrambling feet and shrill barking echoed down the theater's wall. In the distance, the dim light from the theater entrance around the corner moved with shadows. Small lights bobbed around the corner following the dogs. Kaidan clutched his pistol. Shepard grabbed his arm.

"Don't. It'll give us away," she said and pulled him with her.

The sprinted into the parking garage. Barking and harsh voices boomed behind them. Shepard cut sideways deeper into the parking garage. Kaidan stared at the clear path to the crumbling store fronts then turned and dashed after her. A cement wall stood in the far corner of the garage. The open doorway bobbed in his vision with each footfall. It was a stairwell. They tumbled through the doorway. A flight of broken stairs circled up the wall. Stairs hung overhead with jagged edge of crumbling cement. The stairs on their level had been destroyed – mounds of rubble at the base of the wall. Barking pitched higher, nearing.

They scrambled to the far wall. A blue ripple rose off Kaidan's skin. They should be deep enough in the stairwell to not have the glow give them away. At least, he hoped. He squinted at the cragged end of the staircase. A blue corona glowed across Shepard's skin as he turned to her. He jerked his head up at the edge of the broken stairs and laced his hands together. Shepard didn't hesitate. She surged forward spraying cement chips and vaulted off his palms. Blue flared over them boosting her up. She snagged the edge of the stairs with a grunt, then pulled herself up. Bits of concrete crumbled down on him. The glowing veil faded away in the darkness between them.

He backed up. Shepard rolled onto her belly and strained over the edge reaching for him. Dogs burst through the doorway. Kaidan threw out a hand. A blue shield knocked them backward. He sprinted forward and leapt. Biotics flared as their fingers touched. She curled her digits into his, and energy burned around them – binding, pulling, lifting. She grabbed his wrist in the rother hand and heaved backward with gritted teeth. Dogs snapped at his feet as he snared the ledge. Their light flickered out. Voices yelled distinct sentences now.

Dogs howled, leaping up and gnashing at them. Flashlights brightened the stairwell as footsteps pounded closer. Kaidan pulled himself the rest of the way up. He stumbled to his feet as the room filled with white light and voices. Shepard put an arm out across his chest and edged them further back as light turned looking up the stairwell.

"What the hell is going on?" It sounded like someone just coming into the stairwell.

"It's not a racoon this time," a voice said. "I saw lights."

Voices overlapped. It sounded like maybe six people. The dogs whined and barked. There was a walloping sound and one shrieked. A man cursed at the dog.

"Pretty worked up. They really think something's up there. Better check it out."

"Get the shuttle. Bringing some of the dogs. Hurry up!"

Shepard pushed them back further from the edge. A large landing pad spread across the top story of the parking garage. The pad connected to the theater where wide recessed doors had probably been a main entrance at one time. Opposite the theater, broken building a few stories high stood just beyond the landing pad. If they could leap that far, they'd need to lower themselves back to the ground level and then over. Shepard's hand gripped his arm, and she tilted her head at the theater entrance. He frowned and shook his head, but she pushed off his arm and sprinted away. Kaidan clenched his jaw and rushed after her. She slid to her knees in the recessed doorway and pulled apart a panel by the doors. Metal welding beaded the crack between the theater doors.

"Shepard." He whispered and touched her shoulder. "Let's go."

She frowned up at him and leaned further into the panel with her Omni-Tool light on. Kaidan hunched over her to block the light from the landing pad.

"The doors are welded. Shepard …"

"Kaidan." She shot him a hard look and put a finger to her lips.

She twisted back to the electrical control panel and reached deep inside. Her skin lit blue, and Kaidan scrambled to block the light. He huddled over her and held up a weak light on his Omni-Tool. She was pulling out wires. No rhyme or reason that he could tell. He cast a look over his shoulder at the landing pad and listened. His brow pinched.

"A shuttle's coming," he whispered.

Shepard scooted back and stomped her boot deep into the panel. Kaidan's eyes widened, and he dropping to his knees to look in the panel. It sparked with torn wiring as her glowing foot smashed into the back panel. The thin metal dented in the middle as she pulled back and slammed into it again. It broke through.

A shuttle hummed louder. Dogs barked. The blue energy winked out as Shepard twisted around and pulled her boot out. Kaidan tore out his pistol and snapped his attention to the landing pad. The shuttle buzzed softly as it lowered onto the pad. He started to his feet, but Shepard snagged his arm.

"Get in."

"What?"

Shepard's eyes moved from his to the open panel. He dropped back to his knees and peered through the panel. It sparked with torn wires. It was barely wider than his shoulders.

"You can make it." Shepard leaned down to his face.

He gaped at her. "Are you kidding? Those wires are still live, Shepard."

"Just put up your barrier. I'll block the light."

The shuttle exhausted and settled onto the landing pad. Kaidan folded his pistol back up and jammed it in his belt.

"Go." Shepard gave him a small push and moved around to block the panel from the landing pad.

Kaidan slipped to the floor on his back. A barrier flared over his skin. Wires sparked in front of his face. Hell. He reached in gingerly.

"Come on, Kaidan," Shepard hissed looking over her shoulder.

The shuttle thudded onto the cement and quieted. Kaidan gritted his teeth and reached through the wires, buzzing and sparking against him. He hooked onto either side of the where the inner panel had been pushed out. He pulled up pushing with his feet. The barrier flared, smoothing and insulated against the popping wires and tight friction. The shuttle door activated.

He pulled his head through the opening into a tight, dark metal space. He clawed out still kicking to angel his shoulders through. Cobwebs layered his face as he strained, barrier flaring and slipping like silk between his skin and the metal. He twisted to the side and pulled the rest of his body through.

Shepard's hands, fingers splayed, reached in behind his boots. He grabbed them letting his barrier run down her arm. He extended it as far down her body as he dared before it lit up the whole doorway on the other side. She shimmied out, catching for a moment with a gasp before pulling her feet through. Dogs lunged against the metal opening, clawing and spraying spittle through the passage. Shepard flared blue and reached out. A dog yelped against a metallic snap. Blue light flashed through the muted passageway. Kaidan squeezed in to look through the panel. Blue faded off the outer panel fitted back onto the outer wall. Shepard must have pulled it back biotically. It had been fast. Hopefully, the dogs had shielded the flare.

Still glowing blue, Shepard twisted wires back together, moving and rearranging them. There wasn't much room, but Kaidan reached in and realigned the wires. A wire snapped making his teeth clench, but it was a weak shock. The theater probably ran on generators. The dogs beat against the outer panel. It budged in the middle but stayed in place.

"Good enough."

Shepard drew back and fumbled for the panel she'd kicked in. She pulled it out from her knee and fit it against the metal wall. Kaidan held the corners and she smashed a fist into the center and then tapped it a few more time to keep it in place. She pulled back, and he cautiously let go. Shepard punched at it, but it stayed. The howling and muffled voices were almost inaudible.


	85. Chapter 85

**Chapter 16**

Kaidan pulled cobwebs off his face as Shepard light flashed on. They were in some sort of narrow metal airduct. Her light illuminated the wide shaft overhead running up to a vent in the roof. Kaidan turned on his own light and lit the duct in front of them as it tapped into a dark tunnel. Slits of light filtered through spaced vents down the tunnel. Shepard smirked at Kaidan with an eyebrow lift then dropped to her hands and knees. She scuttled forward into the duct tunnel. Kaidan dropped down behind her. The vent panels looked out on poorly lit hallways of what was probably the auditorium's balcony. Kaidan moved his head looking through the vent slots and shined his Omni-Tool light on the floor. Footprints crossed back and forth in the dust.

"The auditorium's ahead," Shepard murmured and crawled forward.

Kaidan followed. The duct slipped wetly under Kaidan's hand. He raised his palm in the light of his Omni-Tool.

"Shepard, you bleeding?"

"Huh?" She looked back. "Am I?"

Kaidan reached forward and grabbed her ankles. The leather of her boot slicked his fingertips. He leaned in with his Omni-Tool light and raised the hem of her pants. He pulled down a soppy red sock.

"Shepard …" He said looking up at her. "You didn't know you got bitten?"

"I did?" she said. She strained to lift her ankle up but her knee caught against the wall. "I felt something. Just didn't think … well, it's fine. Let's go."

Shepard dropped her leg back down and crawled forward. Kaidan grabbed at her ankle.

"Don't you want to bandage it or something?"

"No, it's fine," she whispered back at him. "Keep your voice down. It carries."

"I know," he whispered back.

Shepard shuttled forward. The metal vent popped beneath them as Kaidan slid along behind her. The stripped light through the vents illuminated the grimy, red smears in front of him. Kaidan tried to say something again, but his voice muffled under the bending and popping duct. Shepard continued forward. Kaidan's mouth twisted. He grabbed her ankle again and stopped her. Her Omni-Tool light flashed over her shoulder. He held a hand up to shield his face.

"Shepard, it's filthy in here. You're getting blood everywhere. There isn't a time crunch. Let's bandage it up. It's a dog bite."

"I'm not worried. Let's go." She looked forward, then paused and added. "I'll pay for your dry-cleaning if I get blood on you, 'kay?"

"No, not 'kay.' You think I care about getting blood on me? Come on, Shepard. Do what you want though. It's your ankle."

Shepard didn't say anything and shuffled ahead. Kaidan rubbed his bloody hand across his chest then continued after her. The vents grew larger and the light brightened. Like Shepard said, the vent ran along the top of the auditorium.

Shadows lined Shepard's face as she looked down through a vent screen. Kaidan crawled back a step and ducked his head to see through another vent. Rows of theater chairs expanded out from a broad wooden stage. The second story had balcony seating and a few single boxes.

There were people, all human. Some slept in chairs or on the floor in sleeping bags. Two men and a woman stood on the stage arguing. The light caught the white of Shepard's eye as she turned to look at him and tilted her head toward the stage. The moved forward pausing at each pop in the metal duct. They came alongside the stage and stopped. The faint voices rose and fell with the speaker. Kaidan strained to hear.

"Not coming himself!" a bearded man said gesturing.

Kaidan angled to see their faces through the vent. He didn't recognize any of them.

"None of them?" the man continued. "How can we make any decisions?"

The woman cut him off with a chopping motion. "We know the plan. We just need the specifics. The other team leaders will be here and the leadership's representatives. We don't need the heads. We just need marching orders."

The third person, an older man, nodded. "We just need the zones. The targets."

The bearded man shook his head. "I can't believe we're okay with this. They hide-"

"They've always hidden," the woman said. "The Scorpion needs secrecy. The head members need it too. They're important. Could be recognized. There are too many people at this meet. Wait until the Council's Summit. We'll see the Scorpion."

Kaidan looked over at Shepard, but her eyes were fixed looking through the slotted screen. A young man came up a side aisle to the stage. He was only sixteen or seventeen. Kaidan's jaw set. The boy rushed up to them. Kaidan recognized his voice from outside.

"Couldn't find anything. Dogs definitely had something though."

The woman crossed her arms. "Should we …"

"No," the older man said. "Keep looking. Maybe increase the watch. Station sentries down the road. This involves too many members. We're bound to get onlookers."

"Probably be some in the crowd." The bearded man waved out at the chairs.

The woman sighed. Kaidan concentrated to hear her.

"The sensitive information will be in the private meeting. The stage is just for show. Morale."

The boy looked between them. "You want to come look?"

"It's getting close to morning," the older man said. "That should help."

"I'll go check with you," the woman said to the boy.

The bearded man lingered for a moment then stormed down an aisle. The others dispersed. Some of the people in the sleeping bags stirred. Shepard looked at Kaidan and tilted her head forward.

"Let's see how far this vent goes," she whispered. "See if we can see backstage."

Kaidan searched in his pocket and found them. He clicked one to the metal vent Shepard had been looking out. Shepard squinted back at him.

"What are you … Are you bugging it?"

"I have four more," Kaidan said.

"Good thinking, Major."

"See. I didn't go to the Spectre offices to download expense reports."

"Uh huh." Shepard crawled forward. "Wouldn't put it past you, Kaidan."

"I'm not that boring. Come on."

Shepard kicked her foot back at him. "I'm just giving you a hard time."

"Yeah, I know, Shepard." He pushed her foot away. "You're still bleeding, you know."

"Hmm."

The duct twisted and the vent panels spaced out until they disappeared. Kaidan turned on his Omni-Tool light.

"Are you grumbling back there, Kaidan?"

"Should we look up a blueprint? At some point, it would be nice to get out."

"You suggesting we backtrack?"

"Not necessarily. Just … Never mind. Go ahead. Lead the way."

"I'm the one bleeding from a dog bite. We get trapped up here, I'm dying first."

Kaidan exhaled a long hiss and reached for her ankle again. "Let me bandage it, Shepard."

"Shhh! Your voice—"

"Carries?" Kaidan whispered. "You're just as loud, Shepard. I know you don't think you are, but you are."

Shepard flashed her light back at him. He squinted.

"Radio silence." She waved a hand forward.

They shuffled along on their hands and knees in silence. This vent was never going to end. Shepard stopped and a thin light illuminated her face. She flashed her Omni-Tool light upward and rolled onto her back. Kaidan bent to look. There was a vent in the ceiling of the duct. Shepard peered down her body at him then looked back up and pushing up on vent with both hands. It gave way. She flashed him a smile then crawled up through it. Kaidan followed her.

The vent led out onto an indented curve where the wall met the ceiling, probably not a place anyone was meant to stand. Rolled-up back drops and suspension lines reaching out around them. The dimly lit backstage area stood below crowded with set materials and props. Nothing moved below. It was empty.

Shepard raised on the balls of her feet and peered below. Her eyes passed over the ropes and pullies for the backdrops. She grinned. Oh no. He glanced over the edge. When he turned back to her, she had that glint in her eyes. There had to be a better way. But fine. He wasn't going back in that duct. He gave her a nod and moved to the ledge.

Shepard shimmered and reached out to one of the ropes. Metal pullies squeaked as the rope glowed, unwinding, and slithering through the air to them. Kaidan caught it in a fist and shot a glance back at Shepard. The rope curled taut around the pulley above, and Shepard smiled at him. He looped the rope into a foothold and gripped it tight. He met Shepard's eye then stepped off.

He tried not to give himself much momentum, but he still swung. He swung into the unfurled backdrop but deflected it with a glowing hand. Shepard burned like a blue flame as the pendulating rope lowered to the stage floor. He released the rope and dropped into a crouch. He made a quick circuit of the backstage – chairs, background cut outs, fake plants, tables, even a piano, a couple open doorways along the wall bulging with clutter. On either side of the stage stood sliding doors. They probably connected to the main stage judging by the muffled voices and scuffing sounds. It was clear though.

The rope swung slowly just above Kaidan's head. He raised his hand, and it glowed blue as it coiled upward. The pullies squealed. The rolled-up backdrops and scaffolding creaked overhead dropping dust on his head as the rope wound around its pulley. From this distance, it took some concentration to coil the rope and bring the end over to Shepard. She could lower herself undoubtably, but one of the first things you learned as a biotic was not to juggle too many tricks at once. Manipulating a rope and pulley, ready to catch or correct any problem, was enough on its own without managing your own descent. Kaidan had seen more than one biotic juggle too many things at once and fail. Shepard clutched the end of the rope. Her weight shifted onto it as she dropped over the side.

The stage's side door clicked, and floorboards creaked. Kaidan exhaled sharply but kept his eyes fixed on Shepard. The door's seal hissed open as the doors slid apart. She was only halfway. Shepard glowed and reached out a hand. Something large scrapped across the wooden floorboards behind Kaidan. It crashed into the doorway to a surprised yell. Shepard released the rope. She slapped to the floor on bending knees and caught herself with her hands. They dropped the mass effect fields, and the room dropped into a dim yellow.

Shepard pushed off the floor tearing to her feet. Kaidan raced behind her around the piano and sliding to the floor as the door's blockage burst open. Five men tumbled through the doorway shoving aside a bulky costume rack with harsh voices. Their footsteps pounded into the center of backstage. One of the men yelled and pointed upward. The rope swung slowly above them. Shepard touched a pistol to her thigh. The muscles in the back of her hand tightened as her finger curled around the trigged. A man waved around the room and one looked their direction. He drew closer with narrowing eyes. Shepard pressed back against the piano and raised her pistol up beside her head. Kaidan's eyes shifted up to the swinging rope and creaking backdrops overhead.

A blues flash caught all the men's attentions. Their heads snapped up. Kaidan tore out the rigging and scaffolding, and it all gave way. Kaidan pushed Shepard back as everything crashed down. Screams swallowed in the concussion. Flying debris and torn shaffolding exploded against a blue shield rippling from their hands. Pieces of metal and wood cut into the floor around them.

Voices screamed as footsteps charging up the stairs to the main stage outside the doors. Broken wreckage groaned with pieces still falling and sliding in a swirling gloom of dust. Shepard coughed and covered her mouth. A man moaned on the edge of the pile-up. Shepard flashed blue and snapped his neck before Kaidan had even turned all the way. She shoved Kaidan from behind, and they slid along the wall as a crowd poured through the two side doors. They merged into the crowd as it welled around the debris. People jostled and rushed to move debris. Others ran screaming for help. Kaidan slipped through the nearest side door with Shepard trailing behind. On the other side of the theater, bodies flooded in from outside and swarmed up the aisles to the stage. Several of the ones running up wore armor and clutched rifles to their chest. They bumped around people rushing on stage and headed down a side aisle.

The older man from earlier appeared at the back of the auditorium and roared something. He shoved people aside and tore down the aisle coming directly at Shepard and Kaidan. The woman from earlier was yelling on his heels. Kaidan hedged in front of Shepard. She was a lot more recognizable. Kaidan's eyes strayed to the rifles thumping against armored chests of the men running by. The man's eyes roamed over faces as he pushed them aside nearing them. Kaidan moved sideways pressing Shepard against the wall behind his shoulder. He didn't let his eyes drop. The man slowed as his eyes met Kaidan's. The woman behind him slowed too studying Kaidan. Blood rushed in Kaidan's ears, but he nodded with a smile. The man's brow furrowed, and he opened his mouth. Someone screamed from the stage.

"Petersons's alive! We need medical."

The man eyed Kaidan darkly but turned his head to the stage. The woman touched his arm and whispered something.

"Someone find Yuorik!" he said. "You, Gable, you need to …"

The man brushed past Kaidan. The woman didn't spare him a glance. The people around them moved forward again as the man passed up to the stage. A woman behind Kaidan yelled for bandages and water. As they neared the auditorium's entrance, three armed men pushed them aside as two people rushed by with a stretched. The people were going so many different directions at once. Kaidan tried to keep his gait purposeful as they walked down the theater's entrance hallway and out the front door. No one seemed to notice as they slipped around the barrel fires and around the corner of the building into the dark. Shepard followed a little delayed.

"More people than I thought," Kaidan muttered.

"If this is just the pre-conference workshops …" Shepard eyed him sideways.

They jogged along the side of the theater. The parking garage rose ahead of them. Shepard slowed with a grimace. Her left leg trailed with each stiff step. Kaidan frowned. Dogs barked behind them from the front of the theater. Lights came around the corner illuminating dogs rushing ahead of the voices.

"Must be in the off-limits area," Kaidan said.

"Deja vu." Shepard's jaw flexed, and she picked up her pace.

They entered the parking garage and cut to the left for the row of storefronts. Shepard tripped over a cement parking block, and Kaidan grabbed her elbow. The dogs and voices echoed down the side of the theater. Shepard stumbled into a sprint, and Kaidan rushed to keep up. A dim light beyond the edge of the parking garage looked like the beginning of dawn. If they could make it to the buildings, they could hide. Shepard faltered.

"Shepard!"

She limped a step and touched her calf with a hiss. Barks reverberated through the cement parking garage. She swung her head and looked back. Chips of pavement scattered out under her feet as she lurched forward again. She pumped her arms, tripping a little, eyes narrowing on the parking lot exit. A voice yelled something behind them. One of the dogs howled. Shepard lagged. Kaidan slowed, darted a look over his shoulder, and scooped her up. She didn't fight him. She clung to his neck and peered over his shoulder breathing hard into this ear. They broke out from under the shadow of the parking garage and raced to the closest building.

"Kaidan …"

He skidded up the broken front window of some store. He tumbled Shepard over the edge of the jagged glass and leaped over as dogs hit into the wall. He almost threw out a shield, but it'd be too dark not to be seen. The people would be close enough to see the light. He stumbled back instead and shoved Shepard toward a stairway. The dogs roared snapping lunging outside the broken window. One yelped as it broke out the bottom of the jagged glass and dropped through.

The stairway crumbled with exposed bricks as they rolled out onto the second story. The whole right side had caved in and exposed. A dog bellowed tearing up the stairs about to the clear the landing. Kaidan mashed it with his boot as it came up the last stair. It toppled overtop the pack rushing up behind.

"Kaidan."

She was halfway up a fire escape ladder to the roof. Kaidan stumbled back kicking at another dog. Voices yelled up the stairway. He jumped up the ladder smashing down at the dogs lunging at them. A bit hooked on the sole of his boot. He kicked it back and pulled up the final rungs. Shepard slammed the escape ladder's hatch closed

"They'll search up here. I heard them," Kaidan said.

The building abutting the roof had probably been several stories high. Torn curtains riffled through a broken window a story above. Voiced hollered at the dogs amid a few shrill hurt whines. Probably beating them back to the ladder.

Kaidan turned to Shepard. She was already ready. He hoisted her up. He jumped and snagged the window edge. Shepard pulled him up. His boots scrambled over the window seal right as the hatch flung open with a metallic bang. Shepard peeked over the window ledge. Wide eyes turned back to him, and she motioned Kaidan deeper into the building. They rushed down a long hall. Caved-in offices lined the soiled blue carpet. They went down a staircase and moved through two more collapsing buildings before they slowed. Shepard limped up a twisting flight of stairs.

"Doing all right?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah," Shepard said. "More worried about the blood trail I'm leaving. You get bitten?"

He shook his head. They forced open the door at the top of the stairway and spilled onto a flat roof. They slunk to the wall and squinted over the rim. A group of people and dogs moved in the low morning light on edge of the parking garage. It was too far and dark to count them, but nothing else moved in the streets. The people lingered in a group but called back any of the dogs straying toward the street. Shepard released a long breath. She put her back against the wall and melting down the wall.

"Thought they saw the blood on the roof," she said.

"Think we gave ourselves away?" He said, eyes fixed on them.

"We caused a commotion. Let's just hope they don't suspect we're Spectres or anything official."

"Two Council Spectres routed by dogs? For the embarrassment alone, I hope they don't suspect."

"They suspect biotics, and they'd know we're military. Besides, can't very well leave a pile of bodes. That would raise enough alarm to change venue. Just hope that 'accident' backstage took out all the witnesses."

"Not Peterson," Kaidan said. "Apparently."

"It was fast. Probably didn't see anything."

Kaidan slipped down the wall next to Shepard and leaned his head back. Blood oozed under Shepard's fingertips as she prodded at bit on her ankle. Kaidan leaned over and cupped a hand over his Omni-Tool light as he looked at it.

"Wish I had medigel, Shepard."

"Never appreciated medigel like I should have."

"Like anything you get used to probably."

"I suppose."

Kaidan leaned back and touched a slice on his forearm. Must have gotten it reaching over the broken glass when he dropped Shepard. Shepard's fingers touched his arm, and she bended to look at it. She looked up at him, and he smiled at her.

"You okay?" he asked.

She shrugged scooting down.

"Tell you after the next full moon," she said resting flat on the floor.

"Medigel's not going to help that."

"Would for now. I have two weeks to figure out my next move."

Kaidan rested his elbows on his knees. He craned his neck to the see the shadowed outline of the theater behind them.

"It bother you too, they're not obeying the city leash law?" Kaidan asked.

"Pretty sure they don't have burn permits for those barrels either," Shepard said.

"You see those rifles? That armor?"

"Caught my eye. Must have some generous benefactors."

"Rifles were Tsunami line. Standard issue."

Shepard's eyes rolled up to his, but she didn't say anything.

Kaidan leaned back on his arms. "What now? They're stepping up their patrols in the street. Up for leaping across rooftops?"

Shepard gave a long sigh, hesitated, then sat up. "Let's go."

"I'm joking." He pushed her back down. "Let's call a friend, right?"

Shepard settled against the floor. "Hope you have more cousins to go with all these favors you're owing."

"I won't run out." Kaidan grinned. "I suppose I should have mentioned Henry's views on monogamy. I can use his card over and over."

Shepard smacked him lightly on the leg. "Hey. You gave me your playboy cousin?"

"Playboy?" Kaidan smirked. "Maybe aspiring."

"Well, good luck using your reusable card on Vega or Joker or Garrus or whoever else."

"Vega already got his card," Kaidan said. "How about we message … What time is it? Who gets up this early?"

"They have to find a shuttle, work out a way to come in unseen, and rescue us from being, quite literally, being treed by dogs. Being woken up is only a fraction of the inconvenience."

Kaidan looked down at her. "So, being woken up even earlier and actually getting treed by the dogs with you … where does that rank?"

Shepard poked his knee. "I won't joke, Kaidan. Ranks pretty high."

"Well," he said. "You are the one helping me with my Terra Firma angle, maybe it's me actually owing you."

"I want a better cousin."

"Should have read your warranty."

Kaidan typed a message into his Omni-Tool and tapped the send button. He slid down beside her and looked up at the sky.

"I put out the SOS."

"We probably could make it from roof to roof. I think they recalled the dogs. The sentries can't be out too far."

"Already sent the message."

"Treed by dogs."

"Right."

Shepard interlaced her fingers across her middle and sighed. Kaidan rested his face against the cement and watched her. Her eyelashes blinked slowly with each breath as she stared up at the fading night sky. Pale morning light touched the stray hairs across her forehead. Her lips curved up, and her eyes shifted over to his. Kaidan bolted upright.

Shepard frowned up at him. "What's the matter?"

He took a deep breath and hunched forward pulling up his Omni-Tool. "Nothing."

In Kaidan's peripheral vision, Shepard twisted her face back to the sky. He stared straight forward with his heart pounding. He was forgetting himself. It wasn't the old times. He squeezed his eyes shut and let the feeling slide away. His wrist buzzed. He raised his Omni-Tool flashing with a message. Kaidan brought it up.

"Joker's coming," he said turned the screen off.

"Joker?" Shepard asked. "You know, he already thinks you owe him one."

"I know," Kaidan said absently. His throat felt dry.

"When he pulls in for us, I wouldn't lead with your Henry card," Shepard said. "Joker could quite literally leave you to the dogs."

Kaidan rubbed a spot on his arm and didn't say anything for a moment. When he looked over, she was frowning at him. He straightened and flashed her a smile.

"I think the dogs are circling for _you_." He fixed a smile on her. "The white one wants seconds."

"The great white one?" Shepard grinned.

Kaidan nodded then looked away. They sat in silence except for distant barking and a sack caught in on a broken antenna and moving in the breeze. Geese honked overhead. Kaidan brought up his Omni-Tool and tapped through the screens.

"So, uh … why Joker?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan glanced back at her. "Access to a shuttle. Doesn't need a pilot. Probably can manage a stealthy extraction."

"Makes sense."

Kaidan scrolled down the holoscreen glowing on his arm. They were all functioning, all five bugs. Shepard shifted on the ground beside him.

"Why not Liara?"

"Liara?" He paused. "Why?"

"I thought maybe … She doesn't live too far off."

Kaidan punched a button activating each bug. "Well, if I knew you cared, I would have taken requests."

"I don't care."

He shrugged. She lifted her head and squinted at his screen. He held his arm out for her to see.

"You placed them all? When?"

"A lot more backstage than I wanted, but we'll see."

Shepard sat up on her elbows. "One of us needs to be back here to catch that private meeting. If there's a backroom conversation, we can't count on the bugs picking it up."

"I agree."

Kaidan touched his ear and concentrated. They worked. He switched between the bugs. It was just chatter. Seemed like there was still a lot of upset over the disaster backstage. No suspicions being voiced that he could hear. Didn't mean there weren't any though. He'd have a lot of audio to shift through as they continued to record. Shepard watched him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? You want to listen too?"

"No."

Kaidan's eyes moved back to holoscreen, but he could still see her watching him. Kaidan pulled the earpiece out and curled his hand around it as he looked back at her.

"What's the matter, Shepard?"

She held his eye but didn't say anything. He snapped the earpiece back into his Omni-Tool and turned to face her. Their eyes met. The silence stretched between them tightening in his chest, and he swallowed dryly. A soft light gleamed in her eyes, and energy surged in his chest.

"Shepard …"

A shuttle engine hummed. Shepard sat and up and twist her head to it. A message blinked on Kaidan's Omni-Tool.

"Rides here," he said letting out a slow breath and then stood.

It came in low and droned quietly as the door slid open. Shepard took a flying leap and stumbled to catch herself inside the shuttle. Kaidan followed and mashed the button to close the door. He clicked the earpiece out of his Omni-Tool again. If someone saw the shuttle, the information might take a while though to filter indoors where his bugs could pick it up. Still, hopefully if it was noticed, it would be like Shepard said. If there wasn't a reason to suspect Alliance or Council infiltration, they wouldn't change any plans. Shepard limped up by Joker. He looked around his seat at them as the front window lit up with skyscrapers and skycars.

"Okay, guys, next time we see Cortez, we're talking about this. You see the way I slid in there?"

"Slick, Joker," Shepard said leaning against the wall behind his seat.

"Kept the hum down and lift cycle low. Low purr. In and out. About as cloak and daggers as you can get on this thing."

Shepard grinned as she sagged against the wall. Kaidan walked over, but she waved him off.

"Bring any medigel, Joker?"


	86. Chapter 86

**Chapter 17**

Kaidan touched the cut on his forearm as the skin tightening and pulling together. It sealed under the numbing coolness of medigel. He looked up at the brightening dawn through the paned windows.

Shepard set the medigel injector on the counter in Miranda's office. The folding chair squeaked as she hunched over her ankle. She rested it across the other knee and rolled her pants' leg up. The seal on the door hissed, and Shepard's head swung to it as it opened. Her slender fingers paused grazing the tapered curve of calf above the ankle. Kaidan blinked, heart pounding, and snapped his attention back to the window.

"This is it for now," Miranda's voice said.

Kaidan tilted his head just in time to catch a tube of medigel just before it hit his chest. Shepard snatched hers out of the air and smiled down at it in her open fist.

"Keep the ones you have too," Miranda said. "You don't know what I had to do for them."

"Thanks, Miranda," Shepard said grabbing the other injector and stuffing them both in a pocket. "You always come through."

"So far, Shepard. Keep that Medigel on you. Don't inject it in your Omni-Tool and let it go bad. We still haven't been able to compound it. Stock is sparing."

"I know," Shepard said.

Squeaking came from the the plexiglass cages lined up on the counter. Miranda saw him looking.

"I've been using that poison's formula you sent me," she said. "Working on a monoclonal binding protein to neutralize it a victim's system."

"Didn't work for the rabbit?" Kaidan asked.

Miranda's head turned to the first cage in the row. She walked over and tapped the glass with the back of her knuckles, then frowned.

"Guess not."

"Mice look perky," Shepard said.

"Haven't introduced the poison yet."

Kaidan fisted the medigel injectors and crossed to the office door. "Thanks, Miranda."

"Where you going?" Shepard frowned.

"I'm meeting with Lieutenant Kophki in an hour."

"Pretty early meeting," Shepard said.

"He's in Tokyo." Kaidan stopped at the door. "I'll catch you later, Shepard. I'll send the codes to the Spectre offices so you can access audio off those bugs."

"Thanks. Hey though." She stood up. "You going to that Alliance shindig tonight?"

"The outlook presentation with the lawn reception?" he asked with a sigh. "Told to be there. I think Hackett's saving me a seat right between himself and General Dolan."

"Cushy." Shepard smiled.

Kaidan pressed his lips with a shrug and turned.

"And Kaidan," Shepard said. Kaidan paused at the open door. "It was good working with you. Felt like old times."

Kaidan glanced back at Miranda, who'd turned to the window with her datapad. He glanced over at Shepard briefly forcing a weak smile and moved away.

"Good to see you too, Shepard."

He hurried down the hospital hallway and navigated his way to the skycar terminal outside. The air rolled in cool and foggy off the ocean. He breathed it in as he waited watching the weak morning light in the east. He'd dreaded this – spending time together again, working together – but it had been fine. It should only get easier here on out. A new normal. The memories, the feelings, the loss would fade and burn away like fog in the morning. Maybe it was too much to hope he'd feel nothing, but to control it, instead of it controlling him – he could get there. He'd taken the first step.


	87. Chapter 87

**Chapter 18**

Shepard gazed around the Summit Hall. Big as a cathedral and took just about as long to build. Some scaffolding in the back showed they still had finishing touches. It felt echoey with only a hundred people. Come the Summit, when it filled up, everyone talking like this would be a deafening roar.

Across the hall, Admiral Hackett's eyes locked on Shepard as he rounded a group of turien officials milling beside the stage. There were only a few Alliance officials here. He shook skimming along the front row of seats until he met her. She snapped him a salute. He returned it with a smile.

"Commander Shepard."

"Admiral."

"Glad to see you back on duty."

"Thank you, sir."

He stood shoulder to shoulder with her facing the panoramic stage. Oriana looked small up on the massive stage glancing at the clock on the wall. She gave a wavering smile as she shook the Councilor's hands and fidgeted with a bracelet. A black cape draped over the sculpture towering behind her. Miranda stood beside and gave Shepard a smirking smile as they talked to Councilor Mason. Reporters readied themselves around the elevated edge of the stage angling their cameras. For once, they weren't after Shepard.

"You've been helping with the Terra Firma threat?" Hackett asked.

"Yes. You didn't need any information on that, did you?"

"What? No, no. I don't want anything on that. You don't need to share it. But … how are things going with it?"

"We have some leads."

"And by 'we,' you mean Major Alenko."

Shepard glanced sideways at him. "Is that a problem?"

"No." Hackett shook his head and clasped his hands behind his back. "You're both Spectres. You haven't … associated in some time. A brief collaboration on something of this order isn't unwelcomed."

Shepard didn't say anything.

"Have you seen the Normandy yet?" Hackett asked.

"I thought she was being detailed."

"We have some major repairs underway. New elevator system being installed. Unfortunately, resources are limited, it will be the same deep space shuttle model as before."

Shepard stifled a curse under her breath and glanced sideways at him. "That shuttle nearly killed everyone in the cargo bay. If the Normandy's hull wasn't hardened to withstand incendiary explosions on that scale, the whole ship would've gone down."

"Eezo's limited. These older coredrive models use less of it. Pursue it with Admiral Wilson though. Maybe he can get somewhere with it. We'll need her ready. The relays will be up."

"If we recover the shard."

"When we recover the shard, yes. The relay repairs are nearly complete other than that. There are contingency plans if it can't be found. Regardless, when it's functional, you'll get your wish to be out there again. A lot of possibilities for the Normandy, for you."

"And my crew?"

"Your choosing, within reason. I imagine you'll get some say in your XO this time. But Admiral Wilson should talk with you about this, not me."

People hushed and turned to the stage as the Councilors assembled in line. Miranda patted Oriana's arm and crossed to the stairs. Next to the Councilors, Oriana interlaced and re-laced her fingers with a strained smile. Miranda walked along the edge of the stage and stood beside Shepard.

"I'm not part of the sculpture, right?" Shepard asked.

"Don't worry," Miranda said.

Reporters edged into position around the stage as various officials and Alliance officers filling in around. In a few days, the room would bulge with almost every species, the most important players, the highest stakes, decisions on the fate of the galaxy.

Councilor Mason spoke as Oriana bit her lip and straightened her back. Miranda beamed with her eyes fixed on Oriana as they readied to pull off the cape. Some of the cameras bobbed pivoting to focus on Shepard. Why the press wanted her reaction, she couldn't say, except they just loved suffocating her.

Shepard readied a smile and stretched her tender calf. The dog bite barely hurt anymore. Kaidan was right. You really didn't appreciate medigel until you'd gone without it. Then to have it back - the relief. The dog bite had been starting to hurt like hell, but then that fast, the hurt was better. It felt like it hadn't even happened.

Oriana tugged the cape away. It rippled to the stage's granite floor. An obsidian sculpture towered over the Councilors. Figures in the sculpture stood side by side curving around the image of the crucible with their hands overlapping on top of it - human, turien, asari salarian, quarian … geth. Shepard's throat tightened. Geth. Looking over the figures' shoulder stood many more in the sculpture's background – hanar, vorcha, batarian, drell, volus. The sculpture was perfect. Exactly the focal point the Summit needed to remind everyone how far they'd come and what they risked. The crowd boiled with applause. Miranda smile so broad her teeth peeked through. She didn't even appear to be trying to stifle it. Shepard clapped with a grin. There was hope going forward.

 

* * *

 

Miranda handed Shepard a flute of champagne. Shepard accepted it with a nod and sipped it as she circled the statue on stage. She craned her neck up to see the figures' faces.

"Do you like it?" Oriana glowed coming up to her.

"It's perfect, Oriana."

"Thanks, Commander Shepard."

"So formal," Shepard grinned. "No one's listening."

"I am," Miranda said.

"You don't count," Shepard said.

A voice called across the stage at them.

"Diana Allers, Battlespace News. You're the artist, correct?"

Shepard pivoted and lifted her flute to Diana. The reporter stood below the stage and strained toward them with a microphone. Her camera bobbed just at the edge of the stage but not over it. A C-Sec officer eyed Diana from the corner of the stage.

"Ori, go talk to her." Shepard nodded toward Diana.

"Really, Shepard?" Miranda asked. "The press?"

"Why not?" Shepard said. "She worked hard on this. It's wonderful. Go get some credit. Bring some attention to it and what it stands for. Go with her, Miranda."

Oriana glanced hesitantly at Miranda. Miranda gave Shepard a pointed sigh then turned and ushered Oriana to the stairs. Allers stumbled over another reporter as she rushed to the meet them at the bottom of the stairs.

Not many people were left. A few Alliance officers mingled to the side. It was mostly just reporters. A waiter came by with a tray of empty flutes and eyed hers, but she waved him on and took another sip.

The statue was well done. The lines and faces looked real. Better artistic work than Shepard could ever dream of doing. Miranda's genes really were perfect. Shepard touched the smooth black stone and ran her eyes up the body of the geth. Extinct now. Millions wiped out in one instant by one decision by one person.

She drew an unsteady breath, feeling a little dizzy, and stumbled back a step. The glass flute tipped in her fingertips. It shattered at her feet in a splash of champagne and glass. A waiter rushed over with a towel over his arm. Too early for champagne anyway. Shepard dropped to her hands next to him as he spread the towel out.

"I'm so …" Shepard stared at the champagne spreading across the floor.

She stood up slowly and turned in a circle with widening eyes. Reporters yelled at her from the side of the stage, but she ignored them. A smile curved up on her lips. She flicked on her Omni-Tool. Kaidan couldn't be that busy today.

 

* * *

 

Shepard scrolled through the scan results on her Omni-Tool. She'd finally finished scanning the right side of the stage. Still nothing. She lowered herself onto the stage's stone steps and reviewed the records from the Summit Planning Committee. They still weren't helpful. Shepard sat back against the top step and sighed.

She glanced around the stage again. For her tour, it looked like construction was about finished. Only the details were left. The sprinkler system was only half installed. The ladders and boxes of sprinkler heads shoved back stage for the ceremony. The glass case on the stage's wall was still empty where the biotic fire axe and AED machine needed to placed. Shepard doubted the fire alarms had been tested yet. All contingencies for a disaster, but maybe not the right disaster.

She brought up her Omni-Tool's message screen again. Maybe he'd decided not to come after all. It had been an hour since the first message asking him to meet her. She hadn't gotten a response. She could tell he'd received it and read it, but time ticked by with nothing. She'd finally sent a second message and just come right out with what she'd found. She'd gotten a quick reply - he was coming. With all the scan results negative, she should probably just message him again. Tell him not worry about it after all. She brought up a message window.

A door in the back opened and Kaidan rushed through. He took a side aisle scanning the room around him until his eyes stopped on her. She stood up from the stairs. The hall was empty except for them. As he neared, his eyes shifted to the stage.

"Have you found anything?" he asked.

Shepard smirked. "Hi back, Kaidan."

His eyes flicked back to her. "Sorry. Hi."

Shepard pivoted to face the stage. "I almost messaged you. I haven't found anything."

The stage came up to Kaidan's chest, and he leaned over it running a hand over the tiling.

"It's one solid piece," Shepard said. "It's set in the stage like a giant disc. I have the instillation records. The Summit Planning Committee ordered it. Installed last week. I thought it may conceal explosives, but I can't find anything incendiary."

"Hmm." He turned to her. "Pretty big coincidence if it's not connected. Blue quartz and marble. The timing."

"Right. Any ideas?"

Kaidan lifted his arm in the air over the edge of the stage. A distortion in the air wavered around his arm as it moved.

"How's the shield?" he asked.

Shepard stepped back, drew her pistol from her belt, and fired. Kaidan tripped backward with a curse and pressing palms to his ears.

"What the hell, Shepard!"

"Their new shield technology's working." Shepard jammed her pistol away. "Well, from bullets anyway."

Kaidan lowered his hands. "You couldn't warn me?"

"Between drawing my gun and discharging it, there were a few seconds. There's your warning. Besides, I fired in the corner not next to you."

The air still rippled at the corner of the stage. Shepard strolled over and bent next to the front row of chairs. A flattened bullet turned over in her fingertips as she stood.

"We still don't know if it's working to deflect biotic attacks," Kaidan said.

"Right you are." Shepard tossed the bullet up and caught it. "How about you go on stage, and we'll find out."

Kaidan eyed her. "How about you go on stage, and we'll find out."

A grin split Shepard's face.  She crossed over to him. "You're afraid I'll hurt you."

"Shepard, don't get me wrong - you're an amazing biotic, a huge force on the field - but you're, uh … not gentle."

"Gentle?" Shepard grinned even wider. "Come on, you like it rough."

His eyes rounded and flashed to her face.  She smiled back.  He looked away sharply. The smile broadened on her face watching him squirm.

"Maybe not as much as you think," he said crossing his arms and glanced up at her.

"Come on," Shepard said. "Get up there. I'll give you the smallest tap. If the barrier's working, you won't even feel that much."

Kaidan drew out a long sigh but dropped his arms and passed around her. He trotted up the stairs onto the stage. Nearing the center, his steps slowed.  He glanced around the stage with a wrinkling brow.

"You ready?" she asked.

His focus snapped back to her. He blinked as if clearing his head and found a central point on the stage.

"Small tap," he reminded.

"Like running into a butterfly. I promise."

"Okay." He waited.

Shepard glowed, energy buzzing under her skin.  She flung her hand out at him.

"Anything?" she asked.

"Not a thing."

"There's our answer then."

Kaidan seemed to catch something in the edge of his vision. He turned with raised eyebrows.

"Oriana's statue?"

"Yeah. I scanned it too. Nothing."

Kaidan shuffled to the back of the stage and stared up at it. "It's amazing."

Shepard leaned against the edge of the stage and put a palm on the blue quartz floor. The shield was working to block outside gunfire and biotics then. An idea crossed her mind. She shot along the edge of the stage and up the stairs. Kaidan circled the statue running a hand along the surface.

A feeling - something familiar, magnetic and jittery - drew Shepard's feet forward across the stage. As she crossed over the center, it spiked then die away. She took a step back. For a second, she almost forgot why she came onstage. The air rippled around the stage's edge, and her eyes went to Kaidan. The shield prevented attacks from the outside, but the attacker might not be on the outside. What if … Shepard flared blue. Kaidan twisted to look at her with a pinched brow. Small tap. Shepard raised her hand to him, and the air flashed. Kaidan flew across the stage in a burst of light. Shepard yelped and scrambled after him.

"Kaidan! Damnit."

He lay flat on his back on the stage. His eyes cracked opened. The flash of energy had nearly thrown him off the stage. His forearm hung over the rim of the stage, and he blinked droopily up at the stage lights. Her shadow fell over his face as she bent over him.

"Kaidan? Hey, hey. You okay?"

His eyes shifted lazily to her face. He drew in a deep breath, blinking rapidly as if trying to bring her into focus.

"Say something. You okay?"

He nodded but didn't say anything. Perhaps she needed to call a doctor. He took another deep breath, chest rising.

"I'm okay," he said.

"Kaidan." She studied his face. He met her eyes as if finally really seeing her. "I'm sorry. You all right?"

His face scrunched, and he raised himself up onto his elbows. She stood and put a hand down to pull him up.

"Damn, Shepard," he moaned. "What happened to the small tap?"

"It was," she said.

He grabbed her hand, and she hauled him to his feet.  He staggered back a step.

"That was like running into a butterfly?" he said. "What the hell type of butterflies do they have on Mindoir?"

Shepard laughed. "Uh, I swear, it really was a small tap. Or meant to be. You all right?"

He touched the back of his head then drew his hand back and looked at it. "I'm fine."

"You looking for blood?"

"Well, yeah. Damn, Shepard. Your small tap would put down a krogan. I said you were heavy handed."

"I was just seeing if biotics work inside the shield. Should have warned you. Sorry."

Kaidan dug around in his pocket and pulled out two green capsules. He looked at them for a minute then tipping his head back and swallowing them.

"Dr. Chakwas would get on you for not taking those with water."

He shrugged. "If Dr. Chakwas was here, I'd be half way to an MRI."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that."

Getting a new implant, she should have anticipated it wouldn't be a straight across transition. She still needed to get a better feel for gauging her strength, apparently. She really had meant it to be a small tap. She eyed him with a frown.

"Okay, Kaidan." Shepard took a step back and put her arms out. "Give me a small tap."

"I don't need paybacks, Shepard." He felt the back of his head again and winced.

"Not paybacks. Just … why don't you show me your version of a light tap."

He sighed and walked past tapping her shoulder with a finger. "Light tap. There."

Shepard spun around. "Uh huh. Now biotically."

Kaidan stopped in the middle of the stage.

"Come on," Shepard said. "Show me up."

"Fine." He sighedand turned back to her.

Blue washed over his skin, and he raised a hand. Shepard's vision flashed. She reeled backward with a gasp, stumbled, but stayed on her feet. She sucked air in through her teeth and doubled over. White flashes swam in her vision as footsteps pounded across the stage.  Kaidan's hand grabbed her shoulder.

"Shepard!"

She clasped his arm, steadying herself, and caught her breath. The pain of being socked in the gut loosened, and her vision cleared. She straightened her back with a cringe. Shallow breaths eased the sharp pain in her ribs. Kaidan stared into her face with round eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered. "I … hell, I'm so sorry."

"Your small tap sucks, Kaidan."

Shepard pushed him back and pulled herself taller with a grimace.

"All that bragging about your soft touch, Kaidan." Shepard groaned.

"Bragging? I wasn't the one comparing my biotics to a butterfly."

Shepard hugged her middle. Kaidan put a hand on her shoulder again.

"I'm so sorry, Shepard. You really okay?"

"That _was_ meant to be a soft tap, right?"

Kaidan gaped at her. "Why even ask me that? Of course, it was. I wouldn't hurt you."

"Something's off then. We both thought we were only giving a little tap."

Kaidan dropped his hand from Shepard's shoulder and stared around them.

"I think you're right." He turned on his Omni-Tool.

Shepard tilted her head to see his screen as laser rays glowed across the floor in front of them. Kaidan paced around the stage as the beams scanned the stage. His feet moved slowly across the stage's center. He stopped and backed up a step. That familiar energy was still there pulling at her. She came up next to him.

"I feel something here," she said.

"Me too," he said and looked back at her. "I felt it when I first came onstage. Doesn't feel like FLT or a biotic signature. Something with a mass effect field though."

"It feels …" Shepard squinted focusing on the feeling. So familiar. Her snapped to him. "It feels like that Mass Effect shard, the one I recovered from the relay."

Kaidan's eyes darted to her face, eyebrows raised. He concentrated on the floor for a second before nodding. "Yeah, it does."

"How would you …"

"James and I found it on the Normandy after the attack."

Kaidan's Omni-Tool beeped and the beams shut off. He touched the screen.

"Eezo," he said looking up.

"There's element zero in the floor?" Shepard shifted to look at his screen. "That's a large ass amount of eezo then. This stage is huge."

Kaidan took tentative steps away from the center. He frowned with a concentrated look and retreated back to the center.

"The stage's inner layer may be eezo," he said, "but there's something's here, in the center."

Kaidan flipped on his Omni-Tool's scanner again and sank to his knees. They had both stood in the stage's center when they hit the other. Shepard threw a spare heatclip spinning across the stage and walked to the edge. She flung a glowing hand out at it. The clip flashed and skid across the stage. She stopped it from dropping over the edge. Kaidan glanced up idly but turned back to his screen. When she got back to the center, she threw her hand out again. The clip flashed and exploded off the stage. It boomed against the far wall leaving a cracking dent and disappeared under the rows of chairs. Shepard looked down meeting Kaidan's wide eyes.

"See, could have been much worse. Good thing you have more mass than a pistol clip." Shepard said. "Seems to be the center of the stage that matters."

Kaidan's face glowed orange staring into the holoscreen on his Omni-Tool.  He stood. "Shepard, look."

She came up beside him.

"The shard," Shepard said.

Kaidan turned in a circle and gazed around the stage. "This is the weapon, Terra Firma's weapon. It's what those specs were for. They built it."

"The center amplifies mass effect fields," Shepard said. "They embedded it in the Summit's stage?"

"It's for the attack." Kaidan met her eyes and turned away. He strode to the stairs off the stage.

Shepard stared around them at the huge marble and quartz floor. The Summit's stage was Terra Firma's mass effect weapon.


	88. Chapter 88

**Chapter 19**

Shepard spun after Kaidan.  She slipped in front of him before he went down the stairs.

"It's for the attack?" Shepard said. "The Scorpion's attack the day of opening ceremonies?"

"Part of it. Has to be," he said stepping around her.

"Where are you going?"

He paused on the top stair. "The Council."

"Wait, wait." Shepard passed him, going down a few steps. She rounded to face him.

He folded his arms and sighed. "Why are you stopping me?"

"Listen. The only way to use this floor is by someone who's a biotic and inside the shield, right? Standing in the center."

Kaidan shrugged. "Yes."

"Then," Shepard came up a step, "from what you told me, Kaidan, this has to be for one thing. It's your Scorpion's coming out party. What better way than having your biotic powers magnified, kill and devastate everyone who ever stood up to you, and all on live vid in front of the entire galaxy? This is how we catch him."

Kaidan just stared at her.

"Narrow's our list, doesn't it? The Scropion's on the guest list for the opening ceremony. What biotics will be onstage?"

"Any asari."

"Humans?"

Kaidan gave a long sigh and frowned. "There are hundreds of awards."

"Probably less than a hundred biotics I'm betting, and we'll have a list," Shepard said. "Look a little happier. Your list of suspects just narrowed down from millions."

"All right." He watched her. "We have a list to key in on. After we take out the floor."

"Take out the flooring, it gives us away. He won't reveal himself." Shepard folded her arms mirroring Kaidan. "This is how we catch him."

"You can't be serious."

"Dead serious. Why not? Think about it."

"Shepard, I am thinking about it. Maybe you're not thinking about it." Kaidan took a step back from the stairs giving her a hard look. "With this floor, even a weak biotic could kill everyone in the room. Maybe bring down the entire building. The Councilors, the Alliance brass, the most decorated contributors to the war, delegates and alien leaders … We need to take out this flooring. We need the shard back for the relay."

"The relay can wait. We can remove the shard later." Shepard stepped onto the stage in front of him. "Removing the flooring only adverts this disaster, not the next. We have the upper hand here. How much time until they just plan something else. Next time, we might know nothing about it."

"It took them a year to come up with this one. It would buy us enough time for the relay's to be up and the alien leaders safely on their way home."

"Or push Terra Firma into a panic."

"If they're disorganized that works in our favor," Kaidan said.

"Maybe panicked and desperate, but with the Scorpion and those other leaders still in charge, it won't be disorganized. They have a lot already prepared, people recruited, targets identified, resources."

"Shepard," Kaidan stepped in closer. "This is like finding a bomb with the fuse burning. We can't just let it burn all the way down hoping to catch it in time."

"Kaidan, we didn't win the war by being conservative. This is our best chance to hit them between the eyes. Without the Scorpion, they'll be lost. We find their panel of leaders. The highest ups will have a representative at this private meeting for the sect leaders. Identify them, stop the wider attacks, trap the Scorpion onstage, their whole network goes down. A matter of days, and the terrorists you've been hunting for months? Gone."

"We don't know this is our best chance."

"We take out this flooring, mess with it, we lose the only real thing we do know - the day of opening ceremonies, the Scorpion will be here on stage, and will reveal himself."

"And if he uses his biotics before we stop him?"

"We'll stop him."

Kaidan exhaled sharply and shook his head. "We don't know that! We don't even know who we're stopping."

"The center of the stage is where the fields amplify. We rope it off. Someone crosses the ropes, we'll have caught him."

"Rope it off?" Kaidan stared at her. "You don't think that's going to give us away?"

Shepard focused on the center of the stage. Her eyes flicked to the statue in the back.

"If there's a reason for it to be roped off …" she murmured then turned to him with a firm voice. "We move the statue to the center, and rope it off. Shouldn't be too odd. And if someone tries to get to the center, I'll be there. I'll stop him."

"How?"

Shepard sank to her haunches and pressed a palm to the floor. A blue barrier spread across the surface of the marble and quartz slab. The barrier encircling it into the floor. "Go over there. Try your biotics. Bet it won't amplify. Not when there's a barrier covering it."

"That's hardly foolproof, Shepard. The timing …"

"I know. I'll have to be quicker than the time it taked the Scorpion to reach center stage. But trust me, it will work."

Kaidan gave a long drawn out sigh and shook his head. "Shepard, I trust you can do it, but we won't know anything until the Scorpion makes a move. We could be watching the wrong person. Maybe you're talking up front or distracted. There are too many variables to control, and it's at the cost of the Councilors and alien leaders. A huge risk."

Shepard regarded him silently, then finally said, "You'll be my backup."

"Shepard, I can't—"

"Yes, you can," Shepard said.

Kaidan's brow furrowed.  He concentrated on the stage at his feet. "I haven't practiced covering something this size with a barrier. To make it strong enough, impermeable? That would take time to learn. Three days won't cut it."

"You start the barrier, then I'd join. If I see it first, then join my barrier. We can do this. We're good at strengthening each other's biotics."

Kaidan touched his forehead and looked up at her. "I don't know, Shepard. The risk if something goes wrong … We need to tell the Council. They can decide."

"There could be moles there as easily as in the Alliance."

"So, you and I - renegade human Spectres - we just decide this for everyone?"

"I've made those decisions before."

Shepard eyes strayed to Oriana's statute. The black stone eye of the geth stared across the stage at her.

"Shepard, you really think this is the only way?"

"It's not the only way, but I think it's the best way."

Kaidan ran a hand down his jaw and paced. Finally, his hand dropped.  He turned to her with a deep breath.

"Okay. I trust you. I'll back you up on this."

Shepard nodded with a creeping smile and came over to him. "Let's practice then. I know you can do this."

 

* * *

 

It would take more practice, but he could do it. His barrier was weak, but by the end of practicing, it could stretch enough to encompass the floor. If the Scorpion sprang over the ropes, he'd get enough heat, attacking Kaidan's barrier shouldn't take priority.  Besides, once she joined the barrier, their barriers together would be more than enough.

There might be push back from the Summit Planning Committee on repositioning the statue, but she'd drive it through. It would probably look great center stage. If the committee thought she was just being partial to Oriana by centering it, all the better.

They walked out the Summit Hall's main door. Kaidan checked his Omni-Tool and turned down the hall.

"Kaidan, where you going? What about the Alliance reception?"

Kaidan turned. "Still a few hours off. I'm going to lie down. Hackett wanted to talk to me before the presentation anyway. I'll see you there."

"Okay," Shepard said.

She watched him disappear down the hall. He didn't look back. Not even once.


	89. Chapter 89

**Chapter 20**

"Forays into Council space have been extensive from the Terminus sector," the Alliance admiral said leaning forward heavily on the glass lectern and waving an arm at the galaxy map projected overhead. "Two salarian colonies have been utterly destroyed per the Council report. In light of this, the Council had gifted Orian Station near the border of Terminus space and near one of the key relays. Efforts to stabilize the sector, reestablish relay communication and travel will be an Alliance priority pending restoration of the Sol and Arcturus relays."

Shepard shifted in her chair and strained to see through the rows of heads. She'd seen Hackett enter earlier. If Kaidan really was sitting him it must be somewhere in the first few rows. An Alliance captain Shepard only vaguely knew sat next to her and leaned over in a whisper.

"Take years to set up near the Terminus system and get that relay back up," Captain Urris said. "Council should be handling this themselves, right? Or the salarians?"

"We have colonies out there," Shepard murmured. "I'm sure more than the salarians are getting the brunt from those slavers."

Captain Urris kept her voice low. "I'm sure, Commander. Just seems like we're trying to be Galaxy Marshall and Protector for the Council. No offense."

"None taken." Shepard shrugged.

"Are they going to use Spectres over that way?"

"Can't see why. Not enough of us to throw away on the Terminus System."

The presentation segued into terrorism suppression. Mention of the spike in mercenaries working for special interest groups made Shepard's eyes flash up to the map of the Terminus System. An idea started percolating. Maybe something worth mentioning. Admiral Wilson was around, she'd seen him come in. She supposed any ideas had to go through him now.

The overview seemed to go on forever. Speakers presented on inter-human nation relations, rebuilding efforts, the relay, the alien evacuation, and relief efforts. The Alliance did seem to have some lofty goals. If things worked out and the Council didn't rock the boat, the Alliance could end up being the power behind the throne. Flight Admiral Dumas grinned taking a seat in the front row after his blip on Council collaboration. The whole damn Admiral Board, or the ones she could see, seemed rather smug. The giant screen flickered overhead with forecasts and bullet points as hundreds of Alliance yes-sirs bobbed their heads to the presentation.

The presentation ended with the prerequisite reception of brown-nosing and elbow-rubbing. At least, this one had drinks. Glass patio doors opened onto a manicured lawn surrounding with a reflection pool rippling with a marble fountain in the center. Leafy hedges bordered white pebbled pathways shirting the lawn to the back where a long bar had been set up. Admiral Cicero turned to her as she approached. He lifted a drink off the glass bar, eying her with a quick up and down, and inclined his head.

"Commander," Cicero said.

The Alliance brass were out in numbers as to be expected. The lowest ranking officer here was … well, it was probably her. There was Admiral Wilson. Shepard made eye contact with down the bar and started forward. A woman moved aside but then stopped with a smile to shake Shepard's hand.

"Commander Shepard," she pushed black hair behind her ear.

The uniform marked her as a science officer. Maybe she wasn't the lowest rank here then. The woman seemed familiar.

"Alicia Mason," she said.

"Ah, right," Shepard said. "Good to see you again. Your brother's here too?"

"Commander." Admiral Wilson came up beside them. Apparently, the eye contact had been enough to beckon him.

"Admiral." Alicia saluted him then turned back to Shepard. "No, unfortunately, he's been busy lately."

"That so?" Shepard said.

Wilson squinted at Alicia maybe trying to place her. It made Shepard smirk when his eyes widened.

"Councilor Mason's daughter, am I right?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," she said.

He suddenly stood up straighter and turned to fully face her. "Lieutenant Mason's efforts in Tokyo and Prague have been extraordinary. That, and Councilor Mason's work on the Council. You have an extraordinary family, Officer."

Alicia's smile had a strained quality on her otherwise flat face.

"Admiral, you know she's receiving the Council's Caduceus Honor at the Summit's opening ceremony."

Wilson glanced at Shepard then looked back quickly at Alicia. "Of course, the whole family. Your contributions are as valuable. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise."

Alicia gave a grim nod and shook Shepard's hand. "See you there, Commander. Honored we'll share the stage."

As she retreated, Wilson frowned. "Too bad the lieutenant couldn't be here. He's been upset over that botched attack on the Blue Sons last week. We'll get them eventually though."

"Where's he tonight?" Shepard asked.

"Couldn't say. Should have been here. He's been busy with Council duties though. He's an important link between the Alliance and Council."

Shepard almost rolled her eyes but Wilson was watching her. If the admirals really cared about linking the Alliance and Council, it seemed like their human Spectres would have a little more value.

"Did you need to speak with me, Commander?" Wilson asked.

It broke Shepard out of her reverie. Her mind flashed back to the Terminus presentation.

"Actually, sir, I wanted to suggest something. The overview started with a focus on the Terminus System. Perhaps I could speak to the Admiral Board. I have a suggestion that could solve a few of their problems."

"Being?"

"Aria T'Loak."

"The mercenary queen?" Wilson's gave a pinched look and folded his arms.

"Let me talk to the parliament. Send her and her people to the Terminus System along with our ships. She's bored. Her mercenaries –"

"Those that aren't working for terrorists."

"Even those that are," Shepard said. "Give the mercenaries something to do and somewhere to go. They won't be working for the terrorists, and they'll be out of our hair."

"They'll be working for Terminus system pirates and slavers instead."

"Not if they work for us. It worked during the war. Omega's gone, but Aria still wants to be Despot of the Terminus system. Give her what she wants – a trip there, some independence, importance again- she'll help us stabilize the sector."

Wilson drummed his fingers on his elbows still folded tight across his chest. He sighed.

"I suppose, I could find a time for you to speak to Parliament about it. I doubt they'd consider working with a crime lord, but you're persuasive. It's not an impossible idea."

"Thank you," Shepard said.

Wilson regarded her for a moment and the small smile had a hint of warmth. "I think we'll be able to work together well enough, Commander. Continue to go through me and not reach over my head, and I'll make sure you're heard."

Shepard watched with a slight smile as he crossed the lawn leaving her by the bar. Perhaps she could work under him. They'd both had the air knocked out of them with the attack on the Normandy.

Admiral Cicero and some other officers swallowed her up in discussion. Shepard listened absently to a discourse on how to respond to the Rachni activity reported near Palavin. Her eyes couldn't help wandering around the garden over Admiral Cicero's shoulder. A galatic map marked with sectors and key talking points stood across the lawn near the building. Dim lights glowed in the black velvet board signifying different star systems and clusters. It ran the length of the outside wall. Officers milled along it pointing out highlighted sections, probably areas discussed in the presentation. Kaidan stood there silhouetted in the scattering of stars. Hackett clutched a drink standing at Kaidan's elbow and waving vaguely up at the map. Shepard took a long drink of her wine and pushed around Admiral Cicero with a flashed smile.

The reflecting pool's coy twisted in figure-eights along the marble rim as Shepard moved toward the sparkling map. A pair of officers sat on the fountain edge discussing turian politics and nodded at her with a smile as she passed. Shepard slowed nursing her drink and waited until Hackett broke away leaving Kaidan staring up at the map. The last sip of wine rolled around on her tongue as she slipped through the grass up behind him. He crossed his arms and turned abruptly. He collided into her.

"Whoa." Shepard grabbed his arms.

His eyes widened, and he stumbled back a step.

"Close one." Shepard held up her wineglass for him to see. "Good thing it's empty."

He glanced at it with a strained smile. As his eyes settled on her, the edges of his lips seemed to lose their tightness.

"Hey, Shepard," he said then waved at her empty glass. "You can spill on me. You're doing my laundry anyway."

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him.

"Think again, Alenko. It wasn't a standing offer."

Kaidan gave her a warm smirk and shrugged. "Guess it's good your glass was empty then."

"How you feeling?" Shepard asked.

"Ah," Kaidan said with a soft chuckle. "You mean, after you threw me across the room?"

"Only part way," Shepard corrected.

"And now, you renege on doing my laundry," Kaidan said. "My feelings are hurt, Shepard. But, uh … my head is fine. Thanks for asking."

"Good. To show how contrite I am, I promise not to throw you around again. At least, for tonight. And long as you're well behaved."

"Lot of dependent clauses in that promise, Shepard." Kaidan grinned. "You know, now I'm not seeing double of you, you're a lot less intimidating."

"Knew there was a reason to keep the clone."

"She could be at the Council meeting. You could be napping."

"That assumes one precludes the other. Some of my best naps have been in the back row of the Council Chamber."

"Shepard." Kaidan smiled. "That's classic comedy vid material. You're getting called on, and you won't know the question. Inevitable."

"If they call on me, I'll weave in a plug for restoring the krogan's relay. Joke's on them."

"A natural politician."

Shepard bumped his arm with her shoulder. "Hey, now my feelings are hurt. Remember those dependent clauses, my friend."

Kaidan grinned goofily and pointed a finger at her. "Next time you're getting one of your best naps in, I hope Admiral Dumas sits down right next to you," then he added, "my friend."

Shepard smiled into his face. She looked back over her shoulder at the bar. "What do you want to drink?"

"Now?" Kaidan checked the time. "Probably water. Already had a couple."

"Responsible."

Kaidan shrugged. "I like remembering my conversations with you."

Shepard's eyes strayed to Admiral Hackett standing with a group of Alliance brass in the presentation hall. Flight Admiral Dumas stood in the group watching her with a sharp intensity. Hackett and Wilson followed his cold stare. She gave them a tight smile, inclined her head, and turned to face Kaidan putting her back to them. Kaidan eyes were fixed over her shoulder though. A mirthless smile pulled up on his lips, and he tilted his head at them.

"Think we'll make the morning's Alliance gossip rags?" Shepard whispered.

Kaidan nodded again with the same fixed smile at someone behind her before his eyes dropped to hers. "Maybe front cover."

"Front cover? Well, then. We could make it really juicy. I touch your elbow for a lingering five seconds, let the toe of one boot graze yours. The scandal."

"Actually," Kaidan's eyes shifted over her shoulder again, "they might like that. Might be best to just talk later."

"Eh," Shepard shrugged. "Hackett already kissed both cheeks and crossed me. Said I could investigate the Summit terrorists with you."

"Didn't sprinkle you with holy water, though. I doubt he wants us drinking and talking about anything other than terrorist." Kaidan held her eyes for a moment and flashed a full smile before taking a step back.

"Kaidan," Shepard said and stepped after him.

"It's past midnight.," he said. "Besides, something woke me up at three o'clock. I didn't have a council meeting to get caught up napping."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll give you that one, but look, don't run off. We can talk terrorists. I love talking terrorists. And I'm done drinking." Shepard turned her glass upside down. "Gone. See?"

"I need to go." He smiled at her and walked backward. "We need to figure out a plan for the terrorists' meeting. We'll talk again."

Shepard sighed. "Fine."

She watched him turn down the white graveled path and walked through the patio doors. He saluted Hackett and the other brass as he passed. The black velvet map sparkled beside her against the wall. She turned and looked up where Kaidan and Hackett had been pointing. The Terminus System.


	90. Chapter 90

**Chapter 21**

"Say, Shepard, Tali and I want you over. Everyone's in town. Why not have everyone over?" said Garrus's image on the desk's terminal.

"Turien Day of Comradery," Tali added ducking her head briefly in beside Garrus's on the screen.

"What?" Shepard said leaning back in her chair at the desk.

"Turien holiday," Garrus explained. "Militant like they all are, of course, but this one's fitting."

"Yeah?" Shepard tapped her fingers on the arm of the chair and checked the time. Meetings, meetings, meetings. "Okay, so tell me, what does ones do on the Day of Comradery?"

Garrus shrugged. "What does any species do on a holiday, Shepard? Drink, eat, talk, drink."

"That's it? Just a party?"

"There's more to it than that, of course, but I'm expecting you to add to your facial tattoo or sing the Palavian Battlesong."

Shepard smirked. "I've seen you drunk enough. I might know it."

"You can lead us off then. Might be the most entertaining part of the night, depending on if you go dancing."

"Oh, ha ha, Garrus. You're the only one obsessed with my dance moves."

"The rest are too polite to say, but Shepard, you and me, we say it straight."

"So, speaking straight, nothing else I need to know? Just a party?"

"Well, not just a party per se. Someone's usually nominated for a speech at the end."

"Hey!"

Garrus rolled his eyes. "You're just assuming it's you."

"I'm going to be campaigning all night that it's you," Shepard said.

Garrus grinned. "I've given my fair share. I could recycle one from a few years back. I got a few head bobs from my father's friends in the Hierarchy."

"Depending on how much you serve,I'm betting you can get more than head bobs from our group. Maybe a hoot or a holler."

"Oh, I'm hoping," Garrus said. "You're supposed to end the speech with gunfire in the air."

"I'm liking this holiday."

"It's a loud day on Palaven. Or used to be." Shepard eyed Garrus, but he pressed on. "So come armed, Shepard, if I didn't already need to tell you that."

"You have kids at these parties?"

"Every Palavian home has an arsenal. You're shooting your rifle before the age of eight. Children younger than that, well, they don't usually get anything to fire."

"Usually?"

"Toys," Garrus said. "Also, for the speech, there's something you should know."

Shepard tipped her head back to the ceiling. "Garrus. Do you know how many speeches I've already given?"

"Then it should easy, Shepard. Now you need to know, each speech ends with saying 'Die for the Cause.' Cue gun fire."

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "If they don't like the speech, that gun fire …"

"Oh, it's rarely not up in the air."

"Better make sure I'm on good terms with everyone at this party then."

"Already given up campaigning for someone else to give the speech?"

"That's plan A. Sometimes plan A's don't work out."

"So true, Shepard," Garrus said. "And wear blue. Or … hmm, maybe red would be better."

Shepard leaned forward on the desk. "Garrus, I know you're worried about my fashion sense but show some trust here."

"It's the holiday, Shepard. It's traditional to wear blue."

"Why red, then?"

"Blue for turien blood spilt. It's a holiday commemorating the sacrifice one for another in war, sacrifice one for the all, that sort of thing. Right up your alley."

"And yours."

"And all of ours. Thus, the party."

Shepard grinned. "Sounds like a good reason to get together. I'll come, and I'll wear blue."

"Human blood is red."

"But this is a turien hoiday." Shepard held up a finger.

"Then, good. Tali …" Garrus turned as a shadow passed the screen. "Shepard's coming. She'll give the speech. No worries."

"Good, good." Tali's masked face leaned into the screen again. "Just long as I'm out of the running."

"Hey!" Shepard said. "Maybe I'll campaign for you instead of Garrus."

"Now, don't split the votes," Garrus said. "You're a better politician than that."

"I am not a—this exchange is going downhill."

Garrus whistled. "A dig at your dancing and I set you up for the night's speech, but it's calling you a politician that riles you. Interesting. I think I just found a button."

Shepard gave him a tired look but smiled. She pushed back in her chair and stood over the terminal.

"Okay. I'll see you in a few nights."

"I'll send out the messages. Think they'll all come?"

"Advertising my dancing …"

"And you'll sing the Battlesong?"

"Whatever it takes to sell, Garrus. Sell it too good though, you'd better have enough space."

"Oh, we do. Enough for everyone and their date too. Bring someone, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Things fell through with the vorcha, sad to say."

"Seriously though, Shepard. Think about it."

Tali nodded into the screen. Being in love must make them think everyone else should be too. Shepard smirked and rested her hand on the off button.

"Got some meetings to attend. See you later."

"Vakarian out," Tali said.

Garrus's head turned to her. "Stop stealing my closer." He looked back into the screen. "vas Normandy out."

"See. I'm fine with that," Tali said.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Garrus, don't make me use 'cute' on you. Talk to you both later."

She pushed the button and their faces blinked out. She checked the time again and hustled out of her barracks.


	91. Chapter 91

**Chapter 22**

Kaidan stretched his back and turned off the audio from the bugs. He paced around the small space. The Spectre offices had more or less segregated into sections used by different Spectre races. No one came in this area but him. He ran his hands over the pistols lining the workbenches against the wall. His fingers lingered on the TN470. He glanced at the hallway door. The shooting range was just down the hall. He backed up, though, rolling his neck and strolled to the desk.

He flicked off the terminal's screen. The image of the terminus system blipped away.Heaviness settled in Kaidan's chest as he heard Hackett's words again. The Terminus System – it would take years. He wiped it from his mind. There were other things to focus on before he dwelled on that.

He turned off the room's lights and strode through the Spectre offices eying the exit at the end of the hall. He passed a room of computer terminals on his left. Something caught his eye, and he backed up.

"Spectre Taccus," Kaidan said.

Taccus hunched over Ursul's shoulder one hand on the back of her chair and the other bracing himself forward on the desk. His eyes shifted sideways to Kaidan, and he straightened.

"Ursul," Kaidan said taking a few steps into the office. "How are you feeling?"

She gave a long sigh and kept her eyes fixed on the terminal.

"What do you want, Alenko?" she said. "Trolling for a thanks in saving my life?"

"No," Kaidan said. "Didn't know you got back. Just glad to see you're all right."

Taccus folded his arms and faced Kaidan.

"You're working on something for the Summit I hear," Taccus said.

"Terra Firma's planning an attack," Kaidan said.

"I heard the rumors."

"They're more than rumors."

Ursul finally turned her head to size Kaidan up. "You know anything about the missing warheads lifted off the Shields?"

"Do you?" Kaidan asked.

Ursul snorted and looked up at Taccus with a frown. "Won't tell us, will he? Spectres collaborate, Alenko."

"I'm happy to collaborate." Kaidan came all the way to Ursul's desk. "Do you know anything useful?"

"Terra Firma has them, of course," Taccus said. "We have reason to believe they're being transported into the city. Two good sized explosives and the nuclear warhead the Alliance last track of."

The hours of audio flooded over Kaidan. He stared at Taccus. "You're sure? Into the city?"

"Don't even bother," Ursul muttered to Taccus under her breath and turned back to the computer terminal. "Information's all one way with Alenko."

"It could be part of the attack on the Summit," Kaidan said. "I've been listening in on Terra Firma. They have a meeting planned here in Vancouver. It sounds like they're bringing in a shipment or a package of some sort, something to distribute with the marching orders."

Taccus and Ursil shared a look then focused on Kaidan.

"Shepard and I could use your help," Kaidan said. "If those warheads are coming into the city for an attack, this is bigger than Shepard and I can handle alone. I have a time and place. We need to get those warheads back without tipping them off. We have a chance to catch their highest leaders, including the Scorpion."

"What time and place?" Ursul asked. "You heard Octivus Meilleu is vying for primach? We're practically in a political civil war between Palaven and the delegates here. Octivus is ramroding himself into the Summit hearings against Primach Gustovus's wishes. On top of that, the damned Sheilds are threatening Sparatus's life."

"We had reason to believe," Taccus said, "the Shields are trying to recover the warheads from Terra Firma. Might already have them. They're targeting Sparatus, taking out Meilleu's naysayers. Meilleu has Shield ties."

"If the delivery is the warheads, then Terra Firma still has them. At least, according to the audio I heard today," Kaidan said.

"The Shields are working to get them back right now. Have some reports outside Toronto, if they're reliable. The warheads are headed in but under some fire," Taccus said.

Taccus and Ursul leaned together over the computer screen. Kaidan leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the report. Ursul's slit-lidded glance froze Kaidan in place. He took a step back instead.

"You're busy with the Shields and Meilleu then?" Kaidan said.

"I know your human politics eclipse all else," Ursul snapped, "but other races have their own problems. Spectres aren't to focus only on human issues, Alenko."

"All right." Kaidan backed up.

Taccus gave him a gentle nod but turned back to the computer. "Another time, Alenko."

"Glad you're back on your feet, Ursul," Kaidan said

He turned down the hallway and strode to the exit at the end. His mind swirled. If the warheads were coming into Vancouver, all that audio made more sense now. It wasn't weapons, armor, or manpower being transported to the meeting to be bring about the "First Day." If Terra Firma was going to destroy the center of intergalactic politics, the symbol of rebuilding and cooperation, manpower and machine guns wouldn't be enough. The Scorpion may plan to kill the Council, delegates, ambassadors, and alien leaders at the Summit on live vid, but a nuclear warhead would kill everyone.

 

* * *

 

The Council chamber bulged with spectators and dignitaries. Alliance uniforms, alien representatives, and media personnel lined the wall and even down the aisles of filled seats. Kaidan skirted the people along the wall until he found a standing space between two asari. Down below, a salarian faced the Council from a lectern on the side of the stage.

"An agreement of that sort is unreasonable," the salarian spat into his mic.

An asari stood at an opposite lectern. "If I could just talk."

"The dalatrass will never support this decision," the salarian said.

Tevos stood up from the councilors' table. "A decision has not been reached. This is only an introductory discussion."

"The decision will be made at the Summit." Sparatus sighed and leaning back in his chair.

"No one's willing to make a decision," the asari said.

"I have _my_ decision," Ilk said. "This can't be considered a warcrime. The genophage saved an entire alien race that otherwise would have been wiped from the galaxy. This sort of action and it's like in the future has its place."

"It's not the natural course of things," the asari countered.

"War isn't natural," the salarian at the lectern raged. "It's not about what is natural but what is best. It was more humane than war. Going forward, such actions are be preferable to the barbaric alternatives."

"Sterilizing an entire race isn't barbaric?" the asari said.

"Enough." Councilor Mason stood up. "This has gone back and forth enough. We'll open the floor to comment. Commander Shepard …" He motioned to the front row.

Kaidan strained to see down the row of heads as Shepard walked to the bannister.

"What's your take on this?" Councilor Mason said.

Shepard tapped her fingers on the bannister for a moment then pushed around the gate onto the floor. The salarian and asari's heads swiveled following her as she came to the center and faced the crowd. Whispered conversations died through the crowd, media cameras buzzed higher in the air, and microphones jostled against each other at the front.

"Commander …" Mason waved a hand out at the audience and sank into his seat.

"War may or may not be natural, but conflict is," Shepard said. "We need to have ethical standards, because it's inevitable. When a war ends, the fighting stops, and we're all rebuild, you don't continue bombing and invading. The genophage was part of a war but when the war resolved, it remained."

"Resolved because of the genophage," the salarian said.

"Sure, because of the genophage," Shepard said, "but every war ends because of something – too many colonies lost, soldiers lost, leaders lost. Then there's a surrender. There are consequences – lives lost, resources and equipment, pride—but time moves on and the loser picks himself back up."

"I can see where this is going," the salarian hissed.

"Representative," Tevos warned, "you already had the floor."

Shepard continued. "You can't pick yourself up from a genetic disease carried through generations, a permanent mar on an entire race. It's not like broken bridges, lost ships, and replacing heads of state. It's like continuing to bomb, kill, and destroy the side that long since surrendered."

The salarian squirmed and darted a look at Tevos. Shepard nodded for him to speak.

"Commander Shepard, an enemy is free to research cures for a bioweapon. The losing army rebuilds its own cities. The winning army doesn't come in and rebuild the structures they had to bomb to get the surrender."

"Fair point," Shepard said, "if that's all that happened. If a soldier's shot and then surrenders, perhaps there are consequences – he's crippled. After the war though, if he starts to walk again, should we fear he'll fight against us again and shoot him a second time – keep him crippled? That's not a crime?"

The salarian's bulbous eyes rolled over the crowd and his mouth twitched.

"That's what happened, isn't it?" Shepard asked. "Research on the genophage continued to prevent adaptation."

The crowd murmured. Wide-eyed looks passed between the councilors, and the salarian crept off the podium. Heated voices turned into a general roar. Reporters shoved against the bannister yelling out questions. Shepard folded her arms and watched the crowd placidly. Councilor Mason shot to his feet.

"Order, order," he said. "This topic will be tabled until the Summit."

Questions spilled over each other from the reporters. The Councilors stood and didn't even push in their chairs before scurrying to the stage's back door. Camera lights flashed off their retreating backs, and Mason shot a frown over his shoulder at Shepard before disappearing through the door. Shepard wasn't paying attention as the asari left the lectern and crossed the stage to Shepard.

Kaidan twisted through the crowd. They surged against the edge of the stage's bannister. Shepard and the asari turned their backs to the crowd and talked quietly. Kaidan hopped over the floor's railing. A C-Sec officer in the corner swung around with a bark then stopped abrupt. He looked over Kaidan with a nod and turned a cold look to the railing behind him. A reporter halfway over the bannister looked back and forth between Kaidan and the C-Sec officer before pulling his leg back over the railing with a timid smile. Kaidan trotted up the stage's steps and crossed to Shepard. The asari stopped talking as he came up behind them. Shepard glanced to the side. Her eyes widened on him.

"Kaidan."

"Hey, Shepard."

The asari gave Kaidan a smile. "The other human Spectre."

"Kaidan Alenko." Kaidan put his hand out.

The asari shook it. "Representative Irralle." She looked back to Shepard. "Your support means a lot, but we can discuss it later."

Irralle inclined her head to Kaidan and moved down the stage. She retreated into the seething crowd of questions and waving mics. A flash of camera light blinded Kaidan, and he held up a hand to block another flash.

"This way." Shepard leaned into him and nodded at the stage's back door.

Mason stood inside the back room with hands on his hips. He watched the stage door as if he'd been waiting for someone. His eyebrows rose on seeing Kaidan, but the look he turned to Shepard grew dark.

"Shepard."

Tevos and Sparatus's conversation hushed in the corner. Ilk seemed to have already left.

"I know," Shepard said putting her hands up.

"No, you don't," Mason snapped. "That information wasn't public. It hasn't been declassified by the salarian and turien governments."

"The krogan already know. It's common knowledge on Tuchanka after what happened with the cure. Who else are you hiding it from?"

Sparatus snorted. "Shepard, you're turning the Summit into a circus. These issues are causing outrage."

"The Summit's only going to last a few days, not a year. If we don't talk about the hard things now, what's the point?"

Tevos glided over to them. "Shepard could be right. We need to address these problems before they're out of our control."

"She should consult with us first," Sparatus said.

"Agreed." Mason frowned.

Tevos turned to her. "Shepard?"

"You want a sidebar each time I add a new point?"

"Do it before you start saying anything," Sparatus said.

"It's not like what I'm going to say is written down on cue cards, Councilor."

"Please, everyone." Mason held up his hand, "Let's remain calm."

"She does this every time!" Sparatus said. "Why did you call on her, Mason? She wasn't motioning to speak."

"I thought …" Mason trailed off.

Shepard stepped back from the Councilors and raised her hands. "There are other things I can be doing. I'm not a diplomat or a politician. Sitting in meetings is not my first choice."

Sparatus snorted and waved at her. "You spent half the meeting on your datapad anyway."

"There's more going on than Council meetings." Shepard's voice raised. "What do you think I'm doing? Crosswords? You're aware there's a terrorist group wanting all your heads on spikes?"

Sparatus's nostrils flared. "How dare you."

"Don't bully us, Shepard." Mason jammed a finger at her.

Everyone looked ready to come to blows. Sparatus practically quivered. Mason's jaw flexed. Shepard's hands balled into fists with whitening knuckles. Only Tevos seemed the least bit cool, but even her eyes had a fiery gleam. Kaidan stepped forward.

"Councilors, attacks are planned elsewhere in the city. They may involve explosives, maybe even nuclear. What kind of manpower can the Council give us?"

"What? When?" Tevos's eyes widened on him.

Sparatus stared at Kaidan as if seeing him there for the first time.

"During the Summit. We need the manpower now."

"Impossible." Mason shook his head. "The Summit's in a few days. What's this about?"

"There are leads, we need to pursue."

"What leads?" Mason pressed. "Spectre, you haven't kept us informed on this. The Council doesn't usually press its Spectres over details, but your silence, Alenko, has been noticed."

Tevos glanced at Mason with a frown. "Spectres have autonomy. We do not oversee investigations. I personally see nothing wrong here."

"What have you found?" Sparatus demanded.

Shepard glanced at Kaidan before crossing her arms.

"Well?" Mason pressed.

"Information's being leaked," Kaidan said.

"It's just the Council here and you two Spectres," Sparatus said. "Unless you don't trust us or each other."

"We need manpower," Kaidan said. "I'm sorry, but it's in your interest that we keep the information close."

Sparatus spun away and marched to a far door. Tevos gave them a pressed smile and followed.

"You'll need to rely on your Alliance resources," Mason said. "We don't give Spectres manpower."

"Maybe you should," Kaidan said.

"You two," Mason looked between them. "There's a reason you're both still Alliance. Use their resources. The Council has no more to say. If you have something to actually tell us, then let me know. Until then, you'd do well to take a permanent recess today, Shepard. Tomorrow too."

He strode after the other Councilors and into a hallway of offices. The door closed behind him, and Shepard's face hardened. She twisted to Kaidan.

"Nuclear warhead?" she asked.

"Three warheads. One nuclear. Intel from Taccus. I think they're planning to offload it at their meeting."

"Damnit," she muttered. "We need more help then, but it never changes - no help from the Council. Why does it even surprise me?"

She motioned for him to follow and moved to a door in the corner. Kaidan trailed her.

"Want to hijack a ship? Made you feel better before."

Shepard glanced back at him. "That would make me feel better."

"Which docking bay has the Normandy?"

Shepard's grin showed teeth. "Anderson's not here to punch anyone out for us."

"Thought I was missing a step. But this might not be a conversation for the Councilor's offices."

"Uh, good point. And that's why you're first on my list anytime I hijack the Normandy."

"Honored." Kaidan pushed the button and opened the door. "Joker's number two, right? Otherwise, it'll be a short chase."

"Another good point, Major. Keep them coming, and let's go."

They turned out into the Council Wing's hallway.

"Where to, Commander?"

Shepard poked at the datapad dangling in his hand. "Something you're meaning to show me?"

He'd forgotten he carried it. He passed it to her. "Have time to talk?"

"Permanent recess," Shepard reminded him taking the datapad. "Kind of like giving a cookie to the kid disrupting class. I looked properly chastened though, didn't I?"

"Rarely seen you so chastened."

"Not overdone though?"

"Came across very natural."

"I kept the tears and lip quivering in reserve."

"Don't tip your whole hand, Shepard."

Shepard grinned as they continued down the hall. Warmth spread in his chest seeing it out of the corner of his eye. He was pretty sure his face had that exact same grin.


	92. Chapter 92

**Chapter 23**

Admiral Hackett paced. His face contorted in thought. The room had a similar layout to Shepard's room. Hackett's room was one hall over from Shepard's just as she's said all those months ago. That felt like forever ago now. Shepard perched on the couch across the coffee table from Kaidan.

Hackett turned to them. "The warheads, you're sure? And the Scorpion at the opening ceremony? That would make him a celebrated war hero or an official."

"We don't know anything for sure, yet," Kaidan said.

"Why would someone like that work with Terra Firma? What's the motive?"

"What's anyone's motive in working with terrorists?" Kaidan said then stiffened. His head snapped to Shepard. "I mean …"

"It's fine." Shepard waved him off. "The Major is right though, we don't need to sort out a motive now."

"And why so many attacks?" Hackett said. "Why attack from the stage then use a nuclear weapon that destroys the entire city? Seems redundant."

Shepard shrugged. "Perhaps the Scorpion attacks first, leaves on the Normandy in a blaze of glory, the entire galaxy in awe. Then the warheads go off to clean up the leftovers and drive the point home."

"That stage - the eezo, the shard." Hackett shook his head pacing in front of the window. "This mass effect weapon is troubling, Commander. Major Alenko is right - we should move the ceremony. At least limit the guest list, keep the biotics to a minimum."

"Very well." Shepard leaned back on the couch. "We do that, then what?"

"We watch the biotics on that list. We'll catch him eventually."

"How will we eventually catch him?"

"He'll meet with people we've tagged. We'll intercept communication. Proof will come."

"The Scorpion's obviously good at what he does," Shepard said. "The next attack could be sooner than the time needed to catch him. It's already taken us a year to narrow down to a list of a hundred.

"Narrowing the suspects is the hardest part," Kaidan said.

"You're so certain?" Shepard asked. "Certain enough to face the consequences if you're wrong?"

"What do we risk is you're wrong?" Kaidan asked lightly. "What happens if we can't stop the biotic attack on that floor?

Hackett stopped pacing. "Can we replace the flooring quietly?"

"The Scorpion would know," Shepard said.

"How?"

"A biotic could tell," Kaidan agreed.

Shepard leaned forward and folded hands on her knees. She looked at Kaidan. "If I'm wrong, I know it would be devastating, Kaid—uh, Major." Shepard glanced sharply at Hackett. Hackett crossed his arms with hard eyes. She licked her lips and turned back to Kaidan. "But, Major, that risk of doing nothing has just as devastating an outcome, and the chances of us stopping it are less. This will work."

"You just had your implant replaced," Kaidan said. "How can you be so sure your biotics—"

"I know my biotics," Shepard said.

Kaidan didn't say anymore and sat back further on the couch. Admiral Hackett looked between them with arms still crossed tightly on his chest.

Kaidan touched his temple and said lightly, "We don't know who we're watching for."

"I'll keep my eyes open."

Hackett pivoted to Shepard. "Commander, this is a risky gamble."

"I can do it."

"And should something happen to you?"

Shepard nodded toward Kaidan. "I have Kaidan." Admiral Hackett gave her with a thin-lipped frown. "Major Alenko," Shepard corrected with a sigh.

"I'll back her up," Kaidan said.

Hackett's black stare broke away from Shepard and flicked to Kaidan. "I hope you both know what you're doing."

"If Commander Shepard says she can do it, I know she can," Kaidan said finally.

Hackett studied him with a pinched brow then finally sighing.

"Well, you're both Spectres. It's at your discretion," Hackett said. "I'm sorry I can't support you better. Without anything formal, I can't put men at your disposal."

"None?" Kaidan asked.

"No. I'm sorry."

Shepard's shoulder's drooped and her eyes dropped to the floor.

"Okay," she sighed and stood. She started to the door.

"I want to help," Hackett said. "If I put soldiers under you or Alenko's command, the whole Alliance would know. They'd know when, where, and everything you don't want them to know about this sting."

"This is bull crap," Shepard said spinning around. "The Council, the Alliance - it affects all of you. No one helps us. Geth, Collectors, Reapers, now Terra Firma - there's no end!"

Kaidan rose. "Hey."

"What?" she snapped. Her eyes shifted to him.

"We're not out of options."

She eyed him with a hard glint as he came over. He stopped in front of her with a slanted smile. They held each other's eyes, and the corners of her lips loosened. She sighed finally and turned back to Hackett.

"Admiral, I know you're trying. I appreciate it."

Hackett watched them with a slight curve to his lips. They turned, and it dropped. The smile had been so brief, Kaidan wasn't sure he hadn't imagined it. Hackett cleared his throat and gave a slow nod.

"Yes, I'm sorry I can't help, Commander, Major."

Shepard darted out the front door. Hackett straightened and gave Kaidan a hardened return nod. Kaidan dipped his head with a tight smile then followed Shepard into the hall.

 

* * *

 

Kaidan leaned back against the desk with folded arms and watched Shepard survey the Spectre office. She ran her hand over the firearms on the wall and strolled over to a map of Vancouver. Likely targets were marked – transport, energy, military. A galaxy map spanned the wall next to it. She used the toe of her boot to tip open the metal lid on a chest of grenades. Kaidan leaned to the side as she reached past him to check the desk's terminal.

"Same accesses as I have in my room," she murmured and wandered to a workbench in the corner. "TN470?"

She hefted it. She grinned holding it out and looked down the barrel.

"You know the Spectre offices are for you too?" Kaidan said.

"I know." She set the pistol back on the workbench. "This is all your stuff?"

"Not all of it. Some of it."

"Hmm." She rested against the corner of the workbench. "We're the only ones that come in here?"

Kaidan hesitated. "This room? I suppose. It's more or less for the human Spectres."

"When did they build this?"

"It's been a few months. Converted it after the comm division moved to the new Business Services Building. You've never been in here?"

Shepard shrugged.

"I'm surprised," Kaidan said. "I mean, I'm not going to be here. It's more your space than mine."

"You're here," Shepard said picking up the TN470 again.

"For a few more days. After that though …" Kaidan's eyes drifted to the galaxy map on the wall. The Terminus System. He swallowed dryly and shoved off from the desk. "Move in whatever you want. It's yours."

Shepard pulled out the TN470's thermal clip. "Hopefully, I won't be stuck at HQ all the time. Plus, you'll be back from wherever they send you. I won't throw your stuff in the hall to make room for my fish tank. Though …" She popped the clip back in. "I think it would add a lot of character."

"Right." Kaidan gave a limp smile. "Go ahead though. I'm partial to fish."

Shepard smirked. "If this leads into a quip about eating fish, remember, I'm holding a TN470."

"No, I like watching them. Remind me of you."

Shepard's eyes flitted up to him. She weighed the pistol in her hands. "You going to Garrus's party?"

"Seems like the wrong time to be partying."

"Perhaps," Shepard considered. "Already told him I'd go. It's some turien holiday."

"Yeah, I got the message. Saw your friend, Jack, earlier today with her biotic students. Here for the Summit. Lot of the old group in town."

Shepard nodded. "Jacob messaged me. Wanted to meet up. I'll see them at Garrus's party though. We do need to get prepared for crashing Terra Firma's meeting, but we'll be ready. A few hours won't matter. It might clear you're head a little, come back at it hard and fresh."

"Tomorrow night?" Kaidan asked.

"Hanging out with the old gang again."

Kaidan considered it for a moment then shrugged. "All right."

"Good." Shepard thumped the gun back down on the workbench. "Okay. What are our options? We're down to 48 hours give or take."

"What's always worked for you before, Shepard?" She just eyed him, so he answered. "Your crew."

"I don't have a crew."

"Yes, you do," Kaidan said. "The old gang."

"They're not my crew anymore, Kaidan."

"We may not serve on the same starship anymore, but everyone's on your team. We're all going different directions - but for now, right here - everyone's together. I bet you only need to ask."

Shepard regarded him quietly.

"Maybe," she said finally. "If Terra Firma has explosives, you're right, we need manpower. And if there's a backroom meeting with the upper crust's representative, we need to know what they're planning. I'll think about it."

"We'll see everyone tomorrow night, right? Keep thinking on it."

"I will," Shepard said. She motioned to the Vancouver map on the wall. "I see you marked some hotspots. Give me the rundown, Major."

Kaidan turned to the map and couldn't help smiling. Talking tactics and intel with Shepard, he had to admit, it felt good. Felt right.


	93. Chapter 93

**Chapter 24**

"Garrus, Tali, I can't believe you live here," Shepard said stumbling around the white leather couches. Her reflection gawked back at her in the windows. It superimposed a manicured lawn moving with people.

"Perks of being the quarian ambassador," Tali said.

Garrus leaned in. "Perks of sleeping with the quarian ambassador."

"Sounded a little practiced, Garrus," Shepard said.

"He came up with it last week at the Delegates' Banquet," Tali sighed.

"And she still sets it up for me. True love, Shepard."

"Speak for yourself, Vakarian. We're only friends with benefits."

"A lot of benefits." Garrus grinned.

Tali lifted the wine bottle out of Shepard's hand and head across the room to the open kitchen.

"Look at that walk," Garrus said appraisingly. The added swing to Tali's hips indicated she'd heard him.

"My tour's taken a weird turn."

"Tour, right." Garrus cleared his throat and shook his head. He indicated a few more features. The tall ceiling and huge steel chandelier made Shepard crane her neck. "Great place, Shepard. Well, except for being so far off the skycar pickup points."

"Can't have everything." Shepard grinned. "Though, this is close."

Jumbled conversation mixed with laughter and the pulsing base of a speakers spread around the lawn. It washed over her as Garrus guided her through a tall glass slider and onto the brickwork patio.

"Shepard, nice blue." Jacob came up behind her out of the house. He took her offered hand but pulled her in a quick hug instead. He pulled back and turned to the woman at his shoulder. "You remember Brynn?"

"Of course." Shepard offered her hand with a nod. "How's parenthood?"

Garrus grinned. "See the blood shot eyes and wide smile, Shepard? All you need to know."

Jacob laughed. "Not far from truth. Hey, Shepard, when are you coming to Rio? You keep saying you will."

"Shep!" Jack looped up the patio's stairs from the lawn. "Damn you, Garrus. Where the hell's Shep's drink? Hold out."

"She wanted to see the house first."

"I did say that," Shepard said. "Jack! It's been forever."

Jack cursed and took a step back. "I see that look. Don't even think about hugging me. Shot people in the head for less."

Shepard's smile broadened. "Look, Garrus, a verbal warning first. Aw, Jack, you do care."

Jack rolled her eyes. "Ha. Hell yeah, my warning shots aren't flesh wounds."

"Damn," Jacob laughed. "Just like the good ole days, right? Where's Miranda?"

"Miss Milkway?" Jack said. "She and her fine ass can go to hell for all I care. Bitch better not tangle with me tonight."

Jacob chuckled. "Bet she's looking forward to seeing you too."

People clustered in the lawn around something. Sunset lengthened their shadows to the primrose hedge bordering a low stone wall.. A cool breeze moist with fresh pine and mown grass stirred Shepard's hair as she watched the crowd on the grass.

"What're they doing?" Shepard asked.

"Tag along. I'll show you," Garrus said and lead her down the red bricked stairs and into the cool grass.

Cortez, Traynor, and Adams stood next to the cheering huddle but a few steps off. They raised a trio of glasses to her as she passed.

"Commander," Javik said with a sharp nod passing to the patio.

"Uh, nice blue jacket there, Javik," Shepard said.

"A ridiculous primitive holiday. In my cycle, blue represented childhood and naivete. I believe it still does."

"Oh?" Shepard smiled. "Always a pleasure, Javik."

He continued to the steps. Garrus pointed a lawn game in the center of the crowd. Shepard tiptoed to see over the heads. James whooped and gave Grunt a rough pat on the back. Liara watched with crossed arms and a blank face. A few people stood back watching James throw another hoop. Shepard didn't recognize them.

"Traditional turien game for this holidy - Brackien," Garrus said.

"Looks like a ring toss, Garrus," Shepard said. "In my cycle, winning sent you home with a gold fish or a giant stuffed panda."

"Here you get a bottle of turien finest - Vanicel Wine."

"Uh huh. Rather win a fish. What other turien traditions do we have?"

"The blue as you see …" Garrus turned expansively. "Well, except for Cortez. Said he 'forgot.'"

Cortez's head turned. "I did. I swear. Had the perfect outfit too."

"I believe you," Garrus said, "but you do know at the end of the night, the party guests not wearing blue get dish duty."

"I think you mean, does the speech," Shepard said.

"You're not getting out of it, Shepard." Garrus motioned back to the house. "To the bar. The real place you wanted to see anyway, am I right?"

"Anyone else, Garrus, and I'd feel a little judged by that statement."

"But it is me, Shepard, so don't sweat it. That is what humans do, right? Literally sweat it?"

Shepard's heels clicked across the patio and drew Jack's attention. Her eyes focused on something beyond Shepard through the open patio door. A sneer curled her lips. Miranda had arrived. She and Tali talked by the couches as Garrus lead Shepard across the room. The stark white paint made the chandelier light feel bright.

"If we were on Palaven," Garrus said, "we'd have a spread of dextran delicacies – green fowl and turbid root. Tali's never had turbid root."

"Me neither," Shepard said.

"Next party, bring your Epipen. You'll love it."

"A party on Rannoch?"

"Maybe."

They turned the corner to a gray granite countertop dividing the living space and stainless steel kitchen. Stemmed glasses, tumblers, and an assortment of liquor and wine crowded the counter. Shepard ran her eyes over the labels with a smile. There were drinks for krogan, turien, human, and everything in between.

"Don't know if I'm more impressed by the house or your collection here, Garrus."

"Guests have been adding to the collection."

Tali appeared beside Shepard and grabbed a wine bottle to fill her glass.

"Shepard!" boomed a voice coming across the living room.

Shepard looked up. "Grunt!"

Grunt lumbered to her with teeth glinting in his smile. Shepard braced for the head butt. She wasn't disappointed. She grabbed the counter with locked knees and steadied herself as he laughed stepping back. An asari slinked up next to him. She gave a weak smile and looked quickly over at Grunt.

"Who's your friend, Grunt?" Shepard asked leaning a hand on the counter.

"Friend?" Grunt glanced around.

Shepard motioned to the asari who inclined her head in greeting.

"Oh!" Grunt laughed slapping a hand on the bar.

The bottle rattled. Wine sloshed in Tali's glass as she lurched to steady them.

"Friend? Haha," Grunt said. "No, this is Illora. We've decided to mate."

Shepard's hand slipped on the counter. "What?"

"Shepard! My friend!" Wrex nudged aside Garrus.

"Wrex, hey." Shepard's eyes shot back to Grunt. "Now, what?"

"You did it, Shepard." Wrex tapped Shepard with the back of his hand and set an empty glass on the counter. "We're on the schedule. I knew you'd come through."

Wrex snatched up a bottle of Krogan whiskey. It looked half gone already. Wrex laughed and took a long gulp from his glass. Then, still holding the whiskey, he poured more.

"We have fertile krogan females again. But Grunt, he chooses an asari. It is a waste."

Illora's lips parted with a frown. Wrex's grin only broadened under her glare. Grunt put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Illora - she's fine as any krogan female. Grunt will have who Grunt wants."

He bared his teeth. Wrex either didn't notice or didn't care as he took a smacking slurp. He rolled the amber liquid around his crystal tumbler and drank it in one loud glug. He slammed it down on the counter.

"Good stuff!"

Glasses rattled. Tali hissed as she lurched again to steady the bottles. Garrus pushed around Shepard and grabbed Tali's arm.

"Enjoy the party. Let's go mingle." Garrus tugged on her.

Tali sighed but stepped away from the bar. "I hate cleaning up broken glass."

"Better than broken furniture," Garrus said pulling her past Grunt and Wrex.

"Furniture!" Tali whipped her head back to the krogan. "Maybe I should—"

"No, no." Garrus tugged her forward with halting steps and a craned neck. "Fun now. Furniture and glass later."

Illora caught Grunt's eye and tipped her head toward the main room.

"Nice to meet you, Illora," Shepard said. "Shepard, by the way."

"Oh. I know." She smiled then cast Wrex a dark look before joining the crowd growing around the couches.

Shepard laughed as Wrex poured himself more whiskey. She grabbed a stemmed glass and shuffled the wine glasses around the counter. Maybe she should have brought a dextran wine for Tali and Garrus. Her hand paused on a bottle made of purple glass. She snatched it up with a growing smile and glanced around. Alenko family winery. Shepard remembered it. She hadn't seen him yet.

Joker leaned over the counter and grabbed a bottle in front of her. Shepard flinched and blinked at him. He sat back in the bar stool beside Wrex. His crutches leaned against the bar.

Joker poured himself a glass of wine. "Our little Grunt's gone and grown up. Seems like only yesterday he was crawling out of the test tube, and now he's bringing a girl home to meet the folks."

Shepard gaped at him. "How long you been here? Didn't see you come up."

"Guess when two krogan and an Alliance pilot with brittle bone disease walk up to a bar … wait, I already gave it away."

"Joker!" Wrex bellowed and turned to him.

"Hey, Wrex. How's it going? Alliance Headquarters still sending you invoices for those cafeteria tables?"

Wrex chuckled. "We keep on good behavior. For now. We'll see. Right, Shepard?"

Joker looked between them. "Uh … okay. Seems ominous, but whatever."

"Wrex," Shepard said pouring wine from the purple bottle. "You made it on the schedule. Don't set yourself back by expecting everything to be decided in one week."

"Some things must be decided, Shepard. If the krogan are not heard …"

"Wrex, be patient."

Joker drew out a loud sigh. "We gonna discuss politics and boring crap at this party, 'cause my invitation said drinks and fun."

Wrex's laugh boomed. As it ease down, he patted Joker on the back. Joker winced. "Joker - he is right. We talk later, Shepard. For now … drinks!" He raised his glass and took a long gulp. "Ahhh, there - drinks, now fun. Where is … oh, I see him."

He staggered a little as he crossed to Javik. He stood against the wall with a flat expression, but when he saw Wrex he gave what probably passed as a prothean smile.

"Those two talking together?" Joker whistled. "Bad recipe. Gives James's huarache a run for its money."

"Hey, where is James? Saw him outside. I need to talk to him."

"Over there," Joker said and pointed to the crowd in the living room.

They laughed at some story Garrus was telling. His voice was loud enough Shepard could almost follow the story from here. Her eyes moved to Wrex and Javik standing against the wall talking animatedly. Joker was probably right about the recipe. Shepard 's eyes slid further and fell on Liara standing in the corner by the open doorway, holding her elbows, and head hanging as she stared at the floor. Shepard cocked her head with a frown.

"Hell." Jack skipped up beside Joker. "Give me the hardest damn stuff you got!"

Joker frowned at her. "Uh, do I look like the bartender?"

Jack growled a string of curses. She rifled through the selection and pushed away each wine bottle with a snort. She stormed into the kitchen and threw open cupboard doors. The glasses clanked against her other, and she shifted around inside.

"Damnit," she snarled. "They something more than a dixie cup?"

Joker leaned forward on the bar. "Full bottles of wine here. Just take one."

"Wine!" Jack hissed and rolled her eyes.

Shepard sipped her wine. It tasted just like she remembered. She held it up with a smile and swirled it in the light. He still wasn't anywhere around Shepard could see. She strolled along the counter as Jack ducked under the kitchen sink. Joker strained further over the bar and offered unhelpful suggestions with a smirk. Shepard hoped he qualified for a verbal warning.

"Good hunting. I'm off," Shepard said.

Joker touched his baseball cap with a quick salute. Shepard passed into the crowded living room leaving slamming cupboards and profanity.

 

* * *

 

Shepard mingled with the crowd in the living room. She caught up with Traynor and Adams. Tali updated her on most recent news from Rannoch. Music pulsed through the open patio door. A grassy breeze made her draw in a deep breath and look around again.

"Lola."

Shepard turned. James stood on the outskirts of the group listening to another of Garrus's stories.

"James, hey." Shepard came over. "I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm here." He tapped the arm of the brunette next to him. She had quite the head of hair - voluminous and so dark it was almost black. She turned away from Garrus's story with a wide smile. James motioned with his glass at Shepard. "This is Commander Shepard."

"Uh, hi," Shepard said.

Shepard glanced at James's Cheshire cat grin then extended her hand to the woman. The woman's dark eyes crinkled with her smile, and she gave a firm shake. She was striking.

"Rebecca," she introduced herself.

"Rebecca?" Shepard paused. Her eyes flickered to James.

James winked. He grinned so broad Shepard could probably see his back molars. She turned her eyes back to Rebecca. She could see it now – the coloring, maybe even in the smile. A thought struck her, and she glanced down at her wine glass. The Alenko family wine.

"You're Kaidan's cousin," Shepard said.

"Uh … well, yes, I am." Rebecca grinned sideways at James. "I should just introduce myself as that. Leave the name for later."

"Nah," James chuckled. "More divertido this way. Fun to see them working it out as we're all talking."

"Even better still," Rebecca pointed her wine glass at him, "if we hadn't told anyone, imagine the tense silence when Kaid finally showed up. You looking like you just found out."

"Damnit," James laughed. "You shoulda said something earlier. You didn't tell Kaidan you were coming?"

Rebecca shook her head. "You?"

James's grin widened. "Nada."

Rebecca sipped from her glass. "More fun to come then."

James turned to Shepard. "She's magnifico, Lola."

"Aww," Rebecca said. "Probably says that about all the partier's cousins he brings as a plus one."

"Not at all," Shepard said, then grinned over at James. "Actually, he used 'brillante' for Garrus's cousin and 'muy caliente' for Wrex's."

Rebecca laughed and clinked glasses with Shepard. "Wrex's cousin and James? I like it. That is 'muy caliente,' James."

"Uh … right." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Thanks for that image, Lola."

"It's totally hot." Rebecca smiled. "Gotta say though, kind of intimidated by the idea of a krogan ex-girlfriend. But what the hell, right? Danger can be sexy."

"Then you're going to love his cooking," Shepard said.

"Lola, gezz," James said. "Striking close to the heart there."

Shepard leaned in to Rebecca and lowered voice. "He's not going to introduce me to the next cousin he brings."

James shook his head and drained the last of his drink. Rebecca finished off her own glass then plucked the empty glass from his hand.

"I'll get your refill," she said. "Bet your krogan ex-girlfriend didn't do that for ya."

"Lola, you're right. No way you're getting introduced next time."

Shepard gave a lazy shrug and watched Rebecca cross to the kitchen. Joker greeted her while Jacob and Brynn shifted to make room as they picked through the wine bottles.

"She's great though." James grinned goofily. "Don't you think?"

"For the moment, right?" Shepard rounded to face him.

"Moment?" James mumbled and craned to see around her to the bar.

"That's what you live in, right? The moment."

"Oh. Oh, yeah." James focused back on Shepard and fired a shot at her with his hand. "Damn right, Lola."

Shepard finished the rest of her wine. James's eyes drifted over her shoulder again, and he grinned.

"Hey," Shepard said more seriously. "What are your plans going forward? I need a good XO."

His eyes flicked back to Shepard.

"Uh … yeah." He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. "Not that that's not a great offer or nothing, Lola, but Admiral Wilson's been talking to me. Might get my own command. I was hoping to talk to you about it. What'd ya think? It's a great gig and all … just, uh, you know? Maybe not for me. I'm not sure."

Shepard smiled despite the lump in her throat. "Take it. You'll be great, James. I mean it."

"Yeah?" James folded his arms. "I guess maybe … well, you know, get to thinking about things in the past, makes you not sure about being right for it."

"You're right for it. I'm not just saying that. That's what I told Admiral Wilson when he asked me about you. You're a damn fine soldier, and you'll make a damn fine CO."

"Thanks, Lola." James gave her a small smile. "I'll, uh, let you know how things fall and all. As for an XO, I know some guys from N7. Could pass you some names or something."

"Sure."

The crowd listening to Garrus had dispersed. Shepard's eyes shifted to the wicker patio furniture beyond the open door. Garrus now sat chatting with Liara. He waved his drink with a booming voice and laughed. The corners of her mouth lifted but her eyes looked empty as she listened with slumped shoulders.

"I'll talk to you later, James."

"Hast luego, Lola."

James moved to meet Rebecca partway as she returned with drinks. Shepard nodded at people and exchanged quick words as she made her way to the patio. Crisp spring air filled her lungs as she settled in the wickered loveseat next to Liara.

"Hey, guys," Shepard said.

"Hello, Shepard," Liara murmured.

Wine stagnated in Liara's glass on the table in front of them. It looked untouched.

"So, Shepard?" Garrus said across the table from them. "Having a good time?"

"Great, yeah." Shepard turned to Liara, who was staring at her wine glass with unfocused pupils. "Liara, it's been a little bit. How are things?"

Liara's turned dull eyes to Shepard. "Fine, Shepard."

"Everything … okay?"

Liara eyes dropped with a nod. She concentrated on her hands interlaced tightly in her lap. Garrus shifted in his chair and met Shepard's eyes with shrug. Shepard scooted to the edge the seat and set her empty glass down next to Liara's. She twisted to face Liara.

"So, uh, Liara … do you know Illora, Grunt's mate?" Shepard asked.

Liara shook her head.

"Grunt's pretty smitten," Garrus said.

"Krogan are ideal candidates as mates due to their longer lifespans," Liara said.

"So romantic," Garrus chuckled.

Liara looked up with a frown. "You wouldn't understand. Living so long is just that much longer to be without the ones we've lost. Only one of your own kind do you expect to know forever. It's the only relationship you count on to last a lifetime. You lose that …" Liara's face strained, and her hands pressed tightly into her skirt. She looked over at Garrus. "Choosing a krogan as a bondsmate would last that lifetime. So, it really is romantic despite sounding … clinical."

"Uh-hmm." Garrus glanced at Shepard before turning his attention back to Liara. "You look like you need a drink, Liara."

"I have one." Liara lifted the wineglass by the stem. Blue wine sloshed around the full glass as she set it back down.

"Okay," Garrus said. "Rephrasing. You look like you need to drink a drink, Liara. You seem a little … on edge."

"Liara." Shepard tried to catch her eye, but Liara stared straight ahead. "You're really all right?"

"I'm – I'm fine." She shot to her feet and snatched her wine glass off the table. "I'm going to introduce myself to Grunt's mate. Speak with you later, Shepard. Garrus."

Garrus returned Liara's nod as she passed. He took a long drink from his glass and shook his head.

"She is wound up," he muttered.

"Maybe." Shepard frowned at her retreating back.


	94. Chapter 94

**Chapter 25**

Shepard perused the party's collection of wine bottles twisting them to face her. Voices and music boomed from the open patio doors across the living room. The party had mostly moved outside. Shepard's hand paused on a chardonnay.

Tali's voice drew Shepard's eye to the living room. Kaidan was finally here. Tali motioned around the room. She led him to the nearest patio door. Wrex clogged the patio entrance in loud conversation with Jack, Javik, and Joker. Tali's voice was muffled under the music, but some words broke through. Apparently, it was a brief overview like Shepard had received minus Garrus's asides. Shepard poured chardonnay into her glass. When she looked up Kaidan was watching her from across the room while still listening to Tali. A smile widened on his face, and Shepard raised her glass. Tali finished, he said something, and crossed the living room to Shepard.

"Shepard, hey."

"Come for a drink?" Shepard motioned to the selection and leaned back against the counter.

"Uh, sure, and to see you." He came around the bar to her. "You look nice."

"Likewise, Major."

He glanced at the cluster of drink options. "Feel kind of guilty here. A lot more deserving attention than picking out a drink."

"Yeah?" Shepard said. "I'm here, doesn't stop me from thinking."

"You're always thinking," Kaidan smiled. "What about recruitment, like we talked about?"

"I think you're right, we won't lack for volunteers."

Kaidan's eyes moved over the wine bottles. His brow furrowed.  He reached for the purple bottle.

"Drink this!" Shepard grabbed the nearest bottle and slammed it down in front of him.

He drew back with a quizzical smile. James had better appreciate her keeping his surprise under wraps.

"All right," Kaidan said.

"You'll love it."

Kaidan squinted at the label as Shepard grabbed an empty glass. Kaidan exhaled a burst of breath and snatched the bottle off the counter. He turned it to her with raised eyebrows.

"Krogan Ryncol, 190 proof. Straight?" he sputtered. "Hell, Shepard. What'd I do to you?"

Shepard paused with the empty glass in one hand. "Uh, well … you like a challenge."

She set the glass in front of him.

"Not that kind of challenge." He slid the bottle across the bar clinking into the others. "You need to work on your challenges, Shepard. Just a breath of that, I'd be flat on the floor."

Shepard shrugged and picked up her wine glass.

"What are you drinking?" he asked.

"Chardonnay."

"Hmm."

He eyed the wine bottles. His eyebrows started to pinch together again, and he reached out to the bottles.

"Try it." Shepard thrust her wine glass in front of his face.

Kaidan blinked at it.  He eyed her before reaching out and taking it. "Okay …"

James had better show up fast. She wasn't going to distract him all night. Kaidan took a sip.

"Well?" Shepard folded her arms  and darted a look past his shoulder.

James must be out dancing. Surely, he'd heard Kaidan had shown up though.

"Well …" Kaidan stared down into the glass. "I wouldn't give it a ribbon."

"Fine." Shepard shrugged. "Snob."

"Me? I'm a snob?" Kaidan glanced back at the living room. "Garrus's windows up to your standards?"

"Size is good. Clarity … adequate. Offset from the sunset, shame. But yes, definitely in my league."

"The big window's league?"

"Sure. I, uh … this could go in a bad direction."

"Size comparisons?" Kaidan leaned against the counter next to her.

"A slippery slope," Shepard said.

"You know …" Kaidan laughed. "Uh …"

"What?" Shepard frowned.

Kaidan grinned over at her still holding her wine glass. "It reminded me. You wouldn't believe the ribald conversation I had with Liara. You'd be shocked. And probably pleased."

"What?" Shepard eyed him. "You're reading into it."

"Nope, definitely not."

"Ribald, huh?"

"Ribald."

"Hmm." Shepard shifted against the counter. "Trotting out the fancy words for the party?"

"That isn't how you impress party guests?"

"No, it can definitely do that."

"You don't think it's being too … pretentious?" He paused. "That do anything for you?"

Shepard rolled her head and looked at him. "So impressed, I'm breathless."

"Breathless? You mean … asphyxiating?" Kaidan's eyes widened dramatically then settled into a smile. "There. My kill shot."

"Death by vocabulary," Shepard mused.

"A bad way to go," Kaidan agreed.

"Definitely, one of the more painful."

Kaidan laughed and took a sip of the chardonnay. They leaned side by side against the counter.  The glass dropped in his hand.  His elbow rested on the countertop just grazing hers. A shiver prickling up her spine, and she glanced over at him. If it was intentional, he wasn't showing it. He looked straight ahead as gooseflesh crawled up her arm.

"This sounds like something I should use in my interrogations," Kaidan said. Shepard blinked. They'd been talking about something – vocabulary, that was right. He looked over at her. "Torture by vocabulary.  It's not cruel or unusual, right?"

Shepard swallowed and tried to refocus.

She smiled at him. "Have to be a pretty snarky suspect to deserve that sort of treatment."

"Well, of course, Shepard. I'm not a barbarian."

"You're better at being the good cop, Kaidan."

"What's the use of a good cop without a bad one?"

"All right, I'd be game," Shepard said.

Kaidan pursed his lips as if considering then nodded. "It could work. They bring in the suspect, plenty snarky and deserving.  I give a simple 'hi there.' But then you'd come in …"

Shepard smirked sideways at him. "Salutations?"

"And right there, he knows what's what."

"And straight off calls for a lawyer."

"Damn." Kaidan sighed. "Then I'd be out vocabularized."

"Not if you continue making words up."

"True. Enough confidence and the dictionaries all hidden …"

"We should be dragging Terra Firma agents in right now."

"Grab your coat."

The warmth against Shepard's arm lifted, and Kaidan took a long drink from the wine glass. Shepard frowned and reached for it.

"Nuhuh." He lifted it high away from her. "You gave it to me."

"For a taste," Shepard said. "You didn't even like. No winning ribbon, remember?"

"It's growing on me." He stepped away, downed the last gulp, and held out the empty glass.

"Do your own dishes." She shoved it away.

"Seconds."

"Get your own."

"The whole time I've been here, you've been manning the bar. Thought Garrus was letting you earn a few extra credits. I know you're always looking for opportunities."

"So, I'm Garrus's bartender?" Shepard looked at him flatly then finally shrugged. "Fine, Kaidan. You're cut off. Bartender's prerogative."

"Damnit. Never pick a fight with the bartender." Kaidan rounded the bar with a grin and faced her from the other side. "Lapse in judgement. Maybe I should be cut off."

"Lapse in judgement already?" Shepard clicked her tongue. "After only one glass of chardonnay."

Kaidan leaned forward on the bar and set the empty glass between them. "Put it that way, it does sound a little suspicious. Miranda taught me not to drink anything left unattended.  I didn't see you pour this."

"So, I roofied you?" Shepard lifted her eyebrows.  She leaned forward on the bar herself. "I drank from that glass too, you know."

"Not that I saw."

Shepard tapped the empty glass between them. "You wearing lipstick?"

Kaidan glanced at the lip marked rim then shrugged. "Maybe Garrus doesn't wash his glasses very well."

"Tali uses a straw, and Garrus doesn't have lips."

"Good point." Kaidan picked the glass up by the stem and looked at it in the light. "I'm starting to think you really did drink off my glass.  Poor form, bartender.  Garrus should have splurged on someone with references."

"I drank off your glass, _and_ I roofied you?" Shepard said.

"And sassed me. But I kind of like that." He stood up from the counter with a smile.

"Flirt all you want, but I'm still the bartender and you're cut off, Kaidan."

"Your lips say that, but your eyes say 'try harder.'"

"You were having more luck with the vocabulary."

"Is it cheating to use my Omni-Tool's thesaurus?"

Laughter echoed through the living room.  A crowd bubbled through the patio door in the distance past Kaidan's shoulder. James laughed at something Garrus was saying then caught sight of the bar.  He leaned into Rebecca and nodded their direction.  Kaidan followed Shepard's eyes and twisted around.

"Kaidan."

He turned back to her. "Yeah?"

"I'm glad you came."

Kaidan smiled with so much warmth it burned in her chest.

"I told you I would," he said. He moved the empty wine glass around by its base then looked up sharply. "Shepard, I—"

"L2!" James threw an arm around Kaidan's neck.

Kaidan flinched, eyes springing wide.  He frowned sideways at James.

"I should be cut off?" Kaidan said in a low voice to Shepard. James drew his arm away, and Kaidan turned to him. "Hi, James."

"L2, when you gonna join the party?"

Kaidan glanced around at the crowd condensing around them. "Looks like you brought the party …" Kaidan froze.

"Hey, Kaid."

Kaidan stared at her.  "Becca?"

James stepped back and moved Rebecca forward with a touch on the elbow. Elbow, ha. Playing it safe, James? Shepard grinned and poured more chardonnay into the empty wine glass.

"Surprise," Rebecca said.

She held her glass to the side and hugged him with the other arm.  Kaidan unfroze.  A smile split his face, and he wrapped his arms around her.  Cortez grinned like he was watching a Lifetime movie vid. The others started to talk again and moved to the drinks.

"Good to see you," Kaidan said as Rebecca stepped back.

"Not weirded out?" Rebecca asked. "I was hoping for a little weirded out."

"Oh, no. I am."

"Was hoping for a gasp, L2, but I'll take eye bulging." James laughed and clinked glasses with Rebecca.

"Kept us waiting long enough," Traynor said passing to the bar.

Kaidan surveyed the crowd. "Didn't know I was the entertainment."

Miranda dug around the bottles on the counter, clinking glass, and drew Kaidan's attention.  His eyes fixed on the purple wine bottle then flashed to Shepard's face.  He narrowed his eyes but smiled, then focused back to James and Rebecca.

"Shepard." Garrus came up next to her. "Speech time."

"Isn't there supposed to be a vote? Nominations?"

"I'd vote for you," Miranda said.

"But it's Garrus's holiday. Tali's house."

"I knew this was coming." Tali sighed.

Traynor poured herself a drink. "Shepard, it has to be you."

"Agreed," Jacob said.

"What about Grunt?" Shepard asked. "That would be unexpected. Fun, right?"

No one looked swayed.

"Fine." Shepard set her drink down. "I suppose we do this outside?"

Tali lunged forward and grabbed Shepard's wrist. "Absolutely! You all know this is quarian property, not mine, right?"

They trickled outside. Kaidan, Rebecca, and James took up the end laughing over something. The hoop toss was still set up, and Shepard edged around it. She moved to the center of the lawn and faced everyone. Tali handed Shepard a pistol. Shepard flashed her a grateful smile. Stuffing a pistol in her dress had been an obvious no-go. Still hadn't stopped her from trialing it in front of the mirror for twenty minutes though.

The mix of familiar and new faces shuffled into position on the patio. Garrus checked through the crowd as people drew out their pistols. Joker waved a spare from Garrus. Everyone was here. Everyone she loved. Almost everyone. Liara lingered to the side by the stone wall. A full glass of wine dangled in her hand. She met Shepard's eye and gave a small smile.

"Okay, Shepard." Garrus hoisted a sniper rifle up from under the wicker couch. He plodded down the patio stairs.

"Rifle? Really, Garrus?"

"This is my holiday. You can shoot whatever they want."

Shepard just shook her head at him with an eye roll. The conversations died down, and Shepard straightened.

"I'm glad everyone turned up," Shepard raised her voice. "Garrus says this is a turien holiday about remembering comrades. Unfortunately, also a holiday requiring a speech."

"Then gunfire!" Jack yelled. "Hell, yeah!"

Shepard smirked. Her eyes moved over all the faces. "It's good to remember and be together. We're all going separate ways from here, but for tonight, we're together again. This time we're not charging into battle or storming a Cerberus base. We're appreciating the people who came out the other side with us. Remembering the ones that didn't. None of us would here without the person standing next to us or the ones only here in our hearts. Many I wish were here. Ash, Mordin, Legion, Thane, Anderson. Dr. Chakwas. Samara, who's with het daughter. Many more.

"We're the ones here now, on Earth, not the Reapers. And the Reapers aren't on Palaven or Thessia or Tuchanka or Rannoch or anywhere else. We had each other's backs. Pulled ourselves out of the fire. Would have died for each other. Almost did countless times. We won. Won a future. Won a peace. Won a time like now to be together again just happy and alive. I'm proud to have fought with you and even prouder to have you all as friends." Shepard drew out her pistol and raised her arm. Everyone followed suit. "To comradery … and hoping this isn't a shuttle route. Die for the cause!"

They fired. The sniper rifle's boom echoed long after the shot. The crowd clapped, and Shepard strode over to Garrus. She shoved the pistol back at him with a smile.

"Next year, it's your turn, Vakarian."


	95. Chapter 95

**Chapter 26**

Shepard waved good bye to Jacob and Brynn as they left the party. The blazing chandelier light from inside turned them to silhouettes as they moved through the patio doorway.

"Already losing some of the rabble." James sighed. "Party's just starting. Little musica and ballamous, right, Lola?"

"Where's your date?"

"Huh? Oh …" James said. "Talking with Miranda, I think. Rebecca's, like, wicked smart."

"Yeah? Too bookish?" Shepard flopped down onto a wicker patio chair.

"Nah. Not like that." James grinned standing next to the arm. "More … uh …"

He glanced around them. Shepard watched him with a smile.

"Kaidan's over with Cortez and Joker."

"Oh, uh, yeah." James gave a light laugh. "Sure, sure. She's cool though. Pretty, uh … athletic figure, you know?"

Garrus rounded the patio chair next to Shepard and sat down with a thud. "When are you dancing, Shepard? Promised everyone a show."

"Ballamous, huh?" James grinned and set his drink on the table. "In that case, gotta find my date."

"Better tame down your better moves," Shepard said.

"I move with the music, Lola. Can't tame the Vega on the dance floor." He moved off.

Shepard chuckled and leaned against the arm of the chair. She rested the side of her face against her hand. Across the patio, Adams circled his hands around in the air with big eyes, apparently telling some tall tale. Cortez stood next to him with droopy eyes. Joker laughed before Adams paused for the punchline. From the hand gestures, it looked like the story of the duel coupling system that backed up over Ronan during the shuttle drop mission. Yeah, a good one.

Kaidan nodded with the story, but his head tipped to the side to see past Adams. The wine glass lowered in his hand, and his brow wrinkled into a deep line. Shepard followed his eyes. In the shadows at the end of the lawn, Liara stood rigidly holding her elbows and staring down at her feet. Her glass rested on a napkin on the garden wall next to her. Shepard's eyes flicked back to Kaidan. He touched Adam's shoulder and said something. He left his glass on top of a table and hurried down the stair. He strode across the grass to her.

"It's a good night, Shepard," Garrus sighed stretching his legs onto the table. "Good to see everyone back together one last time."

"Last time?" Shepard echoed with her eyes fixed on shadows at the end of the lawn.

"I'm sure everyone will see each other here and there. But the end of an era, isn't it, Shepard?"

"Uh," Shepard said darting a look at Garrus. "Right."

"What are you …" Garrus frowned and turned his head.

Kaidan touched Liara's arm, and her head snapped up. The wine glass nearly tipped over she snatched it up so fast and straightened. Kaidan shifted in front of her and said something.

Garrus leaned toward Shepard. "A surprise, that, right?"

"What?"

"Didn't see it coming." Garrus rested his arms on the chair's armrest. "But I guess that's how those things go."

"Liara and … Kaidan?" Shepard said. A rushing sound beat in her ears.

Garrus nodded. "A good thing, I think."

"Think so?" Shepard stared at Kaidan and Liara. Talking.

Garrus rolled his neck around with cracking sounds then sighed. "Kaidan's never been like us, Shepard. He doesn't just dust himself off and press on with that sort of stuff. He's been all mopey over you. Finally getting his act together though. This is good."

Shepard met Garrus's eyes and gave strain-lipped smile with a firm nod. Her eyes drifted back to the garden. Liara angled away from him with a hard look. The wine glass trembled in her hand. Kaidan grabbed it around the bowl and waited for Liara's fingers to fall away from the stem. Her hand fell to her side balling up the damp napkin and watching as Kaidan set the glass back on the stone wall.

The music volume rose and boomed across the grass. James drew Rebecca out into the middle of the lawn and beckoned people on the patio. Jack slammed a drink down on one of the tables and leaped off the patio. Others followed down the stairs. Garrus smiled broadly and looked pointedly between Shepard and the dancers. She rolled her eyes with an elaborate sigh. Her eyes wandered back to the shadows.

Kaidan watched the dancers grouping to the loud music then turned back to Liara. Her head was bowed with slumped shoulders. The napkin twisted in hands. He said something, but she didn't look up. Her hands twisted it over and over, faster and faster, until shaking. Kaidan clapped a hand over hers. He ducked his head and looked up into her face. Shepard's breath clenched in her chest.

Garrus shifted next to her. "Shepard … that bother you?"

"What?" Shepard whipped her head back to him. "That? Hell no."

Shepard snatched a wine glass off the table. Whether it was hers from earlier or someone else's she didn't even care. She took a long drink and lowered the glass with a smile. Garrus watched her for a moment then shrugged.

"Suppose it takes getting used to. Tali and I …" Garrus chuckled. "The faces alone were worth it."

"Kaidan and Liara aren't you and Tali, Garrus. It could be a, uh … fling or something."

Garrus choked out a laugh. Shepard tightened her grip on the wine glass.

"Right, right," he said.

"Why's that funny?"

"It's Alenko. It's Liara. You think either of them even know what a fling is? Damn, Shepard. Either you're trying to be funny or the drinks are catching up with you."

Shepard downed the rest wine and shot up. "You'll be pleased, Garrus. I'm going to dance."

She turned to the lawn, and her eyes focused on Liara brushing her fingertips under one eye. Kaidan inclined his head to the house. They followed the rock wall along the lawn and went through the far patio door. Shepard angled herself to watch them cross the living room. Kaidan's steps slowed as he entered the back hallway. Liara came up beside him, and he put a hand on her back just below the nape of the neck. They turned a corner out of sight.

She stumbled down the patio stairs kicking off her heels with each step. Fire burned through her veins as she shot across the grass into the movement and music. The base beat hard and fast, but the pulsing blaze in her chest outpaced it.

 

* * *

 

The party was winding down with the moon low in the distance. James was still going strong. Rebecca seemed an equally resilient partier. They moved in time with the music and laughed at something Jack was telling them. Tali looked on shaking her head as Garrus picked up empty glasses.

"Keelah," she exhaled.

"Turn off the lights and go to bed," Shepard said wobbling up the patio steps with heels dangling from her fingertips. "James's a party veteran. He knows what that means."

"Them too?" Tali pointed to Grunt sleeping face up in the lawn arms outstretched with a half-spilled beer mug in one hand. Illora stood nearby smiling at something Wrex said. He pointed at Grunt with a brewhahaing laugh, and Illora ducked her head covering a laugh behind her hand. Shepard gave a faint smile, setting down an empty glass, and dropping her shoes on the brick. She sloppily jammed her feet into them and teetered as she turned to the house.

Liara had already left hours ago. No 'good bye.' She just whispered something to Garrus and Tali before dashing out the door. It made Shepard's fingers curl tightly into her palms as she focused on crossing the living room.

Across the room, Kaidan leaned over the bar in conversation with Miranda, Joker, and Cortez. His head turned as she passed them to the hallway. She flashed a smile with a wave and picked up her pace with eyes on the entryway.

"Hey, Shepard." Kaidan's footsteps came up behind her in the hall.

Shepard closed her eyes briefly then turned. "What'd you need?"

Laughter and clanking bottles echoed from the kitchen.

"Have you talked to anyone?" Kaidan asked.

"I talked to everyone." Shepard waved expansively.

"Talked to about tomorrow?" Kaidan corrected.

"Not really," Shepard said. "Small teams though."

"Teams?"

"Teams." Shepard nodded. She pointed between them. "My team. Your team."

"Okay …" He shifted. "So … what's the plan? I'll take your point on this one, Shepard."

"Ah, like old times then." Shepard grabbed hold of the wall. Steady on. "Yes, so … you focus on the meeting. The private meeting. Meanwhile, I'll … I'll … Do you think it's hot in here?"

"What?" Kaidan frowned.

"Like … balmy?" Shepard leaned into the wall. "Anyway, well … It must be a turien thing, right? So hot? Anyway …"

"Anyway," Kaidan prodded.

"Anyway," Shepard said. "I, uh … I'll find the explosives. There you go. The plan."

"What about the meeting then the explosives? Keep our numbers together."

"The bombs are shipping out to the attack sites. Best chance of finding them is during the meeting. That's the plan."

Shepard pushed off from the wall and started down the hall toward the door. Kaidan trotted around in front of her.

"Do you need help home?"

Shepard stopped. "You have a shuttle?"

"Well, no. I'll call you one."

"Oh." Shepard frowned. "No, I can do that."

She pushed around him.

"What about who we're bringing?" Kaidan continued. "We should loop them in soon, right?"

"Uh, sure. Makes sense." Shepard punched the open button and walked out into the darkness and city air – a mixture of asphalt and ozone.

Kaidan followed her through the door. It closed behind them. Foliage hugged a gravel landing pad. A cement walkway in the distance probably lead through the rest of the embassy. The embassy's other buildings were vague shadows against the night sky. Shepard fumbled with her Omni-Tool. Damn screen. It never worked right.

"Why don't I just call you one, Shepard?" Kaidan came up beside her and turned on his Omni-Tool.

"If you insist." She swayed and put a hand out but the wall was further than she thought.

"Whoa." Kaidan grabbed her elbow.

She slid his hand off her arm. "Uh, thanks."

She concentrated on the wall and staggered a few steps to it. The orange glow of Kaidan's Omni-Tool went off. He faced her, arms folded, and watching her. She rested her weight against the wall and tapped her head back against the siding.

"What?" she said.

"I think the bartender should have cut herself off."

"There was a bartender?" Shepard frowned lifting her head off the wall then froze. She nodded. "Oh, yeah. Right. I remember."

Kaidan gave a crooked smile. "Yeah, okay."

He settled against the wall next to her. His arm brushed hers. She frowned over at him and tipped her upper body away with folding arms. Kaidan raised his eyebrows but smiled crookedly again.

"You okay?"

"I just feel hot."

"We're not even inside anymore."

"I know that! How far gone do you think I am?" Then added belatedly, "Kaidan."

Kaidan sighed. "Well, I want to talk to you more about the set up for tomorrow night, but … I think it will have to wait."

"What?" Shepard peered at him. "No, it's fine. The plan … people … Who do you want? Who do I want?"

"Works like that, huh?" Kaidan said. "Like picking gym teams?"

"Exactly." Shepard held up an index finger. "I go first."

"As always." Kaidan waved his hand out. "Go ahead."

"Garrus," Shepard said firmly and stared at Kaidan.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He smirked. "I'm not going to object. You get Garrus. Fine."

"Your turn."

"Okay … If I'm tracking Terra Firma's middle managment to their meeting, I'll need humans. I'll ask James and Miranda."

"What?" Shepard gaped. "That's two. You ever pick gym teams, Kaidan?"

"And you?" Kaidan continued. "If you're after the warheads, you need someone to disarm them. Bring Tali."

"You ruined the game, Kaidan."

"And bring Liara too. Someone to compliment your biotics."

Shepard straightened. "Liara?"

"I already talked to her. She'll come."

Shepard ground her shoulder into the wall as she twisted to face him. "Sure you want her complimenting _my_ biotics?"

Kaidan froze. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. Shepard waited. He shifted against the wall.

"I need humans in my group. But I, uh, think you know that."

"Hmm." Shepard nodded. "We could switch objectives then. Swap teams."

Kaidan pushed off against the wall. "Uh, okay, Shepard. We can talk about this tomorrow."

Shepard's mouth tightened. "Uncomfortable, Kaidan?"

Kaidan put his hands on his hips and scuffed the gravel with his boot. "Something you're getting at, Shepard?"

"No," Shepard said. "Just noticed that you and Liara seem … close."

Kaidan shrugged. "Yes, we're close." He eyed her. "That really the question you're trying to ask me?"

Shepard held his eye. "No, I guess not."

"Look." He sighed. "I'm not ignorant of the rumors. I'm fine talking about it with you, Shepard. Just, another time, all right?"

Shepard's throat constricted. Then there was something to talk about. Shepard stepped away from the wall. The embassy walkways probably eventually connected with Alliance Headquarters. The walk wasn't an unreasonable distance.

"Shepard, wait. Your cab's coming."

"You can take it." She waved him off and crossed toward the walkway.

Kaidan came up behind her and hooked her elbow. "Listen, Shepard. We're not together."

Shepard spun on him wrenching her arm free. "I know we're not together, Kaidan!"

Kaidan's hand dropped. He stepped back. "Liara and I. Liara and I aren't together."

Gravel twisted her feet as she pivoted in thought. She snapped her head back to him.

"Something happened though?"

Kaidan hesitated.

"Yes," he said softly.

Shepard put her hands up and turned around. "I don't need to know anymore. It's your business."

His footsteps came up fast behind her, but he didn't try to touch her again.

"Shepard, listen. That implies something it isn't. I want to talk to you about this but not here, now. Everyone's around, and it's late."

"Just! Kaidan!" Shepard cut the air with her hand and looked over at him. "Leave me alone. I can get home on my own. I don't need your help here, now, and—after tomorrow night and the Summit—ever. Just leave me alone."

Kaidan's eyebrows slanted up. He stopped. Shepard shot ahead focused on the walkway. It wasn't lit and the trail darkened into the distance as she started down it. Kaidan's boots shifted in the gravel behind her, and she pushed ahead.

She stayed on the path until she was in the full darkness. She took the first corner rounding some faceless, gray embassy building. Split paths wound a webwork of cement buildings. Shepard charged ahead. Her foot caught the edge of the sideway and she tripped ahead a few steps. She didn't fall though and pressed on.

"Shepard!"

Shepard spun around to Miranda's voice. An Omni-Tool light bounded down the trail with the sound of labored breathing.

"Miranda?" Shepard held up a hand to block the light flashing over her.

"Shepard. Where are you going? This is absurd."

"I know where I'm going."

"I'm sure. Let's take a cab. It'll be easier."

"No." Shepard turned and continued ahead.

Maybe she should be using her Omni-Tool light too. Shepard flicked it on. Miranda gave a growling sigh, but her footsteps followed.

"Go back, Miranda, if—"

"Lead on, Shepard," Miranda said. "But I'm coming along."

"Fine." Shepard shrugged. "This way …"


	96. Chapter 96

**Chapter 27**

Kaidan held a laminated Terra Firma ID card up to the light and turned it over in his fingers. It looked right. He snapped it back down on the Spectre office's work table. He slid the real ID up next to it and twisted the lamp closer. They looked identical. He needed a magnifying glass though. He rifled through the cabinet drawers slamming them shut. Nothing.

He tore around the Alliance supply crates stacked in the center of the room. He ripped open the top desk drawer, dug around, and jammed it shut before moving down to the next. Time was running out for all of this. He should have gone with his gut and just skipped the party.

He found the magnifying glass in the bottom drawer under a box of thumb tacks and an old datapad. He checked the IDs under magnification. The Alliance Operations Department had pulled through on these, even with it being a rush job. Kaidan fingers moved down the row of IDs: James, Miranda, Shepard, and himself.

He stood back and gazed around the room. Assuming the Alliance requisition office hadn't mixed anything up, they had the thermal clips, armor, grenades, comms. The Turien Shield pins - he'd almost forgotten about them. He flicked aside the paperwork cluttering the desk and found them. Processed this morning. The Alliance Ops Department was making him grateful to be reinstated and accessing Alliance resources again.

Kaidan's Omni-Tool flashed with a messaged. The other Spectre offices stood dark and empty as he strode down the hall. He opened the entrance to the Spectre offices. Liara looked up from her Omni-Tool with wide eyes.

"Come in," he said and stood back from the door.

Liara peered down the hallway with a creased brow. Her eyes flickered back to him.

"Am I allowed in?"

Kaidan shrugged. "You're with me."

Liara slipped past him and craned her neck to see in the closest offices.

"You're alone?"

"The Summit's tomorrow," he said.

He passed by her and moved down the hallway. Light from his open office illuminated the patch of the corridor ahead.

"You look tired," Liara said.

"Here." He nodded to the open doorway.

She walked through the door hesitantly and stared around the room. Her eyes landed on the tower of crates in the center.

"Everything's prepared?" Liara asked.

Kaidan came around her and stopped at the desk. He grabbed the Turien Shield pins.

"I don't feel ready," he said. "I don't know what more to do though. Materially. Suppose there's still audio to comb through."

Liara strolled down the row of guns along the wall and up to the city map. Kaidan crossed to the workbench and examined the pins under the magnifying glass.

"You're not afraid I'll sell your secrets on the black market?" Liara asked.

"Go ahead," Kaidan smiled at her. "I already locked up all the really damning stuff. Threw up some red herrings too."

"Red herring? That's a fish?"

"False leads."

Kaidan turned the pins over under the magnifier. He leaned in closer to study the backs. Liara stopped over his desk and touched the papers.

"You must trust me now," she murmured.

Kaidan set down the last pin and turned to her. "I always trusted you. I had a migraine. Makes it so I don't think sometimes."

Liara squinted down at the top page on the desk. Her eyes widened and snapped up to meet his. "The Terminus System?"

Kaidan sighed and nodded. "Admiral Hackett talked to me a few days ago. Once the relay is back online, I'm going."

"There can't be relays active in the Terminus System yet? It's full of slavers and outlaws. The system's never worked together to accomplish anything."

"They're raiding, killing, destroying peripheral Council space," Kaidan said, "and we can get the relay near Orian working again. Enough system relays are under repaired to get us a good ways there."

"But still, that …" Liara's lips parted, and she looked down as if processing it. Her eyes came up sharply. "That will take years."

"Two years. That's what they project to get the relay near Orian Station operational. Even once the relay's working though, there'll be a lot to do - the slavery, the killing, the piracy Dwindling resources makes people desperate, and colony economies will need reestablished in the face of all that. If it's not for the Terminus colonies, then we're there for the edge of Council space."

"Why send a Spectre?"

"Why not? They need someone out there. I can do more good for the Council there than I could a lot of other places."

"You don't know that. You sound like you want to go."

"I'll go where they tell me. I'm not being asked."

Liara's eyes dropped to the floor, but she nodded. Kaidan put his hands behind his back and leaned against the wall.

"How're you doing?" he asked softly.

Liara clutched her elbows tightly. "I should have collected myself before I went. Or not have gone. I'm embarrassed now. I think everyone noticed."

"I'm really sorry, Liara."

"I know." She smiled at him and pulled out the desk chair. "I hoped she really had made it to Thessia. It was an unlikely hope, but I was starting to believe it was possible."

"After everything with Shepard, it makes any unlikely hope seem possible."

"You and your father were close before he …"

Kaidan's stomach clenched, and he swallowed. "Yeah."

Liara was silent a long time. When she spoke again, her voice was soft.

"She was my last immediate family member," Liara said and looked at him with big blue eyes. "I only recently got to know her, and now that she's gone. It feels like all I have is what's right now. But even this will be gone."

Kaidan took a deep breath. "A thousand years is a long time."

Liara tilted her head and studied him "Would you live a thousand years, if you could?".

Kaidan shifted against the wall considering it.

"Depends," he said finally. "If everyone I cared about could live that long, then maybe yes. But if not … I can imagine how you feel."

Liara nodded silently.

"But, Liara," Kaidan said, and she met his eyes, "you're going to meet a lot of people and do a lot of things. Good things. The galaxy will be better for it. And you'll always have people who care about you, even if they're not all there at the same time. Purpose and people that love you – that can last a thousand years."

The corners of Liara's lips twitched up. He felt a smile stretch his own lips.

"I'm not being glib," Kaidan said. "I actually do think that."

"I know."

Kaidan pulled his eyes away and straightened against the wall. His eyes moved over the weapons mounted on the wall opposite him.

"What about Shepard?" Liara asked. "She got home all right?"

"Yes." Kaidan gave a wan smile. "Miranda said Shepard knew exactly where she was going. Over ten kilometers. Right to the Alliance doorstep."

"She drinks better than I do," Liara said. "She probably still remembers everything."

"Remembered the teams we put together. Got an email from her this morning. So, I'm sure she does." Kaidan tromped across the room to the weapons. He yanked a random pistol from its holder and turned it back and forth in his hand.

"You said she wouldn't let you get her a cab?"

"Nope." He slammed the pistol back onto the mount. "Let's talk about something else."

"You're angry."

"No. Maybe?" He walked over to the ID's spread across the work table. "Frustrated, I guess. But let's talk about something else."

Liara rose from her seat and came beside him. "I'm glad I was invited to help with this."

"Of course," Kaidan said. "I know you're busy though. You don't have to jump in on this."

"It may be the last time," Liara said. "Of course, I'm coming. I'll be there for whatever happens at the Summit too."

Kaidan smiled sideways at her. "You're a good friend, Liara. Shepard's lucky to have you."

"I'm not doing this for Shepard." Liara met his eye then looked away quickly. "Or I am. But not just for her. I want to help both of you."

Kaidan snatched up the closest ID cards and focused on it. "Thanks."

"Kaidan …"

"Liara." He turned and faced her. "I'm sorry. I know it's been awkward between us. I never meant for … _that_ to happen."

"Maybe it happened for a reason."

She drew closer and searched his eyes. Standing so close, face-to-face, studying the blue facets of her eyes made the memory rise around him like a mist. His chest throbbed, and he stumbled back a step. He turned away sharply and moved to the pile of supply crates. The lid flew open to reveal pistol upgrades neatly sorted with thermal clips. He sank to his knees and glanced over his shoulder.

"Maybe you're right," he said. "I never would have discovered Terra Firma's plans."

Liara's eyes fell, and she nodded. "Right. That's what I meant."

He dug through the clips. It seemed like everything was here. He could inventory all day, and it would still be here. Liara's shadow fell over the crate.

"What can I do to help?"

His heart still beat in his ears as he stood. He flicked on his Omni-Tool.

"Interested in sorting information? I have a lot of audio. Maybe you can teach me something."

"I do have some experience sorting information." Liara gave a strained smile. "Where do we start?"

 

* * *

 

Kaidan shoved the supply crate into the back of the shuttle. Joker hobbled around the corner of the shuttle.

"So, I'm glad you and the commander keep thinking of me instead of Cortez on this stuff, but using a non-Alliance shuttle sucks. Total bitch."

"Well." Kaidan hopped out of the shuttle onto the HQ landing pad. "Unless you want to explain to a discipline board why we painted over the Alliance emblems on their shuttle …"

"We can paint it back."

"Not 'we.'" Kaidan grabbed another crate off the asphalt. "Only way that plan goes down, Joker, is if you starting saying 'I.'"

"That's not what Alliance training taught me. No 'I' in team, you know. Hey, why don't you use your biotics for that stuff? You guys really miss your chances to show us, mere mortals, up. Not that you're not already showing me up – I don't hear your bones breaking – but the other mortals, like James."

"Biotics drain you. It's better to save your biotic reserves. Exhaust yourself upfront doing something you could have done physically? You might end up in a bad spot."

Joker shrugged and looked around at all the gear. "This all Alliance stuff? 'Cause this shuttle's no way near Alliance quality. Gotta haul - what? - eight people _and_ all that stuff."

"Joker," Kaidan hopped out of the shuttle again. "It will fit."

"Fit? Yeah. Fit well? No. Big difference when it comes to the propulsion drives. You try to overclock the –"

"No overclocking." Kaidan exhaled loudly.

"Well, okay, sure, Kaidan. Since you know so much about being a pilot, I'm happy to let you micromanage me."

Kaidan checked the pistol on his waist belt. "I've been a pilot."

"Oh, yeah, that's right. The second-best pilot in the Alliance - Major Kaidan Alenko."

"All right." Kaidan walked away.

Footsteps tapped onto the strip of landing pad. The door to HQ closed behind her. Shepard wore her N7 armor with the helmet tucked under her arm. She had to have a hell of hangover. Despite the dark circles, her eyes gleamed resting on the shuttle.

"Shepard," Kaidan said and moved across the landing pad to her.

"All right." She paused and glanced around. "Joker's here. Where are the rest?"

"It's only a little past noon."

"I messaged them."

Kaidan shrugged. "I'm sure they're on their way then."

"Hope so. We have a lot to go over." She pivoted and drummed her fingers on the helmet under her arm. "You have everything?"

"For the most part."

Shepard frowned. "For the most part? Or do you have everything?"

"I have everything."

"Good."

Shepard strode past him toward the shuttle. Kaidan fell in behind her. Her steps slowed, and she glanced over her shoulder at him.

"Hey. I had too much to drink last night. Sure you figured that out. Anway, I didn't know what I was saying. So let's just move on. Keep our eyes on what's important."

"I wouldn't do anything else, Shepard."

"I know." Shepard stopped short. "Just touching base. I want to keep things comfortable. And, we have a job to do."

"Understood." Kaidan's jaw tightened. "I agree."

"Then let's go."

Kaidan clenched his hands and followed behind her to the shuttle.

"Hey, Joker. Let's go over some stuff," she said.

Kaidan wandered to the end of the shuttle and mashed a button on his Omni-Tool. A holographic map of the theater and surround area popped up. He forced his breathing to slow and glanced sideways at Shepard. She leaned over a datapad with Joker. Her questioning him last night on a personal level had hurt enough, but he'd never given her reason to doubt his professionalism. No matter their private ups and downs, that part – his character, their work as soldiers – that had always been safe. She knew him better than anyone did. At least, he'd thought so. Maybe he just wanted her to. He cut his eyes back to the map. It had gone dark. She didn't need his help after this or want him around, then fine. More than fine actually. His teeth clenched as heat flushed in his face, and he punched the map up again. The sooner the whole damn thing with the Summit was wrapped up the better.


	97. Chapter 97

**Chapter 28**

One by one they assembled. Kaidan followed the crowd into a HQ conference room just off the landing pad. The shuttle peeked through the slots of the window blinds as everyone found a seat. Shepard moved to the front of the room.

"Okay," Shepard said.

James stopped mid-story with Garrus. Heads turned to her.

"This is how it's going down. Kaidan has James and Miranda. You'll infiltrate the Summit meeting posing as Terra Firma members. Kaidan has ID cards, and you'll be in street clothes. The meeting will be big, and they're planning a backroom sit-down somewhere between the cell leaders. From the audio we've pulled, Terra Firma's head leaders will be sending a representative to go over the Scorpion's orders. Listen in, we should discover the target locations for the attack. If we can, we'll track the representative from the meeting. We need to find the men pulling the strings. Maybe we'll find the Scorpion. Kaidan has the known cell leaders' bios. Key in on them at the general meeting. They'll lead us to the backroom meeting. That's Kaidan's team."

Shepard nodded in Kaidan's direction where he stood against the wall. She looked back at the seated faces.

"Garrus, Liara, Tali - you're with me. We have three missing warheads. One's nuclear, big enough to destroy the entire city all the way down past Bellevue. Kill millions. The other two are incendiary, still capable of a lot of damage."

Garrus cleared his throat. "Why hall of them? If the nuke takes out the entire city …"

Shepard shook her head with a sigh. "I don't know. I've thought the same thing. We only know Terra Firma's bringing them in and plans to use them. The warheads will be somewhere around the theater. Spectre intel says the warheads should be arriving anytime. After the meeting, the warheads will be moved out to the attack sites. But we'll have found and disarmed them first. Inert, the time can tick down, but nothing's going to happen. Get in, get out, and be quiet about it, if we can. If we can't …"

Shepard turned to Kaidan. He tossed her a Turien Shield's pin.  She held it up pinched between her fingers.

"If we can't be quiet, we're leaving a few of these. Obviously, we don't look turien if we're seen, and the Shields aren't usually dumb enough to drop their membership pins. But there are rumors of the Shield trying to recover the warheads. That's on our side, and Terra Firma will be down to hours before their attack to work this stuff out. Let's just not leave any witnesses behind to refute the Shields being behind any commotion we cause. We don't want to alarm them and have any plans change. When the Scorpion exposes himself on stage tomorrow, we'll shut down the whole attack. We'll take the Scorpion, the leaders, the moles, the whole cast and crew in one swoop."

James frowned and sat forward in his chair. "You got an army or something for taking down these attack sites in the city?"

"We knock this out of the park - prove the bombs are here and this attack is going down – we'll approach Council. We're get our little army, even if it's only C-Sec and some Spectres."

"Can't we just take 'em out tonight?" Joker asked. "One and done."

"We cause a ruckus at this gathering, the attack may get altered or postponed. The Scorpion won't expose himself on stage if the attack isn't still planned. And we need to follow a representative from the meeting to find the real leaders."  Shepard waited but no one asked anything.

"Either way," Shepard said. "My team will find the bombs, diffuse them, and sneak out. Kaidan's team follows the sect leaders to the private meeting, gets the information, and we use a tracer bug with audio/visual to follow the representative back to the real leaders. They attack tomorrow. We stop the Scropion on stage. Whatever the Council can spare will be at the target attack points.  Theymop up the Terra Firma agents huddled around the inert bombs."

"What's the geography?" Tali asked.

"Joker's dropping us off deep in the condemned part of Vancouver. We'll make our way to the theater from that direction. The theater area is roughly two city blocks and has some electrical availability. Power seemed to be coming up in the restored buildings around the theater. The Vancouver Transportation Department's old tower is close by and looked occupied. The underground mass effect transit line had people coming in and out from the station near the theater."

"The transit line?" Tali said. "The city's ME trains are back up. We're not going down there, right? Those rails …"

"We don't know if the rails are live in this section of the city," Shepard said. "Terra Firma may be using the underground terminal for something else or walking the dead rails to covertly access the transport tower at the end of the line."

"Hope so," James said. "You know, those rails and even the underside of the train vaporizes people. No body. Just gone."

"We all know that." Shepard sighed. "If the rail's live, no one's getting near it. Obviously. Also, if you're needing told, don't stare into your gun barrel or play with the ring on a grenade. If you find scissors, don't run with them. We're covered now? Kaidan?"  She looked expectantly at him.

Kaidan held up the ID cards.  "Terra Firma members carry IDs with different clearances. We all have the passphrases. Tali, Garrus, Liara – you can try passing yourselves off as mers if it really comes to it. Though, for you, Tali …"

She shrugged. "It's fine."

"Not many turien mercs around either," Garrus said. "But I'll only be seeing Terra Firma through the crosshairs anyway."

Kaidan walked up beside Shepard and continued. They only had a few hours before dusk. Plan could never cover everything. Maybe that was part of the thrill though.

XXX

Joker set the shuttle down on the street surrounded by dark, crumbling skyscrapers. Shepard leaped out. Her boots crunched onto the broken asphalt. She darted to cover behind a fallen-in wall of twisted steel and cement. Garrus scuttled up behind her. He grinned at her and tapped the sniper rifle strapped on his back.

"If I don't get the chance to fire this at least once, Shepard, I'm going to be very disappointed."

"Really hoping it doesn't come to that, Garrus."

"With you, Shepard, it always does. That's why I packed my spare clips."

Liara and Tali hunched on her other side. Kaidan stood next to the shuttle. A holographic map glowed on his Omni-Tool as he whispered to Miranda and James.

"Kaidan." Shepard waved him over.

Miranda and James flanked him as he approached.

"Commander?"

"Everyone's comm is working?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan glanced at Miranda and James who nodded.

"Good," Shepard said. "I'm going to check out the surrounding buildings, see if we can get a lead on where they're storing materials. Head to the theater. Seems unlikely they'd be keeping the explosives in the theater. Still, if you see any signs ..."

"I'll let you know," Kaidan said and turned to Miranda and James. "Let's go."

Miranda and James darted to the cement wall leading down to the main street. Kaidan rushed after them. Shepard stood up.

"Hey, Kaidan." She kept her voice low.

He paused next to the wall and turned. Shepard came over.

"Hey," Shepard whispered. "Something goes wrong in there - you get tagged - comm me. You don't have armor, rifles, and there's less in your team. That party's gonna be big. So, you comm me. Understood?"

"Understood. If it can't be contained, I'll comm you."

"No, don't wait for it to break containment. By that point, it's too late."

Kaidan held her eyes then nodded. "You're lead on this. I'll do what you say, but you have to trust my judgement. Let me gauge the situation. I'll know when to call you, Commander."

"All right." Shepard agreed. "But any big decisions come up, we need to be on the same page."

"I will comm you."

"Good luck, Kaidan." Shepard nodded.

"Stay safe, Commander."

He gave a sharp nod and darted back along the wall. He passed Miranda and James, and they fell in behind him. Shepard watched their shadows dwindle down the road before backing up. She turned to her team.

"Let's move out."


	98. Chapter 98

**Chapter 29**

"A lot of activity down at the train terminal," Shepard said hunched next to a mound of rubble that used to be the bottom floor of an apartment building.

In the distance, the theater stirred with people filling through the front doors. There was activity in the streets, the parking lot, surrounding building, everywhere really. Terra Firma members streamed steadily from the ME subway entrance.

"We'll start there." Shepard pointed at the station's entrance beyond the theater's parking lot. "Tali, you have the map?"

A holographic map jumped up from Tali's Omni-Tool. She zoomed in on their section of the street. Shepard leaned in closer and moved the hologram up and down. With a frown, she sat back on her haunches.

"Any other way than through the front door?"

Tali studied the map. "There are maintenance access points on the rail line. One of them is just outside the theater, and that skyscraper - the Vancouver Transportation Department - it has access to the end of the rail. There's an underground boarding platform like the station."

"That building's swarming," Shepard said, "and the rail might be active. Those bombs need transportation out. If the trains are working in this part of the city, my guess is that's how they plan to do it."

"Shepard, look." Liara peeked over the broken wall.

Shepard keep her head low and looked over the edge. Four armored men with rifles strapped to their backs struggled up the station's stairs under the weight of a metal shipping container. Another crate with more armored men followed behind it.

Garrus settled in beside Shepard and hissed. "Bet that's not catering."

"Not a lot of caterers dress in armor," Shepard agreed.

"These men seem well equipped for a band of terrorists," Liara said.

"They must have quite the sponsors," Garrus said. "That's a Tsunami line class IV assault rifle. They're wearing a mix up of armor and weapons, but that solid gear."

"There's more of them coming. Armed," Liara said.

Shepard ducked down and shuffled over to Tali. "Any other way? If they're bringing up weapon containers, the rail's got to be live. We not coming in along the rail. We need directly into the terminal."

"Even on Palaven, we never used mass effect rails," Garrus muttered.

"Here, Shepard." Tali zoomed in on the map. "The terminal shares a drainage system with the theater."

"Where?" Shepard said looking over the map.

Tali pointed. "The train terminal has a large storage section for storing train cars. It butts up against the theater basement. See here. They share drain lines.

"So …"

"If we can get here," Tali pointed to an area on the street, "we can get into the drain through the manhole. Could be a problem though."

"What?" Shepard pressed.

Tali shook her head. "This section of the city has intermittent power. The drain systems are probably flooded."

"So … we can't get into them?" Shepard said.

"We need to flush them. Manual switch."

"You can do that?"

"From the train terminal."

Shepard frowned. "That's why we're using the drain. What else?"

"The theater."

Shepard shuffled back against the wall and turned to Liara and Garrus.

"Either of you seen Kaidan go in?"

"Yes," Liara said. "They got in."

"Good." Shepard peeked over the wall then looked back at Tali. "Where's that manhole, Tali?"

Tali shuffled over and popped her head up.

"There."

Shepard squinted. It was just off the side street. Armed guards strolled by in the distance.

"Kind of out in the open, isn't it?" Shepard said. "But it will have to work."

She crouched down and touched the comm in her ear.

 

* * *

 

"Kaidan," Shepard's voice said.

Kaidan touched his ear piece. People bumped against him as the jostled toward the theater's auditorium. James and Miranda squeezed against him in the swarm. Armed men stood along the wall scanning the crowd. One narrowed his eyes at Kaidan. Kaidan dropped his hand from his ear and glanced at James and Miranda.

"You heard that?" Kaidan murmured.

James nodded looking around. "Yep."

"All channel comm," Miranda said.

Kaidan glanced back at the theater's street entrance. A group of armed sentries stood on the top steps. They waved through the stream of Terra Firma members pointing at each member's ID card and nodding in acknowledgement. They'd been luck so far and gotten through. That wasn't what troubled him. It was the random people pulled aside at the entrance for further scrutiny. Two armored men signaled for their IDs and examined them under a blue Omni-Tool light. The Alliance Operations Department probably hadn't known about that, whatever it was the guards were seeing under that light. Kaidan hadn't known about it. His ID card dug into his palm as he turned back to the approaching auditorium doors.

It was more people than he'd thought. Hundreds of people swarmed the auditorium in civilian attire. Armored men with assault weapons lined the walls and patrolled just about every direction Kaidan looked. He scanned over faces as they wedged through the auditorium door. He didn't see any of the cell leaders so far.

The roar of voices and waves of people shoving different directions consumed them as the crowd spilled into the auditorium. It was standing room only at this point. People filled all the chairs, aisles, and even along most of the wall.

"There." Kaidan said to Miranda and James and nodded to a corner in the back.

Open doorways spotted the auditorium's back wall. Guards stood at regular intervals between the arches and scrutinized the passerbys. Kaidan glimpsed a crowded gallery with staircases presumably leading up to the balconies. Kaidan skimmed along the auditorium's back wall until they reached the corner he'd nodded toward.

A boy dressed in armor stood at attention at the gallery door next to them. It was the same boy who'd come on stage to talk about the worked-up dogs. The boy licked his lips, eyes darted around the crowd, and finger quivering on the rifle's trigger. Kaidan angled himself to keep the boy in his periphery as they settled their backs against the wall.

James elbowed Kaidan and nodded at a man watching a news vid on his datapad. He and Shepard glowed on the screen. They stood on the Council room floor. It was from a few days ago. He watched as he raised a hand to block the camera flashes. Kaidan glanced at the guards nearby. None seemed to be paying attention to the man's screen. He pressed further back into the shadows along the wall.

Kaidan rubbed the side of his face and pressed a finger against his ear. "It's Kaidan."

"Kaidan? I've been trying to get you. Good." It was Shepard's voice. "I need you to do something."

Kaidan listened still scanning his eyes over the growing crowd. He followed Miranda's eyes to the auditorium's entrance. Four armored men parted the crowd carrying a metal box and moving toward the stage. A whole line of armored men struggling under metal boxed followed the first. Actually, now that Kaidan was noticing, there were similar crates already lining the edge of the stage. Shepard's voice ended, and Kaidan touched his ear.

"Aye, aye."

He dropped his hand. James and Miranda's attention was riveted on the metal crates.

"Hey." Kaidan got their attention. "I'm going to the theater basement."

A man on stage threw open the top of a crate and hoisted up an assault rifle. The crowd whooped. A sticky weight grew in Kaidan's throat, but he turned away to face James and Miranda.

"You remember the faces we need to find?" Kaidan whispered.

The armed boy glanced over at them with a darkening frown. Kaidan snapped his attention back to the stage and clapped. James cupped hands around his mouth and hooted.

"Yeah," James said taking a breath between cheers.

Miranda clapped laggardly with a heavy sigh.

"I haven't seen anyone yet," she said.

"Keep looking, and don't use those ID cards. They're fine to flash in a crowd, but they won't stand up to inspection. I'm going to the basement," Kaidan said.

"Shouldn't we stay together, sir?" James asked.

"Stay up here. If you see a mark, stay on him. I'll be back."

A group on stage opened another crate and lifted a helmet, pair of gauntlets, a chest pieces, and more rifles. The muscles in Kaidan's jaw flexed. He slid along wall bumping against cheering bodies. A woman's Omni-Tool screen flickered off to the side. More news footage of that council meeting. Damnit. Kaidan ducked his head and pushed on. The boy guard eyed Kaidan but didn't say anything as Kaidan slipped through the archway into the back gallery.

Staircases teemed with people shoving their way up to the balconies. He'd had no idea Terra Firma had this many members in town. People swelled around him straining to glimpse the stage through gallery archways. Kaidan shifted through the crowd toward the far end of the gallery. The hallway behind the last staircase should have a service entrance to the basement.

James's voice crackled in his ear. "Major, you might be getting company. The one guard watching us caught a glimpse of that vid. He's looking around."

Kaidan cursed and picked up his pace. He pushed through a knot of people suddenly bursting into cheers. Kaidan glimpsed men tossing rifles from the stage into the spread hands of the crowd. Two guards along the gallery wall eyed him.

James's voice came again. "He's coming your way."

"I'll get his attention," Miranda said.

"No." Kaidan touched his ear, ducking his head, and turning into the crowd. "Just watch for the targets."

James's voice hesitated.

"Yes, sir," he said.

Miranda said nothing.

The guard against the wall with dreadlocks turned to the other one. He motioned at Kaidan with a frown. Loitering in the gallery when everyone else was pushing up the stairs or straining to see the auditorium's stage must look suspicious. Kaidan needed a reason to be lingering then. He waved at the crowd around the last staircase as if finally finding someone he was looking for. Dreadlocks stopped what looked like mid-sentence with the bearded guard next to him. He watched Kaidan go and squinted down the hall at the crowd by the staircase. Finally, he shook his head with a shrug resuming his stance against the wall.

Kaidan neared the last staircase and stopped short. A lone guard stationed at the foot of the stairs swiveled a helmet to Kaidan. She hefted an assault rifle in her hands. Kaidan moved into the crowd huddled around the auditorium's archway. A new voice boomed over the mic on stage. It sounded like greets and introductions. Kaidan's earpiece crackled. He darted a glance back at the helmeted guard. She held her rifle in tight and surveyed the crowd going up the stairs.

"What's going on?" Kaidan whispered touching his ear.

"I see one of your guys," James said. "Vince Tobin. He's giving some welcome speech on stage. I'll move up closer, see if I can tail him when he comes down."

"Miranda?" Kaidan said.

"What?"

"Stay together. If you see someone else to follow, let me know."

"Fine."

Kaidan's mouth tightened, but he dropped his hand without saying anything more. The helmeted guard shifted on her feet and tapped her fingers on the butt of the rifle. There was no way around her to that hallway. The two guards down the hall were certainly close enough to hear a commotion, not to mention what the crowd would see. Kaidan sighed then drew in a deep breath. His squared his shoulders and stepped out of the crowd. He strode toward the hallway behind the stairs. The guard whipped around to face him as he passed her.

"You need help?" she said sharply.

"No." Kaidan held up a hand and continued forward. "Continue on. Keep up the good work."

The rifle lowered in her hands. "What? Who're you?"

She rushed forward and stepped into his pathway. Kaidan stopped with a frown and glared at her.

"I work with Joseph Tobin." It was the only cell leader he knew for sure was there. "I'm going to the basement."

"Why?"

"You're a sentry. I'm Tobin's second hand. You don't need to know that."

He tried to step around her, but she put her arm out.

"I'll need more than just your assertion you're work for Tobin."

Kaidan's mind reeled searching through the passphrases. Color, spider, numbers – he'd memorized them, but it was different standing here under the guard's narrowing eyes. Tobin's cell passphrase used the color red. That was the only thing he knew for certain.

"Fine," he snapped and said in a rush, "Red widow seven ten five nine delta six."

The guard punched up her Omni-Tool, and Kaidan folded his arms with a pointed sigh. Her eyes darted up at him periodically as she scrolled through a screen glowing with lines of text. Kaidan slowed his breathing. Folded under his arms, his fingertips grazed the top of his belt. His pistol wedged into his hip as he waited. She looked up.

"All right. That's from last week though. Let me see your—"

"I've waited long enough." He pushed past her. "Tobin told me to get this done fast."

He turned around the corner into the hallway before she could stop him. At the far end of the unlit hallway stood a metal door. Kaidan pressed forward down the hall as footsteps stopped at the corner of the hallway.

"Stop!"

Kaidan paused with a sigh and turned.

"Hey, Larson, Conner. Here." She waved at someone.

The gallery's lights washed out her face as she faced him at the mouth of the hallway. She was still visible to the crowd probably. Kaidan waited as two guard skidded up behind her. It was Dreadlocks and his bearded sidekick.

"This guy again?" the sidekick said.

"Where's your ID card?" the woman asked Kaidan.

Kaidan pulled the ID card from a pocket and held it at arm's length. The female guard put a hand on her hip and cocked her helmet at him. Dreadlocks moved around her.

"I've got it."

His friend, bucked teeth peeking out from his beard, shuffled forward a couple of steps and raised his rifle at Kaidan.

"Make it quick," Kaidan snapped waving the card in his hands.

"Just covering our bases, sir," Dreadlocks said.

The female guard motioned Buck Teeth to follow Dreadlocks. She hoisted her rifle up against her shoulder and looked down the barrel as she edged closer into the hall. A shadow fell across her face, and Kaidan released the tight breath in his chest. With those rifles aimed on him, he couldn't move unexpectedly. If they expected him to move though, it could buy a few seconds of response time.

"Any time," Kaidan said.

"You could have met us partway," Dreadlocks said with a few steps left.

He looked down at his Omni-Tool and flicked on the blue light.

"Fine," Kaidan sighed and stepped forward.

Dreadlock's head snapped up, eyes wide, as Kaidan backhanded him into the wall. Kaidan glowed shooting a hand out at the woman and yanking her forward. His Omni-Tool flared on the other hand, and Buck Tooth's rifle clattered to the floor as his eyes crystalized with frost. The female guard streaked past. Kaidan smashed into the basement door with a crunch. Dreadlocks gasped staggering upright against the wall. He raised his rifle mouth opening. Kaidan grabbed his throat and slammed him against the wall. The rifle clattered to the floorboards from his shocked fingertips. A blue flash of energy and his neck snapped under Kaidan fingers. Dreadlocks dropped limply as Kaidan whirling on Buck Tooth, the white cast draining away from his eyes. The eyelashes blinked, mouth starting to move. Kaidan drove him against the wall over Dreadlocks's still form. The ice across his skin cracked. Kaidan drove him against the wall again, and he shattered. Kaidan deflected a spray of ice shards with a wave of biotics and stumbled back panting. Floorboards creaked down the hall at the mouth of the hallway. Kaidan whipped his head around. That boy.

"Alert! Ale—"

Kaidan tore him off his feet, flailing, rifle dropping, and whipped him down the hall in a streak of light at the basement door. Blood rushed in his ears, and Kaidan pulled back with a fist. The boy jolted to a stop a breath from the basement door. He sucked at the air hanging suspended. Kaidan raced down. As the boy's jaw opened, and Kaidan slapped a hand over his mouth and shoved him against the wall. Blue faded off Kaidan's skin.

"Shut up," Kaidan whispered.

The boy struggled against Kaidan's fingers trying to open his mouth. Kaidan pulled him forward and slammed his head against the wall in emphasis. The boy blinked, eyes unfocused, hot breath burning across the back of Kaidan's hand. Hot blood trickled from his nose and pooling along the side of Kaidan's finger running over his knuckles. Kaidan pressed a pistol into the boy's temple and stared down the hall at the gallery light. He listened. Footsteps. More than one person.

The woman's crumpled body at the bottom of the basement door moved with a gurgle. Kaidan flashed blue flicking a hand at her. She hissed and gasped as the reave hit her. Her limbs went limp, and she lay silent. Footsteps closed in on the hallway. Kaidan leaned his face close into the boy's.

"Don't make me kill you. Yell back everything's okay."

Kaidan stared him hard in the eye then lifted his hand off the boy's mouth. The pistol's barrel dug deeper into the boy's temple as the boy gasped for breath. Boots pounded closer. The boy's eyes flashed with fire.

"Hel—"

Kaidan smacked the butt of the pistol into the boy's forehead. The boy caught at the wall sucking at air and still trying to scream. Kaidan hit him again. The boy slipped down the wall in a blood streak and slumped against the floor.

Armored steps slowed nearing the staircase. Kaidan dashed to the mouth of the hallway and hugged against the wall. His Omni-blade glowing in the darkness as his feet edged up to the bright band of light from the gallery.

A rifle spun around the corner. Kaidan grabbed it with one hand and starfished a palm over the man's mouth. A blue flash and his neck popped as Kaidan dragged him into the dark. Another rifle swung around the corner and aimed before Kaidan could react. The guard flashed blue and flew past Kaidan down the hallway. Kaidan stumbled back, energy shining off his skin, and shot a hand out ready. A shadow turning the corner. It was Miranda.

The corona faded from Kaidan's skin as Miranda rushed past him to the man she'd thrown down the hall. He struggled trying to rise to his feet. Miranda kicked him in the face and crunched his neck under her boot heel. Kaidan stared at her.

"You're welcome," she panted.

Kaidan stepped over the rifleman he'd killed and peeked around the corner of the hall. The crowd had cleared out significantly. The stairs were empty. Some curious looks turned his direction from the mass huddled around the auditorium archway doors. They were only vaguely curious looks though. The blaring voices on stage and whispered conversations of hundreds of people must have insulated the noise. Kaidan turned away.

"Did they see you use your biotics?" Kadian asked.

"It's bright out there and it was only a quick burst," Miranda said. She shook her head with a hiss though and gave him a hard look. "You're loud. I followed these guards, but they'll be more once these others don't check in." Miranda gazed around them in the dark. "Three, four … how many are here?" She glared at him. "They'll definitely miss this many."

Kaidan drug a hand down his face with a growl. "I know. Help me drag these ones down."

Miranda grabbed the man's feet below her. Kaidan grabbed the another's ankles.

"Where's James?" Kaidan said.

"Following your man. Tobin left the stage, went upstairs. I heard the commotion over here."

They dragged the bodies to the basement door. Last body dropped, Kaidan smacked the open button for the basement door. Nothing happened. Kaidan cursed and tore off the panel beside the door as his Omni-Tool flicked on. A voice moaned behind him. Sounded like the boy. Blue light glimmered on the metal door in front of Kaidan. His pulse spike, and he swung around with a raised hand. Blue flashed over the boy with a booming clapback. Miranda staggered back a step. An aftershock shivered over them, and Kaidan stood.

"What …? Did you just block me?" Miranda's lips drew back as she turned to him.

Kaidan bent and checked the boy's pulse. He was alive. His fingers twitched, moaning again as Kaidan stood up. The boy was waking up. Fingernails dug into Kaidan's bicep, and Miranda twisted him around.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Trust me," Kaidan snapped and unclawed her fingers.

He shoved her hand back and tore bandages out of his pocket. He bent over the boy.

"You're giving him first aid?" Miranda grabbed Kaidan's shoulder.

"Stop!" He flicked her hand off. "I'm making a gag." He pointed to the basement door's control panel. "Get that open."

"I'm not a tech. Won't be fast," Miranda snorted but scurried down next to the panel. Her Omni-Tool brightened the hall with orange light. She shot him a glare over her shoulder. "This is insane, Kaidan."

Kaidan finished the gag. The boy's eyelids quivered but didn't open. Kaidan folded out a pair of biotic handcuffs stuffed in a back pocket. The boy wasn't a biotic, but it worked on anyone with hands. Kaidan secured the cuffs and flopped the boy onto his stomach.

Sparks sprayed out of the control panel, and Miranda muttered. Kaidan shoved in beside her with his own Omni-Tool up. Miranda got to her feet.

"So … what?" she said gesturing at the boy. "We're taking prisoners, Kaidan? Tell me. How's that going to work?"

"Just stop." Kaidan held up a hand and gave her a pointed glare before turning back to the panel. "Trust me."

The door activated. Kaidan jumped to his feet. Miranda paced down the hall, listened, and wandered back. There wasn't any fire in her steps. There must still only be the drone of the microphone and baseline murmur of a crowd.

"James?" Kaidan touched his earpiece.

Miranda grabbed a body by the shoulder and dragged him through the open doorway. Armored heels thumped down the basement stairs to the bottom before she tore up the stairs for the next.

"Kaidan," James said. "Hey. I followed Tobin. But, uh … kinda bad news."

"What do you mean?" Kaidan massaged his temple. He'd have a hell of a migraine in a few hours. "James?"

"Yeah … So, uh, they just went out the front door - Tobin, some of the other faces you showed us. What'd you want me to do? I have my ID."

"No," Kaidan rushed to say. "No one uses those IDs. You leave mid-meeting out the front door, they're sure to check it with the light. Come to the south end of the gallery. Hallway behind the stairs. We regroup."

Kaidan dug around the bodies searching their utility belts and pockets.

"That hard up for credits?" Miranda asked.

Kaidan held up an ID card and gave her a flat look. He pulled the body down the stairs and searched through the ones Miranda had already deposited.

"Here." He came up the stairs and flipped a card to her.

She caught it. "New ID? I'm not a blonde." She turned the picture to him.

"You want one of these then?" He folded them out in one hand like a deck of cards. "You want to be a man with dreadlocks? How about this one? Hair color's right."

"This won't pass." Miranda waved it at him.

He pushed it back to her. "Put your thumb over the picture, maybe they won't notice. Say you dyed your hair. You use the other one, there's no chance of slipping through an inspection."

Kaidan took down the last body. When Kaidan reached the top step, Miranda was standing over the boy. She rolled his head to the side with the toe of her boot.

"He's coming to," she said. "What're you going to do about it?"

Kaidan pushed her aside and grabbed him by the collar of his armor. Kaidan lugged him to the stairs. The boy's legs dragged. His feet caught with a smack on each step, but Kaidan kept the boy's face and chest raised high. Miranda's feet tapped down the stairs behind him. Kaidan turned to her.

"Wait for James, then close that door behind us. Lock it."

"Lock ourselves in?"

"I'm draining the water system. We'll get out through there."

"While hauling around that kid?"

Kaidan glared up the stairs at her. "Miranda, listen—"

"Just let me do it," Miranda snapped. "You can rest your pretty little conscious knowing I did it, not you."

Kaidan dropped the boy and tore up the stairs two at a time.

"Listen up." He jammed a finger in her face. "We're not playing around. You do what I say, or you don't come. You decide."

He held her eye for a moment then turned back down the stairs.

"Wait for James, then lock the door."

Kaidan snagged the boy by his collar and dragged him to the bottom of the stairs. The boy's head lulled, and he moaned through the gaga. It was dark, and Kaidan wasn't sure where the lights were. He didn't have time to figure it out. His Omni-Tool light illuminated stacks of stage background cut-outs, rows of shelves, dusty bins, building materials, and overflowing boxed of hats and costuming. Light bounced down the wall illuminating a door at the far end of the basement. It could be a furnace room or electrical access, but it seemed the right position to be the drain system.

He dropped the boy beside the door. The boy groaned and lifted his head slightly before slumping back against the wall. His eyelids fluttered. Kaidan could hit him again and try to knock him out. Blood and bruises distorted the boy's swelling face, and Kaidan sighed. No, another hit might tip the scale.

The utility door was locked. Of course, it was. Kaidan found the side panel and overrode it. The door opened on a room blinking with a grid of buttons Pipes dripped from the ceiling and crisscrossed the back wall. Kaidan smiled.


	99. Chapter 99

**Chapter 30**

Shepard listened to her earpiece and nodded. She took her finger away and turned back to her team. They'd scoped out the buildings along the street but now sat huddled by a crumbling cement wall. Tali peeked over the wall again with a sigh. She was probably still fretting over how to get to the manhole in the middle of the street.

"They caused a commotion in the theater," Shepard said.

"Commotion?" Liara's eyes rounded.

"Killed some guards. Hid them in the basement. But Kaidan said there's blood in the hallway if anyone uses a light to look around."

Garrus whistled. "How many they get? Need the score. We can beat them, right, Tali?"

"I just want to get to the bombs."

"As do I," Liara said.

"Okay," Shepard said. "That started a timer on us. We need to get in and out before this whole place blows up. Hopefully, they'll be focused on the theater. Maybe they'll think the Shields got into the theater through the drain in the basement."

"How are our people getting out?" Liara said.

"It's under control. Let's move out."

They shuffled down the wall closer to the street. The broken end of cement wall exposed gnarled metal rods sticking out at odd angles. Shepard peeked around the corner. The manhole was only a block away from the traffic rushing between the subway terminal and the theater. Cargo containers hefted in the arms of armored guards continued to pass. Shepard pulled her head back.

"We'll be exposed, so go fast," Shepard said. "I'll go first, get the manhole cover off. Garrus, you head up the back."

Shepard watched each head nod and then turned back to the street. A pair of armed guards stood at the end of the road. If she threw a pebble, she could hit them. They had their backs to the street, talking, and pointing at the theater. The dusky light would be enough for them to see her in the open street, but Shepard could be here all day if she waited for them to move.

Shepard spun out around the corner spraying cement chips. She raced toward the manhole keeping close to the ground. She was almost there. The left guard turned sideways. Shepard slid down. She scraped her legs out and pressed flat against on the asphalt. Her muscles coiled barely breathing as she watched the guard.

"How many?" The guard raised his voice speaking into a comm on his ear. "All missing? You're sure?"

The second guard facing the other way was barely audible. "We knew there'd be resistance. Too many people knew about this."

"We'll stay on alert," the first man said and dropped his hand from the comm.

"I told you—"

"Don't start again."

Two meters, just over a body's length, separated the sole of Shepard's boot from the manhole cover. Shepard rolled onto her stomach, checked the guards, and crawled around on her elbows. The guards continued to argue as Shepard's armored hand touched the manhole cover. She felt around for a grip and curled her fingers into the holes on either side of the round plate. It moaned lifting in her fingers. The second guard spun around.

"What was that?"

Shepard froze lying on her stomach with the lid raised centimeters from the manhole.

"All jumpy now?" the other guard chuckled.

"No. I heard something."

Shepard flattened against the road, keeping the manhole cover lifted, and held her breath to listen. The sunset cast long shadows across the road, and the anxious guard shaded the eyes slots of his helmet and peered down the block. Shepard's heart beat in her throat as she waited. Liara peeked around the cement wall at her. The barrel of Garrus's rifle slipped over the top of the wall. The guard shuffled into the street a couple of steps.

"Let's look around," he said.

"You think it's that turien group?" the other said.

"Could be those guys that split off with Raulie. They knew about the Summit."

"Let's start here. Work out way down."

Shepard grimaced. A shot from the sniper rifle would wake up the whole damn place. The guards meandered toward her, staring up at the rooftops, and peering through the windows lining the street. One of the guards flicked on his Omni-Tool light and pressed his face to the glass of a two story building. The roof had caved in. Shepard's eyes caught on a chunk of broken roofing balancing on the edge of the top story. She smiled. The second guard strolled over to the other guard and said something.

Shepard flared blue, dropped the manhole cover from one hand, and reached out with a flash. The chunk roofing glowed and tumbled forward with a tearing groan and thundered into the building. The windows blew out in a rush as Shepard tore the manhole cover up. She met Liara's eyes, sliding the cover across the asphalt, and waved her over. The guards hunched down shielding their faces with their arms in a plume of dust. Liara sprinted around the rubble. Shepard nodded at Tali and then met Garrus's eyes peeking above the wall.

"Come!" she mouthed with an emphatic wave.

The guards peered through the broken window into the dusty building. One of the guards broke away some of the jagged glass framing the bottom of the window, hopped over the glass, and disappear inside. Liara slipped down through the manhole. The second guard pulled the rifle off his back and shined his Omni-Tool light into the building. Tali followed Liara. Garrus slid down next to Shepard.

"Go," Shepard whispered.

Tali missed a rung on the ladder with an echoing bang. Shepard shoved Garrus down.

The guard turned with his rifle "What was—"

A clump of asphalt flashed blue behind him and flew through the jagged glass into the building with a hollow boom. The guard spun back around. Shepard jumped down the manhole, blue light fading off her skin, and pulled the manhole cover back in place with a metallic thump. She dropped down the ladder and splashed thigh-high into dark water. The guards had to have heard that thump, but unless they suspected someone going through the manhole, they wouldn't find anything.

Shepard pointed at Garrus. "Let's not discharge our firearms, unless we can't help it. Now, let's go."

The drain pipe lead two directions. Shepard shined her Omni-Tool light each direction before turning left with a wave of her arm. Black slime covered the walls in Shepard's light beam. Earthy, moldy smelling water splashed around them as she shuffled ahead. Garrus raised his sniper rifle over his head, green water lapping at his thighs, and snorted.

"I thought Alenko drained this."

"It is draining," Tali said. "See …" The water rippled along the wall. "It's already gone gone down a few centimeters since we dropped down."

Shepard flashed her Omni-Tool around the drain. An intersection was coming up with another pipe. There weren't any ladder or markings on the wall.

"Tali, you know which direction?"

"Here," Tali pushed around Garrus up beside Shepard.

Her Omni-Tool map glowed, and she waved everyone forward taking the lead.

"What's in this water?" Liara asked into hand covering her mouth and nose.

"You really want to know?" Shepard looked back at her. "It won't make you feel better."

"You're probably right." Liara sighed.

Tali pulled up short, and Shepard bumped into her back.

"We're coming up to a grate," Tali whispered.

Shepard leaned around her and looked down the drain pipe. Sure enough, a faint square of light reflected in the water a few meters ahead. They wadded forward quietly, but the noise overhead beyond the grate drowned away even the faint slosh of water around their legs. Metal screeched, voices yelled back and forth, and footsteps pounded overhead.

"I thought this pipe lead to where they stored train cars," Shepard whispered.

"It is," Tali said.

A ladder caught in the beam of Tali's Omni-Tool. It ran up the wall to a grated drain overhead. Shepard turned off her light, moving around Tali, and grabbed the bottom rung. She squinted up at the grate as she climbed higher. Something shadowed the grate overhead. When Shepard reached the top, she recognized the silvery, undulating underbelly of a train car. If the train car turned on, those undulating lines would be blazing with mass effect fields. She and probably everyone huddled at the bottom of the ladder, would be vaporized memories. The car wasn't on a rail though and seemed to be raised on stack, maybe under repair.

Shepard slid her fingers into the grating slots. Voices boomed far enough away Shepard couldn't make out the words. It sounded like a mostly female voices. Shepard frowned and listened harder but there was too much activity - banging, scraping, and running. Shepard heaved the grate up, climbing up another rung, and pushed it aside careful to not scrap it across the cement floor. Shepard peeked up over the edge of the hole.

Shadows from other train cars spread out on either side of what looked like a sprawling warehouse. She was only a couple train car from the back wall. Straight ahead was what really drew Shepard's attention. Forms moved in the bright light beyond the shadows of train cars. Shepard pulled herself up out of the hole. She hunched up on her knees under the wavy dip in center of the train's underside. The rail blazing with a mass effect field of its own should run along this dip, but instead Shepard could look down the hollow track of train cars at the bright clearing ahead. Unnatural being underneath a train car, even without a rail. The wide eyes on each face as they came up told her, they probably felt the same.

"What's happened up ahead?" Tali asked.

Garrus squinted through this rifle's scope. "Maybe a dozen guys, Shepard. No problem."

"That's not the problem." Shepard shove the gun barrel down. "It's the giving ourselves away."

"These guys? Pawh," Garrus said. "We've taken armies of banshees and brutes."

"We need the Scorpion to think their attack hasn't been compromised, Garrus."

"We take care of his army … even if he goes free, what's a king without his country, eh, Shepard?"

"This isn't the king's entire country, Garrus. Cool it, all right?"

Garrus sighed. "Just wake me up when there's some action."

"Well, don't fall asleep here. We're moving closer. Let's get a visual."

They crawled to the front train car and lay on their stomachs watching Terra Firma guards moving freight. They were all men. Shepard swore she'd heard female voices though.

"Looks like they're bringing in the crates from the train terminal's loading platform through that door," Shepard said. "They're loading those two train cars."

"Those cars on a rail," Tali said lifting her head high for a better view. "There's a retractable door in the wall in front of them. Probably leads out to the main track."

"Think they're getting ready to send out the party favors?" Shepard asked.

"And by party favors, you mean warheads?" Garrus asked.

"The best terrorist parties have them," Shepard said. "There are only two train cars though. We have three missing warheads. Still, seems promising. Only one way to find out what we're looking at. Tali, up for some disarming?"

"It could take a while. They've probably reengineered the detonation codes."

"Whatever it takes," Shepard said. "We'll sneak you onto one of the cars to get a look."

"Shepard," Liara breathed and turned wide blue eyes to Shepard. "Look in the train cars. They're guarded. I see commandoes."

"No …" Garrus smiled raising his sniper rifle. He clicked his tongue. "Finally, something interesting."

Shepard squinted at the train cars. Shadows moved across the windows. An asari moved into the open doorway of the front train and directed the loading of another crate.

"Mercenaries then," Shepard sighed. "We know they're working with Terra Firma. The warheads have to be in those cars if they hired commandoes to guard them. Smart."

"Dumb," Garrus said. "Because now we're going to kill them. We _are_ going to kill them, right, Shepard?"

"Garrus …" Shepard frowned. She looked at each of their faces. "Ideas?"

Tali pointed to the doorway in the corner where only a few men were left straggling in crates. Crowds of armed men shifted just beyond the open doorway though on the loading platform.

"I can lock that door," Tali offered. "Buy us some time."

"Liara?" Shepard twisted to face Liara.

"I don't think there's any way around it, Shepard. We can drop one of the Shield's pins. I can use my contacts to inflame rumors that the Shields were involved."

"Garrus, I can feel you smiling through the back of my head," Shepard said. She thought for a moment then looked at each of them again. "Okay. This is what we're going to do. We need those warheads out of commission no matter what. Tali, you'll seal that door to the platform. Garrus, cover us from here. Liara and I will draw the fire."

"I'll get as close as I can before breaking cover," Tali said and scuttled to her right.

She darted between train cars to the far wall neared the doorway. The guards milling about the train cars didn't seem to notice. Shepard peeked over her pistol and touched her earpiece.

"Kaidan, James, Miranda - we're going to raise a hell of a ruckus over here. How's that meeting? Do we need to wait?"

James's voice. "Uh, yeah, about that meeting. Think we got a hitch in plans."

Tali paused under the last train car and turned toward Shepard. Shepard held her off with a hand.

"They're readying that first train car to send out, Shepard," Liara whispered.

"Kaidan?" Shepard called into the comm.

"Here, Commander." Kaidan's voice. "We followed the cell leaders but, uh … they're not meeting in the theater."

"What do you mean?"

"They're in the Transportation Department tower, the skyscraper. Just saw a couple of shuttles from the city land on the roof."

"Okay." Shepard grimaced. "Try to find a way in. The ruckus here might put their meeting on hold. Let's just hope it doesn't derail things entirely. The warheads are the priority here."

"Agreed," Kaidan said. "Be careful. They're a lot of armed men that'll be headed your way."

Shepard dropped her hand from the comm and shared a look between Garrus and Liara. Each nodded in turn. Shepard motioned at Tali. Tali burst out from under the train car and streaked to the door. Helmets turned. Tali slammed the shut button and dropped to her knees by the door's control panel. Two guard next to the train car raised their rifles. A shot reverberated through the storage room. One of the guards staggered backward grabbing limply at the train car before tumbling to the ground. Garrus grinned and pumped another round into this rifle.

"Let's go." Shepard bolted out from under the train car and flickered blue.

Liara's corona glowed as she rushed out behind her. There was an open space with shipping crates and train cars lining the opposite side. Guards hollered, ducking behind freight, and falling back to the train cars. A bullet skid off Shepard's barrier as she slid around a metal shipping container. She threw a twisting sphere of light across the clearing. It landed between two train cars. A guard staggering back from Liara's pistol fire fell backward into the vortex. Liara flicked her wrist at him with a flash. The biotic detonation shook the train cars sending armed bodies flying across the gravel. The guard at the center of the explosion lay still, but the others caught in the aftershock pushed to their feet. One of men had just pushed to his feet when his helmet exploded. His body toppled down in a red fountain. Garrus was probably pleased over that one.

A translucent drone flew overhead as Tali ran from the door's control panel back into the cover of the train cars. Shots pattered the ground in her trail. Asari spilled out the train car doors. One stumbled back holding her side as Tali's drone flashed overhead. A rifle cracked, and she fell backward finished off in bloody spray.

Two humans flailed as they floated overhead in the clearing. Liara's singularity swirled beside them. Shepard whipped her hand out at them. One lit up with a crack and pow. The blast rippled across the floor. Two guards near the detonated wheeled backward falling against a train car.

Shepard flung a singularity sphere at a train car door where an assortment of mercs were emptying out. There was more than just commandos. The mercs staggered under the vortex but pulled free with their shields and barriers glimmering. A guard clicked on a turret. Shots smattered into Shepard's crate she was using for cover. She ducked back. The boom of sniper rifle shots echoed around the room. The room flashed with biotic blasts.

A swirling sphere spun around the corner of the crate next to Shepard. Her boots skidded on the concrete, but she clenched her jaw and pulled free. A tearing wave rippled through her barrier. Her barrier weakened, and she twisted around looking for the source. Another ripple crackled through her dimming barrier. The sphere sucked at her, and she struggled to pull free. It was going to pull her out into the open. The turret hammered Shepard's crate. Tali streaked past from cover, Omni-Tool glowing, gun firing, and the turret burst apart in a fountain of sparks. The sphere blinked out, and Shepard steadied herself.

Shepard glimpsed a commando in the window of the train car behind her. Undoubtably the one warping her barrier. The angled her pistol out the window aiming at Shepard. A bullet glanced off Shepard's barrier with a sharp sting as she ducked.

A shadow fell over Shepard. She spun and fired. A guard stumbled back, shield sparking, but fired his rifle. The shots knifed into Shepard's barrier tearing apart the weave. Her barrier broke. The commando in the train car threw singularity behind Shepard, and she lost her footing. Her fingers snared the edge of the crate.

The rifle clicked in the hand of the guard she'd knocked back. He hissed and changed his clip. Shepard threw a warp on him, but it only rippled across his shield. Something lit up his shield from behind, and he swung around with his rifle. A drone floated overhead firing, and the man's shield quivered and broke. A sniper rifle boomed, and his head burst in a spray of bone and blood. His body toppled over.

The singularity blinked out, and Shepard stumbled to her feet in a crouch. She lifted her head enough to see the commando firing out a broken window at Liara. Liara slipped between the crates and box cars throwing up biotic flashes. That many warps, the commando's shield should have broken, but it held. Liara rolled under the asari's window and tossed singularity up at the broken glass. Shepard leaped to her feet firing her pistol. The bullets caught the commando by surprise, and she swung around as another Shepard hit her with a warp. Her shield finally broke. Liara's singularity pulled her in. She fumbled for the window edge as she slipped through the broken window. Revenge was a bitch. Shepard smiled and threw a warp onto her. The burst rattled the train car, and Liara covered her face in the spray of glass. The asari's body slammed into the wall of the train car and slid down with a thump.

The platform door was still locked and holding. Yelling, pounding, and machinery boomed around the room from the other side. Tali knew how to jam a door, and Shepard doubted they had engineers to match her skill in overriding it. They'd need a laser or some heavy machines to get through, which could actually be on its way.

Another turret thundered bullets into the crate behind Shepard. She darted straight ahead down a row of train cars keeping the crate to her back blocking the turret's bullets. A commando dashed across the aisle up ahead and disappeared between two train cars. Someone with a purpose. Shepard frowned and sped ahead following her through the gap between the train cars. The asari took a few two more rows, leaping between cars, and rounded on the third row. Tali's back was to the row as she fired into the clearing. The asari raised her pistol. Shepard smashed into her with her Omni-Blade.

The commando fended Shepard off, glowed blue, and slamming energy into Shepard's weak barrier. It snapped. The commando threw her flying backward. She slammed against the train car. Pain seared up her back as she dropped to the ground. Blood sprayed from her mouth across the cement. She snapped her head up and threw a warp, but the commando's barrier held. The commando raised a hand and a streak blue energy slammed into Shepard. She clenched her teeth with a hiss as electricity shivered through her bones. The commando grinned raising another flickering palm.

A shadow passed over Shepard, and the commando stumbled back. Blue light zigzaged across the commando's barrier. Liara's boots scuffed past Shepard's face, and another burst of energy knocked the commando down. Shepard stumbled to her feet as the commando sat up and hurled a bolt of energy at Liara. The energy skimmed Shepard's barrier as she knocked Liara aside. The asari raised palms crackling blue energy and narrowed her eyes on Shepard. Shots echoed out behind the commando, and she reeled forward into Shepard as her shield broke. Her eyes strained wide with a wet gasp, and Shepard withdrew her Omni-blade. The commando dropped to the cement as Tali rushed up with her pistol.

"They're coming through the door," Tali said.

"Anything you can do?" Shepard asked.

Tali nodded. "I need to get to the door again."

"Let's go," Shepard said.

Shepard gave Liara a hand up, and they sprinted down the row of cars to the cleared area. They'd thinned the herd considerably, but shots still echoed still around the room. Garrus was taking a lot of heat hunkered under one of the train cars. The door to the train's platform rumbled, and Tali bolted toward it. A guard stood up by a crate and followed her with his rifle. His helmet burst in a red spray as the shot from the sniper rifle echoed around the room. Shepard plunged after Tali and spread a shield out from her hand. Biotics and bullets pounded against it. Tali slid down by the control panel as Shepard held the shield out as cover.

"There's two sets of fire doors I can close," Tali said leaning in with her Omni-Tool glowing.

Sparks sizzled from the crack around the doors. Shepard's shield flickered under the barrage, and her jaw clenched feeling each hit reverberate through her bones. Liara rushed toward them flinging bolts of energy at the helmets peeking around nearby crates. She raised her own shield and skidded up next to Shepard. Liara's shield unfurled, flickering and overlapping the edge of Shepard's field.

Grenades burst against Shepard's shield. Shepard fell back a step into Tali. A chain of rifle fire pounded her shield and more biotics. Shepard gritted her teeth feeling sweat run down her back. Tali panted cursing. A red door slid across the sparks coming from the metal doors.

"There's another on the other side," Tali yelled pushing keys on her Omni-Tool. "I can get it."

"Hurry," Shepard said through her teeth.

Another grenade exploded, and she fell back. Liara caught her arm. Liara's own shield was flickering, and she turned back to it wide-eyed. But the barrage seemed directed at Shepard's field. A burst of energy hit her shield, and Liara clutched her arm to steady her again.

Liara moved in close to Shepard and pressed her own shield out further and wider. It sizzled passing through Shepard's shield and wavered just a breath beyond it. Shepard caught her breath a little dazed. Liara stumbled back reeling from another grenade. Pieces of shrapnel tore through both shield and slashed Shepard's forearm. She dropped her pistol, swearing, and focusing on the shield.

"Almost, almost," Tali said.

Garrus raced along the train cars and darted along the wall to them. Liara's chest heaved as she kept her shield barrier out. Bullets rippled and another grenade it exploded. It snapped Liara's shield back and hit Shepard's full force. They both stumbled to their knees with shields flickering. Garrus peered through his scope, angled around the shield, and returned fired.

"Liara," Shepard panted. "Reinforce my shield barrier."

Liara nodded vigorously, breathing through her mouth, and licking her lips. Liara's shield went out. Shepard growled under the strain. Liara reached her hand, and touched Shepard's shield barrier. Energy rippled from her fingertips. It brushed under Shepard's barrier and anchored against it with wide, knotting loops. Shepard pulled in a deep breath as the shield bolstered. Liara's field hardened beneath Shepard's, and they lock together. Shepard's shield tore and splintered under the gunfire, but the stiff resistance of Liara's foundation locked below it held the onslaught. Still on her knees, Shepard braced a shaky hand on the ground and squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart beat in her throat with the stab of each bullet. Shepard's shield fragmented and cracked against Liara's field like having a hammer hitting two metal sheets. She couldn't repair it fast enough. Another grenade hit. Liara gasped clutching Shepard's arm. Nothing cut through the sealed layers though.

"Okay. Done." Tali sprang to her feet. The doors creaked under the sound of another door grinding shut on the other side. "That should take them a while."

"Let's finish them off." Shepard panted, letting her shield drop, and feeling a rush of energy return.

They returned fire and sprinted for cover in the train cars.


	100. Chapter 100

**Chapter 31**

"Damn. That _is_ quite the commotion." James grinned then squinted over at the tower.

"Not enough though." Kaidan paced up to the broken shop window facing the theater and train terminal. Armed men swarmed like ants on a trail between them.

Miranda's heels crunched over the broken glass and rubble as she came up beside him.

"He's hog tied in a back room. Easy enough to extract later," she said.

Kaidan glanced over at her and nodded absently. A steady streak of running and yelling was underway out in the gray twilight, but nothing moved at the tower. In fact, it seemed to have only increased the guard count and sentries' vigilance. They even brought the dogs over patrolling around the building with some armored handlers. These guards boiling around the tower seemed more elite. Their armor was better, all with full suits and helmets, and the way they carried their assault rifles spoke to some training. It was getting too dark to see them well from this far though.

"What now?" James asked. "What about that map again?"

Kaidan brought up the schematic, twisting, and expanding it. James and Miranda huddled in beside him and stared at it. They'd already examined it twice, but there was no way but the front door.

"Joker could drop us off on the roof," James said.

"He'd be seen or at least heard," Kaidan said. "Even if we hid before the guards got to the roof, the meeting would be halted and moved for security."

"Let's climb to an upper story window," James said.

Miranda stared at him. "You're serious? We'd never make it to the base of the tower. Even if we could, you saw the lower stories' windows - sealed. We're not climbing four stories up unseen? They have guards on the fire escapes."

"Just airing ideas," James said. "Haven't heard on your side."

"I won't waste time with absurdities," she said. "There are three ways in – the front door, drop off on the roof, and that."

She pointed at the rail line passing from the through the theater's train terminal and ending at the tower. Someone had mentioned the tower having a loading platform below ground. There'd be an elevator or stairs to get to the top floors.

"You're suggesting _that_?" James frowned at Miranda. "Now _that's_ crazy."

"We'll take the rail," Kaidan snapped off his Omni-Tool. The map flashed away.

"Wait, wait. What?" James said.

"There's a maintenance access point mid-line." Kaidan rested a hand on the side of the window and leaned out.

He searched the open ground between the train terminal and tower. Most of it was parking space or once landscaped. The maintenance hatch should be midway between. It could be buried under the debris.

"You're serious?" James asked lightly.

"I'm serious." Kaidan's eyes strayed to James.

James straightened and nodded. "Yes, sir."

Miranda strolled to the opposite edge of the window. "You're aware the rail's live, right?"

"I figured that," Kaidan said and stood away from the window. He pulled out his pistol. "Let's go. Keep low. It's getting dark enough, we shouldn't draw attention if we're quiet."

James nodded absently, chewing the corner of his lip, and turned toward the door. Kaidan stepped forward. Miranda stood in his way.

"Miranda …" Kaidan's jaw flexed.

"Kaidan, just listen." She kept her voice low and stepped in closer. "Skip the meeting. You want to follow this representative back to the real leaders? I'm sure one of those shuttles dropped him off, and it will take him back. Let's go wait with Joker. We follow the shuttle when it leaves."

"There's more than one shuttle up there."

"Then let's get more than one shuttle over here. There's still time. Message Cortez or someone."

James eyed them from the doorway and leaned against the door frame. Kaidan folded his arms and thought for a moment.

"That's a good idea. It is," he said. "But we need to know their full plan. They'll catch us somewhere on it if we're not ready. Let's find the rail's maintenance hatch. It could be buried. Then we'll know our options."

Miranda stepped aside with a nod and let Kaidan pass. She followed him to the door.

XXX

"It's shielded and encrypted." Tali twisted to Shepard as the two of them crouched by the warhead.

The warhead was enormous. So much larger than Shepard thought. The outer shell stood at shoulder level. Shepard tugged her gauntlets off and stuffed them in her helmet on the floor beside her. The bomb's core, covered by a glass case, didn't look damaged from the fire exchange. Shepard pressed her palm to the cool glass as confirmation though. The ignition process hadn't been triggered. She rose and gazed around the train car at the cargo boxes of firearms, grenades, and armor. The train car jostled as Liara climbed up through the train car's door.

"There's another one in that other train car," she said, "but not a third. I'm sorry."

"You're sure?" Shepard whipped around to face her. "You checked the whole thing? It could be a different size."

"I checked too, Shepard." Garrus stood outside the door. "Only two."

"The one in the other car," Shepard said. "Tell me it's the nuke."

Liara dropped her eyes and shook her head. Shepard cursed.

"Must be somewhere else," Garrus's voice said from the doorway. "Shepard, they're working on those doors pretty hard."

"We have to find that nuke," Shepard said.

"They might not even have it, Shepard," Liara said. "The three warheads were all taken from the Shields, but it doesn't mean the planned to use them together."

"The consequences if we don't find it are too steep." Shepard shook her head. She pointed out at the long rows of unrailed train cars under storage. "Liara, Garrus - search as many as you can. Quick."

Liara darted down the train steps and followed Garrus out into the cars. Two train cars mounted on the rail and two bombs, but not the most important one. Shepard turned back to Tali.

"How long?" Shepard asked crouching next to her.

"This?" Tali shook her head. "Hours. And that's with me working on one, and Kaidan on the other at the same time."

"Maybe the other warhead's easier."

"If that one isn't the nuclear one, then it's the same type of bomb as this one."

Shepard stood and paced up the aisle. "If we can't diffuse it …" She stopped and tapped her fingers on the back of a seat. "No, they can't detonate here. Too close to the inhabited part of the city." She concentrated on the rubber floor runner. Her back straightened. "We move them." She shot to the front of the train and stopped in front of the window. "Tali, is that gate functional? The rail under this car and both of these train car - all of that can turn on? This rail connects to the main line?"

Tali's head turned. "What? I'm sure but—"

"We're taking the train cars, both of them, and the bombs."

"Shepard." Tali stood. "This is an active warhead."

"Garrus," Shepard called in the comm. "I need you over here."

Garrus jogged over from the train cars gawking at the sparks and banging coming from the platform's red fire door. He came up the steps, and Shepard rushed to explain the plan. Tali shook her head with folded arms.

Garrus glanced at Tali. "I'm all for risks, Shepard, but Tali's right about the danger. This goes off somewhere under the city, a lot more lives are lost than if they detonated here."

"Garrus," Shepard said. "This is our chance not to lose any lives. It can't go off here, and it can't fall back into their hands. This is the only way we win."

Garrus glanced over at the retractable door to the main rail line. "You take the damnedest risks, Shepard, but I'm behind you. Tell me what to do."

"Let's open those gates."

Garrus tore down the steps.

"Shepard." The comm crackled with Liara's voice. "They're almost through the last door."

"Anything?"

"It's not here, Shepard. I'm sorry."

"Just come back."

Shepard turned to Tali. "Think we have time to move the warheads onto one train car?"

Tali leaned over a seat and stared out the window at the sparks shooting around the red fire door. "I don't think so."

"Tali, how hard is it to drive this? Think you can do it?"

"Shepard," Tali twisted to her. "I've never driven a subway train."

"Can't be hard if Terra Firma can do it. Can you patch in? Control both cars?"

"At the same time? Simultaneously direct their rails? If I'm patching in, they'd need to be right together. I don't know, Shepard."

"The other car can be right behind this one. Look up what you need on your Omni-Tool. We're going to make this happen."

Shepard jumped out of the trains. The fire doors glowed with heat and groaned as some force bared down on them. Shepard rushed to the other train car mounted on the rail.

XXX

"I've patched into both," Tali said. "I'm ready."

"Garrus? Now!" Shepard called.

The retractable door screamed open. Static air rushed over them as the doors widened to a roaring flare of blue light. The main line burned just beyond dancing with wild blue flames, crackling, and flaring through the darkness. Shepard was stumbling back before her mind stopped her. The rail was several train car lengths away. She was a safe distance.

"How are we turning these rails on," Liara asked pointed to the section of rail under the two cars.

"I'll do it from there," Shepard pointed at the control board next to the retracted doors.

"I'll?" Garrus asked jogging up.

"Get in the back train car, Garrus."

"What? Why?"

"Tali," Shepard called, and she appeared at the door of the front train car. "You direct both cars, but Garrus you need to stay with the bomb in the second car."

"You're not coming, Shepard? Then I'm staying."

"No, Garrus. Go with Tali and the bombs." Shepard tilted her head fire door. It gave a metal scream as metal wedged between the door and wall. "They'll follow if they can."

"They're coming through that door, Shepard!" Liara yelled.

"I know. Go, Garrus! Tali, ready?"

"Yes, Shepard."

Garrus clasped Shepard on the shoulder then sprinted to the back car. He gripped the hand rail by the door and swung up inside.

"Message Joker. I'm going to turn on the rail."

Tali nodded and shut the car's door. Shepard raced to the panels by the wall, motioning Liara back, and punched the buttons. Red lights spun over head with a wail of sirens. Thick walls rose up from the floor around the rail way. Liara grabbed Shepard arm as she raced over.

"They're going to follow them, Shepard. They're hearing the sirens right now."

"When Tali shut that door, there weren't any trains sitting at the platform. They'll have to get a train from down the line if they're going to follow."

The platform's fire door gave a metallic scream as the metal wedge burst through the widening crack. Shepard shoved Liara across the open space toward the rows of rail cars and the grate in the drain system they'd come up through. The door burst open as arms and gun barrels shoved through in a roar of voices. They slipped into the rows of rail cars as footsteps rushed through the platform doors behind them.

The rising walls around the two train cars sealed into the roof and the sirens cut off. Boots rushed toward the rail controls. Shepard slowed to watch down the row of cars and lifted her pistol. The room roared in a crackle of energy, and the armed men stood back looking at the walls around the now-live rail.

Hair tickled the back of her neck, and she froze. Her helmet and gauntlets. She'd left them on the train car. At least, she hadn't left them to be found here though.

She ducked her head and looked under the rail cars. The grate was one row over. Shepard motioned Liara to get under the train car and pulled a Shield's pin from her pocket. She chucked it high over the rail cars and heard it slick on the cement some rows over. Forms moved in the distance turning as if to search through the train cars. Shepard slid under the train car and followed Liara into the drain. She snapped the grate back in place and dropped onto the slimy floor of the drain line. She touched her ear still catching her breath.

"Kaidan, James, Miranda …"

Shepard pointed Liara down the drain back the way they'd come in. It was much faster going without wadding in water up to your thigh.

"Shepard." Miranda's voice.

"Where are you?"

"I'll send you coordinates."

Shepard checked the map. It wasn't too far from the manhole they'd used to get into the drain. Shepard raced down the line. Her voiced bounced with her pounding footsteps as she delivered the update.

"So Garrus and Tali are on the train cars. They'll coordinate a pick up along the line with the Alliance via Joker."

There was only silence. The ladder caught in Shepard's bouncing Omni-Tool light. Liara's feet beat on the drain behind her.

"Shepard."

"Kaidan?"

Shepard reached the bottom of the ladder. Voices and scurrying feet picked up volume as she climbed the ladder. The street would be dark now though.

"Kaidan?" she pressed her ear again as she pushed the manhole cover up and scrapped it to the side.

She listened for any reaction in the street - nothing. She checked to make sure Liara was behind her, then peaked up. Only bobbing lights in the distance. The comm crackled in her ear.

"The only path into the transportation tower is the rail line," Kaidan said.

"Not an option. It's active."

"I see that."

"Then find a different way."

Shepard pulled herself up and offered Liara a hand. Liara scanned the darkness as Shepard checked the map again. She motioned down the street.

Kaidan's voice came over the comm again. "The only other way in is through the front door, and that's not happening."

"Listen to me, Kaidan." Shepard slinked along the store fronts. "Tali and Garrus just left. Terra Firma's going to follow them. They didn't have a train at the station's platform last I saw. They'll be sending one from that tower then. Don't get on that rail."

Shepard and Liara stopped at the end of the street and crouched. The bobbing lights were infrequent enough, they could slip through. They just needed to cross the parking lot then to the coordinates. It didn't look like the dogs were around this time. She nodded at Liara, and they shot out into the open keeping close to the ground.

"Shepard," Kaidan said again. "I can shut down the section of rail between the tower and train terminal. They wouldn't be able to send any train cars after Garrus and Tali, and we'd have an access route to the tower."

"Listen." Shepard tried to keep her voice low as the scurried forward. "Garrus and Tali already have a good head start, and we're probably too late for that meeting anyway. We'll find another way."

"It's going to take time to offload two warheads. The control panel to shut down the line is just down the line from the maintenance hatch."

A light passed just ahead, and they froze and sank lower to the ground. They were almost to the parking lot. The hatch was just ahead. The light passed, and they darted forward again.

"Kaidan!" Shepard hissed once the light was far enough away. "Do not get on that rail. This is not a discussion. Now, we're almost there. Just sit tight."

He drew in a jagged breath. His voice had some heat, but he said, "Aye, aye, Commander."


	101. Chapter 101

**Chapter 32**

Shepard and Liara ran close to the ground out from the overhang of the parking garage.

"There they are," Shepard said.

Kaidan, James, and Miranda hunched over a metal hatch cleared of the rubble. Liara and Shepard slid down beside them. The white of their eyes seemed bright in the darkness as they turned to Shepard. Well, James and Miranda's eyes anyway. Kaidan had the hatch cracked open peering inside. A slit of blue light flickered across his face. Shepard grabbed his shoulder. He looked up and dropped the hatch closed.

"What's happening?" Liara asked ducking low as a beam of lights bounced overhead.

Armored men swarmed passed them toward the tower.

"Those men are going to load the train," Kaidan snapped motioning at them, then turned to Shepard. "Shepard, let me do this. Please. It has to be now."

"They're already entering the tower, Kaidan."

"Garrus and Tali need more time. If they get caught … They're under the city, Shepard! Terra Firma has nothing to lose in detonating them if they realize the Alliance is involved."

James watched her with a hard gleam in his eye but didn't say anything. Shepard looked to Miranda, but she picked absently at the chips of rubble by her feet and didn't look up. Shepard's eyes shifted back to Kaidan. He stared at her unblinking and waiting.

"Fine," Shepard hissed.

Kaidan lifted the hatch. Light blazed out, and James scrambled to block it. His hand snared the corner of the hatch and prevented it from banging closed as Kaidan dropped down inside. In the distance, the mass of armored men disappeared into through the tower's front doors. The hatch creaked as James lowered it. Shepard caught the edge.

"Keep it cracked. If a train comes, we'll need out fast."

Shepard threw the hatch open in a burst of light.

Miranda grabbed her arm. "Shepard, no."

Shepard wrenched her arm away, and Liara scrambled over.

"I'll go," she said.

"Stay here. If something happens, finish the mission."

Shepard lowered the hatch and hurried down the ladder. Her skin prickled, blue light blinding her, as her feet finally hit the ledge. She staggered against the wall grabbing for hand holds that weren't there. Her blood pulsed with the roar of the rail. It burned down the center of the tunnel, suspending above the tunnel floor, and level with her feet. Shepard pressed against the wall and steadied her footing on the narrow outcropping. A light moved along the wall to her left in the direction of the tower. The control panel he needed to access was much further from the ladder than she expected.

She shuffled forward, one foot at a time on the narrow ledge. The other side of the tunnel didn't even have that much space. The outcrop must only exist for the maintenance workers accessing the rail then. Her hand found a thin metal railing along the wall as she moved ahead.

The light in front of her stopped. It flashed her direction. It only blinded her for a moment before it lowered. A metal sheet caught the light as it flew out and clattered against the rail in a shower of sparks - the rail's control panel cover, no doubt. It spun on the gravel under the rail line, metal and not vaporized. Kaidan hunched over an open panel. His boots barely fit sideways on an indented space in the wall.

"Shepard. What are you doing?" He glanced up as she neared.

She shuffled into the indent beside him and crouched down. Light from her Omni-Tool shined into the control panel.

"Keep going," she said.

Kaidan's eyebrows pinched deeper above a sharp-eyed frown, but he cut his eyes away and grappled with wires inside the panel. Hair rose on Shepard's arm as gravel clicked and rolled beneath the track. Shepard leaned in closer beside him. Kaidan's eyes darted over his shoulder at the track and breath hissed through his teeth. He tore through his Omni-Tool screens. Static brushed over them like a chill. A crackling wind came down the dark tunnel. Shepard squinted in the direction of the tower as strands of hair lifted around her face. She spun back to Kaidan.

"What can I do?" she asked.

"Nothing."

His boots scrapped to keep on the ledge as he reached into the panel up to his shoulder. His face scrunched manipulating something inside. The rail flared behind a surge of energy whooshing down the track. It passed them leaving the tunnel ablaze with wild blue flames crackling on the rail line. A voice spoke in Shepard's comm through a burning static. She touched her ear.

"What?" she said.

Kaidan glanced down the line. He exhaled sharply and spun back to his Omni-Tool screen. His hair swayed on his head like being underwater.

"James?" Shepard said.

"Shep—" It broke up. Interference from the rail.

Gravel shook across the tunnel floor. The tunnel burst with light as the rail glowed brighter.

"Shep—" The comm cut with static. "I think—Shep—" Shepard pressed the comm tighter into her ear. "Train."

A pinprick of light appeared down the tunnel. Kaidan's head whipped to Shepard.

"Shepard! Run!"

His fingers flew across the screen. Shadows lengthened as the cement wall shivered with a growing light. Shepard knelt in closer to see the screen. Kaidan tore down the scrolling screen and jammed the last button. The rail's blue light flashed and went out.

Metal on metal screamed from down the tunnel as a distant blue light grew bright. The rail was off, but the train still had momentum. Mass effect fields flared beneath it. Kaidan shoved Shepard toward the ledge walkway. The train slowed losing momentum, but not fast enough. The manhole was too far away. He had to know that.

Shepard spun, grabbing Kaidan's shoulders, and pulled him after her onto the dead metal tracks. A blue barrier wrapped out around them, and she drove him down under the rail. A familiar energy wove through her barrier as she pressed him into the gravel. It fused and hardened as she panted into this face. Lights glinted in the white of his eyes, and he gave her a weak smile. She touched his jaw and ran a thumb down his cheek. His breath caught. And it hit them.

Energy slammed into them. It punched her breath out, burned her eyesight, and exploded through her head. An inferno roared overhead. The barrier ripped and tore sending shivers through her bones. Her teeth clenched as she tried to draw air against the weight and roar. The barrier fractured, strands breaking and snapping under the strain. Fire burned into her skin, and her core exploded with lightening. Kaidan shivered beneath her, and she rose against his chest as he drew in a deep breath. The barrier brightened, and the fire left her skin scalded and stinging. She sucked at the vacuum, lungs expanding, and finally gulped air.

The train was grinding to a stop overhead, and their barrier dimmed against the storm of energy. Shepard's teeth chattered, and she clenched down on her breath. Her energy flared through the barrier, and Kaidan took another deep breath beneath her. Strands of his energy strained to reach hers. They curled and knit together but snapped just as quickly. His threats frayed and started to dim away. She grasped for them as the barrier corroded around them. His body trembled, breathing slowed.

Shepard squeezed her eyes shut, drew sharp breath, and shoved back with the barrier. Hard. The barrier snapped outward. The storm lifted from the rail like the leap in a skip. A long shriek screamed over their heads and the ground heaved under them. Air churned and exploded around them, metal bursting and grinding. The blue fire overhead lifted and pressure released with thunderous ripping, snapping, popping, exploding. Then it stilled.

Shepard gasped and opened her eyes into swirling dust. The rail above their heads curled up like a snapped ribbon. The underside of a train car sparked and hissed with blue flashes as it teetered above. It ground against the wall bearing down on them as the rail slowly twisted aside with a screech. Kaidan's head lulled to the side. His eyes cracked open, and he sucked in a breath.

"Kaidan, we need to get up!"

The rail groaned. Flecks of cement sprinkled down on them from the wall as the train car slipped. Shepard squeezed Kaidan's shoulder, but his eyes strayed closed.

"Kaidan."

She got to her knees. The back of her armor snapped and broke. A piece cut into her shoulder as her back straightened. The train was derailed. Train cars toppled over each other, broken and tossed, and sending sparks into the air. A fire burned down the line toward the train station. The car creaked overhead and skipped against the wall in a burst of cement chips.

Shepard grabbed Kaidan's face between her hands. He blinked up at her with hooded eyes as if trying to focus. His throat moved in a swallow, and he released a slow breath.

"Are you okay?" he said.

"This car is pushing the rail aside. It'll pin us. Let's go."

Gravel fell off his skin as he struggled to sit up with shaky arms. The train dropped against the wall a space. Shepard grabbed his arm and hauled him up into a crouch. The rail protested with a low whine and the train car slipped. Shepard pushed Kaidan forward as the metal shivered above. It smashed down in with a loud clap as they scuttled out from underneath.

The unbroken rail ahead was doing a much better job of keeping the train cars settled. Shepard got to her feet in the empty space opposite a leaning train car. Kaidan sat on his knees and pinched the bridge of his nose. Shepard put down a wavery hand and hauled him up. They stumbled against each other.

"I was afraid I'd pass out," he said. "Drop the barrier."

"Let's get back from this split rail." Shepard weaved down the rail line the other direction from the burning cars. "Grenades or something must have started that fire at the head of the train. We need to—"

A loud metal pop and voices came from ahead. They ducked to the side around the cover of an overturned car. They were near the end of the train.

"Someone's opening that train car's door," Kaidan whispered.

Shepard narrowed her eyes against the gathering smoke and heavy dust. The last train car's side door moaned and burst open. Men pulled piled out dressed in mismatched armor, helmeted, with rifles slung across their backs. Shepard's armor creaked and snapped as she hunched counting them. It was a whole company dropping to the gravel.

"Should we go back for the others?" Kaidan whispered and looked behind them, down the way they'd come.

"There's no going that direction with the fire still burning. We need to get to the tower."

"Still? It'll be too late."

"I've been to enough meetings to have some faith in just how long they can be."

"Even with your train being derailed and your warheads taken?"

"It's the unreconstructed part of the city. Until they've investigated it, what do they know? Untimely rail failure."

"Very untimely," Kaidan said. "They're searching the wreckage, not paying attention. Let's get a jump on them."

"How're you feeling?"

His eyes flicked to hers. "Honestly? Not a hundred percent here, Shepard."

"Yeah, me neither."

"I'm ready though." He drew his pistol. "What do you want to do?"

Shepard checked the clip on her pistol and popped it back in. Her armor belt had extra clips, and she handed him one with a smile.

"Our train wreck's missing a few casualties, don't you think?"

Kaidan tucked the clip away. "Let's beat the morning news then."

Shepard peeked around the corner of the train car. Smoky shapes argued by the far car while others picked around the wreckage.

"Okay," Shepard turned back to Kaidan. "We get a little closer, you'll overload their weapons."

"Not a dozen at a time."

"Yeah, I know that. Listen," Shepard said. "I'll provide cover. Get to the end of that car. You see there?"

Kaidan leaned past her. "Yeah."

"Okay. It's angled enough, it should provide cover. Close enough for overload. We use weapons and tech."

"You?"

"I'll draw their fire. Just be quick, get around the corner, and down the line. Barriers are probably out for us. But I have armor and you don't, so be careful."

"Don't count on that armor, Shepard. It's crumbling, and you don't have a helmet."

"Just a little broken in. Now, get ready."

Shepard gripped her pistol with both hands to keep it steady and held it up to her chest. The gravel scrunched under Kaidan's boots as he readied himself in a runner's stance.

"Ready?" Shepard looked around the corner. "Go!"

She spun out. Kaidan dashed her and hugged close to the underside of the tipped over train cars. Helmets whipped toward her, and she fired. They raised their rifles as she closed in dodged side to side. A bullet glanced off her side with a crack. She fired a return volley, and snapping in a new clip, darted after Kaidan as he scrambled up behind the train car. He reached out, Omni-Tool glowing, while still returning fire. Rifle shots slowed mixing with empty clicks, heat alerts, and cursing. Metal flakes sprayed at the edge of the train car. The gravel burst under bullet fire. Shepard shuffled up against him tamping down the jittery weak feeling in her legs.

"Ready?" she said.

He nodded. They spun around the corner. Guards shook their rifles trying the triggers, and a few pulled pistols instead. One near the back dropped his rifle and turned on his Omni-Tool. Shepard shot him. Two more with jammed guns seemed to get the same idea and apparently had tech training. They reached out with glowing Omni-Tools, and Shepard's pistol jammed. She looped up to them through the debris. Bullets glanced off the train cars as she darted to the side.

A guard swung from around the corner of a train car. His Omni-blade just missed her face as she stumbled back and stamped him in the chest with her boot. A gun reached over her shoulder pointed at the man and fired. His helmet split, and Kaidan pulled the trigger again before shoving him over.

"Grenade!" Shepard flashed a biotic shield.

Her vision burst with white light, ear ringing, and she tripped to her knees. She dug into the gravel and scrambled to her feet still seeing spots. She followed Kaidan to the cover of another train car. He grabbed her shoulder and wrenched her to face him.

"Don't push the biotics, Shepard. You'll pass out."

"Better than dying, right?" She pulled away.

They ducked under a hail of gunfire and pressed back against the train car. Flashes of light still colored her vision, and when she looked over, Kaidan was staring at her. His fingertips brushed the skin above her lips, and he held them out for her to see. Red. She touched her nose. He gave her a significant look and a nod before firing around the corner. Shepard clutched the underside of the train car, blinking fast, and trying to clear the dizzying swirl of lights.

"Incoming!" Kaidan yelled

Shepard's back snapped straight, and she raised her pistol. Three guards spun around the corner, Kaidan shot one in the neck and frosted the other with his Omni-Tool. The third dodged Shepard's wobbly shot and raised a pistol at her chest. Blue flashed as the gun shot echoed in her ears. Kaidan dropped his hand, blue fading off his skin, and kicked the man back. Shepard steadied her gun and fired. The man cartwheeled back. Shepard shot him twice more. Kaidan shot the last man as he broke free from the frost. Kaidan turned back to Shepard whipping his nose.

"We can't stay here," he said. "They're setting up a turret. The ones in the back took off toward the tower."

Blood smeared the side of his finger. He frowned down at it and shook his head.

"You're the only one I've ever seen do that, Kaidan."

Hundreds of biotics, years in the military, time with asari matriarchs and justicars - no one else batted aside bullets when their biotics got strained. You have to be as faster than the trigger. He sagged against the train car, and she leaned around him. A turret raised its head, and she fired at it. An engineer raised his rifle and fired. Shepard ducked back.

"We're going to be pinned," Shepard said. "You all right?"

He nodded, eyes still a little unfocused, but color returning to his face. He pushed away from the train car on wobbly feet. Hers didn't feel much better. The turret clicked on.

"Let's go!"

Shepard dashed back the way they'd come. Smoke thickened as rushed away under a rhythmic hail of bullets. Shepard shoved Kaidan out of the way of a grenade, and they fell down around a train car as gravel and shrapnel exploded into the air. They continued back toward the front of the train, and Shepard twisted to check but Kaidan was still on her heels. The fire was dying down in the cars far ahead. Shepard covered her face against the smoke and slowed as they reached the broken rail. Just past the indented platform, it curled up on each side across a gap.

"Kaidan, the control panel!" She pointed at the indent in the wall.

They climbed up onto a turned over train car. Their feet banged across its metal side toward the indent in the wall with the control panel. Kaidan leaped onto the indented platform in the wall and pulled up his Omni-Tool.

"Turn it back on," she said jumping onto the ledge next to him.

Kaidan smiled. "Thought so."

He hunched down and reached into the panel. No one appeared to be pursuing them. The smoke was too thick to make much out. Probably all on their way back to the tower. Once the rail turned back on, no one was getting back to pick she and Kaidan out of a line-up. Shepard tapped her pistol against her thigh and kept her eyes fixed in their direction.

Gravel scattered against cement and voices behind her. She whipped around, stepped over Kaidan, and raised her pistol shakily in both hands. It sounded like running footsteps, a group. Guards from the train station had finally made it past the fire at the head of the train then. Voices echoed louder. Indistinct.

Kaidan flipped a switch inside the panel. Static crackled through the air. He held his Omni-Tool up and scrolled down the screen.

"Almost there," Kaidan muttered.

Movement caught Shepard's eye. Silhouettes ran toward them around the smoldering train cars. Shepard squinted. It wasn't a company of guards. They were unarmored. Three figures …

Shepard spun around. "Kaidan, stop! NO!"

Blue flashed in a static explosion on the rail beside her. It burned in her eyes up the length of the tunnel as her skin stung and prickled with the roar. She staggered sideways against the wall covering her mouth. Blue flames crackled on the rails behind Kaidan as he stood with a pinched brow.

"Shepard?"

She gasped into her hand, shaking her head, and squeezing her eyes shut. Hands tightened on her shoulders, and his breath stirred the air against her face.

"What's going on?" he said, his voice close to her face. "Is it biotic fatigue?"

She squeezed her eyes tighter and shook her head again.

"Shepard?" he repeated.

"Shepard?" another voice said.

Shepard's eyes sprung open. Someone touched her ankle, and she looked down. Kaidan's hands fell away as Shepard spun around. Liara pulled herself up onto the narrow ledge and put a hand on Shepard's arm as she stood frozen staring at them. Miranda and James jogged up along the dark, dead metal rail. She followed it with her eyes to where it curled up in a dead metal loop across from the curled end of the burning blue rail. In the side of her vision, she could see Kaidan watching her and following her eyes. He put a hand on her back.

"It's all right," he said in a low voice.

"I thought …"

He gave a small half-smile and dropped his hand away. Shepard looked over her shoulder meeting Liara's big blue eyes. She squeezed Shepard's arm, and the armor crunched. A piece came away in Liara's hand. She stared wide eyed, mouth dropping open.

"Oh, Goddess. I'm so sorry."

She tried to pressed it back into place, but Shepard grabbed it and tossed it down on the rails.

"You're not that strong," Shepard said. "Just wish it had a warranty."

"Lola and L2. Alive." James put a hand against the tunnel wall and looked up at them.

"We heard gunshots," Liara said. "It let us hoped you were both still alive."

The air lifted with a static breeze and the rail flared brighter. Shepard snapped her head around to Kaidan.

"Turn the rail off. Quick."

He gave a sharp nod and dropped down next to the control panel. The screens on his Omni-Tool flashes fast under his darting fingers.

"They're sending another train?" Miranda asked moving around James to gaze down the tunnel.

"Hope not," James said. "We're on the speed bump."

"It feels like a train," Shepard said.

Kaidan moved through a screen on his Omni-Tool and glanced up. "There may have already been one the line behind this one."

"And it's rolling again?" Shepard asked putting a hand against the wall and staring down at him. "How long?"

He flipped something in the control panel, scrolled down his screen, and punched a button. The rail's blue light flashed out. A blue streak overlay the rest of her vision as she blinked in the tunnel's dim emergency lights.

"Fast," she said.

"Practiced," he said and stood.

Shepard bent and dropped off the ledge landing next to James.

"How was that tower looking?" she asked them. "Any drop in guard number? Shuttles leave?"

"Nada," James said.

"Then, if it's still worth getting to that tower," Shepard said, "we need to go now. Let's move out."

Kaidan and Liara hopped down from the ledge, and Shepard lead the way down the track toward the tower. They passed the last train car. The only evidence of their fight was the broken turret and some bits and pieces of armor, a few charred rifles crumbling apart.

"The guys you played with," James said, "they really get vaporized?"

"You don't see them, do you?" Shepard said.

"Uh, right."

They slowed as a gray outline appeared stopped on the tracks ahead.

"There was another train," Shepard said.

It stood silent and dark as they approached.

"Well, unless we're army crawling on our elbows under the rail, we're walking through it," Shepard said.

Shepard climbed up on the first car and broke through the side door.

"Where is everyone?" Liara asked.

"The train stopped the first time," Kaidan said, "they probably got out to check things out. Then the rail came back on."

James chuckled loading up into the first train car behind Kaidan. "Think the train ran over the ones hanging around in front?"

"More likely vaporized by the mass effect fields first," Liara said climbing up.

Shepard waited for everyone to get through the door then picked her way down the center aisle of the cars. She swung her gun back and forth through each new car, but nothing stirred. Benches lined the aisle, and Shepard ducked under the handholds looping down from the ceiling. She stepped over a pair of dead guards. They looked like wounded that the other train may have drug back and then left. She entered the last car and held up a hand.

"Get down! Back!"

Everyone ducked and scrambled back between the benches.

"Armed guards incoming," Shepard said. "Meters off. Less than a dozen."

"About time." James lifted his pistol.

Miranda scooted forward and drew her gun. "Action then."

In the back of the train car, Kaidan shifted and looked back down the aisle at something.

"Shepard," he whispered.

Shepard adjusted her shaky grip on the pistol. "What, Kaidan?"

"I have a different idea."

"What? No, hombre. Don't do this to me," James said. "You got some fun in, but I've got nothing."

Kaidan shot James a hard look. James fell silent. Kaidan turned back to Shepard.

"Shepard. Gunfire this close to the tower will only draw more. We'll never get there. James and Miranda aren't armored for this. We don't have the clips."

Miranda sighed and tapped the butt of her pistol on the commuter's bench but didn't say anything. Liara sat silently on her heels waiting.

"Your plan?" Shepard asked.

She darted a look over the rim of the back window. The guards were closer but still checking something on the rail. Maybe they were trying to figure out what happened. Shepard turned back to Kaidan.

He hunched over the two bodies Shepard had stepped over earlier. Shepard scuttled closer keeping low. A helmet seal clicked, and Kaidan twisted on his knee lofting up one of the guard's helmets. He tossed it to Shepard in a shallow arch. She caught it.

"You and me," Kaidan said turning back to the other body. "Sorry, James. Only two helmets."


	102. Chapter 102

**Chapter 33**

Kaidan leaped from the train car into the gravel on the tracks behind the train. Shepard crunched down behind him. The armor rubbed his skin wrong, not a good fit and cheaply made, but it would work for what they needed. The guards on the line looked up as Shepard and Kaidan raced up to them.

"Hold up! Hold up!" a voice boomed in the back.

Rifles raised and gravel scattered under the guards' boots as they spread out into a line. Shepard glanced through the helmet's plexiglass at Kaidan. Kaidan edged a step ahead of her.

"Shield agents. Down the line," he said in a purposefully breathless voice.

"What?" A tall guard with the booming voice forward through the line of men. "The rail came back on. They're still alive on the rail?"

Kaidan's mind whirled. Between the biotic fatigue and the beginning of a migraine, he wasn't in top form for this sort of thing.

"Yes," Kaidan said simply. He tried to infuse it with some conviction.

The lead guard turned to one of his men. He'd seemed to accept it. Kaidan shifted as the chest piece dug in under his arms. He buried the itch to adjust it and glanced at Shepard. Her hand strayed to the punched-in hole below the collar on her breast plate. She drew her hand back quickly though and stood taller. None of the guards seemed to noticed the move. It still made him guilty - the flinch he'd gotten ramming the butt of his pistol against the N7. The condition of her crumbling armor had completely slipped his mind. His first strike went right through. Shepard hung back a step. Broken armor made sense from their supposed tangle with the Shields, but the pockmarked back might invite more questions. It had been either taking the helmet with her same suit, or James using the man's entire armor and the helmet. There'd been no question which way that was going.

"How'd the Shields survive the rail coming back up?" one of the guards asked.

The lead guard stopped mid-conversation and eyes Kaidan as he waited for the answer.

"The rail's broken," Kaidan said. "Only this side came back on. We're tried to slow them, but they went the other way toward the terminal."

"Come with us. You'll show us," the lead guard said. He found one of the guards at the back and tipped his head back toward the tower. "Go back. Get the others."

"Our group's straight ahead past this train, past the break in the rail. They'll show you," Kaidan said.

"What're you doing then if you're not coming back?" The man looked back and forth between him and Shepard.

"Sir." Shepard took a step forward addressing Kaidan. "We have to get that information to Mr. Tobin right away."

The lead guard frowned but finally sighed. "Fine, but one of you stays with us. It doesn't take two to deliver a message. Show us where your group's holed up."

Kaidan hesitated. "Of course."

"Where can I find Mr. Tobin?" Shepard asked the lead guard.

"Fourteenth," he said.

"Go ahead," Kaidan nodded to her. "I'll stay with them."

"Aye, aye, sir." She skipped off, keeping her back to the side wall, and cast a long look back at Kaidan.

The guard leader's eyes narrowed through the helmet's plexiglass as he watched Shepard go. He tapped the butt of his rifle and twisted to Kaidan.

"Sounded military," he said.

"Ah." Kaidan swallowed, feeling a little sweaty in the armor, and waved a hand in her direction. "Used to be Alliance."

"Huh." The helmet swiveled back to watch Shepard.

She was far enough down the line the light should be too dim to see the burns over her back. The man shrugged turning back and waved at Kaidan to lead them forward. As Kaidan turned away from her, he could see Shepard slow and turn on her heels in the distance. Kaidan lead them forward walking abreast with the lead guard.

They reached the steps up the train car. Kaidan moved aside to the lead guard go first, but he motioned inviting Kaidan to lead ahead. With a quick head bob, Kaidan grabbed the hand rail and pulled himself up into the train car.

He marched down the aisle counting to the pairs of boot steps stepping up into the train car. His finger tightened on the trigger of his pistol as the numbers grew, and he moved down the aisle. A flicker of movement caught Kaidan's eye to a bench ahead of him. He met Miranda's eyes as she pressed low to the floor by the seat. The eighth set of boots clomped up the stairs. Kaidan tipped his head back to the line follow him, and Miranda nodded. She motioned to James and Liara in the seats he's already passed. Kaidan stopped and turned. He raised his pistol and fired.

Gunfire erupted around the car as James and Miranda rose from the benches. Liara threw a man against the back wall. Shepard rushed up the steps leveling her own gun. The guards lay bloody puddles as Kaidan shoved his pistol away.

"Taken hostage, L2?"

A grin spread across James's face as he pulling a rifle out of the hands of a fallen guard. Miranda stood up from a seat oozing fluff from bullet holes.

"Single file line-up and surrounded? Hardly seemed sportsman-like," Miranda said.

"Just glad you remembered what my armor looked like," Kaidan said.

He lifted a pistol and clips off one of the guards and threw them to Miranda.

"No women," Miranda sighed looking around at the bodies. "This group doesn't practice affirmative action."

"Shepard, you okay with your armor?" Kaidan hesitated.

"Yeah. This is working. Let's go."

Kaidan picked his way around the bodies. Liara stood up from a body and shoved two rifles at him. He tossed one to Shepard and gave Liara a quick nod.

"So, uh … keep 'em coming." James grinned.

He aimed his rifle at the train's ceiling fired a burst of bullets into the air. Miranda fired three pistols shots into the floor.

"There," she said. "Draw more in. The action continues."

"You're on your own with the next wave," Kaidan said.

"No problem," James said. "Didn't need to come back for this one, except they had you by the balls, L2."

"Fifteen minutes," Shepard said. "Then head back. They send men from the direction of the train station, you'll be trapped. Get to the extraction site, meet Joker."

"Got it," Liara said.

"And it will be men they send," Miranda mused firing a few more shots into the floor. "Sexist organization."

James picked at one of the dead men's armor. "This could fit."

Shepard hopped off the train car steps.

"Don't forget the kid," Kaidan said pointing at James before he leaped down behind her.

They darted down the tunnel. Light brightened ahead of them as they neared the tower's train platform. It swarmed with guards and people in street clothes moving boxes and putting on armor. A warehouse crowded with trains stood at the very end of the line just beyond the platform.

Kaidan and Shepard rushed up the dead rail to the edge of the platform. Shepard crawled up with Kaidan just behind her. Kaidan gawked around them as he pushed to his feet. Another train was already waiting further down the platform. Optimistically, guards were loading inside. Control panels along the wall were torn apart exposing wires and blinking buttons. Omni-tools glowed on the arms of three men in street clothes as they huddled around the panels. Probably engineers. Guards charged over to Kaidan and Shepard as shots echoed through the tunnel behind them.

"What's happening?" a guard demanded.

"We've got them pinned down past the train," Shepard said.

The guard eyed Shepard first and then Kaidan. "Why'd you come back?"

"Important information to deliver up top," Kaidan said.

"Both of you?"

"I need to talk to Tobin," Kaidan said. "She's getting off on the ground floor. Needs to wrangle the engineers at the station. Get the rail working on that end. We'll have them pinned that way."

"Who's them?"

"The Shields," Shepard said.

"The Shields?" The guard barked orders at the others and waved the men out of the train. "We haven't been able to raise anyone on the radio."

"Still getting transient charge interference off the rail line. They're pretty deep in the tunnel," Kaidan said. "But they sent us back so we could tell you. We've got to keep going though."

"Of course, of course. You three, over here, and you! Come with me." The man darted around them gathering an armed group, presumably to head down the tunnel.

Kaidan moved through the crowd to the elevator. The bickering voices of the men crowded around the control panels drew his eye. His feet slowed.

"Damnit," he hissed to Shepard.

Shepard leaned into him keeping her voice low. "Can they reactivate it from here?"

"Possible," Kaidan said under his breath.

There was a single elevator, and Kaidan watched the digital numbers count down above the elevator doors. He kept the engineers in the side of his vision as armed men rushed around them - three of them and no one seemed to be in charge of them. The engineer nearest them had the X-Tavig program running. His fingers spread across the control panel and lingered on the rail's traction coupler. Shepard tapped her fingers on the butt of her rifle and paced next to him watching the elevator doors.

"No one noticed that only men went into the tunnel, but a woman came out," Shepard said quietly.

"Just be glad no one's putting it together," Kaidan murmured. He eyed her through the glass of his helmet. "If that rail turns on …"

"Think these guys'll figure it out in the next fifteen minutes? They haven't so far."

"We need more than fifteen minutes." Kaidan shifted. "Less than fifteen minutes, they die in a train crash. Twenty, thirty minutes - they're vaporized on the rail as they're retreating."

"What do we do about it?" Shepard tapped her foot.

The engineer with the X-Tavig program touched his comm. "Get those damn soldiers off the rail. We're getting this rail back up, and we're not waiting. Got hundreds here we need to move out."

Shepard studied the engineers with narrowed eyes. Kaidan gripped the rifle tighter, but he wouldn't get away with anything here, even in this chaos with no one in charge, guards running on and off the train, jumping down onto the track, radioing, and shouting. The elevator chimed.

"It's here," Kaidan said.

The elevator doors slid open. Five guards burst out the door with rifles clutched to their chest. One yelled out orders as he cleared the elevator and waved at the men waiting on the rail line. Kaidan caught the elevator door before it closed and turned to Shepard. Her eyes were fixed on the engineers.

"Shep—"

"Hey," Shepard called to the engineers taking a step forward. "We need all of you. Right now. Up to the fourteenth. Mister Tobin's orders."

The engineer who'd used his comm turned to her. "What?" His eyes looked her up and down with a growing smirk. "Who're you?"

Tattered armor crumbling away in the back probably wasn't the best sign of authority. Kaidan stepped up beside her.

"Right now! All of you. It's an emergency." Kaidan rushed back to the elevator and caught the doors again. "Now!"

Shepard nodded and waved. "Come on! Come on!"

Two of the engineers stood and turned off their Omni-Tools. The third one with the fading smirk just stared at them. Shepard strode over and hauled him up by the arm.

"Let's go."

She shoved him into the elevator behind the other two. Kaidan stepped in beside her, slinging the rifle over his back, and keeping his hand near the pistol at his side. She jammed the elevator button for the fourteen floor.

"What's this about?" said the engineer Shepard had manhandled into the elevator. "What's Tobin want with us?"

"If I knew, I would have said," Shepard snapped.

The other two engineers seemed less concerned. One leaned against the wall with arms crossed, while the other studied something on his Omni-Tool. The third one though - the one that had been running the right program and hassling Shepard - he looked them straight in the eye. His eyes strayed to Kaidan's hand on the pistol. The elevator slowed to a stop, and Shepard bumped Kaidan's elbow nodding up at the floor number. They were stopping on the ground floor.

"Who are you?" the engineer continued to press. "You seem like an odd pair. And you, what happened to your armor?"

The elevator doors slid apart. A man in a suit and tie with three armored guards stepped in. He reached to the floor buttons and paused with his finger over the glowing fourteen. He drew his hand back with a frown and glanced over his shoulder at Kaidan. The squinty, little eyes under those bushy eyebrows and that bulbous nose - it was Sten Harper. They'd nearly cornered in the raid outside Prague before the city sirens went off. The metalic doors slid closed and the elevator began to move again.

Harper's bald head glinted in the elevator light as he turned to them. "You're going to fourteen?"

"Yes, sir," Kaidan said.

Harper eyed the engineers. "Why?"

The fussy engineer answered. "Agent Tobin needs us, apparently."

"Really?" Harper's furry eyebrows rose and he hit the stop button on the elevator. "Identification, everyone."

Harper motioned to the guards with him, and they turned on their Omni-Tool's blue light. The engineers dug around in their pockets, and Shepard reached into the utility belt on her waist. Kaidan's pulse quickened. He hadn't told her about the blue light, to not use her ID card. He eyed the rifles as his fingers felt the two cards in his pocket, the ones he'd taken off the bodies at the theater. Neither would be female, but one had an androgynous name, if he remembered right. Jamie or something. The guards waved the blue light over the engineer's cards, and Shepard held her ID card out between her fingertips.

"What happened to your armor?" Harper asked pointing to the widening cracks up her forearm.

"Down on the rail, sir," Shepard said.

A guard wedged around the engineers to Kaidan and Shepard and reached out for her ID. Kaidan stepped to the side as if making space.

Harper frowned. "But the rail—"

Kaidan stumbled against Shepard stripping the card from her hand. It slapped onto the floor as she tripped over a step to regain her balance. She sank to the floor fumbling for it.

"Sorry. Here." He bent down.

The dropped ID card was already curled in palm before he caught her eye. He twisted a new card out in his fingertips, but shadows moved over them watching. They stood.

"Here. Sorry again. "Kaidan thrust her the new ID card.

The guard sighed and waited as Shepard grasped it in one hand while clenching the old ID in her other hand. Shepard's brow pinched as she looked down at the card as she extended it. Her thumb slipped over the picture. The nosey engineer leaned in closer as it fluoresced under the guard's blue light. Kaidan released a tight breath and held out his own card. The guard nodded when it fluoresced. The engineer shoved the guard aside and snatched the card from Shepard's hand.

"Jason?" he said.

"What?" Harper frowned.

"This card says her name is 'Jason.'"

Harper snatched it away. Shepard's looked sideways at Kaidan from the very edge of the helmet's plexiglass. He cleared his throat.

"We must have mixed our cards up when yours dropped." Kaidan thrust his own card into Shepard's hand. With a helmet on, he may get away with another man's picture, but Shepard wouldn't. Even with the name fixed, any real scrutiny and they'd have problems.

The engineer lunged for the card, but Shepard elbowed him back.

"Give it here," Harper said and put out his hand.

She let the engineer snap it out of her fingertips. Ice glinted in Harper's eyes as he looked between them. The engineer turned the card over and looked at the picture. One of the guards stepped in to see while clutching the rifle higher on his chest. Kaidan's hand strayed to his pistol.

"Alice Wester," Shepard said.

The engineer lowered the card. "Oh."

Alice Wester? Kaidan frowned. His eyes flickered to her hand hanging at her side. She let a card peek through her fingers and glanced at him before curling her hand around it again. She'd given them her first card with the real picture. As far as everyone in the elevator knew, it had passed the blue light test when Kaidan had held it out. He stifled a grin watching her out of the corner of his eye.

Harper punched the elevator button, and it moved again as he turned back to the door.

"We still don't know if this is her," the engineer said. "Take your helmet off."

The elevator chimed on the fourteenth floor and the doors opened. A long hallway still under reconstruction stretched in front of them. Two guards, a man and woman, stood mid-way down the hall slouching against the wall. Kaidan squinted to make out the subtle sheen of their kinetic shields, but couldn't see anything. Getting a little complacent on the fourteenth floor, apparently.

One of Harper's guards held the elevator door but didn't let anyone pass. Harper turned to Shepard expectantly.

"Well?" the engineer asked.

The two engineers in the back peeked between the guards at the hall but stayed against the back of the elevator.

Kaidan shook his head. "This is unnecessary. We need to talk to—"

"No," Harper said folding his arms. "You can do your business in a second. Let's clear this all up. You, Wester, remove your helmet like Smith suggested."

Harper must know the engineer then. That explained some of it. Maybe they'd worked together before. The engineer tapped Shepard's ID card in his palm and grinned. Shepard reached up to her helmet and twisted it with a click. Her hair fell out as she lifted the helmet off and tucked it under her arm as she always did.

The engineer held the card up with a critical eye. He shrugged. He held it out for Harper to compare, but Harper was staring at Shepard. His folded arms loosened and then dropping to his side with wide eyes.

He stumbled back. "It's Command—"

Shepard lurched forward and struck him in the mouth. Kaidan flare blue and yanked the two hallway guards into the elevator with a blue burst. They slammed into the backs of the Harper's guards standing in the elevator's doorway with raising rifles. The guards smashed into Kaidan, and they tumbled into a heap against the back wall. A scream squeaked from Harper's mouth as Shepard grabbed him by the jaw and threw him back onto the pile of squirming bodies. She slapped the elevator's close button. A guard reached out to stop the door, but Shepard stomped on his arm with a loud crunch. He wailed as the doors slid shut.

Bodies strained against each other, shoving and grappling to get upright. A shot fired from somewhere in the jumbled heap, but no one cried out. Kaidan pushed himself up against the wall and reached out with his Omni-Tool glowing. Guns clicked and heat sinks blinked. A hand grasped his leg. With a flash, it stiffened with frost, and Kaidan pulled free.

The two engineers standing wide eyed against the wall groped with their Omni-Tools. Shepard rammed the back of her arm across their throats and tossed them onto pile of moving bodies. The third engineer with Shepard's ID card slunk against the wall and reached to the floor buttons. Shepard slammed him into the wall with her shoulder.

Guards struggled to their feet clawing at Kaidan. One of them flashed with a crust frost sealing his eyes. He froze in place pinning the guard under him. The pinned guard flailed as Kaidan clutched his helmet in both hands. He wrenched the head sideways with a pop.

The elevator began to move. Kaidan twisted and smashed a fist into the guard pressing the floor numbers. The strike broke through the man's plexiglass face shield, and he crumpled against the wall. The elevator number overhead read twelve. Kaidan jammed the same number on the floor key, and the elevator chimed coming to a stop. The doors slid open and bodies flapped out onto the broken linoleum of a dark hallway.

Harper clawed out of the elevator and tore to his feet. He touched something in his ear. Kaidan stumbled over a guard in the elevator doorway, but Harper was already halfway down the hall.

"This is—"

A flying helmet took him in the back of the head. He slammed face-first into the floor as Shepard's helmet spun around on the linoleum next to him. She leaped over the elevator's pile of bodies as he pushed up on his hands. He reached for his ear, and Shepard grabbed him by the back of the head. The Omni-blade went clear through his chest in a blood spray. She dropped him and turned back to Kaidan panting. He could hardly see her through the light flashing across his vision. The room spun, and he grappled for the elevator wall. He fell down against the wall with a heavy thud as footsteps beat over to him. He blinked frantically at the oil darkening his vision as pain exploded through his head.

"You okay?" It sounded fuzzy, distant.

 

* * *

 

Kaidan stared up at a metal ceiling. He drew in a sharp breath and sat up slowly. The world twirled under him, and he felt for the wall. He slid back against it and resting his head. A helmet - his helmet - sat on the floor beside him. He was in an elevator.

"Kaidan!" Shepard's voice.

The body of a guard propped open the elevator doors in front of him. Kaidan lifted his head and squinted past the body down the dark hallway – broken linoleum, ripped walls, insulation spilling out of charred drywall. Shepard dropped a pair of armored legs with a clunk. Harper's body lay crumpled in the hallway next to three engineers. The only body left in the elevator appeared to only be a door stop. The elevator still read twelve above the door. Shepard jogged down the hall and slid down on her knees next to him.

"You all right?"

"Yeah." He touched his forehead with a wince. "How—how long?"

"Only a few minutes." Her wide eyes searched his face. "Do you remember?"

"Yes." He pulled himself up on the elevator's railing.

Shepard stood back. "You're really okay?"

"Yeah, I'm …" His head felt light, and he braced against the wall letting it pass.

"Not instilling me with confidence here, Kaidan."

"I'm okay."

The world still sloshed around him, but it was settling. His head hurt like hell, but he could think and that was something. The world sharpened around him. A frown deepened the corners of Shepard's mouth until he met her eye and released the railing. He didn't fall.

"Piece of advice," Shepard said. "Heard it somewhere today. Don't push the biotics."

Kaidan massaged his temple and nodded.

"Better than dying, right?" he said.

"Couldn't have said it better myself."

"I heard it somewhere today."

Shepard's lips curled up, and she gripped his arm roughly. "You're okay."

"That's what I said, Commander."

She backed up a step still smiling at him and kicked the guard out of the elevator doorway.

"Your armor …" Kaidan said.

"A hand-me-down I found. Like it?"

She faced him with hands on her hips as the doors slid shut behind her.

"They're your colors," Kaidan said.

Shepard punched the button for the fourteenth floor. "Black and gray, huh?"

"No 'N7' though."

"Skipped on it this time. Couldn't risk you busting a hole in my new armor."

A grin strained her cheeks as the elevator came to a stop. The smile and tilt in her voice warmed his blood, but he caught himself. At one time, it would have burned through his veins, made his pulse throb with adrenaline and excitement, come alive in a heady nostalgia, and drunk with that feeling in chest he couldn't quite describe. A feeling that told him he only ever truly lived when he was with her. But that was over now, and the smile in her eyes he tried weakly to return chilled his blood all the way to the heart. He fixed his eyes ahead and snapped on his helmet.

The elevator doors opened to an empty white hallway. Kaidan gave the elevator a once over as they stepped out. He'd worked to avoid blood. It looked clean enough as the doors slid shut. The rooms lining the hallway looked half renovated with unpainted sheetrock and dangling light bulbs. Muffled voices came from the double doors at the end of the hall.

"That must be the meeting," Shepard said pointing ahead.

"What's the plan? We're the two hallway guards now?"

"Yep."

The elevator hummed and the digital numbers counted down above the elevator door.

"Hope that delay didn't upset anyone," Shepard said.

"Right."

"And I also hope they don't stop on the twelfth floor."

Kaidan didn't say anything. Shepard slapped his shoulder and gripped it for a moment.

"You really all right?"

"Yes."

Shepard nodded and twisted on her heels. "All right then. Let's go take a listen."

They moved down the hall. The voices grew louder but were still indistinct as they approached. Shepard took her helmet off and pressed the side of her face against the door. Her brows furrowed, and she pulled back.

"Can't hear anything," she whispered. "Ideas?"

Kaidan pointed up. "Ducts."

"Ducts?" Shepard smirked. "Getting nostalgic for the good ole days crawling around the theater ductwork and eavesdropping on terrorists?"

"The ventilation system looks like it's been restored. We could access it from one of the rooms."

Shepard pursed her lips and nodded. "And when the meeting ends? They could be alarmed over missing their two guards."

"I'll cover. You go."

"You only make one guard, not two, Kaidan."

"I can count."

"Then?"

"Then, I'll cover. One guard is still better than nothing. If they ask, I'll think of something."

Shepard smirked at him. "You know, you have a real knack for BSing. Didn't know it as in you, Kaidan. Pretty impressed. That said, I'll leave you to your work."

She paused as if waiting for him to say something. He strolled over to the far wall and hefted his assault rifle up against this chest.

"Better go, Commander."

"Yes. Right …"

She darted through an open doorway down the hall. The numbers climbed upward on the screen above the elevator – 10, 11, 12, 13 ... Kaidan scanned the hallway quickly but nothing looked out of place. He took a deep breath and stood taller. The elevator chimed.


	103. Chapter 103

**Chapter 34**

Shepard kicked in the vent with a metal pop. She set her helmet against the wall and shined her Omni-Tool light inside. It was a vertical duct. Her hair caught in the rough plaster as she ducked her head through the hole and shinned her light up at the hollow metal shaft. She wasn't getting up that way. She pulled back.

The vertical vent probably connected to something horizontal overhead. A vented panel among the ceiling tiles drew her eye. She grabbed a metal folding chair splattered with dried paint that leaned against the wall. The vent popped right up, and she lifted herself up. The metal popped under the weight of her armor as she squeezed into the duct. Navigating narrow ductwork while wearing armor was going to be … interesting.

Voices. Shepard froze. They were coming from the room below, probably projected in from the hallway. Kaidan had company then. The voices weren't raised, and there weren't any loud sounds to indicate a scuffle. He was okay.

Passing the gap where the vertical shaft connected up the wall, the duct split two directions – ahead and to her right. Shepard shined her flashlight in both directions. Either direction stood the same chance of being right, or being wrong. It wouldn't be easy turning in a tight space with armor on, so forward it was. The metal dented under her armored knees with a snap and pop as she scooted forward. She cringed. It felt like fireworks announcing her overhead.

She'd chosen the right direction, apparently. Voice echoed down the duct as she neared the light from an open vent. Through the slivers in the vent, she could see what looked like a boardroom. Despite train crashes, gunfire, and bomb theft the meeting was still going on. It must be one hell of a meeting. The room's door slid open and footsteps came in. It was probably whoever was in the hallway talking to Kaidan.

"What's going on?" A balding head stood up from the table. "Anything new?"

"Attacks have stopped," the voice as the door slid shut.

"Any idea who?" another man at the table said. He was out of sight.

"Not sure. Could be Alliance."

"No," a new voice said. "We would have heard. There's been nothing on that front."

Shepard angled to see the speaker through the vent. The voice was familiar. He was too far to the side.

"Since our Alliance constituent isn't here, how do we know?" the balding man said.

"I'm representing them," the familiar voice said. "If they know, I know. This attack isn't Alliance."

"Council then?" a woman's voice suggested.

"Unlikely," the balding man said. "Haven't heard anything from contacts there. They know something, of course. Not this though and not about the warheads."

"What the hell are we going to do without them now?" the woman said.

"Gun and grenades. We have the people. It'll be a little more bloody and 'boots on the ground' is all," some new voice at the table said. "If the Shields did take them, they'll pay. But after. Our focus should be here."

"Anyway …" the familiar voice said as a chair skidded back on the vinyl flooring. "If the attacks are over, then I'm taking my ride out of here."

"Discuss this with your people. The information on that chip …" the bald man said.

"I know. Only to him. Don't worry."

A shadow passed the row of heads around the table. Shepard still couldn't get an angle on him. Whatever that chip was, she needed it. She'd missed the whole meeting, apparently.

"Scorpion's still leaving tomorrow after the attacks?" the female voice asked.

"Delivering like promised," the familiar voice said. "Leaving it to us. We're ready for the uprising."

"Ready for the uprising," the bald man repeated.

The door to the room slid open again. She'd better go. She scooted back. The duct popped.

"What was that?" the familiar voice said.

Shepard froze.

"Shuttle's waiting, sir." It was Kaidan's voice.

Shepard scuttled backward. Damn the popping, she needed to get out. Voices talked over each other as chairs pushed back. She shuffled backward down the duct and carefully went over the opening for the horizontal vent shaft. The metal folding chair as still below the ceiling vent. She dropped down with a clack. It wobbled underneath, and she leaped off stumbling into a run. She'd already taken too much time getting back.

Shadows moved in the hallway as she approached the doorway. She pulled a strand of hair from her mouth and stopped short. Feeling her face, she whipped her head back to the room. Her helmet sat on the floor against the wall. She rushed over and grabbed it.

Two figures moved past the open doorway. One of them was Kaidan. Shepard popped into the hallway behind them still clicking her helmet into place. Kaidan spun around.

"Here's the pilot," he said.

A man stopped in the hall a step ahead of Kaidan. Wisps of teased hair fluttered as he snapped around with pressed lips and sized her up. Shepard's eyes widened.

"Where the damn hell you been?" he said.

"Uh …"

The voice was familiar. The man put a hand on his hip and stared at her flatly. The narrow purple tie, the manicured eyebrows, the crisp white collar turned up only slightly as if on accident instead of pretention - it was Wilson's secretary, Anthony or something. Shepard caught Kaidan's eye through the helmet's plexiglass.

"You're supposed to waiting here to take me back," Anthony said and gave Shepard a head bobbing stare. "We couldn't find you."

"Uh, sorry, sir. Bathroom."

Anthony frowned. "Tell him where you're going next time." He pointed a thumb at Kaidan. "We've been very put out over this."

Kaidan's helmet nodded, and Anthony sighed.

"The plumbing up here isn't even restored," Anthony added.

"Found that out, sir," Shepard said.

"Then, we still have to wait for you to go downstairs?" Anthony huffed.

"Nope."

Anthony's face pinched. "Then …"

"Can't fight nature, sir. You answer."

Anthony's lips retracted, and he shot a sideways look at Kaidan. Kaidan shrugged.

"That's … Regardless. Let's just go," Anthony said.

People Shepard didn't recognize looped around them to the elevator. They all loaded inside. A few shadows stood back in the boardroom with whispering voices. Shepard craned her neck and squinted but couldn't make any of them out.

"Come on!" Anthony called from down the hall. He was already on his way to the elevator with Kaidan on his heels.

Shepard sprinted up behind them. Anthony slowed and fell in beside Kaidan as they walked.

"You have to work with her much?" Anthony whispered.

"All the time."

Anthony clicked his tongue and glanced back at her.

"Damn." He leaned into Kaidan as they came to a stop facing the elevator. "Maybe they can move some people around. Mention my name. Anthony Mirrez. Should do it for you."

"I can hear you." Shepard leaned forward.

Anthony turned a scrunched face and gave her a pointed glare. He turned back.

"Damn obnoxious," he muttered to Kaidan.

"You're telling me," Kaidan said.

The elevator chimed and slid open. Anthony watched her coolly as she stepped in behind them. She shuffled around behind them and folded her arms. Kaidan pressed the button for the roof.

"She's not a very good pilot," Kaidan whispered.

Anthony glanced back at her with a critical sneer.

"I could pilot," Kaidan said quietly. "I'm certified. Not my official role, but … you know."

Anthony leaned into him and thumbed back at her. "Let's dump her then. Send her back."

"I don't think we can do that. They wanted you to have two - one guard, one pilot, sir."

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open onto a cement roof. The breeze brushed over them, clean and cool with the sundown. A shuttle with front doors and back hatch stood in the center of the roof.

"You." Anthony turned to Shepard. "You're on guard duty. And you, uh …" He turned to Kaidan.

"Jacobs, sir."

"Jacobs is piloting. You've been demoted. Your dereliction and all."

"Fine." Shepard plodded over to the shuttle and threw open the side door. "After you."

"Attitude," Anthony tsked and stepped up into the shuttle.

He settled into the back seat. Shepard slammed the door shut and spun to Kaidan.

"What the hell, Jacobs?"

"Do you know how to fly a …" Kaidan looked past her, "Odik 750 series shuttle?"

Shepard narrowed her eyes and turned on her heels.

"Fine." She crossed around the front of the shuttle. "But I hate you, Jacobs. You're an ass."

"Hey, Anthony and I feel the same about you. And you're nameless."

Kaidan opened the driver's hatch and clicked it closed behind him. Shepard wrenched open the passenger side door. Kaidan was turned in his seat talking to Anthony.

"Just some lip," Kaidan finished saying before turning forward again.

Shepard looked behind her seat at Anthony. His eyes met hers and narrowed into thin slits. Next time she was in Wilson's office, she was going to give the most outrageous coffee order anyone's ever heard. Something smacked into her chest. Her hands grabbed it reflexively. It was a rifle. Kaidan pulled his hand back.

"You're on guard duty," he said.

Anthony's head nodded in the windshield's reflection. Shepard's hands tightened on the rifle, and she glanced over at Kaidan. He moved screens into position, but paused with a frown. He flashed her a look. Shepard twisted in her seat to face Anthony.

"Where to again?" she asked.

Anthony released a puff of air. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I wasn't told," Shepard said.

"Told! You damn well were told. I heard them arranging it when I first got here. Now Jacobs might not have heard. But then, he wasn't the bloody damn pilot."

Shepard's teeth clenched. "I'm—"

"Just go," Anthony said. "It's Alliance Head—"

"Headquarters," Kaidan finished and adjusted a button on the side panel.

The shuttle lifted.

"See," Anthony said. "He wasn't even the pilot. He knew."

Shepard rested back in her seat with a heavy thunk. A news vid flicked in the windshield's reflection as Anthony bent over his Omni-Tool. The low murmur of voices mixed with the hum of the engine. Anthony smiled and touched his ear as he stared at the screen. Shepard laid the rifle across her knees.

"Fair warning, Jacobs – I'm probably too stupid to know how to use the safety."

"I took the clip out."

Shepard flipped the rifle over. She ran a finger along the bottom of the stock then froze. She tapped a fingernail on the clip.

"Oh, ha, ha." Shepard flipped it back around in her hands.

"Be careful with that!" Anthony hollered from the backseat. "That's not a toy, Guard."

"Guard?" She twisted in her seat. "It's Alice Wester. I'm not nameless."

She shot Kaidan a pointed look. Anthony stared dully at her for a moment then turned back to his vid.

"Someone's going to need to guard him from _me_ ," Shepard muttered as she turned forward.

"What's she saying up there, Jacobs?"

"She doesn't know how to use the safety, sir."

"What?" Anthony bolted upright in his seat.


	104. Chapter 104

**Chapter 35**

Shepard slid the shuttle door closed. She followed Anthony with her eyes until he disappeared behind the sliding doors into Alliance HQ.

"Okay." Shepard tore off her helmet. "Cortez?"

"Here," he whispered and jogged out of the shadows just off the landing pad. He tossed something at her. She caught it.

"Uh, thanks."

"Energy drink," Cortez said. "The Major messaged me."

"Right. Thanks." She tore off the lid.

Kaidan snapped open the pilot's hatch and hopped out. He'd already removed his gauntlets, and he shoved his helmet at Cortez. Cortez set an energy drink on the pavement by Kaidan's feet and inspected the helmet.

"Don't know if this will fit," Cortez said eyeing Kaidan up and down.

"You only have to wear it long enough to return the shuttle. Then meet Joker where I told you," Kaidan said.

"Hurry up," Shepard called.

"Go. I'll catch up," Kaidan said.

He still had his leg guards on. Shepard tossed her helmet into the back of the shuttle and rushed over to him.

"Need help?"

"No. I'll catch up."

"I can help him," Cortez said. "Go."

"All right." Shepard put her hands up and skipped backward. "I'm on the comm."

"I won't be that far behind," Kaidan said and wrenched off an arm cuff.

Cortez bent and helped with the armor on Kaidan's legs. Shepard sprinted to the sliding doors.

Anthony had entered Alliance HQ's leadership wing, a good sign they were getting close to something. Dim night-time lighting lit the hallway as Shepard slipped along the bleached walls. She slipped around the sofas and tables. A door whooshed open somewhere her left. She bolted down that hall.

At the end of the hall, a door slid shut. The center button lit up as it sealed shut. It turned red. Shepard skid to a stop in front of the door. This wasn't an area she'd been in before. A keypad glowed on the wall beside the door. Shepard lingered over it. This was the Alliance's wing, but she tried a Spectre code anyway. It gave a flat beep. The light still glowed red.

There was nothing to be done but try the control panel then. Shepard brought up her Omni-Tool and sank to her knees with a sigh. She could be here all night. The control panel's cover was sealed on tighter than normal. She clawed at the edge until her fingers got some traction. She dug her fingers in and pulled. A shadow moved overhead. A hand slapped over hers. She looked into Kaidan's face.

"Don't." He lifted his hand away. "They're censored for tampering."

He stood up.

"What the hell is this door? I've never seen it here," Shepard said rising to her feet.

"Security doors. They close at night. Seal off the back offices."

"You spend a lot of time here at night? How do you know that?"

He shrugged and hovered a hand over the glowing keypad.

"I already tried that," Shepard said.

Kaidan frowned at the floor as if concentrating. Shepard sighed and ran her hands over the metal doors. Seemed heavy duty. Kaidan looked up sharply and punched in five numbers. It chirped and turned green.

"Let's go."

Kaidan rushed to the widening crack between the security doors.

"How …" Shepard frowned.

Kaidan darted through the doors.

"Wait," Shepard called.

Shepard slipped between the doors and sped after him. Here, the hallway finally looked familiar. Office doors lined the hallway. That was Rear Admiral Peter's office to the right.

"We're in the executive wing," Shepard said catching up to him. "How did you know the code?"

"I remembered it."

"Remembered it? From when?"

"From the shadow broker."

Her stomach twisted.

"Interesting choice for pillow talk," she said.

He gave her a sharp look out of the corner of his eyes, and his jaw tightened. A hardness glinted in his eye that she hadn't seen in a long time. Her throat constricted, and his eyes shifted forward again. Shepard scrambled to keep up with him.

"I'm just ribbing you, Kaidan. Liara told you the codes?" she said.

"Something like that," he muttered but his voice had an edge to it now.

They skid to a stop at a hallway intersection. No sign of Anthony any direction. The only sound was their breathing and the fluorescent hum of the economy lights casting a greenish tinge over the white walls.

"Admiral Wilson's office is straight ahead," Shepard said.

She plunged down the hallway.

"I never found anything on Wilson's terminal," Kaidan said catching up to her.

"So maybe he's not an idiot."

"Or, maybe he's not the one we're looking for."

Shepard slowed and turned on him. "You have a better direction then?"

"Let's split up. We'll cover more ground."

"And if something happens?" Shepard asked.

"You hear gunfire, come running."

"Uh huh," Shepard said then raised her voice like an orator. "Today we remember Kaidan Alenko. 'Let's split up,' he said. 'We'll cover more ground,' he said.'"

"Don't belittle me, Shepard."

"Oh, come on. No armor, no barrier, biotic fatigue? It's not a good idea."

Kaidan stepped in closer and there was some heat in his voice. "Shepard, I don't need your—"

"What are you two doing here?" a voice boomed.

Shepard spun around and knocked into a potted palm. Kaidan lurched and steadied it. The bottom of the pot clapped back to the floor as Admiral Wilson stormed toward them. Shepard raised her eyebrows at Kaidan.

"Coincidence?" she said under her breath.

Kaidan frowned.

"It's the middle of the night," Wilson said stopping in front of them. "These offices are off limits to unassigned personnel during afterhours. Neither of you is an admiral correct?"

Wilson focused the heat of his glare on Kaidan. Smoke almost curled from the space between Kaidan's eyes.

Kaidan squared off with him. "Working late, Admiral?"

"Are you refusing to answer my question, Alenko?"

Wilson's eyes burned as he stepped up closer to Kaidan. An Alliance brass who hated Kaidan more than her. This was a novelty.

"Admiral Wilson," Shepard said. "We're assisting the Council with something."

Wilson glared over at her. "In the middle of the night? In the Alliance Executive wing?"

"Yes, and yes."

Wilson eyed her up and down with narrowing eyes. He turned a critical eye to Kaidan's clothing. They were an odd pair - Shepard dressed in ill-fitting armor and Kaidan in a tank top and black denim. He didn't even have his hoody anymore.

"In here, Spectre authority doesn't supersede Alliance authority," Wilson said.

"We're—" A sound made her cut herself off.

She listened putting up a hand to stop Wilson as he opened his mouth.

"Was that a door?" Shepard looked at Kaidan.

"I didn't hear it," Kaidan said.

Wilson put his hands on his hips. "Someone could be working late. Authorized personnel with clearance are allowed to access these offices."

"It was down the hall," Shepard said.

"Let's go." Kaidan nodded that direction.

Wilsons's eyes widened as they hurtled past him. His feet pounded up the hall behind them.

"Listen up!"

Shepard stopped short and rounded on him. "Shsh. Just listen, Admiral. Please."

She could be cloyingly respectful if she had a mind to. It seemed to take some fire out of Wilson's eyes, but Kaidan just crossed his arms with a tight expression. Apparently, he had no intention of making up to the admiral.

"Okay," Shepard said keeping her voice low. "Kaid—Major Alenko and I are following someone with information we need to intercept. Something for an attack tomorrow at the Summit. The attack is real, not rumor. He's meeting with a panel of Terra Firma's leaders and the Scorpion. If Alliance officers are involved, we need to find out who they are."

Wilson's face blanked. He looked between them. Finally, he cleared his throat and nodded.

"I saw my assistant in the hallway. It seemed out of place," he said.

"Who else is still here?" Shepard said.

"I'm not sure. I've been in my office."

She met Kaidan's eye and tipped her head down the hall. Wilson fell in behind them. This wasn't what she expected, but it could be useful. Kaidan couldn't know all the door codes. At least, she didn't think so.

"Voices," Kaidan said.

"That's a conference room up ahead," Wilson said.

They rushed to the metal door with the muffled voices and movement. Shepard pressed her ear to it.

"That didn't work before," Kaidan whispered.

"It's a different door," Shepard said. She pulled back. "Same outcome though. You're right."

"You don't want to …" Kaidan's eyes moved to the ceiling.

"Not this time," Shepard said.

It sounded like a lot of different voices inside. She couldn't hear words, just the bass-like undertones. One voice pitched higher than the rest - Anthony's.

"Sounds like a good-sized group," Kaidan said.

Admiral Wilson shifted on his feet and glanced around them. His eyes rested on Shepard waiting. He was waiting for her directions then. An odd turn of events. Out of all the strange companions she'd had, Admiral Wilson was definitely near the top. Shepard smirked over at Kaidan, but he didn't meet her eye and continued to gaze at the door.

"Okay," Shepard said moving her eyes from Kaidan to include Wilson. Kaidan's eyes flickered to Wilson and his mouth stiffened, but he didn't say anything. Kaidan had been advocating for Wilson not being involved only a few minutes ago, but apparently that didn't extend into wanting him at their six.

"I saw Anthony leave with a datachip," Shepard said. "He's supposed to hand it off to someone, maybe the Scorpion. We need to know who's in that room and get that datachip."

"How big's this datachip?" Wilson leaned deeper into their huddle.

"It's a normal datachip. Size of your thumb."

"Anthony will destroy it before he gives it over," Wilson said.

"Then I'll shoot him," Shepard said holding her pistol up.

"Oh." Wilson glanced at it.

He fumbled for his own pistol. It was probably clogged with dust. Kaidan must have been thinking the same thing. He grabbed a spare clip from his belt and shoved it in Wilson's hand.

"How old's that clip?" Kaidan said.

Wilson narrowed his eyes. "Implying something, Alenko?"

"Not implying," Kaidan said. "You've been at a desk for over a year. Unless you've changed out clips in that time, I'd do it now."

Wilson stared back at him. "I go to the firing range, Major."

"Stop," Shepard said. "We're going in, so get ready."

Kaidan gave a sharp nod, wrapped both hands around his pistol, and pressed his back against the side of the door. Shepard moved to the door's keypad.

"Admiral …" Shepard turned expectantly. She frowned. "What are you doing?"

Wilson slung his clip down the hallway and popped in the spare. He caught them watching him.

"I go to the firing range with a different weapon."

Kaidan snorted turning his head back to the door and flexing his fingers across the butt of his gun. A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth, and Wilson's nostrils flared.

"Here." Shepard tossed him another clip. He grabbed it. "Spare. Now, let's go. Open the door, Admiral."

Wilson tore his eyes off Kaidan and stepped to the keypad on the opposite side of the door. Shepard's fingers tightened on the grip of her pistol, and her muscles coiled. Wilson punched in the code, and it turned green with a chirped. Shepard edged forward as the doors slid apart.

"What's going on?" a voice said.

Voices rose, chairs screeching, and upending. Tables turned over. Shepard hesitated until the door widened enough, then she darted in.

"Surrender. Special Tactics and Rec—"

A blue flash knocked her back into some overturned chairs. A biotic shield flared out and sealed off the back of the room. The Scorpion _was_ here then. Shadows around the room dodged for cover behind upended tables. The first shot glanced off her shoulder, and she slid under a table and overturned it. It rattled with gunshots. A few came right through the thin wood. Wilson dipped his head around the door and returned fire amid the pounding feet and yelling.

Shepard clutched her pistol still shaky with biotic fatigue and peeked around the edge of the table. A blue sphere swirled above her. She clawed at the table as she started to lift. Bullets sprayed plaster from the wall behind her as she floated up. She grit her teeth and flashed a barrier over her skin. It broke the hold, and she dropped with a thud and rolled free letting her barrier dropped. Lights danced in her vision under a throbbing headache. Her pistol clattered to the floor as she braced herself on her hands and knees trying to stop the spinning.

A scuffling sound made her look up. A barrel aimed down at her. Kaidan rammed into the woman's legs, and her pistol fired into the wall as she tumbled backward. Shepard snatched her gun off the floor next to Kaidan's knee. The woman lifted her head, and Shepard fired. Blood misted into their faces as the woman's head slammed back against the floor. Red spread across her uniform – a rear admiral.

The overturned table shuttered, and a man flew spun around the other side. Shepard's vision flashed blue as Kaidan batted his hand out. The boom reverberated in her teeth. Shepard whipped him in the face with her pistol and shot him in the forehead.

Kaidan's head thudded back against the table, the pistol loosening in his hand, and blinked rapidly with a big swallow. Shepard leaned across him and fired around the edge of the table. She hit a woman in the chest, and she toppled over. Pieces of tile flooring exploded in the air as a bullet hit the ground by her knee. She drew back and changed clips. Wilson was still returning fire from the doorway, and Shepard spun a spare clip his direction.

Shepard touched Kaidan's shoulder, and he focused on her with a nod. His fingers gripped onto his pistol, and he sat up from the table. Shepard peeked over the top and exchanged fire with two uniforms huddled behind the table across from them.

Shepard caught the movement too late. A barrel tipped around the table. Kaidan's Omni-Tool glowed and the woman's gun clicked. She cursed and drove her Omni-blade at Kaidan. It sliced his hand as he turned it aside with his pistol. She ducked his shot reeling back with wild eyes and spun around. Her eyes fixed on the blue shield separating the room, and she pushed to her feet. Shepard's shaky pistol only hit the wall beyond her. The shield rippled to let her through. Kaidan lunged out from behind the table and caught her foot. Her hair flared over her head as her face cracked into the floor. The shield resealed without her.

Shepard darted out beside Kaidan and gave return fire. Her gun clicked. A man in the corner smiled up from his Omni-Tool and rushed at them. Fire plumed from his Omni-Tool. Kaidan pressed to the floor and angled his pistol up, but it clicked too. He seemed to anticipate the tech attack and dodged the burst of ice. Shepard planted her feet over Kaidan as fire washed over them. He bared down on them, and Shepard launched forward through the flames and buried her Omni-blade right through his gut. Her face stung, stomach twisting with the stench of scorched hair, and let him drop to the floor.

A bullet broke Shepard's chest plate, and she staggered back with a gasp. Kaidan grabbed her arm and dragged her behind a stack of chairs. His hands patted rough around the top of her head, and she had to stop herself from thrusting him away as she realized what he was doing. The pain burning across her scalp wasn't from his roughness. A squeak escaped her lips, and she tangled her fingers up into her hair.

"I've got it." He pushed her hands down and mussed her hair one last time before rocking back on his heels.

She searched his face. "Bad?"

"Noticeable."

"Damnit." She slammed her fist down on floor.

Wilson's gunshots stopped, and his gun clicked. There was only one man left not hiding behind the biotic shield. He fired at them as he bolted past. It was Anthony. Shepard spun out after him knocking over the stack of chairs. Wilson fumbled in the doorway with a spare clip as Anthony's arms punched forward, Omni-blade glowing. Shepard and Kaidan flashed blue at the same time. Anthony flew sideways in a wave of blue energy and crunched into the wall. Shepard let the energy drop and stumbled to a stop. She turned to the shield, but whoever was left was hiding deep inside.

The earth moved under her, and she tasted the blood running over her upper lip. She turned woozily to find Kaidan. He lay face down not moving. Her fingers grappled for the edge of a table to steady herself as she lurched over to him. He lay in the open without armor. If they dropped the shield, they could fire on him. She crashed to her knees beside him and put her armored back to the shield. Darkness rimmed her vision, head spinning, as she slouched over him. Her fingers curled a wad of his shirt into her palm, and she closed her eyes.

 

* * *

 

She woke with a start, her face pressed to Kaidan's back. Gunshots rang in her head, and she bolt upright. Wilson's legs shifted standing between them and the shield. He shot round after round at the rippling blue wall. Shepard pushed to her feet unsteadily. Kaidan moaned and stirred against the floor.

"You're awake. Didn't know if you would." Wilson fired again.

Shepard pushed his arms down and turned to the shield. She squinted through the blue veil, but whoever was on the other side was hiding behind the tipped-over tables.

"Give up. This is Commander Shepard. You've lost."

Her vision was still wavy, but she pulled herself up straight.

"Commander Shepard?" a younger male voice said.

"Yes. We know everything, so just drop the shield. We won't shoot you."

Kaidan crawled to his knees, grabbed his gun, and stood with a slight stagger. Shepard gripped his arm. He wiped blood from his nose and met her eyes with a quick nod before she let go. She turned back to the shield.

"It's useless. We have you. Just give—"

Two shots fired. The shield fell. Shepard surged forward to the overturned table in the back. She turned the table aside and stood back. Two bodies in Alliance uniforms lay bleeding from the heads with pistols still rocking at their side. Kaidan stepped up beside her.

"Mason's son." Shepard turned to Kaidan.

"And Flight Admiral Dumas." Kaidan pointed with his gun.

Wilson shoved between them. "No …"

The gun slipped from his fingertips, and he froze over Dumas's body. Shepard drew in a deep breath and met Kaidan's eyes. Mason's son was a biotic with inside knowledge of the Alliance and Council and scheduled onstage on day one of the Summit. It was over then. She smiled, but Kaidan looked away. He shoved his pistol away.

"Who's calling it in?" he said.


	105. Chapter 105

**Chapter 36**

"This is a disaster." Sparatus slammed his datapad in the center of the Council room's table.

The Admiral Board of Parliament, every last flight admiral in Vancouver, stood around the table still blinking sleep from their eyes. Sparatus, Ilk, and Tevos faced them across the glass table. From the head of the table, Shepard had a good view of both sides. She leaned forward on the table and stray strands of burned hair escaped the bun knotted at the back of her head.

"Councilor Mason should be under house arrest, not in a detention cell," Shepard said.

"We're not talking about him right now." Ilk raised a hand. "The Summit's set to open in eight hours."

"Postpone it," Kaidan said. He stood in the back of the room against the wall. It was the first thing he'd said in the last hour of the Council-Alliance bickering. All the blaming, panicking, and finger pointing was growing old.

"Impossible!" Ilk snapped. "It's all arranged. Been arranged for over a year. Why should any of this change that?"

"This is the biggest scandal in Alliance history," Flight Admiral Sheng said.

"The media fallout ..." Flight Admiral Montgomery shook her head. "Twenty-four hours and this hits all the news stations."

"The start of the Summit will wash it out," Sparatus said. "Going ahead shows strength. Terra Firma's plans have been exposed, leaders removed. We've won, haven't we?"

"Agreed," Tevos said. "Continuing undaunted shows that we are above it. It focuses the attention back to the real issues, not Terra Firma's cause."

"Or draws the attention to their cause instead of focusing on the real issues," Kaidan said.

The admirals turned in on each other arguing. It was a huge embarrassment. Even now, they were still analyzing all the plans and information from the chip. Shepard caught Kaidan's eye, but he looked down at the datapad in his hand.

"The Summit will go on," Sparatus said finally. "This is not a decision the Alliance has any say in."

"What about subduing the rest of Terra Firma?" Tevos looked to Shepard.

"From the chip, we know their targets - the nuclear power center in north Vancouver and the Comm Hubb downtown. At 1800 tonight, they'll be centralizing to strike. We'll be ready."

"When Councilor Mason doesn't appear at the opening ceremony, they'll be talk," Sheng said.

"His son died. No one needs to know more for now," Montgomery said.

"The death of his son though …" Flight Admiral Abadi said. "That has to raise some alarms for Terra Firma."

"As far as we know," Shepard said. "No one in Terra Firma knew he or Flight Admiral Dumas were Terra Firma leaders."

"Let alone that their Scorpion was Lieutenant Mason," Tevos said.

The admirals stirred across the table.

"Not proven!" Montgomery said.

"All but proven," Ilk said. "His involvement is extensive from those files on the chip. It fits. The Spectres believed the Scorpion would be a biotic, someone set to be onstage in opening ceremonies. Not a long list. His relationship with the Alliance and Council, the terror attacks mirroring his deployments. A personal grudge for his mother's death – possible motive for using the Normandy to target petty mercs. It makes sense."

"And Councilor Mason? Science Officer Alicia Mason?" Abadi said.

"Alicia Mason was on duty at the Veteran's hospital all evening," Tevos said. "It's been confirmed by witnesses and video surveillance. We released her after questioning. The Councilor, unfortunately, was home alone."

"He wasn't at the meeting we broke up," Shepard said. "That's not proof he's not involved?"

"Perhaps he hadn't arrived yet. Maybe he'd left already. He could have been on speaker phone," Sparatus said. "We've no way of knowing since everyone's dead."

He gave Shepard a pointed look.

"I offered arrest," Shepard said.

"I don't believe Councilor Mason's involved," Tevos said. "It's just a precaution until we've investigated." She leaned forward catching Sparatus's eye and then Ilk's. They nodded, and Tevos turned back to Shepard. "We should have an alternate take his place. Shepard?"

Shepard shrugged. "By all means, have all alternate."

"You, Shepard," Tevos said.

The Alliance heads snapped her direction, and she could feel Kaidan's eyes weighing on her from the back of the room, but she pressed on unfazed.

"As everything sits now," Shepard said. "We have no reason to think Anthony Barrus planned any further communication with the sect leaders before the strike. As long as Terra Firma isn't alerted to what happened here, they'll prepare for the strike. Their bombs were reclaimed by the Shields for all they know.  They'll hit the targets with everything else they've got and will be expecting to get the drop. We'll be there to collect them though. It's a lot cleaner, and we get all of them in one swoop. We go for them now, root around through the city, they'll escape and civilians will get hurt."

"Shepard?" Tevos asked again.

Shepard only glanced briefly at her before continuing. "We need Alliance troops, C-Sec, Spectres. The Scorpion and Alliance moles are removed, but we take out all their best people that they've gathered right here, all their sect leaders - Terra Firma as a threat will be essentially eliminated. The relay will be back up, and we'll be in the clear."

"If the relay can even be repaired," Sparatus said.

"We've plans for another shard from an Arcturus relay," Montgomery said.

"What?" Ilk said. "You must approve this with the Council. Deactivate an active relay? That's permanent."

"We know the gravity of it," Sheng said.

"That's a Council, not an Alliance, decision," Sparatus fumed.

"Agreed," Tevos said.

"We can talk about that later," Shepard put her hands up. "Admirals, Councilors, do we have the resources for the strike tomorrow?"

"Of course," Sheng said. "Admiral Hart has drawn up a plan for the HUB and nuclear centers. We should expect them to be focused on the Summit too."

"Those bombs are both diffused?" Flight Admiral Hart finally spoke for the first time.

"Shepard's team secured them. They're already disarmed and in custody," Montgomery said.

"We're missing the nuclear bomb," Shepard said.

"We don't know it even came into the city," Montgomery said. "If they planned to use it in their attacks, it would have been with the others."

"It's still missing," Shepard said.

"And we'll find it eventually as we continue to raid Terra Firma facilities," Hart said. "It's a massive warhead. Even Terra Firma doesn't want to use it, apparently. It's more valuable as a threat than anything real."

Shepard pursed her lips and looked around the nodding heads.

"The plans so far …" Hart stood up.

Shepard wandered away from the table. The attack plans grew heated before Hart was through his first step. Sparatus talked overtop him, and Montgomery flew around the table to get in Spartaus's face.

"Spectres should direct the assaults," Tevos agreed.

"We're not having Alliance troops directed by turien Spectres." Sheng came up beside Montgomery and slammed a palm down on the table.

Shepard strolled over to Kaidan and leaned against the wall next to him. He glanced over at her.

"Hey," he said.

"You look grim."

He hung the datapad on his side. "It doesn't make sense."

"What?"

"The information on the chip," Kaidan said. "Their plans post-attack. Setting themselves up as global leaders. Where's the scorpion?"

"He planned to leave Earth."

"Anchor's email, the only one he deleted, mentioned a surprise package for the Scorpion. This chip mentioned a delivery, doesn't say to who, but I think it's the same thing. Maybe the Scorpion isn't in their plans, because the leaders, at least the Alliances ones, planned to make sure he didn't come back."

"If they're eliminating him, why's he at their meeting?"

"Right." Kaidan looked over at her. He tapped the datapad in his palm. "The way they talk about the attack onstage makes it sound like a contained detonation with a mass effect field. Then the Scorpion comes out after the explosion and gets credit over live vid."

"We both checked the floor's schematics. Nothing's going to detonate," Shepard said.

"Then why do they think it will?" Kaidan turned off the datapad. "I don't think the Alliance moles knew what the floor did."

"So, what then?" Shepard said folding her arms. "The Scorpion's being crossed and knows it. Tricks them into installing a weapon they don't understand. Dumas's sitting front row with his cohorts, and the Scorpion takes them out along with everyone else?"

"Always seemed like a grudge to me," Kaidan said. "There are easier ways to destroy the Summit, but it's about a show and taking credit. Dumas and the others turn against him, and the whole galaxy sees them pay. The whole galaxy sees the Council pay, the Alliance pay, all the alien leaders, everyone."

"And the missing nuclear warhead? It fits in somewhere?"

"I don't know."

"What about the package for the Scorpion? Could it be the warhead?"

Kaidan furrowed his brow. "That would destroy the entire city. They'd kill themselves."

"Why take it from the Shields then?" Shepard mused.

Kaidan shrugged and shook his head. Shepard frowned at the floor. There was too much effort taking the nuclear warhead from the Shield to just save it for a rainy day. Kaidan closed his eyes, face scrunched, and touched his temple. Maybe that's why he'd been so quiet.

He looked up abruptly.  "We need to tell the Council about the floor, Shepard."

Shepard held his eye, then finally nodded.

"Okay." She put a hand on his shoulder. "You all right?"

"A migraine. I'm fine."

He stood away from the wall and walked toward the councilors. Shepard followed him. The admirals and council had segregated across the table again, only talking to their own group. Admiral Sheng stood up from the table

"We'll go discuss these specifics in the Alliance wing. We'll let you prepare for the Summit," he said to the Councilors.

The Councilors nodded dismissively at the admirals. The admirals eyed Shepard and Kaidan as they filed to the far door

"Commander." Admiral Sheng stopped in front of her. He glanced at the Councilors before lowering his voice and leaning in closer. "Consider the alternate spot. The Alliance could use your support during the Summit."

"I'm sure they won't lack for Alliance volunteers, if they need to fill an alternate spot," Shepard said.

"The second choice may not have Alliance welfare at heart. Consider it. Tell them you'll think on it, and I'll have Admiral Wilson follow up with you before the Summit," Sheng said.

Shepard gave Sheng a cool look. "I've already made up my mind. I appreciate the recommendation, sir, but no."

He gave a gritty sigh then inclined his head. "I'll have the admiral follow up with you, just in case." Shepard nearly rolled her eyes but kept a fixed smile. "And good work on this one. I think you'll be pleased with how much Parliament appreciates you uncovering these moles. You too, Major." He gave them both a nod. "Until tomorrow."

Kaidan folded his arms and watchef Sheng leave. Shepard hesitated to continue to the table. The way Kaidan had looked at her from across the room when Tevos had asked Shepard to be alternate – he had something to say about it. Better to just get it out and shut down. She waited. Kaidan turned and met her eyes, but didn't say anything.

"Anything to add?" she prompted after a moment.

He looked pointedly past her at the Councilors. "Should we tell them about the floor?"

He didn't wait for an answer and passed by her. Shepard heard the door click behind Sheng, the last admiral to leave the room. Standing, the Councilors eyed at them as they came up to the table across from them. They weren't going to like this. As she told them, Sparatus's frown deepened. Tevos's eyebrows raised.  Ilk's face didn't seem to move at all.

"In light of Mason's possible involvement," Tevos said. "I see why you hesitated to tell us, but something of this significance needs to be shared, Spectres."

"Spectre Alenko wanted to tell you," Shepard said. "It was my decision not to."

"And what now?" Ilk said. "The Summit. It's little only seven hours away."

"Move the Summit to another location," Kaidan said. "Use the main council chamber."

"Main council chamber?" Sparatus snorted. "We'd only fit half the people needed to run the lights and audio. No room for an audience. No room for media."

"Let in a couple of cameras, and the audience can watch from outside," Kaidan said.

"That completely undermines the significance of the Summit," Sparatus said. "It'd be disorganized, ridiculous, a barely elevated council meeting with too many people crowding the floor."

"Postpone it then," Kaidan said.

"No," Ilk said putting a hand up. "We've already discussed this. It will go on. The people are here. The plans are made. To organized it all over again? Impossible."

"These terrorists are vermin," Sparatus said. "We won't validate them as more than that."

Shepard looked around at their faces. Arguing with the Alliance for hours had made them dig in their heels. The Council wanted to be in control. They'd made their decision dismissing a postponement in front of the Alliance.  Going back on it now would only show weakness. Shepard could respect that.

"That floor is a danger." Kaidan pointed his finger into the table and leaned forward. "It could destroy the entire building. Could kill all of you. Kill everyone."

Tevos shifted and glanced over at Ilk and Sparatus. Ilk folded his arms.

"Only a danger from someone who knows about it," Ilk said. "You roped it off. Placed the statue there. No one comes across it serendipitously, and no one knows."

"Who else knows about this?" Tevos asked.

"Admiral Hackett," Shepard said.

"Admiral Hackett?" Sparatus rattled the back of chair. "You tell no one in the Council, but you tell one of the Alliance admirals?"

"It is what it is," Shepard said. "We can't go back and tell you. We know, and Admiral Hackett knows. That's all."

Kaidan pressed his lips and shook his head. "The Scorpion knew. More in Terra Firma could know about it. We don't know how many else know."

"The Scorpion has a hole in his head," Sparatus said.

Tevos frowned at him. "Don't be insensitive. That's Councilor Mason's son."

"We don't know he's the Scorpion," Kaidan said.

"You said—"

"We don't know." Kaidan came around the table to them. "Suspicion is not the same as knowing. Until we know, there's a chance we're wrong. If we're wrong …"

"You were willing to take the risk before," Tevos said. "What's the difference? The risk is even less now. The Scorpion is probably dead and so are the Alliance moles that would have been onstage. You and Shepard can continue with the same preventive plan you had before."

Shepard met each councilor's eye and nodded. That was reasonable. The risk was considerably less. Even if the Scorpion wasn't Mason's son and dead, he'd likely be scared off. The Scorpion would notice his Alliance cohorts missing at the Summit. Whether the Scorpion was dead or not, he wasn't going to appear onstage.

Kaidan exhaled sharply though and shook his head. "For pomp and ceremony, you risk everything."

Sparatus slapped the table with his palm. "The Summit goes ahead tomorrow. That's final. Same place, same time. You and Shepard had some plant to protect us, keep it. The Scorpion's dead. Terra Firma gets cleaned up in less than twenty-four hours. Now," he stood up straight," we have a few hours left to prepare and rest. Do yourselves the favor and do the same."

They watched the Councilors file out the side door. Kaidan crossed his arms with a dark frown.

"Kaidan."

He eyes flickered to her, hid face tight. He didn't say anything.

"Hey, we can do this like we talked about," Shepard said.

"I didn't like it then," Kaidan said. "At least, then the benefit made the risk more rational. If the Scorpion's dead or scared off, we only have risk, no benefit."

He swung away and headed to the door the admirals had used earlier. Shepard jogged up behind him.  She kept pave with him as he turned into the hall.  He didn't look over, arms still tightly crossed against his chest.

"Do we need to talk about something?" she said. He seemed testy.

Kaidan stopped. He turned to face her. "Look, Shepard. I'm sorry. I have a migraine. We'll debrief later."

"We only have seven hours."

"Exactly," Kaidan said. "We've been up all day, all night, and in seven hours, we'll be up all day again. We've both been pushed to breaking under biotic fatigue. I'm only running on adrenaline. I need rest. You need rest. But … make your own decision."

He turned before she could reply and strode away. Shepard followed him with her eyes and frowned. He disappeared around the corner.


	106. Chapter 106

**Chapter 37**

Kaidan left the Council wing behind and took a sharp right toward the Alliance barracks. The overhead lighting made his head pound harder. Hours left and what he really needed was a whole day to just lay in the dark and feel better. He massaged his temple as he rounded the last corner to his room. He stopped short.

"Liara."

She leaned sideways on the wall next to his door.

"Kaidan." She straightened with a smile.

"What's going on? You okay?"

"I wanted to make sure everything turned out all right. Shepard's safe?"

"Yes." He walked hesitantly to his door.

"Are you all right? You seem …"

"I have a migraine. I already took something."

The splintering pain was starting to dull, and the throbbing had shallowed. But that disjointed feeling the medicine couldn't touch was still there – the feeling of only skimming the surface, nothing quite connecting, stumbling in a fog. He turned to the door and rested his face into the crook of his elbow. He needed a moment to think. A moment to keep his thoughts straight. A hand touched his back.

"Are you going in?"

Go in - what would happen then, he wasn't sure. He couldn't rely on himself to think things through. And he was emotional too, could feel his heart pounding. Liara should go. He needed to be alone, sleep if it was possible.

He took a deep breath focusing on his senses - the chill of the metal door against his arm, hum of overhead lights, that sterile copy paper smell to the hallway, the faint flowery smell of Liara. He gave a long sigh and pushed back from the door.

"Let's go outside," he said.

"What?' Liara peered at him. "If you're not feeling well, Kaidan …"

"Dark is better."

"Your room is dark," Liara motioned. "We can talk later. Perhaps you need to rest."

Here was his opening then. Encourage her to leave. He could let this turbulence pass, sleep, start over. She was offering to go. He wouldn't even need to fret over hurting her feelings by suggesting.

"Stay," he said.

Her eyes glistened with a clear, soft sheen as he studied them. Something about her, just having her here, made him feel better. But that was the problem. His head ached trying to think it out any further.

"Let's go outside though," he said and nodded to the exit at the end of the hall.

He passed her and looked back. Her brow wrinkled.

"Are you sure, Kaidan? You look exhausted."

"It's fine. Let's walk. I'm happy you to see you."

She fell in beside him, and they moved down the hall. Kaidan picked up his pace. He needed to get out from the flickering fluorescence. Through the hallway windows, the night promised dark and calm. Kaidan jammed the button as soon as they reached it.

"I'm glad you're safe." Liara put a hand on the back of his arm as they passed outside.

He took a deep breath of moist air - cool and grassy, a taste of the briny ocean, and scent of blossoms blooming somewhere in the darkness. The night air was already warmer than the last time he'd walked around. The bright lights receded behind them as they left the windows behind and walked through the damp grass. Stars spread overhead in the darkness and city lights glittered down below in the distance. They strolled side by side in silence, and his fingertips dropped away from kneading his temple. Between the medicine and the darkness, the pain in his head was starting to settle. He drew in a deep breath and glanced over at Liara.

"You run into any trouble getting back?" he asked.

Liara shook her head. "We made it to the extraction point unseen. We recovered the boy. They took him to Council Holding."

"The boy?" Kaidan frowned for a second then lifted his eyebrows. "Oh, right."

"Why'd you save him?" Liara asked.

Kaidan folded his arms and shrugged. "I didn't save him. I spared him. He's only a dumb kid."

"From what Miranda said—"

"I don't want to know," Kaidan said. "It's been a long night."

"Very well …" Liara interlaced her hands in front of her as they strolled.

Kaidan stopped short, folding his arms in tighter, and sighed. "You know, if it came to a choice between us or the kid, it's us. Of course, it is. But if it wasn't a choice, I knew I'd live better with myself this way. I don't regret it, whatever Miranda says."

Liara gave a slight smile. "That's something I like about you, Kaidan."

"Well … thanks."

He turned back to the dark lawn and let his arms drop to his side as he walked ahead. There wasn't a destination, it just felt good to be outside and quiet. Liara kept pace by his side as they cut through the dewy grass.

"I came out here one night," Kaidan said, and he pointed ahead of them. "Sat right there. Fell asleep. Didn't wake up until morning. I was lucky I didn't wake up with a seagull nesting on me."

"Is that a risk here on Earth?"

Kaidan smiled over at her. The darkness made her features a deep purple in the half-seen light.

"No, I'm joking."

She smiled softly, and a hand curled around the inside of his arm as they walked.

"On my digs, I'd sleep outside. Different planets, people, ruins, but the night sky was always there."

"You miss it? Archeology."

"I like remembering, but everything's changed. I've changed. I'm the shadow broker now. Going back would only disappoint me, spoil the memories."

"Maybe the point's to make new memories, not live in the old ones," Kaidan said. "You're the shadow broker, but you're still an archeologist. Don't give up what you love just because you've changed."

They came up to a cement walkway. It wound into a manicured hedge circling a garden near the building. Kaidan' head still had that heavy, deep ache that made concentration an effort, but the sharpness was gone. He didn't need to squint as he gazed at the pale light shining in the distance from the garden. Liara looked out across the dark lawns the other direction.

"Did you want to stay out of the light?" she asked.

He did, but the garden lights looked dim. This time of night, no one was around, but it would feel more public. He didn't want to deal with thinking through any decisions tonight. He knew himself enough when he felt like this. Following all the possible threads into the future, considering ramifications and meanings - he'd give up like struggling under a weight. Then he'd be left whatever he felt in the moment. Liara's hand warmed the hollow of his elbow.

"I'm feeling better," Kaidan said. "Have you seen the Alliance gardens?"

He turned down the cement pathway without waiting for an answer. Liara shuffled along beside him still clutching his arm. She chewed her bottom lip, darted a look at him, and seemed about to say something.

"What were we talking about?" Kaidan said fixing his eyes ahead.

"Archeology," Liara said in a bland tone.

"Right," Kaidan said. "You're really giving it up?"

Liara studied his profile in the corner of his vision.

"Seems like a poor use of my time," she said finally and looked forward. "Javik's here. Why study ruins when the one that built them is right here to explain everything."

They passed through the leafy hedge into a wide lawn circled with gravel walkways. A marble pool dominated the center of the garden with a fountain trickling in the middle. Only days ago, the conference hall doors had been propped open, and Shepard running into him with her empty glass. Liara released his arm and strolled to the reflective waters of the pool. The pool's marble rim was wide enough for sitting, and she smoothed her skirt as she sat. Kaidan took a few steps after her.

"I know Javik thinks he knows everything about the Protheans," Kaidan said. "But if I was the sole survivor of my cycle, I'd only know a fraction of what there is to learn about humanity, let alone the galaxy or other races."

"True." Liara dipped a finger into the pool then smiled. "Don't let _him_ hear you say that though."

"Ten months together coming back on the Normandy, and he still acts like he doesn't know who I am."

"Feigning to not recognize someone you clearly know, especially when both know it - it's a way to exert dominance."

Kaidan grinned. "I suppose some things don't change across cycles. Maybe next time I'll pretend to not know _him_. Go toe to toe on who can recognize the other the least."

Liara stirred the water with her fingertip. She looked up sharply. "How are things with Shepard?"

"What?" He frowned at the abrupt transition.

Liara straightened and folded her hands in her lap. "Will you two … Is there any way?"

Kaidan exhaled, folded his arms, and looked down the length of the pool toward the back hedge. Shepard's outline stirred in the shadows laughing, talking, and looked over her shoulder at him with a raised glass. She turned away.

Liara shifted on the marble rim and dropped her eyes. "I shouldn't be asking. I'm sorry."

Kaidan crunched across the gravel and sank down next to her on the edge of the pool.

"No."

Liara eyed him. "No?"

"No, I don't think we'll ever be together again."

"Oh," Liara said softly.

Kaidan hunched over resting his elbows on his knees and stared at his hands. A cut sliced down the side of his thumb to the base of the palm. It was sealed into a translucent raised line with medigel. He traced it with a finger. It barely hurt anymore. His headache hurt worse. He exhaled and looked back at Liara.

"I'm fine though."

"Is that true?" Liara hunched forward beside him.

"It's starting to be. I want it to be."

He stared at the gravel between his feet, and Liara's hand slipped under his arm. Her fingers warmed the crook his elbow like before, and his breath slowed and calmed. This time though, her fingers caressed down the skin of his inner arm. The light, slow touch to his wrist sent shivers down his spine, and his brow pinched as her fingers uncurled, tips tracing up his fingers, and palm pressing into his. He looked back at her. Garden light glimmered in her eyes, wide and bright. She searched his face, and his heart pounded clenching in his chest. He wasn't ready for this. She smiled softly, and a rush of feeling and memory swept over him – a taste of her all around him, everything washing away, the security, the belonging, the warmth.

His fingers parted. Blood throbbed through his veins as her fingers slipped slowly between his. Her throat moved in a swallow, breath quickening, as folded his fingers over her hand. Maybe she was afraid. He knew he was. His heart pounded as her fingertips dug into the back of his hand and her lips parted. He leaned in.

Something splashed in the water. He paused tasting her breath and feeling the heat off her skin. He looked down. It was a fish. Kaidan's breath caught. A black and gold coy swished below the pool's surface, twisting and curling, before slipping away. Kaidan pulled back dropping her hand and stood up.

"I should go rest. I'm not thinking straight."

Liara's mouth tightened as she gripped the rim of the marble pool. Her eyelashes fluttered as she bowed her head and gave a slow nod. She brushed a finger under her eye, and it pulled the air out of Kaidan's lungs.

"Liara … I-I'm sorry."

She drew in a deep breath and raised glimmering eyes. His stomach twisted as she rose forcing a quick smile and brushed around him.

"Liara." Kaidan spun after her. "I'm not thinking clearly."

Liara stopped. "Like on Jump Zero? You weren't thinking clearly then either?" She turned around and met his eye with a set mouth.

"I didn't know what I was doing." Kaidan took a step closer. "I thought Shepard was dead. I felt … it was excruciating. Maybe the worst I've ever felt. We were both upset. I just wanted anything not to feel it. Didn't you?"

Liara shut her eyes and drew in a sharp breath. Kaidan's heart beat in his throat, and he reached to touch her arm but stopped short. She looked him evenly in the eye.

"Being with you that way. It wasn't about drowning my feelings for Shepard. It was about my feelings for you, Kaidan. I wasn't using you."

"I …" he stammered and dropped his eyes.

His stomach churned. Nausea welled up his throat, and his mind splintered a thousand different directions.

"I … Liara, I don't know what to say. If I used you …" His voice strained. He swallowed. "I care so much about you. I would never mean to do that, but yet … I don't know. I truly didn't understand what I was doing. I get upset and try to stay in control, but I make decisions without thinking sometimes. Please …"

Liara's lips pressed into a thin line, and she sucked in a deep breath with a shudder. The line between Kaidan's eyebrows pinched tightened, and he took a step forward. Her hard, sharp eyes stopped him in place. He opened his mouth but didn't know what to say.

They stared at each other, and the wrinkles in her brow loosened. Her eyes widened little by little, and Kaidan touched the edge of his chin. His fingertips reflected in the low light, and his eyes snapped up to her face. Now it was even more embarrassing.

Liara hugged her middle. "This is because you still love Shepard?"

Kaidan shook his head breathing through his mouth. "It's because I can't stop. But I want to."

Liara touched his arm. Kaidan searched her eyes.

"Liara, you knew this already. You had to have felt it when we …"

"I love Shepard, too, Kaidan."

Kaidan dropped his eyes. "I know."

Her hand squeezed his arm. "Our love for Shepard's what we had in common on the Normandy. No one else really understood, but we had each other. Now time's passed though. How I feel about you - it surpasses the feelings I have for Shepard. Maybe you can't stop, but it doesn't mean you can't surpass it."

He looked up sharply. The thought of that gave him breath. It rolled around in his mind.

"I don't know," he said.

"Think about it then."

Kaidan eyed her. "I'm going to the Terminus System."

"I'm the shadow broker. Long as there's a comm buoy, I can go wherever I want."

"There isn't one. Not functional, anyway."

"Not yet. That's one of your priorities, isn't it?"

Kaidan nodded, and she smiled softly at him.

"I'll see you at the Summit," she said.

She touched the side of his face and then turned away. His heart thudded as he watched leave through the break in the hedge. Then he wandered back to the pool. He gazed down through his rippling reflection at the calico coy gliding and curving beneath.


	107. Chapter 107

**Chapter 38**

The tall, glass door between the columns slid open. Tali put her hands on her hips.

"Shepard, what are you doing here?"

"Too early?"

Tali pointed at the dark sky beyond the gravel landing pad.

"The sun isn't even up."

Shepard shifted in the doorway. "You were always early risers on the Normandy."

"We're lazy now. We like waking up closer to the sun rising than setting."

"Ah. Well …"

Tali stepped aside. "Come in. I'm already down here answering the door and awake. Garrus wanted to open a window and throw a shoe at you."

"Whose shoe?" Shepard stepped through the entryway.

"Couldn't agree on that part." Tali lead Shepard down the hallway. "That's why I came down to answer the door."

"So, I'm to thank your love of footwear for sparing me a dented forehead?"

"His aim isn't that good." Tali turned into the kitchen.

"I'd say 'I heard that,' but I'm pretty sure you meant me to." Garrus blew on the mug in his hand. He handed a steaming mug off the granite counter to Tali.

"How're you drinking that? A straw? Looks hot," Shepard lifted an eyebrow and strolled to the island counter. She dragged a stool out.

"Well, make yourself at home, Shepard," Garrus said.

He sipped off his mug.

"Whatcha got there?" Shepard asked.

Garrus held it out to her. It smelled like a bog. Shepard crinkled her nose and sat back.

"No thanks."

"Wasn't offering." Garrus clutched it in both hands. "Just had to show you it wasn't booze. Didn't want you wrestling it away from me."

"Good strategy. I won't."

Tali dug through a kitchen drawer, rattled it closed, and pulled out the next one down.

"I put your emergency induction ports in the counter cannister," Garrus said.

"Oh."

"And be careful." Garrus eyed her. "It is hot. Shepard's right about a few things."

"Every so often," Shepard said putting her elbows on the counter. She rested her chin in her hands. "Any non-dextran eatables around here?"

"Hmm." Garrus turned to the cupboard over the island. He set two wine bottles down in front of her.

"They're open," Shepard said.

"From the party."

Shepard swept them aside with the back of her hand. "How about non-alcohol?"

Garrus gasped and pressed a hand to his chest. His eyes and mouth stretched wide, and he froze. Shepard gazed back flatly.

"Tali?" she turned.

"Emergency induction ports. Ah ha." Tali drew a straw from a clear cannister. She glanced over at Shepard then paused to stare at Garrus.

"He's frozen in shock, because I turned down alcohol." Shepard waved absently.

Garrus's jaw loosened. He relaxed and brought the mug up to his mouth.

"That's all I was looking for."

"Yeah, well, I could have ignored you longer, but your swamp water was getting cold. I do have some heart since I woke you up."

"Yeah … about that." Garrus leaned back against the counter and crossed his ankles. "We bring your bombs in for you, hardly get to shoot any bad guys, and you're still here waking me up in the middle of the night."

"Me too," Tali said stirring her drink with the straw.

"Woke us both up," Garrus corrected.

"Thank." Tali tilted her head at him.

"Of course. Shepard's screwing with both of us."

"Hey." Shepard leaned forward on the counter. "You got to shoot more 'bad guys' than you have in years. Give me some credit for that."

Garrus shrugged. "Eh. I really like my sleep."

"Oh," Tali said suddenly and set her mug on the island.

She bent down and opened a lower cabinet.

"So …" Garrus rolled a hand in the air. "Why the early morning house call?"

"Well, we hadn't touched base after you got back on the train. How'd it go?"

Garrus looked at her blankly. "Really? You woke us up for a status report? You know the warhead were recovered, right? Defused?"

"Yeah."

"Then?"

Tali popped up and plonked a metal bowl in front of Shepard.

"Ta da?" Shepard asked. She looked down into the bowl with a frown. "Was this covered? Is it from the party? I don't remember pretzels."

"You remember everything from the party, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shepard said holding up a pretzel pinched between her fingertips.

"Went home a little tipsy," Garrus said.

Tali took a drink from her straw. "Nothing wrong with that."

"It is when you walk eleven kilometers to get home."

"I made it, didn't I?" Shepard tentatively bit off a corner of the pretzel.

"Yes, but you needed an escort."

"Escorted against my will." Shepard popped the rest of the pretzel in her mouth.

"Well, either way – an escort." Garrus shrugged. "Did you have it out with Alenko? Seemed like a scolded puppy dog when he came in. Sent Miranda after you. Must be some reason he didn't go himself. Though … if I had to walk over ten kilometers with Miranda or Kaidan for company … hmm … hard one."

"Kaidan," Tali chose. "We could talk Omni-Tools, warp core accelerators, and the new quantum drives in the Vestus II shuttles. Miranda? I … uh, I'm sure we'd find something to talk about."

"What about you, Shepard?" Garrus turned. "Oh, wait. We already know. Guess that leaves me to break the tie."

"We didn't 'get into it.'" Shepard put her finger into the bowl of the pretzels and spun it around on the countertop.

"Don't scatter them," Tali said lowering her mug.

"If one falls on the floor, I'll still eat it. Promise. I'm that hungry."

"Why didn't you eat earlier?" Tali asked. "You know we don't have your food here."

"I didn't come for food," Shepard said.

"Still in suspense over the reason," Garrus said watching her spin the bowl around her finger. He slapped a hand on top.

"Spoil sport." Shepard frowned.

"Yeah, answer the question, Shepard," Tali agreed.

"What?" Shepard put up her hands. "I can go." She flicked Garrus's hand off the pretzels. "I'm taking the pretzels though." She dug her fingers into the bowl and stood up.

Garrus drummed his talons on his mug and sighed. "Ugh. Just stay, Shepard."

"Oh, okay." Shepard hopped back onto her stool and put a handful of pretzels back in the bowl.

"I should have made you wait for it," Garrus chided himself. "You left me frozen for a good two minutes."

"Two minutes?" Shepard's face scrunched. "Ninety seconds, maybe."

"Two minutes or ninety seconds?" Garrus turned to Tali.

"Oh." Tali looked back and forth between them. "Definitely two minutes. Felt like three."

"What?" Shepard surged forward on her stool.

Garrus laughed.

"You weren't even paying attention," Shepard said.

"Only eye witness." Garrus thumbed his talon at Tali. "Judge is going with her statement."

"Biased testimony."

"Next time, you can line up an eyewitness you're sleeping with."

Shepard squinted at him with a frown. A scoop of pretzels crunched in her fist.

"Wow," she said.

"More useful tactic than money depending on circumstances," Garrus said.

Shepard put the whole handful of pretzels into her mouth and dusted her hands.

"Romantic," she said over the mouthful.

"And why couldn't she find someone at the bar?" Garrus turned to Tali and thumbed a talon at Shepard this time. "Who can resist that charm?"

"What?" Shepard picked at the small pieces of broken pretzel in the bowl. "I charm snakes right outta the basket."

"Huh?"

"Trust me. That was clever. Just made it up right now. Sounded kinda dirty though."

"Again," Garrus turned to Tali. "Irresistible."

"Why didn't you bring a date to the party?" Tali asked.

Tali set her mug in the sink. Garrus cradled his drink in both hands as Shepard gave them a shrug.

"Kaidan was going to be there," Shepard said. "Would have made things awkward."

"Hmm …" Garrus considered. "Think he'd really still get upset about that? Now that he and Liara …"

Shepard put up a hand. "I don't want to talk about it."

She reached forward and emptied the bowl into her palm. Just a lot of salt. She threw it back in her mouth anyway and munched it down.

"I mean," Shepard continued settling down on her stool. "It would upset him. I know it would."

Garrus gave a sidelong shrug, and Shepard frowned down at the countertop. Of course, it would have upset him. She felt sure. Although, maybe things were changing.

"Well," Garrus said. "Guess there's no reason to make him droopier that you already did."

"We talked after Shepard left," Tali said. "Talked about my ambassadorial duties. He seemed fine to me."

"Looked like a sad puppy when he first came in." Garrus turned to Shepard. "I'm using the human reference, puppy, just for you, Shepard."

"Oh," Tali said, "I was going to look that up later."

"We're going to know so much Earth, human stuff after this stint, Tali. Probably could coauthor a book."

"Something on fighting the reapers with Shepard might sell better," Tali said.

"Mercenary. I like it."

"I have a whole homestead to build."

"You mind us selling your story, Shepard?" Garrus turned to her. "We'll make you look good."

Shepard gave a shrug and tapped the counter with her fingertips. "I wasn't mean to Kaidan, you know. I hardly said anything. Told him I didn't need his help home."

Garrus took a final swig of his mug and handed it to Tali.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asked.

"Set it in the sink. You're right by it."

Tali sighed, and Garrus turned back to Shepard.

"Must have been the tone of voice then," he said.

"No tone." Shepard pointed at Garrus. "Kaidan's too sensitive if his feelings got hurt."

"You'd know more than us," Garrus said.

"I mean," Shepard sat up higher on her stool, "I touched base with him before the mission. Made sure things were good. He seemed just …"

'Fine' maybe wasn't the right word. In her mind, she saw him avoiding her eyes, his rigid posture on the shuttle ride, the silence as they waited in the council room for everyone to assemble, the bite in his voice when he'd left her.

"You falling asleep?" Garrus asked. "Been up all night?"

"Just thinking," Shepard said dropping to her feet from the stool.

"Where you going?"

"Uh …"Shepard paused. "Wake up another friend. Decided to start a streak."

"That so? Want to deliver …" Garrus looked around and settled on the two open wine bottles. "Yeah, this works. Why don't you deliver these to Jack."

"Jack?" Shepard pushed them away. "Why?"

"Curious how her middle-of the- night-hospitality matches ours. Thought you'd need an excuse for dropping in."

"Ha ha." Shepard waved a hand at him. "I wouldn't do that if I had 1000 credits to deliver."

"True. Probably get shot before the drop off no matter what you brought," Garrus mused.

"I bet Jack's still up," Tali said. "Knocking after dawn is the risky time. Then you'd be waking her up."

"Dawn did seem to be the magic hour. Jack and Vega sure can party." Garrus shook his head. "Next party's at your apartment, Shepard."

"Hardly an apartment. A room," Shepard said, "but it's an option, long as people don't mind talking with faces pressed together."

"You'd know they were listening," Tali said.

"And what they had for dinner," Garrus agreed. "Well, except for you, Tali,"

"I was just going to say that."

"I know, so I did it for you."

"Good to know chivalry isn't dead." Shepard rolled her eyes and pushed away from the counter. "Okay. Thanks for letting me wake you up. And the pretzels." Shepard pointed at Tali.

"No problem," Tali said. "Almost forgot about them. Could have gotten mice."

"Mice?" Garrus said. "Those the furry things that gnawed our speaker system?"

Tali nodded.

"Just happy to help," Shepard said. "And really, thanks."

She crossed the kitchen to the hallway.

"We'll be at the Summit geared up," Garrus said.

Shepard paused just short of the hall. "Don't get too excited. It's only for 'in case.'"

"I live for 'in case,'" Garrus said.

"When do you get your big Council award?" Tali asked.

Shepard shrugged. "When they call my name. Hope it's fast."

"It's a big honor," Garrus said. "Seriously, Shepard. The Council's never created an individual award for someone."

"It means something," Tali agreed.

Shepard looked down the hall. "Well … yeah. Means _something_." She waved a hand back at them and turned down the hall. "Thanks again. See you in a few hours."

"Why did you come? You really aren't going to tell us?" Garrus called after her.

"I was lonely," she called back and headed to the door.


	108. Chapter 108

**Chapter 39**

Kaidan wasn't in his room. The Summit was still hours away. He probably wouldn't have appreciated his sleep getting cut short. She should really be focusing on the Summit, anyway.

She slowed in the hallway. Her reflection looked back at her in the dark window. The Council and Alliance believed the Summit attack threat to be adverted, Terra Firma's leaders and the Scorpion removed. But something didn't feel right. She'd rationalized away her gut feeling on the Normandy with Commander Anchor and the station crew. She needed to trust herself.

The missing nuclear warhead is what bothered her. Kaidan was right. If they used it, they'd kill their members for kilometers around. It wasn't mentioned in the plans on that datachip, but her gut told her they had it. Questions rolled around her head. They'd killed everyone they could have questioned, except … Shepard stopped in place. Except for that boy.

 

* * *

 

Shepard flashed her Spectre ID and gave her passcode at the door to the detention cells. The C-Sec officer stepped aside and let her pass. Holding cells lined a shadowy hallway. Night time lighting gave everything an eerie, greenish tint as Shepard walked down the block. Spectre Taccus stood at the end of the cell block beside a solid metal door.

"Spectre Taccus," Shepard greeted from down the aisle.

Taccus looked up from a datapad. "Spectre Shepard. A surprise."

Shepard paused at a plexiglass cell along the row. A head of unruly brown hair poked out from the blankets. He was the only prisoner in the holding cells. Shepard continued down the aisle to Taccus.

"How is it?" Shepard asked.

Taccus glanced around them.

"Quiet. None of the C-Sec officers seem aware," he said in a low voice.

Shepard nodded to the metal door. "You spoken with him?"

"No one can speak with him." Taccus eyed her and tucked the datapad under her arm. Apparently, he was making ready if she wanted to dispute it.

"I didn't come to see him," Shepard said. "I came for the boy."

"The boy?"

Shepard pointed down the aisle.

"Ah," Taccus said. "The other detainee. Won't talk. Pretty beaten up. Medic's been in more than once. He's sleeping now, I think."

"I'm hoping he has some answers for me."

"Good luck. Alenko's already been here. Twice. From what I saw, didn't look like he was getting anything."

"Did the boy talk?"

"Not that I heard from here."

"Hmm." Shepard frowned down the aisle.

Taccus checked his Omni-Tool and sighed. "This is a long night. Guard duty. Life of the Spectre. Not so glamorous, is it?"

"Couldn't agree more."

"You're getting the Council's Laurel of Apotheosis for the crucible. Good work there, Spectre."

"Uh … thanks." Shepard's mouth tightened into a line. She glanced at the metal door again. "Any word yet? Found anything?"

"They're going through his files. Turned over his council offices. Haven't found anything, that I know of anyway."

"Who's heading it?"

"Ursul," Taccus said. "If I hear anything, I'll let you know."

"That's very cooperative of you."

"That's what Spectres should do. From what I know of you, Spectre Shepard, I hope you'd do the same. I won't let a bad experience with one human Spectre taint my opinion on all."

"Well, don't let it taint your opinion of him either. He's one of the most ethical people I know, and he's a damn fine soldier. Give him another chance. He won't let you down."

Taccus shrugged. "Perhaps. But we're square. I don't think I'll get much opportunity to let him prove himself, anyway. From what I hear, the Alliance is sending him to the Terminus System. Be years until I need to see him again."

"Terminus System?" Shepard's forehead scrunched.

"Repair the relay and comm buoy's. Take back Orian Station. Keep the Attican Transverse and Council Space from being scavenged by those lunatic in the Terminus System. He's taking a team of biotics. Directing the whole enterprise, I hear."

"He's a Spectre." Shepard shifted on her feet with a frown. "The Alliance can't send him away like that."

"The Council has interests near the Terminus System. I assume there will be a quantum communicator to get direction from the Council and Alliance. Probably more he can do there than elsewhere."

Heat perfused Shepard's face.

"Don't you and Alenko work together quite a bit?" Taccus said. "If he hasn't said anything, maybe I shouldn't have spoken."

"Where did you hear this?" Shepard said.

"It's going around the Alliance. Alenko said something about it when we spoke a few hours ago." Taccus eyed her. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, though."

"It's fine." Shepard spun away. "I'm going to talk to the boy."

Fingernails dug into her palms as her hands curled into fists at her side. She could feel Taccus's eyes on her back as she marched down the aisle to the boy's cell. She smacked a palm on the plexiglass. The head on the pillow jolted, but he didn't get up. She hit the glass again. The boy raised his hand. One finger.

"Hey," she said. "You talk, and we can work something out."

Nothing. Her eyes strayed to the cell's door. Storming into the cell and rattling him around was tempting, but it probably wouldn't produce much.

"You care about your family?" she asked.

No response.

"Tell me about the Scorpion."

He ignored her.

"The nuclear bomb."

He glanced up at her from his pillow, then he buried his head back down. Shepard leaned her face close to the glass.

"That interest you?" No answer. Shepard sighed and pushed back from the glass. "A nuclear warhead will kill everyone. The entire city. Even beyond. If you have family here …"

"They ain't nuclear," the boy murmured.

"What?" Shepard tapped the glass.

The boy sprang up. His face made Shepard's eyes widen. Dark bruises covered his entire face. One eye swelled shut. Medigel could only help so much. But he was alive, more than could be said for anyone else they'd run into.

"They ain't nuclear," the boy repeated.

"Not the ones on the train, no. But there's one missing. The nuclear warhead. Where is it?"

"There ain't a nuke," the boy said with clenched teeth. "The bombs only take down the target spots. That's it. I'm done talking."

"Saving the nuke for a rainy day then?"

He glared at her in silence. True to his word then. At least, so far.

"The nuke was lifted from the Shields right along with those two regular warheads. If you had two, you had three. Where is it?"

The boy scooted his back against the wall and stared at her blankly.

"Okay," Shepard sighed. "What about the Scorpion? I don't think your friends knew his real plan for the Summit meeting. Any reason he'd want your people dead? Any reason to turn against Terra Firma?"

The boy shrugged. It was some communication at least.

"Think the Scorpion knew your leaders were planning something for him?"

The boy frowned, but said nothing.

"Know anything about blue quartz? Some flooring?"

Blank stare.

"Fine." Shepard turned away. "You decide you don't want to die in a nuclear blast later today, ask for me. Shepard."

The boy sat forward. "Shepard?"

Shepard stopped. "Yes. That mean something to you?"

The boy settled back against the wall and crossed his arms. "Go to hell."

"Oh, a fan."

"Damn you to hell!"

He sucked up a wad of spit and spit it at the glass. Shepard grinned watching the spit run down the inside of the glass.

"I know birds don't see glass. And even though you're Terra Firma, I still though you were smarter than that."

The boy sprang from the bed and tore over to the plexiglass. Shepard stood taller and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Go ahead," Shepard said. "Knock yourself out. Take a swing at me. I even promise not to duck."

His bared his teeth. "Everything's hell, and you're the reason."

"Reason you're alive, you mean? Yeah, I guess I am."

"Not alive! Stuck with all the damned aliens using up every last thing we got left. Telling us what to do. Us bending over for them. Taking it up the ass."

"Colorful." Shepard tilted her head. "Now, where's the nuke?"

"There ain't any nuke!"

"That what your Terra Firma leaders say? What were they planning for the Scorpion?"

"The Scorpion's got the sky. We're taking Earth."

Shepard smiled brightly. "Really? Do go on."

The boy's eyes thinned.

"No, really. Continue. Your leaders worried the Scorpion will come back? That why you need to take him out."

She waited. Nothing.

"Your Scorpion was pretty sharp. Maybe he knew your guys were sticking it to him. Maybe he knew about that nuke too."

He crossed his arms and glared at her.

"No more poetic imagery?" Shepard asked. "I'll take more. Just answer my questions. What's the point in holding out? We have your plans on a datachip. We have your leaders."

"You got it all figured out. Why talk to me?"

"Because we're missing a nuke. And, if your people could count, you'd realize that too."

No response.

"Fine." Shepard stepped back. "If the Scorpion's still around, let him blow you, us, your friends, all of it to hell. One big party. Surprise party for your Terra Firma friends in town."

"Go to hell."

"You're getting stale." Shepard walked away. "I'll see you there. Scorpion's hosting."

"No one screws with the Scorpion!"

Shepard turned down the hall and held up her hand. One finger. Right back at you, kid.

 

* * *

 

Shepard lingered in the hallway outside the detention area. The boy was too low in the hierarchy to know anything anyway. He had confirmed that Terra Firma hated her. Anchor's offer to spare her during the Normandy attack, seemingly at the direction of the Scorpion, only pointed to desperate agendas. Despite the damn kid, Terra Firma wasn't going to win. That wasn't the heaviness that weighted in her chest.

She drifted to the hallway's glass wall. Stars glimmered in the darkness. So far away. A chill crept across her skin, and she drew in a deep breath. Time was slipping by, and she needed to focus on the real problems. The important problems. Screw the Terminus System.

She plunged down the hall. She needed somewhere to think, shake this feeling, clear her head. Her feet knew where she was going before her head did, before her heart did. An Alliance soldier stood guard outside the docking bay doors.

"Ma'am, excuse me," he said turning to meet her.

There was something vaguely familiar to his toad-like face. Short for a man.

"I'm the captain. Move."

"No, I'm sorry. Orders."

"Move aside. I'm a Council Spectre."

She shoved around him to the door, but the button was red and locked. Shepard moved to the side terminal.

"Let me in," she glanced over at him, "or I'll override it."

The man glared and clicked up a screen on his Omni-Tool. "I'm calling Alliance security. The dry dock is sealed by the Admiral Board."

"It's my damn ship."

"Sorry. No entrance. It's still an investigative crime scene. Only a flight admiral or Spectres Viccus or Ursul can – wait! Where are you going?"

Shepard stormed past and swung around the hallway corner. She could contact the Spectres, but there was no point. A few hours sitting on the grounded Normandy, staring out the windows at the docking bay walls, wasn't going to change this rudderless feeling. She could rest in her room, but it seemed so dark and sterile. Alone.

She wasn't far from the Summit's assembly hall. Outside the main entrance, sleepy-eyed reporters were already setting up camera equipment and going over notes on their datapads. Face perked at her footsteps, but she kept her eyes fixed ahead and put up a hand when one of them tried to rush her. Through the two-story glass sliders, a carpeted hall, wide enough for a parade of shuttles, illuminated a trail to the auditorium, but Shepard turned to the side. Guard hefted their rifles and nodded at her as she punched a key into a side door and entered through a back hall.

Past the rows and aisle of seats stood the stage. Polished blue quartz and marble shined in the stage lights. As directed, Oriana's statue stood in the stage's center surrounded by velvet ropes. Shepard moved down a side aisle as it sloped to the foot of the stage. The hollow, dead eye of the geth burned into her, and she had to tear her eyes away with a hard swallow to keep from turning around.

Movement caught her eye at the base of the stage, and she slowed. He was the only one in the auditorium, a small figure below the stage with his back turned. Her footsteps felt too loud as they echoed ahead of her down the aisle. Kaidan turned his head just enough to catch a flash of his profile before he turned back to the stage.

"Hey." She came up beside him.

"Hey."

He stared at the stage, a few meters in front of them at mid-chest level. Aside from the glint of overhead lights and the statue, there wasn't much to see. She glanced sideways at him. He hadn't looked at her once, except for the half-glance to see her coming down the aisle.

"I stopped by your room, but you weren't there," Shepard said. "Can't sleep?"

"No."

Shepard pressed her lips together and nodded.  "Met your kid in the brig. Told me to go to hell and a few other choice things."

"More than I got."

"He turned more talkative when I told him my name."

Kaidan nodded absently and glanced over at her. "Didn't get anything from him then?"

"There ain't any nuke," Shepard repeated and strolled to the stage. "That's all. Then a 'go to hell,' 'damned to hell,' then back to 'go to hell,' and something about getting it up the ass. Can't remember specifically."

"A long talk. Must like you."

"We got on." Shepard pressed her back against the stage facing him.

Kaidan folded his arms and looked away. "You're looking for me. What do you need?"

"Need?" Shepard put her elbows up behind her on the stage and hung her hands over the side. Her fingers drummed the edge of the stage. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah?" He sighed, eyes shifting to her face. "What about?"

"Well." She picked at a rough spot on the edge of the stage with one hand. "I thought there may be some hard feelings."

"I already told you. I want everything to be comfortable, same as you."

"Is it comfortable?" Shepard asked. "Are you comfortable, Kaidan?"

"Look, Shepard. What do you want from me?"

He turned away and walked to a seat in the front row. He dropped down in it, elbows on the armrest. He rested his temple against his fingertips and looked at her.

"Kaidan." Shepard laughed through a frown and stood away from the stage. She stopped short under his gaze. "You're really upset, aren't you?"

He dropped his hand and straightened in his seat but didn't say anything. Shepard sat next to him.

"Hey," Shepard said. "I didn't mean the things I said outside the party. I had too much to drink."

Kaidan held her eye. "Didn't mean them? Or didn't mean to say them?"

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes, there's a difference, Shepard."

She slouched back in her seat and looked at him. "I didn't mean them."

"And before the mission? You didn't mean that either, I suppose."

"Kaidan, really? What did I even say?" Shepard sat forward. "That I wanted things to be comfortable?"

"I don't know, Shepard. It's fine." He stood up. "If you didn't mean it, then I accept that."

Shepard studied him with narrow eyes. "Somehow, Kaidan, I don't believe you."

Kaidan twisted away with a sharp breath and paced a few steps away. Shepard strained forward in her seat to see him.  He steepled his fingers over the bridge of his nose and close his eyes. Bulky stage lights hummed overhead. 

Shepard hunched over her knees and intertwined her hands.  "You still have a headache?"

Kaidan's hands dropped, and he turned back to her. "Shepard, listen - we're good. I'm not lying. I want everything to go smoothly. I don't have anything against you."

"Kaidan, come on." Shepard stood. "We're friends. Don't make it all … artificial."

"Shepard …"

"Or are we not friends now? I've done something, and you say we're good but in a professional sense."

Kaidan's eyes had a flatness as he looked back at her. "I'm having a bad night. We're both tired."

"Kaidan." She came up to him. "I'm sorry. I think you're not forgiving me, because I'm not recognizing what I did wrong. Tell me what I did wrong, I'll own it. I just want things to be okay again."

"Maybe things can't be okay again, Shepard."

"Why not?"

Kaidan walked to the stage. He stretched his arm out and rested a palm on the stage. "Let's just focus on the Summit. This can all wait."

Shepard stepped up beside the stage. "What about the Terminus System?"

"Ah."

"Ah? Why didn't you tell me?"

Kaidan slid his hand off the stage and turned to her. "If it came up, I would have told you. Does it matter?"

"It matters to me." Shepard touched his arm.

He moved back. "Come on, Shepard. Stop playing with me."

"Playing with you?" She frowned. "That's what you think? I'm playing with you?"

"Let's just … not talk about this now." He turned away and strode to the auditorium's main aisle.

Shepard caught up with him. "Kaidan, please."

He stopped. She rounded him and turned to face him. His face looked distant.

"Just let me go," he said. "We won't get anywhere with this."

"Kaidan …"

He looked away, crossing his arms, but didn't move to leave again.

"Hey." She tried to catch his eye. "Kaidan, you're the one person I'm closest to out of everyone."

He met her eyes.

"Listen." She stepped closer. "I'm sorry. Was it asking about Liara? I shouldn't have, okay?"

He didn't say anything.

"Say something," she said.

"Shepard, I'm not hurt you asked. I was willing to talk to you. It was your reaction."

"Kaidan …"

Kaidan waited, but there wasn't anything for her to say. What reaction? Hell, she'd only wanted to leave and stop prying into his business. She'd tried to put off the conversation. It was no different than what he'd just been doing to her now.

Kaidan sighed. "Okay," he said and passed around her.

She turned. "Kaidan …"

"'Kaidan' what?" He swung around.

"Don't go."

"Don't go?" He shifted on his feet. "Shepard, if I don't go, we'll only regret what we say to each other. Or … I'll regret it. You'll probably just need to give me another 'touching bases, keeping your eyes on the goal' dressing down."

"Dressing down?" Shepard frowned. "Hell. You're being way too sensitive."

"Fine." Kaidan extended his arms. "I'm too sensitive. Problem solved. Let's just meet up at the Summit, pretend like this never happened, keep our eyes on the goal, and go our separate ways. I won't bother you by forcing my help on you."

"Damnit, Kaidan. Cool down. That's not what I want."

"What do you want then, Shepard?"

Shepard took a deep breath. His face was so flushed. At least, he wasn't looking away anymore. It was better than the silence. You couldn't get anywhere with that. Kaidan sighed and scuffed his boot on the floor.

"Right," he said finally. "Keep things comfortable, I forgot. Sorry if this disturbed you."

He swung away and strode down the aisle toward the auditorium doors. Shepard stood paralyzed watching him go. In seconds, he'd reach the door and be gone. Maybe gone forever after that. At the party, watching him with Liara, she'd felt this same sting realizing she'd lost him, angry that it should matter. She'd lost him, a part of him, the part he'd given up, but not all of him. If he left now though, maybe she'd lose everything.

"Kaidan." She ran after him. "I was upset over Liara."

He stopped.

"It …" Shepard grit her teeth but pressed on. "It killed me."

She slowed to a stop behind him. It was easier saying it to the back of his head than to his eyes.

"I want to be over it, okay? But I felt hurt. I asked a question when I wasn't ready for the answer."

Kaidan turned, eyes distant but softened. "Shepard, I didn't give you an answer."

She pushed on. It was harder now that he faced her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I took it out on you, but I wasn't upset with you. I was angry with myself. I want the best for you, Kaidan. Whatever," she swallowed, "whoever that is. I don't want you to be alone."

"Shepard." He took a step closer. "I don't want that for you either."

Shepard strained a smile. "People come and go. There'll always be more, but you're different than me, Kaidan. You're not meant to be alone. It isn't right for you."

"It's right for you then? I don't believe that."

"I'm not trolling for pity, Kaidan. It's cyclical for me, always has been. It works out in the end. But you deserve something different."

"Cyclical?" Kaidan said.  "What does that even mean?"

Shepard shrugged. She followed the aisle lights with her eyes up to the main doors and took a step back. Kaidan frowned at the floor in concentration.

"Kaidan, you look wiped out. I'm good. You're good. Go rest, eat, or whatever. I think we're okay, right?"

He looked up sharply. "Cyclical. Like Mindoir and Akuze, you mean?"

Breath stiffened in her lungs. She stared at him.

"That is what you meant, right?" he said.

"I …"

"It's not like that, Shepard." He came closer. "You're not losing everyone, starting over."

"Kaidan, I … I didn't say I'm losing everyone. Or anyone."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I just said it off hand." Shepard sighed and turned down the aisle to the stage.

His footsteps followed slowly behind her. She reached the stage and turned with a half-growl.

"Kaidan, go do whatever it was you were leaving to do. Rest, have breakfast, or something."

She turned and pulled herself up backward to sit on the edge of the stage.

"What about you?" he asked.

"I'm wide awake, and I'm not hungry."

"Aw, right." He stood in front of her. "Are you worried about everyone leaving?"

"Worried? No. It's normal. Everyone goes their own way. That's what happens. It's good."

"Shepard, you said yourself how the war and everything we've been through brought us – all of us – together. Forged us. Solar systems, months, and years between won't change that. You're not losing everyone. This isn't a restart."

"Maybe, but that's not how it feels. But it's normal, like I said." She leaned back on her hands and blinked into the glare of the massive spotlights mounted to the ceiling. "Sometimes I think though …" She glanced at him. His eyes were fixed on her. "You know I was meant to die on the crucible, right? Sometimes I think – wonder - if everything that's followed is just some swan song. Never meant to be, so it feels wrong. My implants weren't meant to bring me this far. It's unnatural, and I can't find any peace in it."

"No." Kaidan leaned into the stage next to her legs. "You've said this before, but I don't think it's true. What's meant to be is what happens, if there's any meaning to it at all. You fought for so long, so hard, and now you're on the other side. It's resolved. You lost the purpose that was leading you on. That's why you feel lost. Find purpose again, Shepard. Maybe it's not where you think. You don't want to be a politician, ride a desk, I get it. But maybe it's time to stop sleeping in the back row."

"I don't actually—"

"I know." Kaidan rested his elbow on the stage. "I know you speak up and you're there, but stop taking directions from them. Tell them what you want to do. When you find it. You have the Normandy. You have people that love you, respect you. You can do a lot more than you're doing now. I think you know it. That's why you're restless."

Shepard stared out at the rows of empty seats still leaning back on her palms. A hand covered hers.

"And you're not alone, Shepard. Everyone will want to hear from you."

Shepard glanced down. "Even in the Terminus System?"

"Especially in the Terminus System." He drew his hand back. "I still care about you, Shepard, whatever it sounded. I'll always have your back, you know that. And I'll always want to hear from you."

She held his eye. "Thanks, Kaidan."

"Just need the buoy up," he added.

He smiled back at her softly, and it finally felt real again. That familiar warmth tinted his eyes as he gazed back at her. She still felt the echoing touch of his palm on the back of her hand and wanted to feel it again – just for a second, nothing more – but he dropped his elbow off the stage and straightened his slouch against the stage.

"So, what're you doing here?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan's eyes shifted to the stage. "Worried."

She nodded silently. She studied the line scrunching between his eyes as he stared at the stage.

"Been practicing your barrier?" she asked.

"A little." He smiled up at her lopsidedly. "That damn train didn't leave me much to work with. Even now, I can feel it - the strain - but I've been trying."

"And?"

"I can wrap it but," he shook his head and stared back at the floor, "it's not like yours, Shepard. I can't get the weave tight enough. It's like pulling a knit cap over too large of a head - the threads pull apart and expose these gaps. I don't know …"

"You're wrung out."

"Maybe part of it, not all of it. I'm not you, Shepard."

He placed his palm on the blue quartz of the stage's surface and flared blue. A barrier flickered over his skin and spread out from his hand. Static tingled under her legs as the energy crackled across the stage floor. Her lips widened in to a grin that strained her cheeks, and she pressed her palm to the snapping surface of the floor. Her skin glowed, and she pushed out with her barrier.

It was easy like she remembered with his barrier. She rarely fortified someone's shield or barrier. Creating the barrier itself, the infrastructure, was easier than the interweaving and strengthening. Driving your energy through the barrier's layers, digging and prying into the fabric, could weaken and tear it. But if you didn't interweave enough, it didn't strengthen. She wasn't alone in not being proficient. Few biotics were.

The barrier's weaves loosened as she pushed through. His strands looped and opened to bring her fibers through. Rather than remaining a static matrix as she wove through, his energy intertangled and pulled in hers. It was as easy as always. It wasn't raw power, but skill. She was so-so at best in strengthening barriers. Kaidan was better, but this – being able to help the one strengthening you, to keep the infrastructure while reaching out to meld into the fortification – that, was something on a whole different level. All the team building exercises on Jump Zero weren't wasted on him. The floor's glow deepened into a cobalt as their blurred energies solidified into a solid piece.

Kaidan focused on his palm with a squinted-eyed concentration. Shepard studied him, her cheeks aching from the smile. She caught his eyes, and he looked up with a broadening grin.

"We're good at this," Shepard said.

"Yeah, we are." He laughed lightly and looked back at his hand. His fingers splayed out on the granite. "Still, I think I'd rather not show off."

"Yeah, me too."

She held the barrier relishing the intense familiarity and closeness of their melded fields – their energies sparking against each other, beating at the same rhythm, a sense of him shivering in her chest. Kaidan frowned at his palm though, and she felt the strain too - that jittery feeling slowly welling up in her bones. She lifted her hand.

"Are you hungry?" Shepard asked and drew her hand back into her lap.

The barrier collapsed. Kaidan let out a long breath and stepped back from the stage. His eyes moved up to her face.

"It's the middle of the night," he said.

"You like eggs, right?"


	109. Chapter 109

**Chapter 40**

"You ate a lot for not being hungry," Kaidan said standing up from the couch in Shepard's quarters.

He reached over the wine glasses and grabbed her plate off the glass coffee table. The fork scrapped across the plate's surface as he walked over to the sink. He glanced over his shoulder to see her twisting to watch him over the back of the couch.

"Between our two appetites," she said, "the chicken came damn close to extinction tonight."

Kaidan clattered the dishes into the sink. "Think that's what happened to Earth's dinosaurs?"

"Depends on how good their eggs were scrambled."

"A fair point. Probably not a lot of Neanderthals recovering from biotic fatigue though."

Kaidan turned on the faucet.

"Kaidan, just come back over here."

"Why?" He glanced over his shoulder. "Takes two minutes."

"You're showing me up in front of my hamster, Kaidan. Now he'll know it takes two minutes to clean a dish instead of a week. Those beady eyes are going to judge me."

"Just be glad I'm not showing you up in front of some fish too."

He stacked the last plate by the sink to dry and wiped his hands on a dish towel. He nodded at the hamster cage standing on an end table beside her desk.

"That's the judgmental hamster? Same one I'm to 'beware of'?"

"Your fear's blood in the water, Kaidan." Shepard slouched against the couch's armrest with an arm draped over the back cushions. "You may have impressed him with your dishwashing skills, but at the end of the night, he's still loyal to me."

Kaidan tossed the dish towel on the counter and crossed back to the couch. "Hope your faith isn't misplaced, Shepard. Hate to see you get double-crossed by a hamster."

"It would be a low point."

Shepard pulled her knees up as Kaidan fell onto the opposite end of the couch.

"Tired?" she asked.

"Yeah. No use now." He checked his Omni-Tool. "Four hours."

"Any ideas for finding a missing nuke?"

"We could start tearing HQ apart indiscriminately."

"If we knew it was here."

"If we knew Terra Firma really had it."

Kaidan slumped further into the couch and rested his head back against the cushion. The sky was lightening faintly in front of them. A spectrum from pale navy at the top of the window darkened into a black on the horizon.

"Hey." Shepard poked him with her bare foot.

Kaidan's head tipped over lazily to look at her.

"I have sharpies," she said.

"Just make it dressy enough for the Summit. You owe me that much."

"So, the black sharpie, not the orange?"

"Obviously, and not a curly mustaches or handlebars. A goatee or something classy."

"A classy sharpied goatee?"

"That's all I ask."

Shepard scooted into the middle of the couch and wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Hey. You really think Lieutenant Mason was the Scorpion?"

Kaidan glanced over at her. "I don't know. What do you think?"

"I think they're a lot of holes."

Kaidan straightened in his seat. "I do too. The Scorpion wouldn't have been invited to that meeting. They had something up their sleeve for him."

"If the Scorpion's still free," Shepard said, "what happens? He'll have pieced together what happened to the Alliance moles."

Kaidan put his arm across the back of the couch and settled into the corner. "If he knew about their duplicity, maybe the Scorpion was using them back this whole time. The datachip shows they didn't know about the floor. The Scorpion's motives may never have been the same as Terra Firma's."

"You still think revenge?"

"Why not?" Kaidan shrugged. "Why have the floor at all? A bomb would be easier, if it's just about taking out your enemies. Instead he get to see their fear, demonstrates his supremacy, uses them as an example with the entire galaxy is watching."

Shepard rested her chin on her knees. "If that's true, it's about more than Terra Firma's cause. It's about the Scropion's own cause. We were worried about scaring him off, but maybe he doesn't even care about the wider attack. He doesn't need to regroup and plan another strike, he only cares about his own agenda and what happens onstage."

"And the floor is still there."

"Think he has the nuclear warhead?" Shepard asked.

"Yes."

Shepard's face stiffened.

"I think he intercepted his package," Kaidan said.

"Return to sender?"

Kaidan nodded. "You showcase yourself singlehandedly killing a roomful of the galaxy's most important people, you don't just slink away."

Shepard sighed and hugged her knees in tighter. "Escape the city leaving a nuclear warhead to drive your point home? It would teach a lot of people a lesson. But," she lifted her chin and looked at him, "we stop the Scorpion on stage, act two doesn't happen."

A chill ran ran through his veins. It must have shown on his face.

"Kaidan," Shepard said. "We can do this. We'll stop him."

The solid look in her eyes made his breath release, and he gave her a slow nod. She'd accomplished the impossible so many times.  He'd trusted her through all that. A corner of her lip curled up.  She hugged her knees studying him.

His gaze drifted back to the window. In less than twenty-four hours, they'd be on the other side. Everything he'd worked toward the last year would have an answer. Win or lose. And they had to win. They couldn't have won the war just to lose the whole point in winning it. Though, that was narrow minded. He frowned. There was more beyond Earth. Even the beyond the Council, all the alien leaders, the greatest minds in the galaxy - there was still life beyond Sol. The war was always still worth the winning.

His eyes focused on the reflection staring back at him in the dark glass – Shepard beside him on the couch - and the air congealed in his throat. In less than twenty-four hours, they were done working together. For a long time. Maybe forever.

"Kaidan." Shepard dropped her legs into an Indian style sit.

"What? I'm not falling asleep. Just thinking."

"Can I sit next to you?"

Kaidan's brow pinched. "You are sitting next to me."

Shepard's legs slid off the couch, and she scooted up against him.  He sat up taller, spine straightening, and folded his arm in on the back of the couch.  She tucked under his arm and rested against him lightly as if hesitant to settle her full weight. He gazed down at her, brushing his fingertips across his lips, and taking tight, shallow breaths. The vanilla scent of her hair pounded blood through his veins, and her eyelashes blinked softly as she stared out the window. Warmth expanded and contracted against his side with each of her breaths.  He pulled his fingertips from his lips. Slowly, he lowered his arm and slid it down around her shoulders. He forced his breathing to slow, his body throbbing with his heartbeat.

Her warmth, her smell, the weight of her against his side - it felt like before. It made him feel heady and alive, but 'before' was a long time ago. Years now even. So much lost time. It was another lifetime when he'd served under her command on the Normandy SR-1. So brief in the scheme of things. Coming together just in time to be torn apart. All those lost years as time just bleed away. Then to find each other again and be together during the war.  This impossible thing he'd yearned for through all those nights in the dark alone, picking at old wounds he was afraid to let heal. Then, he'd lost it again. Lost her. Again.

That night in Anderson's apartment all those years ago, she'd broken down in front of him. The only time he'd seen her cry. She'd wanted something she couldn't have, but wasn't this it? Not countering a terrorist attack, but the being normal, together, happy. Their future had unfurled in front of him, their whole life together - things they'd do and see, laughter and probably heartache, a shared life defined by the same experiences. All those hopes,dreams, plans, and longings welled up inside him. But dreams are just dreams.  What Shepard dreamed didn't have a place for him.

Shepard tucked her feet up and slouched into him. Her face turned into his chest, and an arm slid across his stomach. It pulled him in tight, and his heart fluttered in his throat. He settled into the couch and rested his head back on the cushion. Maybe James was right. He should just live in the moment. Anything else just made him sad.


	110. Chapter 110

**Chapter 41**

Kaidan cracked his eyes open. He blinked into the sunlight. A warm weight shifted against his chest, and he remembered.

"Shepard!"

She lifted her head leaving a cold spot on his chest.

"What? Oh!" She jolted upright. "Damnit! What time is it?"

She turned on her Omni-Tool. Kaidan leaped up from the couch.

"The Summit starts in an hour!" Shepard scrambled to her feet. "I have messages."

Kaidan checked his Omni-Tool. "Me too."

"Damnit." Shepard touched her face then hair. "I need to get ready. I have to go on stage."

She rushed to the bathroom. Her footsteps faltered as she reached the doorway, and she stopped short.

"Kaidan." She turned back sharply.

He slowed halfway to the front door. She leaned an arm against the doorway.

"I want to make sure we're on the same page. About last night … we're still both Alliance soldiers."

"Shepard, don't give me the talk again." Kaidan pressed fingertips to his temple. "I get it. I know where we stand."

She tapped her nails on the metal door frame and studied him.

"Still," she straightened, "I don't want to confuse you. Things probably feel mixed, but they're not. No changes. Same course."

Kaidan crossed his arms. "Are we done?"

"Hey, I'm not trying to upset you again," she took a step forward, "but I don't want you to think I'm playing with you either. I want to set things straight to avoid that. And … I'm sorry. Now that I'm thinking about it, I realize the mixed—"

"Shepard." He sighed. "I don't want to rehash this. I get what you're saying. I like spending time with you. We're friends. Let's leave it at that."

Shepard narrowed her eyes on him. "We're okay?"

A memory of Liara in the Alliance gardens made his stomach turned. He'd done the same thing, worse even. Mixed signals and excuses.

"We're okay." Kaidan gave her a quick smile.

"Okay." Shepard backed up and pointed a finger at him. "You better mean it. No freezing me out."

"I mean it." Kaidan's Omni-Tool buzzed. He checked it. "James."

"Answer it," Shepard said. "Tell him I'm coming."

The bathroom door shut. Kaidan punched up the audio comm on his Omni-Tool.

"James."

"L2. Damn, hombre. You're a hard guy to find."

"Hey. I'm on my way."

"You seen Shepard? The admirals, Councilors, everyone's looking for her."

"She's coming." Kaidan moved to the front door and hovered a hand over the button. "Just get everyone around. I'll be right there."

"Comprende. I'll tell 'um to stop printing milk cartons with your face."

"Thoughtful."

"Seriously though, L2. You got people looking for you."

"I'm on my way."

Kaidan punched it off and hit the button for the door. Kaidan stepped forward as the doors slid aside. He froze. Admiral Wilson's hand paused halfway to the door's buzzer. His eyes popped wide, and a frown burrowed deep between his eyebrows as he held Kaidan in his stare.

"Major Alenko."

Kaidan took a step back. They'd nearly collided.

"Admiral Wilson."

Wilson glanced past Kaidan and returned a hardening expression. "Where's Commander Shepard?"

A man's voice came from down the barrack hallway. "You found her?"

Admiral Hackett strode into view. His eyes met Kaidan's, and his feet tripped. Kaidan's face burned. Hackett's jaw set, and he cast Wilson a sideways look before tugging on his uniform jacket and facing the door.

"We've been looking for you," Hackett said. "Both of you."

"I'm on my way," Kaidan said.

"An hour before the Summit's opening ceremony?" Wilson's voice held an edge. "As a Council Spectre, you should have been there long before this. Shepard too. Where is she?"

"She's coming," Kaidan said. "She'll be there soon. I had better—"

"Wait." Wilson stopped Kaidan mid-step.

Kaidan looked to Hackett, but the admiral's face hardened and he dropped his eyes.

"Get Shepard," Wilson said. "She's in there? These are her quarters, correct?"

Kaidan's heart pumped, but Hackett wasn't looking at him and Wilson's glare sharpened. Kaidan backed up into the room and walked to the bathroom door. He tapped his knuckled on the door. Water ran on the other side. She must be showering. This was shaping up great.

"Shepard."

The water stopped.

"Kaidan?"

She wouldn't come out in a towel, would she? They weren't involved anymore but … oh hell, what if she did? He'd better warn her. He had to say something.

"Shepard." He leaned in closer to the door. "The admirals are here."

"What?"

Hackett and Wilson loitered just inside the doorway. The front door slid shut behind them. They must have walked in while he was still turned to the bathroom door. From the dark look on Wilson's face, they'd heard what Kaidan had said. Wilson knew it was a warning for her. It probably made Kaidan look guilty. Still, it was better than if she came out unprepared.

Kaidan should say something maybe. Something along the lines of 'this isn't what it looks like.' But with their stormy expressions, it wouldn't help. It might open up the flood gates instead. Even Hackett by himself, probably wouldn't be convinced. The regs said fraternization was being 'unduly familiar.' It didn't say you had to have slept with someone per se. The whole situation was wrong - late for the Summit, unreachable in her apartment in the early morning as she took a shower, and then coupled with their history. Damn, maybe the truth was bad. It was bad in it of itself, even without the assumptions.

He should have thought about this last night. The risk had felt so removed. The admirals stared around the room. They eyed the pair of drinking glasses on the coffee table next to the open wine bottle. Kaidan touched his forehead and glanced under his hand at Shepard's bed. Let it be made. It was for the most part. At least, not disheveled. Kaidan snapped his eyes back to the admirals. Wilson's stare burned into him. His eyes shifted to the bed and back to Kaidan. He'd seen Kaidan looking then. Damnit. Kaidan was falling apart. Where the hell was Shepard? The bathroom door opened.

Shepard stepped out of the bathroom. A steamy shampoo smell puffed out around her. Her rustled hair dripped onto a white tank top. It was more of an undershirt. It clung to her damp skin almost translucent.

"Kaidan. What did you …" The towel hanging in her hand dropped to the floor. "Admiral Wilson. Admiral Hackett."

She shuffled back a few steps into the bathroom and snatched her white uniform shirt from the counter. She slipped it over her head. She must not have heard him then. Apparently Kaidan was loud enough for the admiral to hear him, but not loud enough for the person he actually meant to warn. Still, this was better than the towel. He just had to hang on to that.

Shepard's blue eyes flicked sideways to Kaidan before focusing back on the admirals. She scrunched her hair with one hand.

"This is a surprise."

"Clearly," Hackett said.

His gaze cut over to Kaidan, and his lips tightened.

"I'm on a timetable," Shepard said, "but what can I do for you?"

"Timetable?" Wilson's face radiated. "Tell me, Shepard, what kind of timetable are you on? No one could get ahold of you or Alenko for hours."

Shepard strolled to her dresser. She grabbed her hairbrush off the top and shoved her bare feet into her boots. She didn't even tie the laces.

"Let's go then." She motioned with her hairbrush and strode toward the door.

"Commander Shepard," Wilson snapped as she passed him.

Shepard paused at the front door. "That's why you're here, right? Looking for me for the Summit. Probably hoping to talk me into being the alternate. Answer's still 'no' while we're worried about Terra Firma. But for now, I'm saying I'm ready. We should go, admirals."

Wilson's jaw flexed, face red, fist clenching and unclenching at his side. Hackett watched Wilson silently then cleared his throat.

"Commander Shepard's right. We found them. They're needed at the Summit. We can discuss the alternate position with her later. The Council's waiting for them."

Wilson stormed up to Shepard. "You may be a Council Spectre and so may Alenko. But you're not above Alliance authority, living by your own law. If you can't sit in our hierarchy, stand under the same protocol as every other Alliance soldier, you have no business in that uniform." Wilson swung to face Kaidan. "And you, Alenko! You're still on probation following your suspension."

Admiral Hackett's eyes widened and flashed to Kaidan. He rushed to Wilson.

"Admiral …" he said.

Wilson's voice drowned out Hackett as his eyes darted between Kaidan and Shepard. "Not only breaking regulations, but you flaunt them! And you've caused the very thing those regulations exist to prevent. This has affected your work performance, caused burden and disruption, embarrassed the Alliance. Your 'distraction' has jeopardized this entire operation. You're both—"

"Admiral," Hackett repeated raising his voice.

"This?" Shepard said waving between them. " _This_ is what is distracting from the operation. I have obligations to the Council. This can wait."

She slammed a fist into the door's button and threw a look over her shoulder at Kaidan.

"Come on."

Kaidan's legs moved like sandbags, and he stumbled to the door. He let the admirals file through the door first. Hackett patted Kaidan's shoulder with a sigh as he passed, but Kaidan couldn't meet his eyes. Hackett's long, heaving sigh rang in his ears as Kaidan turned down the hall. He jogged to catch up with Shepard and fell in beside her as she turned a corner. A slow, rattling breath escaped through his lips as his heart pounded in his ears.

"You all right?'' Shepard glanced over at him.

"No."

She sighed and picked up their pace.

"Why are two admirals the ones looking for us anyway? Admirals!" she mumbled. "Talk me into be alternate, so they can shove some Alliance agenda down my throat then throw me up on stage."

"Maybe I should have said something," Kaidan said.

"And say what?" Shepard said. "Say anything, it's admitting you think there's something needing to be explained. Better to act naïve. Ignore it."

"You don't think there'll be blowback on that?"

They turned down the Council wing. The Councilors should be in their chamber. Some of the messages had said as much.

"I don't know," Shepard said finally. "Let's just hope … well, we'll take it as it comes. We have the Summit to focus on. They were right about one thing. We should have been here sooner."

"Yeah," Kaidan said with a dry throat.

He'd become so irresponsible. All the stupid things he'd done lately. People were probably already filling the Summit's auditorium. The stage was right there - exposed, except for the kinetic shield. Nothing must have happened yet, there wasn't any commotion, but people could have been hurt because of him.

"Shepard, I'm going to keep an eye on the stage. Check in with the Council for me."

Shepard nodded. "Check in with you later, Kaidan."

He jogged down a side hall toward the swell of voices and activity. It was finally here.


	111. Chapter 111

**Chapter 42**

"Miranda!" Shepard rushed over. "So glad to see you."

Miranda clicked across the Summit's crowded back stage. "Glad to see me, Shepard? Or your dress uniform?"

Shepard snatched the hanger from her. The roar of voices from the auditorium around the corner felt like a ticking clock. Shepard darted though the crowd of award recipients and past the buffet table.

"That Alicia Mason?" Miranda asked.

"Uh, probably. Getting some award," Shepard said.

"Wrote a brilliant paper on cross-species transplant. Her work was innovative for medic supplies and protocol. Finally, someone's getting an award for something more having a fast trigger finger. Surprised she's here with her brother and father …"

"Sick?" Shepard said quickly and nodded as they passed two Alliance officers in dress uniform. "I'm a little surprised myself. Must be an important award."

Shepard's eyes keyed in on the back hall off the reception area.

"Don't forget our picture together, Shepard," a smooth voice said.

Shepard stopped short. Miranda stumbled against her. A slender figure lounged on a sofa against the wall.

"Aria?" Shepard said. "Hey. You know, I actually needed to talk to you."

"Shepard, the Summit's starting in minutes," Miranda murmured in her ear.

Aria ran her eyes up and down Miranda before turning to Shepard with a smirk. "Better mind your celebrity handler, Shepard."

Shepard checked the time on her Omni-Tool and gave a growl. She pointed at Aria. "Later. I have a proposition you're going to like. There's someone I need to run it by, but—"

"Shepard," Miranda hissed.

"Later." Shepard pointed at Aria again.

Aria returned a lazy shrug. Shepard turned away with a skip and rushed toward the back hallway. She slipped out of the crowd and around the back corner into a dark hall.

Miranda squinted standing at the corner. "What's back here?"

"It's labeled." Shepard pointed at the exit sign glowing at the end of the hallway. She dropped the hangered dress uniform on the floor and untucked her shirt. "Be my lookout."

"You're changing here? Really, Shepard?"

"I don't have time."

Miranda sighed, hand on her hip, and tipped her head back to look out at the crowd.

"You look unkept," Miranda said turning back to her.

"That's what I'm trying to rectify."

Shepard threw her pants against the wall. They slid on to a heap atop her discarded shirt.

"If we'd taken the first corner, Shepard, you could have warmed up the crowd for the Councilors' entrance."

"I was waiting for you to say something like that."

Shepard lifted the hanger of clothes off the floor.

Miranda sighed. "They're probably wrinkled now."

"Five-second rule." Shepard stripped a dress shirt off the hanger. "See? Just fine."

"Can you even tell in the dark? The councilor next to you onstage is going to be pointing out the wad of chewing gum on your sleeve."

"You can give me the once over."

"And if you don't pass? The Plan B you just took off is now also a wrinkled mess on the same floor."

"Ha!" Shepard buttoned her jacket. "Plan B's what you're wearing."

"I don't think so, Shepard."

"What? You'd take a bullet for me but not swap clothes?"

"I've seen how you treat clothes." Miranda nodded at the lump against the wall. "If I take a bullet for you, I'd better get better treatment than that."

"So morbid." Shepard tugged on the bottom of the jacket and stood tall. "Passable?"

Miranda flashed her Omni-Tool light into Shepard's face.

"Miranda." Shepard raised a hand and squinted through her fingers at Miranda.

"Passable." Miranda turned the light off. "Now where do you want us? Your posse's in the backroom."

"Was there a good turn out?" Shepard brushed past Miranda.

"You said come armed and ready for trouble. Of course, they came. You say show up for silent bingo and Beethoven, they'd show up, Shepard."

Miranda snagged her arm, and turned Shepard to face her.

"What?"

Miranda picked at Shepard's hair shifting strands down her part. "You're unkept, as I said."

"Fixable?"

"There." Miranda nodded. "Your makeup …"

"I tried not to wash it off in the shower. I can only do so much."

Shepard walked back into the backstage reception hall.

"You sleep on your side? Your makeup's worn off on the left side."

"I'll make sure to only face my right side to the audience then."

"The Summit gains in entertainment value."

Faces smiled and nodded as Shepard rushed around them.

"Quite the guest list," Miranda murmured. "Afraid of offending someone so they invited everyone?"

Shepard skirted along the wall. "Opening ceremony. Lots of awards. Introductions. Photo ops."

"Congratulations by the way. The Laurel."

Shepard loosened the button on her collar and shrugged. "I should split it a dozen ways. It's not just mine."

"It's yours, Shepard. It's for the crucible. None of us were there."

"I know. Not a day goes by I don't know that."

They turned down away from the crowd and down a hall lined with doors.

"What on Earth does that mean?" Miranda asked catching up with her.

"It means …" Shepard stopped in front of a door. "No one knows what happened up there. Maybe I shouldn't be getting a damned award."

"Damned award?" Miranda put her hands on her hips. "Hope that isn't going to be in your acceptance speech."

"It's already on my cue cards."

"Don't be cheeky."

"Cheeky?" Shepard jabbed the door's open button. "I like that."

"After you," Miranda said as the door slid open.

 

* * *

 

Shepard glanced at the faces as they started to stand.

"Any questions?" Shepard asked.

She only got headshakes around the small backstage room. Voices swelled as people moved around.

"We know what we need to do, Shepard," Garrus said coming up to her. "Can't do much with that kinetic shield enclosing the stage."

"I know. Just keep your eyes open. There could be trouble in the crowd or from outside."

"I've studied the nuclear warhead's schematics." Tali came up beside Garrus. "Downloaded some upgrades on my Omni-Tool. I think it's very doable if … well, hopefully we won't need it. Where's Kaidan?"

"By the stage."

"He's seen the schematics too?" Tali asked.

"He's the one that gave them to me. Pearls before swine. But I knew where to get them."

Tali sighed and turned her head to Garrus. "I wish I wasn't scheduled on stage. I want to pace around with a gun like you."

"You'll be plenty of help where you are, Tali," Shepard said.

"Shep. What the hell are we gonna do out in that bony ass hallway for eight hours?"

"Jack." Shepard turned to Jack. Grunt and Javik flanking her. "It's important. Trouble will be either coming in or going out."

"Did I ask why we're doing it? Not my question."

"Do whatever you want for entertainment," Shepard said. "The Summit's streaming live."

Jack rolled her eyes. Javik and Grunt seemed equally thrilled.

"Trade off with someone for a few hours if it's such a death sentence," Shepard said and glanced around the room. She waved at Miranda. "Hey, Miranda. You're starting at the stage. After a bit, why don't you trade off with Jack?"

"Shepard, please." Miranda tossed her head and gave Jack a once-over. She smirked.

"The fancy bitch thinks she's too good to stand in the hallway?"

Miranda rolled her eyes away with a hiss of breath. "You'd actually need to put on clothes if they let through the front door."

Jack's face cut into a grin above brightening eyes. "If you—"

"Enough," Shepard said putting up her hands. "Everyone to their spots. The Summit starts soon. Now where's … Ah! Liara."

Liara stood rigidly in the corner, a dark wrinkle between her eyes, and snapped off her Omni-Tool screen. She looked up with a hard glint in her eye.

"I was listening," she said in a soft voice, "but I never heard my part."

"Keep your ear to the ground," Shepard said and walked over to her. "You have sources out there?"

"Of course. I have sources everywhere." Liara folded her arms and looked levelly at Shepard. "I hear all sorts of things."

"Good." Shepard nodded. "Anything unusual, let me know. The whole of HQ building could be a strike zone. If the Scorpion's here, he'll have something lined up to escape."

"That's all?"

"Check in with Kaidan and Miranda. They're watching the stage. They may need you to stand in."

"Very well."

Shepard frowned at her. "Everything good?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Liara's mouth stiffened. She glided to the door. "I'll let you know if anything happens, Shepard."

Shepard nodded and scanned the group for the anyone she hadn't touched base with yet.

"James!" She came up behind him. "You got the Summit itinerary I sent?"

"Uh, think so," he said turning to face her.

"Check before I head off." Shepard pointed at his Omni-Tool.

James brought up the extranet browser. "You messaged it to me?"

Shepard squinted at his screen and moved in closer. "What's that?"

James flipped over to his messages. "What?"

"That other page you had up. Some Alliance soldier's profile." Shepard frowned. "Why? You know him?"

"No. Do you?"

"No." Shepard studied him. "Why are you so shifty?"

"Shifty? I ain't shifty, Lola."

"Uh, yeah. You are. What's with that soldier? Why you checking him out? You know something."

"What? No. This has nothing to do with that." James avoided her eyes. "Just seeing what he's about, you know?"

"And?"

"Seems all right." James shrugged and turned to his Omni-Tool. "This the itinerary, Lola?"

Shepard peered over his shoulder. "Yep."

"Chido."

"Now, tell me the truth. I'll just keep bugging you."

"Lola, come on." James looked her in the face. Shepard put her hands on her hips. "Okay, fine. Saw him taking Rebecca out. Just, you know … curious."

"Sizing up the competition you mean."

"Competition? Nah. That ain't it. Just curious."

"Uh huh," Shepard stifled a grin. "Well, just make sure you read the agenda. Let's head out. Everyone, move out. Comms online."

Shepard head to the door. James and Miranda followed her out.

"You sure you want me backstage?" James said. "Shouldn't Jack be here. I ain't a biotic."

"Exactly. You're Alliance. Wandering around should go unnoticed. Besides, bullets take down a biotic terrorist just as well as a biotic throw."

"Damn good point, Lola."

The noise level ratcheted up as they neared the stage entrance. Shepard halted short of the bright light peeking through the curtains. She raised her voice to them.

"Take side entrances. I'm going onstage for some intro thing."

"Not your award?" James asked.

Miranda gave a slanted smile and shot Shepard a look.

"What?" James said.

"You think anything gets accomplished during the first two hours of a meeting like this?" Miranda asked.

James frowned. Shepard hesitated at the corner of the stage and listened. Wait … damn. They were already introducing the agenda items for day three. They'd probably called for her when introducing the key people on stage. They must have finally just pushed ahead when she never came. She'd better join the pack. She turned back to Miranda and James and waved the off.

"Go," she said.

She took a deep breath and stepped out onto the stage. A salarian subcouncil attendant paused between sentences at the front podium, and a few murmurs moved through the audience as she joined the cluster of Alliance VIPs. The stage lights' glare blinded her from seeing the audience, but the heavy noise rolling onto the stage told her enough about how many there were.

The salarian cleared his throat and continued as Shepard stepped in beside Admiral Hackett. The frown he gave her out of the corner of his face said enough. He sighed and focused back on the salarian as he introduced the agenda for day four.

Across the stage on the other side of the statue, the Councilors stood at their lecterns. They had a heavy presence even pushed off to the side to allow for a stage-full of the top honorees and war figures. There were only three Councilors just like the olden days. They obviously hadn't been receptive to the Alliance's other options for human council alternate. Admiral Wilson had to be fuming somewhere. Maybe that's why it was so hot up here. Or maybe it was just the lights.

If the Council meant to strong arm her into the spot by turning down other Alliance options, they were going to be mistaken. It only made her want to dig her heels in further. That reflex was one thing she did share with the council. Damn, she was glad she wasn't over there with them - swaying under the overhead lights, gripping a lectern as the hours wore by, voices droning, opinions traded, but nothing decided, on and on. In a little while, she'd file off stage and wouldn't need to come back up until she received the damn award. If they really knew what it meant, they'd be glad she wasn't standing at a lectern directing all the big decisions.

She swallowed and straightened. Her eyes were starting to adjust. Kaidan was a shadowy figure to her right standing below the stage. He leaned almost idly against the stage just inside the kinetic shield with his arm resting on the stage's surface. As if feeling her watching him, he turned away from surveying the crowd. Their eyes met, and he gave her a thin smile.

She wished he was in armor, but it would be too suspicious. He was still in his uniform from the night before. Shepard smirked. She should have had Miranda bring him something too, if only for his reaction. His face alone when he realized she'd dug through his clothes, then the patronizing way she'd present the outfit she'd chosen for him to wear - if Shepard had only thought of it. It would have required a little breaking and entering, but nothing Miranda couldn't pull off.

A shadow moved next to Kaidan, and Shepard strained to make out the slim silhouette. Liara. She stood just off to the side toward the back. Shepard frowned. They should be spread out, not grouped together. Spread out, you could close in and surround. Packed together and a few well-placed grenades or biotic bursts, and you were down not one but two. Kaidan knew better. Shepard gritted her teeth and tore her eyes away.

She stared into the bright lights. Somewhere along the line, Liara had decided she was more Kaidan's friend than she was Shepard's. It was a childish thing for Shepard to care about, and that's if 'friends' was even the right word. Shepard's imagination spilled open with images of them together – Kaidan's thumb tracing Liara's cheek as his lips brushed down her jaw to her throat, her fingertips digging into his skin as they trailed down his back, the soft moanings and sighs. Shepard drew in a sharp breath like pulling in specks of glass and shoved the images away.

"And on the agenda for day six-" the salarian continued.

Shepard shifted on her feet and forced her mind to focus on ceremony. It was going to be a long day.


	112. Chapter 112

**Chapter 43**

Kaidan stifled a yawn and stood up taller beside the stage. He touched the pistol at his side again and glanced down to check the rifle leaning beside his legs. Laying on the edge of the stage next to his arm, a datapad glowed with a list of the day's award ceremonies. The Summit was hours in, and nothing had happened that wasn't bullet-pointed on the agenda. He needed to keep his attention sharp though.

Hopefully, his small presence relative to the enormity of the stage wasn't drawing too much attention. The Alliance brass in the front row gave him occasional, narrow-eyed frowns. Standing here idle, lounging with an elbow on the stage, occasionally reading off a datapad – he was cutting a proud figure for being a Council Spectre.

If he looked passive, he felt far-from through. Each quick movement on stage, a slight bend toward the floor, or Heaven-forbid someone dropped something – Kaidan would flinch, skin rippling with static, only to discharge as the offender continued about something normal. Should a biotic on his list do anything sudden, make a move toward the statue, Kaidan had already decided, he'd give himself away and extend his barrier. But, so far, that hadn't happened. Yet.

Kaidan squinted across the stage at Shepard's silhouette resting her back against the wall, hand up on the stage. Miranda was somewhere around too, but having more than two people touching the stage would only look odd. Just having Miranda and Liara out front probably looked odd. Whether Liara or Miranda could push a barrier out far enough to cover the floor, Kaidan's wasn't sure. He'd practiced, and he could still barely do it. Still, it was better to have some backup. Shepard would be back on stage at the end to receive her award, and then for the final presentation of all the award winners. Kaidan didn't know how he was going to watch all of them at once.

The crowd applauded as the hanar ambassador backed up from the spotlight. The salarian master of ceremonies clapped as he took center stage again. A table and chair had replaced the Councilor's lecterns, and they stood clapping along with the audience. Ilk sat down after two solid claps and stared up at the ceiling. It was probably a boring day for them. Just making an appearance, cheering on awardees, no decisions, or arguing. The salarian announced a recess and with a nod the lights rose up in the auditorium.

"Switch, Kaidan?" Liara came up beside him. Her eyes had that sharp edge she'd been looking at him with all day.

"No, I'm good."

Liara sighed. She probably felt useless. He felt useless just standing here. Sometimes the important jobs were the ones that won everything or did nothing. Either you were a hero or utterly useless.

"Just keep watching," Kaidan said.

People stood up from their seats and the crowd noise swelled. Miranda looped around the stage toward them. Kaidan looked across the stage. Shepard rested a palm on the floor as she scanned the crowd.

"Kaidan," Miranda said. "Everything's in the clear?"

"So far."

"Figured." Miranda stopped in front of him and tapped her fingernails on the stage. "Comm's cutting in and out. You noticed?"

"The kinetic shield," Kaidan dipped his head toward the stage. "It interferes."

Miranda peered at him. "You look tired. Long night?"

Liara came up beside Miranda and faced him. Her eyes glinted at him above the tight line of her mouth. Kaidan frowned at her not for the first time that day and drew his eyes back to Miranda.

"Yeah," he said.

Miranda squinted at his chest suddenly and cocked her head. She stepped forward and spread a hand across his chest.

"What are you doing?" He grabbed her hand.

She bent her face in closer to his shirt. He shoved her hand back and retreated a step. Miranda straightened with a growing smirk and looked him in the eye.

"What?" he said double checking his arm was firmly on the stage. "I put this on last night. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours. I showered. Why're you picking at me?"

Miranda tapped her fingernails on the stage and tilted her head at him.

"You and Shepard getting along pretty well, hmm?"

"What?" His eyebrows drew together. "Miranda, did _you_ get sleep last night?"

Liara looked sideways at Miranda. The look she flicked to him glittered with something he couldn't define. Her arms crossed under her breasts.

Miranda pointed at his chest. "You're wearing the other half of Shepard's makeup."

Kaidan frowned and looked down. Miranda tapped a tannish stain on the side of his chest.

"Your right side, her left. Makes sense." Miranda chuckled. "Be glad the Alliance brass aren't this insightful."

"The Alliance brass already got their insight," Kaidan said shifting against the side of the stage. He glanced at Liara. "Nothing happened."

"But they think it did?" Miranda leaned an elbow against the stage. "Ever hear of double jeopardy? If you already have to do the time …"

He drew his eyes away from Liara and gave Miranda a flat look. She smirked back at him, and the lights flashed overhead. People move down the aisles finding seats. Miranda pushed away from the stage.

"I'm going back to the other side. I'll deliver the message – all's clear."

Her hair bounced as she turned. She cast a smirk over her shoulder at him as she headed around the stage. Liara moved into his line of sight where Miranda had stood. He sighed.

"Nothing happened. I went over to Shepard's. We talked and ate. Accidently fell asleep on the couch. That's it. The admirals caught us. It looked like something else."

Lights reflected in the rounding clearness of her eyes, and her lips curved into a smile.

"I didn't know if you'd tell me."

"What do you mean? Of course, I would." He frowned, then shift against the stage. People took their seats as the roar of conversations slowly hushed. "I need to focus on this. But we should talk. Later."

Her lips curved wide, and she nodded. She brushed against his arm as she passed around him and receded into the shadows by the wall. She flicked on her Omni-Tool.

Kaidan checked the schedule on the datapad. Ambassador Ulkut for the Elcor came on stage. This was bound to be a long one. The day's end was closing in though. Tali and Wrex had made appearances on stage earlier, and the last few hours of the opening ceremonies had really dragged. But Shepard was due soon, and the day would be over. Now that he thought about it though, he'd probably need to stand by the floor for the rest of the week just to be safe. He was getting ahead of himself though. The awardees reassembling on stage for a closing recognition was going to be a hurtle. Kaidan wiped a sweaty palm on his pants and refocused on the stage.

Ambassador Ulkut was still droning on in his speech. Kaidan stared around the faces in the crowd. Behind him Liara drew in a sharp breath, and Kaidan twisted to look at her. She was already halfway to him with her Omni-Tool glowing in her face.

"Kaidan."

She put her wrist out to show him the screen. He glanced at Ulkut and did a quick scan of the crowd before focusing down on her Omni-Tool.

"A message from one of your contacts?" he asked.

"There's a lot of motion around the Normandy. It's dry docked in the hangar bay nearby."

"What?" Kaidan frowned. "Why're you watching the Normandy?"

"The Scorpion's original goal was to take it, right?"

Kaidan shifted against the edge of the stage and tapped his fingertips on the stone floor.

"All right." He stood away from the stage. "Take my spot. I'm going to check it out."

"I'll go," Liara said.

Kaidan glanced across the stage. Miranda stood beside the stage instead of Shepard. Shepard had to be getting ready to come onstage then. Neither Miranda or Liara had practiced with the stage, and the closing ceremony with all the honorees would be soon.

"Okay," Kaidan said.

Liara nodded and backed away.

"Be careful," Kaidan said.

She slid down a side aisle and disappeared through an exit. Audience applause swelled around the stage. The Elcor ambassador was actually finished. Kaidan checked the schedule again. This was moving faster than he'd thought. He checked the pistol at his side again and flexed his fingers against the cool surface of the granite floor. Time was winding down.


	113. Chapter 113

**Chapter 44**

Backstage, Shepard walked back and forth next to the stage's entrance. She was next. She forced herself to stop pacing and leaned against the wall next to the glass emergency box – fire extinguisher, AED, biotic fire axe. The Summit committee had prepared for all the wrong disasters. What she really needed right now was to still be off stage, watching and ready.

James came up next to her. A slit of light crossed his face like a scar as he peered through the angled opening to the stage. He turned back to her.

"Where's Liara going?"

"What?" Shepard pushed in beside him. "Where?"

"She vamoosed. Looked in a hurry."

Shepard turned back from the stage light and tried her earpiece. "Kaidan?"

Nothing.

"James, give me yours."

"Sure thing, Lola." James put it into her hand. "Ain't working well. Something with that shield."

"Kaidan?"

Shepard waited for a beat. She shoved the earpiece back at James with a growl.

"Go see what's up."

"Aye, aye." James shrugged. "If it's just a bathroom break …"

"Something's up," Shepard said. "Kaidan looks worried."

James trotted away. Shepard peeked around the corner onto the stage again. Two human scientists walked over to the councilors and shook their hands one by one. The crowd applauded.

"Shepard."

Shepard whipped her head around with a frown. Aria smiled holding a glass encased plaque in one hand. The crowd of award winners were starting to assemble backstage. Alecia Mason drifted around in the back behind everyone else. Shepard's eyes moved back to Aria.

"Aria." Shepard glanced out at the stage again then turned back to her. "The Alliance and Council are sending ships to the Terminus System. I talked to some of the admirals about you and your mercs. It's a way home, and some work for once you get there."

Aria's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything.

"Well, get back to me." Shepard shrugged.

Aria put out a hand. "Consider it agreed then."

Shepard raised her eyebrows and grabbed Aria's hand.

"Let me talk to Major Alenko, but good. And congrats by the way." Shepard nodded to the plaque in Aria's other hand.

Aria's hand squeezed tight, a painful pinch, and her face soured.

"I traded a space station for a plaque. It's a proud moment."

Shepard tore her hand away and shook it. Damn. Strong grip.

"Still sore about Omega, huh?"

"Let everyone you helped throw you out on your ass."

Shepard narrowed her eyes. They were calling Shepard's name on stage. The human scientists from onstage slipped around her holding their plaques. Shepard's name boomed overhead again.

"No one screws with Aria," Aria said.

"Go, go, go." A backstage handler shooed Shepard onstage.

She stumbled out blinking into the stage lights. No one screws with Aria. No one screws with the Scorpion. The room echoed with clapping and cheers. Shapes moved dimly out beyond the lights. It sounded like people getting to their feet. The Councilors stood up from their table clapping her direction with smiles. Tevos cradled a silver medal in a glass frame – the Laurel of Apotheosis, no doubt. The salarian MC strode back to her.

"Come on," he said waving her forward.

Shepard snapped her head to the side and squinted for Kaidan. From the shadows at the edge of the stage, he peered back at her with a furrowing brow. Someone grabbed her arm. The Councilors had crossed over to her. Tevos leaned into her ear.

"What's going on, Shepard?"

Sparatus faced her and took her hand in a strong shake.

"Shepard. Something's wrong?" he said under his breath.

"Get everyone off stage," Shepard said. "Now."

Sparatus dropped her hand. Tevos swung away dropping the award. Under Shepard's feet, the floor turned blue. Shepard spun and flared a blue shield out from her hand blocking the Councilors as a wave of energy sizzled across it. The crowd erupted with screams, a cacophony of shouting, shoving, and stampeding feet. Gunshots echoed.

A bubble sparkled around Aria as she walked onstage. Lightening and blue pulses shot from her hands hitting all around. Shepard drew her pistol.

"Next to me!" she shouted at the Councilors.

Tevos and Sparatus pulled in tighter under her shield. Ilk stumbled back as burst of electricity exploded at his feet. Sparatus yanked him in closer. Aria charged them and slammed into Shepard's shield with a biotic kick. Shepard's feet slipped against the stone floor, and she flung a warp. It rippled over Aria's barrier. A shield bubble out around Aria, and she charged again driving her shield into Shepard's. Gunfire and biotic blasts sprayed off Aria's shield, and the councilors huddled in closer as Shepard pushed them back a step from Aria's onslaught. They nearly tripped over the salarian MC sprawled face-down behind them.

James barreled across the stage with his assault rifle firing. Aria flung a hand back at him, and he rolled as a electric burst hit the ground behind him. Shepard rammed her shield against Aria's, and Aria staggered back. Shepard opened a hole in her shield to press her pistol through and fired. Shots and biotic flashes were already hitting Aria's shield from the side as Kaidan and Miranda pressed their palms to the floor on either side of the stage. Flashes burst from the pistols in their other hands. Aria steadied her footing and grinned.

Screams rose in pitch from the audience behind Shepard, and she caught the movement of men bursting through auditorium doors and firing into the crowd. Mercs or Terra Firma she didn't know. C-Sec exploded through the crowd returning gunfire amid the stampede. Shots were coming from backstage too, and James swung around with his rifle amid shouts.

A static hiss crackled around the edge of the stage as the translucent field sparked with stray bullets from the auditorium. It rippled and popped, not meant for continuous fire, and with a clapping flash went out.

Aria's eyes flicked to the ceiling, and she reached out a hand, face contorting, and yanked it back as a fist. Metal tore somewhere overhead and screams rose to Shepard's left. Two massive stage lights ripped from the ceiling glowed blue suspended in the air just above the screaming crowd. Kaidan had his hand reached out toward them with a clenched grimace. Aria bellowed and reached her hand out again. Metal snapped and popped. More lights broke free, one after another dropped. The crowd wailed. Shepard threw a shaky hand out, but felt the lights already catching and lifting up. Miranda's hand strained out pointed at the audience, and she hollered at Shepard.

"I've got it!"

Shepard released the single stage light she was holding. Miranda held all four suspended in the air. The first two lights floated unsteadily in Kaidan's grip. Shepard reached out for one, but her fingers quivered and she stumbled as Aria rammed into her shield again. A tremor shivered in her bones, and Shepard locked her legs to hold Aria off. She couldn't have reached her biotic threshold yet to be fatigued.

"James! Shepard!" Kaidan hollered.

He caught Shepard's eye and tipped his head in the direction of the two suspended lights.

"Back! Back!" Shepard yelled putting an arm out and pushing the stumbling Councilors back to the edge of the stage.

James threw himself toward Kaidan and slid to his knees. He clasped Kaidan's shoulder as Kaidan swung his arm. Shepard pushed the councilors down under the bubble of her shield. The stage exploded in glass and metal. It burst against Shepard's shield and drove her to her knees as she gritted her teeth to hold it.

Miranda peeped up from the edge of the stage, palm still pressed to the stage floor, and barrier flickering over her skin from the spray of glass. James released Kaidan's shoulder, and the barrier Kaidan had extended over him fell away. Shots hit the stage from mercs in the auditorium, and Shepard bowed her shield over the Councilors to cover any side open side.

Aria lay on the floor near the fallen statue in the center of the stage. She sat up with cuts bleeding on her face, and her shield bubbled around her as Shepard fired her pistol. Aria ignored her and threw a hand out at one of the suspended lights. Miranda yelled, face pinching, and glared at Aria as the lights vibrated and broke glass onto the people below. Miranda's teeth showed as she concentrated on the lights and slowly lowered them, rattling under a tug-of-war. Three settled into the seats, and people shoved back. The last light broke free from the soft drop, and Miranda gasped. Aria's eyes shot to Shepard, and she yanked it forward with a fist. Shepard flung her hand up and knocked it aside. It exploded into the empty seats below the stage. Pieces of metal cut through Shepard's shield and one struck Tevos's shoulder. She hissed, holding it as blood seeped through her fingers. Sparatus and Ilk were alright, but wide-eyed.

"Off the stage," Shepard said and pointed to the edge of the stage.

Shepard held the shield up, legs shaking, and stood over them. Tevos hopped off the ledge still holding her shoulder. Sparatus and Ilk dropped down after her. C-sec and mercs exchanged fire, and Shepard motioned the councilors to lie flat on the floor.

"Miranda!" Shepard called.

Shepard's hand fumbled numbly at the edge of the stage as she hopped off. Her legs didn't catch her and gave out on her like rubber. Ducking from stray bullets, Tevos rushed to pull her back up and held her until her legs straightened. Shepard frowned at her tingling hands. Shepard pushed Tevos back to the floor, and frowned at her tingling hands. She slapped a palm on the floor and pushed outward with her barrier. Miranda and Kaidan's overlapping strands were too dense to weave through. Shepard caught Miranda's eye and gave a nod. Miranda's barrier released. Shepard's barrier shot out weaving through Kaidan's.

Mercs streamed onto the stage from the backstage entrances. Miranda put both hands on her pistol and shot one as he rushed her. Aria narrowed her eyes on Shepard and charged forward. James rushed in front and raised his rifle.

"Get them out!" Shepard caught Miranda's eye and dipped her head at the Councilors huddling under the edge of the stage at her feet. Miranda nodded. She skipped along the stage still firing at the mercs.

James yelled something, and Shepard's head snapped forward. Aria was nearly overhead. Shepard flashed a pulse of energy up at her. Aria's shields crackled, and she skidded back a step as James came up behind her and fired. Sparks burst from hitting the shield on her back. She swung and threw a flash of light. It hit James like an explosion. He flew across the stage and smashed into the back wall.

"James!" Shepard said.

He wasn't moving. Miranda gathered the Councilors under her own shield and hurried them down a side aisle. Aria flung energy at them. Miranda's shield flickered but held as they raced toward the doors.

"The Councilors!" Aria yelled at the mercs.

Mercs out in the auditorium's backrows turned their guns from C-Sec and the stage to Miranda. The barrier over Shepard's skin smoothed as the rifle fire shifted away. Mercs leaped off stage and tore after the Councilors as they disappeared through the exit. A merc looming over Kaidan turned to follow them. Kaidan shot him in the neck, and he fell forward in a spray of blood. Shepard turned her eyes from Kaidan and leveled her pistol at Aria. Aria grinned.

"Have you felt it yet?" Aria asked.

Shepard fired, but Aria held her shield with both hands. She advanced with a curl to her lips.

"Feeling shaky? Numb? Dizzy yet?" Aria said and pulled a needle out of her sleeve and threw it on the ground.

Shepard's eyes dropped to her shaky hands holding the gun. A crusty pinprick of blood stood out on her wrist. Shepard clutched the edge of the stage, legs tingling, and grappled to stay upright. She set her pistol against the floor and fired at Aria. Shots skidded off the barrier covering the floor at Aria's feet. The back of Aria's shield flashed with biotic attacks, but her eyes were fixed on Shepard. Shepard's pistol clattering against the floor, and she touched her earpiece.

"Miranda."

Nothing. Shepard vision swam, and she clawed at the floor as her legs buckled. Aria strolled up and kicked her in the face.

XXX

"No!" Kaidan raced along the edge of the stage trailing his hand on the floor.

Shepard's weaves through the barrier broke as her hand slipped off the stage and she fell out of sight. Aria spun on him. She was within tech-attack range now, and he raised his Omni-Tool hand and struck her barrier with frost crystals. Aria staggered back a step and threw a bolt of energy at him. It crackled along the barrier over his skin. He reaved her shield, thinning it. Aria backed away out to tech range.

"Only you and me now," she said and held up a hand.

Glass broke somewhere to the side, and an axe flew across the stage in a spray of glass shards. She snatched it out of the air.

"Is the barrier over your skin strong enough to stop a biotic axe?" She pointing the axe at his stretched-out arm touching the stage's floor.

She hefted the axe up and grinned. He tried to hit her with ice, but she was too far. He reaved her shield again. Aria reached a glowing hand out and pulled. Metal ripped behind him, and he turned as the front row of seats tore free. He stumbled sideways, hand still on floor, but it caught his leg against the stage.

Aria raised the axe overhead and charged. Kaidan tried to jerk free. He looked up as she brought down the axe. It nicked the side of Kaidan's hand as he yanked back. Aria slapped a hand to the floor with a grin, but it was still blue under palm. Her eyes widened. She followed Kaidan's eyes to something behind her. Thank God he'd seen her in time - Shepard clung to the edge of the stage, bleeding from the nose, with a palm pressed to the floor.

He didn't give Aria time to react. He slammed into her with a biotic throw, and the axe flew from her hand spinning across the floor. She fell to her knees just in front of him with her shield flickered. Kaidan pulled free from the chairs pinning his legs.

Aria's eyes burned on Shepard, and Kaidan grabbed at her feet as she stood. His fingers only brushed her heel, and he tore up onto the stage after her as she rushed at Shepard. Aria threw a warp at her. The barrier over Shepard's skin wavered.

The spray of ice from his Omni-Tool made Aria skid to a stop and round on him. An Omni-blade grazed his barrier, and he leaped back. Aria reached toward something with her hand and drew back sharply to pull it forward. He dodged as the axe clipped his arm and cracked the barrier over his skin. Aria caught it in her hand and slammed into him with a biotic kick. He stumbled back. With a burst of blue inertia, Aria hurled the axe at his face. It shattered his barrier, deflecting off the arm shielding his face, and slammed him into the floor. His head cracked on the stone, and it exploded in pain. He gasped for air as the world spun around him. A shadow fell over him, and a gun barrel filled his view. He drew in a sharp breath.

Blue light flashed, the gun barrel disappeared, and something slammed against the stage's back wall with a crack. The world floated under him, head swimming, and the tingling sensation of the barrier over the stage floor wink out. He tried to focus his eyes and pressed his palm to the floor. It turned blue again as he strained to extend his barrier out over the floor. Shepard's barrier over the stage was gone.

Aria lay in a heap at the base of a stage's backwall. She stirred. Kaidan bared down on his breath, still struggling to see straight, and pulled himself up. Keeping his palm pressed to the floor, he wobbled to his knee then toppled down again. He focused on his breathing and waited for the world to settle. The edge of the stage where Shepard had been was empty. The hall was empty now, it had to have been her to throw Aria.

Aria moaned and pushed up off the floor. Kaidan reached a hand out at her but lost his balance. He fell over still holding the barrier over the floor. Movement and voices entered the auditorium and echoed onto the stage. Kaidan squinted out at the rows of seats. Someone was coming. A group. Kaidan whipped his head to Aria, but she was gone. Garrus and Tali rushed down an aisle toward the stage. Miranda's voice was somewhere further off.

"Aria," Kaidan yelled. "She went backstage. Wounded."

Garrus clipped a quick nod and looked at Tali. They took the stage stairs two at a time and dodged around the corner to the backstage area.

"Kaidan. What happened?" Miranda called.

She rushed down an aisle up to the bloody smear on the stage's edge. Her eyes were fixed on something below though, and she ducked down out of sight. Kaidan crawled to the edge of the stage keeping his hand sliding along the floor holding the barrier. His weaves were getting wider. If Aria came back, she'd be able to find plenty of gaps to get to the floor.

He looked over the edge of the stage. Miranda hunched over Shepard with an Omni-light. She lay unmoving, blood covering her face, eyes still and closed. Breath rushed out of him. He'd rather have Aria's axe buried in his forehead than this again.

"Shepard …" he whispered.

Miranda glanced up at him.

"Is she …"

Miranda drew a needle back from the hollow of Shepard's elbow, and she stood. An empty vial rolled by her boot as she stepped over to him.

"Let me see you."

"Miranda, just tell me."

"Shepard?" Miranda glanced back at her. "She'll be fine."

Kaidan's chest loosened. He took a deep breath.

"I gave her the antidote," Miranda said. "I'm not sure how much of the poison she got, so I gave her the entire vial of binding agent. It's well over what she needs. Make her sick, but it'll work. See - her fingertips are moving."

Miranda grabbed Kaidan's face and shinned a light into his eyes.

"No protesting?" Miranda stood back. "You do have a head injury."

"I can't hold the floor much longer."

"Oh," Miranda said and put her palm on the floor.

Kaidan let it go. He dropped onto his stomach and peered over the edge of the stage at Shepard. Her eyelashes fluttered, fingers twitching. He eyes snapped open. She gasped. Miranda kept her palm on the stage, but hunched down to her.

"Slowly," Miranda said.

Shepard's voice came out grainy, and she cleared her throat. After a swallowed and looked at Miranda.

"Aria poisoned me," she said and tried to sit up on her elbows but fell back again. "I feel …"

"Give it a few minutes," Miranda said.

A sound drew Kaidan's attention, and he looked at the back of the stage.

"Miranda, James's moving."

Miranda pulled herself up onto the stage and almost stood. She frowned at her hand touching the stage.

"I'll hold it," he said.

Miranda nodded, lifted to her feet, and raced over to James. Kaidan pressed his palm to the floor and felt the strain deep inside as he pushed the barrier out. He looked down at Shepard. She gazed up at him.

"You look like hell," she said.

Kaidan grinned weakly and nodded down at her. "That broken nose suits you."

Shepard smiled bloody teeth. A commotion drew his attention to the auditorium's main entrance. Liara tore down the central aisle.

"Shepard! The nuclear warhead. It's on the Normandy."


	114. Chapter 114

**Chapter 45**

Shepard barreled down the hallway with both feet off the ground. Liara and Kaidan sprinted behind her. Gearing up had taken long enough. She needed to be there now.

"You're sure?" Shepard panted as they slowed.

The blast of mass effect fields, gunshots, and screaming boomed from around the corner. People ran past them to the docking bay.

Liara breathed hard. "I'm sure. Jack saw Aria on the boarding bridge up above. Jack got across before it collapsed. She comm'ed me, but I haven't heard her since. The rest of the fighting's been in the enclosed bay outside the Normandy."

"You're sure it's the nuclear warhead?" Kaidan asked.

"Tali identified it. It's in the Normandy's cargo hold. Aria's mercs are trying to offload it. She has commandoes."

"A nuke could actually breach the Normandy's hull, destroy it completely.  Terra Firma must have known Aria still planned on taking the Normandy.    Her surprise package wasn't much of a surprise. I saw one of her men here last night," Shepard said. "She's leaving it here to detonate in the city. She'll escape on the Normandy."

"Shepard," Kaidan said. "If the Normandy leaves the bay at FLT, it'll trigger the detonation."

"FTL from the bay?" Liara's eyes widened.

"The warhead's casing cracks, and the combustion process will ignite. Something like FLT, anything to really rattle it – it'll go off instantly," Kaidan said.

"Terra Firma probably planned for it to denotate in space then, when she would safely jump to FLT," Shepard said. "But if she wants to leave it to detonate, you're right. Reckless, but with a jump to FLT, the bomb detonates. And she gets out of here in a hurry."

"Tali or I need to get to the warhead," Kaidan said.

"How long to diffuse it?"

"Hard to say."

"Okay," Shepard said and peeked around the corner. A ragtag army of C-sec, Alliance, and civilian clothed fighters plugged the bay's doors. She pulled back. "Tali and Garrus are in there?"

Liara nodded. "I saw Traynor, Adams, and Grunt too."

"Kaidan, touch base with Tali. Direct that chaos in there. Don't let them offload the nuke until we've secured the ship. As long as the nuke's aboard, she's not leaving. If you get the chance though, disarm it."

"You?" Kaidan said.

"Liara and I are going to get across that collapsed loading bridge onto the Normandy. We're not getting in through the cargo bay. We need to get to the bridge. We can't let Aria leave with the Normandy."

"All right," Kaidan said. "Be careful."

He darted around the corner out of sight.

"The door to the loading bridge is a few levels up," Liara said.

"Let's go. Wait." Shepard stopped in her tracks and thought for a second. "The door to the Normandy's bridge will be sealed. We need in through the evacuation hatch. That takes a small biotic field."

She twisted on her heels and looked at Liara.

"What?" Liara said.

"You said you saw Traynor?"

 

* * *

 

"That's a long way across, Shepard."

Liara looked back at her from staring at the chasm between the docking bay's door and the Normandy. Volleys of gunfire echoed below them. Across the gap, the collapsed loading bridge hung by its corner from the Normandy's loading deck. The door to the Normandy's bridge and the evacuation hatch she needed would be right inside the loading deck.

"It's wide, but I expected as much," Shepard said. "We'll help each other across."

"Shepard, when the mercs see us from below, they'll fire. We'll be open targets. They'll be waiting for the second person across."

"Let's hope they're more concentrated on the gunfire in their faces then. Don't worry about the second person."

Liara sighed and paced back from the door.

"That's a long way to move someone, Shepard. I've never moved someone that distance. And we're so high."

"I trust you, Liara."

Shepard dug through the pack on her belt. She pulled out a coiled blue cord. She looped it around her forearm, counting, as she glanced between the Normandy and the open doorway where they were standing. She'd double it for extra measure. Nice and long.

"What's that? It's so thin."

"Made out of magan steel. Soft, flexible, but it'll hold."

"Hold?"

"For the second person. Now, that should be long enough." Shepard cut the cord with her Omni-blade and pushed the remainder back into her pack.

Shepard tied the cord coiled to the metal framing of the the door.

"All right. Send me across," Shepard said.

"Shepard …"

"I trust you. You'll do fine."

"By the Goddess," Liara muttered but put her hands out.

Shepard's skin tingled with a blue glow. Her feet lifted off the floor.

"Now just get me to the other side."

"Don't rush me," Liara said. "If I lose my focus …"

Shepard's feet skimmed over the doorway and dangled over the chasm. Armed mercs scrambled down below, dodging and firing in a sea of moving bodies. A massive blue shield was bubbled out from the Normandy's cargo bay. Aria's commandoes, no doubt. She couldn't see the bomb amid the horde pressing around the ship. She squinted and made out Javik and Grunt standing amid a cluster of C-sec uniforms.

Some of the mercs in the swirl of gunfire directly below looked up. They peeked up from their makeshift trench of ship repair parts and raised their rifles. A shot fired past her. More mercs were bumping into each other and pointing up at her.

Liara's face scrunched, forehead glistening as she focused on Shepard. She was halfway across. Shepard loosened the loop of rope around her arm. More guns were firing her direction. A bullet glanced off the armor on her hip. Another cracked the armor on her calf. She needed her biotic barrier up, but doing it now might disrupt Liara's focus and it would only make her more slippery to levitate.

"Almost there," Shepard yelled at her.

Liara could probably barely hear her over the gunfire. A bullet glanced off Shepard's hand. She cursed and clutched the coil of cord tighter in her other fist. She was becoming the prime target. A bullet struck her chest. Liara yelped, and Shepard dropped. Just an instant, and Liara caught her. Shepard's heart pounded. Broken bit of armor flaked off as Shepard clutched at her broken chest plate and hissed with pain. She swallowed it down. It hadn't penetrated.

"No. I'm okay. I'm okay," Shepard yelled. "Don't pay—Damnit!" Shepard slapped a hand over her forearm and retracted her lips with a curse. Loose coils of cord fell from her shocked hand, and she fumbled for it. She caught the cord in the middle. It dangled past her feet and bowed in a low arch between her and Liara. If she dropped now, the rope was too loose and gap too wide for her not fall all the way, clutching the rope or not. She needed it for Liara to slide over though. A hot flow slid down her fingertips as she wrapped the rope around her wrist a few times to secure it.

The blue glow of Liara's power wavered over Shepard's skin. She slipped. Just a lurch, and Liara caught her again. Shepard stomach rolled. She was almost to the Normandy's loading platform. Just a little bit more. She could almost touch it.

Pain exploded in her foot. She reached for her leg and squeezed her eyes shut with a hiss. She started to breathed and glanced over at Liara.

"Liara!" Shepard pointed behind her.

Liara spun around as a company of mercs fired their assault rifles. The glow left Shepard's skin. She fell. She clawed at the loading dock but missed. She scrapped down along something as she tumbled – the broken loading bridge dangling from the Normandy. Her hands darted out. She strained to grab something, anything. She caught a rail and slammed against the bridge as she jerked to a stop. Metal ripped up above. The bridge dropped a fraction and swung sideways with a metallic whine. Shepard held on.

"Liara!"

She'd fallen too far to see Liara from this low angle. She was still stories above the gunfire below. She panted scrambling for a foothold. Her boot caught the rail below for a second then slipped. Bullets sparked around her on the metal bridge. One punched into her back. She gritted her teeth with a hiss. Another hit her shoulder with a loud crack. Her boot finally caught traction on the lower rung. The bridge moaned and shifted under her as she adjusted her weight. She threw up her biotic barrier, checking the cord around her wrist, then clutched the rail with both hands. Bullets ripped into the metal by her face. The metal creaked and shuttered. It probably hung by a thread. She needed to work her way up to the Normandy's loading deck.

Gunfire shifted away suddenly with a swelling of yelling. Shepard twisted to look down. More c-sec officers flooded through the hangar doors and spread out in a line. They advanced carrying ballistic shield and protecting a stream of soldiers behind them lobbing grenades over the shields. Mercs leaped for cover as grenades exploded apart make-shift barriers. Behind the line of shields, engineers hunched and set up turrets. Garrus and Grunt ran along the back of the shield line in opposite directions pointing and directing.

Mercs scrambled back from the walls of shields and raining grenades. The commandoes' biotic shield around the Normandy's cargo bay pushed out further. Mercs retreated through a rippling passage opened on the side. Shepard let out a long breath and let her muscles unlock. She wouldn't have any more bullets in her back for a while then.

Shepard checked the cord looped loosely around her wrist. The rope bowed low hanging across the chasm to the docking bay door above. The other end of the rope dangled straight down. She have to watch she didn't tangle her feet in either line of the rope.

She looked up at the Normandy's loading deck. Her arm dripped blood onto the visor of her helmet as she reached up for the next rung on the railing. The bridge groaned overhead. Go up fast or slow, she wasn't sure the better approach. The bridge shifted again and swung slightly to the side. Shepard froze clutching the rail. Something metal shrieked above, and the bridge shuddered. Fast it was.

Shepard scrambled up the rails, grabbing rail after rail, and pulling her feet up to each new rail. She wasn't go fast enough. The bridge screamed and moved beneath her. She held tighter to each rail but kept moving. The loading deck loomed above. Ten more rungs. Almost there. The bridge creaked as she reached up. It broke.

She fell. She scrapped against the bridge as it came with her. Her hands clawed frantically to grab hold of something. Nothing. Nothing. It was all falling with her. Her arm caught overhead, a tightening around her wrist. She jerked her to a sharp stop by the arm. Her shoulder tore, and she bit her tongue tasting blood. The bridge scrapping against her slicing the armor down her arm as it fell away below her. It smashed in an explosion of metal to a stampede of screams.

She swung like a pendulum beside the Normandy and fiercely gripped the blue cord on her wrist. She looked up the cord to the Normandy's loading deck. The cord was caught on the edge of a metal beam on the platform. If it had caught, it would only just be holding. She still couldn't see Liara at the other door.

Shepard swung to give herself some momentum and grabbed the rope overhead with her free hand. She pendulated, waiting and testing. Nothing. It didn't slip, metal wasn't creaking or scratching. Shepard breathed between her teeth and tested her other arm. The medigel injected from her Omni-Tool wasn't going to put a dislocated shoulder into place, if that was the case. She moved her arm. It was torn, no doubt, but not dislocated. Cord still wrapped around the wrist, she reached up with her bad arm and grabbed the cord above. Hurt like hell, but doable. She climbed kicking her feet, hand over hand, panting, and sweating under her armor. The edge of the Normandy's loading deck was jut overhead. She strained and grabbed the edge. She let go of the cord and pulled herself up.

She caught her breath as she got to her feet. The cord dangled in front of her. She grabbed a fistful and looked up at the metal beam it had gotten caught on. She gave a tug. It was stuck damn good. She reached up, and her eye widened. She drew her fingers back and looked across the chasm. Through the loading dock doors, Liara was a small figure far down the hallway. Blue sparks flashed around her as she rushed at a group of mercs.

Shepard frowned and looked down below. It boiled with gunfire, grenades, and dodging bodies. They'd pushed the commandoes and their shield up the Normandy's carbo bay ramp. More mercs were regrouping behind the shield though. Shepard scanned over the soldiers. Her eyes stopped on Kaidan. He glowed blue looking up at her. He gave her a sharp nod and dropped his face raising his rifle at the mercs spilling out through the shield. He motioned at the group of soldiers at his flank and pointed at a gap in the line of shields.

Shepard tugged at the rope again and stood on her toes to see the beam. The cord was tied in a solid knot around the beam. Hell. That was almost fifty meters, and the fine manipulation to tie a knot, especially one that actually held – even up close that was a feat. Shepard stood back and shook it from her head.

She gazed across the open air at Liara's tiny form exchanging gunfire. The cord was tried across the expanse now. Liara could make it across later if she broke free.

Shepard spun around to the Normandy's airlock door to the bridge. It was sealed as expected. She slid to her knees and searched the emergency hatch a tiny energy outlet. She'd used it once before to open the hatch from this side. She was ready this time and pulled Traynor's toothbrush out of her pack. She flicked it on, and the bristles glowed. A second later, Shepard was dropping down inside the hatch.

She slipped through the passage ways in a squatted position. As she drew near the CIC, the murmuring of voices became more distinct. A low, cool voice gave orders. It had to be Aria's voice, always low and cool. Shepard smiled grimly, clutched her pistol, and shuffled further under the grated panels above. Shadows moved overhead. The ship's systems were starting to come online. Shepard shuttled forward and squinted through the grated panels overhead. It looked like at least five people.

"Just get it unloaded," Aria said. "Get all systems up. The moment it's out, we go. We can close the cargo bay hatch as we lift."

"They've got us pinned," a comm'ed voice said.

"Just unload it. They want to disarm it, they'll let you bring it out to them."

"If crossfire hits it …"

"Let them worry about that. Long as you don't open the case to disarm it, it'll hold."

"As you say."

A shadow came around the galaxy map. The tall thin form passed into Shepard's vision. Aria. One shot wouldn't kill her, and that's all Shepard would get through the grate before she dodged. Aria's barrier was damned tough. Shepard needed out from under the grate to get a full view and come at her.

"You," Aria said pointing at someone. "Go down and see it gets done."

"But …"

"Now."

Two shadows moved to the elevator and left. Aria crossed around the map to the elevator, and Shepard's fingers slid between the grates of the panel overhead. Her muscles tensed. Aria looked down at the floor next to the elevator.

"Tell me, Jack. I always thought bleeding to death would feel like falling asleep. You're looking tired."

Shepard threw the panel over and sprang up. She scrambled to her feet raising her pistol and glowed blue. Aria's head whipped up with widening eyes. Shepard's warp hit her barrier even as she dodged to the side. Shots ricocheted off the metal floor at Shepard's feet as armored mercs rushed at her. She broke the closest one's shield with a round of gunfire and threw him backward into the other man.

Aria rushed around the console getting a clear line on Shepard. Shepard threw her hand out at the same time. Their burst of energy connected and exploded between them. A blinding thunderclap threw Shepard to the floor. She staggered to her feet blinking back the white veil in her vision. The two mercs she'd thrown earlier stirred from their pileup against the wall. Shepard fired her pistol at them.

"Shepard, over here," Aria said.

Shepard spun around. Aria swayed on her feet pointing a pistol down at Jack. Jack lay face up on the floor by the elevator. Her eyelids hung hooded, and blood dripped through the grate under her head. The mercs pushed up off each other and stumbled to their feet. In the corner of Shepard's vision, she saw them rush at her. She spun with a glowing hand.

"Stop," Aria said.

The mercs skid to a stop and held their rifled up at Shepard. Shepard eyed them as her barrier glowed over her skin. She aimed her pistol at Aria.

"I thought you were asleep," Aria said to Shepard. "You always were full of surprises."

"Give this up, Aria. You're surrounded out there."

Aria gave a half smile. "Terra Firma planted a nuclear explosive on this ship. I'm leaving it for them and the Council. I want to be surrounded." She looked over at the war room. "Bring out the other one."

"What?" Shepard's eyes darted to the doorway.

A third merc came from the war room and shoved someone out onto the floor in front of Aria. Shepard keeping her pistol trailed on Aria and hand raised toward the two mercs. She moved to get a clearer view of the floor by the elevator.

"Joker?" Shepard said.

"Found him lurking on board," Aria said and took out a second pistol.

Joker's eyes rolled up to Aria. His hands were restrained behind his back, but he didn't appear to be bleeding or noticeably hurt.

"I'll kill them right now," Aria said. "That, and we keep fighting. Or you let my men put biotic cuffs on you."

Shepard's pistol wavered in her hand as she stared Aria in the eye. She glanced down at Joker. His eyes grew large and met Shepard's.

"No, Commander—"

Aria shot his leg. Joker yelled.

"Now, Shepard. The next goes in their heads. Jack's still alive."

Something moved below the grate in the corner of Shepard's vision. She kept her eyes fixed on Aria.

"Fine," Shepard said.

She dropped her pistol. It clattered at her feet and put her hands up. Joker clutched his leg, blood seeping through his fingers, and gaped at her. Aria motioned the mercs to cuff Shepard. Metal creaked under the grated floor. Shepard held Aria's eyes as a merc grabbed her wrists.

A burst of light hit Aria in the chest. She fell back a step dropping one of the pistols, and Liara pulled up out the floor. Shepard spun around and tore her wrist free. She slammed the merc across the room in a flash of blue. The biotic cuffs rattled to the floor at her feet. Shepard snatched her pistol off the floor as the other merc bard down on her. Her shot hit him in the face. A third merc slammed into Shepard from behind. She fell forward and turned on her knees. The merc fired his rifle, and Shepard sprang behind the consoles. The galactic map erupted in sparks.

Aria and Liara dodged around each other throwing biotics. Liara spun away in a glowing streak of light, but Aria snared her arm. She raised her pistol to Liara's face. Shepard slammed into her from the side. They tumbled against the wall. Aria's Omni-blade glowed, and she rammed into Shepard barrier. The barrier broke with a flash. The mercs' bullets rang around them, and Shepard ducked trying to reignite her barrier.

"Shepard, look out!" Liara yelled.

Shepard turned. Aria's foot caught her in the face. She sprawled backward. Liara jumped over her and lashed out at Aria, but Aria turned as if expecting it. She swung out at her.

Shepard staggered upright as the mercs fired at her. A bullet grazed her bicep, and she dropped her pistol with a sharp breath. She threw a warp at Aria, but she'd already knocked Liara to the floor. Aria stepped on Liara's hand and brought a blazing fist down on her forehead. It sent a shockwave through Shepard's chest as Liara's eyes rolled closed.

Shepard rushed at Aria, but Aria ducked the swing and snatched her pistol off the floor. Shepard stumbled under the swing's momentum and spun with her gun raised in both hands. Aria's pistol fired. Shepard froze.

"I just killed Jack," Aria said.

Breath leaked from Shepard's lungs, and her eyes flashed down to Jack lying at Aria's feet. Blood oozed from a maroon hole in her forehead. Aria aimed the pistol at Joker.

"No!" Shepard said and drove all her energy into a biotic throw.

It flashed over Aria's barrier, and Shepard hurtled at her firing her gun. Someone slammed into her from the side – one of the mercs. It knocked her sideways, and she stumbled. The pistol dropped from her hand. The merc stepped back from her with a needle held up in one hand.

Shepard gasped and slapped a hand over her arm where he'd pricked her. A shadow moved over her, and Aria's fist hit her face. Shepard fell on the floor. This was impossible. Even having fought beside her, this was more than she imagined, like fighting a matriarch or justicar, maybe worse.

Shepard flared and twisted against the floor to face her. Her wrists pulled back with a click. The energy across her skin cut off. A merc stood up from behind her with a tiny glowing key. Shepard twisted to see the biotic cuffs on her wrists. Aria snatched the biotic key from the merc's hand and smiled over top her.

"Did you think I was bluffing?"

Aria motioned at Jack. Shepard met her fixed, hollow stare. Blood pooled around the glassy eyes and trickled down her temples. Shepard bit back a sob with her face pressed against the floor. Strands of hair stuck to her lips, and her eyes shifted to Joker. Her dropped his eyes and hung his head. Aria tapped her pistol against her leg and glanced at Liara's breathing but still form.

"So, Commander Shepard and the Shadow Broker. Could be useful. Cuff her too." Aria caught one of the merc's eyes and motioned at Liara. Aria leveled her pistol at Joker's face. "Are you useful, Pilot?"

"Aria," Shepard said.

Aria gazed down at Joker. His chest rushed in and out as he clutched his bloody leg. The barrel hovered in front of his face. He bowed his head all the way to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Aria!" Shepard squirmed on the floor. Things were starting to become dizzy. "You investigated my crew, didn't you? Then you know Joker's the best damned pilot the Alliance has, and he knows this ship. It's a prototype warhead, and you'll be on the run. Merc pilots won't cut it, Aria."

"Trust _him_ to work for _me_? Please."

"He'll do it, Aria. He cares about Liara. He cares about me. Hell, he worked for Cerberus once. He'll deal."

Aria smirked at Shepard. "Maybe. We can sort it out later." She turned to the two mercs. "Line them up. Fasten their legs."

Aria motioned at the far wall with her pistol, and Shepard's breath loosened. Hands grabbed her from behind.

"You helped me with Omega and the Terminus System was a nice gesture, but now we're settled up."

The merc threw Shepard against the wall and fastened her ankles with another pair of biotic cuffs. The other merc threw Liara and Joker down beside her.

"Inject them all," Aria said and touched her ear.

She walked into the corner and spoke too softly for Shepard to hear. A merc pulled out a partial vial of some amber liquid and drew it up with the used needle. She injected Liara first.

"And take their Omni-Tools," Aria said over her shoulder.

"The cripple, too, with this?" the merc asked holding up the needle.

"All of them," Aria said.

Joker held Shepard's eyes as the merc jammed the needle into his arm. The merc tore off Joker's Omni-Tool and then grabbed Shephard's. He left them laying against the wall watching the rushing feet and rising tension as Aria yelled into her comm. Joker's eyes drooped and his head lolled to the side. The room had an uneven feel and her fingertips tingled. Shepard rested her head against the wall, breathing slowing, and closed her eyes.


	115. Chapter 115

**Chapter 46**

"Major." A marine rushed up to Kaidan reporting in.

"Distribute those." Kaidan pointed at a crate of supplied against the docking bay's wall. He motioned toward the C-Sec officers ducking behind the holographic shields.

The officer rushed off with grenades swinging in a belt pouch under his arm. More supplies poured in as Alliance officers continued to report in. The building churned like a mad house. Terra Firma troops poured in all over the building. Explosions and gunfire flashed in the hallways outside the cargo bay. Kaidan waved in another lost-looking man in civilian attire.

"Go there." Kaidan motioned to a group of riflemen covering an engineer setting up turrets. "Here." Kaidan tossed him a rifle. The man looked familiar - a second lieutenant on ground forces, Sikes or something like that.

They needed more guns and clips. It should have come in already. Kaidan twisted to Miranda standing beside him.

She lowered her pistol. "What?"

"Something's wrong," Kaidan said. "The team I sent for the weapons, they should be back."

Miranda gazed around at the soldiers crowded in the docking bay and swarming in the HQ hallway. A spray of bullets hit the wall behind them. Kaidan and Miranda ducked. Kaidan lifted his rifle and fired back. A group of commandoes slipped just outside the biotic shield protecting the Normandy's cargo bay. A grenade sailed overhead into a group of soldiers on their left.

"Behind the shields! Get down!" Kaidan yelled rushing their direction.

It exploded. Holographic shields toppled over on the men ducking behind. One of the soldier held a bleeding leg and grimacing, but the rest were unhurt. A soldier in the front jumped up and lobbed a grenade back at the commandoes.

"No!" Kaidan roared, but it was already thrown. "Everyone in front, get back!"

The grenade ricocheted off the commandoes' biotic shield and rolled back across the floor into the soldiers. The men holding the front stumble back, and Kaidan waved the shield-soldiers closer. The explosion knocked them back. Shields fell over, a man down, and two turrets on their side.

"Damnit." Kaidan searched around. "Garrus!"

Garrus stood a few meters off looking down his sniper rifle. He hunched inside a horseshoe of control panels controlling the docking bay.

"Garrus," Kaidan yelled across the gunfire and motioned to the squad struggling up from the explosion. "Show them how to use the grenades."

Garrus nodded and set his rifled back against the wall. He sprinted around the console in a crouch and rushed to the soldiers. A man in civies stood and lifted up a grenade. Garrus caught his arm. Hopefully, the soldiers would listen to a turien.

"Tali?"

"I'm here." Tali rushed up from the open door to the hallway. It flashed with gunfire behind her. "Problems, Kaidan."

"What problems?" Kaidan rushed around people to get a better view down the hall.

A row soldiers fired their rifles into a coalescing sea of Terra Firma agents pushing in on the cargo bay. They were sandwiched then. Judging by the drones and flashes of blue, the terrorists had engineers and at least one biotic.

"They think we have the Councilors," Tali said.

"What?"

"Someone was yelling it at us."

"Miranda," Kaidan said taking a few steps over to get her attention. "Lead those soldiers in the hallway. Terra Firma's coming from behind. The team that went to retrieve the weapons may be trying to get through."

Miranda dashed around him and was shooting before she cleared the hallway door on his other side.

"Will they listen to her?" Tali asked.

"She's hard to ignore." Kaidan ducked under more bullets. A grenade bounced off the wall beside him. "Go! Go!"

Kaidan staggered into Tali pushing her toward the hallway door. They tumbled around the corner. A spray of metal exploded and peppered into the floor of the doorway.

"We still can't get to the bomb?" Tali asked. "It's in the Normandy's cargo hold?"

"It's when they actually succeed in offloading it, I'll be worried."

A grinding shriek reverberated from the inside the docking bay. Kaidan's forehead pinched, and he shoved around Tali back into the fray. Sunset shined through a slit opening in the docking bay wall in front of the Normandy.

"They're opening the doors." Kaidan pushed around a soldier focused in changing his rifle clip.

Kaidan hopped over the horseshoed desk of console controls. It had to be the docking bay's controls for the gate. Kaidan reached out to search the screens, but stopped. Sparks spit out from the cracked glass under Kaidan's hands. Accidentally or intentionally, the controls were dead.

"Major." A marine rushed up. "They're bringing the warhead down the ramp."

Kaidan rushed around the marine and peered through the rows of men and rifles. The warhead, about the size of man, rolled down the Normandy's cargo bay loading ramp. Commandoes surrounded it. Their massive shield around the Normandy's cargo bay flickered but held. They pushed the shield forward down the door's ramp as they advanced. The docking bay's massive gates rumbled still grinding all the way open. The Normandy could almost fit through now. Kaidan's heart jumped into his throat.

"Tali," Kaidan said.

Tali stood in the hall doorway where he'd left her. She released a drone.

"They're opening the docking bay gates remotely from the Normandy," he said. "The bay's controls are out."

"You reverse the gate doors manually," Tali said. "The operation circuits are on the wall left of the gate."

Space in front of the Normandy by the gate was mostly clear of the fighting as it concentrated around the Normandy's cargo bay. Kaidan squinted to see the manual operator paneling beside the gate.

"I'll do it, Kaidan," Tali said. "Look! The Normandy's FTL drivers."

"What?" Kaidan's head snapped to face the ship.

The propulsion cells at the back of the ship fired with a low blue ripple. They did plan to burst out the dock the minute they offloaded that nuke. That kind of energy release would flash vaporize everything in the bay, and set off the nuke for sure. They wouldn't have time to disarm it. The ship would have to be pretty damn fast to escape the nuclear blast, but the Normandy wasn't a regular ship. Aria must believe the feat was possible. That, or she was just desperate.

"Go. I've got you." Kaidan turned to Tali and motioned at the gate.

Tali hugged the the wall as they darted through the tide of soldiers pushing forward around the Normandy. Kaidan kept at her at her heels. He threw up a biotic shield as they left the crowd of soldiers and broke into the open toward the cargo bay gate. A grenade bounced off Kaidan's shield and rolled away. He didn't even feel the explosion as they rushed forward. Bullets rippled over the bubbled shield, and two commandoes broke away from Normandy. One held up a shield to cover them as they rushed after Kaidan and Tali.

"Go! Go!" Kaidan spurred her faster.

"I am," Tali panted through her mask.

Kaidan flung a field of energy at the commandoes. It didn't faze them, just absorbed over their shield. They neared the gates, and Tali slid to a stop in front of the panel. She ripped it open and spread a hand over the circuitry. The Omni-Tool glowed on her wrist.

"Here it is," she murmured.

The Normandy's engines hummed louder. The gate doors had completely contracted and stood wide open beside them. Kaidan planted his feet next to Tali, lifted his rifle at the commandoes, and fired. The mercs skidded to a halt as it speckled their shield, and they looked back and forth between the open gate and the rising hum of the Normandy. Kaidan threw a reave at their shield, and it flickered with a sustained burst of energy. They backed up as Kaidan hit their shield again, and it collapsed. They turned on their heels and raced back toward the ship. A team of marines moved to intercept them but stumbled back in a wave of blue light as the commandoes shoved through them. The nuke might have been offloaded. The ship looked ready to leave.

"There," Tali said.

The gate doors screamed as the metal grated and rumbled into motion. They started to shuttered close.

"Can they go faster?" Kaidan turned to her.

"Of course not."

The gate was opened well beyond what was needed to fit the Normandy. Even retracting, it was so wide. The Normandy roared with energy. Mass fields flickered behind the Normandy from the brightening propulsion cells. He couldn't let that nuke be offloaded.

Kaidan charged back toward the ship and absorbed into the seas of soldiers. He danced to the side to see through the heads and shields. The cargo bay's ramp flashed with biotics and a heightening commotion. They commandoes festered at the bottom of the Normandy's cargo bay ramp fighting with biotics. Their shield had broken, and someone was driving against them. It looked like Grunt.

Kaidan pulled in closer. Grunt pushed the warhead up against the commandoes holding the cargo bay ramp. Alliance soldiers huddled around Grunt and fended off the commandoes trying to get at him with biotics. The warhead cleared the edge of the ramp as Grunt drove toward the Normandy's cargo bay. Commandoes not on the ramp by holding back the soldiers on the floor of the docking bay raised their rifles. They trailed Grunt's ascent but hesitated, looking back and forth at each other and gesturing at the bomb. A few flung biotic fields after him as drove the line of commandoes all the way back into the Normandy's cargo bay. Soldiers piled up behind him and pushed into the Normandy's cargo bay.

The docking bay gate in front of the Normandy closed with a echoing bang, and the room darkened as the sunset's light cut away. The FTL drives still flickered overhead on the Normandy. With the bomb aboard, they weren't going anywhere though. Kaidan shoved through the rows of men crowded around the ramp.

"Careful firing," Kaidan called. "Don't hit the warhead."

He clawed through to the front line. The commandoes' shieldwall reappeared in cargo bay in a sudden flash. Grunt and the other soldiers were already inside the Normandy's bay within. It made the hair stand on Kaidan's neck as the commandoes walked down the ramp pushing the shield outward. Whatever soldiers were left on the ramp reeled back from the advancing shield.

"Everyone, back!" Kaidan yelled motioning the front line to retreat.

The soldier were too packed in around the Normandy to move. The commandos stopped on the bottom of the ramp. The shield expanded out from the ship's ramp and grew brighter and brighter.

"Down!" Kaidan yelled.

The shield burst. The explosion flung Kaidan to the floor. Some men flew against the far walls. Every soldier that had been crowded around the ramp was down. Soldiers screamed pushing up off each other and shoving away debris. Some weren't getting up.

A blue form broke from the line of commandoes on the Normandy's ramp and sprinted into the docking bay. It was Aria. She ran toward the docking bay's manual gate controls and Tali. Kaidan threw off a metal shield pinning his legs and pushed up off the floor. He tore to his feet after her.

Tali turned to see Aria approaching and raised her Omni-Tool. Electrical charges streaked from her Omni-Tool at Aria, but she dodged. Tali fired her pistol. Aria slammed into her and threw her against the wall. Aria ran her hand over the gate's manual controls, searching, then drew her pistol and backed up. She fired at the panel. It exploded in sparks as Kaidan neared. She punched it with a glowing blue fist as if to finish it off, and it broke apart. Kaidan shot her in the back of the head.

Point blank, even against a barrier, was enough to kill anyone. Usually. Aria slammed forward into the wall. The wall was clean of blood as she slipped down. Kaidan's mouth opened with a furrowing frown. He aimed down at her and fired again. Her barrier flashed, but it was still holding. Impossible.

His feet came out from under him. He slammed back onto the floor as Aria drew back her leg that had tripped him. Kaidan struggled to sit and aimed his pistol at her. Aria hit him with a burst of energy, and it tore through his barrier. She raised her pistol at his face.

A boot kicked Aria's pistol out of her hand. It flew through the air as Tali kicked her in the chest. Aria caught her foot. She shoved Tali back and regained her balance. Her hand shot out. She grabbed Tali's facemask and smacked her against the wall sending pulses of energy rippled over Tali's body. Aria's pistol spun at her feet from hitting the wall. She reached a hand out. It glowed blue and flew into her grasp.

"Call off your men," Aria said glancing down at Kaidan and pressing the barrel to Tali's mask.

Kaidan stared up the barrel of his pistol at her. He pushed himself up with the other hand and stood in front of her.

"You shot me point blank," Aria said. "I'm strong. My barrier's impenetrable. That won't do anything. Call your men off, or I kill her."

"And then I'll kill you. No barrier's impenetrable."

"Last chance."

Kaidan hesitated. He lowered his pistol.

"Now call them—"

An echoing boom exploded behind them. Tali dropped from Aria's grasp, and Aria reeled into the wall. Her shield flickered. Kaidan grabbed Tali's wrist. A shield bubbled out around him, and he yanked her close. Aria flashed out and snagged Tali's other arm. Another boom echoed, and Aria fell back against the wall it. It sounded like a sniper rifle. Kaidan pulled Tali in close under the shield. Aria righted herself on her feet and slammed a storm of enegery into his shield. Kaidan stumbled back, and pressed his pistol through a slot in the shield. Aria dashed away.

Commandos fired on them as Aria broke clear. Kaidan spurred after her, but Tali wasn't coming. Kaidan stopped and glanced back. Tali held a bleeding leg and waved him on. Kaidan hesitated, glancing after Aria, and rushed back to Tali. He threw up a shield and held back the spray of bullets covering Aria's dove into the swirl of commandoes and soldiers fighting around the Normandy. In the distance, Garrus stood up from the broken bank of consoles against the wall.

The docking bay's gates squealed beside them and started to draw open. The Normandy must be opening them remotely again. The manual controls blinked under cracked paneling. They couldn't manually override the gates now.

Kaidan squinted at the Normandy with a heavy feeling in his chest. The commandoes had pushed his men and the warhead back onto the Normandy's cargo bay ramp. It was on the outside of the commando's shieldwall being driven down the ramp. It still wasn't on the cargo bay floor. At least, they had that.


	116. Chapter 116

**Chapter 47**

"They're closing the gate," a merc called from the Normandy's cockpit.

Aria's feet pounded past Shepard's head and up the gangway.

"How?" she snapped.

"Manual controls on the wall next to the gate. Look."

Aria's footsteps plunged back into the CIC.

"They've pushed the warhead back into the cargo hold? What's happening?" Aria asked in a cold voice touching the comm at her ear. She stood next to the elevator and surveyed the CIC. Her gaze shifted down to Shepard lying against the wall. Shepard closed her eyes. The elevator doors dinged opened. Aria's footsteps moved inside. "Push them back. I'm coming."

The elevator doors slid shut. Shepard's eyes flew open, and she surveyed the room. The mercs' voices projected down the gangway from the cockpit. Joker and Liara lay against the wall, limp with eyes closed. Shepard bumped Joker's leg. He didn't move. He was really out then. They'd been injected from the same vial, Shepard was sure. She'd only felt a passing dizziness though, maybe some numbness. The needle had definitely gone into her arm though. She'd felt it. It hadn't been long since Miranda's binding antidote, maybe an hour. Miranda said she hadn't measure it. She'd given Shepard the full vial. It must still be in her system then. Shepard shifted against the floor and looked back at the gangway.

"There she is. That quarian better run," a merc said.

The dead merc she'd killed earlier lay face up against the galaxy map's consoles. Shepard scooted across the floor and turned her back to him. She fumbled over the merc's body with her cuffed hands. No gun, no biotic cuff keys. The merc's Omni-Tool was even missing.

"Damnit," Shepard hissed under her breath.

"Damn." The merc's voice boomed from the cockpit. "She took him down."

Shepard spun her head and scanned the room. With cuffed ankles and wrists, there was no way she would take down both mercs.

"Aria's gonna kill that quarian."

Shepard's fingers strayed to the pouch on her belt. She felt around inside. She pushed aside the leftover cord. Footsteps echoed down the gangway as her fingertips brushed the bristles of the toothbrush. All a biotic cuff needed was an exacting, small mass effect field to manipulate the lock. Forget bobbypins, Traynor's toothbrush was coming in handier every moment. The footsteps were coming faster.

"Open the gates again from that terminal," a voice from the cockpit called.

"Got it."

The merc on the gangway skipped down the steps and rushed over the to the CIC's console facing the galaxy map. Shepard stood up behind her glowing blue and pulled back a fist. The biotics-fueled punch sent the merc sprawling forward over the console. His shield broke with a spray of spittle and blood over the map. Shepard snapped his neck with a flash of biotics.

Even from inside the ship, she could hear the docking bay doors squeal. Down the gangway, light widening through the cockpit's windshield as the doors opened. A silhouette stood up from the pilot's seat and turned with a rifle. She hadn't been quiet.

Shepard spun back to the CIC console and slammed down on it with a glowing fist. She didn't know how to control the gates, and she didn't have an Omni-Tool. She did all she could. She sent volts of energy popping and sparking into the console. The galactic map disappeared and the console's lights shorted out. The doors outside ground to a halt.

A bullet shattered the console's glass. One hit her arm. She rolled for cover. She lifted the dead merc's pistol from the floor and darted to the wall. A new crack widened in her armor up the left arm. Shepard almost reached for her barrier, but she'd better save her reserves. This was just one merc.

"We have a problem. Pilot's dead. We'll need the commando pilot," the merc yelled, probably into his comm.

His feet pounded down the gangway. Shepard crouched against the wall, tensed and waiting. The feet stopped.

"What?" the merc said. "You're sure? I'll protect the cockpit."

His footsteps backed up, and he ran back down the gangway to the cockpit. Shepard spun around the corner and fired. The merc dodged and stumbled against the cockpit chair. Shepard tore down the gangway firing her pistol. The merc twisted and hit a button behind him. The cockpit doors slid shut. Shepard slammed into them and clawed at the seal. She pushed the door's open button, but it flashed red.

The gangway hummed beneath her feet. Energy built in the air. Shepard spun around panting. The merc she'd just killed had to have an Omni-Tool. Shepard raced back to the CIC. A loud explosion made the ground shutter beneath her. She careened down the gangway stairs and caught herself against the CIC consoles. It hadn't been the nuke. They wouldn't still be here. The vibration through the ship died away.

She looked up at the blinking red lights above the gangway. They'd fired the damned lasers. Her finger curled around the console in a choking grip, and she cursed. It hadn't sent off the warhead, but it could have damaged it, started the combustion process. Aria was getting reckless, desperate. Shepard searched the merc for his Omni-Tool. It would have to do. She turned back to the cockpit and clutched her pistol tighter. At least he wasn't the pilot, apparently. He wouldn't be flying them out. What she needed was to find Aria.

 

* * *

 

The laser blast shook the entire docking bay. The flash blinded them in a burst of fire and energy. Lights shattered overhead and fell from the ceiling. People flew across the bay, some hit the wall. A smell of burned chemical and ash rolled over them from the scorched section of the bay in front of the Normandy.

Kaidan sat up with a shield glowing out from his hand. Sunlight streamed through the charred gap in the docking bay doors. Pieces of metal crumbled and fell away from the blackened hole in the middle. The hole's edges still glowed red from the laser fire. The doors had grinded to a stop too narrow for the Normandy to escape through. This had been Aria's counter solution – insane. The Normandy would certainly fit through now.

Kaidan pushed himself up. He and Tali had made it back to the soldiers surrounding the Normandy's cargo bay. Good thing too. Some of the men on fringe closest to the gates weren't getting up.

The commandoes lying flat on the Normandy's cargo bay ramp rolled up off their backs. The mass effect shield flickered up around them again. Aria charged down the ramp waving them up and ordering them forward. Four commandoes rushed down the cargo ramp behind her pushing the warhead. Before the blast, the Alliance soldiers had pushed the nuke all the back up the ramp. It had seemed too easy all of a sudden. Now it made sense by – Aria wanted to protect it from the laser blast. Kaidan prayed it wasn't damaged, combustion ignited and starting to build. Aria helped the commandos extend a bright shield wall as she drove them down the ramp.

Kaidan scrambled through the soldiers searching for the right faces. They crawled to their feet dazed and searching for their weapons. Some of the men just lay unmoving as Kaidan tripped around them. Paneling fell from the ceiling above exploding into the men around him. A bulkhead had taken out a whole group of soldiers by the hallway doors. The door wasn't completely occluded, but it was plenty blocked. Miranda leaned against the wall holding her side as red expanded out across her white suit. Kaidan tore his eyes away and grabbed Garrus's arm to help him stand up from the floor. Garrus rested his sniper rifle on his shoulder with a huff and gained his footing. He held his left hand at an odd angle against his chest.

"Garrus," Kaidan said. "They're bringing the warhead down. The docking bay gates are wide open. We need to get everyone out of the docking bay. Now."

Garrus blinked at Kaidan. "We need to stop Aria."

Garrus held the rifle with his good hand and lowered it from his shoulder.

"No." Kaidan pushed his rifle away and stood in front of him. "We can't hit that warhead with crossfire. The casing might already be weakened. We struggle over it too much … No. Get everyone back. Leave only the front line. Everyone else is collateral damage."

Tali stumbled up beside Kaidan, and Garrus released a long breath. He reached a hand out and steadied her.

"You … you're okay?" Garrus asked her.

"Me? I'm okay. Just my leg."

"Garrus." Kaidan edged into his line of sight. "Get everyone out. They can slip around that bulkhead into the hall. Any biotic send back to me."

Garrus nodded. He squeezed Tali's arm before backing up. He shouted and waved at the men standing up in the back rows. Soldiers behind the frontline drained back to the hallway door with Garrus's urging.

Kaidan rushed back to the Normandy. Men were already regrouped and pressing in around it. Grunt fired over the heads of the soldiers in front of him with a roar. Commandoes fired back and threw biotics.

"Grunt," Kaidan said.

Grunt glanced over at Kaidan with a grin. "Their shield's weakening."

"Your team here," Kaidan said. "Keep the Normandy's hangar door open. Whatever it takes."

Grunt laughed and turned to the soldiers around him. He drew their attention. "Shut up. Listen up."

Aria pressed the shield wall further down the ramp as she lead the commandoes with the bomb. Grunt and his men pressed forward, but Aria held them back. The warhead rolled out onto the docking bay's floor. There was no way to stop it. With Aria leading the commandoes, the shieldwall was too strong.

"Tali." Kaidan rushed through the soldier to find her. "The warhead's down the ramp. With Aria there, we're not getting it back up. I'll shield you. We need to disarm the warhead's core. If the ship jumps and the FLT propulsion fires …"

"Yes, I know."

"If we can disarm it, the FTL won't ignite it. Might start the buildup, but it won't explode on the ship jumping."

"The docking bay will vaporize." Tali stopped.

"I know." Kaidan turned to her. "That's why Garrus's pulling the men back. But if that core isn't disarmed, nothing will matter."

"We have to stop them from leaving then."

"We can't get through the commandoes' shield."

"Shepard's inside. Maybe she—"

"We need to focus on this."

Tali fell silent, then nodded. "I'm ready."

Aria retreated leaving the warhead on the docking bay floor. She streaked back to the Normandy and up the ramp with commandoes at her heels. Kaidan put an arm under Tali to support her wounded leg, and they rushed to the warhead abandoned on the docking bay floor. Grunt charged at it motioning to his men to push it back up again. Kaidan waved him off. Aria strengthening the commandoes' shield would be too much to overcome. The Normandy's carbo bay door would close, and they'll have lost time in trying to disarm it.

He was almost there. The commandoes' bullets pinged around him, and he threw up a shield as they neared the warhead. Gunfire stopped. No one wanted the warhead to go off sooner than they could escape. Kaidan eased Tali down next to the warhead. She hunched and started to work at opening the casing.

Grunt stormed up the Normandy's ramp with his men to prevent it from closing. Aria drove the shieldwall out at him to push them back.

"Kaidan," Tali said. "They scrambled the frequency on the arming sequence. This will take—"

"What can I do?" Kaidan sank next to her holding his shield up with one hand.

Tali raised her Omni-Tool. "It's a one-person job. I'm the best for it. I'll try."

Aria disappeared into the shadows of the Normandy's cargo's bay. Grunt's soldiers had managed to make it partway up the ramp, but a team of commandoes held them back.

"Kaidan." Miranda appeared through a crowd of soldiers who were falling back.

She staggered on her feet holding her side.

Kaidan stood with a deep frowned. "You're—"

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm the only other biotic. You need me."

"All right." Kaidan nodded slowly. "Take my spot with the shield. No one's targeting us, but we can't let any debris or crossfire hit the core when Tali extracts it."

Miranda grimaced, adjusting the grip on her side, and raised her other hand up. A shield flared out from her fingertips. Kaidan released his shield and fumbled through his pockets. Bandages were the only medic supplies he had on him. He pulled her resistant hand away her side. The wound was deep and bloody, but he couldn't see much through the fabric. He replaced her hand over the bandages, and she cringed as he pressed her fingers in tight. With that, he rushed down next to Tali. Even if the disarming was a one-person job, he could at least help her pull the out the core.


	117. Chapter 117

**Chapter 48**

The elevator doors slid open to the Normandy's cargo bay. Aria's eyes widened. Shepard fired into her chest. Aria stumbled backward in the cargo bay. Her barrier dimmed as Shepard stepped out and firing again and again. Aria flung a hand at her, and Shepard slammed sideways into a shuttle. She pushed back to her feet still firing her pistol. The desk of consoles in front of the elevator was the closest cover, and Aria dove around them. Sparks danced up from the glass screens from the Shepard's bullets.

A commando smashed into Shepard with a glowing Omni-blade. Shepard grabbed the commando's wrist and pressed her the barrel of her pistol to the commando's temple. Blood sprayed in Shepard's face from the shot, and she shoved the commando's body away.

"Close the bay's ramp!" Aria yelled to her commandoes up by the ramp.

Aria threw a biotic pulse at Shepard and edged to the elevator. She hit the open button, and fired her pistol at Shepard. Shepard ducked and spun to her feet with her pistol out. She lowered her aim from Aria's chest. Aria flinched as the elevator's button burst into a spray of shattered glass. Shepard fired again and the light went out in the elevator. Aria growled looking over her shoulder at the dead elevator.

A bullet skipped off Shepard's hip from behind. Commandoes were firing at her from the cargo bay ramp. Shepard slipped around the shuttle for cover.

"To the ladders," Aria yelled at two of the commandoes who were rushing in from the cargo bay's ramp.

An explosion boomed through the cargo bay from somewhere on the ramp. Shepard slid around the shuttle and glimpsed Grunt through the shield wall. He held another grenade, timing it, before lobbing it at the shield. It exploded mid throw right as it connected with the shield. The commandoes staggered back a step and the explosion echoed around the bay.

Aria joined the front line of commandoes at the ramp. She slammed a wave of energy down at the encroaching soldiers, and they flew back. Grunt toppled out of sight, and Aria threw out another burst of energy to clear the ramp again. Another wave of soldiers rushed over the fallen, but Aria kept them scattered from the ramp.

Aria had to know she'd be coming through Shepard to retake the cockpit. Close the hatch, fine, but Aria wasn't getting her commandos to the bridge without a fight. Aria must have been thinking the same thing from her creased expression as she looked back at Shepard. The hangar bay's ramp whined to life. Aria directed more commandos to fall back and target Shepard. But it was what she did next that made Shepard's heart rate spike.

Aria drew one of the commandos to her side and waved up at the FTL propulsion cells outside the hangar doorway. They smolder blue a light blue, active but not charging. Shepard ducked under an attacker's Omni-blade as she saw the commando Aria had talked to rush to a panel beside the hangar doors. Her Omni-Tool lit up the corner of the bay as she bent over a panel in the floor. The FTL cells flared outside the hangar doors. Aria smiled at the commando working on the panel and gave her a nod.

Shepard biotically threw the commando attacking her with the Omni-blade and shot her in the chest. She ducked from a spray of bullets and took cover behind a crate. Half a dozen commandos were left – Aria was getting low.

She frowned back at Aria and the commando working on the panel. Cortez had said something on their way past the Sol relay and Jump Zero, when the cargo bay was packed to bursting - something about the engineers not being able to access the FTL's system panel. As the FLT cells brightened to either side of the door, flames enlarging, it hit her - the system was overloading. Shepard gaped. Aria was suicidal, either get away or everyone died with her. Aria must be afraid of being pursued up to the cockpit. She knew this would leave Shepard toying with the panel to stop the overload. The commando left the panel with a grin and came back to Aria's side. The hangar door with the ramp starting to rise, and the commandoes retreated into the bay.

Shepard broke cover and launched herself at the open panel in the floor. She wasn't good at control panels. She didn't even have her own Omni-Tool – damn, Aria! Shepard fired at Aria and the commandos as she turned course to the closing hatch door. A few shots followed her. She covered herself with a shield and shot back dropping one of them.

She strained on her toes and peered over the rising ramp door. She caught sight of Tali hunching by the nuke with her finger flying over the screen on her Omni-Tool. Miranda slumped against the warhead holding a dim, blue shield over the nuke. Kaidan was hunched next to Tali, but as if feeling something, turned and met her eye. Shepard pointed up at the FTL cells building in intensity and at the corner inside the Normandy's cargo bay. Kaidan tore to his feet and surged toward the Normandy.

Shepard held back the wave of commandoes charging into her shield. One took Shepard's bullet in the neck. She drove them back as the ramp tilted upward. Armored fingers caught the edge, glowing blue. A shadow passed overhead as Kaidan pulled himself up. He slid down the ramp and clashed to the floor. Shepard threw a pulse of energy out at the commandoes as they rushed at him.

"Up to the bridge!" Aria yelled from across the bay.

The commandoes drew back. Shepard met Kaidan's eye and flicked her hand at the open floor panel then turned and charged after them. Kaidan slid across the floor to the open panel and raised the Omni-Tool on his arm.

Aria skipped backward firing at Shepard. She paused, and she followed Kaidan with her eyes. She grinned and raised a glowing hand at the cargo bay's ceiling. Metal groaned and shifted, then it tore. Shepard turned.

"No!"

Kaidan threw up a biotic shield as metal rained down on top of him. Shepard reached out with glowing hands and caught a bulkhead. It left her open, and Aria hit her with a bolt of energy. Shepard stumbled but kept her focus and tipped the bulkhead to the side letting it slid against the moving pile of debris. Shepard dodged another flash of energy from Aria, and more metal panels tore from the ceiling and rained down on the mound of beams and siding. Shepard raced to pile of metal and skidded up against it.

"Kaidan!"

"I'm fine." Layers of metal muffled his voice. "I can hold my shield and still do this. Go."

Aria was motioning the commandoes she had left to the cargo bay's ladder. Shepard bolted toward and fired her gun. Aria dodged to the other side of the bay and looped around the shuttle. Shepard swung around to catch her the other direction, but Aria had stopped on the other side.

The building whine of the overloading FTL system died into a hum. Aria hissed from her hiding spot at the end of the shuttle. The overload had stopped. The FTL cells wouldn't flare until the pilot actually jumped the ship to FTL.

Shepard sneaked along the side of the shuttle and spun around the back corner with her gun. Aria ducked the shot. Her Omni-Tool's screen glowed as if in the middle of something, and Aria gave a smug smile. She slid around the corner for cover.

"Read about this shuttle type after your last run-in, Shepard. Quaint features."

Shepard rounded the corner. Her bullet grazed Aria's barrier, and she hit Shepard with a biotic throw. Shepard flashed her barrier just in time. She only stumbled back a few steps. Aria turned and raced to the ladder on the other side of the bay with Shepard on her heels. Aria's shield bubbled out behind her absorbed Shepard's shots. Aria panted, still holding the shield, and grabbed the ladder rungs.

"Shepard," she said over her shoulder. "You remember your Achille's heel?"

"What?" Shepard slammed into the ladder below her as Aria scurried up the rungs.

A commando stood overhead waiting for Aria and fired down at Shepard.

Aria paused on the top rung. "That shuttle's drive is charging. I keep breaking things. Take some time turning it off, I think."

Shepard's frown deepened, and her gun clicked. She threw it aside. Aria took the commando's hand and lifted herself up. Shepard started up the ladder.

"You decide, Shepard. Stop me or save your Achille's heel," Aria said and slammed the ladder's hatch shut.

Shepard froze as the words repeated in her head. She looked over her shoulder. The side of the shuttle blinked with a row of red dashes. One dash turned green. She heard Cortez's voice in her head.

_"_ _The warm up on these types. Pretty damn easy to overload. Then it'll just take off."_

Shepard's eyes followed the path the shuttle would take. Kaidan. Her grip loosened, and she slipped. She grappled at the rungs and steadied herself. Kaidan was trapped under the mound of metal right in the shuttle's path. Even if he wasn't in the direct path, the shuttle accelerating into the bulkhead would kill anyone in the bay.

The hatch was sealed above her. All the ladders and winding passageways, climbing up floor by floor, Aria and the commandoes would reach the bridge. With her commando pilot in the cockpit, within minutes the ship would jump to FTL.

Shepard looked between the hatch overhead and the mound of metal scraps down in the bay. Her heart hammered in her chest. There was time to fight her way up Aria's trail and stop her jumping to FTL, or time to stop the shuttle and save Kaidan, not both. Her eyes lingered on the stack of metal, and she forced out a ragged breath. Shepard turned back to the ladder with a strangled sob and grabbed the next rung.

Each rung, she pulled herself across razor blades. Her joints stiffened as she reached the top. She grabbed the handle to the hatch. She paused. Chest pounding, she squeezed her eyes shut and rested her forehead against the cool of the ladder.

He was her weakness, as she'd worried all along. This was it then. She would never see him again. Losing her weakness, it's what she'd wanted by pushing him away. But staring into the reality, she knew – losing him wasn't going to make her strong all the way through, it was going to hollow her. She could see him again in her mind – glowing blue, looking up at her from the floor of the loading bay; her, steading herself on the Normandy's loading deck, blue cord in hand. Her eyes flashed open.

She dropped from the ladder and staggered as her feet hit the floor. She raced to the elevator, blood rushing. She didn't have much time. Glowing blue, she pulled the doors apart and burst inside. She threw open the top hatch with a biotic field. The elevator shaft telescoped into darkness overhead.

Shepard scrambled to the shuttle. The shuttle's back panel blinked with a cracked screen. Shepard turned on the Omni-Tool she'd taken from the merc. She wasn't a good tech even on her best days with her own Omni-Tool, but his had to work. She didn't have enough time to move the metal off Kaidan and evacuate the bay before the shuttle exploded.

Her chest pulsed as she linked with the shuttle. The program flicked up. She needed to bypass the activation keys and shut the drive down. A fourth blinking light on the side of the shuttle turned green. It was over halfway already. Shepard's fingers flew over the buttons. The screen turned red - access denied. Shepard tried again. Denied again. Another light turned green, two left. Shepard took gulping breaths through her mouth as she tried again. Denied.

"Damnit!" Shepard slammed her fist on the shuttle.

She was a bull in a china shop. If only she could solve this with her fist, not her tech skills. Her back straightened. On the side of the shuttle, the second-to-last light turned green. Shepard fell to her knees and threw off the shuttle's back panel cover. Shepard's fingers moved away from the danger icon on a red tube and over the hoses and circuitry connections. She tore out the first hose she touched. Nothing happened. The dashes still glowed overhead. She tore out another hose and another. She slammed her fists against the circuits. It didn't matter. She tore out everything. The shuttle hummed and shuddered, but the last red light was still blinking.

Shepard's fingers hovered over the danger icon. She ripped out the red tubbing. White gas burst out in plume into her face. It smelled like eezo. The shuttle's humming wound down as gas hissed out and fogged the air. The lighted dashmarks on the side of the shuttle went dark.

Shepard leaped up. She tore down the cargo bay to the imposing metal pile. She flared blue and tore at the bulkhead she'd rested down earlier. Grunting, she picked through the heavier beams and slid them aside. Her blood rushed. Aria was probably almost to the CIC. Shepard turned aside metal slabs and brushed away cluttered scrap pieces. It felt like it was taking forever. She slid off a piece of the ceiling's bulkhead. Blue shimmered in the gap between two sheets of metal beneath it. Shepard's breathing quickened, and she grabbed another bulky beam and shoved it off with a flare of blue across her skin. Debris shifted over the entire mound. Shepard stood back as it broke apart. Metal clattered to the floor. Blue welled out beneath it, pushing everything aside, and Kaidan stumbled out.

"Kaidan."

Shepard snatched his wrist as he was still gaining balance. Kaidan lurched after her in a stumble as she yanked him toward the elevator. His pace picked up, and she dropped his wrist. Pumping her arms and with both feet off the ground, she skid into the elevator.

"Shepard! What's going on?"

He toppled in behind her. Shepard ripped the blue cord out of her belt pocket and pressed it to his chest.

"Think you can do that knot-tying trick again?"

XXX

The elevator shaft brightened as Shepard reached out with a glowing hand. Keeping firm hold of the cord, she pulsed her biotic field to expand the space between the CIC's elevator doors and jimmy them apart. The doors cracked, and voiced echoed into the shaft. She couldn't make out the words. It was too soft and distant. Shepard clenched her teeth and pushed the doors apart enough to work her way through. She spilled out on her hands and knees in front of the galaxy map.

The volume rose on her right as voices mixed with a sudden click of footsteps. Aria and her two commandoes must have just come up the ladder by the war room. Shepard rolled to the side and hunkered beside the galaxy map. She held Kaidan's pistol against her shoulder and peeked over the bank of consoles. Joker and Liara still lay where Shepard had left them. Jack's body lay crumpled in the corner. Shepard bit her lip and tore her eyes away and focused on the war room's doorway. The door slid open.

"You, wait for Shepard," Aria's voice said. "Allis up to the cockpit."

"Aria, I've never flown a warship. Take off's going to be more complicated than I—"

"Just do it," Aria said coolly.

Aria came out of the war room with one of the commandoes. Shepard's eyes narrowed on the commando. She ducked back down and slipped along the galaxy map toward the gangway as the commando crossed the CIC. Aria's feet tapped further into the CIC. Her footsteps stopped by the elevator.

"Why is this—"

Shepard leapt to her feet and opened fired on the commando. The first shot drove the commando to her palms on the gangway. The next shots only shied off her barrier as it spread across her skin. Shepard rushed at her. Aria came flying around the side of the galaxy map and stopped in her way. The burst of energy between them threw them both back a step. It knocked Shepard's pistol spinning across the CIC floor. Shepard's eyes lasered on the commando behind Aria. She needed to kill the pilot, but she going to have to get through Aria.

Shepard lunged at her. They tumbled back against the gangway stairs. Shepard rolled on top of her and punched her in the face. Aria's hand fumbled for beside them. A gunshot echoed and pain exploded in Shepard's side. She crumpled, and Aria threw her over as she scrambled to her feet. Shepard checked her side. It was only a flesh wound, just skimmed her side. She grit her teeth against the pain, longing for her stolen Omni-Tool's medigel, and clawed to her knees.

Aria kicked her in the side. Shepard gave a sharp cry but rolled forward into her. Aria tumbled over top of her and hit the floor . Shepard struggled to tear Aria's pistol from her locked knuckles. They glowed blue straining against her to control it.

Something moved behind Shepard. She released the gun in time to dip low and avoid the commando's kick. She must have been the one Aria left in the war room. Shepard pulled the commando's feet out from under her. The commando slammed her head on the grated floor, and her fingers opened in shock. Shepard tore her gun away from her and shot her in the head. Two shots pointblank easily broke through her barrier.

The ship vibrated under Shepard's knees. The pilot had crawled her way up to the cockpit leaving a dribbling trail of blood. Shepard tore to her feet clutching the commando's pistol.

Aria slammed into her from behind. Shepard sprawled forward. Aria's boot ground into her back crushing her into the floor. A spent heat clip dropped by Shepard's face, and she heard the sound of Aria snapping in a new one. Shepard's fingers tightened on her pistol. She flared her barrier. Aria stumbling back, and Shepard rolled over, raised the gun … click. A dead clip.

Aria grinned. "Guess we both needed a change out. "She kicked the pistol out of Shepard's grasp, straddled her, and pressed her pistol into Shepard's forehead. "Your famous barrier skills stand up to point blank?" The barrel dug into her skin. Skin contact. Barrier. Aria pulled the trigger.

Aria roared and toppled backward in a flash of blue. Shepard's barrier wrapping Aria together with the pistol died away. The backfire must've hurt like hell. Shepard pushed up to her feet.

Aria scrambled over to the gangway stairs and threw up a flickering shieldwall. She swayed to her feet with blood dripped down her lips and off her chip. Shepard staggered back from shieldwall, feeling the biotic strain, and steadied her against the CIC's galaxy map consoles. She panted and narrowed her eyes looking through the filmy field at Aria.

"Hurry up," Aria yelled over her shoulder at the pilot.

The ship shuddered as engine systems warmed up.

"You pushed yourself too hard," Shepard said pointing at her.

"You can hardly stand."

"I'm not bleeding." Shepard touched the skin under her nose and held her clean finger out to Aria.

Aria looked back over her shoulder at the pilot. Lights lining the gangway flashed for takeoff, and Shepard's heart pulsed. She stood away from the CIC consoles. Aria turned back and met her eye.

"Chasing me up here, Shepard - how pragmatic. You took my advice."

Static crackled through the air. The ship's hum heightened, and Aria grinned at Shepard.

"I think we'll be taking this fight to the sky."

All the lights went out, and they dropped into darkness. Emergency lights flickered on as a warning bell sounded overhead. The hum of the engine died away. Shepard stepped up to Aria's shield wall. Aria cursed and swung her head to the pilot.

"What the hell was that?"

"That's my Achilles heel." Shepard smashed into Aria's shield and drove her back until it broke

"Something happened in engineering," the pilot said and stood.

"Shoot her," Aria ordered and scrambled away from Shepard.

"Don't bother," Shepard said to the commando. "Aria's lost. What do you want to happen to you?"

The commando looked down the barrel of her gun at Shepard. She chewed her lip then dropped her arms to her side. Almost to the cockpit, Aria cursed at her and turned left and ducked in next to the doors to the airlock. Shepard sighed picking up her biotic cuffs from earlier off the CIC's floor. She started down the gangway. The seal to the airlock hissed open and light spilt onto the gangway in front of the cockpit. Shepard shot forward with a groan. She slung the biotic cuffs at the pilot and spun to face open airlock doors. Aria was gone.

"Put those on," Shepard said. "Come over here. Hurry."

The commando snatched the cuffs off the floor, and Shepard fastened her to a beam on the gangway. Shepard checked them and then darted to the open door. The loading deck stood just on the other side, empty. The blue cord she'd used earlier caught her eye. It was still tied to the overhead beam, but the other side had been cut. Liara probably hadn't wanted tag-alongs. The cut cord dangled down the good length of the ship. Shepard gazed below. Aria released the end of the blue cord and landed firmly on her feet. She looked up with a wan smile and then bolted away.

Shepard grabbed the cord and leapt off. The cord wasn't long enough to reach the docking bay floor, but if Aria had done it, so could she. Shepard slid down the rope until she came to the end. The crumpled footbridge leaning against the Normandy made the landing much closer than the floor. Still, it was a drop of a few stories. Shepard clenched her jaw and let go. She hit the bridge. Her legs buckled, and she grasped at the broken railing biting off a scream. She'd give anything for medigel's cooling numbness to cover the pain in her right leg. She slid off the crumbling remains of the bridge and dropped onto the docking bay floor. The jolt up her leg sent her falling to her knees, and she didn't hold back the roar of pain.

Shepard pushed down the pain and stumbled to her feet. Aria was halfway across the almost-empty docking bay, and Shepard lurched after her in a stumbling run. The door to the hallway flashed with gunfire and a group of soldiers were struggling to move over a beam blocking the doorway. Aria didn't turn toward them and the exit to the hallway. Shepard frowned as she veered toward three figures huddled around the warhead. Shepard pushed forward harder tripping over her leg.

Garrus's attention snapped to Aria, and he aimed his rifle at her. She dodged his shot. Miranda lifted her head. She lay slumped on the floor against the warhead holding a faded biotic shield. She staggered to her feet and putting a second hand out to hold the shield. Still working on the bomb, Tali darted a look over her shoulder and then stood. She put herself between the bomb and Aria.

Aria slammed into Miranda's shield and crumpled her to the floor. Garrus smashed the butt of his rifle into Aria shoulder. She faltered as Tali followed it with an electric current shooting from her Omni-Tool. Aria roared, and redoubled her energy. Her body burned like a blue flame, and she hammered an explosion of biotic energy into Tali. She sailed backward, but Garrus caught her around the shoulders before she hit the bomb. Aria rapid-fired her pistol breaking Garrus shield. He let Tali drop to the floor and swung his rifle at Aria. She ducked and flung him across the floor in a biotic flash. Aria leveled her pistol at the bomb.

Shepard tore Aria backward by the shoulder, and the shot fired into the wall behind the warhead. Shepard threw her to the floor next to the bomb and kicked her pistol away. Aria's eyes had a glassiness and her head lolled to the side. She was probably struggling to stay conscious from biotic fatigue. Shepard put her boot on Aria's chest and held out her empty hand. Tali stumbled to her feet, grabbing her pistol off the floor, and put it in Shepard's hand. Aria gazed at the warhead. Her droopy eyes widened. Shepard wrapped both hands around the gun and aimed. Aria met Shepard's eye and grinned. Shepard fired.


	118. Chapter 118

**Chapter 49**

Shepard stepped away from Aria's body and threw the pistol aside.

"Check the warhead for damage." Shepard motioned to Tali.

Miranda lay flat on her back staring up at the ceiling. Shepard sank down beside her. Blood oozed between her fingers as she clutched a soppy bandage against her side.

"Anyone have medigel?" Shepard twisted to Tali and Garrus.

"No one has medigel," Garrrus said.

"Someone must." Shepard jumped up.

The Normandy's cargo bay doors groaned and stared to open.

"Status," Shepard twisted to Tali and motioned at the warhead.

Tali's Omni-light reflected over the core's glass casing. She looked up. "Still checking."

The Normandy's cargo ramp thumped as it hit the docking bay floor. Kaidan jogged down the ramp.

"Kaidan, you have medigel?" Shepard rushed to him in a limping run.

"No." His eyes dropped to her leg, and he bent reaching toward it.

"Not me." Shepard pulled back.

Kaidan's eyes moved past her to the warhead and widened on Miranda. He sprinted around Shepard and dropped to her knees beside her. She grimaced as he pulled her hand away from her side. Blood saturated the gauze, and Kaidan lifted it up and bent in closer. Rolls of gauze fell out of his pocket as he pulled out a new bandage and gestured Garrus over. He pressed Garrus's taloned hand over the bandage and held it tight looking him in the eye for a moment. Garrus nodded, and Kaidan got to his feet. The dark look on his face made Shepard's throat tightened.

"I'll check the ship for medigel," Kaidan said in a rush and dashed back to the Normandy.

Shepard squatted next to Garrus. He looked back at her with a fallen droop to his eyes and shook his head. Shepard's eyes dropped to Miranda. Miranda's pale throat moved in a swallow.

"Shepard," Miranda whispered.

"Save your strength," Shepard hushed her.

"Shepard …"

"You're not dying," Shepard said sharply.

Fingernails dug into her palms. Her eyes darted around the cargo bay searching for something that might help. Miranda's cool fingertips touched Shepard's hand, and Shepard snapped her eyes back to Miranda.

"You'll be fine," Shepard said firmly and stood.

"Shepard," Garrus murmured. "Stay with her."

Shepard moved around him and surveyed the bodies across the cargo bay. Her eyes fell on Aria's empty eyes and the gory remains of her forehead. Shepard launched herself at the body and grabbed Aria's Omni-Tool hand. That beating she'd taken, they'd both taken, Aria had to have medigel. Whether she had any left was another matter. Shepard checked Omni-Tool's medigel level. Her breath caught in her throat, and she wrenched the Omni-Tool off Aria's hand. Shepard threw herself down by Miranda and grabbed her limp hand. Shepard tore off Miranda's Omni-Tool and activated Aria's as she jammed it on her hand.

"See, Miran…"

Shepard's eyes froze on Miranda's face. Her head hung to the side, eyes closed, and face stiff and still. Shepard's heart dropped. She grabbed Miranda's shoulder and shook her.

"Miranda! Damnit."

Garrus released the pressure on Miranda's wound and caught Shepard's arm.

"Shepard, you did all—"

Miranda gasped. Her eyes opened wide.

"Miranda." Shepard pulled her arm away from Garrus and leaned over her.

Garrus released a slow breath and fumbled to put pressure back on the gauze. Miranda stared past Shepard's face up at the ceiling. Her hand lifted from the floor and prodded at the gauze under Garrus's hand.

"Let me see," Shepard said and pushed Miranda's hand down. She peeked under the bandage. "It's sealing."

Miranda took a shuddery breath. "I have scrapnel inside. It will keep-"

"Don't move. Rest." Shepard stood up. "Garrus, it's sealed. Liara and Joker are inside the Normandy. Go for help."

Jack's vacant eyes stared at her in her mind's eye. Shepard steadied her breathing. She couldn't think about that right now. Shepard stood over Tali.

"I'm going as fast as I can." Tali glanced up at her. "It's very complicated."

"I know. The fighting being kept away. We have time. I'm just keeping watch."

Shepard twisted on her heels. Aria's lips were still turned up at the corners as if smiling. Shepard's eyes narrowed on the warhead. It stood in Aria's direct sight before she'd looked up at Shepard with that grin. She sank down next to the warhead and peered at it.

"Shepard." Kaidan raced out of the Normandy.

Shepard stood. His brows furrowed and he shook his head.

"Nothing," he said.

His eyes fell on Miranda. She lay still with her eyes shut. Kaidan's mouth stiffened, and he rushed over to her.

"Kaidan." Shepard took a step after him.

He sank down covering his mouth with one hand and studied her face. He touched her hand. Miranda's eyes flew open. Kaidan tumbled backward and caught himself with a hand.

"What the hell?" he said.

"Kaidan." Shepard stood over him. "Aria had medigel in her Omni-Tool."

Kaidan pushed himself back onto his heels. "It didn't work?"

"There's shrapnel."

Kaidan checked the sealed wound and turned to Miranda's face. She looked back at him with dull eyes and didn't say anything. She probably felt like hell. Kaidan hesitated then touched her hand again. She gave a weak smile and rolled her eyes. Kaidan lips curved into a slow smile, and he stood up.

Gunfire and grenade explosions echoed from the hallway door across the docking bay. The metal beam blocking the doorway had finally been removed. Kaidan's eyes lingered on the hallway, and he turned to Shepard.

"I should—"

"Commander Shepard. Major Alenko." Commander Bailey charged through the hall doorway.

"Bailey?" Shepard's eyebrows rose.

He raced across the bay and stopped out of breath. "The Councilors. They're pinned down. Mason's there too. Hurt bad. If we don't—"

"I'll go," Kaidan said and darted around Bailey.

"Kaidan," Shepard called.

"No, Shepard." Kaidan twisted on his heels and trotted backward toward the door. "You're injured. Guard the warhead."

Shepard followed his gaze to her leg. With all the adrenaline, she'd hardly felt it.

"Be safe," she said.

Kaidan nodded, turned, and rushed out the door behind Bailey.

 

* * *

 

Garrus barreled in from the hallway with Grunt and two unknown Alliance officers in tow. Adams came out from behind Garrus as the group neared.

"Adams?"

"Heard you were down here," Adams said and looked at Tali. "Need help?"

Tali shook her head. "I'm close."

"Listen," Shepard said. "Miranda needs a med transport. We need a board to slide under her. Don't move her. Joker and Liara are in up the CIC. Got a commando cuffed up there. And, Jack's … her body's up there. Grunt, here, take this." She held Traynor's toothbrush out to him. "For Joker and Liara's biotic cuffs. Don't ask." She turned back to Miranda. "You have some more of that antidote?"

Miranda gave a limp nod and her fingers moved to her belt. She groped numbly at the zipper. Shepard moved her hand aside and pulled out a vial.

"This it?"

She held it in front of Miranda's eyes. Miranda squinted. Shepard pulled it back a bit.

"Yes," Miranda whispered, barely audible.

Shepard squeezed her fist around the vial and touched Miranda's shoulder.

"Just hold on."

"The Normandy's elevator is out," Shepard said.

She pressed the vial into Grunt's hand. Grunt and Adams rushed to the Normandy. Shepard sent the other two officers off for find something to use as a backboard. Garrus held his sniper rifle close to his chest and wandered over to the hallway door. Shepard paced. Her eyes strayed to the warhead's glass core again. She bent down beside Tali and put her face down close. Her eyes roamed over the core's clear casing and stopped dead. Her heart pounded. She pointed with a finger, careful not to touch the surface.

"What's that?" she said.

"What are you …" Tali bent down to look. Her breath hissed out. "Keelah."

"Then it is a crack. You can still disarm it, right?"

"That must have been from Aria's biotics," Tali murmured. "She wasn't trying to get to me. She was trying to—"

"Tali," Shepard snapped. "Can you still disarm it?"

The nick in the glass widened even as Shepard was watching it. The cracked lines around it grew like a slowly spun spider's web.

"What's happening?" Shepard said.

Tali stared at her Omni-Tool. "The coolant's oxidizing."

"Meaning what?"

A light glowed in the opening fissure.

Tali's mask turned to Shepard. "It's going to explode."

Shepard scrambled to her feet. "Time frame?"

"I don't know. But …"

"Soon?"

"I think so. I'm so sorry, Shepard."

"You can't disarm it?"

"Even if I disarmed it. The reaction's already started."

"The reaction had started, and you couldn't tell?" Shepard hissed.

"I was focused on trying the codes. It didn't start immediately after Aria hit it. I checked then. I didn't—"

"It doesn't matter. I'm sorry." Shepard growled. "It's not your fault."

Grunt and Adams rushed down the Normandy's cargo bay ramp. Joker flopped in Grunt's arms. He was starting to move his fingers and roll his head. Liara, though, still looked completely limp as Adams carried her out. Shepard waved Garrus over. Gathering everyone, she pointed to the crack. Tali's voice lowered to nearly a whisper as she explained.

"Can we take this out in the Normandy's shuttle?" Shepard asked.

"Lifting off on the shuttle could break that glass further, detonate it," Adams said.

"If it was in a ship then?" Shepard said. "Hitting FTL would ignite it, but what about just getting through the atmosphere to a safe FTL jumping point. Would that break the glass?"

"Shouldn't," Adams said. "Spaceship's a lot smoother a ride than a shuttle lifting off."

"Load it up," Shepard said.

"The Normandy's power looked unstable when I was in there," Adams said.

"Kaidan did something in engineering. See if you can fix it. Go now."

Adams lay Liara gently onto the floor and raced back to the Normandy.

Tali hunched closer to the warhead. "It's still cracking. Faster I think.

"We need to be careful about this," Garrus said. "After we get it aboard, Shepard and I—"

"No, Garrus," Shepard said. "You're not coming. Or you, Tali. You need to evacuate everyone. At least, the building but out of the city, if possible."

"Shepard," Garrus said stepping closer to her.

"No, no one else needs to go. Only me and …"

"Me," Joker said.

Everyone's heads turned to Joker, and he sat up higher in Grunt's arms.

"Joker," Shepard came over to him. "You know what this means?"

"I know what's happening," he said. "Need a smooth ride, a fast one to reach space? I'm the Alliance's best damned pilot for a reason."

Shepard gave him a weak smile and nodded.

"It's started the combustion phase," Tali hissed and jumped to her feet.

"Start the evacuation." Shepard pointed at her. "Go!"

"Shepard," Garrus said again.

"Let's get it loaded. We need to put the core back in the warhead's outer shell to move it."

Shepard took Joker from Grunt's arms. Garrus's mandibles flared with a short growl, but he turned away from her. He and Grunt rushed to the warhead. Tali sprinted to the hall.

"Always thought it might end like this – you, me, and the Normandy," Joker said with a heavy look in his eyes, despite the light words.

Shepard smiled wanly. "I suppose—"

"Shepard!" Adams puffed rushing down the ramp. Shepard turned to him. "It's a damned mess. Kaidan must've meant it to be. No fixing it anytime soon. She won't fly."

"Another ship?" Shepard said adjusting Joker's weight in her arms.

"The docked ships are on the other side of the building. Normandy's the only flight-worthy one in the dry docks."

"Damnit." Shepard set Joker on the floor.

"What? No," Joker said. "There's got to be something."

"We're not dragging the warhead all the way across HQ under gunfire," Shepard snapped.

Grunt and Garrus settled the core in the warhead's metal shell. The core's glass casing cracked with a sharp pop. They stumbled back. Steam hissed through a fissure in the core. A rosey glow bloomed under the glass. Shepard walked up to it. Her breath tightened under her ribs, and she rested a hand on top of the warhead feeling it against her palm. She drew in a sharp breath and spun around.

"I have an idea."

 

* * *

 

"Put it in the center," Shepard said. "Grunt, move that statue off further."

Grunt and Adams put their shoulders against Oriana's statue, tipped on its side, and edged it aside. Garrus positioned the warhead in the center of the Summit's stage floor. His eyes sharpened on Shepard as she limped to him. A static tickle rose in the air as she neared the stage's center, and her biotics buzzed deep in her bones.

The auditorium echoed with their voices. Wires sparked in the ceiling from the torn lights. Glass, broken cameras, and bodies lay between the rows of empty chairs.

Shepard pressed her palm to the warhead. Energy roared through her, and a blue veil shimmered out from her palm. It enveloped the warhead. The power buzzed in her teeth. Every nerve ending hummed as the amplified energy ragged in her chest. Her palm, waist high on warhead, burned against the metal.

"Get everyone out," Shepard looked at them. "At the very least, this building's coming down, but probably a good part of the city too."

Grunt frowned and pointed at her. "But …"

"I'll absorb as much as I can, but it won't be enough. Evacuate everyone. Go now."

Adams and Grunt rushed backstage. Garrus trudged behind them but stopped at the stage entrance. His eyes lingered on her. Shepard inclined her head.

"Bye, Garrus."

"Been an honor, Shepard."

The curtain swirled behind him, and he disappeared around the corner. Shepard faced the auditorium and pressed her palm tighter to the warhead in front of her. Something cracked deep inside, and Shepard's heart raced. She spread her fingers against the burning heat. Inside the metal shell, glass snapped and shatter. A rushing roar grew louder with each pop. It filled her ears rising louder and louder. Her heart hammered. Metal scorched into her palm.

A hand slid over hers. Glowing fingertips slipped between her knuckles and pressed onto the warhead. Her barrier deepened to a cobalt, and threads of dark energy wove through her barrier, stretching and tightening. Shepard whipped her head around as Kaidan stumbled against her drawing in ragged breaths. He met her eyes and gave a weak smile. Their biotics pulsed at the same beat under her palm. She held out her other hand, and he clasped it. Their hands squeezed together, and Shepard smiled broadly into his face. The world exploded in a concussion of fire, color, and agony. It combusted out her chest, tore her apart in a roar of blindness and heat. Every breath, every nerve, every sense burned away. Then there was only infinity.


	119. Chapter 119

**Chapter 50**

"And hitting the relay in five-four-three-two. Jumping."

Crowds on Palaven, Thessia, and Surkesh glowed on the screens overhead. The Sol relay flashed on the projection in the middle of the stage. The ship disappeared. Rows of chairs creaked as the audience sat forward. Silence hung over the auditorium. The audio turned to static. A voice came on.

"Council, this is Tibrus. We made it to Arcturus."

The crowd surged to their feet. Voice welled up. Cheers and applause roared from screens as planet leaders and masses of alien spectators got to their feet. The Summit Hall swarmed with handshaking and laughter. Some asari in the front row stood locked in place, silent, eyes glittering and fixed on the screen. A human diplomat next to them wiped his face with the back of his hand before returning to applause.

The Summit stage's wooden floor boars creaked under Shepard's feet. She squinted through the stage lights surveying all the faces. So much smiling and laughter, disbelief and relief, sobbing and release. Councilors Ilk and Sparatus clapped at Shepard's elbow. Tevos leaned across Sparatus.

"This is a defining moment, Shepard. We wouldn't be here without you."

Shepard smile softly. Her eyes lowered to the irregularly joined wooden planks across the stage, the stain still tacky with a chemical smell. In her mind, she saw the swing of a sledgehammer as it met the scorched granite in the center of the stage. Her eyes drifted to the front row of applauding Alliance uniforms.

"I couldn't have done it without Spectre Alenko," she said.

Shepard caught Kaidan's eyes. The corner of his mouth turned up, and he nodded at her. He stood in a line of admiral clapping and smiling. Admiral Hackett grinned up at her from below the stage.

It had been a hell of a week. It was a wonder Hackett and the other admirals were still smiling at her after her stand on the Krogan. After proposing efforts to reach out the Rachnie, she'd been sure they'd be rolling Mason onstage any moment – hospital bed, dripping IV's, and all – and tossed his surly alternate out on her face. But they probably knew she'd be saying the same thing whether from the front row or onstage sitting with the Councilors.

The Councilors lowered themselves back to their chairs. Shepard watched the split screens of celebration across the galaxy. Everyone was going home. The Summit was wrapped up now, real decisions and plans finally going into action. It was the end of an era. Shepard's eyes drifted back to Kaidan, but he wasn't look. His eyes were fixed on the relay as another ship jumped through.

 

* * *

 

A nurse watched Shepard with wide eyes as they passed in the hall. Afternoon sun streamed through the windows of the patient's room as Shepard passed the open doorways. Shepard blew a strand of hair off her sweaty forehead. Alliance uniforms weren't meant for summertime on Earth. They were meant for space. Shepard knocked on the wall next to an open doorway and went in.

"Hola, Captain."

"Staff Commander Vega."

James sat up higher in the hospital bed and chuckled. "Both got our upgrades. Just took living through another beat down, right?"

"Posthumous promotions aren't the Alliance way. Need to be present to win."

"Lots of winners on this spin," James said. "Saw General Alenko. Flight Admiral Hackett, too. A flight admiral visiting me in the hospital about a promotion - Lola, I have arrived."

Shepard smirked and stood next to his bed. Her eyes drifted to the metal table at James's elbow.

"What's this?" Shepard pinched a coin-sized metal disk off the table.

"Uh." James rubbed the back of his neck.

"An eye, right?" Shepard held it up in the sunlight to see the engraving. "Is it a charm?"

"A milagro. My abuela had one just like it. Half open eye. Ojo. Kept it in her sowing basket, would wave it at me when I was up to something."

"Abuela? That's grandmother, right? Sounds meaningful." Shepard set it back down on the table. "Where'd you get it?"

James paused. Shepard folded her arms and waited.

"Lola … fine. Becca, okay?"

"Becca, huh?"

"Yep. Knew that's what you'd say."

"You knew I'd say 'Becca, huh'?"

"Your face, Lola. That's what's saying it."

"My face?" Shepard felt at her lips. "I smile like this all the time."

James sighed, picked the milagro up, and folding it in his palm. "Should have hid it when I saw you come in."

"Hide it?" Shepard raised her eyebrows. "How telling. And, ' _Becca_ ,' now, is it?"

"She told me to call her that."

"So, uh," Shepard sat on the bed's edge, "you two … a thing?"

"A thing? Baja un cambio, Lola."

"All right. You're in the hospital, I'll be nice."

"I've done a lot of off- duty work on your Spectre missions, Lola. Got biotically ragdolled across that stage for you."

Shepard grinned. "The playing dead thing worked out for you though. Got you out of clean-up duty."

"Almost-dead really helps with playing dead."

"True. Kind of typecasting at that point."

"What about you?" James flipped the milagro in his hand. "You all up and running?"

"That makes me sound like a machine."

"Nah. Didn't mean it that way, Lola."

"Well," Shepard settled herself better on the bed, "I'm not radioactive anymore. Got all scrubbed. Nosebleeds and headaches are gone. Haven't had another seizure. So, perfect health."

"That normal for biotics?" James frowned. "Those seizures and all?"

"Seizures? No. A lot of factors with that – radiation, the floor's power amplification. Just lucky I'm not sitting it out in another coma, I guess."

"Kaidan, too, huh?"

"Kaidan too."

"He was holed up here, in the hospital, a lot longer than you."

"Yeah." Shepard studied the floor. "That was … well, he's fine now. Just needed to get broken out of the seizures. You saw him. He's good."

"Glad you both pulled through. Didn't know for a bit. The way they found you … Garrus said with all that blood and seizing, he thought you both were dead. And that nuke? Gezz, Shepard. You do the craziest crap and live."

"Holding off a nuclear holocaust? Just another day at the office."

"For you, yeah. I get rolled across the stage, and my number's up."

"A lot of numbers were up."

"Nah. Only the Council and every important person in the galaxy. No biggie, Lola."

"Right." Shepard stood up. "They going to let you out soon?"

"If not, they're gonna regret giving me a room with a window."

"I'm thinking that's only going to extend the stay. You know you're on the fourth floor, right? But, anway, I'm going to shove off." She walked to the door, paused, and turned back with a smirk. "I'll just put it out there – next Christmas, you draw Kaidan's name in the family gift exchange, I can give you ideas."

"Hilarious."

"Right? Kind of wasted on you though. Remind me next time Joker's here. I'll repeat it. But laugh like it's fresh."

"Did you hear me laughing when it actually was fresh?"

"Probably why you're still stuck in the hospital, James. Not taking the best medicine."

James pawed his hand at her with an eye roll. Shepard grinned and ducked into the hallway.

 

* * *

 

Shepard turned the hospital corner and collided into a woman.

"Sorry … oh." Shepard froze. "Liara."

Liara took a step back. "Sorry, Shepard. I wasn't paying attention, obviously."

"Corners are notorious danger zones." Shepard smiled. "What're you doing?"

"Visiting Miranda."

"Just finished seeing James. I was going to drop by Miranda next."

"She's awake," Liara said and edged around Shepard. "I'll see you—"

"Liara, wait," Shepard said. Liara turned. "I saw you at Jack's service. I've wanted to talk to you. Then, just wasn't the time."

"Talk to me about what, Shepard?" Liara edged out of the center of the hallway and stood against the wall.

Shepard shuffled sideways with her. She forced a smile and twisted her fingers.

"I'm sure you've heard some things," Shepard said.

"In my line of work, I hear a lot of things."

"About Kaidan and me."

"Oh."

"Listen, Liara." Shepard stepped closer. "It's not true. Nothing happened between Kaidan and me."

"That's not the kind of information I sell, Shepard. You don't need to set the story straight."

"What?" Shepard frowned. "What does that mean? Just listen-"

"Shepard." Liara sighed. "Kaidan already told me this."

"He did?"

"When I visited him in the hospital and a little before."

"Oh." Shepard shifted on her feet. "And you believe him?"

Liara's brow furrowed. "Is there a reason I shouldn't?"

"No," Shepard rushed to say. "I just … I didn't realize he'd already talked to you. Good. I just wanted any misunderstandings put to rest."

"No misunderstandings." Liara smiled. "I'll see you later. We should spend some time together soon."

"Absolutely."

Liara turned, and Shepard's eyes followed her down the hall. She leaned her face against the wall and closed her eyes. It felt like swallowing a boulder, but at the same time, feeling so hollow.

 

* * *

 

"Miranda." Shepard drew up a chair. "I'm making my hospital round."

Lines drew across the monitor over Miranda's hospital bed. Miranda's sunken eyes rolled over to Shepard's face. She smiled faintly.

"I don't know how much more visiting I can take, Shepard."

"Dagger to the heart. I just walked in."

"Sorry, Shepard. You do the talking."

"Make me do the heavy lifting, huh? Fine," Shepard said. "Liara's that taxing?"

"Not Liara," Miranda said. "Kaidan. Very chatty."

"Chatty? Kaidan?"

"Wouldn't stop."

Shepard leaned back in her chair with a thunk. "Really?"

Miranda nodded weakly. "I don't make this stuff up, Shepard."

"Triforce come out with a new triple action, high caliber rifle or something?"

Miranda chuckled. "No."

"Well, I'm curious. Let's have it. What's he so chatty about?"

"It was eclectic." Miranda smiled. "Asked me about my research. Talked about Oriana. Saw the article I was reading on applying krogan nervous system repair to mammalian models. Asked me about that. Talk, talk, talk."

"Korgan nervous system repair in mammalian models?"

"Got the impression he thought I was going to die. Back there."

"Garrus did too. He was ready to read you your last rites."

"Turien last rites?" Miranda grinned wistfully. "Should have let him."

"Anyway," Shepard sat forward on her chair, "I'm glad you're okay. Just dropping by to say that. Done."

Shepard stood.

"Shepard." Miranda looked up at her. "You heard Kaidan's going to the Terminus System?"

"That's … I had heard that."

"Just when I was starting to not dislike him."

"He should stay for that alone." Shepard leaned against the bed's metal railing.

"He should stay for you." Miranda tapped Shepard with the back of her fingers. "You're not going to see him for years. You know that?"

Shepard looked off and shrugged. "His choice, not mine. I don't have any say. That's up to the admirals and, to some degree, him."

"Shepard …" Miranda tapped her hand again, but Shepard kept her eyes on the wall. "Shepard, you've broken yourself three times. I've repaired you. Break your own heart now, and it's going to be a lot harder to repair."

Shepard grabbed Miranda's hand to keep it from tapping her.  She folded it back to Miranda's chest. "You've spent too much time with Kaidan. You're getting sentimental on me. Whatever he said—"

"He didn't say anything," Miranda said. "That's just from me, Shepard. Take it for what it's worth."

"Well, thanks for the concern, Miranda, but my heart's not broken. I'm just fine."

"Maybe it's broken, you don't even know it."

Shepard drummed her fingers on her hips. "This is a lot of talking for someone who gave me a disclaimer when I walked in."

"You're my investment. Just trying to keep you in one piece."

Shepard moved to the door. "I'll stop by later. Get some rest."

Miranda gave her a smile and closed her eyes. Shepard wandered down the hall with a sickness rolling in her chest. Her mind spun and concentrated on the floor as she walked. The floor tiles looked asymmetrical. The blue color didn't quite match between all the tiles. They were probably different batches, but bought all together. It had to have been frustrating opening those boxes, realizing the dyes were slightly off. But they put them out anyway. Probably didn't think anyone would notice.

 

* * *

 

"Captain. Congratulations." Hackett pumped her hand.

"Flight admiral," Shepard said stopping by the Alliance logo on the wall. "It's well deserved."

"Thank you." Hackett glanced down the hall in front of Shepard. "Seeing Admiral Wilson?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. With the relay functional, there are some important assignments in mind for you and the Normandy."

"Yes?" Shepard asked.

"A lot going on with Palaven. And, the Rachni? Could be trouble. But Admiral Wilson will fill you in on details. I imagine a trip to Tuchanka may not be far off either."

Shepard nodded. "And leaving soon, you think?"

"Not right away but fairly soon, yes."

At least there was that then. Shepard was ready to get off this planet. The sooner, the better.

"You did a good job on this Summit disaster," Hackett said, "you and Alenko. Read the report."

"Thanks. It turned out," Shepard said.

"You know, between that weapon in the floor and holding back a nuclear explosion, you saved a lot of people. Important people. Aria T'Loak, the Scorpion. Still hard to wrap my head around."

Shepard shrugged. "I dont know, sir.  To her, the Council and Alliance betrayed her. Those Blue Sons mercs Terra Firma was targeting with the Normandy betrayed her too. Revenge and a way to be powerful again. Not too hard to wrap your mind around if you knew her."

"Why would Terra Firma would work with her though? Why those Alliance moles trusted her, I'll never understand." 

"They didn't trust her." Shepard frowned. "The messages in her accounts, this deal between them, they didn't trust her. She pulled them together with her mercs, her vision, her tenacity, but they planted a nuke on the Normandy to destroyed her. They probably sensed her contempt for them, knew she wasn't going to guard Arcturus with her fleet of ships forever. She'd cause problems, eventually. Only, she was smarter. Turned their betrayal to her advantage. Terra Firma, the Council, Alliance, everyone was going to pay."

"Not you though. Not initially anyway. I saw Anchor's directive to turn you over to her."

"True.  And one of her mercs warned me to avoid the Summit. But Aria always repayed like with like. I think it's why she injected me onstage. I was doing her a favor with the Alliance, even then. Maybe she would have still brought me on the Normandy, saved me. But then, I stood in her way." 

"If you hadn't ..." Hackett shook his head.  "Regardless of any of it, you and Alenko did well."

"Thanks." Shepard chewed her lip. 

"Well, I won't detain you, Captain." Hackett smiled and passed around her.

"Admiral?"

Hackett stopped. Shepard took a step back to be face to face.

"You and Admiral Wilson, when you came to get me for the Summit, I hope you know, Maj—General Alenko and I … it wasn't what you may have thought."

Hackett shifted on his feet and cleared his throat. "On that, as for me, I have nothing further to say. As far as Admiral Wilson, I haven't heard it brought up again. Let him know the, uh, truth or not. It may pass over. General Alenko's demeanor though … I think Admiral Wilson took it as proof of guilt."

"Kaidan realizes he's standing next to an illegally parked shuttle, he'd look guilty. He knew what you were thinking. That's all."

"I'd call him General Alenko in front of Admiral Wilson, but I see your point. Admiral Wilson doesn't know the General well and may not understand. I have a feeling it will blow over though."

"Thanks, Admiral."

"Captain." Hackett nodded and continued down the hall.

Shepard continued to Wilson's office. The sooner she got her next assignment and got the hell out of here, the better.


	120. Chapter 120

**Chapter 51**

"Kate."

Kate stood up from leaning on the deck's railing. The breeze rustled her hair. "Kaidan?"

"Hey." He closed the glass slider.

"When did you get here?"

"Just now." He walked over to her.

She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a quick hug. "You look a hell of a lot better than at the hospital."

"I got some work done." He leaned forward on the railing next to her.

Kate snatched an open beer bottle off the railing as if afraid he'd knock it off with his hand. "You scared the crap out of Mom, you know."

Kaidan shrugged and gazed around them. "I'm surprised you're still here."

"Rob's gone back. School's out though. Thought I'd stick around for a bit. Be with Mom."

The breeze carried pine and hints of the ocean. Kaidan's eyes followed the the stepping stone overgrown with clover leading down the hillside to the forest. "Where is …"

"Off with the girls." Kate motioned to the trees with her bottle. "At the pond catching who the hell knows. Now I get to spend all day sneaking some damned thing back to the pond before it dies."

"Maybe it'll be a fish. Sneak it to the kitchen. A lot closer."

"A fish? Son of bitch would probably taste like ass coming from that pond. Entire thing's brimming with tadpoles and mosquito larvae."

"Tadpoles?' Kaidan put more weight on the railing. "Then, you do, too, the hell know what you're getting back from the pond."

"Still holding out for a butterfly or something. A lot easier to release." Kate took a sip of beer.

Kaidan put his hand out. She groaned but gave him the bottle. He took a drink.

"So," Kate waited, and he handed it back, "Kaidan the General now, huh?"

"Yep, that's what my subordinates call me - Kaidan the General."

"But, I can still call you Ass Munch?"

"Especially around your kids, yeah."

"Ass Munch the General." She took a long drink.

"You're trying to finish that off before I get any more, aren't you?"

"What?" Kate turned and tipped the bottle back again. "This?" She took another gulp. "No."

Kaidan grabbed it before she could tip it back again and took his own swig.

Kate shook her head. "There's not enough beer in the house for the two of us."

"There wasn't enough beer in the house when there was only you." Kaidan tossed the empty bottle behind them.

Kate frowned back at the bottle as it rolled around the deck. "Mom doesn't like that."

"Mom isn't here." Kaidan smiled. "Unless you're becoming her. I can see that."

"That bottle's going to roll off the deck and break." Kate turned back to the railing. "I can still hear it. Rolling … rolling …"

"Fine." Kaidan walked over and snatched it up. He set it upright against the house.

"Better," Kate said. "Though I saw a fine sweat breaking out."

"Well, felt like I had Mom watching me."

"Ass Munch the General, afraid what his mother will do if he breaks a bottle on the downstairs patio."

"Hey. I know to pick my battles."

He hunched over the railing again and stared at the mountains. The ocean shimmered faintly in the distance, and he breathed in the summer air. A warm sun shined on his face. Probably the hottest day since last summer.

"Damn, Kaidan, the paint." Kate pointed at Kaidan's fingers picking at the wooden rail. "I'd shut that down, unless that's the battler you're going with …"

Kaidan lifted his fingers. "I'm saving my battle."

"Got one in mind?"

"Maybe." He shrugged. "I don't know. Probably not a battle."

"Hmm. Do tell."

Kate leaned against him with increasing weight, as if to trip him sideways. He pushed back against her.

"Damn," Kate said stumbling against the railing. "Hope the battle isn't physical. You're gonna knock me off of here."

"I didn't let the beer bottle fall off. You think I'm going to let you?"

"How the hell should I know? Maybe knocking me off is the battle you've picked. I called you Ass Munch the General one too many times. You want it to look like an accident."

"You had been drinking."

Kate laughed, slid an arm under his, and rested her head against his shoulder. "You would be saving me from the tadpoles, the dozen trips back and forth tossing the little bastards back. Thinning the herd gradually enough no one cries."

"Mom will have worked hard for those tadpoles, but I doubt she'll cry."

Kate squeezed his arm. "Why aren't you around more? I have no one to bother like you."

"Knew I had a higher purpose."

"Pawh, saving the whole damn galaxy? So second priority, Kaidan. Any bastard with a gun can do that. I only have one brother to pick on."

"Or be picked on by."

"Hell, yes. If you didn't pick back, I might feel, I don't know, guilty or something."

"Hmm." Kaidan smiled. "Maybe that's the best way to bother you then. I'll be ultra nice."

"Could be reverse psychology. I may actually want you to be ultra nice."

"Seems unlikely."

"Damn you. You know me too well."

Kaidan tilted his head and rested it against hers.

Kate shifted against him. "What's your battle?"

"What?" Kaidan said.

"The battle you're saving for Mom."

"Oh." He lifted his head. "You know the relays are functional again. Well, some of them."

"Yeah." Kate's head moved against his shoulder. Her eyes rolled up at his face. "You going off world?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Couple of days."

"A couple of days?" Kate straightened. "For how long?"

"Uh …" Kaidan stared out at the horizon. Kate's eyes weighed on him. "It will be a longer term assignment."

"Longer term … huh." Kate clicked her tongue. "You aren't looking at me."

"What?" He turned his face.

"Ah." Kate pulled her arm out from his and shoved him.

"Hey."

"Longer term? My ass, Kaidan. It's gonna be some semi-permanent gig, isn't it? That's what you're afraid to tell Mom."

"I'm not afraid."

"Yes, you are." Kate stuck a finger in his face.

Kaidan grabbed it.

"You totally are, Kaidan!"

"I'm totally not, Kate."

Kate sighed, turned, and gripped the railing with both hands. "Well … that's too bad, Kaidan."

"Your hands'll be full raising all those tadpoles anyway."

"No, seriously, Kaidan." Kate looked over at him. "I mean, the girls were just starting to really know you. Mom, now without Dad …"

"Come on, Kate. Don't try to make me feel guilty about this."

"I'm not. It's just … that's too bad, you know?"

Kaidan rested his back against the railing and folded his arms. "Yeah, I know."

"Mom's going to be upset."

"I know she will be." He gave her a half smile.

Kate sighed again, put an arm around him, and leaned back next to him on the railing.

Kaidan glanced back at the rail. "This rail gives out, we both die, that's really going to make Mom sad."

"Look at me, then look at you. Who're they gonna blame for breaking the railing? I wonder."

"Your taste for roughhousing's well known. The tissue boxes will be used up during my part of the service - everyone remembering that summer you broke the dock forcing me in the water."

"Hell. You're never going to let that go. Therapy, Kaidan. Therapy."

"Only section of my autobiography I've taken the time to write. Future generations need to know."

"Right - save the galaxy, save the post-war world, become a Spectre, become an Alliance general - but only section of the autobiography: my sister pushed me off the dock when I was ten. Lame. And," she ground a fingertip into his bicep, "there'll be a damned hell lot of tissues used up during my part of the funeral. People see the widowed husband, three little girls with quivering lips, tears like you wouldn't believe. Trust me."

Kaidan nodded, arms folded, and tapping his fingertips on his elbows. He stared at the beer bottle against the wall.

"Hey." She squeezed him in closer, her arm still around his shoulders.

He looked over. "What?"

"You okay?"

"What? No, yeah, of course."

Kate rested her head against his shoulder. "I'm not Mom. Not really. You don't need to tell me all the right answers."

"What right answers?"

"'No, yeah, of course I'm okay.'"

"You are like Mom, you won't believe me."

"You're just not very convincing. You seem better than last time you were here though." Kate lifted her head and peered at him. "You're better, right?"

"Kate, gezzz. I'm fine. I was just working through some things."

"Yeah, I know." Kate relaxed her head back on his shoulder. "Going through a break up. I get it."

"What?" Kaidan spun to face her. Kate snagged the rail to regain her balance. "Did Mom tell you that?"

Kate pinched her shoulders up. "That's all she said. I don't know anything else."

Kaidan covered the bottom of his face with both hands and let out a heavy breath.

"Kaidan, be real. Don't tell Mom anything you don't want everyone to know. This is not news. I didn't tell Mom I was pregnant with Em until I was in the second trimester."

"Damn." He put his hands down. "Who else knows? Hell."

"Kaidan." Kate gave his arm a pop with her fist. "Don't be so embarrassed. Mom didn't tell anyone else. I think. Might have told Henry."

"What?" Kaidan's voice shot up.

Kate smirked with a knitting brow. "Kaidan, damn." She chuckled. "I'm just joking. I'm sure she only told me. And, that's literally all she said about it."

Kaidan stood silent and stared at the wooden deck boards.

Kate waved a hand in front of his face. "It's okay. It's just me, Ass Munch Junior, right? I know a lot worse things about you than some break up."

"I feel dumb."

"So, you're dumb. I've been dumb. Everyone's been dumb. Way it works, right? That's okay. Don't give up or anything." She came around him and squeezed him in with her arm. "I'll be honest. Mom told me you were upset over a breakup, I was glad. No, really. It made me like … I don't know. Glad."

"Glad?"

"Yeah. Here I thought you only cared about guns and shooting things. You were a soldier and a soldier, and in your off time, a soldier. So, I was happy to hear it. Like, there's more to life than being an Alliance soldier or Spectre or whatever. There are people and families and other stuff."

Kaidan frowned. "I know that, Kate."

"Maybe kinda like you know three plus two is five, because three plus two is five. But you don't actually know how to add two and three and that that equals five."

"What?" Kaidan sputtered, brow scrunched. "What the—Fine. I'll pretend that was really profound. I've been illuminated, and we can stop."

"Ooh. Turning nasty on me." Kate grinned. "Touching a tender point?"

She reached across with her other hand and poked his shoulder. He twisted away and pushed her finger away.

"Stop poking me all the time. You even taught it to your offspring last time I was here."

"Offspring?" Kate choked with a laugh. She took a step forward and smacked his stomach with the back of her hand. "They're called kids, you dumbass. You'd know, if you ever had any."

"Check a dictionary, Kate. 'Offspring' means 'kids.' Who's the real dumbass?"

"Still you. You're just pretending not to understand my bitching math example."

She stepped toward him. He backed up and put up a finger.

"Stop poking me."

"If the Alliance could see their general now. Mowing down enemies with an assault rifle on the battlefield. Begging his little sister to stop poking him at home. 'But, Admirals, she's even teaching her offspring to do this to me! She must be stopped.'"

"I could put you in stasis or something."

"How about taking yourself out of stasis or something?"

"I'm not in stasis, and I know how to add, Kate."

"Hey." Kate put her palms up and came up to him. "Seriously, Kaidan. I love you, you know. I just want you to be happy and stuff."

"I am happy."

"Yeah?" She wrapped her arms around him and laid her face against his chest. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." He hugged her tight.

"There's more to life than shooting things or being a biotic. Just want to make that clear."

"Yeah, I teased out the punchline a while back."

Kate pulled back. "And Mom's with me on this."

"Stop talking about me. You live on Earth. Talk about the weather like normal people."

Kate rolled her eyes. Kaidan gazed out past the deck.

"Here come your tadpoles."

Kate pushed away from him and scurried to the railing. She grimaced. "Oh, no. It's taking two of them to hold that bucket."

"Not very coordinated about it." Kaidan came up beside her. "Maybe they'll spill it."

"Quick. Use your biotics. Help a sister out."

"After you poked me so many times? No way. If I use my biotics, it'll be to steady the bucket. I hope they have a hundred tadpoles. Maybe some toads."

Kate clicked her tongue then glanced sideways at him. "You staying the night?"

"Yes …"

"Hmm." Kate smiled. "Sleeping in your bed upstairs, right? Then, yes. Yes, I hope there are toads."

 

* * *

 

Kaidan paused in the marble hallway outside the door. His eyes linger on the elevator. In the corner of his eyes, the evening sun glinted off the door's platinum finish He sighed, turned back to the door, and buzzed.

"Kaidan." The door slid open.

"Hey, Liara."

Liara stepped back to let Kaidan pass. Stacks of plastic storage boxes piled the entryway. To his left, the room once full of screens, gaped emptily with blank walls.

"You're leaving," Kaidan said.

"Yes." Liara turned to face him as the apartment door slid shut. "To Thessia."

"When?"

"I haven't secured transit. Soon though." Liara passed him into the main room. "What about you?"

"Tomorrow."

"So soon."

Liara picked a box off one of the chairs and set it on the hardwood floor. The rug was already gone. All of the pictures, vases, plants, lamps, couch, desk – it was all gone. The only furniture left, two wingback chairs, cast long shadows across the room.

"I saw Shepard at the hospital," Liara said.

Kaidan nodded absently facing a glass wall and he stared at the reddening sunset. Liara drew his attention and motioned to the now-empty chair.

"Shepard was worried I was listening to Alliance gossip."

Kaidan strolled to the chair. "You probably listen to all the gossip."

"True enough." She drew the second chair closer and sat down next to him. "You're ready for tomorrow?"

"I'm packed. Saw my family. Admiral Hackett gave me a pat and a handshake. So, I guess I am."

Liara curled her legs up on the chair behind her and studied him. "Have you seen Shepard?"

Kaidan rested his head back against the chair. "No, not yet. I will. Before I leave."

"Does she know you're leaving tomorrow?"

"I don't know." He sighed. "Let's not talk about Shepard for once."

"Then, what do you want to talk about?" Liara smoothed the dress fabric on her lap.

Kaidan hunched forward. "What are your plans in Thessia?"

"Reestablishing contacts is my priority. But, it's my home. I want to see what I can do to help."

"Javik?"

"He won't miss me. As far as I know, he's staying here on Earth."

"Lucky us."

"Tell him that, and he'd believe you were serious."

"Oh, I know. Remember the holiday on our way back to Earth, everyone partying in the lounge? Broke out the canned peaches."

"Didn't it coincide with your human holiday? Christmas, right?"

"Yeah, and some quarian holiday," Kaidan said. "Javik sat next to me. The whole night he kept saying how lucky I was to be onboard with him. Something I could tell my children's children's children. Didn't seem to grasp how long humans live, either because of Vega's moonshine or just didn't care. Think it was more the latter."

"In the prothean era, it may not have been a virtue to put others before oneself, at least outside of one's own species. The protheans were imperialists."

"I suppose." Kaidan narrowed his eyes in thought. "Strange idea to think ethics aren't universal, just defined by cycle or culture. Could things like theft and murder just be vices, not wrong?"

"Maybe what's considered theft or murder is malleable. To imperialists, killing an alien, no matter the reason, may be like a human stepping on a …" She searched for the word. "What's that small … an ant. No one considers that wrong, correct? Stepping on an ant."

"So, we're just ants to Javik? Certainly fits."

"If you woke up surrounded by giant ants and went to their party, you may think they were rather lucky to have you, a human, as company. They are, after all, ants."

"True. Probably wouldn't bother to learn one ant's name over the other."

"There you go," Liara said.

Kaidan leaned back and interlaced his fingers behind his head. "That is interesting. Different way of looking at it. I'd hope, if I woke up with ants, I'd treat them cordially, show some dignity. But, maybe I would treat them as inferiors. They do eat each other, you know."

"Maybe they'd see us not eating each other as squandering resources. See our sentimentality as a weakness and evidence of being irrational."

Kaidan grinned. "Superiorly rational ants, and Liara T'Soni championing cannibalism. Giving me a lot to think about for my long trip to Orion."

"Maybe you can see Javik's side more, then."

"Well, yeah." Kaidan looked over at her. "He's the human among ants. I'm lucky to have been on the same starship and planet as him. If only I had some children's children's children to tell about it. Guess I'll have to leave a letter. Sad thing is, you could probably deliver it for me."

"To your children's children's children?"

"I have three nieces. I might need to go that route instead."

"How was your family?"

Kaidan brought his hands down from his head and interlocked them over his stomach. "My sister threatened to put a toad in my bed. Other than that, it was … what it was."

"A toad? That's animal, correct? Is there some other meaning for toad?"

"No, I mean a toad. Literally. Look one up. Trust me, you don't want one sharing your sheets."

"I've met several humans who sleep with animals in their bed."

"None of them sleep with toads." Kaidan paused. "Except for Admiral Wilson's wife. Other than that though, no one."

"Implying Admiral Wilson is a toad. I'll look this up." Liara turned on her Omni-Tool. "From context, I understand it must be an insult."

"To the toad." Kaidan sighed.

Liara's Omni-Tool brightened the room. She scrolled down her screen and paused on something. Her lips retracted, and she looked over at Kaidan. He stood and came around behind her to see over her shoulder.

"That one's a frog. Mislabeled. Toads are worse." He reached down and scrolled her screen. "There. That's a toad."

"It looks like a frog."

"No. They're different."

"How?"

"Hell, don't ask me."

"Then, they're the same?"

"Look up alligator and crocodile. They're different too. You can't tell."

"Really?" Liara punched it in. "There isn't a way to sort them? Is it geographic then?"

"No." Kaidan grinned. "They're different. You can tell. Well, someone can tell. Not me. From this conversation, not you either."

Kaidan strolled back to his chair and ploped down. Liara squinted at the pictures on her holoscreen and chewed her bottom lip. She smiled over at him.

"I'm going to miss you, Liara."

Liara snapped off her Omni-Tool. She twisted in her seat and gazed back at him. "I will miss you too, Kaidan."

"There's a lot you can do for Thessia though. I'm glad you get to go home."

"Yes." Liara looked down at her hands. "It will be years before there's any semblance of normalcy."

"It's good, you'll be there to help then."

"Is it?" Liara looked up at him.

They held each other's eyes for a moment. Kaidan looked away. He hunched forward, elbows on his knees, and folded his hands in front of him. He stared at the floor. Silence stretched between them. The only sound, the blood pulsing in his ears. He looked up at her.

"I think so," he said.

Liara's eyes fell. She gave a slow nod. Her fingers interlaced and re-laced in her lap, and she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Kaidan's probably didn't either though.

"Liara," he said, "I want you to know, I'm sorry about … everything. I care about you, and I never meant to …" He sighed. "I'm just sorry."

She glanced over at him. "You don't need to be sorry."

"I feel like I do." He buried his face in his hands for a moment, then drew in a long breath and looked up. "I don't know, Liara. I'm so confused." He sat upright. "But, not about you going to Thessia. That's a good thing. I'm happy for you. You can help there."

"Even for years?"

"That's …" Kaidan frowned at the floor for a long moment. Liara shifted in her seat, and he met her eyes. "I think … that's the right decision."

Liara looked away with a quick nod. Kaidan stood.

"This is good bye then?" Her eyes drifted up to his face.

"Yes."

She rose stiffly, and he stepped up to her.

"Thanks for everything. You've been there for me, Liara. That means a lot."

She nodded, eyes dropping, and gave him a fast hug. "Bye, Kaidan."

"Take care, Liara."

He hailed a skycar outside her building. It lifted back to Alliance Headquarters. Kaidan didn't look back. He'd made the right decision. He felt it in his gut, but the rest of his body felt cold. Cold and alone.

 

* * *

 

His bag sat packed on the end of his bed. Kaidan glanced around the room with a heavy feeling. The only thing that wasn't packed was his uniform for tomorrow. It lay across his bed. Kaidan touched the stiff, black fabric and ran his fingers down a line of silver buttons. So much had happened, amazing things – Spectre, general, living through so many close calls and to be still standing.

He backed away from the bed with his eyes fixed on the uniform. The sky darkened in the window, and Kaidan checked his Omni-Tool. He should just get it over with. It was already starting to get too late. He'd put it off long enough. He closed his eyes, took a breath, then turned to the door.


	121. Chapter 121

**Chapter 52**

Fish and rising bubbles moved through the glass in front of Shepard's face. The Normandy's cabin rippled with the aquatic glow of the fish tank. Shepard's hand tightened on the plaque hanging limply at her side. As she lifted it, the watery light glimmered on the silver and glass. So gaudy.

Shepard strolled to her desk and traced a finger over the engraved wreath of bay leaves. Award for saving the galaxy. Award for using the crucible. Award for deciding the fate of every form of life. She threw it onto her desk with a thud. It teetered on the edge, and she leaned over the center of the desk on both hands. Even if the desk wasn't glass, she'd be looking right through it.

She missed the Normandy moving and alive. Out of the dry docks finally, it was just sitting here outside HQ, waiting for the next adventure around the bend. It felt so silent. No rumble of engine or FLT, no waiting for the click of the overhead comm. Just silence, except for the bubbling of the fish tank. Footsteps sounded outside her cabin door and the elevator doors slid shut. Shepard forehead creased and she turned to the door with a frown. The cabin door slid open.

"Kaidan?" Shepard stood up from the desk.

"Oh, hey." He paused in the doorway. "You are here."

"How did you know I was here?"

"Was it a secret?" He walked into the room with hands crossed under his arms. "Probably shouldn't use your real ID codes for dock access. Someone with Spectre privileges might track you."

"Uh huh."

"You weren't in your room." He leaned back on the wall by the fishtank. "That is the next logic step, right?"

"Usually I try calling or messaging, but I see the appeal of some good, old fashion stalking." Shepard rested her weight against the edge of the desk to face him. "Why'd you stop by my room?"

"To see your hamster. Wouldn't let me in after my three failed password attempts. Stranger danger, I guess." Kaidan grinned, then nodded at her. "To see you, of course."

Shepard smiled softly at him. Shadows reflected across Kaidan's face from the water.

"How you feeling?" she asked. The desk creaked as she shifted against it.

"Normal. Mostly." He held out his left palm. "Shaky, though. You?"

Shepard held her hand out flat.

"You too," Kaidan said and tucked his hand back under his arm.

"Doctors say anything about it?" Shepard asked.

"I don't think they know. It'll probably go away."

"Damn. I hope so. Ruins the mood I'm going for when holding someone at gunpoint."

"You're Captain Shepard. They'll think you're shaking in rage, not fear."

Shepard grinned. Kaidan stood straighter. He pulled a hand out from under his arm.

"I have something for you."

Shepard's eyebrows pinched. She gave a crooked smile and held out her hand.

"Shaky hands. It's a risky exchange," he said placing a weight into her palm.

He stepped back, and Shepard stared down at her palm. Her smile widened, and she looked up.

"Coasters."

"I want my area rug to brown."

Shepard ran her fingers up the stack of frosted glass, clicking apart one at a time. She chuckled.

"Area rug, huh? Damn. Why'd I go with something so big. Can't talk you into a paper towel dispenser or something?"

"My heart's set on a rug."

Shepard glanced up from under her eyebrows. "How much area we talking for this area rug?"

"Up to you."

"And brown, huh?"

"Can't go wrong with a neutral."

"Right. Wouldn't want to clash with your blank walls and empty end tables."

"Less to dust that way."

"Kaidan, I don't really see you spending your off time with a feather duster."

"Yeah, exactly. Because of the blank walls and empty end tables."

Shepard smirked and shook her head. "Kaidan …"

"Shepard …"

Shepard clutched the glass coaster in both hands and stared down at them. The coasters blurred as her vision as her eyes drifted out of focus. The smooth edge of each coasters tripped under her thumb as she brushed up and down the stack. She looked up.

"What kind of postage am I looking at to send an area rug to the Terminus System?"

Kaidan put his palm on the wall and looked down for a moment. "I'll be back."

"Right." Shepard set the coasters on the desk behind her. "You know, dusting's going to be a major chore, if you come back."

"If?" Kaidan frowned. "I'll be back."

Shepard gave a limp shrug and crossed her arms. "Okay."

Kaidan's gaze drifted around the room, and Shepard watched him, silent. His eyes flickered to hers as if feeling her observe him.

"A lot of memories," he said.

"Yeah." Shepard's throat tightened.

Kaidan settled his back against the wall and gave an exaggerated sigh. "Seems like only yesterday James and I were here, shooting the breeze, hiding out as turien Spectres tossed the ship. Yes, treasured memories."

"I thought my stuff looked disturbed."

"Blame Taccus."

"Came in, my chair was thirty degrees out of alignment with the desk."

"Grounds for a complaint, if I ever heard one."

"So, I should make Taccus a formal complaint about knocking my chair out of alignment?"

"Be justified." Kaidan shrugged.

"Include profanity?"

"Don't hold back."

"Written or verbal?"

"Both. Singing telegram."

"Follow up with revenge?"

"I know his favorite spot in the Spectre office. We'll knock his chair out of alignment forty degrees."

"Harsh."

"Thirty-eight degrees then."

"Thirty, and we prevent the spiral of retaliation."

"Good idea. One broken jaw's enough."

"Broken jaw?" Shepard's eyebrows bunched.

"Oh, yeah." Kaidan gave a small smile and shrugged. "I deserved it."

"You're serious? Taccus slugged you?" Shepard stood up from the desk.

"Why would I joke about that?" Kaidan laughed. "If I'm making up stories, I'm not going to put myself on the receiving end."

"Damn." Shepard studied him. "Suspended from the Alliance, physical altercation with another Spectre - Kaidan, you're becoming a Bad Boy."

"Ah, don't remind me." Kaidan groaned and turned sideways against the wall. He rested his temple against the wall.

Shepard strolled over to the fish tank and leaned against it to face him. His eyes followed a silver fish contorting and circling in the space between them.

"Like my new fish?" she asked.

He smiled. "Watch out. Might show them how to wash a dish."

"Eh." Shepard shrugged against the tank. "After my hamster moves in, they'll hear the gossip soon enough."

"Judgmental, dangerous, _and_ a gossip? I should have gone to your room to see this hamster."

"It's not free," Shepard said and tapped her chest. "Ringmaster, remember?"

"I'll put my credits where my mouth is."

"No refunds."

"Of course. Fair warning: I do send my complaints by singing telegram."

Shepard rolled her eyes. His fingers pressed to the glass, and he glanced over at her.

"You did a good job at the Summit. Being the alternate. I'm glad you change your mind."

"Not sure Sparatus or Ilk would agree, but thanks. Just happy Mason took the wheel back."

The silver fish flashed back and forth under Kaidan's fingers. Shepard rested her face against the cool glass and listened to the bubbles. She watched the fish, like a dancing flame in the water. Her eyes strayed to Kaidan's hand on the glass. She felt a soft smile pull at her lips. She glanced at him, and he was watching her.

"Where's the Laurel?" he asked.

"The Council's award?"

"Yeah."

Shepard motioned off to the side. Kaidan's eyes followed her limp wave to the desk. He lifted his head from the wall and squinted. She tapped the glass tank with a fingertip. The fish darted away.

"Shepard." He slid forward and rested his shoulders against the tank. Shepard looked up and waited. Light ripples across his face as he leaned his cheek against the glass and studied her. "Why are you unhappy about the medal?"

"I'm not unhappy." Shepard frowned. "I'm just not ecstatic or whatever everyone expects me to be."

"Why not?"

"I don't get ecstatic over anything."

"I don't know. I was there when you found that limited-edition model geth juggernaut."

Shepard rolled her eyes and tapped at the fish under the glass. Kaidan touched her arm briefly. She met his eyes.

"Why don't you like the award?" he said.

"Kaidan …" Shepard sighed and pressed the side of her face to the cool glass. She stared across the water at him.

"Why?" he said softly.

The cabin's darkness muted everything around her, except the chill of the fish tank, rippling of bubbles, and Kaidan's eyes glimmering in the pale, blue light. For an instant, she was still in the cargo bay – hearing the shuttle's systems whine down, scrambling to throw off metal, the mesmerizing first glimpse of blue beneath, a rushing return of breath and blood. She blinked it away, but the heaviness remained. Another minute, another choice, somewhere in another lifetime, she stood here alone, hollow in the darkness, staring through empty walls, longing for a heartbeat grown still. Then again, without his help, the bomb would have leveled everything, her and the Normandy with it. He shifted against the wall.

"What is it?" he said again.

His eyes -- deep, soft, brown -- searched her face, and breath leaked out of her lungs.

"The geth," she said finally. "They're all gone, every last one, the whole galaxy. Every synthetic form of like it, EDI, all of them. Maybe even ones we never knew existed. Gone."

Shepard pulled her eyes away and listened to the slow rhythm of his breathing. He didn't say anything. Her forehead creased.

"I told you I had a choice on the Crucible. What I chose … I chose the organics, Kaidan." She looked up.

"Some decision had to be made, right? If you hadn't been there, Shepard, organics would have died too. The geth and EDI would have been lost anyway."

"That wasn't the only choice."

Kaidan frowned. Shepard folded her arms and watched the silver fish.

"I had other choices, Kaidan. The synthetics could have lived."

"The organics or the synthetics. If only one could live …"

"No." Shepard looked up sharply. "It wasn't us or them. It could have been … well, everyone could have lived. But, that's not what I chose."

The furrow between Kaidan's eyes deepened. "I don't understand."

"The Crucible talked to me. It gave me choices. It said I could control the reapers, funnel myself into some synthetic code, and watch out for life – humanity, all synthetics and organics. What the Illusive Man said, it was possible."

"Control the reapers? Become one?"

"Yes."

His eyes darkened. "Maybe the Crucible wanted you to think you could control them. Maybe they would have controlled you."

"Maybe. Or, maybe I could have rebuilt, protected. Everyone working together, alive, no genocide."

"But turn into a reaper? Even if they didn't control you … Shepard, would it even be you? Without your emotions, with your humanity stripped away, the decisions you'd mean to make may not be the same decisions you'd make as a … reaper."

"EDI felt fidelity. Maybe she couldn't feel love like we do, but there was something that drove her decisions. Decisions to help us."

"It wouldn't be you, Shepard."

"There was another choice too."

Kaidan leaned forward. "Another?"

"Synthesis, combine organics and synthetics into one life form. According to the Crucible, the pinnacle of evolution, true symbiosis, harmony."

"Like Saren."

Shepard nodded with her face against the glass.

"He didn't seem so happy in the end," Kaidan said. "He shot himself because he couldn't live like that."

"He was indoctrinated."

"Maybe with choosing that decision, we'd all be indoctrinated."

"Or maybe, if it was true, geth, humans, turiens, every lifeform would have true peace, collaboration, the best of all of us in harmony. Together."

"But you didn't choose that. You must have felt something wrong in it."

Shepard dropped her eyes and shrugged. "Like controlling the reapers, it was just the unknown. I was afraid."

"It would be risk. Gamble the galaxy on a big win and end up losing everything," Kaidan said.

"No form of life lost."

"Shepard, I don't want to be part machine. The geth, they probably wouldn't have wanted to be part organic. We needed to survive the reapers as ourselves, not save some version of ourselves, some version not even really be us anymore."

"Even if it really was perfection?"

"Life's never been perfect." Kaidan studied her face. "Maybe it isn't meant to be."

Shepard moved away from the fish tank. The Laurel of Apotheosis gleamed in the light from the edge of her desk. Apotheosis, ascension to near divinity, a reward for playing God. She rounded her desk chair. She faced him and gripped the back.

"You could be right about the choices. But in the end, I'm no different than the Illusive Man. Humanity first. To not risk us, humanity, I chose to kill them."

Kaidan drifted over to her and stopped by the desk.

"What if it had been reversed then? What if by destroying the reapers, you knew humanity would be lost instead of the synthetics?"

"Would I choose a different option?"

Kaidan nodded. Shepard's fingers dug into the chair's plastic.

"I don't know," she said.

The silver and glass plaque caught her eye again. She circled the chair and sank down slowly. The plaque's wreath of evergreens, it symbolized honor and victory. This wasn't a victory for the victorious, it was a victory won by sacrifice. Her eyes cut back to Kaidan.

"I still would have destroyed them."

"Then, there's you answer." Kaidan sank down by her legs and put a hand over hers. "You made the right choice. You did what the Council asked – destroyed the reapers. Weighing options and risk, losing one to save many – that's the sort of logic, the geth used. You saved us. I think the geth would have understood that decision."

Shepard slipped a hand out from under his and rested it on top. He gazed back at her with a warmth playing in his smile. The softness on his face and touch of his hands made her chest clench. The depth in his eyes made her throat go dry, and his hands tightened on hers. Then he pulled away and stood.

"I probably should head out."

Shepard swallowed against the stickiness in her throat. "When do you …"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh." Shepard gave a slow nod that sharpened. "Right."

"You're leaving, too, though."

"Uh, yeah. Rachni activity's increasing around Palaven. Time to get it straightened out."

"An important task," Kaidan said.

"And so's stabilizing the Terminus System." Shepard stood. "I thought they may change their plans for you after your promotion."

"We have over thirty ships committed now, not just Alliance. Someone has to make the decisions."

"You're heading it? Not just the Alliance, all of it?"

Kaidan nodded.

"General Alenko," Shepard said.

"Hackett should be proud." Kaidan gave a weak smile. "He wanted big things for us."

"On our way, I guess." Shepard forced a smile in return. "If we can sort out all this Rachni trouble, I'll going to Thessia, eventually. The asari have agreed to help the Council and Alliance in restoring the citadel."

Kaidan gazed at the fish tank and gave a delayed nod. "That's good." He looked back to her. "Touch base with Liara. She's recruiting her contacts there. If politics get in the way, she can help you."

"Well, it's Palaven first. The citadel isn't priority. Thessia's still a year or more out."

Shepard concentrated on picking at a nick along the edge of the desk.

"I know," Kaidan said. "But you should connect with her, if the time comes. It's your decisions though. We'll see what barriers you run into. With the citadel orbiting Earth, the popularity of it being the seat of galactic power … Can't imagine it won't have its opponents. Liara can help."

"Liara will be on Thessia?" Shepard folded her arms and looked up. "Even a year, two years from now? On Thessia?"

"As far as I know."

"As far as you know?"

"Yeah." Kaidan clutched his elbows and dropped his eyes to the floor. After a moment, he shifted. "I think it's for the best." He looked up. "Returning to Thessia. What's right."

Shepard held his eyes then nodded slowly. "All right. I'll connect with her then. Maybe you're right about the politics."

"Well, I should probably …" Kaidan glanced at the cabin door.

"Thanks for the coasters." Shepard ran her fingers over the stack sitting on the desk.

Kaidan took steps backward and grinned. "Better use them, or they'll be hell to dust."

"I better start drinking four beers at once then."

Kaidan paused a few steps from the door with a chuckle. He opened his mouth then stopped as if considering what to say in response. Finally, he shrugged with a grin.

"I look forward to the late-night calls then."

Shepard pulled mouth to the side. "After slamming down four beers? I'll be button mashing. You saw me hailing a cab."

He gave her a gentle smile. "Am I under 'K' or 'A?'" He pushed the button for the door. "Put me under 'A.'"

Shepard returned a strained smile and her pulse quickened.

"Take care, Shepard."

The door opened, and he turned away.

"Kaidan. Wait."

She took four long strides and knocked into him, coiling her arms around his chest. The impact staggered him back. He steadied and wrapped his arms around her. It made her heart slow. She closed her eyes, face rising and falling against his chest, his heart beating in her ear. The comm buoy was a year out from being restored, at least. The mass relay would take years. Unless he relayed a message to her through the Council, this was the last they'd talk for a long time. Even longer to feel him this way again.

A hand smoothed her hair, and a weight settled on top of her head. Each breath from his chest stirred the strands above her forehead. It had been a long time since she'd been held like this by him. She thought she'd exaggerated how good it felt, but she hadn't. Her scalp bloomed in warmth as he turned his face turned into her hair, and his arms squeezed her in tighter. His aftershave and a soapy scent filled her lungs. He smelled as he always had. His heartbeat, his breathing, his smell, his arms tight and warm around her – it was the same. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip, and she jerked back.

"You all right?" he asked as she pulled away.

Shepard gave a firm nod keeping her eyes on the floor and turned away.

"Bye, Kaidan."

She went to the desk, keeping her back to him, and pinched her eyes shut as a tickle went down her cheek. The metal floor behind her creaked with Kaidan shifting his weight. Her eyes snapped open, and she fumbled at the desk for one of her datapads. She clutched it tightly, steadying her breath, and switched it on. Kaidan's feet turned slowly, the cabin door slid open again, and his footsteps echoed away. Shepard tilted her head to the side enough to catch the edge of the door close.

She dropped the datapad rattling on the desk and braced herself over it. She squeezed her eyes so tight they hurt and drew in a gasping breath. When the breath left her, it shuddered her whole body. She opened blurry eyes. The Laurel stared at her from the corner of her cloudy vision, and she pulled it to sit below her face. A droplet fell on the glass as her finger traced the wreath of leaves. She set her medal upright on the desk next to the Star of Terra and backed up. It lingered in her eyes, even as she wiped her face, and turned away. She needed to get out of this cabin.

 

* * *

 

The galaxy map glittered in the center of the Normandy's CIC. Shepard hunched over the railing focused more on her breathing than the stars in front of her. She should go somewhere, a club or a bar, meet Garrus and Tali. Maybe Wrex was free or Grunt. Cortez stayed up late. She'd take anyone. Shepard checked the time on her Omni-Tool. The bars were probably winding down.

She slid her hand along the railing and stepped down into the CIC. She shuffled to the gangway. A dark Vancouver horizon opened in front of her as she neared the cockpit. Light from HQ's docking gate drowned out the stars overhead. The moon hung low, edged in a golden glow, sinking below the building. Shepard's eyes strayed to the terminal's long bay of windows. Her heart caught in her throat. A distant figure, arms crossed, a shadow in the low night lighting, gazed out at the Normandy. Kaidan. He backed up and turned away. Shepard pressed closer to the edge of the cockpit's window. Her breath fogged her vision through the glass. She froze watching his outline fade into the dim hallway.

Shepard stumbled back and clenched the arm of the pilot's seat. She lowered herself onto it with a thud. Shakily, she combed fingers into her hair and bowed her head with a hitching breath. The Vancouver bars may be winding down, but one somewhere would be open. She didn't need to wake anyone up. She could go by herself.

"Captain?"

Shepard bolted straight in the seat and whipped her head around. Joker swayed on his crutches watching her from the gangway. Shepard blinked rapidly to clear the blurriness and pushed to her feet.

She steadied her voice. "Joker. What're you doing here?"

"I'm always here. What are you doing here? And in my chair."

Shepard glanced down at the pilot's seat and stepped away. Her boot clicked on something against the floor. She focused back at Joker.

"You keep sneaking on here, Joker, I'm letting the next hostage-taker keep you."

"Yeah, that all sucked." He readjusted his weight on the crutches. "Saw Kaidan out there."

"Yeah?" Shepard said.

Joker continued to the pilot's seat. Shepard moved to the side to avoid his crutch as he passed. She turned around.

"See you later, Jok—"

"Hey, Captain." Joker lowered himself into the chair. He leaned his crutches against the middle console. "You seen the new navigation holofield they put in up here?"

"No." Shepard gazed absently around the gangway.

Joker spun to the cockpit windows and punched up a screen. Shepard stood over his shoulder as he scrolled through a list of commands. In the reflection, he looked preoccupied. Shepard swiped her sleeve across her face and smoothed her breathing.

"Here." Joker punched a button.

A field of star systems and planets spun out in front of him. The Milkway glowed across the cockpit overlaying the real stars beyond the window. Shepard forced a shaky smile at his reflection.

"Rad, huh? Pretty sweet upgrade, right?"

"Yeah. Pretty sweet."

"Wish I'd had it back when EDI was here. She liked the CIC's galaxy map. Would have loved this."

"I could see that."

"You know," Joker twisted to see her, "I'd rather not have this upgrade or any of them. I'd rather just have EDI. Doesn't make up for it, even with all the fancy stuff to replace her."

Shepard frowned. "Of course. I'd rather have EDI too."

"Yeah." Joker turned back to the map. "I'd rather have her back in some form than have the ship, I guess."

Shepard scrunched her brow. "What?"

Joker swiveled around in his seat. "I love the Normandy. I mean, hands down. But, I guess, maybe I loved the Normandy so much 'cause she was the Normandy. What I really cared about was her. Now, she's gone, isn't coming back, I wish I'd lost the ship instead of her, ya know?"

"Never thought I'd hear you say something like that, Joker."

"Yeah, well …" Joker turned back to the star map. "Guess, I didn't think I'd ever say that either. Just had to lose what I really cared about to realize what it was."

Shepard's forehead pinched harder, and she shifted on her feet. Her boot crunched something on the floor again. Something metallic caught the light on the floor. She scooped the up and uncurled her hand. A chill jolted up her spine and breath drained out of her lungs. She stared at it.

"What's that?" Joker turned his chair. He raised himself up on his armrests to get a glimpse her trembling palm. "That come off a uniform?"

Shepard squeezed her fingers around the silver button. It had been lost the bowels of the ship. She had let it go over the grate. But here it was again, hers if she wanted it. A second chance. It dug into her palm.

"Captain, you look—"

"I need to go."

Shepard spun on her heels and rounded the doorway to the ship's airlock.

"Later, Captain."

Shepherd plunged down the loading ramp and burst into the terminal. She unfolded the button in her hand and stared at it for a long moment before shoving it away in her pocket. Heart pounding, she checked the time on her Omni-Tool. She knew what she needed to do. The Normandy caught the side of her vision, gleaming through the terminal's window. Shepard gripped the railing along the glass and fixed her eyes on the it. She needed to do something first though.


	122. Chapter 122

**Chapter 53**

"Hey there, Lola." James came up behind her in the reflection.

The pale sunrise gleamed across the Normandy's hull. Shepard turned away from the window.

"James. They really did discharge you."

"Shoved me out last night."

"Feeling okay?"

"Bien." James eyed her. "What's this about, Lola? Got your message at the crack of dawn. Here I am."

Shepard tilted her head to the window and twisted back to the window. James came next to her with knitted eyebrows. He followed her gaze to the Normandy.

"James." Shepard looked over at him. "I want to talk to you about something."

 

* * *

 

Shepard sighed and checked the time on her Omni-Tool again. A feline-eyed assistant watched her over the top of the terminal on her desk. Her expression only changed in a degree of sourness, but still an improvement over Anthony. Shepard re-crossed her legs and resettled herself on the couch, not for the first time. The couch's armrest was too high or the cushions too plush, she couldn't find the right position.

"How long's this meeting?" Shepard asked.

"The admiral has a full schedule today."

"Too busy to see one of his direct subordinates?" Shepard shifted again on the cushion. The fringe of a palm leaf tickled her arm, and she shoved the plant away. The pot teetered. Shepard grabbed a handful of leaves.

"Uh, sorry," she said righting it. A piece of torn leaf stuck to her hand. She rubbed it off against the couch then stood. "Look, I—"

The office door slid open.

"Put it in tomorrow's report," Wilson's voice said.

A pair of rear admirals Shepard recognized came through the door at the same time.

"We'll review it again tomorrow." Wilson stood in the doorway.

The rear admirals saluted him. The assistant shot Shepard a pointed frown as she hedged up to the door.

"Admiral Wilson," Shepard said.

Wilson's lips pressed into a flat line as she wedged up beside one of the rear admirals.

The assistant rushed up behind her. "Admiral, I'm so sorry. She just—"

"No, no," Wilson said. He turned his attention back to the rear admirals and returned their salute. "Tomorrow."

The admiral next to her glanced sideways with slit eyes. He gave her a heavy frown before filing out the reception room door behind the other rear admiral. The assistant hovered behind Shepard, but Wilson gave the assistant a nod. She drifted back to her desk.

"Admiral," Shepard said.

"What is it, Captain?" Wilson sighed.

"I need to talk to you."

"Another time." He put up a hand. "I have a parliamentary hearing in thirty minutes. I need to prepare."

"Sir …"

"Tomorrow should work fine for me." Wilson looked past her to the sour-faced assistant. "Gallagher, set the captain up with a time." Shepard folded her arms with a frown. Wilson regarded her for a moment, then added. "An early morning one."

"You have that debrief at eight," the assistant said.

"I'll come in early." Wilson gave Shepard a pointed look and turned back to his office. "Later, Captain."

Shepard dashed around him into his office and rounded to face him. Wilson sputtered.

"Sir, I need to speak with you. Now. If you can't talk to me, you'll get it in an email."

"Send it in an email then," Wilson said through his teeth. "You're dismissed."

"Fine." Shepard shrugged and moved past him back to the door. "You're going to be angry."

"About what?"

"Wait for the email, sir."

"Fine!" Wilson snapped.

Shepard paused in the doorway. The assistant was already standing and waving Shepard toward the reception room's exit. Wilson flagged the assistant off with the back of his hand, and eyeing Shepard. He tipped his head to his desk, but she stopped in the center of the room and let the door close behind her.

Wilson released a weighty sigh and stomped to his desk. "This had better—"

"I'm resigning."

Wilson stumbled. He grabbed hold of the desk and turned back with wide eyes. "What?"

"I'm sorry. That's what I had to say, sir."

Wilson frowned at the floor.

"Why?" He looked up.

"Doesn't matter."

"Sit down." Wilson indicated the couch in the corner of the office.

"No." Shepard backed up to the door. "I'll write you something more official, but I—"

"It's Alenko, isn't it?"

Shepard stopped. "What?"

Wilson put his palm out toward the couch. "You wanted a chat. Let's have a chat." He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. "I have time. I can postpone if I must." He strolled to the couch and looked back at her. "Sit."

Shepard shifted on her feet. "I—"

"Come over here, Shepard. Let's have a chat."

He sat down on the far end of the couch and motioned to the other end. Shepard glanced at the door one last time then came over with a sigh.

"What?" she said.

She plopped down on the far end. Wilson's eyes hardened with a frown.

"Sir," Shepard added. "What, sir?"

Wilson gave a slight nod and put an arm across the back of the couch. He angled himself toward her.

"Shepard, I know the factors here."

"Factors?" Shepard said flatly.

"Kaidan Alenko. You two …" He rolled his hand in the air then rested it back on the couch. "I'm aware."

"It isn't like that. Hasn't been for a while. What you saw …"

Wilson held up a palm and looked away. "That isn't something I need to know."

"Well …" Shepard peered at him. "It wasn't what you think. That time at in my quarters."

"Don't try denying this, Shepard." Wilson sighed and rolled his eyes over to her. "This is all off the record."

"Then, off the record, I'm telling you - it wasn't like that. Kaid—General Alenko did nothing wrong."

"Nothing wrong?" Wilson frowned with a snort. He leaned forward and dropped his voice. "You taking a shower with him there alone in your quarters. Evidence of drinking. Easily unduly intimate and witnessed firsthand by two senior officers. It doesn't take more than that. Completely inappropriate, and it disrupted your work. It was a galaxy-wide political event where both you and Alenko had a duty to protect security. Tell me that doesn't qualify for a fraternization court martial. It's by our good graces, you're not both sitting in a disciplinary hearing right now."

Shepard stomped to her feet. "This is a witch hunt."

Wilson's nostrils flared. "Sit back down."

"Not if this is the conversation."

"I'm stating the facts."

"Kaidan didn't do anything wrong. Yes, we drank. You have scores of officers that get together and, yes, drink. He didn't even know I was going to take a shower. He was leaving anyway. Subpoena me. I'll say the same thing. Either way, I'm resigning, and that can be the end of it. Whatever happens after is no harm, no foul. No reason there should be any problems for him."

"What happens after the fact doesn't absolve anyone from what happened before it. You've read the regulations. You were both active military officers at the time. Alenko knew that."

"You'll pursue this against him?" Shepard drew closer.

"Alenko's arrogant. He could use being brought down a few pegs."

"Kaidan? Arrogant?" Shepard snorted. She gave Wilson a flat look. "Is this blackmail to prevent me from resigning? It won't work." She turned to the door. "Subpoena me at his hearing then. I'll help him fight it."

"Come back."

"We're done here." Shepard reached for the door's button.

"There's another way." Wilson shot out of his seat. Shepard paused. "Hear me out. The Alliance does consider you an asset. A galactic pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned, but an asset."

Shepard turned with hands on her hips and waited. Wilson strolled over to her.

"Alenko could use a reminder of his place. I stand by that. It'd do him good."

Shepard turned to the door button again, but Wilson cut in front of her.

"It won't happen though," Wilson said. "There was a push in the past to see you and Alenko disciplined. Some voices wanted one or both of you out, but we know now a lot of that was coming from people with another agenda. They weren't alone in pushing it, of course, but feelings have changed."

Shepard gazed at him coolly. Wilson moved back to the couch and waited of her. She didn't follow.

"The Alliance recognizes your value. And … Kaidan Alenko, too. What you managed together at the Summit was reckless, brazen, even—" He caught himself and seemed to think better of it. He changed his tone. "The job got done. The risk was averted. And, it took some talent. The Alliance sees that, can use that."

"So glad to be useful."

"I saw you and the General in action that night. I don't like him, and you're a royal pain in the ass, Shepard, but you two work well together. Even I could see that. You're two important officers. We don't want to lose that."

"Then, what are you proposing?" Shepard frowned.

Wilson looked meaningfully at the far corner of the couch. Shepard sighed and came over.

"Here, is what I can say," Wilson said as she sat down. "You and Alenko do whatever you want. In private. Discreet. The Alliance doesn't need to know, and we won't be looking."

"Discreet?" Shepard sat forward.

"Discreet. Private. In public – meetings, hallways, outdoors, indoors, on duty, off duty, friends and family, anyone not just you and him – you're coworkers. What you do in total privacy, we don't care."

"Really? Reg's be damned?"

"That's why it'll be kept low profile, Shepard. Other officers can't know. We're not officially having this conversation."

"And if someone finds out?"

"Don't let them. If they do, well, we can deal with that internally. Denials go a long way. Keep your distance during the day. The rest of the time, no one's watching your door."

Shepard leaned back into the corner of the couch. She studied Wilson.

"Kaidan's going to the Terminus System."

"It's an important mission. It's going to further his career. Your tasks on Palaven, Thessia - that's going to further yours. Keep whatever communication you want. Comm buoys will be up in a year. As a Spectre, you have access to the Council's quantum entanglement comm before then. Granted, it is an open, certainly not private, channel. Communication should be … professional. After some time, when these assignments are finished, there may be opportunity to be stationed in a closer vicinity. Relays are coming back up. You work well together. There may be opportunities for some collaboration in the future."

Shepard rested an elbow on the armrest and ran her fingernails across her lips. It was a solution. They could keep their ranks. Per Wilson, it wouldn't inhibit their career trajectories, and they would be together. Warmth perfused from her chest at the memory of resting up against him the night before the Summit - his chest rising and falling against her face, the beating of his heart, the warmth of his arm encircling her shoulder, breathing in the scent of his soap. She could have all of that, and she wouldn't lose anything. Shepard glanced over at Wilson. He smiled, waiting.

Thoughts rolled around her head as her eyes drifted over Wilson's office. Medals glinted in the overhead lighting on the wall across from her. For appearances, she probably couldn't be front row at Kaidan's next commendation, and he'd be saluting her at hers. Maybe even a handshake. She saw it then: Alliance functions - arriving at separate times, staggering their departures; moderating glasses of champagne at the Council's anniversary celebration and meeting up later only to fight and fret - someone could have seen that lingering touch on the back, that lieutenant might read into that errant comment if he thought more about it; no nights out without the cover of a friendly entourage; no restaurant dinners alone, unless a private room was reserved off the main floor, and then entering through the back door; no dancing; no parties; no greetings in the terminal after a long assignment. Their whole relationship - reserved, strained, waiting for the evening; sneaking and hiding in front of crew and anyone but their most trusted friends; agonizing over which officer's career they'd ruin if they gave themselves away and he went to administration to report it. There would never be spontaneous kisses or even touching hands. Lingering looks, at most.

They couldn't recognize their relationship. The single woman studying their group from across the bar wouldn't see any reason not to approach. She'd buy Kaidan a drink, smiling, and trail a finger down his arm, a warm public gesture he probably missed and which Shepard couldn't give him. Shepard's glass of beer would practically crack in her clenched hand as Kaidan shot her nervous glances and fended the woman off in some too-polite way they'd fight about later. The woman, feeling the vibe, might even ask if she and Kaidan were together. 'No' she'd have to hiss from between her teeth, try to dampen the fire in her eyes, and pull up a pleasant smile.

And, their future together would be static. Kaidan wasn't the type to be satisfied with midnight hook-ups and clandestine meetings around corners and down dark hallways. After so many years, it might not be enough. Maybe … maybe it wasn't enough for her either. Wilson watched her, smile fading. Shepard pulled her fingertips from her lips and stood up.

"No."

"No?" Wilson frowned. "Think this through."

"No," Shepard repeated. "That's not what I want. I appreciate the offer, but …"

Shepard crossed over to the door. Wilson pushed himself up from the couch.

"But what?" he asked.

She stopped in front of the door and looked over.

"It's not enough," she said.

"You're losing the Normandy."

"I know." She stared at the door's button for a long moment, then turned back to Wilson. "Actually, if you'll hear me out, I've considered that. I have a suggestion."

 

* * *

 

Shepard rushed down the terminal. She dodged through the Alliance uniforms intermingled with alien diplomats and clerical staff, all going different directions. Docking bay A17 loomed ahead. Shepard checked the time with it bouncing on her wrist, then spurred ahead faster. A salarian stopped in front of her answering an Omni-Tool call. She crashed around him and shot ahead. She burst around the corner of terminal to dock A17. The transport shuttle was still there, docked.

Shepard smoothed down her uniform and walked over to the loading area. Alliance officers stood in a loose cluster around the loading ramp. Shepard scanned past their faces and gazed down the ramp to the shuttle. There wasn't any movement inside, and the lights seemed too dim for people to already be loaded.

"Shepard," a voice said.

Shepard spun around. Admiral Hackett walked across the dock to her.

"Admiral," Shepard said with a growing frown.

She scanned around the dock again before moving to meet him. He motioned her off to the side.

"Shepard, Admiral Wilson contacted me. Let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to discuss." Shepard kept her back to the wall and faced the loading area. She searched the crowd moving opposite directions in the hallway.

"What's the plan?" Hackett asked crossing his arms. "Go to the Terminus System?"

"Not necessarily." Shepard glanced at him.

"A waste."

"That's for me to decide, Admiral."

Hackett sighed and watched her scanning the crowd. Maybe she shouldn't have assumed the shuttle was empty. She turned to the shuttle and squinted down the ramp. Hackett moved into her field of view. Shepard frowned and stood on the balls of her feet to see over him.

"He's not coming," Hackett said.

"What?" Shepard's heels slapped down on the floor. "He already left? Damnit."

"No," Hackett said pulling his crossed arms tighter. "He resigned."

"What?" Ice hardened her chest. "What are you talking about?"

"Resigned before you did," Hackett said. "This morning. I thought you may not know. That's why I came to catch you."

"Catch me for what?" Shepard's shallow breathing faster.

"Catch you from making a mistake."

"Did he say why?"

"It was quick. He didn't give a reason."

Shepard touched her forehead mind racing.

"He quit, Shepard."

Shepard met Hackett's eyes.

"He quit," Hackett repeated. "It means you don't have to."

Shepard stared at him. Hackett stepped closer.

"Kaidan's not an officer now, only a Spectre. There shouldn't be … There's no reason you couldn't continue captaining the Normandy."

"Kaidan quit," Shepard echoed, eyes dropping.

"But you don't have to."

Shepard looked up.

"He's left the service," Hackett continued. "Regs don't apply now. Stay with the Alliance, Shepard. You can keep the Normandy."

Shepard gazed down the long terminal corridor. The Normandy was at docking bay A28. Through the layers of walls, people, and ships, she could see it in her mind's eye gleaming in the morning sun. Waiting. She braced herself against the wall and focused back on Hackett.

"What do you say?" He smiled.


	123. Chapter 123

**Chapter 54**

Shepard's eyes reflected back at her in the copper plaque. ANDERSON. Not too far away on the rock slab, to her left and a few rows down - ALENKO, Kaidan's dad. Shepard shuffled back a step and scanned the grassy expanse of memorials.

She'd tried his room. Tried her own room. Tried the Normandy. Tried messaging him. No response. He, apparently, wasn't interested in see her. She'd assumed he'd be looking for her. It didn't make sense. Maybe she'd jumped to conclusion too fast. Rather self-centered to assume his motives had to do with her. Perhaps he just didn't want to go to the Terminus System. This didn't seem like the way he'd go about it though, if that was the only factor. Maybe there were other anchors. He wanted to stay with his family. Maybe he wanted to go to Thessia. Shepard released a long breath and meandered down the wall of names. The sun hung low over the ocean in the distance ahead. She should call off the search. If he wanted to talk, he'd find her.

She stopped at the edge of the Memorial Gardens overlooking the ocean. Ocean wind roared in her ears and whipped her hair flagging back behind her. A waist-high wall of stones railed the ocean cliff face. Shepard put her hands on it and looked out over the ocean. She could use his Spectre trick, track where he used his access codes. That required he went somewhere requiring an access code though.

Shepard pressed her palms down on the wall and lifted onto her toes to feel the wind. She just needed to relax, but this a infuriating. He'd seen her messages. She could tell. The tide looked like it was sweeping in. She gazed below at the beach. Her eyes stopped.

She dropped back into the grass and rushed along the rock wall. Sure enough, further down the wall there was a metal gate. A stone staircase zigzagged down the cliffside to access the beach. She vaulted down the stairs two at a time. It was a lot of crisscrossing before she finally stumbled out into the sand. Down the beach, Kaidan was already looking over his shoulder at her.

"Kaidan." She tromped through the sand. "Hell, you're hard to find."

He stood next to a white driftwood log where the powdery sand changed into a packed, wet brown. Shepard came up around the driftwood and stopped on Kaidan's other side.

"Hey. Why're you ignoring my messages?"

He looked away, back at the ocean. "Hey, Shepard."

"'Hey, Shepard'?" She frowned and tried to catch his eye. "What's going on? Why're you down here? I've been looking for you."

He sighed and folded his arms. His eyes fixed on the tide foam slipping up the beach toward them. Shepard moved in front of him.

"Kaidan?"

His eyes lowered. "I don't know, Shepard. I'm trying to think."

"Think about what? You know that I heard, right?"

"I figured."

"And?" Shepard waited. "Were you going to tell me in the next forty-eight hours, before I left to Palavan? Or, just wait for me to hear it on ANN?"

"ANN?" He eyed her sharply. "It wouldn't … That's newsworthy?"

"An Alliance general resigning the day of deployment on a major assignment. Uh, yeah, Kaidan, of course, it is."

"Hell." He covered his mouth, fingertips steepled over the bridge of his nose.

"Kaidan." Shepard frowned and pulled on one of his hands.

He sucked in a breath and dropped his hands.

"Damnit, Kaidan. Why're you all upset like this?" Shepard peered in his face. "It was your decision, right? No one said something to you. Did you think you'd be disciplined over what Wilson and Hackett saw?"

"What?" He frowned. "No."

"Then, what's going on? Why're you out here like this?"

"You really think this is going on ANN?"

He turned away and shuffled to the log of driftwood. He sat with a thud and looked at his hands. Shepard walked over.

"I …" He paused and rubbed a callus on his hand. "I left them in the lurch, didn't I?"

"Uh … yeah, I suppose." Shepard sat next to him.

There wasn't much room, and he scooted over.

"That's all right, though. They'll figure it out." Shepard hunched over beside him. "They have other people."

Kaidan shook his head still looking down at his hand. "I should have talked to the captains first. The biotics division deserved better than this. I … Damn." He put his face in his hands again.

"Kaidan." Shepard pulled at his hand again.

This time he resisted. Shepard let go.

"It's all right," she said.

"Is it?" he said through his hands. "I don't know."

"And, that's what you're down here to think about - whether you let everyone down?"

"That and … other things." He dropped his hands and looked at her.

Shepard grabbed one of his hand with both of hers and held it on her knee. He didn't pull his hand back, but he looked away again.

"Is there a different reason than the one I'm thinking?" Shepard asked.

"Shepard …"

"Just tell me, Kaidan. You have to know I'd jump to that conclusion. Unless … unless it's Liara. Maybe-"

"No." He sat up sharply with a frown.

"Then, is there another reason? Something else I'm missing?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know." Shepard exhaled roughly. "Who the hell knows at this point? Maybe you discovered your call for marine biology. The beach here, the way you ogled my fish …"

"Don't joke."

"Don't joke?" Shepard stared at him. "You want to be alone then? Am I bothering you?"

"You're not … bothering me."

"But you want to be alone?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Fine." Shepard dropped his hand and shoved up off the driftwood. "I guess whenever you come to your epiphany, you can come find me."

He frowned with a shrug. "Fine."

"Fine," Shepard repeated.

She strode away kicking up sand with each step and glared back over her shoulder at him. He leaned forward again and picked at the callous on his hand. Shepard stopped. Her jaw flexed. She spun back around.

"You know, Kaidan—"

"I knew you couldn't leave."

"What?" She clomped closer.

He twisted to look at her. "We can talk about it. I don't care. You won't leave me alone until we do."

"I was about to."

"But you didn't."

"Still could."

Kaidan shrugged and turned back to face the ocean. Shepard drummed her fingers on her hips. She sighed and stomped over.

"Told you," he murmured.

She bent down and shoved his shoulder. He batted her hand away.

"You always badger me like this," he said.

"Badger you?" Shepard laughed.

"Yeah."

"Well, maybe you need some badgering. You're all sulky." She sank down next to him on the log again. "Come on." She hunched forward and looked up in his face. "I want to be with you, Kaidan. You don't want the same thing?"

His eyes snapped to her, focused and unblinking. "Is that true?"

"Is it true?" Shepard echoed with a frown. "I was told not to joke." She paused holding his eye and let out a weary breath. "I wouldn't joke about that, Kaidan."

He straightened, still staring at her. His eyes searched her face. He opened his mouth then stopped himself. His expression darkened, and he looked away.

"Kaidan …" Shepard's heart beat harder.

Perhaps he'd felt the way she did now on the Alliance veranda a year ago. Their coffee cooling in the bay wind, as he waited through her long lead-in for the bad news.

"Kaidan," Shepard repeated in a wobbly voice. "Just tell me. If I'm wrong to think that, then I'm wrong. Just say it."

"Shepard." He angled himself to face her. "I want to ask you something, but I'm not sure you'll give me the real answer."

"I'm not going to lie to you." Shepard's brow pinched.

"You don't know that," he said in a firm voice.

Shepard let out a long breath. "I'm so pathological, I'm lying to you about lying to you? Come on."

"I'm not saying that," he grumbled.

"Then what? What are you saying? I can't figure you out."

He shifted on the log and shrugged. "You don't want to hurt me, so maybe you'd say something that isn't fully true. It isn't really a lie you'd think, because it's half true or because it's for a good reason, spare my feelings. People lie all the time. They don't think of themselves as liars. Sometimes, you know saying the truth would leave you feeling guiltier than if you just stretched it."

"What?" Shepard blurted with brows indenting deeper. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"That's my worry. Aside from all the other stuff."

"That I'm going to lie to spare your feelings?"

"That you won't give me the truth, yes."

Shepard snorted, pushed off the log, and stood. "Why would you even think that? I haven't held the truth back from you before. We've always been honest with each other. Now you doubt me?"

"Shepard." He got to his feet. "When we talked last year, you were so afraid of hurting me, you had a whole themed story worked up leading to the punchline. How am I not supposed to worry you'd hold back to spare me … hurt feelings or whatever?"

"I never lied to you," Shepard hissed.

"I'm not saying you did." He raised his voice, then caught himself. He took a few breaths, then repeated in a calm voice, "I'm saying, trying to say, you obviously are worried enough to act out of character to protect my feelings. Why can't I think you'd do something similar again?"

"Kaidan …" Shepard's chest heaved with each quickening breath.

"I just want the truth." He looked away.

Shepard tore in front of him, sprayed sand around her feet, to block his line of view.

"Oh, trust me, Kaidan. I'll give it to you. No worries there."

His eyes rounded. She tapped a finger hard into his chest.

"Shoot." She snapped. "Go ahead. Ask me your damn question. You want honesty? You'll get it."

His mouth tightened.

"Well?" Shepard extended her arms out and shuffled a step closer.

"Well …" he said. He took a step back and bumped into the driftwood.

Shepard took another step forward.

"Give me the damn question," she said through gritted teeth.

Kaidan put his palms up. "Now I'm worried I've skewed the results the other direction."

"What?" Shepard stormed.

Kaidan backed along the side of the driftwood, but Shepard followed right on top of each step backward. The corners of his lips twitched up.

"This is funny?" Shepard asked.

"You're so mad at me." Kaidan's lips hardened, but the edges started to lift again. "Are you going to attack me?"

"Attack you?" Shepard stopped.

"Yeah." Kaidan paused in the sand. "Bury me neck deep. Let the tide roll in."

"Don't joke," Shepard said flatly.

"Who's joking?" He grinned.

Shepard's breathing slowed with some effort. He smiled crookedly at her, and she narrowed her eyes. She took a sharp step forward, and he stumbled back putting his palms up again.

"Really think I'd win, huh?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. I wouldn't hurt you. Can't say the same the other direction."

"I thought your stories didn't put you on the receiving end."

"In fiction. This is nonfiction."

"Worried I'm going to make it too graphic?"

"Uh … well. Depends on the type of graphic."

Shepard gave him a hard stare. A smile slanted on her lips though, and she folded her arms with a loud exhale. Kaidan gave a restrained smile.

"Give me your damn question." Shepard sighed.

"Fine." Kaidan raised his palms with fingers spread and narrowed the space between them. "Listen …"

"Oh, I am."

"I know." Kaidan stood in front of her. "Listen, Shepard. You said you want to … be with me. Is it because I quit the Alliance?"

"What?" Her forehead wrinkled.

"Look," he said. "I don't want you feeling like you owe me anything. That's not why I did it. It's why I didn't do it. Until now. I don't want you to be with me because I ruined my career over you, and you owe it to me."

"Then, you didn't leave the Alliance to be with me?"

Kaidan gave a heavy sigh. "I say 'yes,' I'm putting pressure on you. I'd rather we're not together than have any part of you only with me because of guilt. I had other reasons for leaving, but … yes, for us, I wanted to make it possible."

Shepard's lung filled, and he grabbed her hands.

"I love you, Shepard. I always have. I never stopped. Of course, I want to be with you, but I don't want that if it's not everything you want."

"Kaidan," Shepard said softly and stepped up to him. "You can't think that. Of course, that's what I want. You know how I feel about you."

"Do I?" He shrugged and looked down at their hands. He traced a thumb over the back of her hand.

"You doubt it?" Shepard stooped to look up at him.

"I don't know," he said gently. "I—I know you care about me, Shepard."

"So, I didn't mean all the things I've ever told you?"

"You all but said you regretted it. You told me there were promises and things implied before the war that couldn't be lived up to after. I understood what you meant, Shepard. Don't act like there's no reason for me to be confused.

Shepard shifted on her feet and chewed her lip.

"Okay, that's fair. But, I didn't intend to imply that I didn't meant the things I'd said to you, only that I didn't know how to follow through on them. Kaidan." She tightened her grip on his hands and stared into his face. "I love you. I love you too, all right? Is that what you're waiting for? It was true then. It's true now. It didn't stop being true in between. You mean more to me than anyone ever has."

His smile widened slowly.

"Well …" Shepard said. "What's holding us back then?"

Kaidan searched her eyes. "Nothing."

He brushed a hand across her cheek and slid his fingers into her hair. His thumb rested on the skin by her ear, and he bent in closer. It was taking so damn long though. She surged against him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulled him into her kiss. It made her dizzy to taste him again, feel his tongue against hers. His fingers tightened in her hair, and his other hand raised to her waist and pulled her in closer. Breath burned between their face, and she coiled her arm tighter around his neck and kissed him deeper. Her breath came faster as his hand untangled from her hair and slid down the back of her neck. The kiss was become stronger, greedier, consuming. She pulled away.

"Wait." She panted.

"What?" He said breathless.

He blinked at her as if she was coming back into focus. She drew her arms down from around his neck.

"What's the matter?" he frowned still holding her close around the waist.

"There's something I need to tell you."

His hands slid away, and he stepped back. His eyes had an alert, edge to them. Shepard gripped his arm and held him from retreating.

"What's going on?" he said.

"Don't get worked up," she sputtered. "It's nothing. Stop worrying."

"Okay," he said. He waited, then gave a timid smile. "Do I get to say give me the damn question?"

"It's not a question," she said. "It's just …" Her chest tightened, but she pushed ahead and said it. "I left the Alliance."

"What?" His eyes rounded.

"This morning."

He stepped back and touched his forehead with his fingertips. He paced away, and Shepard rustled through the sand next to him. He stopped short and turned to her.

"The Normandy …"

"I'm leaving her in good hands. It wasn't the metal I loved anyway, it was the people. It was you. It's time for something else."

"You can still get it back, Shepard." Kaidan spun to face her fully. "Talk to Hackett."

"No." Shepard frowned. "I made my decision."

"But, if you'd known … I should have told you." He grabbed her hands roughly. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you'd—"

"Kaidan." Shepard jiggled his hands. "I already knew you'd resigned. Hackett caught me at the transport waiting for you. He tried to change my mind."

"But, why then?" Kaidan swallowed and shook his head. "I resigned. You have to know this, but as long as one of us isn't Alliance, we can be together. It doesn't need to be both of us."

"True," Shepard said. "You should go back, Kaidan. Hackett would take you."

"No." His face scrunched.

"You're worried about your biotics team. This assignment …"

"They're sending me to the Terminus System."

"Then go. We'll figure something out."

"Like what? There are better things for you than going to the Terminus System with me, and it'll be years before the relay's functional to fast travel."

"We'll work it out." Shepard shrugged. "Just go back and—"

"No, Shepard," Kaidan said with a heated firmness. "I don't want to work it out."

"Then ask for another assignment. Hackett's desperate. He'll deal."

"No," Kaidan repeated. "We've lost enough time. And, I'm done serving two masters. Until they figure out where they stand with human Spectres, I'm done. I'll work for the Council, resources or not."

"Resources," Shepard repeated and put her hands on her hips. "Guess the Alliance needs to help us out a little, if they don't want the only two human Spectres embarrassing humanity by begging on the tarmac."

"Wilson will never allow it," Kaidan said. "And the flight admirals aren't much better."

"Perhaps not the Alliance then, but I have clout. We both have connections, friends. We'll make it work. And, who knows? Maybe we can change some things. Humanity's never had Spectres before. We can be trailblazers."

Kaidan shook his head with a reluctant grin. "Sounds like they're in for trouble."

"The Alliance?"

"The Alliance, the Council, whoever stands in your way."

" _Our_ way." Shepard closed the distance between them. "Funny, all this time I thought we accomplished a greater good by doing our separate parts, but I was wrong. We can accomplish more together than the sum of what we could apart. Maybe your greatest weakness can also be your greatest strength. You make me stronger."

"I feel the same way, Shepard." He touched her face with a smile.

"You know, I heard there are some rachni near Palaven. Seems like a Council matter. Someone should reach out to them."

"Maybe a couple of Spectres if they can thumb a ride?" Kaidan grinned.

Shepherd pressed against him and took his face in both hands. "Let's go discuss it then. How about some place a little more … private?"

"Yeah?"

She kissed him. She grabbed his hand, and dragged him toward the stairs.

"Shepard, we're not really going to, uh … multitask, right?"

Shepard laughed and grinned over her shoulder at him. He gave a loopy grin. This warm, full feeling in her chest – it's what she had been searching for all along. For once, surviving the Crucible, didn't feel like fate's mistake. As fingers interlocked and they galloped up the stairs, she knew _this_ was what she wanted next.


	124. Chapter 124

**Epilogue**

**Ten Years Later**

"And this is the day, the day the krogan will never forget." Urdnot Bakara grinned from the center of the stage by the microphone

The Council's amphitheater seats erupted in applause as cameras buzzed overhead. The great expanse of the citadel glimmered through the glass walls around the hall. The lawn and walkways beyond the doors budged with a cornucopia of cheering races. Screens with Bakara's face glowed over the crowds across the city. Bakara turned to the back of the stage and held out an arm. Shepard strode to the front of the stage, and the cheering swelled. Bakara placed a hand on Shepard's back and waited for the roar to die down.

"Councilor Bakara," Shepard nodded to the krogan. Shepard's voice projected back at her from the distant corners of the council stage. "This is the first time a krogan has taken a seat at the Councilors' table. What you and Urdnot Wrex have accomplished, unifying the krogan and restoring the great cities of Tuchanka, is a testament to the great things the krogan can do. And now, you bring that strength to the Council. The return of the krogan is a historic event for Tuchanka and its colonies, but it's also a great moment for the Council. The innovative curiosity Councilor Bakara brought to her own people, will now benefit us all. The boundless strength and tenacity of the krogan now bolsters all the galactic races. Welcome to the Citadel Council. Welcome back, Glory of the Krogan."

Applause rose as ambassadors and delegates got to their feet all around the room. Krogans shoved and roared in the first few rows around the stage. A few reporters stumbled back as a krogan tumbled back from a head butt and broke the backs off a couple of chairs. Councilor Tevos fell in next to Shepard and gave a sideways grin. Councilors Ilk and Sparatus stepped up on Tevos's other side. The audience's cheers pitched up even higher, and Shepard craned her neck around to see Wrex stride out from backstage. He stopped next to Bakara and gave her a toothy nod. She inclined her head with a smile.

"The krogan have returned," Wrex boomed the stage. "Tuchanka recognizes the Galatic Council." He pumped his fist in the air and stirred the deafening crowd. He stepped to the side and put his hand out. "Our Councilors."

Shepard glanced between Bakara and Tevos with a smile. She looked out at the crowd, the Citadel's arms glowing in the distance. The stage echoed with cheers.

 

* * *

 

"Councilor."

Shepard turned. "Garrus! Damn, it's good to see you."

Garrus looped through the crowd in the echoey, white reception room. Cameras flashed in the distance roped off from the main part of the room. VIPs milled among the room's pillars and banquet tables – Alliance brass, Council representatives, and foreign dignitaries. A krogan had already knocked over a buffet table against the wall. Waiters scrambled with towels as some scrambled out from the kitchen with a mop.

"Shepard." Garrus shook her hand.

Tali came up behind him.

"Tali!" Shepard rushed forward and hugged her. "It's been too long."

"Damn, Shepard." Garrus whistled. "I see where I stack up. Where's my hug?"

"Fine." Shepard grabbed him for a hug. "I saw you last month. Tali I haven't seen in … hell, who knows? A year? More?"

"Ten months ago, Shepard," Tali said.

"Felt like a year."

"Have to come to Rannoch with me more often," Garrus said. He turned to Tali and waved a hand at Shepard. "I invite her every Council recess."

Shepard tapped Garrus's arm with her fist. "Hey, you. You keep spending every recess there, Palaven's going to fire you as their Council liaison. Tali, make him go home once in a while."

"We go to Palaven all the time," Tali said putting her hands on her hips. "Might have been a few months maybe. We've got a new house there, you know."

"What about visiting here? Ever think of staying a bit in Garrus's pad on the Citadel?"

"Where do you think I'm staying now?"

"It's been ten months, and the last time I saw you was on Rannoch, not here. Seeing you here is like a Big Foot sighting."

"A what?"

Garrus whispered into the side of her mask, then rolled his eyes to Shepard. "You keep testing my human trivia knowledge. Won't work."

"How do I know what you whispered to her?" Shepard shrugged. "Could have been 'Nod, like you know what I'm saying.'"

"I am so insulted by your Big Foot reference, Shepard," Tali pointed at her.

"Still, not convinced. You could be insulted by context alone. Go ahead, tell me what a Big Foot is. Maybe I made it up just to fool you, Garrus."

Garrus gave her a hard stare. "Sasquatch."

"Damnit! You're getting good."

"He makes me do flashcards with him."

"Tali!" Garrus turned on her.

Shepard laughed. "Huh. Thanks, Tali. I think I can incorporate that into some teasing later."

"Uh, sorry." Tali's mask turned to Garrus and her shoulders pinched up in a shrug.

"Tali, I miss you. You should think about coming back as the quarian ambassador," Shepard said. "Herron's an asshole."

"Shepard," Garrus said under his breath and looked around them with wide eyes. "He could have been standing right behind you, would you have known? You're supposed to have tact to be a Councilor."

"They can fire me." Shepard shrugged. "Everyone knows he's an asshole. He probably knows he's an asshole."

"Herron's just…" Tali paused. "Yeah, I can't think of anything nice to say."

"See." Shepard looked at Garrus and motioned at Tali. "Even Tali."

Garrus chuckled. "So, a quarian admiral has, quote, 'nothing nice to say.' That, compares to a Councilor calling the quarian ambassador an asshole?"

"Just to you."

"And the passing wait staff," Garrus said.

"And that guy over there," Tali said. "Maybe those ones behind you too."

Shepard rolled her eyes with a limp shrug. She turned to Tali. "Any chances though? I'd put in some good words."

Tali's mask tilted. "The quarian ambassador and Palaven liason …"

"Sounds like a good vid," Shepard said. "You eat that stuff up. It could be real life."

"Sounds like a media storm," Garrus mused. "Let's do it."

"No, no, no." Tali put up a hand. "I'm staying on Rannoch. Excursions are all right, but I waited all my life to be there. I'm not moving to the Citadel or Earth."

Garrus sighed. "She's gonna make me retire young and settle down in Rannoch. Be a boring farmer."

"I couldn't make you do anything," Tali said.

"Oh, no. Not you," Garrus said. "My love for you. Does this stuff to me all the time."

"Well." Shepard patted Garrus's back. "I'm hoping you have a few good years left in you before you break out the plow."

"We'll see," Garrus said. "Damn tough being apart so much. Retirement doesn't sound half bad, even if I'm counting seeds. Long as I have the love of my life."

"Oh." Tali snuggled his arm. "I love you, too. We should go to Palaven on your next break."

"Sure. Hey, look, Tali." Garrus nodded his head at the corner of the room. "Shepard's asshole ambassador is waving at you."

"Oh, no."

"Yeah. Enjoy that." Shepard moved off. "That's my prompt to mingle."

"He's coming over." Tali sighed.

"Shepard," Garrus said. "Drinks later?"

Shepard turned. "The Fountain's down for reconstruction."

"Earth then," he said.

"Okay." Shepard pointed at him as she backed away. "Message me."

 

* * *

 

"Thought I saw the Normandy come in." Shepard plucked a stemmed glass from the buffet table.

"Lola." James turned with a plate in one hand.

"Councilor." Joker peeked around James's shoulder.

"Joker." Shepard nodded them looked between them. "So, how was Hades? Got those mercs pinned down yet?"

"Working on it." James picked a cluster of grapes off his plate. He pulled a grape off the stem with his teeth. "You met my new XO, right? Damn brutal with the shotgun. Those vorcha mercs – vano. Right, Joker?"

"You're asking me, Vega?" Joker laughed. "Uh, little busy. Had to outmaneuver their supped up Bakarian cruiser. You know, so I could come back and save your asses."

"Ah, right." James grinned and finished off the last grape. He tossed the stem in the garbage. "Meant to ask what you're doing up there. Picked us up ten minutes late."

Joker stared at him. "Uh, Captain. For the first point—"

"Hey, hey." Shephard put out a hand. "I've seen enough headbutting this month."

"Oh, yeah," James said. "How'd that go? Tuchanka nice this time of year?"

"Is it nice any time of year?" Joker said then turned to Shepard. "Vids made you look all humanitarian. Kissing krogan babies and all."

"A month too," James whistled. "Long time to be shacked up with the krogan."

"Trust me. My entourage was extensive. It wasn't just the krogan."

"When you get back?" James picked at his plate then set it on an empty table.

Shepard sipped from her wine glass. "Been here for …" She checked her Omni-Tool. "Fifteen hours."

"You're kidding?" James said.

"Seriously? That's a close shave," Joker said.

"Hey, they weren't starting without Bakara." Shepard shrugged. "Walked off the ship, shooed Anita away with Avyn. We practically strolled right on stage clearing our throats for the speeches."

Shepard tipped her head back with the glass and finished it. She set it on the table next to James's plate.

"Maybe we oughtta move. We're in traffic," James said motioning around them.

A salarian danced around Shepard to get to the drink table.

"Hey, there's Miranda." Joker pointed to a figure moving through the crowd toward them.

"Let's get out of the way," Shepard agreed with James.

They settled against the wall. Miranda swung around a pillar and came up beside Shepard.

"Got back from the Tuchanka tour, Shepard?" Miranda said. "Thought I'd see you before the ceremony."

"Hey, Miranda." James nodded.

"James, Joker."

"Sorry. We rolled in late," Shepard said.

"She's still here? I can scan her right now."

Shepard checked the time on her Omni-Tool. "Probably already left."

"You're not staying on the Citadel?" Miranda asked.

"Headed planetside."

Miranda sighed. Joker's eyes glazed, and he glanced over at the buffet table.

"Later," Joker said. "Fancy cheese to sample."

He passed around them with his cane.

"I do this for _you_ , you know, Shepard." Miranda tapped her foot to draw Shepard's attention.

"I know. Can't say it hasn't helped your career though. That paper you published … Had a horde of salarians rushing us on Sur'Kesh three months ago after they read it."

"Good to know people still read science instead of just watching vids."

James gave them lazy looks and brought up a screen on his Omni-Tool. He leaned against the wall and started to scroll through what looked like messages. Shepard pulled her eyes away and smiled at Miranda.

"Why don't you come planetside? Come down for dinner this week."

Miranda pursed her lips. "Is Avyn going to spend all dinner hiding in her room?"

"You need blood or just a scan?"

"Both."

"Eh. I'll smoke her out. If we just get it done, we can enjoy the rest of the night. How much longer you need to keep running the blood? Thought you said she was out of the woods."

"Almost out of the woods, isn't out of the woods."

Shepard nodded, quiet. Miranda eyed her.

"Don't worry. Those other neural bundles … after this much time? They're benign. This is just being cautious."

"I suppose," Shepard murmured.

James shifted and turned off his Omni-Tool. He looked down the banquet table at Joker.

"I'm going to check on the alcohol situation. Be back," he said and moved off.

"She'll never need an implant, you know," Miranda said.

"Yeah." Shepard bunched her shoulders, folding her arms, and looked off. "If that's a good thing."

"It is. Human evolution, Shepard. All those years with eezo exposure contained, it was postulated humanity had seen the last generation of biotics. Now this? It's a step forward."

"If your child lives," Shepard said. "I doubt those biotic parents think of it as a step forward."

"You're not one of them. That's what matters," Miranda said. "How many human biotics are there to begin with, let alone how many have children together? Eezo in the DNA. Essentially, a germline mutation becoming somatic. Just the right combination of chromsomes. It's—it's—"

"I read the paper," Shepard said flatly.

"Don't be testy, Shepard. I'm trying to help."

Shepard gave a dragging sigh. "I'm … sorry. Just, you make it sound like some grand discovery and leap for humankind. For me? Worst years of my life. Hands down. Worse than Saren or being spaced. Worse than the reaper invasion. To me."

"Don't do this again." Miranda rolled her eyes. "It's no one's fault."

"But, I'd heard about babies with the tumors. Knew it had something to do with biotic pairings. If we'd … I don't know. What's passed is passed. Got through hell. Here now."

"As she gets older, the risk decreases for another tumor. She's almost out of the woods, Shepard."

Shepard shrugged. "I hope so."

"What're we talking about?" James came up between them with a freshly loaded plate.

"They don't feed you on the Normandy?" Shepard asked.

"This?" James touted the plate rolling with crackers, meats, cheeses, and fruit. "What we get ain't exactly fresh."

"Good to be home, then?" Shepard asked.

"If I come over for dinner," Miranda said, "do I have to listen to him again?" She indicated James. "Your Normandy escapades get more outlandish with each retelling."

"We have to listen to fetus neural structure?" James shot back. "Kind of ruins the appetite."

"You might need to hear about fetal neural structures more often then," Miranda said pointing at his stomach. "Getting a little soft around the middle."

"Huh? You want me to take my shirt off? We'll settle this."

"Save the entertainment for Shepard's dinner." Miranda took a step back. "Tomorrow?"

"Works for me," Shepard said.

"You want me to cook?" James asked. "Got some new recipes. Jalapeno burrito."

"Shepard …" Miranda gave her a pleading look.

"Anita'll cook," Shepard reassured. "Don't worry."

"Thank you." Miranda walked off.

Shepard snagged a piece of cheese off James's plate. She bit the cheese with a grin, but he just shrugged.

"So …" she said.

"Hey." He grinned suddenly. "Bec tell you what Avyn did last time we had her? It was right before Tuchanka, think you're on Arcturus. You know, she's just like you." James pointed at her with a slice of pepperoni then wadded it into his mouth.

"What'd she do?" Shepard folded her arms.

"Well, she's out playing with the twins, right? It's getting dark. So, I go out and tell 'em it's time for bed. Avyn's trying to persuade me. I'm having none of it. I tell her it's dark, they've got school tomorrow. She says to me, 'Uncle James, I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree.' Respectfully disagree!"

"Uh, that's not me coming out." Shepard plucked another piece of cheese off his plate. He frowned this time. "That's one hundred percent her father. Probably remembered him saying it to me."

"That's not the part I'm talking about."

"There's more?" Shepard grimaced and took another bite of her cheese.

"Yeah. So, I send them to bed. Bec and I are cleaning up dinner and, uh … talking and stuff."

"Talking and stuff? You censoring this for me?"

"And … stuff." James grinned. "We're in the kitchen. I see this blue light through the window, out in the yard. Knew right away. I get out there. Sure enough. Avyn's out tossing the ball around with the twins. I'm like, 'What do you guys think you're doing? You two in. Avyn, go.' I used her name, so she knows I'm pissed. She picks up the ball and comes over to me. Says, 'I tried changing your mind so you wouldn't be so mad when we came back out here.' Like she was doing it for me, to make me feel better for when she did whatever she wanted to do anyway. Then, Twins are all upset. Tailor's sobbing, apologizing, and apologizing. Avyn's just shrugging."

Shepard grinned. "Okay. I'll give you that. Could be a little bit of me there."

"A bit?" James laughed. "She's always doing crap like that. I try to keep the harsh face, ya know, but uh, yeah … sometimes. You got your work cut out. Be glad you only got one."

"Gone in for the ultrasound yet? Do you get to recycle the twin outfits?"

"Lola … don't even go there." James moved crackers around on his plate and dug for the last slice of salami. "Those sleepless nights again? It's illegal for me to keep prisoners up that long."

"Maybe you need to be more careful about your, uh, 'talking and … stuff.'"

James chuckled eating a cracker. "Just, can't be twins this time. All I'm hoping for."

"Triplets then."

"Lola, stop."

"Hey. Just be glad it's even an option."

James looked up from his plate with round eyes. "Uh … Yeah, Lola. Guess so."

Shepard grabbed another cracker of his plate.

"What? Stop," he said.

"Coming over for dinner tomorrow then?" Shepard asked.

"I'll see how Becca's feeling, but sure."

"Good. The twins can entertain Avyn. She's bored. Keep hearing about it. But, I'll be thinking of some repercussions for that little stint. She tries to get the sentence commuted, I'm telling her 'I have to respectfully disagree.'"

"I like it, Lola. Sure you don't want to adopt some six year old twins? Or, you wait five months, probably have an infant up for grabs."

"When you leave my house tomorrow, I'm counting heads. Already got my hands full."

"You know what they say about the apple and the apple tree, Lola."

"I know. Karma. Still unfair."

Shepard bid everyone good night and reception hall exit. As she neared the doors and heard the roar, she grimaced. It looked like she'd be beating back the reporters to get home.

 

* * *

 

Shepard turned down the Citadel hallway and looked over her shoulder. The last reporter had finally broken off when she's switched back through an ancillary council chamber. The media was restricted from being back in the Councilor's housing, but you couldn't get everyone to play by the rules, especially reporters. Her apartment door stood at the end of the hallway.

"Shepard."

Shepard stopped short. She twisted around. Liara stepped out of the shadows of an intersecting hall and strolled over.

"Liara! Where'd you … why weren't you at the reception? Why're you here?"

"I wanted to catch you alone. Too many people suspect who I am. Thought it might look bad for you in front of the cameras."

"Ah, right. Tonight on ANN: What is the human councilor and alleged shadow broker talking about at the reception banquet? Tune in to find out."

"Maybe not ANN, Shepard. The gossip sites."

"They'd have to take a breath from criticizing my outfits," Shepard said. "If they found sources close enough to hear what we actually talk about, I think they'd be rather disappointed."

"Perhaps they'd assume there's something to read between the lines."

"The human councilor and alleged shadow broker exchange banana bread recipes. War with the rachni? Tune in to find out."

Liara gave a soft smile. "I was at Bakara's ceremony, in the audience. You did it."

"Little help here and there." Shepard smiled at her. "Hey. Miranda, James, and Becca are coming over for dinner tomorrow. My house on Earth. You should come."

"Miranda, James, and Becca. That's all?" Liara asked quietly.

"And you, if you'll come. Anita too. You've met her. And, the kids. Fair warning on that. The twins and Avyn - matchsticks and oxygen. Gets loud."

Liara pulled up a small smile. "Yes. Perhaps."

"But no. No, in the end."

Liara gave a limp shrug. "Perhaps."

"I'll lock the kids up. Could send them down to the beach. We can have nice adult conversation over wine."

"It sounds nice, Shepard."

"But still no?"

Liara shrugged and looked down. "Perhaps."

"You never come over." Shepard frowned. "Why?"

"I'm busy. A lot of responsibilities in my work."

"Sure …" Shepard studied her. "You should make time. Time for something else."

"Like you?" Liara said. "You don't miss it? The Normandy? The action?"

"Sometimes," Shepard admitted.

Liara nodded silently.

"Hey." Shepard took a deep breath and stepped in closer. "Tell me there's nothing to these rumors going around, Liara? Selling colony information to the Terminus slavers?"

Liara didn't say anything.

"Liara," Shepard said slowly. "If it's not true, deny it. That leak, everything I heard, I thought they're just slandering you."

"Where's did this leak come from? The media hasn't gotten wind of it. Why?"

Shepard stared at her then took a step back. "I repressed it. Our Council intel uncovered it. I didn't think it was true. Couldn't believe it. The slavers are paying you to repress their movements, sow misinformation to Council and Alliance sources, giving them the colonies' security and population numbers? And that quarian massacre a few years back. You gave the ground terrorists the flotilla's reactor codes? Thousands died. And all the rest I heard … tell me it isn't true."

"Of course not," Liara said coolly.

Shepard touched her throat. "You know what slavers mean to me?"

"Yes. I'll talk to my sources in the Terminus System. If the Council sources are being fed lies, I'll send reliable information your way."

Shepard swallowed and stared unfocused at the wall in thought. "That would be … You're telling me this isn't true?" Shepard peered closely at her.

"Of course not." Liara held her gaze.

Shepard nodded slowly. "I hope not, Liara. Why were you so silent at first? You scared me."

"Thank you for repressing this … misinformation," Liara said.

"Right." Shepard frowned.

"There are things I should attend to," Liara said and moved to the corner of the intersecting hallway.

"It's not true?" Shepard repeated with a dry throat.

"No."

Shepard let her hand fall from her throat and nodded. "We should talk sometime. Soon. If you can't come to dinner, give me a rain check."

"Of course, Shepard."

She disappeared down the other hall. Shepard's eyes stuck on the mouth of the hallway.  Her heart beat in her ears. With a slow, long breath, she pulled her eyes away. Liara said it wasn't true. It wasn't true. Shepard walked down the hall to her Citadel apartment.

 

* * *

 

The door slid open on the dark Citadel apartment. Dim light projected through the window as Shepard moved inside. She tripped. She caught herself against the wall with a curse and snatched a model spaceship off the floor.

"Avyn," she growled and tossed it on the couch.

She flicked the lights on. The luggage was gone. Anita had already left then. She'd even taken Shepard's luggage. Perfect.

Shepard walked to the window. She looked out at the glittering arms of the citadel. A lot left to restore. Her eyes moved to the dark sections. Eventually, it'd be more than just council chambers and dignitary housing. One bar so far, and one place to eat. Someday it would be great again though. Until then, they'd rely on Earth.

Earth. Shepard folded her arms with a smile and looked out past the arms of the citadel. The green and blue globe filled most of the space in the background. Stars peeked through the narrow section of dark sky framing the bright orb. Her heart warmed, and Shepard backed up. She walked to her bedroom. If Anita had taken her bags, she only needed to grab a few things.

 

* * *

 

Shepard lifted her satchel off the floor of the shuttle and stepped out onto the grainy landing pad. Her hair whipped around her in the wind. The council-staff pilot gave her a smiling nod sped and lifted up against the background of dark mountains and swaying pine trees. Shepard turned back into the wind. The sky glowed a fiery red. A blazing line, all that remained of the dropping sun, burned on the very lip of the ocean. It reflected all the way to the sandy beach.

Shepard tightened her fingers on the satchel's handle and wandered to the ocean-worn, wooden railing running along the beach. It skirted the beach and rose up to the multistoried house on cliff in the distance. Wide sweeping decks encircled the glass walled middle story. The view over the ocean vista, even from inside the house, not on the deck, was breathtaking. Shepard smiled into the wind. Seagulls and ocean waves. No passing shuttles or cacophony of voices and bustling. No one else around for miles. Just the house and the ocean.

Shepard drew the scent of pine and salty beach into her lungs and picked her way along the railed pathway. White paint flaked off the weathered wood as her hand ran lightly along it. Shepard gazed up at the house as she neared, and her steps slowed. Anita's shuttle was missing. It should be on the landing pad right by the house. Shepard frowned, stopped, and flicking her Omni-Tool on. No messages. Shepard tapped her fingernails on the railing. She glanced back at the beach's landing pad where she'd been dropped off, then turned back to the empty pad by the house. Maybe Anita had stopped at the Vancouver apartment first to get something.

Seagulls squawked overhead, and Shepard's eyes turned to the ocean's horizon burning with sunset. Her eyes stopped on a shape in the sand. It wasn't a person, but it was large. She pressed up against the railing and squinted at it with a tilt of her head. Her breath slowed. She set her satchel in the sand and ducked under the railing. The peeling wood caught her hair as she came up on the other side. She smoothed it down in the wind as she walked down into the sand.

She stopped over a trail in the dry, powdery sand. She looked to her side. There were two trails. She followed them until the sand turned wet. The trails became imprints. Feet. Individual toes stood out into the sand above the footpads. Small prints trailed alongside much larger ones pressing deeper into the sand. Water already filled the heels. Shepard followed the footsteps to where they stopped in the wet sand. It looked like from here, they had turned back, skimming along the beach, and turning onto the walkway.

Shepard gazed at the last two set of footprints where the trail had turned back. The footprints had pressed in so deep the whole foot, even the arch, was visible for both the large and small set. Shepard lifted her head to what had drawn her attention in the beginning when she'd left the pathway.

Half way between the ocean and the footprints, towered an enormous sandcastle. It stood as tall as her probably, maybe taller. Towers and spires decorated the corners, and it was surrounded by a large moat partially washed away. One of the back towers nearest the ocean had melted in on itself. The tide must have come in, but it was going out now.

A smile brimmed on Shepard's lips. The castle's whole western half was starting to collapse where the tower had gone down. Shepard stepped on the pair of larger footprints. The little footprints with the small toes stood next to her as her boots sunk into the sand.

She focused on the castle and stretched a hand out. The air flared with blue light. Sand particles swirled in a glowing vortex rising off the beach. Shepard bit her lip and compacted it with both her hands. Grains of wet sand coalesced, sticking, and pressed into a cylinder at the base of the toppled tower. The castle's tower rose little by little as sand streamed up from the base around it.

The sand tower rose higher, but the sand was dribbled and loosened beneath as she built. Shepard frowned. It was starting to melt outward from the foundation. Shepard moved down from the top of the tower and compacted the tower's base. Her face scrunched with a frown. The tower top tipped and leaned to the side. Shepard couldn't pull a hand away from holding the base together to steady it or it would all cave in. The tower top started to slip.

The tower top burst with blue light. Shepard's eyes widened, her hands still holding the base pressed together. The tower top right itself, sand rose up in a swirling blue haze, and compacted the tower's peak. The sand pressed tighter, building, smoothing, and coalescing into a sharp, swirling spire.

Shepard snapped her head to the house. A faint blue glow shone in the distance from the deck overlooking the ocean. The glow faded away, and the tower's light faded away, except for the base where Shepard still held it. Shepard drew her hands away slowly, blue fading away, and it held. Her skin faded out. The tower stood solid.

Shepard raced back through the sand, almost tripping in the sand. She ducked the railing and sprinted up the pathway pumping her arms. Sand blew over the pathway and sprinkled against her boots as she spurred faster. She rushed past the empty landing pad by the house. Anita must have been sent home then.

Shepard burst through the front door into the house, ruddy with the glow of the sunset. Garlic tinged the air, intermingling with some savory meaty aroma. Shepard kicked her boots off by the door, spraying sand, and padded into the glass-walled living room. The door down the hallway stood partially open and dark. It was late. The sun set late in the summer this far north on the Pacific.

Shepard strolled to kitchen and looked over the granite countertop. The oven was on. A wine bottle stood on the bar further down the counter. A corkscrew, still holding the cork, rested at the base of a single, empty stemmed glass. The deck glowed bright with sunset from the glimpses she catch through the window between the kitchen cabinets. A warm trail of sunset projected on the wooden floorboards at the base of the counter from the glass patio door.

Shepard poured wine into the empty glass. The wine bottle label made her smile as she set it down. She almost forgot him buying it - Crystal wine from the Tuchanka market during the second week's tour of the south capitol. He must have kept it unopened after being called off to Kite Nests, saved it. If the strike had finally honed in on that slave lord, the Council was going to need his Spectre report sooner rather than later. It hadn't come through yet, but maybe that was by design. Back a week early. Shepard grinned into her cup and took a sip.

She swirled the wine in her glass and dragger her fingers behind her on the kitchen counter as she strolled to the patio door. As she neared the glass doors, the red-tinted deck expanded out in her vision. A silhouette leaned forward on the railing looking out at the ocean. Light refracted in the glass of wine resting on the rail in his fingertips. His face turned, a dark profile against the horizon. Shepard's smile widened. She opened the glass slider and stepped out.


End file.
